Some context. Im Dutch and large mixed gender nude spa's are very normal here. You usually wear a robe in between the sauna's and baths etc. But inside the sauna, baths etc you're not clothed. There are loads of different saunas, pools, baths, chaairs, and places to relax, so you can easily spend a whole day there.

I (30m) went to a spa by myself recently. I have a busy job and young kids, so a day off on my own is a pretty rare thing for me.

I was sitting in a jacuzzi when a guy came up to me and introduced himself as the boyfriend of one of my coworkers. He explained that they were there together, but that his girlfriend was uncomfortable being naked around a male coworker. She's pregnant, and she wanted to relax, but apparently couldn't do that with me there.

He basically asked me to leave.

I told him I understood where she was coming from. Personally, I wouldn't think much of it if a coworker saw me naked at a spa, but I realise not everyone feels the same way, and it's probably a different situation for a woman. I didn't want her to spend the whole day feeling uncomfortable because of me, so I asked him if there was anything I could do to make things more confortable for her.

He said she wanted me to leave, and that was the only thing that would make her comfortable.

I told him sorry, but I wasn't going to leave. This was my day off too, and I don't get many of them.

I did offer to make her as confortable as possible. I wouldnt enter any sauna or bath they were in. I would actively look away if we did cross paths and do my best to avoid here in general. Altough I couldnt promise we wouldnt cross paths at all. But I would make an effort.

He wasn't rude about it, but he kept insisting that they wanted me to leave. I told him that if she really couldn't relax with me there, then I didn't see why I should be the one who had to go. I hadn't done anything wrong, and I was willing to avoid her as much as possible, but I wasn't going to give up my day entirely.

He clearly wasn't happy with my answer, and we left it at that. I didn't see either of them for the rest of the day, so I assume they went home.

Later I heard from some colleagues that she was upset I'd refused to leave. Apparently, some people think I should have just gone because being naked is more vulnerable for a woman than for a man.

And I do understand that position. I empathise with her and understand her disconfort of being naked around a male coworker. ​But at the same time, I was there to relax too, and I don't think it's fair that I should have to leave just because someone else is uncomfortable with me being there. I tried to find a middle ground, but that wasn't good enough for them.

So, AITA? Should I have just left to make her feel comfortable, or was it reasonable to stay and try to avoid her instead?

Edit: several comments talk about me being there first. I actually dont know if I was in the spa first. They just noticed me first. Its pretty big so easy to miss someone for a while. I personally dont think its relevant who was there first, but please correct me if you do think its relevant!

My ex wife is requesting I cancel our child support order because she is struggling to get ahead due to the $380 she pays me a month. She is 9 months pregnant in her new relationship and will be going on unpaid leave here soon so will owe back child support when she returns to work. Out of the $380 she gives me $200 of it goes directly into an investment account for our child and the other $180 pays for her musical instrument and at least 1 personal day for her and I. AITA for not wanting to stop the payments since she is struggling even though it is better for the child in the long run?

My mother in law has these pre conceived ideas on what she thinks my birth plan is. I told her we will have visitors at the hospital, but only after the baby comes and has had time with my husband and I for a few hours. She’s really pissed about this because she assumed she would be there all day or night waiting for the baby to come. We also would prefer nobody to hold her as it’s flu and cold season, but to avoid another fight , and because I understand it might be too much to ask, we’re going to let my husbands parents hold her. My only thing is when she told my brother in law with Down syndrome he would get to hold the baby, I told her privately that I’m not comfortable with that. I love my brother in law, but he hates babies, he’s never held one before - let alone one that’s a couple hours old, and he’s not the most hygienic person. AITAH for setting this boundary about my brother in law, it’s not forever , just for the first couple weeks until the baby gets stronger incase he doesn’t support her properly.

My husband (32M) and I (31F) had our daughter's first birthday party a few days ago. We had a ton of fun prepping for her party over the prior months, and really believed we thought of every little detail. I handmade my daughter's outfit, invites, party favors, decorations; I made all the food, etc. We put as much love and thought into the day possible, just like any parent would for their child's birthday.

