I feel like sharing this. There’s a guy at my workplace who’s usually one of the first people to arrive every morning after my hr head. Nothing extraordinary about him. We’re friendly, but we’re not close enough to hang out outside work.
For about a week I noticed he had stopped joining us for tea during break. He’d just say he had something to finish and stay at his desk.
Then one evening, I was leaving the office when I noticed he was still sitting in the parking area in his car and he was just staring straight ahead.
I walked back and knocked on his window. He rolled it down and immediately smiled asking if I’d forgotten something. I asked him if everything was okay.
He said yes.
I stood there for a few seconds, then asked again. Not in a dramatic way. Just, “You haven’t seemed like yourself lately.”
His smile disappeared.
He told me he’d been sitting there for almost an hour because he couldn’t bring himself to go home. His father had recently lost his job, his younger sister’s college fees were due, and he had become the only person in the family earning a steady income. He hadn’t told anyone at work because he was afraid people would start looking at him differently.
Then he said something I still think about.
“I spend the whole day pretending everything is normal. When I get home, everyone expects me to have a solution. Sometimes I just need ten minutes where nobody needs anything from me.”
I honestly didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t give him a motivational speech or tell him everything would work out. I just asked if he wanted some tea. We went to a small shop nearby and sat there for about half an hour. We talked about work, cricket, and completely random things. He didn’t bring up his problems again, and neither did I.
Before leaving, he thanked me for coming back.
It’s been a few weeks since then. He’s started joining us for tea again. I don’t know if his situation has improved, and I haven’t pushed him to tell me.
But now, whenever someone who’s usually cheerful suddenly goes quiet I try not to assume they’re just being moody or antisocial.
Sometimes people aren’t looking for someone to solve their problems. They just need a little space where they don’t have to pretend they’re okay.
I keep thinking about how easily I could have just walked away that evening. And how close I came to doing exactly that.
Have you ever had someone notice you weren’t okay when you were trying your hardest to hide it?

My mum Evita Sarma is missing in Tibet after the flood on the 26/08/2026 and i cannot get any solid information from China.

Before you start commenting condolences - 1st I still hope that she is rescued but unable to contact, 2nd I am asking for advice on what else can I do.

facts about what we know:

• She was right on the Gyron port (Tibet side, possibly parking lot / shop area) when the flood hit.
• She was traveling from Nepal To Tibet
• last contact about 2-5 min before the flood hit the border
• she is on official missing person lists
• we are Latvian Citizens
• Nepal has rescue works
• China allegedly still are conducting search and Rescue works
• port area area has been exclusively Chinese rescue zone from day 4 or 5
• last information from China was on 7th of September

What I have done / contacted:

• gave DNA sample
• Reported to Latvian goverment
• regularly contacting Latvian MFA
• Contacting Latvian Embassy in China
• Contacting Chinese Embassy in Latvia
• wrote an email to Red Cross (China, Nepal, India)
• contacted Xizang family hotline
• reached out to doctors with no borders
• monitoring the news
• volunteered (but got denied) to help in rescue work
• volunteered (but got denied) to help as first aid

Question is what else can i do?

My mum is the dearest, most important and only person for me and I am ready to do literally anything to help, but I just am no longer sure what is there left.

The Chinese government is saying that they will give all the rescued people, found bodies and identified belongings to correct Embassies once all the rescue work has finished. but I'm trying to get information sooner.

I do not have contacts (outside official channels) of anyone in Tibet / China, same as I have not been successful of finding any news / information shared in Tibet / China about this situation.

I am the type of person who needs to do / help my self and cannot just sit and wait. so please, if You have any ideas on who to contact / what to do please post (no matter how small or silly it might seam).

I’m 19 and still live with my mom at home as i commute to uni rather than living out. I regret this a little as she’s a bit strict so i usually hide things in the back of my cupboard. I currently had an old laptop (she didn’t know i got a new one), takeaway bags and a toy all hidden in my two different wardrobes. I brought a new laptop as my old one was breaking down and she’s a single mother so rather than asking her i just got a new one myself. I got him from uni today to see all the takeaway bags and laptop on my bed. She questioned me about them and told me i shouldve told her. She didn’t bring up the vibrator but it’s gone. It’s extremely awkward now as i can tell we both know about it. This is the first time she’s really found something like this and she was quite trusting before. I’m scared she’ll start letting me go out less because of this and i have concert tickets booked which i haven’t told her about yet because i was waiting for the right time. Any suggestions on how to deal with her if she does ask about the toy and how to still get permission for the concert.

