Hey guys,

I’m ok, and I think it’s just the exhaustion from my wife’s increasingly straining pregnancy over the past few months (a ton of back and pelvic pain and poor sleep), on top of not sleeping almost at all for the past 23 hours. But, I feel scared. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have a son! But I feel very conflicted, which makes me feel bad.

Maybe I’m nervous I can’t keep up. Maybe I’m worried about how on earth I’ll survive this.

Idk, but I’m feeling kinda scared and overwhelmed.

I’m a 22 year old guy whose girlfriend told him today that she’s pregnant. She came over and showed me multiple positive test while crying. She’s 23 and a high school teacher who still lives with her grandma for reference. Honestly I don’t know what to do. We both come from religious families and believe abortion is wrong and that we made this choice so we should have to live with it. The only time we didn’t use protection she took a morning after pill and I assume that it just didn’t work. I never finished college and I’m currently living at home and supposed to leave for the marine corps by December. I genuinely don’t know exactly what to do as I don’t feel prepared for fatherhood but I love my girlfriend very much and don’t want to leave her or pressure her to get an abortion as I know it would be traumatic for her. If any dads or people who have been in a similar situation could offer me some advice I’d be eternally grateful.

Thanks Dads

I don’t actually need advice. There weren’t any other flare options. Just wanted to kinda vent and see if anyone else relates..

Any other dads on here that work midnights and are filled with stress and guilt for missing everything? I work 6p-5a 4 days a week and it’s killing me. I can’t keep up with the chores bc of sleep and even though the kids are at school during the day, I only see them for like an hour in the morning and then again between the time they get home and I have to leave bc I have an hour commute. It sucks.

Started counselling a month ago after my fiancée threatened I couldn't take my Son out without her or she'd call the police. I saw red for the first time in my life (32) and shouted in her face, not sure what I said.

Immediately felt awful, apologised and booked counselling as that's not in my nature. She's been telling me I'm not the same when we met. She had 2 boys from her marriage 2 and 4. I have been with her 3 years and we have a 20 month old son together. They are my world.

She is constantly ill, constantly on her phone and constantly complaining about everything I do. I get the boys up everyday, get them ready for school, sort breakfast, do bedtime 90% of the time. I look after her dog completely and do the majority of the housework. I'm a teacher so have extra work after school and often have to stay late for parents evenings or careers/music events I run. I know I'm a different person since before we met. She keeps telling me I'm pathetic and useless. She's said multiple times I ruined her life and she was happier before we met. She is volatile and lazy, often shouting at the children over something she hasn't done. Blaming the 5 year old that it's his fault he doesn't have any school uniform, because she hasn't done the washing.

There have been a few incidents where she has been vile to the boys and I have had to stand in between them. She often threatens me with the police, once I went shopping in the morning with my son and had 2 messages about returning her son immediately before she calls the police, this was whilst we were getting on.

Last week she screamed at me Monday night about how I've ruined her life, I'm a cunt, I'm pathetic for having an opinion (that ever differs from hers). She did the same Tuesday night Infront of her mum at her parents, yelling at me that we're through and I'm a cunt and she wants me gone. She messaged my mum to say I had to move back in as I was awful to her all the time. I felt so numb and just agreed.

She is now saying I walked out on her and the children and she is refusing me access to any of the boys. She is threatening me with the police if I turn up to the house we bought. I have solicitors involved and spoke to my manager at school. Along with my counsellor they have all told me I have been emotionally abused. We had a miscarriage very early in our relationship and she threatened to get a sperm donor to fall pregnant if I wasn't ready. This was 7 months into our relationship. I wanted a child with her and asked to wait until we had moved in. She refused and kept manipulating my kindness. I have never had much self esteem and she has ground me down for 3 years. I have stayed because of the boys, my step kids don't see their dad due to all the domestic abuse she was victim to, she never pressed charges or got a court order but she has always made it difficult for him to see them. I had always believed her as had no reason to not

I am having to apply for a court order currently as she's refusing me access to my Son. He is 20 months and I had them all at the weekend. When I dropped them off at the agreed time as I'm trying to do everything amicably he cried when she put her arms out and nuzzled into me. As I have been his primary caregiver he has always preferred my company and wakes every morning calling Dada. Or if he's ill in the night or stirs he calls Dada.

I haven't seen him since Sunday now and I'm broken. I never wanted this but I can't have him growing up in that environment. Anyone gone through the court and gained access to their children? She is manipulative and suicidal and volatile and I worry for the kids. Going through court also means I might loose my step sons as they would have to get their father involved and while I doubt it was as bad as what she says he is also volatile as has threatened me in the past.