The issue arose whenever guests started arriving. My BIL asked where the beer was. I said, "Oh, sorry; we didn't think of that! We actually don't have any". He got angry and called over a few of my husband's uncles and his father to berate us about not having beer, or any alcohol, at the party. They called us "stuck up", and said they believe that "we think they're better than them for not drinking".

For context, both my husband and I don't drink. I haven't drank before, and my husband did up until a few years ago when had serious gastrointestinal issues related to alcohol specifically. However, they blame me for him not drinking anymore. We are not judgmental of those that do, and did not specifically ban alcohol from our daughter's party.

My husband said that if they weren't happy with the drink selection, they were welcome to go get their own. We live close to a big box store and multiple gas stations. Instead, my BIL and his family chose to leave, and later chose to berate my husband and I over the phone for being "prude assholes". My husband said that he "hoped they would have a good night, and that they got home safe", and hung up on him.

So, Reddit; are we "prude assholes" for not buying alcohol for our daughter's first birthday party?

So my birthday was last week and I’m not usually the type of person to take my birthday very seriously I just kind of stay inside like it’s whole other day. My boyfriend’s parents take birthdays, pretty seriously so all day they were surprising me with gifts and food. To which I all appreciated. I was very very grateful and even cried when his mom gave me a keychain of a game that I have only mentioned once the whole time of knowing her.

After all the guests have left, his dad told me that he had one last surprise for me and that it was gonna be special. I was already a little nervous because of everything that had already gone on that day. I was feeling very, very tired and my social battery was on low. His dad then walks out with a big 8 x 8 cake and it was an upside down pineapple cake. I immediately thanked him and gave him a hug telling them that this was the best birthday ever. We sliced up the cake and I realized that there was pineapple on it. I am absolutely not a fan of pineapple. If I take one bite out of it, the texture makes me gag. I was picking up the cake trying to eat around the pineapple, but the whole cake tasted like a pineapple to me and I was having a hard time eating it. His dad noticed and asked me if I didn’t like the cake to which I said it’s not that I just had a lot of food today and the alcohol isn’t sitting right in my stomach. I I asked my boyfriend to finish the cake to which he said he couldn’t so I said I’m going to take it upstairs and try to eat it slowly.

When I got upstairs, I did throw the cake away because I didn’t want to be rude or hurt my boyfriend’s dad feelings. When my boyfriend got upstairs, he noticed the cake in the trashcan and started yelling at me that I was ungrateful and picky. He then took the trashcan downstairs and showed his dad that I had not finished the cake which did upset him. I explained to him that my stomach has just really been hurting and that my stomach was being sensitive but that made him feel worse saying he should’ve brought it out earlier. I thanked him for it again but I could tell he was upset and my boyfriend looked pissed. After getting ready for bed and going home, my boyfriend said he couldn’t believe how rude I was to his dad. Am I the asshole ? Was I being too picky?

I have a studio apartment 3 minutes off my college campus. My brother (freshman) lives in a dorm. He does NOT like his roommates--one snores, never leaves the room, while the other one stays up late, brings people into the room at midnight--so he has trouble sleeping.

My brother has a key to my apartment. I go home--my parent's house-- most weekends, so I gave him one so he can get a good nights sleep there. He typically uses it Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. I don't really care, as I'm not even there. It does add more work for me, however, as he uses my sheets and towels so I'm having to wash them after each time he sleeps there, so they are clean for myself (he sleeps in my bed). He also cooks there, studies there, and just hangs out. But I feel bad for him, so want to provide a space for him to sleep.

However, some weeknights my boyfriend stays with me, example, tonight. My brother asked if he can sleep there as he says his roommates are making him crazy. It's not really that big of a deal, but since I have a studio, he would have to sleep on the couch. It's very close to the bed. Again, not a super big deal, but as selfish as it sounds, I sometimes just want to be with my boyfriend.

