r/whatisit • • 9h ago

New, what is it? What is this thing.

13.1k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/overdramaticpan 8h ago edited 3h ago

longhorn beetle! while they look like they were born from hell's pyres, their bites aren't bad at all; it can break the skin, like a crab pinching you, but just put a bandaid on it and you'll be fine if bitten

IMPORTANT EDIT: while largely harmless to humans, many longhorn beetle species are invasive in much of the US; the asian longhorn beetle can kill trees and produce falling branch hazards in forested or rural areas (information courtesy of u/BantedHam, corroborated by the USDA)

1.5k

u/Redd1tRat 8h ago

This is a lie, if you get bitten, within a week you will become one.

825

u/overdramaticpan 8h ago

secretly i'm a longhorn beetle in disguise, ssshhhhh

436

u/yournamehere10bucks 7h ago

92

u/Dr_MineStein_ 4h ago

How is there a perfect gif for literally everything these days

37

u/Bored_Amalgamation 4h ago

America started focusing on entertainment and content creation more than literally everything else for the past few decades.

1

u/WeenieHutJuniorTech 6m ago

You’re welcome

5

u/pixel_inker 4h ago

For real right! LOL!

2

u/yournamehere10bucks 2h ago

To quote BNL: "its all been done, before"

1

u/-pilcrow- 52m ago

Well this looks less long horned and more short horned so idk if I’d call it perfect but yes I do agree

160

u/MNgrown2299 7h ago

Craaaab people, craaaab people. Looks like people, really crabbbbb people.

190

u/Inside-Judgment-725 7h ago

4

u/NekoDarkLink1988 6h ago

All hail our new found leaders!

2

u/lisa_is_chi 3h ago

Casey Rocket!! 🦀

3

u/THENATIVE54 6h ago

🤣🤣🤣

4

u/MajorSerenity 7h ago

Move like crab, talk like people.

5

u/Odd-Consequence-2519 6h ago

I got the moves like Crabber.
I got the moves like Crabber.
I got the moo ooo ooo ooo oooves.

38

u/ModernCGIFloatinHead 7h ago

Look like crab, talk like people 

Craaaab people, craaaab people 

5

u/MNgrown2299 7h ago

lol thank you! I knew I was messing it up but couldn’t be bothered to check

8

u/DinosaurusWhen 7h ago

Its been so long that I thought it was "looks like crab, tastes like people"

8

u/ModernCGIFloatinHead 7h ago

According to Google we all have it wrong 

Taste like crab, talk like people

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u/DinosaurusWhen 6h ago

I guess it's time for a rewatch. aaaaafter another round of Archer 

2

u/Llamaaa_scarf 6h ago

Wahhhh I could have sworn it was looks like crab all these years!! I heard the chant in my head immediately 🦀🦀🦀

1

u/ModernCGIFloatinHead 6h ago

You and me both. It just makes sense. 🤷

2

u/Acceptable_Guess_63 6h ago

The almighty google is right again.

2

u/more-cilantro 5h ago

Craaaab people, craaaab people,

Look like crab, kiss like people 

(South Park: The Fractured But Whole)

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u/ModernCGIFloatinHead 5h ago

That title gets me Everytime 

They wanted to call it the butthole of truth or something similar, but weren't allowed to have butthole in the title. 

So they fractured it. 

2

u/more-cilantro 4h ago

The end result turned out beautiful lol

10

u/Objective_Damage_996 7h ago

My dad had me singing this at like 6 years old and it embarrassed other adults I knew

2

u/DeepFinish2895 7h ago

Everything turns into crabs

1

u/adnyp 5h ago

If you put on the special glasses you can see what they truly are.

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u/WanderlustStew 7h ago

So you are who they based the movie Mimic about. I knew it was real!

2

u/Arrius 7h ago

Is it a good disguise or do your antennae hang out?

1

u/Bluejay1981 6h ago

If he arranges them right, he might get more dates from. chicks and more respect from dudes, you know, like John Travolta did in Grease? (please please please don’t let him say that he wasn’t born yet!)

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u/animauux 6h ago

Sounds like something a longhorn beetle would say....

1

u/prison-schism 6h ago

Yeah, just trying to recruit unsuspecting youngsters, right???

1

u/Infinite-Pea199 6h ago

😂😂😂