It's been over a month...

When I'm at work, I'm okay. When I'm with my family, I'm okay. When I am with my friends, I am okay. But when I am alone, that's when memories of you creeps in. Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night or at dawn, that's when I think of you the most even if I don't want to. In the quiet moments, I still think of you. A month of no notification from you. No good morning and good night chats. No more game invites from you. No more updates on what you are watching or what you are doing. And it makes me sad. I don't want to be sad anymore.

I don't know when this longing feeling will be over. I hate this feeling and I hope, really hope this too shall pass.

Gabe it stings talaga minsan kasi talagang oily skin ko. Tapos itong boss ko habang nag-uusap kaming mga babae, di pa pala nakamove on dun sa checklist ko dati before ako maregular.

Backstory: May 2 checklists kasi nung period na probi ako, 1 yung for work operations and 2 yung sa grooming. Yung sa grooming mga simple lang yon as in if nakamakeup ba ako or if nagsusuot ba ko id, nakauniform ba etc.

Sabi niya ako na raw maggrade sa self ko hahaha so ang ginawa dahil nagmamadali na kami non, pinerfect ko, as in 100% huhu di ko naman alam na seseryosohin niya pala. Nainis daw siya. Tapos kagabi napaalala ko na may checklist ulit ako kasi nag-iba ulit ako role sa work so may grading sheet ulit me pero wala na yung sa grooming (habang nagssmalltalk kami nung mga new hires kasama siya at yung bisor puro kami gurls) Sabi ba naman, biglang inungkat, di exactly to pero eto..

"Oh *name ko* ikaw yan na naman may grading sheet ka na naman. Ayusin mo baka madaliin mo na naman kami. Akalain mo itong babaeng to (nagsshare na siya sa iba) pinerfect yung grade niya, dun sa grooming, akala mo naman talagang malinis eh (inulit niya pa yan haha)

(Tapos nagreact yung isang new hire nga eh, grabe naman Ma'am ang sabi)

Kasi nagsting lang dahil struggle ko talaga oily skin, saka may pimples ako lalo na ngayon may dark spots pa then ang buhok ko pa di ko talaga alam if lalambot pa kaya nga nagpagupit na ko maikli. Pero kasi boss ko parang inis na inis sa mukha ko? Sa totoo lang haha grabe, iniisip ko yong sinabi niya until now. Tingin ko kasi talaga sa face ko is maasim na nga hahaha tapos ginanon pa huhu may right evenue naman sana sa gano'ng call out ng boss di ba, wag naman sana sa kami-kami pang mga babae. Mukha naman kasi silang mga ulikba, lamang lang sila ng kinis eme 😭😭

Known naman sa amin na maarte yung boss namin plus may pagka-mapanglait. Gusto niya mabango, maayos ganyan pero grabe talaga kasi inaayos ko naman sarili ko, saka if nakikita ko naman ibang kasama ko, hindi talaga sila gaanong nag-aayos but if maccompare mo talaga, medyo put up together silang tingnan kasi nga nabiyayaan ng magandang buhok plus walang acne. Ako kasi tingin ko talaga kahit di pa siya nagsasalita, mukha akong madungis, which is di ko makontrol medyo kasi nga talagang may acne pa rin eh 😭😭 ang mahal na ng binili kong mga gamot. Kaya nga magpapaderma ako noon ko pa pinaplano. Pero grabe talaga yung boss ko na yon to exert yung pagiging superior niya. Sabi talaga, akala mo naman kung sinong malinis, ang dating kasi sa akin, kahit anong effort ko ng pag-aayos, mukha pa rin akong ulikba haha

Yung visor ko nga naramdaman siguro na grabe naman yung boss ko, ang dagdag ba naman niya, oo kasi ma'am yung araw minsan wala siyang lipstick (dinaan na lang sa lipstick) pero I know sa self ko, yung overall appearance ko yung tinatarget ni boss

I always travel alone, but last September, I decided to book a trip to Thailand with one of my close friends. Both girls kami, and I thought it would be a fun experience to travel together.

Madalang lang din kami magkita, siguro once a month on average, kaya I always look forward to seeing her kasi close naman talaga kami.

Pero eto na, nung nasa trip na kami, doon ko na-realize na iba pala talaga kami in some ways. Matipid din naman ako, pero hindi naman to the point na kailangan i-compute lahat, especially when traveling. 😅

Naiinis din ako kasi every time na may gusto siyang food or item, hindi niya bibilhin unless bibili rin ako for myself. Minsan, nagko-compute na agad siya kung magkano ang utang habang nasa labas pa kami. Even when sharing food, I noticed na mas malaki pa minsan yung share niya.

