Ok so I (17) female think I have a mental issues or something, I keep having “gore” thoughts like I’ve actually started looking into ways to to like go through with it but the thing is I’ve been telling people about it and they think im joking although I’ve never joked about it and I get this certain urge to look up unblurred “gore” videos and just watch them with a straight face not sure if that necessarily means anything i just really wanted to post on here so ill always know at least somebody listened even if it’s too late. Ps, Ive already been doing sh since I was 13

just found out im going to spend Christmas ALONE :D might have found the perfect day to go thought with it actually

TLDR at the bottom!

I (25m) i’m trying to break up with my girlfriend (25f) of nearly 3 years and I’m pretty hung up on what to do with the car. For some context, I am breaking up with my girlfriend of almost three years because I have been unable to maintain some level of peace and just be able to keep some level of intimacy consistently within our lives without her having some sort of reasoning behind why she doesn’t want to do certain things or not argue with me about small things daily. I have always been the kind of man that tries to be considerate about invisible labor, making sure she doesn’t work too hard for anything financial related, and I’ve always been the kind of man that has a decent emotional understanding of myself and the people around me, and have been in therapy through my own accord, just because I thought it was a good idea, not because I necessarily thought I needed it. I always made sure she was never without anything she needed as she navigates school currently, her upcoming career as a model, and I was a family man to her whole household whom I admittedly have little respect for because of how much physical and financial load they leave on her which in turn always left me with more work to make sure she was good but I digress.

We have broken up in the past because I didn’t really appreciate how she would belittle me and my manhood in situations that I think were uncalled for. For example, when we broke up the first time, I left because she had the audacity to call me less of a man when I didn’t have the capacity for her to tell me about what other women are receiving from their men (referring to tiktok personalities not anyone she knows in real life) instead of just asking me or telling me what it is that she would want. at the time she had made these kinds comments seemingly out of nowhere , we had just come back from a surprise birthday trip for her to Mexico in which I paid for everything and two months prior I had given her a car to be able to use, to be able to do everything that she needed for the day as she often had a lot on her plate as the oldest daughter in her family who basically ran the entire household. I put myself in a 2006 and gave her my 2011 Hyundai Sonata. It had all the bells and whistles that she wanted, and I figured that it would be good for her to use until I could eventually upgrade her. Due to some misfortune, I got T-boned in the 2006 hoopty I bought and eventually took the money I got from insurance to try to put down on a 2018 Corolla, which I ended up paying off by working a lot of hours within six months, cause I didn’t wanna have debt.

Fast forward about a month after me paying off the 2018 corolla, the 2011 I gifted her the transmission slips for what would be the second time in its lifetime, and I didn’t wanna pour any more money into it, so I decided to put her in the 2018 Corolla with the caveat that I would rather save her money on the side to give to her for her to buy her own vehicle rather than me ever put this car in her name, unless of course we’re to get married. I ended up getting a 2018 Acura. but that really doesn’t matter. I told her this approximately 6 months ago. Now im basically on my way out as it has been 3 weeks since I told her im tired of expressing myself and nothing changing and I want to end things for good.

Right now, I’m trying to figure out if I should let her keep the vehicle ( which I’m not too keen on), selling and keeping all of the money, or selling the vehicle and giving her pretty much half to be able to do what she wants, because I don’t feel good as the kind of man who took care of a lot of the finances as a unit we dealt with, and all of a sudden, leaving her with no vehicle and no help.

Any tips?

TLDR;

Breaking up with my soon to be ex, I have a second vehicle that she used daily. I had essentially told her that I would try to help her save money to help her get her own car instead of letting her have that one if something ever happened to us as a unit (meaning if we ever broke up again). She wants me to just give her the car. I would rather sell the car and give her some of that money.

What should I do?

*tw- SA

throwaway because my main account is too public

Heyy y'all, this is gonna be a long one, so please bear with me.

