After making that perfect grilled cheese that your kid specifically asked for and doesn’t want anymore, just put it right in the trash! Same with the banana and any other produce.

You’ll save so much time, you might even be able to eat your lukewarm leftovers before the kids are napping! No more minutes wasted pleading and offering. Just put loose cereal on any flat surface and get on with your day.

Edit: This sub really needs a humor / satire flair. And my son eventually ate half!

I wanted to reach out to the dads here. I’m not sure what to say other than offer encouragement to keep going and not give up. I lost my dad 10 years ago. He took his life after battling personal demons and alcoholism for 20 years. I wish he knew how much love was there. I wish he felt it. I still have so much of it. I thought I’d give some here.

Idk if this is the right sub but it’s worth an attempt to say:

As a dad, I’m proud of this community and you guys for seeing the end of every fucking day.

We do dad shit. We piss off of the porch and eat beef jerky. We can strap anything to a trailer and show the whole neighborhood how to back it up.

We are persistent assholes and, if you’re anything like me, your own hubris kicks your ass more than anything else.

Three dads in a garage can fix anything, and that’s my hill. Even still, knowing when to work on ourselves isn’t always clear. It’s okay to need a break. It’s okay to not have all of the answers. Just like anything, take it one piece at a time. One piece is enough.

Please reach out to someone if you don’t know where to start. We can’t live with you, but nobody should live without you.

Much love and godspeed

I for one, am shocked at this representation

I know people will probably judge me, but I honestly just need some perspective from other dads because I can't focus on work and my stomach has been in knots for three hours.

It happened at 7:45 this morning. We were already running twenty minutes behind, my wife is out of town for work, and I had a client call at 8:30. My son decided today was the day he would refuse shoes, throw his jacket across the kitchen, and go completely dead-weight on the entryway floor laughing. I tried the calm gentle parenting voice. I tried turning it into a game. Nothing worked.

I just broke. I grabbed his backpack, slammed it onto the bench, and shouted "GET UP AND PUT YOUR SHOES ON RIGHT NOW!" at teh top of my lungs.

His little smile vanished. His chin trembled, his eyes welled up, and he scrambled to put his shoes on backwards without saying a word. The entire drive to daycare was dead silence. When I dropped him off, he clung to my leg quietly sniffling before his teacher took him.

i had to peel his little fingers off my jeans and walk away. Now it's mid-morning, I'm sitting at my desk, and i feel like the most cowardly monster alive. How do you live with yourself knowing your kid is sitting in daycare thinking his dad hates him?

My wife and I both work from home 8 am to 5 pm. We have a 2.5 year old daughter. The trouble is that my wife seemingly avoids spending time with her any chance she gets. It all started with her saying she wanted to sleep in more. I had no problem with it because I am a morning person. So from 6 am until I start work at 8 I play with my daughter. Sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we make pancakes, sometimes we just play dolls in her room.

My wife and I get off at 5 and her nanny leaves, my wife will play with our daughter for 30 minutes and then come up with any excuse to leave the room. "oh I'm hungry I am going to go eat." "Oh I need to go do my skincare routine." "Oh my sister is calling I'm going to the other room to talk to her on the phone."

So from 5:30 until she goes to bed it's usually me playing with her. Mom does do the bedtime routine and put her to sleep. When it comes to doing the rules based stuff she's all for it. And it doesn't get better on weekends. Mom will go out with girlfriends, or even ask grandma to come watch her and take me out with her.

It's starting to be so bad when my wife does try to interact with our daughter she says things like "no mommy I want to be with daddy."

Today, she did it again and I blew up. She put our daughter in the bathtub and then called me to come in there and play bubbles with her because she was hungry and wanted to go eat. I said fine and she could tell I was annoyed so she offered to stay. Only this time my daughter said "no mommy go I want to be with daddy." I finally snapped and told me wife of course she wants to be with me you avoid her every chance you get.

Honestly if I knew having kids with this woman would be like this I would have never done it. She was the one who had to convince me to have a child. I was content without one. Now that she's here I don't regret her but I'm starting to really resent my wife.

I'm a single dad - my wife died a little over two years ago. I don't feel like I always crush it but in this instance my chest is puffing out a bit.

My son (13m) really wanted a game table for his birthday. Foosball/air hockey/table tennis/poker. 4-in-1. We had one already but it was like a $60 Walmart special we bought several years ago now and it was really cheap and falling apart.

