r/sex • • Jun 30 '23

Mod post The /r/sex Rules and Guidelines - please read BEFORE you post! Updated 2023

192 Upvotes

The mods of /r/sex make it our policy to review the rules of the sub on an ongoing basis, tweaking items as necessary. In an effort to stay abreast with the growth of the sub and with the evolving moderation that requires, we have decided to re-sticky the updated rules to serve as a reminder for our membership.


r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.


This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic. If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct BEFORE you participate here. Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community.

PLEASE READ the FAQ with the most asked and answered questions - BEFORE POSTING!! Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.


THE /R/SEX RULES

1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES.
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful. Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot. Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.

2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES.
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.

3) DON'T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS.
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.

4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE.
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated. Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated. Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.

5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT.
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments. General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.

6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE.
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item. Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.

7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM. Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.

8) RESTRICTED CONTENT This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.

9) NO USE OF AI FOR POSTING/COMMENTS, NO REPOSTS
Reddit uses AI detection software to spot potential bot-posts and spam but people are encouraged to report posts that look fake, AI-generated, or are reposts of content created by other users.


EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:

1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS.
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith. If you're trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned. Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.

2) LINK POSTS.
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted Link Policy BEFORE you post links! Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.

3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS.
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like r/sexstories or a similar forum.

4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like "normal" or "weird" are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual. Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned. Comments that consist of nothing but memes, "this", "lol" and such are highly disfavored. If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.

5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL.
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had. Do not ask for lists of other people's kinks.

6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS.
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here. You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor). You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.

7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT.
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here. Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban. This is a community for ALL GENDERS - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual's gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban.

8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS.
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you. Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.

9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS.
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed. Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study.

10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS.
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.

11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS.
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both. In case you are confused, this means that we do not do penis size posts here.

12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC.
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal. Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.

13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT.
/r/sex is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults. We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances. Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in /r/sex.

14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES.
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex. Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.

15) IMPORTANT NOTE ON DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.
Sexual assault is an important and emotional topic which can be discussed (constructively) in r/sex. But posts which simply seek opinions about whether a given scenario counts as sexual assault do not do well here. This is true for several reasons, including the fact that assault laws vary by jurisdiction, and we don't encourage debates about jurisdiction issues here. Therefore, we ask that you refrain from describing a scenario and then simply asking “Is this rape/assault?” Instead, ask for specific advice: About how to respond to the scenario, how to avoid it, or how to proceed with next steps. Posts which simply ask “Is this rape/assault?” are subject to removal without notice.

16) POST LENGTH.
For ease of reading and reviewing, please get to the point of your post quickly — in the post title, first paragraph, etc. Consider adding a tl;dr to long posts. Posts which are inconveniently long — over 600 words, approximately — are subject to automatic removal. Also, line and paragraph breaks are VERY HELPFUL for readers and reviewers — walls of text that lack these are subject to removal for readability.

Further information about the /r/sex rules and policies can be reviewed on the rules page.


Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:

• BDSM Community

• DeadBedrooms

• Dirty Pen Pals

• Gone Wild

• Ladyboners Gone Wild

• LGBT Sex

• LGBT

• Normal Nudes

• One Y Chromosome

• Polyamory

• Redditor for Redditor (Personals)

• Relationships

• Sex Stories

• Sex Toys

• Swingers

• Transgender

• Two X Chromosomes


r/sex • • 52m ago

WEEKLY SEXUAL ACHIEVEMENT THREAD Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread

• Upvotes

Post your own achievement story

Everyone who feels like sharing a story about sexual experiences can do so in this weekly post. Be it a new or an old story, be it extraordinary or rather common; anything - from happiness over losing your virginity or having your first orgasm, to sharing about the amazing, kink-filled weekend of debauchery you experienced - is appropriate to this thread.

Post an update to a post you have made in the past

If you have posted for advice about a situation in the past and wish to share an update - this is the place for it.

Please follow the rules of this community

Any sexual experience that you wish to share is fair game, as long as you follow the rules of the community.

If you use Reddit in a web browser, you'll find the rules just to the right.

