Hiii! <3 (27F) As the title says, I am completely recovered from DPDR, and I wanted to come back and share my experience in case it gives someone a little hope.

I struggled with DPDR for about three years, from August 2019 to August 2022? more or less but it defs started Aug 2019 lol.. And when I say I was in the trenches, I mean it!! I experienced some of the worst symptoms I'd ever read about and genuinely believed I would never feel normal again. I was convinced I'd be stuck that way forever.

I tried just about everything. Every course you can think of, countless medications, endless research. I spent so much time on this subreddit and even joined a separate DPDR support website/Discord (not sure if it still exists lol). I was completely consumed by trying to find a way out.

Unfortunately, none of those things actually cured me. And I think that's one of the most important things I've learned from the experience. For me, DPDR wasn't the underlying problem. It was a symptom of something deeper that needed to be addressed. I spent years desperately trying to get rid of the feeling itself rather than understanding what was causing it. It wasn't until I started addressing those underlying issues that things began to change.

Fast forward to today, and I genuinely do not experience DPDR anymore. Something I once thought would ruin my life forever is now just a chapter of it.

I'm feeling a little loopy tonight which reminded me of DPDR and started thinking about how much these recovery posts meant to me when I was at my absolute worst. I remember desperately searching for proof that people actually got better, so I figured it was time to come back and give a little of that hope to someone else.

Anyway, ask me anything! I'll answer as much as I can. :)

I'm a cashier and the bright fluorescent lights trigger me so bad I have to put my sweater hood on. It helps but it's just so disorienting. Has anyone been through this before and if so what have you done to help? Thank u!!

Hey everyone,

I’m gonna start off when I was diagnosed with DPDR around 6 years ago. I was still in Middle School, and I was struggling with loneliness, and I developed the condition probably as a result of the trauma of being lonely after moving to a new country two years prior. I refused to be treated and tried to pretend like nothing was wrong.

You might think I’ll be talking about how the rest of my life since has been pure loneliness and isolation, and I’m near the end of my wits now venting, but that wasn’t the case. The next year, I began making friends and for all of high school I had a big incredible friend group that I could always have fun with. Truly, some of the best friends I could ever ask for. However, I never talked about any of my issues with them because I feared judgement. I should’ve, and they would’ve listened, but I didn’t.

I’m now a freshman in college, adjusting to my new life, and while it has been difficult finding new friends and starting again, that isn’t what this post is about.

I’ve realized that throughout high school, I never really had a crush on anyone. I never even looked around and would think a girl was attractive. I just simply wouldn’t even register it. I don’t think I was asexual, because in movies (and to be blunt, porn), I would be able to find a hot girl to be a hot girl. At the end of high school, I went to prom with a friend of mine. She was pretty, but I never had any feelings for her before, but ultimately, I developed a crush on her but given I had never felt this sort of attraction to anyone before, I screwed things up and we never dated. Regardless, it was probably too late anyways.

Now, I feel so paralyzed by this feeling of lost youth. I had friends, I had good times, but I didn’t experience this cornerstone of teenage life. And not the traditional way, where people may be bitter that none of the girls they crushed on liked them back, but I truly just didn’t feel for anyone. Mentally, I was so wrapped up in fantasies and dreams, and I was so detached from my own reality, that I actually couldn’t recognize the people around me.

This might just be a chaotic vent, but I wanted to know if anyone had similar feelings. I’ve decided to finally check in to therapy, and possibly try medication, but there is this stinging feeling in my heart now that I lost these precious years. Please comment if you have anything to say, there’s a lot more to say that I can’t fit in one post and would love to get a better understanding of my condition.

TLDR; never felt attraction for people around me in high school, and only just developing this idea of attraction now as a freshman in college. Feel stunted and emotionally empty.

On top of all the "normal" depersonalization symptoms I have trouble reading, trouble forming sentences and remembering words, trouble typing, it feels like I'm forgetting English and my brain is degenerating. I also have a weird weakness sensation in the left side of my face and left arm/hand. I have headaches everyday. These things have been freaking me out so bad. I've had a bunch of tests including EKG, CT scan, blood tests and optic nerve tests, everything so far has been normal. I just want to know if anyone has had these symptoms? I'm struggling everyday.

