Please no advice - Just need to be heard
I was diagnosed with PCOS (PMOS, I guess) in my early teens because my periods were so irregular. I have always been fat, had signs of insulin resistance, and had HS from a young age.
In my late teens I starved myself and exercised brutally until I lost a bunch of weight only to gain back twice as much. I am 29 now and gain weight EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I have been through 2 eating disorder programs (OP & IOP) and I cannot fix my relationship with food and/or exercise.
Today, I don't work out and I don't eat "healthy" either. I keep gaining weight.. each meal feels like a struggle because I try to find the most PERFECT thing to eat at each meal and can never decide.
I am close to hitting 300 lbs and miserable about my health. I feel like if I hit that number I will have a psychotic breakdown.
I am not diabetic, I don't have high blood pressure, or high cholestrol. I have tried Inosital, Doxycycline, Clyndomicine, and Metformin. I had a CT scan done for my lungs a few months ago and they caught fatty liver in that screening. I also have mild sleep apnea. My PCP has put in for GLP 1s MULTIPLE times but the insurance keeps denying it.
I started a TTC journey earlier in the year, but it is on hold right now. I have been advised to get WLS to at least get the "temporary balloon". I have been so against WLS but as I creep closer to 300 I feel so out of control. However, my fear with both GLP 1 and the WLS is gaining all the weight back when I stop taking the medication or remove the balloon when I am ready to TTC...
Does anyone understand or relate? Please don't tell me about your exercise routine, diet plan, or assortment of vitamins and supplements that helped you lose weight.