For context, I’m 20F 5’6 not particularly the strongest or biggest and I’ve literally never been in a physical fight in my life. I’ve never even play fought with anyone before, so I genuinely have no idea how strong my punches are or how hard I’m capable of hitting someone.

So basically, this guy I’ve been seeing came over, and at some point he started asking me to fight him. He kept saying, “Let’s fight, let’s fight.”

And I was literally begging him not to. I kept saying, “Please no, I don’t want to fight. I’ve never fought before. Please, I don’t want to do this.”

Mind you, this guy boxes, and he’s significantly bigger and stronger than me. So in my head, I was thinking that if he’s repeatedly asking me to fight him, surely he knows what he’s getting himself into and can handle it?
Eventually, I agreed, and I genuinely started punching the shit out of him. 😭

The thing is, I wasn’t trying to actually hurt him. I thought we were play fighting, but because I’ve never done anything like this before, I didn’t really understand how much force I was using.

Next thing I know, he restrains me and literally runs off.
And I’m just standing there completely confused because I genuinely didn’t think I was hitting him that hard. My glasses didn’t even fall off my face, which obviously isn’t a measure of how hard I was punching, but that’s how little I understood what was happening in the moment.
Now I feel absolutely terrible cos he’s blocked me. I barely slept, and I’ve been shaking because I keep replaying the whole situation in my head.

I know that punching someone can hurt them regardless of whether they asked for it, and I’m not trying to excuse that. I just genuinely didn’t understand what he meant by fighting or how far things were supposed to go.
I’m also confused because I repeatedly told him I didn’t want to fight in the first place.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Am I missing something here? Because I genuinely don’t know what to make of this situation. Prior to this he was saying i’m too nice to him and i’ve never even raised my voice at him before, i’m not the type of person to actually fight anyone or put my hands on anyone he literally begged me too. I’ve never even insulted or cussed him out. Idk what do you guys think.

For more context i’ve never even thrown a punch before or have even been in a fight, he said the rules were no hitting face and balls and i didn’t do that at all

Hi. So. I live in a little offshoot road and don’t know all my neighbors. I’ve noticed an older gentlemen that is visibly physically disabled without any mobility aids a few times.

Today, as I was about to pull into the house, I saw him on the ground. I pulled over and he said he had fallen. I helped him up, helped him shuffle to his mailbox and drove him up his driveway to his house. A box from the food pantry was sitting on the steps and it was drenched. It hasn’t rained here for a few days. I brought the box inside and was horrified at the state of his house. It was covered in old food, trash, and flies everywhere.

I learned that he lives alone and has no assistance at home. He smelled horribly of BO and appears to have some cognitive difficulties. I’m so concerned for his wellbeing. I had to shower twice and scrub to get the smell off of me.

Do I call adult protective services? A welfare check? How do I help him? We live in a very low income area and I’m not sure our area has adequate resources. I just want him to be healthy and safe.

Hi everyone, I wanted to give an update because a lot has happened since my last post. Thank you to everyone who commented, especially those who suggested checking the files, metadata, and talking to her calmly. It really helped.

After reading your advice, I decided to have one more conversation with Alexis before making any final decision. I asked if we could go through the photos together on my laptop so I could show her the dates and maybe figure out when the crack happened. I stayed calm and gave her the benefit of the doubt, even though I was still frustrated.

When we looked at the photos, it became pretty obvious that the lens was fine during the first days of her trip. The pictures from the first few days in Mexico were completely clear, and you could tell there wasn't a crack. Around day four or five, there's a noticeable change. The same corner of the lens starts showing the exact kind of blur and light distortion you get from a crack. After that, almost all the photos have that same issue. I also showed her the metadata with the dates and times.

At first she stayed quiet, then she said it could have happened "by accident" while it was in her bag. I told her I understood accidents happen, but I still thought it was fair for her to cover at least part of the repair or replacement since the damage clearly happened while she had it.

She immediately got defensive and said I was being unreasonable. She repeated that she "didn't drop it" and that she "took good care of it." She also said $280 was too much and that I should just get it fixed myself because "it's not that serious" and "it still works."

I reminded her that this is an expensive camera, that the lens was perfectly fine before the trip, and that even if it wasn't intentional, she was still responsible for the damage. I offered to split the cost, which would have been $140 each, because I didn't want to lose her as a friend over money.

She refused and said she wasn't paying anything. Then she started saying I was accusing her and that I "don't trust my friends." She ended the conversation by telling me she felt uncomfortable and needed some space. It's been a few days now and she hasn't responded to my messages.

