I was on a 9hr flight back home from vacation and the person ahead of me opened the overhead bin, then reached back and was fiddling w/ something in her seat, leaving the bin wide open. I was weary so i kept an eye out and sure enough a few seconds later her luggage comes tumbling down on top of me.

I'm first in complete shock, pain, and embarrassment. I have no problem being standing up for myself/ being outgoing/ but that's like falling in public/ throwing up in public - just something embarrassing out of your control happen. A large bag with a computer and large tumbler fell right into my right side as i ducked.

I kind of blew it off as i was in shock, but was pissed because it was completely preventable and now my head and half my body is throbbing. Of course they were apologetic, attendants checked if i was okay.

After the flight, I just broke down. The shock and actual physical pain manifesting into physical pain was too much. I don't know how to describe it. I was initially upset at myself for crying + feeling upset - something I struggle with being a HSP- letting myself be nonjudgmental towards how I'm feeling - it doesn't matter if it's "justified" to others or how someone else would react in that situation. It's okay to feel how you feel.

Anyway, I feel a bit better now, emotionally. I'm still physically in a lot of pain and regret not being more upfront about how much physical pain I was and am in.

I’m a good friend, and I have lots of them. But whenever it comes to dating, I just hate the idea of being responsible for another person all the time. They’re constantly texting me, having emotional baggage, demanding a decent chunk of my time and energy, etc, idk I just think that sounds like a nightmare.

Plus, I have a sensitive nervous system and attachment issues. Unfortunately, I tend to fawn a lot/show the other person whoever I think they want. It is as though if I even approach dating territory, I lose myself in the other person, and I hate that. I feel like I’m not showing the other person who I actually am, and if I’m not doing that, who exactly is it they love spending so much time with? Not me. Idk, I see myself staying single forever or finding someone much later in life unless somebody knocks my socks off and I’m comfortable with them.

Hi everyone. Usually just a Reddit browser but I didn’t know this sub existed. Happy to be reading things I relate to - being the only HSP I know is really lonely at times. Anyway, I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind. 

Does anyone else have a very rigid value system that makes it difficult to let things go?  Like beyond the traditional integrity. 

For instance: honesty, congruence and accountability are big ones for me. I have a friend who lies A LOT. And most of the time it’s harmless and honestly kind of stupid - “oh I’ve read that book” or “yeah I’ve been there too!” There there are times where it’s bigger, but that’s not really important to what I’m trying to say. It REALLY bothers me when she lies - I ruminate on it for days. I just don’t understand the point of it? And again, a lot of the times it’s not actively harmful so idk why I can’t just let it go. But I genuinely CANNOT and it’s making me resentful. 

Another friend is very hypocritical - will criticize others for acting a certain way then go do something similar and act as if it’s different because she’s morally superior to the other people. And that also REALLY bothers me. Again, it becomes something I’ll hyper-fixate on after witnessing it. 

Do others feel intensely rigid with their values, too? Is this an HSP thing or am I just too hash/judgmental or something? 

(Also, not to worry - I’m in therapy. Just looking to hear from other HSPs) 

I just really feel kind of alone in this sometimes. I react to everything so strongly - I have extremely low pain tolerance and stress tolerance and I feel like my body just gives up on me so easily.

Basically I need beta blockers just to survive any situation that makes me nervous (and there are a lot of those), since otherwise my nervous system will be a complete wreck and I can barely function. If I get into a conflict with someone, I'll start to shake and cry really easily and it's very hard for me to calm down. If I watch a series that has violence or any psychologically/emotionally intense content, I'll also be a wreck for the rest of the day and can't stop thinking about it. If I get my blood drawn or get vaccinated, I'll often faint and will also have pain in my arm for the whole day, while most people say they didn't really even feel the needle. I get excruciating ear pain in cold windy weather, and I simply can't wear tight fit clothing or itchy wool knits. And the list goes on...

