May kachat ako at first masaya and he’s very nice like literally but kalaunan my insecurity eats me up. I feel lng ang layo namin sa buhay but he’s very consistent sakin he makes me happy and kahit malayu ang bahay nila saamin mag offer sha to order me foods pero ako yung aayaw kasi kaya ko naman if ever may cravings ako. Idk im scared baka if patapos na kami or magkaproblema kami isusumbat niya sakin mga nagawa niya or naibigay niya but I dont think he’s that kind of person pero yun nga naramdaman niya sguro I keep pushing him away at binibigyan ko sha nang attitude para ayaw na niya sakin totally kasi naiinsecure ako out of my league kasi tas ako mahirap lng tas minimum wage. Even though never ako tumatanggap nang kung ano galing sakanya kasi rin sguro sa mga ex ko na trauma rin ako eh lgi kasing bare minimum yung matatanggap ko even though hindi naman ako nagrereklamo na babaguhan lng talaga ako pag medyo may pera at pogi yung kausap ko kasi feeling ko basura ko at madali nila akong e drop in a heartbeat because they will find someone better tas well off rin sa buhay.

Hays sana ma overcome ko itong insecurity ko :(( hirap kasi maging mahirap minsan nawawalan na akong oras sa mga ganyang bagay kasi lgi nalang work,tulog tas help rin sa family. Pero I know naman one day magiging okay na ako and capable na ako to love someone and I hope that someone will accept who I am and my situation. Although I want to give my kausap a chance feeling ko di rin mag wowork.

nakakainis!!! nakakagalit!! hindi ko alam kung jowa ba itong matuturing 😭

sinabihan lang naman ako ng jowa ko ng ganito after ko sabihin na wala akong pera

"Tska na tayo magusap ang dami kong problema".

for context

kulang ang pera nya pantubos sa jersey ng mga bagets nya sa vball, nanghihiram sya ng pera sakin which is malaking halaga and wala akong ganon dahil wala na ko work as of now at alam nya yon!

sabi ko saknya ang pera na nasakin ay yung pang bday trip na gagawin sa bday ko next week.

mind you kumuha din sya ng laptop under my name (oo alam ko tanga)

yung first month ako pumuno ng kulang

2nd month ako nagbayad pero sabi ko bayaran nya

may previous din syabg utang na hindi ko naman na muna sinisingil.

im struggling super pero hindi ko sya sinabihan ng ganyan

nakakasama lalo ng loob ni hindi ko nakompronta

Yeah, you read it right. I wanna go to the bar. Never pa me nakapasok in my 26 years of existence. I felt like wala akong time due to my loadworks and even weekend of mine is full of household chores. Nakita ko kasi today sa FB na parang two friends sa table ng bar, drinking ng san mig while working (dunno if working or still in college but yung point ko nandon hehehe) gusto ko yon, yung nag aayos ako timekeeping/dtr while drinking sa bar. Wala lang. Is it weird? But I want thaaaaaaaaaat HUHUHUHUHUHUHUH BUT IM TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ENDE KO ALAM SHY? (LOL) PERO SERYOSO TAKOT AKO MAG ISA

We sent out invites for our son's baptism. Gets naman yung mga nagche-check pa ng schedule, lalo na dito sa abroad na hindi fixed ang weekend off. No problem with that.

Ang nakakainis lang yung mga ise-seen ka lang, walang reply. O kaya mag-yes tapos hindi sisipot sa actual day, walang pasabi. Akala mo confirmed booking, yun pala free trial. 😂

Hindi naman required umattend just because invited ka. If you can't make it, okay lang naman. We're not collecting attendance fees. It's just basic courtesy, lalo na't may effort, budget, at planning din behind these events.

We cut off some people like this after our wedding, and honestly, iba lang din siguro perspective namin since we're raising our son abroad, malayo sa family. These milestones mean a lot to us, kaya ini-invite namin yung mga taong special sa buhay namin.

Anyway, rant lang. Normal na ba talaga 'to ngayon, or malas lang kami sa mga ini-invite? Hahaha.