If you use Reddit in one of the official apps, you'll find the rules on the About tab.

Let's hear about it!


r/sex • • 14h ago

Inspiration and Ideas Erotic films with a plot?

304 Upvotes

I'm on a mission to find a porn movie with a plot .My wife, level 37, has never watched adult films. I've been trying to convince and I finally succeeded. I just need to find a film with a normal plot.So all the "oh my stepbrother, why are you masturbating? Give me a hand and I'll help you" movies are out.


r/sex • • 4h ago

Oral sex Blowjob Cheek Push: Porn vs. Reality

40 Upvotes

I watch a lot of porn with blowjobs, I also give many blowjobs and am always looking to improve and learn new tricks.

Though definitely not a new development in the porn world, I’ve become aware in a lot of the videos I watch that during a BJ scene, the guy or even the woman will push the penis into the cheek and rub it there rather than get deeper, like just positioning the penis against the inside of the cheek and rutting into it if that makes sense.

Is this a common thing in actual sex that would feel good/better than the typical maneuvers?


r/sex • • 3h ago

Beginner Three way a bad idea with long term girlfriend?

16 Upvotes

So I told my girlfriend a few years back after being asked what my top sexual fantasy js that it’s to have my dick sucked by 2 girls at the same time. She told me today after not talking about it for over two years that her roommate would be down and she thinks it would be hot.

I’ve read some posts about 3 ways fucking relationships up and I want to marry this girl so was looking to get advice on if this is a bad idea? Since I wouldn’t be fucking anyone I could see how it might be less risky but wondering if anyone has experience with this lol?

Not interested in fucking anyone else tbh and for whatever reason I personally kinda just think it would be weird even though I’m benefiting from it. I’m down to get head though and don’t think it’s something that would fuck our relationship up but maybe I just really like head so need someone to confirm I’m not being biased here lmao.

My girlfriend is the one who brought it up so curious what people’s thoughts are on going through with it.

Thanks!


r/sex • • 8h ago

Oral sex I(23F) really want to swallow my boyfriend’s (26M) cum but it disgusts me.

38 Upvotes

First of all his hygiene is absolutely okay, he works out and eats healthy and nutritious food, he doesn’t smoke and he drinks only 2-3 times a month.

I love giving him a blowjob, hear him moan and giving him an amazing orgasm. I love his body and everything about him. But as much as I try I hate to swallow his cum even though I want to. It’s just the texture not the taste. Sticky and weird it makes my sensory issues go craaazy.

I would really like to get over this :/


r/sex • • 19h ago

Kinks Me and my friend need some kinky ideas

260 Upvotes

Last year, me (m35) and my friend (f31) (of 10+ years) got super drunk and had some unexpected fun. She went home with me to stay and when we got in bed we both started jokingly teasing each other. The thing is that everything was perfect, we had like 2 hours foreplay and it was so much fun, but as soon as i penetrated her it became kinda boring (i know it sounds weird) and after we orgasmed, both of us had some kind of a post nut clarity and just went to sleep without touching each other.

After some days she was feeling horny and sent me some nudes, we both started dirty talking, jerking off and then we came. After that we decided to have sex again but the same thing happened, the foreplay was amazing and super hot but sex itself was not. So we decided not to have classic sex but keep having fun, exploring kinks and fantasies.

The first thing we tried was a "blowjob call", like i had to write to her one code word and wherever she was she had to come to where i was and give me a bj. We both loved it, she LOVES giving it and i love receiving it. Also this has to happen without anyone realising.

The thing is that we are not the most creative people in the world, so I would really appreciate if you gave us some ideas about more ways to have kinky fun! (i read about the bj call on reddit too, so even that was not my idea :D )


r/sex • • 9h ago

I can't find a flair that fits Trouble keeping up with his libido

31 Upvotes

I feel like my partner needs to have sex or more accurately let one out every night, if he doesn’t he’ll jerk off in the bathroom.
Now normally, it’s great that he wants to have sex every night but nowadays it just feels like an obligation like he just wants to have an orgasm and that’s it.
But I just get the ick that when i refuse him, or if i happen to fall asleep early, he’ll end up watching porn and jack off in the bathroom.