So I said yes - but - our basement is unbelievably cluttered with toys that we haven’t purged since he was like 4. And he already created a two-net soccer field in one half of the basement, which forced everything else to the other side. Complete horror show.

So the deal was I get a Bagster (mini-dumpster with soft sides if you don't know what this is - Waste Management comes and picks it up) and he can recruit friends to help him purge a bunch of stuff. I paid $20/kid. Fill the Bagster and fill my car with donations. And we'll get it built before his birthday.

I had to supervise more than I wanted, but they finished and then they built the brand new table without my help. There are two boys are staying over for a sleepover and they played some foosball and air hockey before settling into poker. Reminds me of my own poker games in my middle school days.

Helluva productive first day of October school break. Not sure when the last time he's had friends over for 10 hours and not once have they played video games was. Probably never. Boys learning some life skills and responsibility. And I got my basement cleaned out and a complicated game table built for $80. Enjoying the bourbon tonight.

Is anyone else annoyed every time they have to fill a bottle in a dark room? Why oh why are the labels on the graduations white? If the same people choosing the label colors are the same people ensuring they are BPA free then I am more than a little concerned...

Help. This has been going on for 6 months and I am running out of ideas, but know it won’t last forever so need to make the most of it. This morning all I could think of was “Mommy! I want a Nixon tattoo!”. I’m really scratching the bottom of the barrel here.

Adding small paver patio to backyard because AC unit needed replaced, and had them put new unit on side of house, so now have space that needs filled, but isn't conducive to growing anything, so pavers work best. Anyways, did the Dad/husband thing and asked the bosses (wife/son) what they liked best. Settled on these small pavers. Again, dadded it out and calculated i needed ~150 to fill the space. Did the trip to HD, got the stuff, got back home and hit the apex of my daddom. To save myself 28 trips to backyard, and my back, I used my son's ride on car either remote control to haul the pavers out back. Did it look/feel ridiculous? Yes. Did it save me half the trips? Also yes. Am I ashamed? No. As I told my wife, its only stupid if it doesn't work.

I’m curious to hear from dads about what made you feel ready to have kids, especially if you weren’t someone who always dreamed of being a father.
On a scale of 0–10, where 0 is “I’m 21, ready to party, HELL NO” and 10 is “Let’s start trying TOMORROW,” where were you when you decided to have kids?

My husband and I are both 32, together for 11 years, married almost 5. We own a home, have established careers, and are pretty settled in life. Ideally, we’d like a little more career growth and to finish some home projects before trying, but I’m starting to wonder if we’re just moving the goalposts.

We’re both around a 6–7, although I occasionally hit an 8.

Something my husband has said that I find interesting is that he wants kids with me, but hasn’t necessarily always wanted kids in general. For him, it’s more about wanting to build a family with the right person than having an innate desire to become a dad.

Which got me wondering: Do men ever experience that overwhelming “I want a baby NOW” feeling, or is becoming a father more of a conscious decision?

For those of you who started at a 6/7, did you ever make it to a 9/10? How long did that take? Did your wife get there first and wait for you, or were you actually the more eager one?
And looking back, did something flip the switch, or did you just realize you’d never feel completely ready?

I’d love to hear your experiences, especially from dads who once felt the way my husband does now.

My son is seven weeks old. Before he arrived, everyone told me that the second he was born, this magical switch would flip in my brain and I’d feel this overwhelming cinematic flood of fatherly love. My wife had that connection immediately.

I just... didn’t. And I still dont.

I take care of him constantly. I do the 2:00 AM diaper blowouts, I pace the living room rocking him when he screams, and I make sure my wife is resting. But emotionally, I feel like a sleep-deprived night-shift employee taking care of a very fragile, loud roommate that doesnt even know I exist. I make sure he’s safe, but that magical lightning bolt hasn't hit.

I was staring at him in his bassinet around 3 AM during teh witching hour, and I just felt completely numb and exhausted. Then the wave of guilt hit me like a freight train.

Did anyone else go through this in the beginning? When does the bond actually click, or is there genuinely something broken in me?

It was just a quick appointment close by. I don’t need the whole bag with spare clothes, toys, bottles, medicines, and everything I’ll just bring the fanny pack that has diaper changes and fruit pouches.

What do you guys think happened?

My 3 year old threw a bunch of art supplies, unsorted mail, and dry cereal across the kitchen while my wife was preparing a meal. Wife came to me in the back of the house and asked if we could return him and find a less destructive model. (not easy after my undergoing an elective outpatient procedure a few years ago)

I thought a moment to consider the physical impossibility that would require to attempt literally.