Last na 'to, pramis. Sa mga susunod na birthdays namin, magta-travel na lang kaming family. At least walang RSVP, walang no-show. Kami-kami na lang. 😂✈️

My feelings center so much around self-shame, inferiority, and a heavy amount of guilt and regret. I didn't get to experience the canonical “female” events (like having a period around that same age range, sharing makeup and clothes, giving tips and whatnot, etc) that almost all girls, if not every girl in my life, got to go through. Not that it is anyone else's fault, it was my mistake for being obese, and due to being bullied at school for looking too much like a man, ostracized, and then pressured into actually identifying as one, I struggled to change for years. Having this male persona where I practically took everything like how a “real man should and would” made me insensitive to insult, assault, and situations which should've required the normal person to be angry or in grief about. I had videos and pictures taken of me that most likely still floats around group chats I know nothing of. I am probably still being talked about by the same seniors who used to humiliate me (and once again, took video/s of) and my partner during ballroom practices—maybe even the subject of gossip by my previous teachers at their workplace. I wonder if they repeat the same verbal violence they once spoke to me every hour, every minute of day to someone who carries my exact shadow. No matter what I do, even though I've lost weight, it still follows me like skeletons hidden in the closet. Those toxic, no, abusive friendships? Nothing more than just teens being teens, nothing for me to be traumatized about. Being dragged around like that, subjected to (mild, anyway) physical pain, isolated by my own peers, doing things out of my own will, having to just accept where they touched me, how they talked to me, the things they made me do, say and, act—everything's glossed over; I'm forgotten, like a breeze you'd think for a moment was refreshing, before it passes by through you.

How do I even explain this? Being a man feels like a societal expectation. It's what people have asked from me this entire time. It is a role I've perfectly embodied, blueprinted, and acted out in timely likeness. After assuming this false identity, I had never felt emotions ever again. I didn't know how to be anything else but consistently happy. Even when I was disassociating, even when my amnesia got so severe, I still get small chunks of memory till this day, even when I coped by wallowing it all down and choosing to forget myself. When I had crushes, I would get sick for months, refusing to acknowledge my feelings, and would wake up in persistent disgust. I had to remind and teach myself how to smile. I had no real humor, no real interests, no real hobbies, so I was the perfect vessel for projection. I wasn't a being that could change. I was not human. Therefore, I was incapable of pain.

Compared to that, being a woman feels like a biological assignment—like a prophecy bestowed, a calling I should've answered long ago. It's not as though being a girl was ever good for me either. I went through worst when I 'used' to be a girl as a child, up until my tween years before these incidents. But now, want to be a woman. But I can't be, because I'm already a man. But how could I be a woman, even so more hold the desire to be one, when a man is all I've ever been? But I can't be a man anymore, because now that I've lost all that weight, people expect me to be more of a woman. Then who even am I? It's like two black holes competing as to who can swallow the other first. I cannot live without being a man. But I also cannot live without being a woman. And in truth, I cannot live with both. I don't know who I am anymore.

Share ko lang dito guys na sobrang nalulungkot ako para sa ate ko kasi yung tatay ng anak nya ni hindi man lang nagpakita once at nag suporta simula pinanganak pamangkin ko hanggang ngayon na 8yrs old na sya.

Walang stable na trabaho or source of income si ate at meron pang mga loans na di nabayaran kaya kameng ibang kapatid nya nag aambag para matulungan silang mag ina. Kaso ako kasi nakabukod na at may sariling pamilya na rin so meron na talagang boundaries sa pag he-help financially.

Sinabihan ko si ate na mag hanap ng VA jobs para at least sa bahay lang sya at mababantayan pa rin nya anak nya. Since first time nya lang mag VA (though meron syang experience sa admin works) nahihirapan sya sa tight competition ngayon tapos yung AI nga 🙁

Sa ngayon, part time cleaner sya sa kapitbahay namen tapos may one time na narinig ko dati tinataasan sya ng boses at grabe makademand na pumunta agad sa house nila para mag linis. Eh kaso nakatulog ata si ate nun kaya di napansin yung oras. Nahurt ako para sa kanya. Sabi ko sa kanya na maghanap na lang sya ng ibang trabaho na mas maayos ang trato ng amo nya.

I feel powerless na tulungan sya ngayon kasi literal na malayo ako sa kanya at hindi ako agad-agad makakauwi ng Pinas dahil mahal pamasahe and ang daming gastos sa bahay.