This is also an actively unfolding situation, so I'll update again once we all have the chance to talk. But ok, here we go::

This story involves me 29F, my fiance (Ed, 27M), 2 of our very close friends (Iris, 18F and Will, 20M), and an ex-coworker (Rick, 39M). Last night, Iris called me and Ed on her way home from work and asked if she could come over to our apartment because she had just gotten some really upsetting news at work. (context: Until recently, I worked with her, Will, and Rick). She came over and preceded to drop a bombshell that is going to completely alter the dynamic of our friend group.

Sidenote for clarity, Will is 6'5", about 300 lbs, very gay, and has an incredibly sexual sense of humor, as well as no respect for physical boundaries. We have had to tell him on numerous occasions in our group to watch what he says and does, and that he can't just walk up and "lay" on people, and he says he's been "working on it". We have often laughed it off saying "Oh that's just Will", but in hindsight, yes, I realize this has definitely contributed to the current problem. His last day at their job was this past Monday. Also, he knows Rick is not gay.

On Monday night, him and Rick were working together, when Will, allegedly purposely started rubbing a box against the front of Rick's pants. When Rick made it clear that it was making him uncomfortable, Will said it was just a joke and stopped. Later on, Will allegedly put his hand on and near Rick's crotch, rubbing and squeezing his upper thighs. I only say "allegedly" because this is a second-hand account of what happened, and I have not yet talked to Rick or Will personally. I am in no way blaming or questioning Rick's accusations, nor am I letting Will off the hook in any way. Iris is going to be discussing it more in detail with Rick the next time she sees him at work.

some backstory: Iris, Ed, and I have all been seggsually asuulted to varying degrees at different points in our lives. Will knows this. We have all always been a very close-knit group and have shared a lot about our past trauma. Iris and Will have also been friends since high school, so this was a very devastating thing for her to hear, especially being one of the few men she trusts.

After a long conversation, Iris, Ed, and I have decided that we need to confront Will as soon as we have more details from Rick.

And this is where I'm stuck. I don't want to believe that one of my best friends is capable of something that has traumatized soo many people.

I don't want to think that a man that I have laid on the kitchen floor with at 2am talking about life and sharing secrets could hurt someone so badly.

But Rick has no reason to lie. And I have no reason not to believe him. And now all of the little yellow flags in Will's past have now become red and glaring.

How do we start this conversation?

Hello,
The problem is that she practices scarification and cannot stop, despite me sending kind messages to check on her and hugging her daily. Every three or four days, she returns only by message to discuss it, and I cannot find a way to break this cycle of her doing it.. and she doesn’t want anyone to know, only one of her friends knows about it too.

Sorry if my English is not ideal, it is not my primary language. And please, refrain from saying to dump her, or to leave her alone with it, she talked about stopping, I’m just trying to help, and we have been together for 6 months but smh only got the information a month ago.

Thanks for any tips

If anyone else is going through something similar or is open to connecting about this, feel free to reach out. Looking for understanding more than anything.

Hi everyone. This is going to be a long one unfortunately, so I apologize in advance. I just want to give as much context as possible.

I’m (F21.) I used to work with a girl (F24) for a year. I was 17 at the time and she was 20 I believe lol I may be a little off with her age.

We were very close in person, though we didn’t text as frequently. We hung out a few times. The connection I felt was legitimately electric. We were shy with each other and caught each other looking when the other wasn’t constantly. Genuinely blushing and stumbling over words. She was always trying to make me laugh and was always complimenting me. I understand most of these things could also be taken as simply being kind, but it just felt different. I have never felt so strongly about anyone in my life.

Then she went away to college. She was dorming about two hours away. We sobbed at the end of her last day at work. We hugged for a long time. We texted even less once she was gone. But my feelings never faded.

She reached out one day to ask me to choose a name for my character in a story she was writing for a class. A story in which my character was meant to be some sort of apparition who was also the lover to the main character. She promised to send the completed story to me once she was done.