Is it normal for guys wanting to just “let one out” every night. Or does my partner have extremely high libido?


r/sex • • 14h ago

Hygiene My (M19) girlfriend (F19) wants me to use gloves when I finger her?

67 Upvotes

Hello, fairly new here. My girlfriend just asked me to wear gloves going forward whenever I am to finger. She does have germaphobia and maybe OCD but that is unconfirmed at this moment. We have done this without gloves numerous times before with no reported cuts or infections. Her reasoning are the many germs that may be on my hand. I honestly do not blame her but I do think that this specific situation is one where the phobia is going too far. We are exclusive partners and do not have STIs or anything like that

I have promised to make sure wash my hands and use sanitizer beforehand as I do believe in a basic level of cleanliness. I just think that the gloves are not needed.

Edit: This is a quote from my girlfriend that she wanted to share “I don’t believe I have OCD but I do think I am more cognizant of the fact that germs can harm me. I have to be cautious about hygiene. Certain bacterias can cause infections”


r/sex • • 8h ago

Boundaries and Standards Working with boyfriend to make him more comfortable making sexual advances with me

21 Upvotes

So as some background, my boyfriend was with his ex for about two years, and it was very much a dead bedroom from what he's described. He hasn't divulged much about it since he doesn't like talking about anything sexual that involves someone other than me (which is just his ex), but from the tibits he's dropped, I've gathered that they would have sex on average once every three months or so, and he also would constantly get rejected for sex to the point where he simply stopped trying and she would make him feel like a creep for making any sort of sexual advance or comment (such as calling her hot and stuff)

Lots of this came up because, throughout our relationship, I've noticed that he refuses to make any sort of sexual advances whatsoever towards me. I'd walk around the apartment naked or get changed in front of him and stuff like that and he'd always leave the room or pay no mind to it, and since I've asked him he's said that he's basically been holding back from making advances even though he wants to because he feels like it's wrong.

How can I help him here? I understand why he acts like this and I don't take it personally, but I would like to get him to a point where he feels comfortable being the sexual initiator and not deliberately shutting himself down out of fear that he thinks I'll be grossed out over the fact that he's sexually attracted to me.


r/sex • • 6h ago

Confidence Feeling very insecure about my girlfriend

15 Upvotes

(im a guy btw) my girlfriend was talking about how she had one of her best orgasms recently while masterbaiting with her old vibrator and she was shaking and just being real loud. im not upset she had a good time alone i just struggle with a lot of insecurity when it comes to sex and i honestly just wanted to talk about how i feel really bad since she had one of her best without me. i feel like i just weigh her down and cant ever satisfy her. now granted she does also always talk about how much she desires sexual intimacy with me and how she'll masterbait to the thought of me but anytime im fingering her i always struggle to make her finish which really upsets me. I just feel like if im not in the equation for one of her best orgasms maybe i shoudnt be there at all then because i just wont ever be good enough to equal the same if not better result.

I guess the reason for my post is that Im just begging for some slight consolation that I'm not worthless and that maybe theres X reason as to why it doesnt always work but that she'd still prefer me when it comes to sexual intimacy.


r/sex • • 6h ago

Beginner Can non-virgin men enjoy hookups without any sex involved?

9 Upvotes

I hooked up with a super cute guy who lost his virginity pretty young and had a body count of 35+ when I met him (early 20s).

However, I (30F) am a virgin and had very clearly relayed my boundaries of keeping it that way. I finished him multiple times throughout the night and he was extremely respectful, sweet and kept checking on me if I was okay.

I was telling my friend about the night and she seemed shocked. She is also not a virgin, and said, “He didn’t ask to go further during intimacy even once? That’s not possible.”

That made me start overthinking and spiralling a little bit. Is it hard for men who knows what sex feels like to not cross that boundary with a girl? I am overthinking now because was he not attracted to me enough to feel the “urge” or do non-virgin men genuinely enjoy engaging in sexual activities apart from sex?


r/sex • • 12h ago

Skill improvement More comfortable ways to eat pussy and finger someone?