Doon ko na-realize na iba rin pala talaga ang nagagawa ng travel sa friendship. Since kayong dalawa lang ang magkasama for several days, you'll get to see each other's habits, attitudes, and even sides na hindi mo usually nakikita kapag occasional lang kayo nagkikita.

Dagdag mo pa yung pagod, puyat, at stress sa pag-commute at pag-explore. Lahat talaga, mas ramdam mo. 😅

It made me realize na kahit close kayo ng isang tao, it doesn't necessarily mean compatible kayo as travel buddies.

Meron ba rito na naka-experience din ng ganito with a close friend? Did it change the way you see your friendship or your decision to travel together again?

Its been 5 years since my papa passed away from corona seriously i can't express my pain. Its been 5 years still i cry sometimes at night can't express my feelings to anyone because i have to be strong for my mother and my brother. I feel like if i cry on someone shoulder i will make myself weak. But i genuinely want a shoulder to cry upon. Too hard for me i have to handle all things by myself. I am indian

Pabuhos lang. I'm going through a rough patch rn and syempre una mong lalapitan ng tulong eh family mo. Minsan lang ako manghingi ng tulong at blessed ako na meron ako malalapitan na napagsabihan ko ng posibleng kailanganin ko. Nagpromise naman ng exact amount and kung kelan ibibigay, so syempre may ieexpect ako lalo na at pera ang usapan, para alam na kung magkano ang ilalaan para sa pagbudget.

Di naman makapal mukha ko para mangulit ng paulit ulit kasi ako na nga yung nanghihingi eh, pero nag ff up lang ako isang beses kasi nga paubos na din ako. Hindi naman ako nasabihan agad na hindi pala maibibigay yung amount na siya mismo nagsabi. Syempre mangangarag ako saan ako pwedeng kumuha ng pang gastos ko. Nakakalungkot lang na pagdating sa ibang tao, okay lang silang gumastos. Ang masakit kasi sakin dito, sure na nagsabi sakin tapos biglang babawiin. Sana hindi nalang nagsabi ng ieexpect kung di lang din tutuparin.

We sent out invites for our son's baptism. Gets naman yung mga nagche-check pa ng schedule, lalo na dito sa abroad na hindi fixed ang weekend off. No problem with that.

Ang nakakainis lang yung mga ise-seen ka lang, walang reply. O kaya mag-yes tapos hindi sisipot sa actual day, walang pasabi. Akala mo confirmed booking, yun pala free trial. 😂

Hindi naman required umattend just because invited ka. If you can't make it, okay lang naman. We're not collecting attendance fees. It's just basic courtesy, lalo na't may effort, budget, at planning din behind these events.

We cut off some people like this after our wedding, and honestly, iba lang din siguro perspective namin since we're raising our son abroad, malayo sa family. These milestones mean a lot to us, kaya ini-invite namin yung mga taong special sa buhay namin.

Anyway, rant lang. Normal na ba talaga 'to ngayon, or malas lang kami sa mga ini-invite? Hahaha.

Last na 'to, pramis. Sa mga susunod na birthdays namin, magta-travel na lang kaming family. At least walang RSVP, walang no-show. Kami-kami na lang. 😂✈️

My feelings center so much around self-shame, inferiority, and a heavy amount of guilt and regret. I didn't get to experience the canonical “female” events (like having a period around that same age range, sharing makeup and clothes, giving tips and whatnot, etc) that almost all girls, if not every girl in my life, got to go through. Not that it is anyone else's fault, it was my mistake for being obese, and due to being bullied at school for looking too much like a man, ostracized, and then pressured into actually identifying as one, I struggled to change for years. Having this male persona where I practically took everything like how a “real man should and would” made me insensitive to insult, assault, and situations which should've required the normal person to be angry or in grief about. I had videos and pictures taken of me that most likely still floats around group chats I know nothing of. I am probably still being talked about by the same seniors who used to humiliate me (and once again, took video/s of) and my partner during ballroom practices—maybe even the subject of gossip by my previous teachers at their workplace. I wonder if they repeat the same verbal violence they once spoke to me every hour, every minute of day to someone who carries my exact shadow. No matter what I do, even though I've lost weight, it still follows me like skeletons hidden in the closet. Those toxic, no, abusive friendships? Nothing more than just teens being teens, nothing for me to be traumatized about. Being dragged around like that, subjected to (mild, anyway) physical pain, isolated by my own peers, doing things out of my own will, having to just accept where they touched me, how they talked to me, the things they made me do, say and, act—everything's glossed over; I'm forgotten, like a breeze you'd think for a moment was refreshing, before it passes by through you.