Months later I made the grave mistake of sending her a tipsy text expressing my feelings. Nothing intense, nothing long, just a short message saying how I missed her and how I felt.

She sent me a paragraph back. It wouldn’t be fair to me or her considering she is far away and we would only get to see each other on her breaks, but I’m wonderful, yada yada. Very kindly rejecting me.

I don’t remember if I responded to her or not. Though we haven’t talked since that day. It’s been years. I’ve been in relationships. I’ve tried everything to forget. I can’t. I never got to read her finished story. I never got to see her again. It kills me.

I don’t know what else to do. I’ve never met another person that’s made me feel how she did. I’ve never thought about anyone as much as her. I don’t know if I’m crazy or what lol. She graduated this year. I got my dream job. So much has changed and yet my feelings for her haven’t.

What do I do?

title, essentially. I lost it somewhere, in the school and don’t know how to find it. My best guess is that it’s probably outside, but I didn’t have a lot of stuff in it. I was keeping it in my jacket pocket (it’s a palm sized) with the zipper closed but when I checked later it was gone? I didn’t intend to trade or do anything at school but I have this after school place I go to and was going to do some stuff there. The thing is, I know most would take it and I don’t know how to search for it. Any advice?

I know it was stupid of me, especially because I lose things often but I’m not looking to hear “you shouldn’t have had it at school” because I already happened, lesson learned, I just wanna find it cause I’m gonna cry. Most of my good stuff was in there, which, again, was stupid of me- but I’ll learn or something.

Extra info:

- I had it during a recess (outside) and then after that I don’t recall having it
- this happened today afternoon, around 3
- I wasn’t able to search for it
- I’m in Canada
- some of the cards were special to me but not particularly valuable (the others were tho)
- they are secured in a binder so if I find that I’ll be able to get most
- there are children at my school who I know would take it and keep it
- there is a school server that I might be able to look for it in

that’s pretty much the whole situation. It not that big of a deal but for me it’s more of the sentimental value, as many I’ve had for a while now. Thanks, bye.

Me (26F) and my boyfriend (29M) have been together for more than 3 years, and I’ve started noticing a pattern whenever we go out.

He’ll be looking at me while I’m talking, but suddenly his eyes will shift away and then back to mine. Eventually, I realised this often happens when a woman walks past us. Initially, I ignored it, thinking I was overthinking, but it started happening on almost every date. When I brought it up, he got defensive and said he was just looking around at his surroundings.

On our last date, I caught him staring at a woman wearing a low-cut top and finally told him how embarrassing it feels to be out with someone whose eyes seem to wander towards other women even when I’m right there.

That’s when he admitted, after 3years together, that he has a weird obsession with boobs and finds it difficult to look away, even when he’s with me. He said he wasn’t sure he could stop and suggested we break up so he wouldn’t keep embarrassing me.(appreciate the honesty)

Now I genuinely want to understand a few things.
Men of Reddit:
● Is this something most men experience, or is it specific to him?
● Do you consciously control where you look when you’re with your partner?
● If you’ve struggled with this, have you been able to change your behaviour?

Women of Reddit:
● Have you experienced this with your partners?
● Did it bother you, or did you consider it normal?
● If you confronted your partner, did anything change?

I understand that being in a relationship doesn’t make you blind to other attractive people. I’m not expecting that.
I’m trying to understand the difference between naturally noticing someone and repeatedly looking at other women’s bodies when you’re out with your girlfriend.
Is this just how men are, or does self-control and consideration for your partner come into it? I’d genuinely appreciate honest perspectives from both sides.

