r/mildlyinteresting • u/SecondsWellSpent • 8h ago

Poison ring given to my by girlfriend!

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18.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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13.5k

u/GoodTato ​ 8h ago

These are fun, knew someone who used to put catnip in there and instantly befriend cats

6.3k

u/SecondsWellSpent 8h ago

This is a great idea and i’m stealing it

1.1k

u/gayjoystick 7h ago

TIL I need a catnip ring in my life!

440

u/Asron87 6h ago

You could put it in any keychain pill bottle. Meeting a gal for the first time? Have cat nip and dog treats. If the pets like you really well “for some reason” she’s going to love you too.

269

u/Rothko28 6h ago

Are you Dennis from IASIP?

160

u/Efficient_Sundae3611 6h ago

Because of the implication.

5

u/SquidVices 5h ago

Ooooohhhhhhh

6

u/dgjapc 2h ago

Are the cats in danger?

37

u/goldenratio1111 6h ago

I saw your onion, dude.

8

u/Elbonio 6h ago

It's a great way to demonstrate value

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u/WoodenHarddrive 5h ago

Gonna just keep using the poison but ty.

3

u/Me2BuddyMe2 4h ago

The last guy I dated brought bones for my dogs and they loved him. I married him.

142

u/Kutti818 6h ago

not all cats get cuddly and nice when smelling catnip. some get really agressive in my experience.

25

u/TrashAcnt1 6h ago

You still rubbing your jiggly bits in catnip for fun Ned?

30

u/mayamalicious 5h ago

My cat just doesn't care about cat nip and has no reaction to it

18

u/Brook420 2h ago

Your cat is a narc.

3

u/Ecstatic_Level2625 1h ago

I have never had one of my cats even care two hoots about cat nip. And I've had many cats over the years.

3

u/Hopeful_Method5175 1h ago

One of my cats doesn’t really care about catnip, but loses his shit over silvervine.

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54

u/ku1185 6h ago

Was gonna say, catnip ring is a good way to get your fingers bit.

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4

u/Flipflopsfordays 6h ago

I’m gonna need a follow up report

3

u/Starfire2313 4h ago

RemindMe! 2 weeks

You have an assignment now OP

2

u/Ardal 6h ago

Is this title supposed to read:

given to my bi girlfriend, or

given to me by my girlfriend

2

u/SecondsWellSpent 6h ago

given to me by my girlfriend hahah

1

u/Oseaghdha 2h ago

Obviously it is more important that you use it to continue to carrying immodium.

87

u/Cat_world_domination 7h ago

I've done a similar thing once by putting valerian drops on my hand to befriend the cats at my local cat café.

It worked a little too well, they liked my hand so much they tried to eat it.

7

u/Fluid_crystal 4h ago

I used to give valerian tincture to my cats when I had cats and it drove them nuts!

1

u/morfraen 2h ago

That's what I'm picturing happening with the catnip ring lol.

2.0k

u/happy-cig 8h ago

I rather just put weed in it and befriend friends. 

1.1k

u/stackjr 8h ago

What is this? Weed for ants?

Sorry, I'm not good at making jokes.

55

u/VinnySmallsz 7h ago

I accept.

https://giphy.com/gifs/kekiQX9An5mSc

3

u/should_have_been 5h ago

Rest in mild contentment Grympy cat.

266

u/raphthepharaoh 8h ago

This one wasn’t bad though

74

u/Kage_0ni 7h ago

It's short, but it's got legs.

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52

u/Lurking_stoner 7h ago

No it’s weed for cats!

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8

u/ParanoicReddit 7h ago

You know, I have a tiny little pipe that would work well with that ring, concealed coping mechanism for long, hard shifts

2

u/FoulArtFart 6h ago

Could put some dab in there.

2

u/That_Message_8752 5h ago

Use capsules 10 mg each. You could fit more of them than weed.

3

u/Inprobamur 5h ago

Fill it with pure LSD, enough to dose a large city worth of people.

1

u/mountainbrewer 5h ago

It's amazing what a dry herb vape can do!

1

u/BeratnasGilf2 5h ago

I grew a weed plant in my backyard many years ago and the ants would climb up the main stem, bite into it at the branch points, and steal the sap. Turns out ants really like weed, they just don't smoke it.

1

u/gunkblaster 5h ago

For the colony!