How do I even explain this? Being a man feels like a societal expectation. It's what people have asked from me this entire time. It is a role I've perfectly embodied, blueprinted, and acted out in timely likeness. After assuming this false identity, I had never felt emotions ever again. I didn't know how to be anything else but consistently happy. Even when I was disassociating, even when my amnesia got so severe, I still get small chunks of memory till this day, even when I coped by wallowing it all down and choosing to forget myself. When I had crushes, I would get sick for months, refusing to acknowledge my feelings, and would wake up in persistent disgust. I had to remind and teach myself how to smile. I had no real humor, no real interests, no real hobbies, so I was the perfect vessel for projection. I wasn't a being that could change. I was not human. Therefore, I was incapable of pain.

Compared to that, being a woman feels like a biological assignment—like a prophecy bestowed, a calling I should've answered long ago. It's not as though being a girl was ever good for me either. I went through worst when I 'used' to be a girl as a child, up until my tween years before these incidents. But now, want to be a woman. But I can't be, because I'm already a man. But how could I be a woman, even so more hold the desire to be one, when a man is all I've ever been? But I can't be a man anymore, because now that I've lost all that weight, people expect me to be more of a woman. Then who even am I? It's like two black holes competing as to who can swallow the other first. I cannot live without being a man. But I also cannot live without being a woman. And in truth, I cannot live with both. I don't know who I am anymore.

Today's my birthday, I honestly don’t even feel like celebrating my birthday. I just want to treat it like any other day and continue working in the office as usual.

I think it started back in college when I became a workaholic because of my commitments to student organizations. Every October, there would be an important institutional event at my university, and I always played a significant role in making it happen. Eventually, I got so used to prioritizing work, responsibilities, and everyone else’s needs that celebrating my own birthday became an afterthought.

A lot has happened this year, too. I've been exhausted since August, when our department turned upside down. There's been so much to adjust to, and honestly, I just want some peace in my life. I don't want any drama, but somehow, it always finds its way to me. Add personal problems to the mix, and this October has been particularly difficult. I've found myself spiraling and falling back into self-sabotaging habits, and I'm honestly just tired but still functioning.

I even cancelled a dinner date my girlfriend had planned because I wanted to spend my weekend focusing on my report for my master’s class and her budget got tight 'coz something came up in her home.

Then, a coworker found out that my birthday is this Friday and suggested that we organize a potluck at the office since her birthday is also coming up the following week, although she had already filed for PTO next Friday (her birthday). I agreed, and a few days later, after I had already ordered food for the potluck, she suddenly backed out because she decided she'd rather celebrate during her own birthday week.

Now I'm stuck preparing a birthday potluck on my own for something I didn't even want to celebrate in the first place. I was perfectly fine spending my birthday like any other ordinary workday, nobody even knew my birthday is coming up, but somehow, I ended up organizing a celebration I never even planned for myself.

At this point, I don't even know if I genuinely don't care about celebrating my birthday anymore or if I'm just too exhausted to make a big deal out of it. Maybe I've spent so much of my life being the person who makes things happen for everyone else that I've forgotten how to make space for myself.

I don't want grand celebrations or anything extravagant. I just want to get through this year with a little less stress, a little more peace, and the chance to breathe without feeling like I have to deal with another problem. For once, I just want things to be okay.

A Letter for RYT.

Since wala naman nang chance na mabasa mo ito, dito ko na lang siguro sasabihin lahat ng mga bagay na hindi ko na nasabi sa’yo.

Hindi man maganda ang naging ending natin, at hindi man tayo nakapag-usap nang maayos noong huli tayong nagkita, nung hinatid ko sa’yo ang natitira mong mga gamit, I hope you know that I genuinely wish you well.

Alam kong masaya ka na sa buhay na meron ka ngayon, and I hope you know that you deserve every bit of that happiness.

I’m sorry. Sorry dahil pumasok agad ako sa isang bagong relationship kahit ilang buwan pa lang tayong naghiwalay. Alam kong nasaktan kita nang sobra, pati na rin ang mga taong naging part sa pagmamahalan natin. Hindi ko man na mababago ang mga nangyari, sana dumating ang araw na mapatawad mo rin ako.

Masaya akong makita na nagagawa mo na ulit ang mga bagay na dati mong isinantabi, at nae-enjoy mo na ang buhay na minsan mong iniwan para sa akin. Sana, sa pagkakataong ito, piliin mo naman ang sarili mo. Sana mahanap mo ulit ang mga parte ng sarili mo na unti-unti mong nakalimutan habang tayo ang magkasama. Sana maibalik mo ang mga sarili mo, matuklasan mo ang mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa’yo, at makilala mo ulit ang sarili mo beyond the person you were when we were together.