For context, this is my best friend since high school (her messages are the gray) is trying to help me switch the insurance company to Allstate because I’m paying 250 every month for the car note; I’m 23F living with my mom, my car title is in her name and we’re both on the insurance as well as my brother and his wife (they live in their little house that looks like one of those buildings at Home Depot) his wife is pregnant with their baby, my brother works for a company that pays him either $39,100 and $55,000 yearly or around that range and he’s also trying to build a business as well. I am not sure if his careers or anything else has changed but that’s what I overheard during a conversation between him and another family member, my mom has her own company where she goes to houses that are either freshly built or houses that already have homeowners, her workers clean those houses (one of those workers is my boyfriend 24M, he’s only being paid a $100 for every house he cleans) and the windows to make it look like it was just built, however a couple of months ago we found out she has cancer in her lungs and a tumor in her brain. My car is the only car that runs besides my mom’s work truck, which her workers use to drive to the houses that they do and my brothers truck, which he also uses to drive to work and back (there is another truck that’s in my moms name) but it doesn’t run currently. I’m currently looking for a new job because months ago, I was taking care of my grandmother and helping her with her needs as well as her medicine before she passed away, I was getting paid by my uncles and my mom for taking care of her but it really didn’t matter to me that I was being paid because I got to spend time with her before she passed. I was paying my car note and other things that needed to be paid with the money that I was making, which is 250 for the car note and 300 for the other things at the end of every month. I was being paid every week but now me and my boyfriend are in a financial situation where he’s not making enough money from working with my mom and I’m unemployed with seizures but I have my drivers licenses and I’m medically okay to drive and work as well as being medicated, and my brothers wife uses my car every now and then to go to places (she had a car years ago but she sold it to start a streaming thing that she is no longer pursuing that costed $100s just for the equipment) however me and her are not on speaking terms, more so me not talking to her as well as my mom and her are also not on speaking terms (you can see why based off of the messages referring to her) but I just need help or advice on what to do or how to handle this situation that’s involving my car.

EDITED FOR INFO: I live in Houston, tx

(I uploaded this without putting a community tag thing, so I deleted it and uploaded it again just incase. I don’t really know how this app works all too well)

Please give me good honest advice about how to deal with this situation.

Llevo casi 10 años con mi pareja, de los cuales vamos un año de casados. Considero que tengo una buena relación con mis suegros, mis cuñados y en general toda su familia. Nunca se han metido en mi relación y son una familia muy amorosa. Sin embargo, por más que intento compartir con ellos, no logro conectar. Cuando mi esposo dice que debemos pasar tiempo con ellos, me suena al plan más aburrido del mundo. No tenemos temas ni nada en común, por lo que las conversaciones terminan siendo banales (cosa que odio son las conversaciones superficiales). Yo siento que a ellos les pasa lo mismo y no estan al 100% cómodos conmigo porque siempre hacen como que todo está bien y evitan cualquier discusión entre ellos cuando yo estoy presente, aún cuando sé que hay temas familiares pasando. Evitan que yo ayude en la casa y me tratan como si fuera la misma reina Isabel encarnada, lo cual a veces me hace sentir incómoda. Esto es algo que también le he dicho a mi esposo, él dice que simplemente no hemos convivido lo suficiente. Pero, qué mas que 10 años?

Sé que venimos de contextos sociales y económicos diferentes, no sé hasta dónde esto afecte. Pero ellos siempre han resaltado que les gusta mucho mi humildad y yo nunca he tenido problema con esto. No sé si vaya a ser así el resto de mi vida, pero me entristece no tener una relación más cercana. Supongo que debo conformarme con solo tener una relación cordial.

Quick overview of the background info. I was pregnant with my exes kid, he ended up helping pay for the abortion, he also got me snacks and s heating pad. But he was very emotionally absent. He would constantly tell me that he couldn’t bring himself to care, that the situation didn’t phase him, and that if i k*lled myself or harmed myself he wouldn’t care. I did the bad decision of taking it to my private instagram story and told everyone and basically slandered his name. Everyone found it distasteful and cut me off basically.