Ugh, I just feel like it'd be so much easier to just have thick skin and not be so vulnerable to everything. I do feel like I feel all the pleasures strongly too though, so it's not all just negatives. Music very easily gives me chills and strong physical euphoria, for instance. But still, man, sometimes I feel like I'm definitely playing life on hard mode.

especially caused by trauma. cause i know that some people become hard, insensitive and some too kind, too empathetic. im 20 just getting to find out the adult world and what ive seen and realized is that the world rewards malicious, mean, insensitive people. it is so so cruel and it hits me like bricks everyday that people are so rude and mean and theyre the ones thriving, happy, theyre the one who has friends. i tried to be hard too but it felt like i was selling my soul. please just someone tell me does it ever get better for people like me?

I feel everything so intensely, I feel like I have a very high emotional need. I often feel a heavy lump in my chest, most of the time the emotions are intense I need to resort to physical sensations. I used to do all sorts of self destructive behavior but now I only do harmless things like eating candy, using lotions, and occasionally biting my tongue.

I have learned how to manage it by myself for the most part, but it makes me feel so lonely. I have a great family, friends, and recently an amazing girlfriend too, But no one has ever truly understood me. I’m just intense and if one actually tries to “get” to me, they will get overwhelmed. I’m dealing with it and I journal and therapy but I just wish I don’t have to do all this alone. I just wished that I’m not overwhelming and too much to deal with when I open up and tell someone everything that I’ve been dealing with.

My doctor said I have a trait that makes me very sensitive to stress and causes variety of symptoms. I was diagnosed with depression, pmdd, CPTSD but as the doctor change it changes.

It's been 4 years since I first started feeling depressed and it's getting worse and worse.

I started hallucinating and got confused and tried to take my life last year.

Now, a little after I had a flu and got back from a trip, I started feeling very tired.

I can move but I take a nap for hours.

But now my body is always heavy and doing things takes a lot energy and it's getting worse.

I'm having vivid nightmare everyday and I wake up during the night.

I feel down and anxious. I feel like hurting myself.

What should I do?

Do you have any food sensitivities and does your body react sensitive to any food or milk products?

Do you get acne or other symptomes from milk products or other food?

Did you stop eating/drinking milk and other food or do you just live with that?

Do you live milk free because of that and what do you eat instead? How do you get your protein?

I think my acne is from milk products but I need the protein in the morning and it's cheap. I already eat meat, eggs and fish. I don't know how I should get my protein in the morning that is cheap and easy to make without cooking. I don't have time in the morning. I'm always in a rush.

Is it true that the blood sugar affects the nervous system?

I always get tired, exhausted and groggy after eating unhealthy carbs and sugar, and I loose the feeling in my fingers after a lot of carbs. I can only eat healthy carbs like complex carbs, fruits, honey and dates. I don't have diabetes.

Why is it like that and can it be some health issues and not just being sensitive?

Do you have something similar?

Basically, I made a discussion post in a subreddit dedicated to a certain franchise. No one replied, and the only person who did respond started their comment with "ignoring the post" and then said something completely off-topic.

I’m not sure if this person was just an ill-mannered child or if they did it on purpose to make me feel bad (I’ve been attacked online countless times before, so I don’t expect much from the internet).

I’m just wondering if someone who isn't an HSP would also feel invalidated and excluded by something like this.

I’m just tired of the internet, even though I use it every single day to satisfy my need for human contact. I get the feeling that, in general, people passively hate me.

I will tell you my background first— my family consists of four people me, my mother, sister and father, in which my father was an alcoholic and a highly trupitudinous man and he left us when I was 5 years old or something. Like he used to come and go constantly and then finally left when I was 5 or something.

Now coming to my mother or sister, so their system was— yes, they did send me to school and college but that was for the name only, they never asked what I wanted to do or how am I doing, etc. but other than that they had no involvement in my life. It was like they just gave birth to me and left me on my own (emotionally) and at some level physically too. Like no holidays, no birthday parties, nothing. And yes I am living on their finances as for now but the condition still continues.

And due to sensitive, emotional, empathic caring nature and having no-one to rely on, I used to just simply go out of the way to help or care for people (which is my basic nature too) and never get that in return and due to my conditions I always got exploited or taken advantage of. Like I knew what was happening but I had no one to even talk to, so I used to ignore it because if I didn't do that then I would have been lonely, which I was anyways.