We currently have a two year old boy and another boy on the way. We really enjoy focusing our life around our son and prioritizing him. It's given us endless joy.

However I have a lot of anxiety of how it will be with two. I know most people say when the 2nd is here it'll all click and that's probably true but I still can't shake the anxiety.

I'm anxious about both taking away from my 1st but also being able to give to my 2nd in the same capacity as the first.

How to pick and choose the who you do certain bonding things with and such.

Has anyone else felt this and how did you overcome it?

Thanks for any input!

Hey folks,

My wife and I are looking to expand our daughter's library for Christmas. She will be 9 months old by then. We have the tradition of getting each other a book for Christmas Eve, and want to continue that with her. With the onslaught of AI children's books on Amazon, I'm looking for recommendations that don't use AI. Stories that touched your heart, stories your kids loved, or stories with just beautiful art.

I'd love to avoid Amazon, but we live in a small community with no local book store, so sometimes it's unavoidable.

Looking forward to your recommendations!

Long story short, my daughter is 2 years old, and my wife is currently pregnant with our second child. We went to our first ultrasound appointment together, and I was sitting in a chair with my daughter on my lap while the ultrasound was being done.

I remember starting to feel weird, but everything happened so quickly. Before I knew it, I had fainted with my daughter still on my lap. I’m pretty sure I have vasovagal syncope, as I’ve had issues with fainting in certain situations before. I was unconscious for what felt like a couple of minutes, and it took me a little while to fully understand what had happened when I came to.

I hit my nose and forehead pretty hard, and I’m almost certain my daughter got hurt when I fell on her. She was crying nonstop. When I woke up, there were five nurses around us checking to make sure we were okay. They had to stop the ultrasound, and the nurses determined that my daughter had injured her leg in some way.

She hasn’t been able to walk properly since, and it absolutely breaks my heart. I can’t stop thinking that this was all my fault.

We had to cancel everything else and get her checked out as soon as possible. They took X-rays, but they only checked her foot, and no fractures were found. Two different doctors examined her, and she didn’t seem to have any pain in her leg, only in her foot. At this point, we really don’t know what’s going on.

This happened yesterday around 10 a.m., and she still isn’t walking. She wants my wife to hold her constantly. I can’t help but feel like she’s scared of me or hates me, even though I know she’s only 2 and probably doesn’t understand what happened. I hate myself for putting her in this situation.

She’s also barely eating and isn’t going to the bathroom as often as she normally does. It’s incredibly difficult for us to figure out what she needs or wants when she can barely communicate with us. Seeing her like this is heartbreaking, and I feel completely helpless.

We’re not sure how long her recovery will take or how serious the injury might be. We’re hoping it’s something like a sprained ankle, but we just don’t know yet.

Have any other dads experienced fainting during an ultrasound? I thought I had gotten better at handling these situations because I can get shots without any issues. Usually, I only have problems when getting blood drawn, but apparently, ultrasounds can trigger it, too. Something similar almost happened during my first daughter's ultrasound, but I managed not to fully pass out that time.

I just wanted to share my experience and hopefully hear from other dads who have gone through something similar. I’m struggling with a lot of guilt and heartbreak right now. I don’t know how long this will last, and not knowing when my daughter will be okay again is really weighing on me.

If anyone has experienced something similar, whether it was fainting during an ultrasound or accidentally injuring your child in an unexpected situation, I’d really appreciate hearing your story. I could use some reassurance right now.

35 year old dad with 4 kids, Boy 9, daughters 8,5 and 1.5. Split parenting with oldest 3 kids, diagnosed either ADHD 2 years ago. Not sure how to even start this but for a while now I’ve been tired, not the kinda tired sleep helps, I’ll find myself thinking about calling it quits but then think of my kids and would never want to leave them alone. Find myself getting distracted constantly, numb to feeling excited, anxious to be around friends, would rather do projects around the house or turn my brain off. I’ve been taking medication for ADHD for 2 years and it helped at first, at least it helped me be overly productive and now, the best way to put it is dull, life feels like it lost its hue. I’m not sure where to start, I know going back to the gym, reading, meditation and focusing on the positives will pull be back up, I’ve done it plenty of times, this time tho, it feels so heavy and a “what’s the point?”.

Our daughter just turned 6, and it feels like she's already outgrown so many of the toys she used to love. Magnetic tiles, LEGO, her fishing playset, even the cost way bounce house she was obsessed with last year. We hardly ever get it out anymore.

Lately, she's been really into Kpop Demon Hunters, so I'm thinking about getting her something related to it. At the same time, I don't want to keep buying new toys every time she gets into something different, only for them to end up collecting dust a few months later.