I started to spiral, i believed that everyone was on his side and all the things he said to me was him basically saying things others wanted to say to me but were scared; basically i thought he was speaking for the people. I kind of got into psychosis, because i believed my whole life that god was trying to test me and give me all these bad situations to see if i endure it or just end it, so i had thought that god sent him to test me again. I wrote all my friends goodbye letters at like midnight, and than wrote him a thank you basically saying “thank you for being a test subject for god, etc, and i know god is watching me right now and i want to show him a couldnt endure it anymore, etc”

As i carry on with my attempt, then like 3 cop cars and an ambulance show up. As im getting in ambulance on my way to the hospital, i saw he called me over 30 times, texted me on every platform, texted my friend, and was just spamming my phone. I blocked him afterwards.

I called my friend in the hospital and he told me all about the conversations him and my ex we’re having and how my ex was asking for info and seeing whether i’m okay. I then called my ex afterwards and told him i don’t want anything to do with him or how friends and no one should contact me. He then kept going on about how be just wants to make sure I’m okay and how he should be the exception (like his friends/mutual friends have no contact but he be able to have contact) i didn’t say anything but i just hung up.

He has still tried to reach out, i can still see messages from blocked people on my iPad.

Should i keep in contact with him since he saved me or should i stand with my original wants of no contact?

Pretty straightforward, I lost my partners trust. I know how patient one must be to rebuild it. I have been the one to have to rebuild trust for others, however I am more open to giving people the benefit of the doubt and hearing others out.

I lost my partners trust about lying about another guy before we were together. My partner was in my life and we were hooking up, butttt he did not want a relationship...

Anyways, I have noticed every time my partner asks me a question, especially about another guy, he just believes I am lying. I have never cheated and never gave him a reason to think otherwise, besides this.

For example, I recently got into a boba job, where I work with another guy 4-5x a week, but we literally don't speak throughout the shift just because we just don't talk? Idk. Anyways, I told him this and I even explained the type of work related questions and gave him an example. He always just replies with "right". I never even know how to reply to this. Am I overdoing it by explaining everything? How do I gain his trust back if I am being honest, but he just won't believe it? I know he has to be willing to even try to trust me.

Not really looking to hear about how he is insecure or anything related... I already know.

I literally have no where on earth to go. I can’t go to my parents’ house. They moved to a new house spring of 2025 and it is not my childhood home and I have no happy memories there and I don’t like it there. Plus the city where I am now and in college at is more fun than the city where I grew up so every time I go to the city where I grew up, I am immediately itching to go back to my college city. I can’t go out. I can’t go out into the city. I can’t go out of town and I cannot go out of the country. Every where I go, my problems follow me and torment me. I can’t go home (my college). I feel unloved, unvalued, unappreciated, and unwanted by everyone. People say I am loved, wanted, valued, appreciated at my college but I see no signs. I don’t get invited to weddings by my so called friends and there are no pictures of me in the college’s newspapers or social media pages and I don’t even get student service positions at my college’s big important events. If I am loved, valued, wanted, appreciated by my friends and my college, how am I to know without all of what I mentioned I don’t have?

Think about the property value, they said

Pictures in chronological order.

first house, should’ve hung plastic, just over half way done, hoping to be done by Saturday or Sunday, but I have no idea how I’m supposed to clean this up the only room it’s safe is my bedroom damp rag just spreads it around for the most part and it’s gonna get a lot worse once I start to sand my final coat

21m any advice welcome

I ended things between me and this guy, he basically cried, but we parted ways amicably.
We were only together for 4 months, never said I love you’s, he was still pretty guarded with me until we broke up, the tears surprised me.

He tried to be friendly with me in the beginning after the breakup; seemed happy whenever we ran into each other the first few times (mutual friends) but I could tell something was off, cause he would stare at me so much.

After he sent me a ‘can I have another kiss’ text. I turned him down kindly, and it’s been no contact.

We have each other on social media still, because we wanted to remain cordial with each other. I noticed he’s been posting angry music.
Music about going to the ‘dark side’ ‘losing humanity’ type songs.
The lyrics are alarming bc it’s like ‘I don’t care anymore’.