I'm honestly really disappointed. I've known her for almost ten years and never had an issue like this before. I didn't expect to lose a friend over a camera, but it hurts that she won't even take some responsibility, especially with the evidence.

For now, I'm going to get a quote for the repair and decide if I want to fix it or just replace the lens. I've also learned my lesson and won't be lending expensive things to anyone again.

TL;DR: I showed my friend the dated photos, which clearly showed the lens was fine at the beginning of her trip and got damaged while she had it. She still refuses to pay anything and is now ignoring my messages. I'm disappointed but moving on.

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice on my previous post. I decided not to say anything to her and instead call him directly and tell him everything.

I spent most of the phone call crying, but he listened calmly to everything I had to say.

First, I apologized for knowing about the first time she cheated and keeping it from him. When I told him that she had cheated on him again, he said he trusted her 100%. He was too shocked to even cry.

He understood why I hadn’t been able to tell him about the first incident and never blamed me for it. He even thanked me for telling him the truth. We both just kept crying by the time we ended the call.

After that, he told her that he had heard everything from me, and they broke up. Apparently, when she cheated on him the first time, he had decided that if she ever did it again, he would end the relationship.

During our call, he cried and told me that he didn’t want to delete their pictures, that he had always looked forward to seeing her every month (they were in a LDR), that he didn’t really want to break up because he loves him, and that he felt like he could never be with anyone else but her.

During the call, I also told him, “I’m friends with both of you. When one of you tells me about their cheating, keeping it a secret feels like I’m betraying the other, but telling the truth risks ruining your relationship. I was put in a situation where, no matter what I chose to do, I would inevitably lose something, and I never asked to be put in that position. It’s complicated.” Apparently, he shared these feelings with her, too, and she later called me and apologized for putting me in that position.

During the call with her, I apologized for playing a part in bringing their relationship to an end. She told me that she still wants us to remain friends, and I want that, too. Things will probably feel a little different and more complicated from now on, but she is still an important friend to me, and I want her to remain in my life.

Honestly, even now, I still don’t know if I did the right thing because I am the one who brought their relationship to an end, and that’s a difficult feeling to sit with, even though he thanked me for telling him and apologized for putting me in such a difficult position. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m glad I was able to help someone as genuinely good as him, rather than leave him with someone who keeps betraying him.

My friendships with both of them have become more complicated than they were before, but I hope that, little by little, we can rebuild our friendships and eventually get back to how things used to be.

And finally, if she truly reflects on what she has done and changes into a completely different person, I would be happy to see them get back together someday, even if that day is not in the near future.

Me and my mom’s relationship has always been difficult since honestly my dad died, she hasn’t been the same since then. Neither of my brothers and grandparents( which are my moms parents) don’t talk to her anymore because of her previous addiction, she has also stolen from them and also she not really nice and not very grateful for any help my family gives her and she can be energy vampire honestly. I can only see and take her doses and I don’t allow her to watch my son because I can’t fully trust her…

I keep a relationship with my mom because most of my family are no contact with her so she’s lonely. I worry if I do cut contact that she will relapse. Neither of my brothers have kids and I’m the only one with a son and a baby on a way so I know how much it means to stay in contact with her but my god she triggers me so much and always picks a fight with me and if I make her mad she slut shames me just like she’s doing in these text.

I’ll admit I am a young mom and that is on me, but my ex convinced me to do things with his friends and I did it because he used to tell me they would hurt him. I regret it obviously but i hate that She throws that in my face because I didn’t want anyone to know in the first place. But I’m at my wits end with her and I’m starting to think that our relationship isn’t salvageable at this point, but I genuinely want one with her but she constantly puts me down. I’m currently admitted to the hospital for a pregnancy complication and I’ve been here for over a week and I didn’t even want to tell her because i know she would make it about herself…can this relationship be fixed?

Okay, so im 23 female my husband is 26 male we have been together since I was 14 and he 17, we are eachothers 1st everything.

We have 3 babies, and own a home together.

Well, my husband has a coworker i think she's in her 30s or 40s, I hadn't met her and was hearing him tell stories about her along with other coworkers

In my mind I've never been worried about him cheating or being unloyal so I naturally haven't been worried until now.