Baka meron kayong alam na companies na hiring at pwede maipasok ate ko? Kung wala man salamat pa rin sa pagbabasa netong sinulat ko at hopefully magkaroon na rin sya ng trabaho soon 🙏

hello! writing this out to vent lang din about weird discord servers from reddit, ang daming mga taong nagtatago sa sarili nilang insecurities there and they will project it on you, ang dami ding mahilig mang offend tapos sila pa ang galit when you are offended with what they said

and most of these people are in their 30s na ha? just wow

anyway please be careful sa pagsali sa mga discord servers from reddit especially when you sense that most of the guys there are just there to seek validation from girls while they cannot even show their real faces, no, just no

yun lang ☀️

I have 18 cats. All of which are rescues. Earlier this year, the eldest of them all caught Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP). We just finished 84 shots of medication. I barely had enough time to recover from the fear of losing him until this week, one of the younger cats was diagnosed of Chronic Kidney Failure. Yung takot ko patong-patong, nahihirapan ako huminga. Literal na parang sasabog dibdib ko. I love my cats so much, parang mauuna ako sa kanila because of broken heart syndrome pag nagkakasakit sila.

hi offmychestph, it's me again. nag ppms lang ako and currently, i don't really have anyone to talk to so dito na lang ako maglalabas ng sama ng loob uli.

ang dami kong nababasa na nagsasabing di naman karera ang buhay pero bat ganun, feel ko napag-iwanan na ko?

growing up, i feel like hindi ko na experience yung mga bagay na na-experience ng iba. yung tipong may mag aaya na lang sayo tapos mag party party kayo ng friends mo, or may mag aaya mag hiking, or yung tipong nakaka labas ka at nagagawa mo gusto mo kasi may financial freedom ka to do so. hindi kasi ako pinayagan mag work as a sideline nung nag aaral ako, focus lang daw ako sa studies ko, and sure enough — naka graduate naman ako with latin honors. pero alam niyo yun? hanggang ngayon dinadamdam ko pa rin ng todo yung feeling na ang dami kong namiss out sa buhay. ang dami kong hindi na experience dahil lagi na lang ako nag titipid, lagi na lang ako mindful of my own expenses kasi limited lang din binibigay sakin na allowance.

next week monday, birthday ko na, pero feel ko iiyak lang ako kasi hindi ko nanaman magagawa mga gusto kong gawin

It bothers me kasi I saw this post talking about people that "dont seem to care" abt sa El Niño. Especially some comments na parang may lack of empathy sa mga d nagpreprepare and even mock and look down on them.

Maghoard ng stocks, bumili ng malalaking balde para mag ipon ng tubig, save extra cash in case of emergencies. Tama naman lahat ng yan, it's best for us to be prepared kahit papaano. But just because YOU are capable of being prepared, doesnt mean that others who arent are ignorant, stupid, hard-headed, or dont believe in El Niño.

You have to understand that the majority of Filipinos earn low income/are from low income families. May mga families that worry about loans/utang, rent, medical bills, electric bills, etc. There are single parents, working students, street vendors, farmers, ordinary people that have too many problems in their hands to focus on the upcoming drought and storms. Which is why they would most likely prioritize other things rather than the El Niño. And I was only talking about those who live in rural and urban areas, paano pa kaya sa mga nakatira sa remote, isolated areas with no water or electricity? Dont forget that we are a 3rd world country suffering inflation as well, naku mahal na ng bilihin as in.

Oo, pwede parin naman gawan ng paraan yan kahit papaano. But even that has its own limits depending on the person's financial capabilities. It wont be enough for some/most to last the entire El Niño. Which is why dito ko nakikita kung bakit ung iba ay pinipilit na "resilient" sila and brush off this crisis, it may be their way of coping with the fact that they cant afford prepare and only have to rely on their resilience.

I am not encouraging people to simply think of El Niño as something na dapat hayaan nalang mangyari at wag na maghanda, nor am I defending the those who dont prepare for the wrong reasons. This is simply a loooonggg insight as to why there are those who choose not to prepare for the upcoming global crisis.

To those who are fully prepared, I salute you for being able to take care of yourself/your family. But before you judge those who dont do the same as you do, put yourselves on other people's shoes first.

TLDR: Sorry na ung iba kasi sa amin d afford maghoard or bumili ng equipment e, may mga pinagdadaanan din kasi kami na mas kailangan unahin😔✌️

I always travel alone, but last September, I decided to book a trip to Thailand with one of my close friends. Both girls kami, and I thought it would be a fun experience to travel together.

Madalang lang din kami magkita, siguro once a month on average, kaya I always look forward to seeing her kasi close naman talaga kami.

Pero eto na, nung nasa trip na kami, doon ko na-realize na iba pala talaga kami in some ways. Matipid din naman ako, pero hindi naman to the point na kailangan i-compute lahat, especially when traveling. 😅

Naiinis din ako kasi every time na may gusto siyang food or item, hindi niya bibilhin unless bibili rin ako for myself. Minsan, nagko-compute na agad siya kung magkano ang utang habang nasa labas pa kami. Even when sharing food, I noticed na mas malaki pa minsan yung share niya.