My parent's house is 40 minutes away from our college. I suggested to him that he can always drive home for a night, to which he says "That's a funny joke." He has a car on campus, as well.

I told him he can use my apartment all day today, as well as every night this weekend, but I want it to myself tonight to spend time with my boyfriend. He got very mad that he cannot use it tonight to sleep. I know that sounds so selfish of me, so I am wondering AITAH for not letting my brother sleep in my apartment tonight?

Edit: I'm going to explain why it feels selfish at least to me, I feel like since he is my younger brother, I should be there for him no matter what.

A few of my coworkers and I were having a discussion about things to put in an expectant mother gift, as one of my coworker, we'll call him Bob, just got married this summer, and now he and his wife are expecting.

My idiot coworker, we'll call him Dolt, criticize my suggestion of the swaddle wraps that people can wear and carry their babies (usually) against their chests. Dolt decided to condemn my idea, and said there's no way he'd ever get one of those, because they're for LAZY PARENTS! He said you should be holding your baby, a baby is not an accessory, and only lazy people used those.

What?! Excuse? I would think just the opposite. Parents that are multitasking and trying to get more done use them, and using one in no way makes a person lazy. He said if you were trying to get things done, and couldn't hold the baby, then put them in the stroller.

I told him he was an idiot, and that he better call all the African Tribal Mothers and let them know he thinks they're lazy moms. AITA?

ETA: yes, I'm white. I'm 48, and grew up in Michigan. When I was little and in school in the 80s, we had National Geographic magazines GALORE. I was always amazed by the colorful and glorious photos, and the African Tribe articles are my favorite. I found inspiration in the women could do so much, and have their babies attached to them so they could be on the go! I have a friend that used to swaddle her child with a wrap, but for what ever reason, the first picture that came to mind when he said lazy, were those national Geographic photos of the mothers who were active, innovative, and determined to get stuff done, and never had to put their babies down. I'm AuDHD, and my brain is constantly processing and picturing things, and my mouth moves faster than my filter.

Also edited to clarify dolt is not the dad to be. He is already the dad of a 16 year old daughter.

About six months ago, a close friend reached out asking if I could take in their dog. My friend was going through a very difficult life transition, moving into temporary housing that didn't allow pets, and said they couldn't afford the dog's care anymore. At the time, my friend explicitly said, "I can't keep them anymore, please take them or I'll have to surrender them to a shelter." I agreed, and they transferred the dog's microchip and registration over to my name.

When I took the dog to the vet for a routine checkup, the vet discovered a severe, untreated dental infection and a joint issue that required immediate surgery. Over the past half-year, I have spent over $3,000 of my own savings on surgeries, medications, special dietary food, and rehab. I also completely adjusted my lifestyle to care for the dog while recovering. Today, the dog is healthy, happy, and extremely attached to me.

Last week, my friend called me. Their living situation has stabilized, and they offered to pay me back $500 (all they can afford right now) to have the dog back. They argued that they only gave the dog up out of desperation and that the dog originally belonged to them for three years.

I told them no.

I explained that I have spent thousands of dollars, bonded deeply with the dog, and that the transfer was permanent. My friend broke down crying, calling me heartless for "taking advantage of their lowest point" and keeping their pet when they were finally back on their feet.

Now our mutual friend group is deeply split

 Half of them say I saved the dog's life, paid for medical bills the original owner neglected/couldn't afford, and legally/emotionally the dog is mine.
 
The other half say I am acting selfishly because my friend only gave the dog up under extreme duress, and I should let them buy the dog back on a payment plan since they loved the dog first.
AITA for refusing to give the dog back?

[EDIT] Going to use some of these comments to create a message to send to them stating I won’t be giving the dog back and why.