Im going to tell about the things that I've been happening lately,

So ill start with i had just met her, we stopped by his store, get something for dinner, she's in there working, im like oh so thats what's her name, I am chill and getting what we need, she then pulls me to the side, and starts talking to me im being nice and talking to her and smiling, and during this conversation she then says "I want you to know you have nothing to worry about with any of us here" "we are more like family" I smile and say "oh thats cool but im not worried about anything like that we've grown up together and been together for years"

(Mind you my background is very sad and depressing, I come from domestic violence home, I was physically abused growing up, I lost my mother at 5 years old in kindergarten on Thanksgiving night, I lost my father when I turned 18, I dont speak to any siblings for theyre the domestic violent ones that physically abused me theyre all about 10-15 years older than me, so I have no family besides the one I've created with my husband)

She then says-- "oh no no I know you ARE scared bc he's all you have and you have no one else no friends or family so you are scared of losing him" I then ended the conversation and left.

Well yesterday I went in the store saw her. And walked out, I sent my husband in instead I sat in the car, he comes back out to the car, and tells me

"She said wasn't your wife just in here?" He said he told her "yes she wasn't feeling good so asked me to come in instead " and then he said she told him "aww well I wouldn't have been mean to her she could have came in"

And please I have no life experience, I have nobody to talk to and gather advice from, or to help me sort out what to think about this, can someone please tell me what they think, if they think she has bad intentions, if she's jealous, or what?

Long story short, my son took a field trip to in and out burger today with his classroom. When they sent pictures my son was being blocked by everyone and you couldn’t see him.
The second picture he was crying in the corner.

It rubbed me the wrong way, but I ignored it.
When I went to pick him up the teacher pulled me aside and said he’s not welcome to the next field trip because he was “running around and climbing under tables” I understand he is a handful but Jesus he’s 3. What do they except really?

This isn’t the first incident one time they wanted to send him home for being ““ congested. So I tried to say that was not a good enough reason and they took his fever and no fever and still sent him home. Meanwhile, kids were coughing and way more sick.

I hate to even say this, but also my child is black and his teachers are white. Am I overreacting? I’m feeling embarrassed that I complained to the principal, but I just can’t take it anymore.
Am I being immature?

Also, when she emailed me saying she had a concern that when my three-year-old gets mad, he hits himself. I said I know it’s really heartbreaking. I’m really trying to work on that with him because I think he’s angry. He’s realizing he does not have a dad and the teacher did not respond. I thought that was kind of rude because I said something vulnerable and opened up.

Hi, I’m sorry if this becomes long. The last 4 years have been a really up and down battle for me. I feel like I’ve been in a weird unmotivated depression episode this whole time and I want to put it to a stop.

I’ve gained a lot of weight and really fast. My lower back is constantly hurting from the weight and with me sitting around. I want to lose weight, but every time I start walking or exercising, I give up after a few days because I’m no longer motivated, I know that I want to do it, but I genuinely can’t.

I’ve also let our home go to shit. Like there’s no other word for it. My boyfriend has been amazing, even tho I feel like the worst person ever, and tells me he understands. I want to be a better gf, I want to stop giving up on cleaning or working out after 5 minutes.

Please help me, I’m so desperate to get my old life back…

EDIT: I AM A CHILD NOT AN ADULT

So… yeah, my mom willingly chose to become a Discord moderator.

She plays this one popular indie game (I do not want to name) with her friends and started their own server with a very wide and fun mod (what I have heard) with some good drama involved.

So besides my mom looking like the female version of a Discord moderator, why is this an issue?

Well, since I moved out from home she has stopped wanting me to come visit her more often. Besides her studying and working on the side, she is really busy managing her own business and now she spends all her nights moderating manually and playing the game.

What this has lead to is her not wanting me to come on weekends to spend time with her because she “needs to mod” (😭).

When eventually she finds time for me to come, she has this urge to go play and mod all night and ask me “is it okay if I go play a bit more?” And then she plays with her wife until 5am (not joking).

We even had this theatre we were supposed to go and after we had fun time there, she asked if I could leave immediately with train to go home, because SHE WANTS TO PLAY AND MOD.

All she talks about in our texts and irl is modding and the drama surrounding the development of the mod for the game and even made me help creating the moderation bot… Today I send her funny pictures of us and she had to mention how their discord has grown to 42 members????

She had multiple times chosen her server over spending time with me and gets upset when she can’t play and begs me to let her go to her computer. Even when we were supposed to go eat lunch, we had to wait for her to stop modding for an hour…

(EDIT: I kinda forgot to mention all the trauma, kicking me out at 16 and forgetting to feed me. This also started back when I was 14, not letting me sleep at nights and so on so on…

Sorry guys, I am new to this, so for more context just scroll few of my explanations in the comments :D)

PLEASE WHAT CAN I EVEN DO?? I am feeling desperate and I feel so ashamed to have my mom as a discord mod… I don’t want to hear her yap about her servers anymore and I want her old self back😭😭

I feel so weird and stupid. I’ve only met him twice but each time we’ve had very passionate sex to wear when he leaves I start crying. I know that sounds so weird but it’s just so good and he keeps in touch with me through text almost throughout the day, calling me things like his love, mi Vida, princess, he texts me through the day that he adores me and stuff like this.