Doon ko na-realize na iba rin pala talaga ang nagagawa ng travel sa friendship. Since kayong dalawa lang ang magkasama for several days, you'll get to see each other's habits, attitudes, and even sides na hindi mo usually nakikita kapag occasional lang kayo nagkikita.

Dagdag mo pa yung pagod, puyat, at stress sa pag-commute at pag-explore. Lahat talaga, mas ramdam mo. 😅

It made me realize na kahit close kayo ng isang tao, it doesn't necessarily mean compatible kayo as travel buddies.

Meron ba rito na naka-experience din ng ganito with a close friend? Did it change the way you see your friendship or your decision to travel together again?

Tbh minsan nalulungkot ako magbukas ng reddit kasi nalulungkot ako sa nararanasan ng mga pilipino ngayon.

I have 4 jobs, solo living, walang anak, pero yung kinikita ko sapat lang para sa kumportableng pamumuhay. Hindi tulad ng ibang freelancers, hindi ako masaya na tumataas yung dolyar sa totoo lang. Imagine bumibili ako sa DALI ng kape, 12 pcs na itlog, lemon square cheesecake, fudgee barr, cup noodles, umaabot pa ng ₱700+ na hindi naman dapat ganon.

Pag nababasa ko yung mga post dito na nagtitipid na sila to the point na pati kuryente tinitipid na naisip ko na lang na in this heat pano pa mabubuhay nang maayos mga pilipino. Ako nga na kerami na ng trabaho, normal na pamumuhay, nasa ‘kumportableng’ state lang ako. Hindi rin madali kasi health ko yung sinasakripisyo ko pero ano? Magpapakakuba para magkaron ng kumportableng buhay.

Di ko din alam, siguro ang point ko lang sa post na to ay huwag na tayong maging resilient at i-normalize natin na isang trabaho is enough para masustain ang isang buhay. Sana buhay pa ko kapag dumating yung panahon na pinapadali na ng gobyerno ang buhay ng mga pilipino.

After school, my daughter went to a playground at the mall. She was so happy because this was my little treat for her to celebrate a milestone. We paid for a two-hour play session, and she was excited to spend the afternoon there.

After almost an hour, my daughter came up to me and said she wanted to go home. She didn't seem grumpy or upset, but I could tell that something was wrong. That feeling stayed with me even after we had some snacks.

During our car ride home, I finally asked her what had happened. I told her that I had a feeling something was bothering her and that she could always tell me anything because I would always be her safe space. That was when she started opening up.

Apparently, another child approached her and became her playmate. They eventually started talking about their lives, and the child asked where her mother and father were. My daughter explained that she only had her mother because I am a single mom.

The other child then told her that she was not blessed by God. My daughter was even told that she would eventually burn in hell. According to the other child, only children of married couples were blessed. My daughter took those words to heart.

As a mother, it breaks my heart to know that my child had to experience something like that. I wish I could have protected her from hearing those words, but I also know that I cannot shield her from everything the world might throw at her. What I can do is remind her that our family is no less worthy of love and respect just because it looks different from others. Being raised by a single mother does not make her any less blessed, loved, or deserving of happiness.

To my fellow parents, please teach your children to be mindful of what they say to others. Teach them that not every family looks the same and that differences are never an excuse to belittle someone. Children learn their values from the adults around them, and we have a responsibility to guide them toward empathy, kindness, and respect.

I hope no child ever has to question their worth because of another child's words. I hope we raise children who know how to be kind, even when they encounter someone whose life is different from their own.

...but a little sad to know that I didn't have the guts and motivation to execute them, only to see the ideas grow and fully blossom.

• I had a good idea to supply certain items for my wife's business through my own hobby (3D printing); I didn't push through with it because I didn't have enough time and when I suggested it to my wife, she wasn't sure about it. Months later, other people had the same basic idea and eventually grew their businesses because of it.
• I had the idea of building an app to help fellow Filipinos determine scam/fraudulent/suspicious emails and SMS. Even purchased the domain for it and had an MVP running. Life happened, project got shelved because I had more open questions than answers for it (including monetization ideas). Months later, a popular tech person had the same idea, built it, and advertised it through a common non-profit community. I was happy to support it "for the cause" that I sent him a message, offering to let him use the domain, which I eventually transferred to him when the lease expired. Today, government agencies partnered with him to promote the service for everyone to use. 🤣🥲

---

There's so much ideas stuck on my shelf, and I'm adding more to it on a daily basis. Still trying to find my zest again to actually see one through for myself, and maybe get it mainstream some day. 🙂

Pa-rant lang because honestly, I’m so fed up, and I need an outside perspective.