Dads with kids around 5 or 6, do yours go through phases like this too? How do you figure out what they'll actually enjoy for more than a few weeks?

I was in a foul mood this morning. My wife and I both work four day weeks, and I have my toddler solo two days a week. He's in the middle of a really tough mummy phase at the moment and is really hard work for both of us.

Anyway, this morning I was in a foul mood. Then while I was on the toilet, he went and pulled all his clothing out of three drawers for the second time in a week. I was nearly apoplectic, but somehow kept my cool.

The came weekly swimming lesson and he started crying before we even got in the water. I nearly bailed on the spot.

I didn't, and somehow found a way to make him laugh (just spat little mouthfuls of water at him) and he relaxed and got through the lesson.

I'm proud of him for doing such a good job at swimming, but I'm also proud of me for managing to keep my cool and then find a way to make it work.

Anyway that's my little dad win for the day. Might take him in the pram to go play golf this afternoon!

Hello everyone first time dad and have no idea what am doing to top off its going to be a girl nothing wrong. Just need books on how to change feed nap and raise a little one

I recently came across a dad post somewhere saying that he (the dad) wished he had recorded his daughter saying “Good morning daddy… I love you” when she was younger to have now set it as his alarm clock to alway wake him up in a good mood.

I have a young daughter that I’ll do this with however whether I’ll keep it continuously I’m not sure as i worry I may start resenting it. However I do like the idea…

Any other suggestions as my daughter is currently 5 years old and I am more than aware of how quick time passes.

Thanks all!

Can't believe why fathers spending time with their kids is so unbelievable in Pakistan. Went to a couple of cafes to spend a couple of hours with my little ones without their mom accompanying us and the stares we get of the majority being in awe is amazing. Is it something rare or do we make people uncomfortable?

First time dad here to a beautiful baby girl (2 weeks old). But my wife is having issues supplying enough milk and is super stressed and upset. I try my hardest to ensure that she’s doing enough and possibly using formula is fine but she seems so upset about it. Is there any tips yall know of that can help. It’s hard seeing my wife so upset about it. Any advice would be great

Tldr question: Has anyone been in similar situations and how did it effect you as a man as you got older or in short terms?

Me and my boyfriend accidentally got pregnant very soon into our relationship, birth control failure, but decided to keep the baby regardless. Mostly probably from pressure from those around us and fear of being judged if we didn't. But she's here now and he keeps saying he wasn't ready and I knew that. I did. But I also wasn't ready. We're also young, he was 17 I was 18, now 19 and 20. He's not taking it well at all, been having emotional outbursts, majority of the time refuses to help with our daughter. It took him 5 months to hold her but there's been improvements. I could go on about the situation but that's not important what's important is if there's hope he'll come around or if I doomed him and I both because he wasn't ready more so than I wasn't ready.

Posted this in another sub but was removed and recommend to post here

i’m nearly stumped. And I need help me and my girlfriend were blessed to bring in my daughter into the world about a month ago. before our relationship was almost perfect. we never argued had debate and compromises and worked out everything in our relationship. We’ve been together for roughly 3 years and we didn’t want to originally have a baby until we got married, but it just happened one day when she stopped taking birth control because she felt like it made her gain too much weight and we had a slip up. We questioned getting a abortion, but ultimately decided that we wanted to take a chance on raising our baby. The pregnancy went smoothly from what my girlfriend tells me. I supported her throughout the entire journey, but once the baby came, our relationship shifted in a way that I never expected. To give context I work full-time at a construction company. I work 60 hours a week 12 hours a day five days a week and it’s very physically demanding and throughout our entire relationship. I would come home very exhausted and tired and at least needing 3 to 5 hours to recover before I do much of anything. My girlfriend also worked however she went on maternity leave and decided to stay at home the entire time I could financially support the family with my salary, so I didn’t see it as a big deal at all. But ever since things have just gotten very overwhelming for the both of us when I get off of work, she immediately tries to pass the baby off to me and although I’ve been working all day and want to see my daughter, I’m literally wobbling in from work every day I am barely holding it together because I’m just so physically tired from the job that I do, and I would love to give my girlfriend some relief but I honestly I’m already passed out tired by the time I make it home anyways, so I immediately dropped my stuff off and try to get some sleep and she is immediately upset and claims. I don’t help with the baby at all and then throughout the night the baby will cry and wake me up out of my sleep and because I work 6 AM to 6 PM I honestly really need my rest. I typically only really want between five hours of rest so if I get off at 6 PM, I just wanna sleep till around midnight, but that’s usually when the baby is crying and so I get woken up out of my sleep and it’s hard to go back to sleep and then when it comes to her sleeping once I am finally up at around 2 AM after getting no sleep at all she wants to sleep so I’m with the baby most of the rest of the night until i go to work and I’ve been caught sleeping on the job twice and I am at risk of getting terminated if I continue to do so I don’t know how to better this situation but I want to help my partner as much as possible but also wanna help myself and not be as exhausted because I can’t help anybody if I’m not functioning myself does any parent mother or father have any recommendations that work for them?