Then I responded: “Well, there’s that fire station across the neighborhood - it’s a safe drop site, no questions asked - but he’s good at escaping and could probably find his way home.” (completely joking, of course)

By the time we had started considering safe drop sites further away he had picked up some of the mess and made some other sweet gesture that included hugs so I guess we’ll keep him.

I’ve been on paternity leave since August, set to go back probably November first and I’m bummed! Not only because I’ll be missing my new baby, but because I absolutely love my wife. These past few months have just reinforced our love for each other and how much we love being around each other.

No, I’m not complaining about going back to work, as I know it’s something that’s gotta be done. I’m just going to miss being around my best friend all day everyday.

Have a good night my dudes!

Why won’t anyone in this family turn the damn lights off when they leave a room!!?

Hi Dads. I have a 2.5-year-old who is a great kid and a lot of fun. Unfortunately, like most kids, he is occasionally possessed by the mischief demon and does incredibly dumb things.

I'm a very calm, patient dad. I don't think I've ever raised my voice in anger with the little guy. Sometimes, though, I feel like I have to yell, not because I'm angry but just to get his attention in the middle of an act of chaos. Is that the right reaction?

A couple of examples from yesterday that spurred this post:

1) I was carrying dishes from the dining room table to the dishwasher. I came around the corner with an armful of plates and saw him lifting the half-full rack of dishes off the rails and trying to dump it out on the floor. I said, "Hey, stop that" and he kept going, so I yelled, "HEY! HEY! NO! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!"

2) A little while later, I was across the room and he was playing near our dog. They are normally best buds, but this time I saw him get a mischievous look, rear back, and smack the dog in the side. As he pulled back his hand to do it again, I shouted, "<NAME>, NO! DO NOT HIT HER!" and ran across the room and hauled him away.

(Fortunately, our dog is a saint. She just looked at him sadly, which I felt terrible about. She got several treats.)

This stuff normally happens every few days, and I know it's standard kid behavior. Afterwards, he's always upset, and I calmly explain why I had to stop him, and give him a hug. I just feel bad about yelling and always wonder if there's a better way to handle it.

Anyway, I'm probably overthinking things. Please let me know what you think, and feel free to share your kid's latest act of chaos.

Heavy breakfast before school. It's exam week . Next week on friday they start a long holiday

Is when your children are not acting like well-parented kids

Super early days so blasting this out anonymously to the interwebs since we can't tell people yet Looks like number 2 is on the way! It's what we wanted, but still a bit in shock, especially since the first IVF round failed. We have a 2.5 year old who is fully hitting her stride in being a toddler...the meltdowns are topnotch, she speaks and walks like a drunk, and her favorite word is 'nope'. It's so much fun.

Of course, I went to planning and creating a list of what needs to get done instead of being happy for a bit, so need to make up to the wife for that, but otherwise, I'm really really nervous, but excited.

So back in April my daughter lost her favorite kitten stuffie. We looked everywhere for it. We decided, with her, to keep an eye out in stores to see if we'd come across the same stuffie, hanging out with new friends and bring her home from the store, we expected her to forget about it.

Well fast forward to now, we haven't seen the stuffie again in stores, she talks about finding her stuffie every week, she saves things for her, builds things for her possible return.

I'm wondering what the other dads think, do I just keep helping her through this loss, she's in good spirits about it, very matter of fact .. or just buy the damn kitten again and pretend maybe she's been out in the woods for the summer, this isn't her first loss, our dog died when she was 2, still says she misses him when she sees pictures of him.

Need advice. My 5YO son has a stubborn streak that is ruining entire days for us and today I snapped. He will just shut down, indefinitely "No, I'm not getting up." "No I won't go to school.", etc. He'll physically resist something like putting his shoes on, and will take them off as soon as we get them on, etc. He won't even take a bribe like candy, etc.

He started Pre-K this year at public school, which has been rough. Last week we took him and sister (7) out of school to go to Disneyworld, which in hindsight was stupid. It wrecked the routine we just built, and somehow has supercharged his stubbornness. Yesterday, he refused to get out of the car and my wife had to ask a teacher to carry him in. Because of that and because I'm off work today, she asked me to take him in. He refused to put on shoes so I grabbed a pair of crocs and carried him to the car seat. He then kept unbuckling his car seat, but couldn't get the bottom - so I drove him to school half unbuckled.

