For the longest time I thought I was intellectually challenged or had some sort of medical problem but it was anxiety all along. My brain just feels so foggy whenever I talk to people. I blank out and stay silent until people eventually stop talking to me.

I hate not being able to answer questions people ask me, it’s like I just forget everything I’ve learned and experienced in that exact moment. I know I’m capable to answer but it feels like I need to have a script for every interaction I have. I hate not being able to stand up for myself when people disrespect me. And thinking of all the ways I could’ve responded later at night. I hate always messing up interviews and presentations because my brain blanks out and makes me look stupid in front of everyone.

Even when I do try to talk, everything just comes out in a jumbled mess. I sound so incoherent and when people look confused I feel more discouraged to even try. I’m so jealous of people who can talk so naturally and come up with things on the spot. I feel like I’ll never reach that state no matter how hard I try.

I think alot of my anxiety comes from people being so fake. I've always been quiet and people tend to forget that I'm there or just ignore my presence completely and I've noticed that so many "friends" talk so much shit about eachother. People will seem really close and be eachothers "ride or die" but as soon as one of them aren't around they are spilling eachothers secrets and talking mad shit about them. Why would I want a friendship/relationship like that? And how do you know when your being a true friend that your friend is doing the same when your not there?

All of it makes me so cautious about what I do or say around anyone. I figure once I say something to 1 person everyone around us is going to know or if I make a mistake or am awkward they are all going to talk and laugh about it later. It makes me just want to completely isolate myself.

Does anybody else understand that it's REALLY hard going out with just one person as opposed to 2+ people!?

With one friend, you're forced to keep a conversation going. Then it's super awkward if you two are just sitting there in silence after running out of things to talk about.

With 2+ friends, the conversation goes longer. One person runs out of something to talk about, the other person picks up the slack and comes up with something else. Not as much awkward silence.

My kid wanted to go to an indoor play place - unlimited play. And he wanted to invite a friend. I eventually told him that I didn't want to sit with his mom for hours and hours by myself having to force conversation. She's a friend yes, but it still feels awkward to me!! I felt bad. I ended up asking her anyways and they're out of town for the break.

And playdates, I'm much better having the mom drop off their kid at my house than having that parent stay the whole time having to force conversation. Even if it's a friend or acquaintance. I just... can't.

Please tell me I'm not alone

As a 27 year-old socially-anxious NEET/Hikikomori, I've pretty much accepted that that my social anxiety will never go away, so instead I endlessly cope by fantasizing about being rich, powerful, popular, etc. (Listening to music helps for this). I also have various "waifus" who I like to imagine romantic moments with.

As ironic as it sounds, sometimes one must succumb to madness in order to stay sane.

Hey there,

Is anyone aged 30 - 45ish (i'm 35) interested in occasionally chatting on here via private message/chat? Just to share the day to day struggles and feeling less alone ideally... or talk about other interests etc..

A little about me: Ive been living quite an isolated life (again), especially after the end of my last relationship several years ago. I was diagnosed with avpd and social anxiety (and other anxiety disorders too lol, lucky me).

i love reading, music, cinema, thinking about the meaning and the state of things, nature, animals, art....

I like people who think critically, are unconventional, open-minded and dont think in rigid categories, but rather abstractly and creatively.

Happy to hear from someone maybe :)

Anna

I have been recommended to go to the city alone and just talk to people to practice. Would this even be possible? I have thought about sporting events but there I’m watching something. Going to talk to random people seems impossible idk

a girl working at the ice cream place said she liked my resident evil shirt and asked if i ever played the games . i said yeah and the next question she asked i couldnt hear a word she said and i asked her to repeat herself and again couldnt hear a fucking word in that loud ass place. so i just smiled and said oh yeah …. so awkward 😔💀 she probably thought i was weird & regretted asking me anything.. i used to not even be able to order my own food a few years ago, so im glad im able do that now but my social skills still just suck. how am i almost 30 & STILL like this. it’s embarrassing honestly

edit: lol my fault for thinking this sub would be supportive at all. guess i’ll go fuck myself.

edit 2: im kind of dramatic

I want to go on vacation but I’ll probably have to go alone and I kinda want to But then I start getting anxious thinking about being alone and how weird it’ll be eating alone etc. . Curious to know if any of you traveled alone somewhere

I'm in high school as a senior currently but throughout my entire school year I've had an intense fear of having to talk infront of people or confront somebody. Does anyone know what to do?