I am really interested in local artists in my area and love supporting local artists when I can. I was thrifting with my sister last week when I found a gorgeous painting by a lesser known local artist. I’ve actually admired his work for a while having seen it in local artist shows. I recognized his style, but not the painting itself. Once I looked closer, I saw that this was clearly a painting he had made as a personal gift to someone. It had a very sweet note on the back explaining the piece and what it meant and a Merry Christmas message.

It was only 3 dollars and I bought it so fast. He usually sells his work for close to 2,000 dollars, which is out of my budget as someone who works in education.

I found his website and he has a contact me page. Clearly he runs it himself. I was talking to my sister and mentioned that I was thinking about messaging him about how much I love this painting I thrifted. She said that would be mean since clearly he painted this for one specific person and they basically threw it away, so it would hurt his feelings. I’ve been talking to other friends and they are torn. A few agree with my sister and think I shouldn’t potentially ruin this guys relationship with his friend. Other people say that an artist would love to hear that someone is enjoying their work, no matter how they came to find it. I see

Edit: y’all, I didn’t realize my post cut off. Here is how it was supposed to end

I see both sides and don’t want to hurt his feelings. I don’t want to tell him the price, just that I found his painting and it has been personally meaningful to me. WIBTA if I reached out to him?

I am seeing that my desire to tell him I enjoy this piece might cause more harm than good, so I will just enjoy it on my wall and the next time I see him at a local art show, I’ll tell him I love his work in general. Thanks, all

My coworker had to suddenly take her leave due to her ill father. We were not given a lot of information, but it is possible that they might be looking at the worst case scenario.

Turns out, there were a lot of email threads going around to cover her work while she's on her leave. She emailed me directly asking if I could cover meetings for her. She also wrote:

"Please let me know if you or someone else can take it, here is my phone number if you need details xxx-xxxx-xxxx."

I called my boss (50F), because when someone takes a leave, our boss usuallly distributes projects/meetings. When I called her, she told me:

"Just tell her to not worry about it. She might be grieving".

But when I asked her for guidance on how the meetings/projects were to be distributed, she was like, "figure it out" in corporate language.

Fair enough! So I emailed my coworker back, saying:

"Hello there, 

I am so sorry to hear about your dad's situation. I hope you don't have to worry about anything pertaining to work at the moment.

(3-5 sentences on how the meetings will be covered)

I will let AAAA, BBBB, CCCC, and DDDD (names of people involved in the meetings) know too, so that you don't have to worry about communicating with the team while you're on your leave. 

Sincerely, 

XXXX"

I CC'd my boss to the reply.

Fast forward a couple of days, my boss sends me a 1:1 invite for a meeting. I asked her what the meeting is about, and she says it's for "performance and email correspondence".

I had no idea what I was getting into. Turns out, my boss did not like how I didn't just say "don't worry about it" and wrote a "long email" to my coworker. She said it is inconsiderate to reply to her email while she's on a leave with a potential parental death. I tell her, that I'm sorry, I didn't see it from that perspective. I thought it would be kinder and more thoughtful give her reassurance on how her projects are being handled, instead of just replying, "It is covered" or "don't worry about it".

Then my boss said, she acknowledges that I had good intentions, but since I did not follow her instructions, she is giving me a verbal warning for "insubordination". While it will not be on my record, it will increase the risk of getting a written warning.

I personally didn't agree with it, so I'm refuting the verbal warning with our union leader. Was I really an asshole for emailing my coworker back???

For my (30F) birthday we ate dinner at home. It is not my birthday but he is leaving to visit his friends for a wedding on my birthday.

He (30M) made chicken salad (EDIT green salad + chicken NOT whatever mayo chicken thing y'all are thinking of) which I find weird since I don't really like this and didn't ask for it but whatever. I asked him to put carrots in it and I had some in a container in the fridge. He asked where it was and I said the bottom shelf. He didn't look and just asked me to go get it. I am doing something else and asked him to get it. He said he refused and was obviously frustrated. I asked him why he couldn't do it and he said he doesn't know where it is. It is easy to see if you try.