We are in a financial position i wish I had never put us in. Our mortgage is higher than I would like and im going to have to work extra time to get us ahead the next 4 years. My daughter's 11 months old and I love her more than anything it kills my everyday that I have to be away so much but it also would kill me to not be able to provide a good life for her. Any other dads go through this and what do you do to get through?

Ever since I’ve become a father, I’m more sensitive now. Before becoming a father, I was never emotional or even cry but now, being with them I cry of happiness but also become sad watching them get older.

For all the dad’s out there who are missing their baby tonight and every night.. I empathize completely. My son is turning two in November, he is my sunshine. I miss him every second of the day.

This is for those who are thinking about becoming parents or are even on the verge of parenthood. For those who wonder if it's worth it and those who are afraid of how it will affect them.

For years, I was afraid of becoming a father. I was afraid of having to sacrifice too much, afraid of not being able to bond with my child, and I was afraid that, because of the combination of both, I would regret having a child at all. Now I’ve been the father of a little boy for three months.

I want to make this very clear right from the start: I have always been—and continue to be—in a privileged situation. I have a job that I quite enjoy, I earn reasonably well, I love my wife, and we were able to put down a down payment on our own home. I grew up in a loving home and have a strong social and family network right here in my immediate vicinity that supports me. I live in a European country that is currently very safe and offers me and my family good opportunities for personal development. I have friends and many hobbies, and I have generally been—and still am—very satisfied with my life.

I’ve never had to struggle with the question of whether I—or we—could afford to have a child. I’ve never had to deal with trauma from my youth or ask myself if I could do better than what I’ve experienced. And there was never any indication that issues like health, social connections, or skills would be a problem.

And yet I was worried. I was worried when my wife and I finally decided to have a child—a decision we made more out of reason, since so many others had told us it was worth it, than out of emotion. I was anxious when the pregnancy test came back positive. And I was afraid when we were taken to the delivery room and labor began.

That was about three months ago. My wife and I now have a healthy little boy who keeps us up at night and forces me to walk at least 13,000 steps every day, since that’s what helps him fall asleep best. The day before yesterday, he laughed for real for the first time. It was more of a giggle, but it was still a big step.

I was always afraid of having to sacrifice too much. I was always afraid of not being able to bond with my child, and I was always afraid of regretting the decision to have children once I could no longer take it back.

And you know what? I realize I have to make a lot of sacrifices. The last time I hopped on a game with the boys was three days before the birth. Just sitting around after a long day doesn’t work anymore, because the little guy wants to be moved around. And we have to plan our get-togethers carefully now—someone has to watch our child—so my wife and I end up doing things on our own rather than together.

These may not seem like serious limitations, but they were exactly what I had always feared: the loss of my personal freedom, my connections with others, and my beloved peace and quiet.

And yet, when my son was born, it took less than 30 seconds for my worries to vanish into thin air. I still remember the feeling of worrying that I wouldn’t be able to bond with my son, the worry that I’d have to sacrifice too much, and the worry that it wouldn’t be worth it—but I don’t understand those worries anymore.

Of course, I’d love to just stay on the couch sometimes; of course, I miss playing Destiny 2, Monster Hunter, or Deep Rock Galactic; and of course, I sometimes lie awake at night while little cold feet kick me in the ribs, wondering how well-rested I’d be if my son weren’t lying next to me right now.

But I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.

For those of you who are having doubts just like I did: Your worries are valid, and a lot of it will happen, but it won’t hurt as much as you imagine. It’s a bit like setting out on a long journey. Saying goodbye is hard, but so much happens—you’re so busy discovering the new and unknown that you can hardly mourn what you’ve left behind. And even if looking back sometimes hurts, there are little hands, a rare, unintentional smile, and attentive eyes that bring you back to the moment again and again.

It helps to talk to others about it. I don't know if I would have believed myself back then—probably not—but I want to say it anyway: it's worth it, and I would choose to have my son all over again.

I am a 30 year old male. We just found out my wife is pregnant in our first try. (she is 4 weeks in by now).