Thank you for the nine years you gave to us. Nine years is a long time, and no matter how things ended, I will never pretend that those years meant nothing. You were a huge part of my life. We shared so much of ourselves with each other, and there will always be a part of my story that will have you in it. I may not be able to change how our story ended, but I will always acknowledge that, for a long time, you were someone I called home.

Deserve mo lahat ng blessings na dumarating sa buhay mo ngayon, pati na rin ang lahat ng magagandang bagay na naghihintay pa sa’yo. I hope life continues to be kind to you. I hope you get to experience the kind of happiness that feels peaceful, the kind of love that never makes you question your worth, and the kind of life where you never have to lose yourself just to make someone else happy.
Maswerte ang taong mamahalin mong next because you have so much goodness in you. I hope they get to see it, appreciate it, and take care of your heart in ways that you deserve.

And if there is one thing I hope you remember, it is that despite how things ended between us, I never want life to be unkind to you. I genuinely hope you find everything you have been looking for, even if I am no longer someone you share those things with.
Maybe we were meant to be part of each other’s lives for a long time, but not forever. And as painful as that may be to accept, I hope we both find peace in the lives we have chosen to live apart.

Magiingat ka palagi. I hope you keep choosing yourself, keep growing, and keep finding reasons to be happy.

Thank you for the nine years. I hope life gives you all the beautiful things that I once wished we could experience together.

You will always be a part of my story, and I will always wish you well, even from a distance.

Hey, Luv.

It has been two weeks since we broke up, and I am starting to forget your face and voice. Even your photos and videos already look so foreign to me. You know I have trouble recognizing and remembering faces, so you made it a point to call me or send me photos every day so that your face would be etched into my memory. Now, I’m struggling to remember.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but it has helped me get over the pain of losing you. I would also like to believe your words—that there was no one else in this relationship and that you called it quits simply because you fell out of love. It seems that when we broke up in August, that was when you truly fell out of love. Distance did not make your heart grow fonder. Haha.

This is a letter I want to send you, but I can’t. We’re in the process of moving on, and friendship is not a good option for former lovers—especially for people like us, who loved intensely and burned out. Hence, I’m resorting to this place, hoping that this letter will reach you one way or another.

Thank you for the six months, truly. I told you everything I wanted to say when we last talked, but I still feel the need to get this across: I am so thankful I met you. You were a blessing I never anticipated. I felt so loved and beautiful when we were together. Three months was such a short honeymoon phase. I would have liked it better if we had been given more time together before we went long-distance. We were rushing things because you had to leave. Everything felt like stolen moments.

I don’t want to apologize anymore. I don’t want to regret anything about this relationship. I gave my all and loved you to the best of my abilities.

We might have ended things for reasons that hurt me so much more than they probably hurt you. Hahaha. You were the one who started this, but you were also the one who ended it, so let me have the liberty of being the one who hurt more. Hahahaha.

I wanted to be your partner for better or for worse. I still look at my left ring finger with disdain. How dare it get injured when I was looking forward to seeing you again on my birthday?

Maybe in the next lifetime, we could be together—in the right timing, with the right headspace, and in a better financial situation; in a place where there are no more insecurities or social gaps; in a setting where you no longer have to look at me as someone you could never please. I just want to love you and be loved by you.

Maybe in the next lifetime, I could be granted that.

I love you so much, my luv. Be happy always.

Goodbye.

May nasabi nanaman siyang masakit about sa akin. I'm not the perfect daughter she wanted pero hindi rin naman ako kasing-sama ng mga sinabi niya sa akin. Ang hirap ng nanay na di marunong makipag-communicate at mag-apologize. Ngayong matanda na ako ginagawa ko yung best ko na intindihin at pagpasensyahan siya. She had a rough life pero wag naman sanang ibunton ang trauma at frustrations sa akin. Masakit pa rin kahit di na ko bata at malawak na pag-intindi ko. Sana magkaroon ako ng lakas na pasanin tong bigat nang di na mapasa pa sa iba.

(Spoiler alert: This one's a bit of a downer.)

Two months ago, I was discarded by someone who avoids commitment. Today, I accidentally saw my ex with their new partner for the first time since the breakup (if you can even call it that). It threw me off, so I took a day off work.

Initially, I just planned to wallow all day. But then I thought, I don’t want to waste my entire day just thinking about what happened. I also wasn't in the right headspace to work. So, I did what any reasonable person would do... I opened ReClub and looked for an open play near me. 😅

It was my first time joining open-play badminton. I was a bit hesitant because I haven’t played in six months due to a medical condition and surgery. I felt like a newbie again, and I was worried I might not play well or become a burden to my partner.