He refused to put his crocs on. Stupid, I should have put on shoes, they are harder to take off. But he can kick crocs off as fast as I can put them on. I took my daughter in, and came back to him in the car. I tried reasoning. I tried offering him candy when we got home. I explained to him that school isn't a choice, he legally has to go, etc. He just sullenly said "No" every few seconds. We missed the bell, so I sent a quick email he'd be late. I told him we'd sit in the car, not doing anything fun, not going anywhere, just sit there - and every 5 minutes he would lose a toy. 35 minutes later he was still saying "No" so I tried to physically force him again, and I fucked up - I yelled at him loudly, I was rough putting his crocs on (which he just kicked off again) and I squeezed his leg hard enough that I am sure it hurt. I yelled at him as he cried and then we sat there 15 more minutes in silence.

Finally I got out and sat in the back seat and calmly explained, again, that he has to go to school or a truancy officer will come, and we can both get in big trouble. He kept saying no but he let me put his crocs on and carry him into the office. Once there, he got on the floor and refused to move. I was embaressed and trying to whisper-reason with him while the admins just kinda looked at me. I asked for help. They said they couldn't. After another 10 minutes of me trying to reason with him, one of the assistants took him. My son stood up, took his hand, and went in.

I felt like shit all day. My chest was tight with anger until around noon and then it hit me that I had yelled at him and probably hurt him, at which point I felt guilty and terrible. When he came home, I told him I was sorry I lost my temper, I asked if I hurt him when I squeezed his leg, (he said yes) and I told him it's not OK for daddy's to do that. That losing your temper is never the answer. I also told him his behavior wasn't acceptable, and that I had locked his paw-patrol and dinosaur toys away, which he could get back when he started being good to go to school. I asked him if he understood. He didn't look at me but said he was never going to go to school.

No effect. Both the reasonable punishment, and my own stupid temper, no effect. I don't know what I do with a kid that just shuts down. He's done this his entire life; he won't fight or act out, he'll just refuse to do the thing. But the last 3 days of stubbornness is unlike anything I ever remember seeing as a kid.

What do I do...

Hey everyone. I’m solo parenting my two kids (8yo daughter and 4yo son) this week and next while my wife - who I am currently going through a divorce with -is working away.
I pride myself on being a hands-on, affectionate dad. But the burnout this week has been catastrophic, and it's making me rage and yell at my kids. I just plain hate myself for it.
Between intense work during the day, late nights getting them to bed, and doing all the household chores and clean-up alone, I am not getting enough sleep. By the time I finally sit down, it’s late, and the cycle starts all over again the next morning.
Tonight, things hit a breaking point. The kids were fighting and yelling, and I had a blinding headache that wouldn't quit. My 4yo was acting up, and I completely exploded, yelling at him to "just shut up."
He burst into tears and flinched in fear.
Seeing him flinch broke something inside me. The guilt and shame are almost suffocating. It’s done, I can't take it back, and I feel like a terrible father…and it may well happen again tomorrow. I see a lot of advice online about "walking out of the room" when you feel angry, but when this rage hits, it feels almost involuntary. I would never, ever hit my children, but the verbal explosions are destroying me and scaring them.
How do I pull myself out of this tailspin for the rest of this week and next? How do parents survive this level of acute burnout without losing their cool? Any advice, or even just knowing I'm not the only one who has hit this dark place, would really help.

I've recently become a stay-at-home dad, I love it. It's probably the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. With that being said, the porch has been my mortal enemy. It's very disorganized, there's nowhere to put stuff and I can NEVER keep it clean. It's stuck in a loop. WWYD?

My daughter (2) loves matching shirts with me. It started somewhat accidentally when my wife ordered me a Bluey shirt and then separately an unrelated Bluey shirt for my daughter a month later (around 1.5 years old). Immediately my daughter made the connection and asked for "Daddy Bluey shirt" and so our first matching shirts began. For father's day my wife got us matching pizza shirts (she has 1 slice on hers, and my shirt has the remaining pizza).

We were gearing up for Disney and I got her a Spider-Man shirt, of which I have a few. So now we have to match Spider-Men shirts.

Practically every other day she asks to match shirts (of course we don't do laundry nearly that fast), but this trend has continued for months now. It's adorable and I love it. Does anyone else's kids do this? Am I just humble bragging? Please tell me I'll be 80, drooling, and in diapers and my daughter will still show up to the old folks home in matching pizza shirts.