I told him I didn't want his dinner and went to go study by myself. I guess he wants some big reward for making dinner and hates the idea of me wanting something added to it? We are trying to save money which is why I didn't want to go out. He just acts stubborn and will refuse to do something if I ask him to do a little task and its really irritating.

EDIT: It was just salad greens with chicken on top. Not that other type of chicken salad sandwich type. So many people were bothered by this LOL.

I’m F29 and my sister is F31. This year my sister gave birth to her first baby, a gorgeous little girl in March. This baby is so loved by everyone in my family there is zero question about that. The issue we are all having currently is with my sister. My sister had some complications with her birth. She had a C-Section which at first went fine but afterwards she had some complications which she needed to go back down to surgery for. My family, my husband and my brother in law were so frightened when it happened and it was probably one of the scariest things we have experienced. She did however recover great and her and baby were perfect afterwards and have been perfect since. Now the issue we are having is any and every time, and I mean EVERY time, I see my sister, she has to mention how she “nearly died” giving birth. The conversation can be nothing to do with birth or children but she will bring it back to that, and the hardest thing is when myself or another person is trying to vent or even just get something that is bothering them out she spins it back to herself and how she “almost died giving birth”. The final straw was last weekend, myself and my husband went to visit my sister and her husband and the baby and my husband was speaking about the anniversary of his friends passing from a car accident that was coming up and he was upset as this was only the first year since it happened and my sister took this as a moment to say, “i completely understand, I mean I almost died giving birth so I know how aweful that must feeling” I snapped and told her, not everything needs to be about your birth story, we get it, you had a traumatic birth but this isn’t about you and we are tired of you using it in every conversation. It went silent for a second and she got upset saying that I didn’t appreciate how I could have lost her. I got very angry and said of course I appreciate it, I was there I was crying but your okay and baby is okay but what is not okay is you dismissing someone else because you think you had it worse. My brother in law then proceeded to tell everyone to relax and we would go get lunch. We did but the rest of the day was quite awkward. AITA for confronting my sister this way or was I right to tell her to stop?

EDIT
This is something my sister is in therapy for and has been since she gave birth. And myself and my family have even been to appointments with her.
This also wasn’t the first time she was talking over someone else’s grief or trauma to bring up her birth complications

I (20's, F) have a younger sister "Ellie" (11F). Ellie is non-verbal, and communicates entirely through Proloquo (an AAC app) on her tablet.

Lately, when she's slightly inconvenienced, we're fighting, or something just isn't going her way - she presses a button that says "Disaster" and follows it up with "Call 911". She's kind of a drama queen.

Yesterday, she pressed the "Call 911" button in the grocery store while she was inconvenienced. A few people asked if she was alright. Afterwards, I told Ellie that she should stay away from the "Call 911" button in public unless it's an actual emergency.

My mom is mad at me for telling her that. She says that Ellie has the right to use her buttons however she feels and that I shouldn't be discouraging any use.

AITA for telling my sister not to press the button in public unless it's a real emergency? I don't want her to be the "the girl who cried wolf" AAC edition.

I want honest opinions on whether I’m in the wrong here.

I usually park my vehicle in my driveway unless I’m about to leave or need to cut the grass. My driveway is on a hill, and there’s a fence along the side, so I can’t properly cut the grass with my car parked there.
Recently, I needed to cut the grass and take my trash cans down to the curb. I temporarily put the trash cans closer to my neighbor’s walkway so I could park my car next to them and get everything done. I had no intention of leaving them there permanently. I hadn’t even gotten the chance to move everything when my neighbor came outside yelling at me. She was pretty rude about it and said we shouldn’t have anything in front of her house anyway.

I understand that the trash cans were close to her walkway, and I wasn’t planning on leaving them there. I just needed to move things around temporarily to get my yard work done.

Here’s where I might be the petty one. My neighbors recently told us they’re having a tree cut down, and the tree company will want our vehicles moved out of our driveway. Because of how my neighbor treated me and her comment about us not having anything in front of her house, I’m not feeling very motivated to accommodate her.