26 Upvotes

So if I'm going down on somebody and fingering them at the same time, I tend to put all of the weight on my left shoulder for leverage. This gets uncomfortable after a few minutes, and I always push through, but it can get exhausting, and if I'm trying to make them cum before PIV, I need to take some time to get comfortable again. Edge of the bed helps with that a little, but it can be a weird angle sometimes, especially if the bed's higher off the ground. Anybody know of any comfortable positions where I can eat out and finger someone for prolonged periods?


r/sex • • 58m ago

Erection Issue I can’t control my erections, but I’ve figured out how my dick works NSFW

• Upvotes

Hey everyone, I wanted to share a few things I’ve noticed about how my dick works, and I’m really curious whether yours works the same way.

My ability to get an erection depends on how stressed I am and how long it’s been since I last ejaculated.

When I’m alone or with a partner I feel really comfortable with, there’s no stress, and getting hard is easy—even if I’ve ejaculated recently.

With a new partner, I’m more stressed, so I need to have gone a little longer without ejaculating and feel a bit more sexually pent up.

Keeping that in mind, I’ve been able to make sure I’m ready whenever I need to be. I don’t have any physical issues in that department.


r/sex • • 9h ago

Confidence How to get more comfortable during sex ?

12 Upvotes

Hi, F29. I have an issue that keeps coming up: I don’t seem comfortable before or during sex.
Sometimes, I’ve even had a partner ask me if I had very little experience (I’ve pretty much)… and it’s becoming frustrating.
I was in a relationship for a year and a half with an ex with whom I experimented a LOT of things. Before the end of our relationship, he would sometimes tell me that I didn’t seem comfortable during sex.
And honestly, he wasn’t wrong. I’m never completely comfortable, even after having sex multiple times with the same partner, and I’d really like to change that.

What make me think about it’s :
A few days ago, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. I was very attracted to him, and I told him beforehand that I was shy. He was really nice and did everything he could to make me feel comfortable.
Our second date was at his place. We talked for about an hour, and I was very nervous. I didn’t approach him, although I had already told him that I’m not usually the type to make the first move.
He told me he understood, but that my shyness made things a little complicated because he didn’t want to pressure me or come across as inappropriate. I assured him that he wouldn’t.
He eventually made a move.
But during sex (while he was inside lol) he suddenly stopped and said, “I still don’t feel like you’re completely comfortable.”
Then, at another point, he stopped again and said, “I feel like you’re somewhere else mentally.”
That really made me think, because even though I was shy, I actually felt pretty comfortable with him. And this isn’t the first time this has happened.
My last three partners have said similar things, and so have partners before them: “You don’t let yourself go,” “You think too much,” and they often even ask me if I’m in pain, even though I genuinely enjoy the moments I spend with them. (I might scream weirdly or make weird face lmao)
However I genuinely want to change this.
It’s true that before sex, I’m extremely tense. I’m afraid of getting physically close to the person, and I never make the first move because I’m scared of doing something that might make the other person uncomfortable.
If the person I’m with doesn’t make a move, I could literally stay like that for hours, even if I really want them.
I think about silly things like, “Does my stomach look too big?” I have some skin issues (psoriasis), and I start thinking about that, whether I shaved properly, whether I smell okay, etc. And all of that can occupy my mind.
I almost never make eye contact when I’m talking to people in general, and even less so during sex. It’s honestly exhausting.
And I think it shows and can be felt by the other person because I don’t fully allow myself to be present in the moment. Sometimes I even restrict myself to cum or squirt because I don’t want to look too weird….

I actually want to touch them first, flirt with them, take the lead a little, or turn them on. I’d like to feel more “sexy” and confident in my behavior.

I’d really appreciate any advice.

P.S. I’m neurodivergent, if that could be relevant.


r/sex • • 1h ago

Protection Lube effectiveness

• Upvotes

Am currently gonna be in Uni soon and I wanna find a gf or maybe a couple FWBs. Gonna bring my own condoms and lube, scared of getting a girl pregnant.

I wanna go with Skyn naturally endless water based lube. Seems like a really good option.