Hey everyone,

I am 17 years old, turning 18 soon. My life is completely ruined by VSS, HPPD, and DPDR. if you happen to read this and think "what does this have to do with migraines" vss and hppd are like the biggest causers of migraines, I cant even be in my own room or glance at a light for a second without a horrible headache so by helping with this you're helping yourself possibly.

Every waking second of my life is hell and spiritual suffering that nobody else can see. My brain is flooded with heavy visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and extreme sound sensitivity. My filter for background noise is turned ALL the way off. I am doing horrible in school, I cry every single day, and I can barely go outside anymore. I wanted to work at NASA, but now I feel like my life is over before it even began.

I am sick of sitting around waiting years for a machine (rTMS) that is already built and deployed in clinics right now. The research out of the University of Colorado Anschutz shows it works to calm the cortical hyperexcitability. The only thing holding us back is a timeline and how fast they're moving.

If we flood their inboxes with our stories and remind them that our combined subreddits have over 100,000 subscribers ready to hand them money, they will have to look at the financial demand.

Please take a couple minutes to copy the emails down so that we can make the change sooner. it would save my life and many others.

first is the FDA

Send To: [AskOICE@fda.hhs.gov](mailto:AskOICE@fda.hhs.gov)

CC: [CDRH_PatientEngagement@fda.hhs.gov](mailto:CDRH_PatientEngagement@fda.hhs.gov)

Subject: URGENT PATIENT APPEAL: Fast Track rTMS for VSS and HPPD

this is the letter to copy

To the FDA Office of Industry and Consumer Education,

My name is [Name], I am [Age] years old, and I am contacting you to beg with all of my soul for immediate regulatory intervention and more urgency regarding a health crisis affecting millions of people worldwide.

I live with Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). These are devastating, non stop neurological filtering disorders. Every waking second of my life is hell. My brain is flooded with intense visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and horrible sound sensitivity. My brain has entirely lost its ability to filter background noise, turning every single day into a waking nightmare. It completely takes away our quality of life and affects sanity, friendships, and life itself.

I need to make it clear that HPPD usually comes with a condition called DPDR (Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder), which completely disconnects you from your body and the world around you. This is detrimental to our lives. I read an article that said 72 percent of people with dissociative disorders attempt suicide because it completely takes away your quality of life. We are losing our lives and sanity.

New data from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus proves that targeting cortical hyperexcitability via repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) is a safe and viable way to stabilize and maybe even cure VSS and HPPD. Because rTMS machines are already widespread and deployed in clinics for depression, the machines already exist. We are just being held back by a timeline.

I am desperately urging the FDA to aggressively utilize its breakthrough devices program to fast track status for rTMS clinical protocols for VSS and HPPD. There is a massive online patient network, including over 100,000 combined subscribers across the r/HPPD and r/visualsnow subreddits, full of consumers whose lives are completely on hold, ruined, or in some cases ended. We cannot wait until 2032 or longer for a machine to be upgraded that we already have widespread. Please help to save our sanity.

Sincerely,

[Name]

the other targets are BRAINSWAY & MAGVENTURE

Send To: DeepTMS@brainsway.com, info@brainsway.com

CC: [info@magventure.com](mailto:info@magventure.com)

Subject: Unmet Market Demand: Fast Track rTMS Protocols for VSS and HPPD

Letter to Copy:

Dear Clinical Research and Business Development Team,

My name is [Name]. I am [Age] years old, and I am writing to bring to your attention a massive entirely untreated or even glanced at condition that represents a great financial investment for your company.

I live with HPPD and Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS). These are devastating, non stop neurological filtering disorders. Every waking second of my life is hell. My brain is flooded with heavy visual static, neon colors, bright halos around lights, tinnitus, and extreme sound sensitivity. My filter for background noise is turned ALL the way off. I can barely focus past the background noise and blaring headaches. HPPD also comes with DPDR (Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder), which completely disconnects you from your body and the world, ruining personalities, friendships, and sanity. I read an article that noted 72 percent of people with dissociative disorders attempt suicide due to this severe lack of quality of life.