1

u/thatspurdyneat 5h ago

Fill it with RSO

1

u/HotPassenger4598 4h ago

I’m laughing out loud, so you done good

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43

u/xaanthar 7h ago

A friend in need is a friend indeed
A friend with weed is better

24

u/ClankerCore 7h ago

A friend with breasts and all the rest
A friend who's dressed in leather

9

u/More-Bug5374 6h ago

A friend in need is a friend indeed,
My Japanese is better

3

u/whythishaptome 2h ago

My friend confessed she passed the test,

And we will never sever

2

u/Tongue-Punch 4h ago

A friend that is a steed may be a horse indeed.

9

u/ExaminationSouthern6 7h ago

Oh man, thanks for that big dose of nostalgia

Placebo - Pure Morning

2

u/Little_Cloud6126 6h ago

I remember my placebo-obsession phase about 10-15 years ago 😭

11

u/mrDuder1729 6h ago

A friend with weed, is a friend, indeed!

120

u/oniiichanUwU 8h ago

You can only make friends by offering them drugs? Are you the person the DARE program warned us about?

61

u/Sir-Nicholas 7h ago

Don't be ignorant, you can also make friends by accepting drugs when you are offered.

33

u/oniiichanUwU 7h ago

I only accept organic ethically sourced certified gluten free cocaine

5

u/Little_Cloud6126 6h ago

I only take medicinal cocaine

3

u/Useful_Kale_5263 7h ago

Oh don’t worry, friend,
https://giphy.com/gifs/bBEtZwqvQogeY
we ethically source it from gasoline.

2

u/Massive-Tell5663 6h ago

I read certified as calcified and I was like "damn son"

2

u/lookingUp2TheSkye 6h ago

What if I'm lactose intolerant? Then what? I get really bad stomach cramps when I hit that dairy meth. Is there lactose free meth?

2

u/oniiichanUwU 6h ago

A good dealer will offer you Lactaid with your purchase. You could also probably locally source vegan meth if you move to Missouri

2

u/mufflerbearing42069 4h ago

Farm to nostril only

31

u/BeerorCoffee 7h ago

They also give out expensive weed candy for Halloween

35

u/scfoothills 7h ago

That's a great idea! It will be a lot easier than putting razor blades in candy apples like I usually do.

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25

u/happy-cig 8h ago

DARE thought me how to be a dealer. 

13

u/drivingsansrobopants 7h ago

taught you where to hang out. who to sell to.

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1

u/nudiecale 7h ago

You mean the person that the DARE program gave us false hopes about?

1

u/Suspicious_Hope69 6h ago

Man I haven’t found one of those give out the good stuff for free people yet. I feel kinda like I was lied to as a kid.

1

u/CardboardHeatshield 5h ago

I mean, maybe not only, but youve got to admit it does make the process go a whole lot faster.

1

u/Kingbulking 5h ago

"You can only make friends by offering them drugs" is an insanely delusional take on saying you could make friends with weed.
How did you get from "befriend friends" to thinking it's his one and only option? -_-

Reddit is such an insane place where one sentence can leap 16 leagues of assumptions to meaning something that isn't even remotely close to what was said...

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56

u/123supreme123 7h ago

I rather just put blow in it and treat myself.

Fixed it for you

11

u/perfect_insanity93 7h ago

Ill stick to weed. me and coke.. dont have a great history.

19

u/BeerorCoffee 7h ago

Pepsi then.

8

u/CodenameMolotov 7h ago

I'm the opposite, quitting coke was easy but stopping smoking weed was so hard. If weed cost $100 a gram maybe it would be easier to quit

6

u/tuliprox 7h ago

Fr same lol. I can do coke for a night and then stop and not touch it again for another 6 mos to 2-3 yrs lol. But I can't even go a day without smoking weed hahaha

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18

u/colinisthereason 7h ago

No, blow goes in the cross of a rosary

25

u/CodenameMolotov 7h ago

Mix your coke with saline in a nasal spray bottle. It will irritate your nose less than doing a line and you can do it in public and nobody will know

3

u/-heatoflife- 7h ago

It'll degrade quicker, no? Volumetric blow seems like the move, if not.

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3

u/tech_noir_guitar 7h ago

I have tried that before and it was kinda weird. Also, if you're passing around a nasal spray, yeah it does look kinda suspicious... Lol

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12

u/j0llyllama 7h ago

That seems intentionally cruel.

13

u/RealEstateDuck 7h ago

Yeah cruel for yourself. It's way too little coke.

2

u/jgray6000 7h ago

I see what you did there

2

u/Fox_Hawk 7h ago

Easy there demon Kathryn.