Now I am 25 and it still continues but going through all this compelled to never trust anyone and never show your emotions to anyone but that made my condition that serious that I isolated myself up for a decade straight.

So for dealing with all this I hired a therapist (she's a trauma informed clinically licensed therapist with a PhD with high credentials) and the things were going good until previous and today's session. Like i get panic attacks all the time and those are that serious that it makes a suicidal all the time.

Now, since i have no one who understands me — she was the main anchor of my life who knows me in and out and when I first send her the suicide note— she was anxious for me, she called me multiple times, got touched with my family that if he safe or not and like that.

But she stated the boundaries very clearly that do not message or call me outside the session because this is not a crisis help line and I cannot be available for you 24/7— which was not wrong at all. But since I live alone and get panic attacks quite often do I use to message her thinking that at least I have someone to inform that I am in distress so that she can help me but in previous session she harshly stated me that— do not message or call outside the session because I cannot be available 24/7. It's your family's job and not mine and if they are not doing it then it is not my problem— which hurt me because my intention was not to trouble her but to feel safe that yes I also have someone whom I can inform if something happens to me.

But she said in our previous session that "my boundaries are more important than your life because what you are saying is that if something happens to me then no one will be there to even inform is an unpredicted future outcome and nothing else because it can happen to me also even when I am surrounded by the people or family. So do not cross boundaries of not texting outside the message.

But it feels like she was saying that my life doesn't matter but her boundaries are more important than that. Maybe it was my interpretation and not what she was saying but she did say that your life matters to you only and if you die then surely people will mourn for two days but then they will move on like I never existed. So that hurt me too, does my life have no value?!

And the other incident was— as she is a doctor so interns come to her for an internship, so after my previous session when I was going back home, she asked one of her interns "Did you eat something?" If not, then go inside and ask my mother and she will give you the food, so that made me hurt too. Like i understand the difference between an intern and a client or a patient but I needed that care more than anyone who was present there but I was not getting that but she was. Like my concern was— "she's also an outsider and I am also an outsider but she's getting asked or cared but not me when it is needed the most for me!" So why behave differently with me?!

So when I confronted her in today's session she said— yes, I do behave differently with different people and all people does.

Now the problem is— that is fine that people behave differently with different people but I am special to no one and no one cares about me in the way I wanted them to be.

So she said — you are not a child any more who will get unconditional love, you are a 25 year old man so behave like one. Now, was it my mistake that I didn't get that unconditional love which I deserved?! Now if I am needing that then what's the problem in it?!

It would have been wrong when I was just asking to do it for me and not do anything in return but I am also provided unconditional love then what's the problem in wanting the same?!

But she said — that's the cause of your suffering, people will give whatever they can and not what you want them to be. But people have at least one person in their life who is the most important one to them but I don't have anyone and why everyone can do it for everyone but not me?!

What am I doing wrong?! What's the problem in me?!

Yes I have high needs. Yes I am desperate but what else do this fucking world expect from a person who was starved for affection, love, care and importance his whole Life?!

Why the fuck everybody wants a man who has all things figured it out and who don't care if someone is in his life or not?!

Just because my needs are high because I never got the love in my entire life, so that made me unattractive somehow?!

No amount of wealth, hobbies or work can make me happy but love! I only want one thing in life which is love and I don't understand what's the problem in wanting that?!

Very interesting, long but worth it to understand how this came to be in life - and when -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s1KWdTB3NM

It's emotionally exhausting, be it in college or somewhere else, people nowadays don't really care and aren't genuine either. If someone says something mean to me, or make me feel excluded then I overthink whole day about it, let it affect my studies and marks. It's a loop I'm unable to escape. How do I turn this switch off? I cry when someone doesn't care about me the way I care about them, I cry everyday wondering what is possibly wrong with me because I don't have any friends.