I've tried pickleball a few times this past month, but badminton is still different. Sorry, not sorry. 😅 Before surgery, I was a decent intermediate player. I could control my shots, although my playmates knew I wasn’t the type to chase after every ball even if it cost us the game. HAHAHAHA

Lately, I’ve also noticed that I've become more aloof and socially awkward. I'm no longer the social butterfly I was before. I usually play with workmates, so joining an open play with complete strangers was a little outside my comfort zone. I enjoy doing things alone and genuinely like my own company, but this was different. In badminton doubles, you really have to communicate with your partner.

Thankfully, the queue manager (QM) was accommodating and the players were friendly. I met new people and even bonded with someone right away (of course, they were the first ones to approach me HAHAHAHA). I didn't expect it to be this fun! I missed the adrenaline rush from playing. I actually wished I had started sooner.

I guess that's one thing I'm learning about healing: you don't always have to wait until you're okay before you start living again.

Sometimes, you just have to get out of bed, find something to do, and show up for yourself. Even if you're alone. Even if you're nervous. Even if you’re not 100% okay.

Today, I chose to do something for myself instead of spending the whole day sulking. And for a few hours, I got to enjoy something that had nothing to do with my breakup. That's a win in my book. 💜

...Until the number of players increased and the waiting time got longer. So, I had some idle time between games.

I joined to move on, but the music on the court felt like a breakup anthem. 😭

It's like the universe said, “Oh, you want to heal? Here’s your soundtrack.” 💀 HAHAHAHAHA

Congrats mga pre md na kayo lahat, finally pasado na lahat ng tropa except me. I am happy for you guys!, pero ako siguro medyo depressed lang di ko na kasi na tuloy eh sensya na mga pre dito na lang me mag labas muna ng feelings di ko rin masabi sa iba talga nararamdaman ko. Frustrated lang ako sa sarili ko kasi di ko na natuloy yung pangarap ko, choice ko rin naman to and siguro may konting pagsisi pero wala eh nandito na tayo wala na rin naman magagawa.

Yes, as the title says, I don’t think marriage is for me anymore.

After failed relationships, I was still open to meeting someone and finding the right person. But as I started meeting new people, I realized that marriage seems to benefit men more than women.

Women are expected to take care of the home and family while also building their own careers. We’re expected to do so much, and sometimes, it feels like we have to give up parts of ourselves to meet those expectations. Honestly, I’m not sure I want that kind of life.

As a woman in my thirties, I still have so many things I want to do and discover. I want to grow, explore, and build a life that makes me happy. I used to imagine doing all these things with someone special, but now, I realize that doing them on my own isn’t so bad after all.

Maybe I’ll change my mind someday, or maybe I won’t. For now, I don’t want to feel pressured to get married just because I’m already in my thirties.

I still believe in love, but I’m learning that I don’t need marriage to live a happy and meaningful life. If I end up doing life on my own, I know I’ll be okay with that.

I know that I have so much love and have so much capability to love someone but I don't think I can be in a relationship anymore. I don't think I will ever be someone who can give myself fully to someone again. I'm nearing my mid 30s, I always wanted to be a dad, to have a family, to give all my love to my future wife and kids but sadly, I think that it isn't something for me anymore.

I lost the girl I always thought I would spend my life with. She betrayed me for 3 years, gaslit me and blamed me by telling me I'm toxic, I'm insecure, by threatening to break up.

She never proved what the extent of her betrayal was, she trickled truth me for months and months. She continued to lie for weeks about different matters aside from her cheating.

I only had two long relationships, sadly both my partners cheated on me.

Being cheated on takes something inside you that you know you won't be able to rebuild again. You lose the capability to be at peace, to be trusting, to not worry if you'll be hurt again.

Sadly, I can never give all this love again. I can never give myself again. I can never trust anyone again.

Kayo rin ba? There's heaviness deep within na hindi ko masabi o mapangalanan o kahit bigyan ng description kasi hindi ko alam kung anong dahilan ba't ako nagkakaganon.

Kumbaga, maraming factors ang posibleng nakakaimpluwensiya kaya ’di matukoy ang puno't dulo ng lahat.