If anyone has read my pass post, they know I have a really difficult life so he’s been my escape. He brings me so much joy I usually hate my clients and can’t wait till they’re done and get out. But when we had sex we remained eye contact and he hugs me after.

I know this is going to cause a lot of hate, but I’m pregnant now and I told him there’s a chance it’s his but I doubt it is. It’s probably my other dumb clients according to my ovulation. And his response wasn’t really the way I imagined. He just said that he’s not my boyfriend he’s only a client. He was sweet about it but it just made me realize how delusional and retarded I am. I just ended up uninstalling WhatsApp because I am now pregnant and can’t continue this field of work. But now his number is gone. I’ll always wonder about him. I’m crying.

I wish so badly he was the father of my child but according to ovulation it’s the short asshole client of mine. I don’t know if anyone has ever seen the Jeff dahmer series when he started to cry when his friend left. That’s how I feel. It’s not appropriate to cry yet I don’t know him enough to cry. Something is wrong with me..

I will always remember him

So like Ive known my neighbor for quite some time. Theyre the type of neighbor that just "lives" beside you yknow? the type that helps when asked to, that waves, but nothing more than that just an average person that keeps to themselves. And then I was looking for something on facebook and then I randomly saw a photo that caught my eye then I realized that it was him, but under a different name. at first i thought it was a random coincidence but then i hyperfixated on it and he looks almost exactly like the photo because he has a specific mole in a specific place in his face and the photo was taken at a place hes specifically told me hes never lived in

obviously i havent confronted him because i dont know what i got myself into or if its even something worth talking about and im stuck wondering if I should ask him, or anyone about it, or if i should pretend it never happened because its such a random thing to stumble upon and it makes me wonder if he did it for a reason? is he an ex con? does he have debt or enemies? and hes the most normal person ive ever met too at that. What are you even supposed to do in a situation like this

I (24f) am married to my husband (27m) of nearly 5 years. We have a toddler and a new born together and I don’t know what to do.
Over the last year and half or so we’ve been struggling after some family issues and then back and forth of good and bad luck. Some things have been in our control and others haven’t. We’ve been relatively good for a while but have had ups and downs.
While I was pregnant the people we were living with moved out unexpectedly, long story short this fucked us financially. Since then my husband and I have been at each other’s necks. I don’t know if some of it has to do with hormones, stress, etc, but it’s getting to the point where I’m struggling to even be around him.
To start it all I’ve found that when we argue he doesn’t take accountability, or really apologize. I’ll say something like ‘hey I asked you to take the trash to the curb this morning and you didn’t do it, that’s really frustrating to me’ and he’ll come back saying that I’ve forgotten to do things before too and that I can’t expect him to do everything I ask all the time (this is a singular example). It tends to end up pointed at me about how I either also have flaws or I ask too much/am too demanding. I often apologize and try to find a happy medium. Typically this gets shot down by saying he’ll do what needs to be done but essentially if something bothers me then I should just handle it. This isn’t to say that I’m never in the wrong, I am and I’ll admit and apologize when it’s brought up or I try to catch myself mid slip and course correct.
Now on to the next problem, and probably the most severe. While I was pregnant he and our toddler went on vacation (I was cool with this I loved the quiet time) but something in me told me something was going on while he was gone. When he got back I asked directly if he had done anything that was sexual or romantic in nature with anyone while he was gone. He said no, I took him at his word and dropped it. A month later (8 months pregnant) I got tested for normal pregnancy stuff and bam… chlamydia. So I ask him again, have you been stepping out of our marriage? He again says no and says that either this test or the one I got at the beginning of the pregnancy (which was negative) had to be wrong. We took the treatment and again I took his word for it, I know that arguing about it wasn’t going to make a difference. He buckled down on the fact that he didn’t cheat so what was the point of asking again, I have my answer, I mean STIs don’t spring up out of the bushes Yk? Anyways the other day he sent me a weird NDA as a ‘joke’ but it was an nda he apparently had an AI write about ‘jerking off on FaceTime’. He sent it to me and told me to sign it which I refused bc I was like wtf is this. He said it was a joke, I said I’m not sure what’s funny, this is weird. He showed me the conversation with the ai and ig it lined up but it rubbed me wrong. Now I was logged into his email to get a one time code and I’ll admit I was nosy, I scrolled through his email without opening anything. I saw an email from our bank abt Zelle and I did click on that. He sent $50 then $100 to someone, someone idk, someone I’ve never heard of. So all of this together makes me really uncomfortable…
Lastly, and this is the most sad for me. I’ve very freshly postpartum and so I’m home all day right now. I’m breastfeeding our newborn and some how I’m still the one doing all the household things. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, handle the baby, and everything else. He tries to help with the toddler but the toddler is very mom focused and wants to be around me and that’s not husbands fault. I feel like I’m putting on a one woman show. I don’t sleep, if I don’t cook I don’t eat, if I don’t clean/do laundry I have nothing to wear, etc. I’m exhausted.
Anyways I guess where I’m struggling is like what I said before, we’re financially struggling after our roommates left. I’m on unpaid maternity leave so that isn’t helping. And we’re renting a place and our lease is up in two months with two young kids. I’m at my limit, I can’t do this anymore but I can’t leave. I have no friends nearby, I have no family, I have no money, and no real means of leaving. Neither of us could survive independently right now and with a newborn and toddler I couldn’t handle everything on my own. The mild help with the toddler helps but I mean idk. I feel like if it was just the kids and I, I would have the same if not less work around the house. Do I leave? How do I even do that? Do I stay and get him to be honest? I don’t know what to do I have no support system and I’m stuck…