Past few days idk why but memories of adults around me whether they were parents,relatives or teachers praising me for staying quite and not being out of line keeps coming back. When i was a kid i struggled to interact with other kids but observing i got treated better by adults for staying quite just made me reluctant even more to get out of my shell. Now I'm 21 i feel so out of place, completed my college and it was so difficult. Everyone made friends so easily, everyone went on to do projects,internships and other activities without much difficulty. Everyday i just question myself why can't i be normal. Why is it so difficult to do things that others do so easily.

I'm 2 months self-diagnosed cured from social anxiety.

I've made many, many changes, and this week and before has been the socializing period.

I've made a new friend today, or I hope, and 2 potentials.

I don't know.

**rant into the void**

I was on the shuttle to the parking lot when i overheard my coworkers talking, my airpods died and i was tired so i was leaning over my backpack like i was sleeping. While i was zoning out half asleep i heard one of my co-workers talk about a situation that happened earlier that morning. She had came up to me and said hi, and i said hi back but immediately went onto my phone and awkwardly sat there and waited for her to leave. idk why i did that, in the moment i just felt anxious and I didn't want to talk so i just did, that.

This is not me trying to defend myself, i feel like a total dickhead. They also talked about some other situations that were awkward and i think they mentioned my overall just weird mood that ive been in the past 2 weeks. I was doing better, talking to people more and forcing myself to put myself out there, the last 2 weeks have been a complete 180 though and people are starting to notice. I feel like i make people uncomfortable, i feel tense anytime someone looks at me and although im overthinking literally all the time i suddenly stop whenever someone talks to me and i think its very noticable. Im just tired of bouncing between desperately trying to talk to people to no avail to becoming completely distant and cold. I feel like a pathetic loser and an asshole. I'm tired of making people feel uncomfortable because im uncomfortable.

Not feeling safe at my job right now. I just nodded along to a coworker and found a way to hide myself from them and he got angry.

Do anybody feel this too?

Somethings, like people talk behind your back, classmate bullies you. You know that it's okay/or that they are wrong and you should ignore them. But yet, it still feel shit anyway even though knowing the fact that it's ok. It's like my logic and facts are constantly fighting with the emotions that I have. I don't know how to make my logic and emotion can cooperate, if that make sense

Hello,

I have been wanting to chat with somebody about our mutual experience with social anxiety. Today was particularly rough for me, which was my prompt to ask this subreddit. I want to hear about your experiences and share mine as well.

If anybody is interested, send a comment over. Thank you

Like oh my days its 7 AM in the morning im taking a bus to my school, full buss full of people, whatever, i dont have nowhere to sit, im SCARED but LITERALLY scared to talk in the bus with full people, scared to move or just do anything, why does it happennn why cant i just be normal? :(

Next, im sooo fucking scared to eat in public near people, in class too obviously, when i get here at 7:10 and then have to wait 50 minutes for class to start i usually eat something before someone comes, and as soon as someone enters the classroom i just hide it and i just dont knowww its not ONLY the eating, i just cant do anything near people, PE is the worst.

also im 16, a LOT of other boys have GFs and stuff at my age, i never had one and im ALWAYS targetted by my "friends" and made fun of new people as well, been told others to NOT talk to me and stuff because im "weird" and all my friends said was "omgg it was just a joke calm down" like what? youre literally talking about me like i was a human with no feelings?

I dont have anyoneee to tell this and i dont even know who could possibly reply to this with something that would boost my mind, like, fuck those people i hate every single one of them, and its my fault as well, apologizing for my english

For context before leaving my home I was feeling extremely nervous. I kept putting off going to the post office for months now. I finally decided to go and send off my mail.

I first stopped at my local photo shop to print out documents and make copies, my hands were shaking, everything I had organized before leaving the house suddenly became a disaster to find. I kept my cool and decided to take everything out on the desk. Mind you I did stepped on a lady foot and didn’t apologize. Not because I was rude, because I was too nervous while finding my documents.