I’ll be honest, I know I’m acting out of spite at this point because of how she treated me. However, if I move my car out of the driveway for the tree company, there really won’t be anywhere else for me to park besides in front of her house. After her saying we shouldn’t have anything in front of her house, I’m not exactly feeling motivated to make things easier for her. I know it might be petty, so I’m curious what other people think.

A little more to add is that my cans are usually next to my driveway. They go in front of her house a little, because I still need to get out of driveway. I use to park on the street but now go in the driveway since her kid treated to kill my dogs. It’s my way of blocking our backyard.

I, 28M, hosted a dinner for my parents and siblings last weekend. Nothing fancy, just something I'd been planning for a while since we don't get together that often.

My sister has two kids, 4 & 7. When I invited her, I told her I wanted to keep it adults only. She said that was fine and she'd figure something out.

About an hour before everyone was supposed to arrive, she called and said her babysitter had cancelled and she'd have to bring the kids. I told her I'd rather she just skip dinner then.

She got annoyed and said she wasn't going to miss a family dinner because I didn't want my own niece and nephew in my apartment.

The thing is, my place isn't childproofed and the last time they visited, the younge one broke a lamp and skilled juice on my couch. I didn't make a big deal about it then, but I wasn't really interested in repeating that.

Anyway, she ended up saying home. Dinner went fine until my mom asked where she was. I explained what happened and she said I should've made an exception instead of excluding my sister.

My sister hasn't said much to me since, but she did tell our mom that I made her feel like her kids weren't part of the family.

I wasn't trying to exclude anyone. I just wanted one dinner without having to worry about kids running around my apartment.

AITA?

I am pretty much with my niece five days a week. Her father is solely a weekend hero dad, and I help my sister out since I don't work much, kind of soft retired. I work like 8 hours total a week, don't have a partner and a lot of free time so I spend a lot of time with my niece. She calls me her second mommy.

Both her parents have been promising to give her swim lessons for like two years now, they have not. An indoor swimming spot recently opened up in a shopping plaza we pass by everyday after I pick her up from school. She asked if she could go, i said sure let's sign up for some classes.

I did, and now my sister ia upset, and I am like why. She could have done this a million times over, even offered to pay for the classes myself. She said I am taking away moments from her, I asked her when was she going to give her lessons? She will be six in April going to wait another year?

She said she does not have time, to do all the things her daughter wants. I get it, but why get upset when someone with the time is willing to do so?

Then she brought up her how I signed up for the school truck or treat. She has an issue cause she claims I make her look bad. I got confused cause my sister was not going to participate cause she has work but was still going to send my niece. I said that is kind of messed up, and told her daughter asked if we could decorate the car for the day and I said sure why not?

My sister told me to stop just giving her daughter what she wants. I told her i don't, but what exactly is wrong with signing her up for swim classes, or taking part of her school events? If you don't have time or means does that mean she should be forced to wait?

I have the time and means, why is she upset? She said because she is the mother and it is not fair I get more time with her. So i asked her what does she want, should she go to after school program until 7 since that is when you get off?

She said maybe at this point, I don't get what exactly did I do wrong here.

A colleague, that I don’t personally know, posted on a company slack channel saying that a friends had their cat sitter drop out last minute and they needed someone to watch their two cats the coming weekend. I messaged the colleague and said I could do it, she gave me the friend’s phone number. I messaged the “friend”, it was a couple in their late 30s/40s, they asked me if we could have a call that evening to discuss details. We had the call, they explained what needed to be done, including that I would need to stay at their place overnight because the cats don’t like to be left alone. I said that would be fine and that I would like them to reach two days later with all the details in writing. We agreed that I would read the document and confirm that everything was clear. Two days later, the husband reaches out to share the doc and confirm the meeting time. After reading the document, I see that compensation isn’t mentioned anywhere so I politely ask if he had any suggestions/ thoughts. He took offense, said that the fact that I asked about this the night before their trip broke trust and made him uncomfortable leading him to cancel the entire arrangement. During the conversation, I had also said it was fine if he wasn’t prepared to pay and that I would come do it anyway. I am very confused about how trust could be broken between people who don’t have any relationship whatsoever, and how it was on me and me alone to clarify the terms. Am I the asshole for assuming that strangers would not expect me to give up my weekend and stay with their cats for free? Am I the asshole for bringing up the topic “the night before” when I only met them two days ago? I really don’t know how these things work, open to your thoughts.