Sounds dumb. Need advice. Please take this semi seriously 😭😭

So basically. I (14) have been talking to this guy, Gabe (15) for about a month. We started dating last week. We talk almost all hours of the day and have grown very close, as teenagers seem to do. At first, I didn’t want to get into a relationship because my mental health is very unstable and I’ve been throwing myself into school and work as a means to stay busy. I just didn’t see myself having the capacity. He is so understanding and patient with me. I just thought, “hey this guy likes me and he’s pretty cool, so let’s take it slow and if it works then yay.”

Small backstory: When I was 13, I was dating this guy for almost a year. He ended up sexually assaulting me by forcing his fingers inside of me and covering my mouth and trapping me with his legs while I was trying to tell him to stop and push him off. When I told him that I was uncomfortable after that, he told me he would end his own life if we broke up. So, I didn’t break up with him at the time. He ended up breaking up with me because he felt so guilty and could no longer feel aroused in my presence. Whatever.

Anyway, me and Gabe have been planning a little hangout because we don’t really get to see each other during school and we just wanna hang out. He said I could come to his place and watch a movie since my parents are strict and would probably not let him into my room. Sure. Gabe and I have had some sexyish conversations in the past, no pics exchanged because I don’t feel comfortable. He knows what happened with my ex and has said he would never make me do something I don’t want to do. I have told him that I don’t really feel aroused that much. Idk why, but I always end up shutting down the freaky conversations down by either changing the subject or “accidentally” forgetting to reply and waiting until he’s not horny anymore. Back to the hangout part. He told me last night that his mom was going to buy him condoms and I could spend the night if I wanted. That’s the big deal. I don’t know if I want to have sex. I know that I like him and he’s attractive to me and I have felt aroused by him before. I know he likes me a lot and he’s very open about wanting to have sex with me. I’m just not sure. I don’t want to turn him down because he doesn’t deserve it. Help?

So I met this girl at a singles event. We exchanged Instagram handles, talked for a while, and then went our separate ways. When I texted her, she gave a few dry replies and then stopped, so I moved on with my life, knowing she wasn't interested.

Then, a few months later in November, she accidentally sent me a post about a dress, and I replied, "Do you want it?" We started talking and decided to meet. We met, talked a lot, and got into a relationship. I took her everywhere she wanted: shopping, restaurants, etc.

She had said many times she wanted to go on a trip, so I took her on a five-day trip in January. We had never been physically intimate—I asked and tried many times, but she always said no—until Valentine's Day. That day, she initiated it herself, and we just touched (no penetration) because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

After that, she started getting a little distant, and at one point around April, she started ignoring me again. I had met her brother many times, so I talked to him; he brought her to a mall without telling her about me, and we met, talked, sorted things out, and I brought a birthday gift as her birthday was just a week later. But nothing was the same again. She joined a cult-like organization, cut her long hair into a bob, and started distancing herself again, but whenever I tried to break ties, she would talk to me and keep me in her life.