The problem is that I cannot pretend to be close to people who treat me like an option, and I know that I'm nobody's first choice either. Today I got invited by my benchmate to join an event but I declined because I feel so unwanted that ideky. I feel like they invite me on some days when it's convenient and don't even care to include me when they're usually hanging out.

I just don't know but everything is emotionally exhausting nowadays to the point that I feel like I cannot do the people thing anymore because being around people is making me want to put a full stop to life but at the same time I sometimes too crave one genuine connection. But I think I'm cursed.

I’m 26 f and I have yet to meet someone as sensitive as I am. I’m highly emotional and often cry when feel any sort of pressure of emotion. So it doesn’t matter if it’s anger, sadness, or excitement, any build in emotion with nowhere to go ends up with me in tears.

My parents though are the complete opposite. They hate showing any sort of emotion and growing up whenever I was really upset and they didn’t know what to do, they would literally walk away and ignore me until I stopped. I have memories of me crying and screaming myself to sleep, like passing out in pure exhaustion, all from crying and begging for my mom. My dad encouraged it and has a very old school way of parenting, so he’s the typical “wanna cry? I give you something to cry about” so seeking comfort from dad doesn’t exist.

So now as an adult, I feel so deprived of love and attention, like my body and soul feel starved. I tried to give my dad a hug today and it felt like I was hugging a brick wall. He tensed up and slightly tapped my back. I ran away fast before he could see me cry and I ended up crying like a fucking baby once I was alone, like hysterical crying like a child begging for their dad

Guy I was friends with/dated very briefly and casually long ago did something monumentally stupid and ruined his life. I know it’s his fault, I know he brought this upon himself, but it actually breaks my heart. Haven’t spoken with him in a while, but I feel like the bad thing happened to me. Does anybody else feel like this? It’s exhausting and disorienting.

Hi everyone! I’m pretty sure I’m an HSP, and I could really use some advice on how to stop absorbing other people’s emotions and energy.

This is especially an issue with my mother-in-law, who genuinely sees me as a daughter. We work together and have a close relationship, but lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been carrying her emotional baggage as if it were my own. I’ve basically become her therapist.

She’s a very anxious and chaotic person, and I’m currently going through a rough patch mentally (I recently learned that I have C-PTSD). Right now, I feel like I can’t handle being around her or even talking to her because I end up feeling emotionally drained.

I’ve tried limiting contact, but that’s not really a sustainable long-term solution since we work together and are close.

I guess what I’m looking for is advice on how to emotionally detach from someone without having to cut them out of my life. I feel like there’s an energetic tie between us, and I want to learn how to stop taking on her emotions and feeling responsible for her well-being.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you learn to protect your own emotional space while maintaining a relationship with someone you care about? I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences.

I’m not even sure where to begin. I work a seasonal job 6 months on/6 months off and my coworkers are on the same schedule. We just wrapped up our season and all go our separate ways until April 2027. I haven’t seen any of the people I’m about to speak of in over 4 months and I won’t see them again until next April.

I moved to Alaska in 2024 for a relationship with someone who was also a direct coworker. She broke up with me after that season and I was left shattered. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person and made a life-altering move to the north to be with her. And now we’re living in the same small town and working the same exact job.

The next season in 2025 was tough, but I had Prozac on board and it changed my life for the better. The only problem was, it caused me unresolvable sleep issues and I had to quit it. The end of the 2025 season rolls around, I run into my ex, and all my wounds are ripped wiiiiiiiiiide open. During that winter offseason 2025-2026, I felt so much damn pain and tried reaching out to her for closure. I was so alone, so hurt, so confused - I just wanted her to see me and how hard the situation she left me in was. I would run into her in town constantly or see her passing by and it’s like a demon took over my body. I screamed and cried in pain. I continued reaching out to try to get closure. I didn’t understand- and still don’t understand- how someone can do what she did to someone else: toss them on their ass in winter in Alaska and say “good luck”?

Didn’t we mean anything? Didn’t I matter? She blocked me before work began.

As we rolled into work in Spring 2026, my approach was to just treat her with kindness; maybe that would help her remember I’m a good human who’s in a lot of pain. And so I killed her with kindness. Until it didn’t work. She continued to be cold to me. It was excruciating having to go into the office and hear her laughing and conversing with others, but wanting nothing to do with me. And so the breakdown began.