New data from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus has proven that targeting cortical hyperexcitability via rTMS is a safe and viable way to stabilize and maybe even cure VSS and HPPD. As the device manufacturer, you are sitting on the solution. The machine is already built and deployed; what we are missing are the protocol settings to target the visual cortex and temporoparietal targets.

To give you an idea of the immediate market, this is fantastic for you financially. On Reddit alone, the r/visualsnow and r/hppd communities have over 100,000 combined subscribers begging for a fix. This would be incredible for you financially. By aggressively backing trials or fast tracking a protocol update for VSS/HPPD, you can position yourselves as the undisputed global leader and first to market provider for a massive, desperate, suffering population. You would be heroes to thousands. You already have this hardware manufactured, so please consider fast tracking to get them to save more people.

Sincerely,

[Name]

I've made quite a lot of progress coming back into my body. The relief is amazing. However, as I have more access to my feelings, I feel so much of loss, anger, and sadness over the past 4 years I've lost. I can't believe this happened to me. I can't believe I missed my 30th birthday. Although I am grateful to feel things again, I can't believe how ungrateful I was for my life before this.

was driving one day, thinking about how i’m not real, as i do, and this song came on and as i listened to the lyrics i just really resonated with it and it made me feel better, like i wasn’t alone. and who knows maybe it was a sign from the universe. so i thought id pass it on. give it a listen, (it’s called saturn by sza)

Has anyone had this strange occasional feeling with dpdr, as they are listening to a podcast or watching a movie, where the voice of the person in question almost sounds like your own, or as your watching a movie your brain kind of glitches and it feels like your watching yourself on screen? Of course my reality testing is intact and recognize that of course I’m not these people and these people aren’t me, I don’t think I’m having delusions. But it’s like a weird brain glitch where I get this feeling that I’m listening to myself talk or that I’m watching myself in the movie, idk this is such a niche weird symptom, I don’t expect anyone to be able to relate. Maybe the added context that I’m deathly afraid of becoming psychotic might help.

I woke up today feeling incredibly anxious, paranoid, and just had a terrible gut feeling. The park near me is a massive trigger, but I wanted to face my fears and overcome it, so I decided to skip first period to go sit on the swings.
Mind you, the swings are exactly where I had a massive, traumatic "green out" a few months ago. As soon as I got there, the memory triggered my body completely. Suddenly, my depth perception broke: the swings and the floor looked tiny, miniature, and way closer to me than they actually were. Then, my vision literally turned into a 2D Roblox game. I am not exaggerating or using a metaphor—the textures on the floor literally flattened into blocky, rigid Lego/Roblox grids.
My soul felt like it left my body, and it felt like I was trapped in a completely different reality. As I tried to walk, my vision started lagging and freezing, like my eyes couldn't capture my movements in real time. It looked exactly like a choppy, flat, AI-generated video or a first-person video game.
This extreme visual shift only lasted for a few seconds, but it felt awful and terrifying. About an hour later, it spiraled into a massive panic attack. I've had other incidents lately where things turn small, my vision feels like I'm completely on drugs, and I go entirely out of body. The closest way I can describe it to anyone is that it feels exactly like I'm greening out all over again, even though I am completely sober.
Has anyone else experienced literal, geometric, and blocky visual transformations during severe panic attacks or DPDR? I feel so lost and terrified that my brain is stuck like this.