5

u/welchplug 7h ago

I rather blow myself

2

u/peepdabidness 7h ago edited 6h ago

Gotta remove a few ribs to do that, but worth it. I never leave the house anymore

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2

u/LongBongJohnSilver 6h ago

Treat because it's gonna look like you're covered in confectionery sugar

30

u/-Invalid_Selection- 8h ago

Barely a bowl. Gonna need to bring a few rings full

83

u/BRICH999 8h ago

Ready to party!

25

u/bigloser42 7h ago

Imagine being slapped by this person. 4 extra lbs of rings to just really mess your day up.

2

u/MacArther1944 7h ago

Ah, and if that bard rolls a Nat 20….welll

2

u/FutureLost 7h ago

It's the Mandarin!

Or Parralax. Either way we're screwed.

2

u/aunty_megatron 7h ago

don’t get ready, stay ready!

2

u/Justlookig1294 6h ago

Ready to be besties?

3

u/-Invalid_Selection- 7h ago

That'll get the job done.

6

u/drfitzgerald 7h ago

You just need to get some other friends with rings. Then you can be finger ring friends! Who doesnt love finger ring friends?

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2

u/Oesterreich-Ungarn 8h ago

Bring resin

4

u/-Invalid_Selection- 8h ago

Then it'll get warm, gonna have to finish the whole ring

2

u/FunTXCPA 8h ago

god gave you 10 fingers for a reason!

2

u/123supreme123 7h ago

You're going to look like the marvel mandarin guy with bejeweled rings

1

u/BarrattG 7h ago

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. 'J R R Tokien'.

1

u/windsynths 7h ago

Bro rocking up with two thanos gauntlets

10

u/TheFrenchSavage 7h ago

Wear it to the airport and you'll befriend pigs.

6

u/depraveycrockett 7h ago

Coke will go further. More friends per gram.

22

u/noreservations81590 6h ago

Yeah but I'd rather hang out with the average cat than the average stoner.

5

u/Gseventeen 6h ago

You're not wrong

1

u/jah_john 6h ago

Gosh, I bet you are just swell!

4

u/noreservations81590 6h ago

I've smoked for most of my life. But I'm just talking about people that make it their personality.

Plus, it was a joke on the Internet.

3

u/DDRaptors 5h ago

  it was a joke on the Internet.

The Russians are offline, so we’ll allow it.

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u/seabutcher 3h ago

I'd rather hang out with the average cat than most humans tbh. Humans who offer me good weed are a close competitor.

14

u/overfiend1976 8h ago

Ewwwww, people.

10

u/KennywasFez 7h ago

Cocaine use it for cocaine.

3

u/psbales 7h ago

Hmmm…. nah, I’ll take the cats.

3

u/Beemo-Noir 7h ago

That’s like, not even a bowls worth bro 😭

2

u/ItchyK 7h ago

I would recommend doing both.

2

u/GreenHeretic 7h ago

I'd rather put friends in there and be be bees

2

u/bigloser42 7h ago

Why not put both in there and befriend everybody?

3

u/keithstonee 7h ago

no one like smelling your loud ass in public.

3

u/supreme_jay 7h ago

Stay inside your home then

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u/fascintee 6h ago

Boo hoo we don’t like smelling you either

2

u/Sarcasmose 7h ago

Frients

1

u/ilovekickrolls ​ 7h ago

Coke*

1

u/Crackslap 6h ago

See this. You put your weed in it!

1

u/SafeWillingness5891 6h ago

so friendnip?

1

u/AppropriateBall8834 6h ago

id put fent in there and be an assassin

1

u/ggouge 6h ago

I would rather have the cats

1

u/Little_Cloud6126 6h ago

Hi, can we be friends? 😂

1

u/JimJohnes 6h ago

You are weak. Is there no life in you apart from your refrences to ganja and 420 and other drug refrences? Where are you?

Let's rephrase. I jusust put Jack D in my hearty thimble so i don't care.

1

u/Benromaniac 6h ago

LSD LSD LSD!

1

u/dmanbiker 6h ago

My roommate had a ring you could put a little bit of bud in and it unfolds so you can hit it.

I was driving him to work one day and I told him to demonstrate his ring and he took a big hit off of it and blew it out the window right as a cop passed us with his window open. It was like perfect timing. I wasnt smoking, but im pretty sure you're not supposed to have passengers smoking either, but luckily we didn't get pulled over lol.

1

u/Smart_Owl_938 5h ago

I love this lol

1

u/kingrodedog 5h ago

A friend with weed, is a friend indeed!