I don’t have many friends in Alaska - it’s something I’ve been working on but it’s especially challenging up here. My coworkers seemed interested in listening and supporting me. And so I went to them for help. I texted them from the bathroom crying because it hurt so much. But things keep getting worse day by day. I became suicidal. I got some leave approved and ghosted. They checked in on me but I was despondent. All I wanted was a conversation with my ex. They said there would never be one, she didn’t want to talk to me. I could not accept this.

One thing led to another and my coworkers started getting agitated with me, completely ignoring me, and snapping on me (one thought I rolled my eyes at her and LIT ME UP, but I didn’t roll my eyes at her!)

I just want to say: I don’t know how anyone expects someone to watch their ex, who destroyed them, be just fine every day at work. I feel everything DEEPLY and the amount of damage being done to my nervous system is hard to articulate. I know other HSPs will get it.
Also - I ASKED my coworkers continually if they were willing to be supports for me with this situation and they continued to say yes.

In the background of all this, I had been debating getting hip surgery. And with the way things were escalating at work, I decided to forego the season and bail. I left for surgery June 1st this year. And I haven’t heard from a single one of those coworkers since. Which is absolutely insane.

We were all like a family before. They’d check on me in a heartbeat. Now it’s been over four months and they, like my ex, have abandoned me.

All because I NEED one kind & compassionate conversation with my ex to work through things. Because I need to be seen by her. Because I need her to say “You took a huge chance for us and I appreciate that. I valued you and our time together. I want you to know you’re not alone. I see the pain I’ve caused and I know how hard this all must be.”

That’s it. And it’s all led to this utter fucking shit show where now no one at work wants anything to do with me. I used to be known as the good and kind person. Now I’m just alone and outcast.

So how the hell do I walk in there next April 2027? I don’t know how to be, how to act. I wear my heart on my sleeve - that is who I am, and it literally has never been an issue. I don’t mask, I don’t even understand the concept of just pretending it’s ok. It’s like asking a human to breathe under water.

Being myself wasn’t good enough or wanted. They don’t want ME. They want me to be someone I’m not. All I can think of is trying to go in and be 100% shut down, but how do I do that and be happy? How do I do that and not be considered toxic? I don’t want to be “polite” to these people. They fucking hurt me! I want them to know they hurt me. Just like I want my ex to know/acknowledge how much she hurt me.

What do i do? Both my therapists have told me that repair/amends is not an option because it could make things worse. I’m not willing to leave this gig because it’s the only job in the world that’s made for me. I found the dream job, but am now in the worst scenario possible as far as work environment.

I’m miserable as hell. Please help.

EDIT: I appreciate everyone’s advice and welcome it all. Just trying to digest before I respond.

I still don’t know how to approach coworkers next season. I feel unsafe around them now and like I don’t want anyone to know anything about me anymore. I want to be a brick wall because I was vulnerable with them and they don’t want me. I just don’t know what to do or how to go about this.
And yes, I’ve been in therapy for a long time. Just trying to get all feedback possible at this point.

Slightest misunderstanding, slightest upsetting words, and I m crying. I'm crying because someone I've been planning a roleplay with said we weren't compatible because a difference in style of writing. Now I feel like a failure. It is not the first time I cry because something that happen online. I even cried because my own overthinking in the past. Being so sensitive makes me toxic. I hate that during misunderstandings, I freeze and struggle to express myself even deeply which make everything worse.

I can’t stop and it makes me hate being a super sensitive person

Hi. As a 28 year old man. I feel confused about my gender identity . The pressure to be more overtly manly has increased as I have gotten older. I come from a background where there are very clear roles for what a man and woman are meant to be.

But looking as far back as my childhood I never beleived in it or wanted it. I didn't want to be macho, or be rich, or be dominant. I tended to enjoy softer things and mannerisms and I related to queer coded art and sensitivies.