It keeps boggling my mind, and it's stuck in my chest.

dumaan sa feed ko yung video ni dr. kilimangaru about sa kung paano makaalis sa “survival mode” and one of his main points dun is kailangan mo gumawa ng paraan na i-drop yung mga bagay nagho-hold back sayo.

sounds easy right?

pero paano kung di ko naman kontrolado yung sitwasyon?

nakakapagod na rin minsan. i’m already 26 years old, and until now hindi ko pa rin alam kung anong path ba dapat yung tahakin ko. parang lagi akong naghahabol. di ko alam kung tamad ba ko, hindi ba enough yung skills ko, or sadyang ginagago lang ako ng mundo hahaha. it’s been 10 months since I was laid off from my full time job, and since then parang lagi akong nasa “survival mode”.

i work as a freelancer/business owner. nagkakaroon ng clients every now and then, pero wala pa rin akong nahahanap na full time until now, and hindi rin ako makapag-full time dahil sa sitwasyon ng family namin ngayon.

my mom has cancer, stage 4. ako lang yung inaasahan sa pamilya namin maglakad lagi ng papeles niya for medicine and other procedures niya. i mean, wala naman sa akin yun, ayos lang kahit ilang beses akong naglalakad every month para sa gamot niya, pero ayun dahil doon I need to sacrifice my career (which I’m not sure if career nga bang matatawag) and shift into a more flexible setup. hindi ako makapag-full time dahil most likely matatanggal din ako kung madalas akong mag-aabsent para maglakad ng papers niya. thankfully naman, kahit papaano may freelance projects ako na totally flexible kasi nga project-based lang naman. unlike pag nag-full time ako, mas hindi ko matutukan and maasikaso yung gamot ng mom ko kung sakali.

i don’t want to make it like an excuse and to sound na parang sinisisi ko yung sitwasyon pero, minsan napapaisip lang ako kung hanggang kailan ako ganito. ngayon, napapaisip na naman ako kung saan ako kukuha ng income for november. yung next client payment ko kasi most likely december ko pa makukuha. tapos after non, panibagong hanap ulit. i mean, mahal ko naman yung ginagawa ko. pero pakiramdam ko lang i can do so much more sana kung di lang napunta sa akin tong responsibility na to. but then, family comes first naman always, and ok na rin siguro na na lay-off ako nung january kasi mas nakapagfocus ako sa mga needs ng mom ko. sinabi ko rin na what if mag-abroad nalang muna ako or sumampa sa barko para mas makatulong sa finances, sabi niya wag na daw muna. kasi ok pa naman kami, and tbf mas ok din naman yun kasi ayoko na umalis ako tapos umabot sa point na di ko na makikita yung mom ko pag-uwi.

ayun. gusto ko lang ilabas dito kasi ayoko rin naman na ‘to i-dump sa ibang tao dahil masyado ring mabigat. gusto ko na makaalis sa ganitong sitwasyon. kung may ganito rin na similar na situation sakin, sana malampasan natin to.

Hi everyone! Gusto ko lang talaga mag-vent out ng frustration ko ngayon. Currently thinking na talaga if mag-reresign na ako sa work ko sa isang government office.

To be honest, okay naman at bearable para sa akin yung mismong trabaho. Kahit sobrang daming tao araw-araw na kailangang asikasuhin, kakayanin naman. Ang hindi na talaga bearable at sobrang toxic ay yung mga kasama sa trabaho at kung paano kami tratuhin.

Eto yung mga main reasons kung bakit sagad na sagad na ako:

Mga tsismosa at judgemental na mga kasama na para bang hinuhulaan at binabantayan lahat ng galaw mo. Yung tipong lahat na lang ng gawin mo mali, at sa lahat na lang ng bagay may say sila.

Hindi ko na rin alam kung ano ba talaga ang role ng dept head namin kasi pati ibang taga top management (which is very sipsip sa pinaka head) nangingialam at nagmamando sa schedule at workloads namin.

at Kapag nagre-request kami ng day off lang naman kasi may importanteng aasikasuhin o special day—alam niyo ba kung anong sinasabi? WALA raw kaming karapatan kasi JOB ORDER lang kami. Nakikiusap naman ng maayos pero ang sagot nila parang hindi ka katrabaho kala mo sila nagpapasahod

Naiiyak ako sa sobrang sama ng loob ko ngayon. Sakal na sakal ang pakiramdam ko. gusto ko magsabi sa parents ko na gusto ko na umalis pero nahihiya ako kasi may kapatid pa akong nag aaral at ayaw kong umasa ulit sa kanila. Iniisip ko din to jump private na specifically mag bpo na kasi hindi ko talaga kaya makasama pa sila.

I'm 31, and honestly, there's something I've been noticing lately that I just want to get off my chest.

Bakit parang ang daming conversations about being in our 30s na ang dating is we're already old, running out of time, or somehow too late for certain things in life?

Yung mga posts about turning 30 na parang automatic masakit na lahat ng joints mo, or questions like "30 na ako, too late na ba to find love?", "30 na ako, wala pa rin akong nararating," and so on.

And don't get me wrong. I know some of these are just jokes, and I understand that everyone has their own struggles, insecurities, and pressures. I'm not trying to invalidate any of that. I'm in my 30s too, and believe me, I have my own share of worries and uncertainties.