Then, a few months later around June, she said she didn't want to be in the constraints of a relationship and just wanted to be free, so we should be friends for a while. I love her too much; in fact, I think she is only the second girl I have actually loved, so I thought if I stayed in her life, when she finally got over this phase, we might get back together.

After about a month, I found out (from her) that she was also meeting another dude. She started telling me that she wanted to get rid of that guy because he is 26, unemployed, living on his father's money, and doesn't even have any ambition or plans to work, but whenever she tells him she wants to end things, he starts crying and wailing, and she eventually agrees to keep it going.

Then came August (my birthday month), and she told me she wanted me to host a pool party; as per her request, I hosted an expensive private pool party. That day, she took my phone to order some food, went into my messages, and told every girl I was talking to (as I was single at that point) that I was committed and they should stop talking to me. I thought she still had feelings for me, so I stopped looking again.

Then, a few weeks later, she told me she had actually gotten into a relationship with that guy, and I was like, "Okay." I didn't care much and tried to move on, as I felt that if we were just friends, it didn't matter who she went out with.

But then he started doing weird things, like blocking me three times from her phone and deleting my texts.

She always unblocked me as soon as she noticed, and it started bothering me. Then, about three weeks ago, we planned to go on a two-day trip to a nearby city, but she canceled at the last moment and went with him instead, yet she still acted like everything was okay. When I called her, he picked up and abused me. When I texted her about this and asked why he would do that and how she could condone it, the messages were seen but received no reply. I felt really betrayed and broken and almost took the final step, but I stopped because of my mom. She told me the next day that if I had texted her anything, he deleted my chat, even though I had clearly told her what I was going to do. But she still did not leave him, and that felt like a huge betrayal because his actions almost made me do something I should not have, and she still chose to be with him, so I gave her an ultimatum that she needed to choose between him and me, as I do not want his toxicity in my life, and I distanced myself. Then, one day last week, she asked me to meet; I reluctantly went, we had coffee, and I dropped her halfway to her home because she insisted, saying she lives 26 km (17 miles) away, even though I told her I could drop her all the way to her home. Then I found out that she went the rest of the way with that guy. So I again made it clear that I do not want to be involved with her in any way as long as she is associated with him, because I do not have the energy to handle his behavior. Then, last week, she said she had some sort of medical issue and could not find the medicines, so I arranged them and called to ask how she wanted to receive them. We talked, and she said she tried ending things with him that day, but he started shouting and crying on the road, so she could not. I told her if she really wants to end it with him, she should just do it and not entertain his manipulation. She agreed and called me an hour later saying she finally ended it. The next day, Sunday, I went to pick her up; we went to an arcade, then had lunch at a place we had been waiting to go to for a long time. There, she told me she was happy she broke up with that guy, that he called her crying, and that she was happy it was over. We talked a lot about everything and had a really amazing day, one of the best for me in months, and then I dropped her off at her home. We started talking normally again. Then, today, I randomly asked if he still tries to contact her, and she said they still talk and she even met him. I have told her repeatedly that she needs to choose who she wants in her life, as I hate that guy after that incident and I do not want him in my life. She is neither leaving him nor letting me go. I have sent her a long text again stating clearly that she needs to choose and that I am not going to be available if he is in her life in any way.

How do you guys think I should move in this situation?

why is he so freaky

hello. this is my first time posting on reddit but i need advice or just need to read stories from anyone’s perspective regarding this topic. trigger warning this post mentions self harm

i am a 21 year old female and i used to live with one of my friends, who ill call kelly. around this time last year, i began to live with her and her partner, since they owned a house. kelly is my age and her partner is 25. separately, i used to also live with a girl (amy). me, kelly, and amy were all best friend and are in the same year of college. prior to college, i had never been medicated or treated for my depression and anxiety, even though i have had it almost my whole life.

since these girls have known me and lived with me for those past 3 years, they have come to be familiar with the severity of my symptoms. i have now been diagnosed with ocd, but i was unaware i had it until around 6 months ago, when my best friend told me i needed to move out, because she wanted the space to just be her and her partners. when i began living with kelly, i was just starting therapy and she had to sign and read a bunch of paper work because i have a lot of suicidal ideation, so it wasn’t like my mental illness was out of no where. i had been very open with her about my feelings through our duration of living together. one of these is my obsession of her kicking me out. so when she did tell me i needed to leave, i lost it. even though she was being very kind, i was so upset, because i had just left a terrible living situation with my mom and i was on bad terms with my dad. she left my room, and i was so upset, that my brain told me i needed to cut myself. NOTE: i am extremely guilty about this. i know i shouldn’t have done it but i was in an episode. i was going through some other things before this happened and i was not well. i did not know what i was doing and was literally not in my right mind. i had a history of cutting before this, but this time i had cut myself so severely i needed to go to the er.

