hi all!! so there are a few factors going into this question, which i’ll provide:
- i’m currently in nj and am tired of living here. i did undergrad and my masters here, and the job market is absolute ass, so i’d like to move onto pastures new.
- that being said, i’m applying to a phd program out in the midwest, and im putting all my energy into the application so that i have any sort of chance
- my partner and i don’t live together; so i’m always between two places when it comes to spending the night/after work
so i’m on the part of the daydreaming that includes searching on zillow for apartments, setting up workflows to manage stress/timeliness, and overall hating my space. it’s become SUCH a mess, and i don’t currently have a vacuum (but i do have a cat) which makes the mess also dirty.
i try my best to do a few minutes of cleaning every day (that sometimes turns into about an hour of cleaning when i have the energy), but i feel like sisyphus and the laundry and dishes are my boulders. i’m also trying to go through my clothes and get rid of pieces i dont want anymore, which is a massive project on its own. and it always feels like its just getting messier.
my partner is pretty insistent about keeping it so that at least the spaces we usually hang out are tidy (kitchen & living room), which he does help with sometimes. he did do a big surprise for me back in august where he and a friend tidied/cleaned up the living room and my office, which i appreciated SO much, but it’s been two months and now the mess has returned. it’s the “small tasks daily” bit that we’re trying to get better about.
sorry this is kind of rambly, part of it is also that im sorting through the files in my head (which are also currently a mess lol) to make sure relevant info is present.
so my main question is: how do i keep up motivation/energy/momentum to clean the space i’m in now while the promise of “starting over” is dangling just out of reach?
i’m only here a little more than half the time (which i am trying to change) and every time i come up the stairs i deflate because IMMEDIATELY i see mess. i want to just pack everything up, move into a new space, and intentionally put things into homes, but im still here until my lease is up next august. i need for this to get better, because its impacting pretty much every area of my life, and i feel awful that my cat lives in an unclean space (he’s my ESA).
it’s not a hoarding situation or anything, there’s just stuff on nearly every surface and it’s difficult for me to get trash/recycling out consistently (i’m on the second floor of a townhome-like apartment), but i’m pretty good at getting at least the trash out when The Smell hits.
sorry that this is long. thank u for reading all the way thru if you did. any and all advice/tips are appreciated!! i just feel stuck and don’t know what to do 🙃