He’s had a rough life, so I am worried. I’m not trying to get him back, I care about him.
Should I reach out, or would that just do more damage?

I am a 34yrs old (m), and am currently in a long term rehabilitation program that is DOC sponsored. I have been clean for a little over 18 months... Let me start this post with that. I am in the final stages of this program, where I have found employment. I was ecstatic to find this job, begin work, and about getting closer to being able to graduate the program and get on with my life, as I was sentenced to complete this program as a condition of my probation...

However, for the past week, I have finally realized a couple of things that have left me completely depressed. Let me start by saying I haven't had a significant relationship with a woman in over 8 years. I was homeless for about 5 years during the heaviest stretches of my addiction, and completely burned every bridge I had and isolated myself from everyone, including women or any sort of romantic relationship or even healthy friendships with guys.

This last week at work, I have realized while watching my coworkers communicate at work and generally just in my attempts to join in that I am sorely lacking the ability to just socialize normally. For instance, I have several decent looking women I work with, that I would love to get to know better, but literally can't find any courage to ask their numbers or make the conversations flow in a manner where I'd be able to get past just simply greeting them or briefly shooting the shit.

I feel crippled as far as my social skills are concerned and am so out of practice interacting with the opposite sex that I am beginning to get truly scared of being alone for the rest of my life...

I know that I am a good person, and am not that bad looking. I also know and have confidence in the positive points to myself, but I have become so scarred by various events in my past and events that happened when I was on the streets, that I feel like all of my courage to act when it counts has dried up...

This has me just feeling beyond down at this point. I am surrounded by chain gang guys at this facility and don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. I know I just need to say fuck it and ask one of the girls I am interested in's number, but really feel like I am hitting some kind of mental block, from all the years I completely isolated myself...

Reading back over this post, I honestly feel nothing but shame about this problem, seeing it as childish that it is such a big deal to me.

My mind is so scrambled...

But yeah, I've literally not had even a female friend in around 7 to 8 years, and am dealing with what I said earlier in the post. I feel so out of practice communicating with the opposite sex it is scary. Also, I am beyond intimacy starved from this. It's beyond lonely and scary...

What would you do in my situation to overcome it.with my kind of past.

Me F18 and my boyfriend M18 have been together for nearly two years. We got together when we were both 17, and we’ve been close for around seven years in total. I really need some advice because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

For the first seven months of our relationship, I went to his house every day. Eventually, I had to move house, which left me living around an hour away. Despite the distance, I still went to see him every weekend. His mum refused to let him come to mine because she thought it was “too dangerous” for him to get the train, so for a while, I was always the one travelling. Eventually, he convinced her to let him come to mine, and we started taking turns visiting each other.

Everything changed one day when he was supposed to come to mine and his mum suddenly said no. He kept asking her, then disappeared for around two hours. When he came back, I received a really vague, horrible breakup text. I later found out that his mum had written it while pretending to be him.

She then took his phone, blocked me on everything and started impersonating him online, posting pictures of him and saying he was single. Whenever he managed to get his phone back, he would delete the posts and unblock me, only for her to take his phone away again, sometimes for weeks at a time. His mum has repeatedly removed every trace of me from his social media, including blocking me, deleting my name from his bios and making it look as though we were no longer together. This has happened so many times that I’ve lost count.

This went on for SEVEN MONTHS. Sometimes, I would go an entire month without hearing from him. Other times, he would contact me using someone else’s phone, even if it was only for a few minutes. He would tell me he loved me, ask me not to move on and say he wanted to make things work. His boss even used to secretly bring him to my house so we could see each other, but this was only possible about once a month. At one point, we even started communicating through PlayStation, but when his parents found out, they took away his TV and PlayStation too.

His dad would threaten to beat him if he ever mentioned my name. The worst part is that I’ve genuinely done nothing to deserve this treatment. I’ve always been nice to his family, looked after his younger siblings and spent time with them almost every day when I lived closer.