from there, i was obviously hospitalized and i was in treatment for around 3 weeks. during that time, kelly and her partner packed up all my shit and brought it to my moms house, so i couldn’t even say goodbye and get my shit. after, i had reached out to amy because she was one of my best friends. me and her hit a rough patch, but the months leading up to this event, we began to reconnect and be a lot closer. i wanted to see her when i got out, but she told me that “she can’t deal with this drama” before she goes to study around for the 3rd time, and that she “wishes me well.” i was broken. i knew that she would’ve talked to kelly, because they have a class together.

since then, i have been no contact with both of them. a few months after i got out of the hospital, i left the state for two months and now i do school completely online. i am still so so so full of shame, guilt, and embarrassment for what i did. i am also so angry and sad that they won’t talk to me. i understand that depression is a selfish disease. i became so self centered because living was so so miserable so i could only think about me, but i was doing “the thing”, not living with my parents, working two jobs, going to school, and i was so free to do whatever i wanted. to this day, i think if the roles were reversed, i would’ve reached out to them by now. i am scared to reach out to them because i can’t handle rejection.

today, i saw them at the bar we would always go to, and immediately left. i have become a recluse because i am so scared of running into them. i never leave my house really, i quit my job, and i go to school completely online, despite still living in the town my college is in. i lost everything. my self confidence is at an all time low. i hate pretty much every part of myself, even though my ocd symptoms have gotten better since i’ve been correctly diagnosed. i want to be 21 and enjoy my senior year, but i have no one. and im so scared to make relationships. i want to obviously be able to do these things, but im so scared to see them and “do something wrong.” i dont want them or their friends to judge me if/when they see me out and working. so should i go to work? should i go out? i feel like i should to move on, but im scared of being judged. i know i need closure but i don’t know how to go about it. should i just never speak to them again and move on? do i text? i have no clue. i want to move on and live my life but im in constant fear of seeing them. i still love them so so much, that i think i would be broken to hear that they don’t want to see me anymore. that has always been my worst fear since meeting them, and now its true. what do i do?

So I'm (freshly) part of management and hiring of the company I work for. We have recently been holding interviews but haven't had much luck with what we're looking for.

A middle aged woman applies and on paper, she's got everything we want so I went ahead an scheduled an interview with her.

She turns up to this interview and she reeks. In the most honest way, she smelt like cigarettes, damp and piss. She was well dressed, had her hair done and acted very professionally but the smell was hard to get over.

After she left, other workers in the the vicinity asked who she was and didn't hold back telling me she had a certain aroma.

NOW I know people's situations and private lives are absolutely none of my business, not everyone is in the same position but now I'm stuck with this problem. Do I hire her and just buy more air fresheners or turn her down, it feels as though its not my place to tell her BUT if someone turned up to the interview dressed too casual or "bad" they wouldn't be hired. Does the same apply here? What do I do?

when I was in 5th grade I was going through things of my own and had self issues, barely had friends and I don’t remember it all correctly. all I remember and thats been eating me alive was that it was probably recess and I was playing the basketball game called “horse“ where you have the spell out the word horse with each miss you have, im not sure what escalated for young me to do this but I had the “brightest” idea instead of spelling horse it was “fat (the girls name)” and like I said I don’t remember much of this but I knew she heard me and looked really sad and her face hadn’t left my mind since then I wanted to apologize to her but by the end of 5th grade, I never saw her again until now that I was catching up with old school friends and found her on their following and I wanna apologize to her by dm even though its been years. would this be a good idea? or would it be better to leave her be and live with the guilt.

I (17M) have a p*rn addiction. I was introduced to this at a very young age (around 7-8 years old) by my older cousins and their group of friends.

Ever since, it seems like i can’t escape it. Especially while being a teenage boy in puberty. I’ve watched it so much throughout my years, that it doesn’t really feel like an addiction, and more like a daily routine.

I don’t feel the urge that i NEED to do it. I just do it. There was a period when I had a girlfriend (a year and 3 months), so I stopped watching it and doing it. Now that we’ve separated, i’ve went back to it.

I’m not looking to be babied about this. I’m not looking for anyone to sugarcoat anything for me. I’m willing to take any criticism/advice anyone will give me.

Do i get back in the gym? Do i continue looking for jobs until I get one?