I work remotely for a company with a small team. I have this one and ONLY Filipina coworker who’s in her 30s and has children. We’ve been working together for around 7 months, and ever since we started, I’ve noticed that she tends to take certain workplace situations personally. At first, I just brushed it off. I figured we all have our own struggles, and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of anything. But after what happened last night, napuno na talaga ako.

First incident: The clock-in/clock-out issue.

One of our coworkers sometimes forgets to update her working hours. Since I regularly communicate with this coworker, she’ll occasionally ask me to remind the person responsible for fixing the hours. So naturally, I relay the message. That’s it.

But every time I do, this coworker gets annoyed and says something along the lines of, “Bakit kailangan ikaw pa magsabi sa akin? Bakit hindi siya directly magsabi sa akin? Approachable naman ako.”

And I’m just sitting there thinking, What exactly did I do wrong? I was literally asked to pass along a message. Why am I suddenly involved in an issue about whether someone finds you approachable? If you prefer direct communication, then talk to that person. Why direct your frustration at me when I’m simply doing what I was asked?

Second incident: The office group chat.

She created a group chat with the other office members but didn’t include me.

Her explanation? We already communicate personally through text, so she didn’t think I needed to be there.

And you know what? I didn’t complain. I didn’t ask why I wasn’t included. I didn’t assume she disliked me. I just accepted her explanation and moved on. I figured that if there was anything important I needed to know, someone would communicate it to me.

Keep this in mind because it becomes relevant later.

Third incident: The birthday forms.

When we first started working, our boss asked the both of us to complete an “About Me” form so the team would know our preferences whenever someone’s birthday came around.

She was responsible for organizing these forms.

Recently, I was looking through the files because her birthday was coming up, and I wanted to check her preferences. Out of curiosity, I looked for my own form. Turns out, after approximately 7 months, I couldn’t even find mine in the folder where it was supposed to be. Did I confront her? No. Did I accuse her of deliberately excluding me? No. I assumed it could’ve been an oversight and moved on. Because honestly, not everything has to be interpreted as a personal attack.

Now, the incident that finally pushed me over the edge.

Our boss has an important exam coming up, and the team planned a little surprise for her. I didn’t even know about the surprise until another coworker mentioned it during our meeting. It was a last-minute thing as far as I knew. The moment I found out, I sent an email to the virtual team members, including this coworker, informing them about the surprise.

She received the email. She even acknowledged it.

So imagine my surprise when she later messaged me saying she felt left out because I didn’t PERSONALLY TEXT her about the plan.

She then asked me something along the lines of, “Bakit feeling ko hindi mo ako gusto?”

I was genuinely confused. What? I literally emailed you, and 2 other virtual members. You acknowledged receiving the information. Why is the fact that I didn’t send a separate text message suddenly being interpreted as evidence that I dislike you?

She started explaining how she always updates me whenever our boss mentions something concerning me during their morning huddles, how she informs me about office matters, and how she makes sure I’m updated because otherwise, nobody would tell me.

And this is where I became really frustrated.

First of all, isn’t relaying relevant work information part of our professional responsibilities? She’s the only one who attends those huddles because she is our boss’s EA. If our boss has instructions concerning my work, naturally, those instructions need to reach me.

I’m grateful for colleagues who communicate properly, but why is performing an assigned responsibility being presented as a personal favor that I need to repay emotionally?

Second, remember the group chat? She was the one who decided I didn’t need to be included because we already communicated privately. So now she’s bringing up how she always keeps me informed because nobody else would?

I genuinely don’t understand the logic.

She also mentioned that because we’re both Filipinas, she initially expected us to become buddies.

But here’s my thing.

Being friendly and being friends are two completely different things.

Just because we share the same nationality and work for the same company doesn’t automatically mean we’re going to develop a close personal friendship. I respect her as a colleague. I communicate with her about work. I have nothing against her.

But I don’t think I’m obligated to provide constant personal reassurance or maintain a friendship that was never mutually established.

She also opened up about her personal struggles and how she’s afraid of losing her job because she has children depending on her.

And I understand that. I really do.

But here’s another thing that genuinely bothers me.

During our conversation, she also brought up the possibility of me telling our boss things about her or reporting her behind her back. And honestly, WHAT? Where is that even coming from? I’m literally just doing my job, minding my own business, and trying to get through my own responsibilities.