But sometimes I genuinely wonder, why are we making our 30s sound like the beginning of the end?

We're 30, not 80. 😭

I feel like we've romanticized this whole idea of being in our 30s as this stage where everything suddenly becomes serious, where we're supposed to have everything figured out, and where every little thing becomes a reminder that we're getting older.

And honestly, I find that a little sad.

Because 30 is still young. We still have so much to experience, so many things to learn, so many opportunities to take, and so many versions of ourselves that we haven't even met yet.

Why do we have to put so much pressure on ourselves just because we've entered a new decade?

Hindi naman race ang buhay. Hindi porket 30 ka na at single ka pa rin, late ka na sa love. Hindi porket hindi ka pa financially stable, failure ka na. Hindi porket nagsisimula ka pa lang ulit sa career mo, napag-iwanan ka na.

And yes, our bodies change as we age. That's natural. But I don't think we should automatically associate being 30 with being old and deteriorating either.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, can we please normalize being in our 30s without making it sound like we're running out of life?

We can acknowledge the struggles of adulthood without constantly treating our age like a deadline.

I don't know if I'm making sense, but I genuinely believe our 30s can be a beautiful stage of life, too. Not because everything is perfect or figured out, but because we're still growing and discovering what we want out of life.

Maybe instead of constantly asking ourselves if we're too old or too late, we should remind ourselves that we're still here, still capable of starting over, and still have so much ahead of us.

Just sharing my thoughts. No hate to anyone who feels differently. I'm genuinely curious if anyone else has been thinking about this too.

After school, my daughter went to a playground at the mall. She was so happy because this was my little treat for her to celebrate a milestone. We paid for a two-hour play session, and she was excited to spend the afternoon there.

After almost an hour, my daughter came up to me and said she wanted to go home. She didn't seem grumpy or upset, but I could tell that something was wrong. That feeling stayed with me even after we had some snacks.

During our car ride home, I finally asked her what had happened. I told her that I had a feeling something was bothering her and that she could always tell me anything because I would always be her safe space. That was when she started opening up.

Apparently, another child approached her and became her playmate. They eventually started talking about their lives, and the child asked where her mother and father were. My daughter explained that she only had her mother because I am a single mom.

The other child then told her that she was not blessed by God. My daughter was even told that she would eventually burn in hell. According to the other child, only children of married couples were blessed. My daughter took those words to heart.

As a mother, it breaks my heart to know that my child had to experience something like that. I wish I could have protected her from hearing those words, but I also know that I cannot shield her from everything the world might throw at her. What I can do is remind her that our family is no less worthy of love and respect just because it looks different from others. Being raised by a single mother does not make her any less blessed, loved, or deserving of happiness.

To my fellow parents, please teach your children to be mindful of what they say to others. Teach them that not every family looks the same and that differences are never an excuse to belittle someone. Children learn their values from the adults around them, and we have a responsibility to guide them toward empathy, kindness, and respect.

I hope no child ever has to question their worth because of another child's words. I hope we raise children who know how to be kind, even when they encounter someone whose life is different from their own.

...but a little sad to know that I didn't have the guts and motivation to execute them, only to see the ideas grow and fully blossom.

• I had a good idea to supply certain items for my wife's business through my own hobby (3D printing); I didn't push through with it because I didn't have enough time and when I suggested it to my wife, she wasn't sure about it. Months later, other people had the same basic idea and eventually grew their businesses because of it.
• I had the idea of building an app to help fellow Filipinos determine scam/fraudulent/suspicious emails and SMS. Even purchased the domain for it and had an MVP running. Life happened, project got shelved because I had more open questions than answers for it (including monetization ideas). Months later, a popular tech person had the same idea, built it, and advertised it through a common non-profit community. I was happy to support it "for the cause" that I sent him a message, offering to let him use the domain, which I eventually transferred to him when the lease expired. Today, government agencies partnered with him to promote the service for everyone to use. 🤣🥲

---

There's so much ideas stuck on my shelf, and I'm adding more to it on a daily basis. Still trying to find my zest again to actually see one through for myself, and maybe get it mainstream some day. 🙂

hi offmychestph, it's me again. nag ppms lang ako and currently, i don't really have anyone to talk to so dito na lang ako maglalabas ng sama ng loob uli.

ang dami kong nababasa na nagsasabing di naman karera ang buhay pero bat ganun, feel ko napag-iwanan na ko?