My husband and I recently moved into our new home with our toddler and newborn. We’ve started setting up our son’s room, got him his first big boy bed and all. I have a whole Pinterest board of things I want to do in his room - full design in my mind. I’ve shared it all with my husband who loves the idea and also when my mother in law asked I told her I’m doing a safari theme with dark blue. I’m currently on maternity leave and working to find balance so I’m very slowly getting design elements in. Truth is I’m in no rush because I want to just get all the right pieces - do it nicely and be done which I’ve also said.
Now, my challenge is my MIL keeps bringing random things in for his room that make no sense in the space. I’ve framed photos but with plastic and plexiglass instead of glass because of course it’s a hazard. She’s brought in random silver, black, brown etc frames with glass (they’re hazardous and don’t go with the theme). She brought in a wallpaper trimming thing with cars on it and insist that we use it - we’ve already said we’re not using wallpaper. Every visit comes with another massive wall art - first Pooh bear, then a bus full of dogs, cars and paw patrol all ranging from 2ft to 5ft!
I explained to my husband how I feel and he confronted her and asked her to stop taking these things in without asking first. She now feels attacked as if she did nothing wrong. I’ve been looking forward to styling my kids rooms and just feel like this opportunity is being taken away from me. AITA?

I’m turning 40 tomorrow. My best friend kinda tipped me off last week by telling me to tell my husband to check his phone…. Which he was drunk so he didn’t. I thought, well they’re planning something for my bday, yay. A couple of days ago I looked at my husband’s phone for something and he said I was going to ruin my surprise. Yay, again. Tell my friend in honesty today that I thought they were planning something. Find out my husband is “horrible” at following through and didn’t message anyone in a time appropriate manner so I did it myself to see if anyone could come to my be dinner tomorrow. No one knew, no one can including my own mom because of prior plans and the only can come is my kids, my husband, my best friend and her kids. AITA for being irked at my husband for not following through? My amazing best friend said she’d do everything including decor and all my husband had to do was invite people.

Side note, my parents were Jehovah Witnesses growing up so I haven’t had a bday party since I was 4 and I was looking forward to a little TLC.

Maybe I’m just being emotional since I’m getting old.

Context: I am more or less, mums primary carer. She has a very rare and aggressive stage III cancer, conventional therapy is not working so she is therefore in palliative care. Her wishes are to keep fighting by joining clinical trials.

She has not eaten for three days, recently almost losing her to sepsis, I was extremely worried about her.
Her palliative care nurse and GP, both said to my brother and I over the phone that we should take her to the ER. Mum was initially refusing to go until she spoke to her GP.

The Drs in ER tried to ~7 times to cannulate her, it was excruciating for mum.
I’ve cried so much today, not eaten or hydrated myself, and have a pounding headache. I told mum when I left that I’d be back shortly but I ended up calling her to apologise and say that I really need sleep. My older brother had already left to do the same thing. In the past, I have spent many nights by her side in the ER. I just can’t tonight.

AITA? I feel so cruel.

So im currently in class right now. For some context, im in college, this is a big lecture class where the professor takes attendance “randomly” (she says its random, but she takes it on thursdays. yk how it goes, theres like 20-30 people who show up and like 30/40 other people that never show up. Its also an 8am class so its super early.

there is groupme for the class. a lot of the time people on the groupme will ask if someone can put their name on the attendance. I usually ignore them because i dont wanna risk getting in trouble for writing a strangers name on the attendance that isnt here.