The pain I feel now, is becuese in my family I have a male relatives that are diminishing me for not being manly enough by my age. And the conflict as eaten at me deeply..it hurts to not be accepted by your family, but it hurts even more to feel the burden of knowing who you are and still being unsure of it

They tell me I should be a provider, I should dominate, I should risk my life in fights for women in my life, and hold a untouchable frame otherwise I'm not enoguh in my own culture of origin .

Well..I am lost becuese I feel an urge to be accepted but I know I'm not that kind of guy. I like soft things and non dominering conneciton, I don't get pleasure out of winning..I get pleasure from connection and love. I hate pretending I'm not fallible or tired or scared . I have courage where it matters to me without peforming toughness

(Ive stood up for my loved ones in danegous scenarios and offer sacrifice for those I care about.. I am also going to cry on a Tuesday and then show softness instead of hardness)

I guess I'm ranting here bexuese I wish to know I belong somewhere regardless of not fitting the mold very well.

Maybe people relate

La hipocresía, aunque sea algo feo, a veces es necesaria para convivir. No siempre podemos expresar todo lo que pensamos, sentimos o somos, ni tenemos por qué hacerlo. A veces, adaptar nuestra expresión permite respetar las diferencias, evitar conflictos innecesarios y convivir con personas que queremos, incluso cuando no compartimos su manera de ver el mundo. El problema aparece cuando llevamos esa adaptación al extremo, cuando nos volvemos políticamente correctos en todo momento, repetimos opiniones populares o nos convertimos en un espejo que devuelve a cada persona lo que quiere ver. Esto también ocurre en la familia, donde, por cumplir expectativas, podemos terminar fingiendo ser quienes los demás esperan que seamos. Una cosa es adaptar nuestra expresión para convivir y otra es ocultar nuestra identidad para ser aceptados. Quizas no se trate de vivir sin máscaras, sino de poder utilizarlas sin depender de ellas, porque no toda sinceridad es necesaria, pero tampoco toda aceptación merece el precio de dejar de ser nosotros mismos

Anyone else not able to get over someone that you poured everything you had into the relationship with and it just ended over stupid things, and it been years and don’t know how to heal or move past the heartache… it’s been years and it still physically hurts

You lived your life and you hoped for better, you wanted to be able to feel, to breathe, to shout out loud your desires, your dreams, your hopes. You wanted to shoot it so loud everyone turned and stared at you. But it was all worth it, because one, just one, looked back and smiled.

You wrote your heart out. You poured it out to strangers across the sea, across a screen, whose only commonality with you was they shared the same sky and spoke using the same words. You took a chance, you put yourself out there, in places of judgment, in places of shame, in places of conflict. You did it because in your desperate hope, noone around you cared, noone listened, everyone thought you crazy. You wanted to find people who think like you, to find somewhere where, finally, finally you will belong. And the most needed words will finally be uttered : "you are not crazy"

You loved so deep, so strongly and you still do. In spite of all the stabs, in spite of all the wounds, in spite of the betrayals, the lies, you kept yourself kind. You kept yourself affectionate. You kept yourself gentle. And you are so right, so right to do so. It is so easy, so easy to turn to hatred, to turn to anger, to blame yourself, to lose yourself.

You tried your hardest to fix, to listen, to repair. You linked success with your worth. You stood in the storm, you took the hits, you let the sand cut your skin, you let those behind you feast without you, so you could keep watch to keep them safe. Only for them to stab you in your sleep. To cackle openly as you bled on the warm sands, that filled your cuts and hurt even more. And still, you watched them leave, not caring to look back, not caring to see. And you survived, you healed yourself, and found in this solitude the mirror of your heart, the reflection of your soul.

You were courageous, you did what this world frowns upon. You faced your demons, and instead of slaying them, you integrated them into you. Stand tall, be proud, shout it loud, and know this : "you are courageous and I am proud of you, of all of you"

Trigger Warning for talking about death

Also this is going to be quite long

I do not know how to get over it. Whenever I try conversing about it with others I feel like I lack a good explanation of why I hate the idea of growing up so much, but I will attempt to explain it anyways.