The situation took a massive toll on my boyfriend’s mental health. He became severely depressed, stopped eating and sleeping properly, and experienced suicidal thoughts. He eventually lost his job because of his mental health struggles.

A few weeks before his 18th birthday, his parents caught him talking to me again and took his phone away. His dad eventually contacted me from his phone, saying he would speak to his mum about letting us communicate. Since then, we’ve been able to talk more consistently, but his mum still refuses to let him see me anywhere other than near his house. I’ve gone there sometimes, but it’s a long journey for me, and I don’t think it’s fair that I’m always expected to make the effort.

He’s now 18, works, pays rent and has repeatedly tried explaining to his parents that he should be allowed to make his own decisions. He’s getting close to turning 19, and I’m turning 19 next month, yet his parents still treat our relationship as though we have no right to make our own choices. They refuse to listen to him.

Recently, he texted them saying he was going to stay at a friend’s house for a few days because he needed some space to think. His mum sent his dad to collect him, and I didn’t hear anything for around two hours. Then, once again, I received a breakup message from his mum pretending to be him.

Shortly afterwards, he managed to message me from a friend’s phone. He told me his parents had taken his phone, which he bought with his own money, and that they were threatening to smash it. His dad had also threatened to beat him if he ever left the house again.

His mum has since blocked me on all his social media accounts and removed my name from his bios. I haven’t heard from him in three days, and I have no idea what’s happening.

One thing I want to make clear is that our relationship itself has never been the problem. We have an incredibly intense relationship, but we’ve never had issues with each other. We’ve always loved each other a lot, and neither of us has ever wanted to be apart. Whenever we’ve been able to speak, it’s been clear that we both want to be together. Being apart makes us both miserable, and it’s heartbreaking knowing that the main thing keeping us apart is his family rather than anything happening between us.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I have BPD, and the thought of going through another breakup like this, especially knowing it’s not what he wants, is incredibly difficult for me. The previous seven months completely broke me emotionally, and I’m terrified of going through that again.

I love him so much, and I know he loves me too. We’ve known each other for seven years, and I don’t want to throw away our relationship because of his parents. At the same time, I can’t keep putting myself through this cycle of being together, being broken up with by his mum, having no contact for weeks and then getting back in touch again.

I can’t keep sacrificing my own mental health while waiting for things to change. It’s like staying loyal and loving someone who can never be there.

Should I give him more time to find a way out of this situation, especially now that we’re both adults, or do I need to accept that, regardless of how much we love each other, this relationship isn’t healthy for me anymore?

I struggle with the thought of leaving because I know how much we love each other, how long we’ve known each other and how happy we were before all of this started. It feels so unfair to have to consider ending a relationship that neither of us has ever really wanted to end. But I’m also scared of wasting more time waiting for a situation that might never change.

I’m sorry this is so long. This is honestly just the tip of the iceberg, and there’s so much more that has happened that I haven’t even included. I just really need some outside perspective because I’m struggling to know what’s best for me anymore.

Edit : I know some people might think that he’s the one doing all of this or that he’s using his mum as an excuse, but I genuinely know that it’s her. When she first broke up with me while pretending to be him, she also messaged my mum about it. I can tell the difference between the way his mum types and the way he does. And she has also done this with his brother’s girlfriends but not to this extent because he just ends up breaking up with them instead of fighting for his relationships.

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly two years and have always had a loving relationship, but his mum constantly interferes, impersonates him to break up with me, takes his phone and removes me from his social media. His dad has threatened to beat him for seeing me. We’re both nearly 19, but his parents still control our relationship. I haven’t heard from him in three days after his mum broke up with me on his behalf again. I have BPD, and this situation has seriously affected my mental health. We love each other and don’t want to be apart, but I don’t know whether to keep fighting or let go for my own wellbeing.