I woke up today feeling incredibly anxious, paranoid, and just had a terrible gut feeling. The park near me is a massive trigger, but I wanted to face my fears and overcome it, so I decided to skip first period to go sit on the swings.
Mind you, the swings are exactly where I had a massive, traumatic "green out" a few months ago. As soon as I got there, the memory triggered my body completely. Suddenly, my depth perception broke: the swings and the floor looked tiny, miniature, and way closer to me than they actually were. Then, my vision literally turned into a 2D Roblox game. I am not exaggerating or using a metaphor—the textures on the floor literally flattened into blocky, rigid Lego/Roblox grids.
My soul felt like it left my body, and it felt like I was trapped in a completely different reality. As I tried to walk, my vision started lagging and freezing, like my eyes couldn't capture my movements in real time. It looked exactly like a choppy, flat, AI-generated video or a first-person video game.
This extreme visual shift only lasted for a few seconds, but it felt awful and terrifying. About an hour later, it spiraled into a massive panic attack. I've had other incidents lately where things turn small, my vision feels like I'm completely on drugs, and I go entirely out of body. The closest way I can describe it to anyone is that it feels exactly like I'm greening out all over again, even though I am completely sober.
Has anyone else experienced literal, geometric, and blocky visual transformations during severe panic attacks or DPDR? I feel so lost and terrified that my brain is stuck like this it looks like a ai or Roblox game.

Toda vez que fumo maconha eu entro no estado de dp/dr lembro que no início eu fumava e ficava tranquilo aquela brisa boa, mas teve um certo dia que fiquei chapado e fui fazer um experimento do espelho, não sei quanto de vocês já ouviram falar disso (é você se encarar por muito tempo no espelho quando você está totalmente chapado, isso faz com que vc meio que desconecte da realidade e até veja coisas que seu cérebro vai inventar) não foi eu que inventei isso, O psicólogo italiano responsável pelos experimentos clássicos de olhar fixo no espelho (e nos olhos) que desencadeiam alucinações e distorções perceptivas é Giovanni Caputo. depois pesquisam vão achar interessante, desde esse dia que percebo que quando fumo entre em despersonalização e desrealização, sabe aquela sensação de nada parecer real e sim parecer um cenário, vocês sabem como é, ao mesmo tempo que acho interessante, acho também muito ruimm porque quando estou assim me sinto um estranho no ninho e não consigo me socializar quando estou enfrentando esse episodio.

Contem seus relatos sobre seus episódios de DP/DR e como você lida com isso?

Não usem isso para incentiar os outros a terem episodios de dp/dr.

Hi guys, I'm 29M from India, and I've been struggling with these experiences for years. I didn't even know DPDR was a thing until recently.

I had a few episodes during my childhood, but my first major episode happened in my final year of college in 2017 after I smoked weed. Initially, I thought it was just a bad trip that would eventually go away, but the feeling never completely left.

I'm not sure how to explain it properly, but it feels like I'm suddenly disconnected from reality. During these episodes, I feel confused about everything — who am I, what am I, what is consciousness, and what is this reality I'm experiencing? It's almost as if nothing exists or makes sense anymore, and the entire world feels completely different.

I can still function using my memories and do my daily activities, but internally, something feels fundamentally different. It's hard to put into words. Eventually, I come back to my senses, but that strange, disconnected feeling continues in the background.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication for almost 10 years. The medication has helped suppress these experiences to some extent, and I've found some relief, but I never felt like my connection to reality fully returned to how it was before.

Recently, due to family problems and stress, these episodes have started coming back more intensely. That's when I started searching for answers and eventually found this subreddit. Reading about other people's experiences has given me some hope that I'm not alone in this.

For those of you who experience DPDR:

• Can you relate to the feeling of suddenly questioning who you are, what consciousness is, and whether anything feels real?
• Do you also feel like you can function normally using your memories, even though your internal experience of reality feels completely different?
• What has helped you cope with these episodes and feel connected to reality again?

I'm trying to understand what I'm experiencing and learn how to manage it better. I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences and what has helped you.

Hi everyone. i first experienced DPDR at the end of 2024. I continued to work, start the gym, and go on with my life and it eventually faded by the beginning of 2025. I was able to live my life with it being in the background and barely having it for the entire 2025 and most of 2026. However it came back full on at the end of August. I believe I just had a stressful day…and a weird thought came into my mind about “focusing on my first person POV and how it looked weird.” anyways, that brought on the DPDR and usually when I had those thoughts I’d get distracted and it’ll pass but it didn’t because this time my brain didn’t let itself get distracted?? If that makes sense. Every time I stopped thinking about it, my brain would be like “No don’t get distracted, focus on it. And ever since then I’ve been in a bad episode.