Well, someone directly requested to message me on groupme, ask if I could personally write their name in attendance. I am so confused because this person is acting like I know them, I do not. Now I feel pressured to do so because they reach out to me specifically, and if I dont respond, I feel like more of an asshole that I wouldve just ignoring the people in the group chat. would i be the asshole if i didnt respond? is there like some unwritten rule that its just courtesy to write down the names of people who arent there if they ask? idk

For medical reasons, I can no longer drink alcohol. I’ve been drinking with my friends for years, and now that I can’t anymore, I honestly don’t know what to do.

Almost all our plans involve alcohol, and I’ve started to feel like they don’t like the fact that I don’t drink like everyone else. The last time we hung out, I didn’t drink, and they told me they didn’t understand why. I could tell they were a little annoyed by it. I also later found out that they’d made plans to hang out again and I wasn’t invited, which made me wonder if it had something to do with me not drinking.

I haven’t told them there’s a medical reason because I feel uncomfortable explaining myself. It’s quite personal, and I don’t really want to go into detail about my health.

I don’t want to lose my friends, but I’m starting to feel like they don’t want to spend time with me if I’m not drinking, especially since all our usual plans revolve around alcohol. At the same time, I’m not willing to put my health at risk just to fit in.

AITA? Do you think explaining the medical reason would make a difference, or should my friends respect my decision not to drink without needing an explanation?

For reference I (18F) live with my mother (50F) in a divorced household where I spend every second weekend with my father. My brother (19M) has moved/ran away/been kicked out of both households multiple times, including to work in different state (in which my mother paid for). He's gotten himself into serious debt towards her and his friends and Is a nicer word for "addicted to w33d", me and my brother have never been close, he has just moved back in and my mum told me to avoid him until things got better. Tonight I decided to decided I would do my mum a favour as she's been 1: working hard all day and 2: very stressed from my brother and his addiction/depression and 3: Im on my "break" (as she calls it but its exam season) so I decided to cook her and I dinner. I have big issues with food and safe foods, she loves pasta (I don't) but I decide to cook a 2 hour long chicken pasta recipe. Im halfway done when my brother comes home and after being rude to me all week smiles saying "that smells nice" which I ignore as he walks past. I test my dinner and decide that its one of my new safe foods as it was *incredible*. Eventually I serve up the chicken pasta leaving some in a container for lunch tomorrow. My mother and I eat it while watching the our show and I make sure to let her know hes not allowed any of my cooking, I explain 1: the logical sense behind how much is left ect and 2: I always had a big issue cooking for my brother, he has told me since i was 11 that "i should get back in the kitchen/make him a sandwhich" "that i belong in the kitchen", he steals my paid for food, hide family size servings of food in his room and convinces me to give/buy/cook him food in return for something that never comes ect ect, the point is I got extremely emotional. Im not sure if its relevant but me and my mother got into a small fight over a laptop charger being missing before bed but we resolved it. At 11pm my brother crashes down the stairs waking everyone up and I hear the microwave go off and just know that hes eating my food, after he goes back to his room I go downstairs to check and there on the counter is the empty uncleaned tub of food residue, literally not a lick left and there was 4 peices of goddamn chicken. anyways - I was so fed up with how he's been treating me that I message him "put it back" in which im met with slurs and harrasment, the storms out onto the ledge of the stairs and screams out "mum did you say i could eat the food?" waking her up in the middle of the night, she knows shes f*cked because shes caught in a crossfire, now i dont totally blame my brother for eating it because she told him he could (as well as other options: microwave meals - his steaks ect), but he knew i didnt want him to eat it. Its more about the fact she couldnt respect me and how i got so emotional infront of her, she eventually texts me back that night apologising but i genuinely couldnt accept it, it happens to often, ive considered moving out, AITA?