I am really excited of course, but also shocked, nervous etc. We wanted to start because we didn't expect it to happen to soon. We saw many posts and forums it takes so many people months and we just went with it that it takes some months and hopefully we will be lucky.

Now it happened and I feel happy because I hope our baby will hold on and keeps growing, I am just shocked and nervous.

I personally just want to know how other fathers or soon to be fathers went through this. I feel nervous although I still have 9 to 8 months to live to it.

(It happened faster then I expected, and it also feels bad to one of my friends, because they have been trying for 7 months now. I do not dare to tell them, but you know. You can't hide it).

Simply said I am just really nervous for the situation. (I know it will be fine, but it feels nice to hear about other men's stories).

My wife had a positive early pregnancy test and I’m surprised at just how terrified I am. We’re both 40, this would be our first but I’m also 1 year in to a 4 year intense training scheme. Our mortgage is increasing by hundreds per month and I feel like I’m struggling to make it work at the moment anyway with balancing everything.

I suppose it’s really hit me hard because I always thought we’d struggle to conceive for medical reasons but this hasn’t been the case so I’ve had no time to prepare. I am clinically diagnosed as neurodivergent (but extremely high masking) so that probably doesn’t help as well as having Crohn’s that regularly keeps me awake at night.

I want to be there to support my wife but at the moment I’m just unable to sleep with anxiety and I fear I’m approaching burnout. My wife plays it down somewhat with me being the more emotional one and her being far more pragmatic. I know it’s very early but I’m just so anxious. Any pearls of wisdom?

I’ve had therapy to minimal success and tried lots of relaxation techniques.

Hi! I am a first time mom to a lovely 3mo baby boy. I have an incredible husband and I have absolutely loved watching him become a father.

So here's the thing. I grew up with only sisters, and always had a kinda distant relationship with my own father. This is my first experience with a baby boy, and I would love him to have a great relationship with his dad. So as my baby grows, I have been starting to wonder what are some things that are different in the relationship of a boy with his father vs the relationship of that boy with his mother.

As men, what are some lessons your father taught you and that your mother would have been unable to teach you the same way? What are the most treasured memories your have with your father like? What can I, as a mom, do in order for my son and husband to have the best relationship possible?

Thank you!

First time Dad (34): My wife and I welcomed my daughter in late April of this year and she just turned 5 months old. Her mother stays home with her while I work a normal 8-5 shift at my job during the week.
Since about 2 months in I’ve been experiencing various levels of anxiety surrounding our daughter. She had a couple of medical scares and had recently gotten sick, but for all intents and purposes has been doing amazing and is super healthy. I just can’t seem to shake the anxiety and stress. I’ve talked to my Doctor and he’s prescribed me some anxiety medication that I’ve been on for several months and it’s helped a little. But anytime I’m around her I feel this constant level of stress surrounding things. Her crying sends me into an internal panic and I can’t even handle leaving her with my parents to go out with my wife because it causes me too much stress.
Don’t get me wrong I LOVE spending time with my Daughter (and my wife for that matter), but it so often gets overshadowed by my mind racing or spiraling.
I try so hard to be strong for my family and not show it impacting me, but despite the facts of her doing fine, despite the medication, despite therapy, despite talking to my wife… I can’t shake it and it kills me.
Has anyone else gone through this and have any help they could offer? Does this eventually go away?

Hey guys I feel lost right now. Last night my girl and I had a serious talk about our relationship. We are both currently on our early 30s, we are both career driven, and we both want to have a family in the future. The problem is that she kept getting tumors in her ovaries and her doctor told her that she might not be able to have kids on her own.

Quick background about me: I grew up from a broken family, my dad cheated on my mom and my aunt had to raise me and my brother so that my mom can go back to school. My dad just supported us financially and growing up I started to realized that he only prioritizes his other family than me and my brother so I cut ties with him.

She had a surprised pregnancy before me that only lasted for 3mos because she had to do an emergency abortion. She told me that the whole 3mos was full of suffering because her body rejecting almost everything that she puts in her body i.e. water, food, vitamins, etc. and she was constantly in pain and feel like she was slowly dying. She’s still not giving up on wanting to become a mom, but now she prefers adopting or surrogacy.

Now, I don’t mind either or, but I also want my own which is why I don’t mind surrogacy specially if that is the only way for us to have a kid of our own and she will have more freedom and time to focus on her career w/o the stress that comes with pregnancy. My only concern is that I’m afraid that I might not be able to give the love and affection that the child needs compared to if she was the one that delivers our future child. I’m so torn right now I love this woman and I want to have a family with her in the future, but I also don’t want to waste her time stringing her along if I can’t compromise. I appreciate any the advice I can get.