I don't get much joy from being a teen. It was a short-term excitement of growing up, but ever since then, I had only missed being a child. Some would argue that teens are still children, but for the sake of simplicity, when I say child I mean ages 5-11. Sometimes there will be a new and fun feeling of independence where I do something by myself, like driving. But those sorts of things don't do much to help me feel better. I've been told that around 23 years old, once the hormones stop messing with my head and I get used to my new body, I'll feel fine. I'm hoping, but doubting, that will be true.

I miss being able to just do whatever I felt like and have fun throughout the day as a child. Of course I had things that stressed me out like homework, being made to eat something I found gross, being bored, but those aren't nearly as bad as what teenhood has felt like to me. These days I'm lucky if I get more than an hour a week to myself, between homeschool, college, and family/friends. I still get some free time, but it's always with other people, and it doesn't really feel the same.

So if I can barely have free time now, what's adulthood going to be like? I'm just going to be doing even more college work and probably have a job that makes it even more difficult to keep up in school. Maybe once I finish school and get a secure job, I will finally be able to do the things I want to.

But even then, if I get all the free time I want, I really feel uncomfortable with the idea of being an adult. I don't know why exactly, but I really hate it. Maybe it's all the expectations that come with it and that I can't be a part of the "kids" anymore, and that I'll become a separate sort of thing that's supposed to be more mature.

I can't even go trick-or-treating anymore without being a weirdo, and I'll never be able to again. I've got an account on a website called Scratch where there are primarily kids. I've been on Scratch since I was 8, but since I've become a later teen I've been worried that I can be seen as a creep if I ever interact with younger kids, and this will be especially bad when I am 18+. And I love the website, I hate how other social websites are based on algorithms and I wish there was something else similar to Scratch. Most adults on this website, from what I've seen, either leave or don't talk to people anymore. But I really dislike the way other popular websites function.

Also all of the adult responsibilities. Having a job, making sure I have enough money to live, paying bills, being in charge of and maintaining my own home. I do not want to do any of this at all, but I have to because time's not stopping for anything. I already had to go through some pets passing away, which were frankly traumatizing experiences, and I currently have a living cat that I love so much, who will probably be gone in 4-6 years. He is laying right next to me, and always comes to me when I'm crying. I can't imagine life without him, but it was the same with the last pets. I was also a later child of my parents, I am really terrified of that fact. They are such an integral part of my life, how am I supposed to just peacefully live with the fact that they won't be around forever?

In general I really hate how fast time goes, it freaks me out. Months go by so fast and I never get the chance to do anything. My parents tell me that I *do* actually do a lot, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. I see so many teens writing books, making animations, learning new skills and hobbies. I've been wanting to make a comic for 4 years, but life keeps sweeping me away from the chance to do it. I don't even have a story developed, let alone any panels drawn. Maybe I could've used the time I spent writing this to try and build some comic story, but I know that I wouldn't be able to use an hour to come up with anything, I would be too stressed about the limited time and end up with nothing. It has happened before, I've tried. In reality though, if I weren't making this post I would instead be doing schoolwork or sleeping, since I can rarely ever finish school fast enough to get free time. I *should* be doing schoolwork right now, so that I can have a chance at finishing sooner, but instead I'm here hoping strangers can help me out with this. I was making so much more when I was younger and had enough time to spend all day on one project. I got summer breaks, where I didn't have to do any school. I loved switching homeschool, it definitely saved me from a lot of mental stress that was becoming unbearable and I'd go as far as to say that I needed to switch, but the fact that I get no summer breaks means I can't work on things like this.

I know I'm not supposed to be stuck in the past or care about the future so much, and that there's no possible way to go back in time to become a child again. But it still stresses me out so much. I don't really have much excitement for the future or the present. Only advantage of becoming an adult that I can think of is having my own money (if I get a good job) to make costumes/cosplays, which is a hobby I wanted to get into for while and can't because I don't have money or a crafting space. But that is certainly something that I could live without.

I don't want to be forever stuck missing something that I cannot even return to. And the years going by so fast are stressing me out a lot. So what am I even supposed to do?