For those of you with experience using lube, how much does it improve sensation and reduce the risk of tearing?


r/sex • • 1h ago

Orgasm Issues Ladies, do you get completely exhausted and sleepy right after an orgasm?

• Upvotes

My girlfriend and I have a routine where I always give her head first so she gets an orgasm before we move on to penetration. The thing is, right after she comes from oral, she’s completely drained and practically falling asleep while I’m putting on a condom.

I really want to try different positions with her, which requires active participation, but she's so exhausted that she just wants to lie there. It's making our sex life feel less passionate. To make matters worse, we’ve gotten into a cycle where she only gets into it if I give her oral first, so I feel pretty stuck.

Any advice or insights on how to handle this? How can we keep the passion going without leaving her completely wiped out halfway through?


r/sex • • 11h ago

Sex and Friendships Is it possible that my wife is ALWAYS (somewhat) satisfied after sex?

13 Upvotes

Whenever I (34m) am intimate with my partner (29F) no matter how long I last or how well I perform , she never seems to need or want more

Sometimes she’ll be more appreciative sometimes we’ll mutually agree it wasn’t the greatest but she’s always “done” when I’m “done”

For context she isn’t an orgasm first type of girl and never was, she’s more about the experience and such if that makes sense…however it doesn’t make sense that my finish is always hers in over 10 years

Please do not assume she’s always satisfied because I promise I am quite average in that regard

Any/all input is well appreciated !


r/sex • • 50m ago

I can't find a flair that fits young adults who live with their parents, how the hell do you keep up a consistent intimate life?

• Upvotes

My boyfriend and I live in a pretty expensive city. We’re both pursuing our education at a local college and have a long way to go before being independent.

My thing is, we can never find the right moment to have sex. If we’re at my house, my mom is constantly passing by my room and it’s just too awkward. His house has a lot of people living in it and it’s also just too inconvenient.

We end up resorting to having sex only once a week, whenever we have at least 30 minutes alone at someone’s house (which is RARE). Car sex terrifies me because of the potential issues with cops. Getting a hotel every other day is extremely inconvenient. How on earth do couples our age do this??


r/sex • • 10h ago

Oral sex Why do i taste so bad?

7 Upvotes

So my boyfriend really likes eating out but I just found out he can't stand the way I taste like. He ate me out a bunch of times but was never able to do it for too long cuz of this.

I'm not really sure if I taste wrong or not and if it's a problem with me. I think I drink enough water so I'm not sure what else it could've. I have good hygiene and he never complained about anything else other than this.


r/sex • • 7m ago

Oral sex Afraid of STDs while giving a blowjob

• Upvotes

I (30M) was always curious about giving a blowjob. Considered myself straight/bicurious for years but now single I'd want to experiment.

I am not attracted towards men but really curious about the blowjob itself.

The thing, I want to keep it safe.

I have the feeling that meeting someone at a party and using a condom is not both safe & fun. It's hard to ask for a std test haha

Maybe online dating with test proof beforehand is safer? (+ With condom?)

But then I miss the fun parts I guess somehow... Swallowing and feeling it for real, without condoms.

Ofc it sounds stupid to do without condoms (tests can be faked, or they could have had sex in between, etc)

I was thinking that a recent STDs test (1 week) could be safe enough...?

What happened when you were in a similar situation?


r/sex • • 7h ago

I can't find a flair that fits How to help with obsessive thoughts about Sex that are stressing me out?? (F21)

4 Upvotes

Hi there!

I don’t know how to start this, but for a bit of context I (F21) have always had quite a low sex drive, I’ve never really had a very high libido and am pretty much a virgin because of it. I was always fairly content with this and was considering that maybe I was just asexual.

But I do still get urges to get off sometimes, and the other day I did all that as usual, nothing really out of the ordinary. Expect for the fact it’s kicked off some sort of mental spiral to do with obsessively thinking about sex and being horny.

It’s all I’ve been able to think about or focus on for the last few days, I haven’t been able to focus on my work, on sleeping, on eating because my brain is completely fogged thinking about sex. I feel constantly at a fever pitch horny to the point it’s making me uncomfortable and quite upset, it’s all really overwhelming me and starting to stress me out.