I'm looking for some outside perspectives because I feel a little lost about what to do with the next several months of my life and would love to hear from people who have been in a similar position.

I recently graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology, but I've been working with kids and in the helping professions for almost three years already. Most of that experience has been in case management and related roles in the nonprofit and social services worlds. I've worked hard to build up my experience and professional references, and I generally know what this field looks like beyond just what I've learned in school.

After leaving my previous nonprofit job, I'm now substitute teaching and working as a behavioral interventionist (BI). Both are new experiences for me, and they're quite different from the case management work I've primarily done over the past few years.

I'm having a hard time figuring out whether I should stick with these jobs or take my dissatisfaction as a sign that I need to do something different.

With subbing, I appreciate the flexibility and enjoy being in the classroom. Certain aspects of working with kids, but the day-to-day experience can be unpredictable and is not consistent enough to pay the bills. With BI, I like working one-on-one with kids and the idea of helping them build skills, but the actual position has been different from what I expected based on the training. There's more preparation, documentation, driving, and responsibility than I anticipated, and I still sometimes feel uncertain about what I'm doing. My supervisor has reassured me that I'm doing really well for a first-time BI, so I don't think this is simply a matter of being bad at the job. I'm just not sure how I feel about the work itself yet.

The confusing part is that I dread going to work before almost every shift, but once I'm actually there, I generally feel better. I can't tell whether I'm still adjusting to two new jobs, whether the anticipation and preparation are what's exhausting me, or whether I'm realizing that these particular jobs aren't a good fit. I've been subbing for a month and a half and have only been a BI for two weeks.

What makes this harder is that I'm really missing my previous nonprofit job. That job absolutely burned me out at times and ultimately involved moving to another state for three months, so I'm not romanticizing it as a perfect workplace. But, looking back, I genuinely loved the mission, the people, the amount of autonomy I had, and the opportunities to build things and help people in ways I felt were most useful. There were also opportunities for travel and a real sense of purpose. Despite the difficult parts, I felt connected to what I was doing.

I'm starting to wonder whether I miss that particular job or whether I miss the kind of work environment where I felt more invested in the mission and had the freedom to make things happen.

My current plan is to leave whatever job I'm working before the summer because I'd like to get a summer camp job, travel, and have some fun before the next chapter of my life. I'm planning to take about two years before returning to school for another bachelor's degree and eventually a master's. During that time, I want to save money for a new car, keep building my savings, and have experiences while I'm young so I'm not so boring.

So realistically, I'm trying to decide whether I should just stick out my current jobs until May, knowing there's an end date in sight, or make a change sooner.

Both jobs are relevant to my degree and look good on my résumé. I've put a lot of effort into building professional relationships and good references, and I live in a smaller area where I don't want to burn bridges. I also don't want my résumé to become a random collection of short-term jobs. At the same time, I don't want to spend the next several months miserable just because the experience might look good on paper.

I'm not necessarily looking to leave the helping professions. I still care about the work. I'm just questioning whether these particular roles are right for me and whether I should be using this period of my life to explore other opportunities.

For those of you with experience in social services, nonprofit work, or the early stages of your career, I'd love your perspective:

• Should I stick it out for the references and to have a variety of experince on my resume?
• Do I quit and just do the fun things unrelated to my career for the next two years?
• In general, what should I do?

I know no job is going to be perfect, and I'm not expecting to love every minute of working. I'm genuinely trying to figure out whether this is a situation where I need to give myself more time to adjust or whether my reluctance is telling me something important.

I'd appreciate honest advice from people who've been in a similar position.

right now one of my exes is homeless and struggling with severe paranoia, delusions, depression, suicidal ideation, etc… most of his stuff and pet were just stolen from him, allegedly by the person he used to be living with temporarily. We were on ok terms before he became paranoid again and blocked me. He lives in another state than me and idk his exact whereabouts. I want to help but I don’t know how or if I’m able to do anything or if I should just let it go…