1

u/Emergency-Wish160 5h ago

Most animals are better people than people are. I’ll stick with the catnip, and keep my weed at home

1

u/WriggleNightbug 5h ago

I was thinking ibuprofen and befriending myself.

1

u/SimmerDown_Boilup 5h ago

That's barely a bowl. Ain't nobody getting stoned off that.

1

u/megure_2026 5h ago

I rather just put weed in it and befriend friends.

including Mr. Bing?

1

u/Ellimis 5h ago

People instead of cats? Pass.

1

u/puffdaddy725 1h ago

Doesn’t always work I got narc’d on in highschool for wearing one 😂

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u/-heatoflife- 7h ago

Fuck. I put raw salmon in mine. Why didn't I think of this?

42

u/Tyllian1 6h ago

Great way to meet bears :)

19

u/trukkija 6h ago

Like.. at a club?

20

u/Nikkolai_the_Kol 7h ago

Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets

"I keep a little catnip in my ring."

5

u/CherryCherry5 ​ 7h ago

"People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch."

19

u/Ottoguynofeelya 7h ago

I put cyani

29

u/ArtemisInSpace 7h ago

r/RedditSniper

8

u/peepdabidness 7h ago

I don’t think a sniper was involved in this one

5

u/sublime13 6h ago

You’re not familiar with cyanide bullets?

2

u/peepdabidness 6h ago

😂 okay you got me

15

u/ElishaAlison 7h ago

Oh no boys, we have a mystery on our hands. Did the sniper get them, or did the the poison? (Dramatic music)

2

u/Dominika_4PL 7h ago

I think the the poison

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u/NerwanderR 7h ago

Not if the sniper gets you first!

3

u/iampierremonteux 7h ago

r/redditsniper

Was that poetic justice that just happened?

4

u/LindasFriendGinger 7h ago

You must know me because this is exactly what I do lol

9

u/RoseClash 7h ago

incredible! witchy moment.

4

u/quartzquandary 7h ago

That is GENIUS

2

u/Thisbadtattoo 7h ago

 I’m not a ring guy but I’m thinking about it. 

2

u/Lara-El 5h ago

I've never wanted a ring so badly in my life lol thanks for the life pro tip hahah

3

u/sorestgore 8h ago

That's amazing

1

u/ErectTubesock 7h ago

That is a diabolically genius

1

u/ButtBread98 7h ago

Where do I get a ring like this? I have a cat who goes crazy for catnip.

1

u/BiologyBooksBeats 7h ago

Funny, only slightly related, story.
When my husband and I adopted our dog and took him to his first dog park, it was also our first time in a dog park. He’s very motivated by treats, so my husband kept a little baggie in his pocket.
ALL THE DOGS KNEW IMMEDIATELY. At first we thought, “wow, these dogs are so receptive to new guests!” Then an owner walked up and asked “you got treats?” Anyway, we did have enough for everyone and got all the owners’ permissions to pass them out to all the good boys and good girls😋 we never took treats to the park again.

1

u/ConfessSomeMeow 7h ago

This is the only post I've seen in the comments that wouldn't be better served by a bison tube (it would be airtight and the cats wouldn't get their tantalizing whiff)

1

u/pc2phone 6h ago

I did something similar with mine that helped me instantly befriend humans

1

u/egewh 6h ago

Oh my god I am buying one immediately. I have a huge bag of nip that I can't seem to burn through. ALL CATS SHALL BE MINE

1

u/idlno1 5h ago

Great idea ! Busting out my poison rings and catnip.

1

u/thehumblebaboon 4h ago

If I do this, my cat is going to fuck up my hand.

1

u/Waste_Airline7830 3h ago

Oh. My. God.

1

u/CatLadyVIII 3h ago

Hold up…. I need to do this

1

u/spoonwarriors 3h ago

Hum. Excuse moi while I pick up the pieces of my blown up mind. Simple. Effective. Genius

1

u/All99for1 3h ago

The center of my ring I fill... with an Underdog super energy pill!

1

u/psychxticrose 1h ago

You can also put cocaine in there and befriend everyone 

1

u/Glitter_berries 1h ago

Did you know that 33% of cats are unimpacted by catnip? I did not know this until I got my cat, who is in the 33%. We use Japanese silver vine instead.

1

u/Adventurous_Bath_598 1h ago

This is what’s wrong with the world. No one does cocaine anymore.

1

u/Lobeil 1h ago

Omg I'm instantly buying one

1

u/Free_Pace_2098 7m ago

Are you a genius

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