At the end of September I started to feel a little better but that thought about not being distracted has came back and it’s been almost a week. From the moment I wake up to the moment I gts, I’m thinking about how I can’t be distracted and how i’ll never recover. Has anyone else had this distressing thought? Idk if the DPDR made me form OCD but I’m not diagnosed with it. I just need advice and I want it to go away. :( It’s like as soon as I was about to feel better again, the thought became constant. It’s almost torture and has been causing me to cry everyday. I don’t want to deal with this for years. Even when I do find myself getting distracted for like 1 minute, my brain is like “No, think of this scary thought. You’ll never be distracted again.”

If you’re experiencing unfamiliar or frightening symptoms and wondering “Is this DPDR?” or “Does anyone else feel this?”, this is the right place to ask.

We’ve moved symptom-check questions into this weekly thread because constant comparison and reassurance-seeking can unintentionally keep DPDR and anxiety stuck. This space lets you get support without turning the whole subreddit into symptom scanning.

A few things to keep in mind:

DPDR looks different for everyone

Similar symptoms can have many causes

Replies here are shared experiences, not medical diagnoses

If you’re new or feeling overwhelmed, we recommend starting with the Official DPDR Resource Guide, which explains DPDR, common symptoms, and recovery in one place:

👉 Official DPDR Resource Guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/zdzqob/rdpdrs_official_resource_guide/

Tips for using this thread:

Ask your question once and try not to re-check repeatedly

Share briefly rather than listing every symptom

Focus on grounding and next steps, not symptom counting

If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please use the crisis resources in the sidebar.

You’re not doing anything wrong by being scared or confused — this thread is here to hold those questions while keeping the rest of the sub recovery-focused.

I'm seeing neurologist tomorrow and want to ask about it. As things are really really bad and very physical.

So this doesnt seem to be so common with other people here though I think for me it is a by product of dpdr. I experience my entire head as a texture. Like something went wrong from the minute I woke up after the traumatic incident. I no longer perceive anything the same or return to any type of baseline. Ive had things like a burning head, bubble sensation head, furry head, feathery head, cotton head and the worst this dry feeling inside and outside my head. It is like no substance to it. It’s weird. I don’t know if these are somatosensory or functional sensory disturbances, and I don’t know how to cure them. No doctor has said there is medication for this. Now I have mainly dry head and only really sense a tiny bit of it and my hair but that is it of my entire body. And each day it’s like my nervous system burns out more so I loose more even hourly. I swear since I took that med it made it worse and things deteriorated much faster. I have no idea what to do I feel things will end badly if I don’t find a way to help it now.

I just need to vent, because this is the only place where people could possibly understand me.

Im 19, and I live with my mom. She's a conspiracy theorist. Ever since i was 11, she would always talk about it. (And they did come out to be true, though, i never doubted her anyway.)

But lately i cannot take it. I've talked about it countless times. I say, do not talk to me about the conspiracy, i just want to think about simple daily life stuff. She says ah okay. Then keeps talking about it

A few days ago, maybe weeks, maybe months, i don't remember, we were chatting, she kept talking about the bullshit again. Not that i don't believe her. That's the problem. I do believe her.

I said stop, let me live like an NPC. I quoted Neo from The matrix "I don't believe in fate because i don't like feeling as if i can't control my life" or whatever the f he said, i don't remember.

Then she just kept going, and kept going, AFTER I QUOTED THAT, SHE SAID, "time isn't real, everything in your life already happened, you're just watching it." I couldn't take it anymore and i started sobbing (seemingly out of nowhere to her.)

And she didn't talk to me for 2 days or something. I said, do u wanna drink tea with me? She said, no i don't want to talk to you because no matter what i say you start crying and idk why.

????

I only cry when she's very rude to me or she keeps talking about stuff that she knows i want nothing to do with.

It makes me so sad, she just sees me as a pathetic loser that cries over nothing.

I don't want to hear it. I don't. Anytime i talk about how i feel "i feel like i live in the matrix, like nothing is real" she says, "yeah, because nothing is real, and we live in the matrix" genuinely what is your goal? What are you trying to do to me?