growing up, i feel like hindi ko na experience yung mga bagay na na-experience ng iba. yung tipong may mag aaya na lang sayo tapos mag party party kayo ng friends mo, or may mag aaya mag hiking, or yung tipong nakaka labas ka at nagagawa mo gusto mo kasi may financial freedom ka to do so. hindi kasi ako pinayagan mag work as a sideline nung nag aaral ako, focus lang daw ako sa studies ko, and sure enough — naka graduate naman ako with latin honors. pero alam niyo yun? hanggang ngayon dinadamdam ko pa rin ng todo yung feeling na ang dami kong namiss out sa buhay. ang dami kong hindi na experience dahil lagi na lang ako nag titipid, lagi na lang ako mindful of my own expenses kasi limited lang din binibigay sakin na allowance.

next week monday, birthday ko na, pero feel ko iiyak lang ako kasi hindi ko nanaman magagawa mga gusto kong gawin

It bothers me kasi I saw this post talking about people that "dont seem to care" abt sa El Niño. Especially some comments na parang may lack of empathy sa mga d nagpreprepare and even mock and look down on them.

Maghoard ng stocks, bumili ng malalaking balde para mag ipon ng tubig, save extra cash in case of emergencies. Tama naman lahat ng yan, it's best for us to be prepared kahit papaano. But just because YOU are capable of being prepared, doesnt mean that others who arent are ignorant, stupid, hard-headed, or dont believe in El Niño.

You have to understand that the majority of Filipinos earn low income/are from low income families. May mga families that worry about loans/utang, rent, medical bills, electric bills, etc. There are single parents, working students, street vendors, farmers, ordinary people that have too many problems in their hands to focus on the upcoming drought and storms. Which is why they would most likely prioritize other things rather than the El Niño. And I was only talking about those who live in rural and urban areas, paano pa kaya sa mga nakatira sa remote, isolated areas with no water or electricity? Dont forget that we are a 3rd world country suffering inflation as well, naku mahal na ng bilihin as in.

Oo, pwede parin naman gawan ng paraan yan kahit papaano. But even that has its own limits depending on the person's financial capabilities. It wont be enough for some/most to last the entire El Niño. Which is why dito ko nakikita kung bakit ung iba ay pinipilit na "resilient" sila and brush off this crisis, it may be their way of coping with the fact that they cant afford prepare and only have to rely on their resilience.

I am not encouraging people to simply think of El Niño as something na dapat hayaan nalang mangyari at wag na maghanda, nor am I defending the those who dont prepare for the wrong reasons. This is simply a loooonggg insight as to why there are those who choose not to prepare for the upcoming global crisis.

To those who are fully prepared, I salute you for being able to take care of yourself/your family. But before you judge those who dont do the same as you do, put yourselves on other people's shoes first.

TLDR: Sorry na ung iba kasi sa amin d afford maghoard or bumili ng equipment e, may mga pinagdadaanan din kasi kami na mas kailangan unahin😔✌️

Been in UAE for more than a decade and working for the same company since then. Wala nman ako complaint sa work dahil mabait ang amo and ok nman ang work life balance. Ayos din nman ang sahod dahil may libre pabahay at ibang bonuses. The problem is i feel like i'm not improving anymore. Ganito na ba ako mag reretire at dito sa UAE ? PRC license ako sa Philippines. May time pa kaya to migrate sa bansa na nag ooffer ng permanent residency/ Citizenship ? I'm 40 years old na rin and feeling ko wla nang oras para sa migration. Thanks un lang.

Tbh minsan nalulungkot ako magbukas ng reddit kasi nalulungkot ako sa nararanasan ng mga pilipino ngayon.

I have 4 jobs, solo living, walang anak, pero yung kinikita ko sapat lang para sa kumportableng pamumuhay. Hindi tulad ng ibang freelancers, hindi ako masaya na tumataas yung dolyar sa totoo lang. Imagine bumibili ako sa DALI ng kape, 12 pcs na itlog, lemon square cheesecake, fudgee barr, cup noodles, umaabot pa ng ₱700+ na hindi naman dapat ganon.

Pag nababasa ko yung mga post dito na nagtitipid na sila to the point na pati kuryente tinitipid na naisip ko na lang na in this heat pano pa mabubuhay nang maayos mga pilipino. Ako nga na kerami na ng trabaho, normal na pamumuhay, nasa ‘kumportableng’ state lang ako. Hindi rin madali kasi health ko yung sinasakripisyo ko pero ano? Magpapakakuba para magkaron ng kumportableng buhay.

Di ko din alam, siguro ang point ko lang sa post na to ay huwag na tayong maging resilient at i-normalize natin na isang trabaho is enough para masustain ang isang buhay. Sana buhay pa ko kapag dumating yung panahon na pinapadali na ng gobyerno ang buhay ng mga pilipino.