I keep obsessively replaying any film with sexual themes in my head despite the fact I’m not even that into films like that, I keep obsessively looking up and reading things about sex and kinks and whatever because I’ve always had an interest in it but now it just stresses me out further and adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed.

I’ve worked myself up to the point of actual tears a few times because it’s all just upsetting and stressing me out and o don’t know what kicked it off or how to make it stop. It’s stressing me out to the point I can’t get into the right headspace to touch myself or anything and the idea of doing anything physical just adds to the stress of the whole ordeal.

I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and don’t have anyone in my personal life that I can ask about it. And when I’ve looked it up online I mostly get redirected to posts about how stress can affect sex lives rather than the other way around, like my issue.

Has anyone else gone through this and do you know what helps?? Or just know about it in general because I just feel totally lost, I really just want to get back on track with focusing on normal life again.


r/sex • • 10h ago

Intimacy and Connection My girlfriend is extremely ticklish and I don't know what to do

4 Upvotes

I [25M] and my gf [25F] have been together for 8 years already, 3 of which in a long-distance relationship. She has always been a little more vanilla than me, but I thought it was normal since we are each other's first sexual experience.

The big issue is that she is extremely ticklish. On her feet, on her neck, and on her vagina and groin area. Because of that, I don't give oral to her because just me breathing near it makes her ticklish. To be honest, just that makes me a bit sad. I've never given oral to a woman, and I have no idea if I'm even any good at it, but well, she's the one losing out, I guess.

The real problem is that lately, it's been causing issues during sex. The other day we were doing missionary, and I know I can't kiss her neck in the beginning, but during sex it's usually fine, so I kissed her as I always do. She told me to stop because it was tickling. I said fine, although I've done it a hundred times before, and kept going.

Next day we were having sex again, this time I didn't kiss her neck at all. I just kissed her cheek. And at the end, she told me it was distracting her because I was just kissing her cheek and it was annoying. I was like: wtf do you want me to do? I can't kiss you on the neck, I can't touch your armpits, I can't touch your feet, I stick with a safe place that I know, and it was distracting you too?!

She said just kiss my neck as you used to do. And that was it, but it really annoyed me. I just want to express my love, to feel her, to kiss her. But sometimes I feel like I can't touch her. And I feel like she is not focused on enjoying the sex because every touch or move I make makes her ticklish, and in the end, she can't enjoy it 100%.

Maybe it is worse now since we were in a long distance relationship, but I don't know.

Has anyone dealt with this?


r/sex • • 1d ago

Intimacy and Connection High sex drive, but casual sex isn’t for me… how do you survive being single? 😭

197 Upvotes

I’ve been single and haven’t had sex in about two years, and lately the craving for intimacy has been hitting HARD. 😭
The funny thing is, when I’m in a relationship, I have a really high sex drive. But when I’m single, I can’t seem to enjoy anything on my own. I’ve tried pleasuring myself, but I just can’t get into it. My mind wanders, I can’t concentrate, and it does absolutely nothing for me. I think a huge part of sex for me is the emotional connection. I don’t just want a random guy. I want the attraction, affection, closeness, cuddling, chemistry, and actually wanting that specific person. But damn… two years is TWO YEARS. 😂 Lately I’ve genuinely considered finding a FWB/fuck buddy just to have that physical intimacy again, but knowing myself, I’m worried I’d eventually get attached. And then I’d turn something that was supposed to be casual into an emotional mess lol. So now I’m stuck between “I really miss sex and physical intimacy” and “I know casual sex probably isn’t for me.” Anyone else have a really high sex drive but only genuinely enjoy sex when there’s an emotional connection? How do you deal with being single for a long time without losing your mind? 😂


r/sex • • 1h ago

Beginner He wants me to find a girl to join

• Upvotes

I’m very new to the sex scene and recently my boyfriend and I have been talking about adding another girl to the mix. The problem is that I don’t know what to expect and I’m still nervous/ anxious about another person seeing me in that way. I am interested in a threesome but I don’t know how I’ll respond to it and I’m worried that I’ll mess things up. Any advice for a beginner? And where do I find someone?