Then I decided to stop at my new rent office to give them documents. I had to take a bus there, thankfully it was express 1 stop.
Normally is not that intense but I decided to go up on my medication which really made me more anxious. I even told a guy who was tall, dark, and handsome that he was handsome. Yes even my daughter was shocked while we were on the phone. She was like “did you really just say that mom”?. Anyways the post office guy had headphones in when I made the comment. He didn’t say thank you. I felt so embarrassed at the same time ok.

When I got home I said wow Samantha you did it, my heart was still beating when I got home. It just seemed so unreal I was even able to get some sun while walking here in NY. The only time I do go out is to work. When the weekends come and the weather is nice I dread in bed and stay home. I know I would never fully be healed from this but it was very fulfilling to accomplish my to do list today. I had an ok morning, better afternoon, painful evening my finger nearly got torn off by my fan. I am currently bleeding and taking care of it, as I have to return to work tomorrow. I even got my nails done and feet done I forgot that part. It wasn’t a perfect day but definitely a successful day.

recently got into a new hobby group. We get out pretty late and not all of us have cars. We just met for the first time yesterday and all was good. Started talking to this girl who was sat next to me and we sort of hit it off. I guess I would characterize myself as a bit of an avoidant so I’m always intentionally trying to make a connection and show my friendliness when I know I can’t maintain it. Maybe to a fault. today after we broke for the night I was coming out of the parking lot and saw her walking. Part of me wanted to offer a ride and part of me didn’t and I didn’t fully understand the part of me that didn’t and so I offered and then she told me she was going to a city that I’ve never driven in really, and then I think”what if she always wants a ride after this,” and “What if I get into an accident,” and I immediately back out and make the excuse that I’m going in the other direction even though that happened to not be the case. I pulled away feeling like a complete shit even though she was super friendly about it and so was I, but that doesn’t stop the feeling. I can’t shake it. I know my worth isn’t in what I can offer people but on an intrinsic level it feels like I failed the first test of being a good friend. It doesn’t help that I’m already having a hard time navigating office social norms in my new 9 to 5 where I feel like a square trying to fit into a circle space. I don’t know how to maintain friendships or feel like I’m not bugging people. With this girl, I don’t know how to make it right or if there’s even anything to make right, except with myself. is it shame? Is it fear of looking dumb? Why do I even invite the situation onto myself. I looked crazier and more rude than if I had just driven past. My lexapro obviously hasn’t kicked in.

I've been told by close friends that my eye contact is off putting because my eyes are so wide and look so panicked. This of course is because I have social anxiety and am very rarely relaxed in any social setting. I think this might explain why a lot of people are hesitant to be friends with me. Does anyone else experience this and any recommendations to soften my gaze?

It genuinely hurts having to deal with this in every second of existence. I don't know how people are able to open themselves up to others, I don't know how people are able to form friendships or connections that actually mean something.

I've always been sort of isolated. Didn't have much friends and I basically only talk when spoken to. I've had a few chances to make friends or join a group, but my mind just never registers the fact that I might be wanted.

I do not like going outside. It's not from fear, but I have never had fun being outside. When I'm outside I'm constantly working at 2x, trying to act normal. The same is true with human interaction, I can never relax, I can never truly enjoy the company of someone because my mind is working over time to make the experience decent for them.

It's tiring. And I'm not even sure i want to have those relationships at this point. I guess I've gotten used to spending time by myself and on my own. I still want to be decent at socializing. I'll be starting a new job in a few months hopefully, so I'm hoping that will help me, but, I think I am no longer striving for the day I can feel what it's like to hang out with a group of friends.

I’m 26 year old. I’m just tired of this. I need people but due to my anxiety I’m just not able to interact and connect with them. Life is just passing by and I’m getting older. I wanna find people like me. Anyone like me. I’m from Kerala btw. Residing in Bengaluru

like the title says , im trying but not improving all that much. i unfortunately picked a very client facing career field (currently trying to move into the more admin side of things) and while i do love what i do, i feel ashamed at the same time. i talk with clients weekly and they open up to me but i also overthink so much of what im saying. the social anxiety is better than what it used to be because with this job + some efforts to talk to more people i can hold a conversation, but i still overthink every interaction so much. i feel the urge to “grade” myself on how i did at the end which can cause spirals sometimes.

still gonna keep trying because i have to with this job and i really would like to not be like this anymore but its hard.

I know the question sounds weird and no one likes being laughed at. Is ruminating about the incident and how others saw him in that moment a sign of social anxiety?