What frustrates me is that I feel like I’m constantly having to defend myself against assumptions about my intentions. First, she thinks I don’t like her because I didn’t personally text her. Then there’s this concern that I might be reporting her to our boss.

Why am I suddenly being treated like someone who has ulterior motives?

I understand that she may have had unpleasant experiences with previous coworkers. But I don’t think it’s fair to project those fears onto me when I haven’t done anything to warrant that suspicion.

We all have problems. I have my own responsibilities, family concerns, financial obligations, and personal struggles that I don’t necessarily discuss at work. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t need my job or the income. Of course I do. I’m grateful to be employed. But isn’t the point that we’re all here to work, earn a living, communicate professionally, and do our responsibilities?

Why does every communication issue have to become a question of whether someone likes you? I even apologized and reassured her that I had nothing against her.

Yet here I am, the following day, still thinking about the entire conversation.

And honestly, it’s affecting my mental health.

I don’t hate her. I don’t wish anything bad upon her. I want her to succeed at work, keep her job, and be happy. I just don’t want to be responsible for managing her feelings about every ordinary workplace interaction.

We’re adults. We’re professionals.

If there’s a work-related problem, let’s address it. If information wasn’t communicated, let’s fix the communication process. But I don’t think it’s fair to expect a coworker to constantly prove that they like you.

I can be respectful, cooperative, and considerate without being your close friend.

And I don’t think that makes me a bad person.

You’re not exactly sure what’s wrong. Nothing major happened, but you just feel so down. You want to sleep, but you can’t. You want to go out and get some fresh air, but at the same time, you just want to stay home and do nothing.

You want to distract yourself, but you don’t feel like doing anything. You want company, but you also want to be left alone.

It’s such a weird feeling because you can’t even explain why you feel this way. You just do.

I think I just needed to get this off my chest. Or is it just hormones messing with me? 😅

Does anyone else feel this way sometimes? 🍻

grabe, i just feel so weirded out (dunno if it's the right word haha basta).

someone i knew from our community just died, at hindi ko alam kung nag-s word ba siya or what, pero nag-post siya kagabi ng "[his name] is now signing off!!". it feels so tragic for me considering na nakilala ko lang siya nitong June para sa isang tugtog namin nung August, which gives a weird feeling to me kasi kakakilala ko pa lang sa kanya and i was actually looking forward na makasama pa siya sa mga tugtugan kasi he was a fun guy to be around. then now, wala na siya suddenly. i still feel in shock, man. wtf.

Hi, I(21F) grew up sa isang pamilyang hindi lang mahilig sa "tapal system" pero mahilig din na uutang ng sobra pa kailngan nila.

Both of my parents are ofw eversince, even before pa'ko pinanganak. Parehas bunso, parehas breadwinner—kung sinuswerte ka nga naman lol. Iniwan nila ako dito, sa lola at tita ko, sa ph when I was only 6 months old para magtrabaho sa ibang bansa. Tbh, in my earlier years, never akong "nakaramdam" ng hirap. Had my first tablet at 3, first phone at 7, first laptop at 10. Hindi ako mahilig sa laruan dahil bababad sa gadgets. Akala ko sobrang swerte ko kasi habang yung mga classmate ko e prinepressure ng mga magulang nila at hindi pinapayagan mag-gadgets, ako pwede lahat—basta ba hindi ko daw sila(lola at tita) istorbohin. Akala ko swerte—now ko lang na-realize na it was their way of shooing me away para hindi ko sila "isorbohin". Haha.

I grew up very distant to my parents, obvious naman kung bakit. I only talked to them 'pag bigayan na ng allowance—kasi yun lang din yung time na kakausapij nila ako, no "kumusta school?" nor "may kailngan ka pa ba except sa basic necessities?" (never kong naranasan yung dadalhin sa mall or pasyalan dahil lang gusto nila ako ipasyal, nakakaalis lang ako if isasabit ako sa gala ng other relatives namin). Idk if may ibang batang lumaking may ofw parents din na nakaka experience nito pero growing up i never really looked up to them as my "parents". Heck, sobrang naw-weirduhan ako dati—medyo parin ngayon—sa konsepto ng "family". Basta 'di ko ma-explain, pero growing up nab-blanko ako if tinatanong ako regarding family matters or relationships. Ang weird noh? HAHAHAH.

Anyways, problems started arising netong pandemic. Bago pa ipanganak mother ko, may kariderya + sari sari store na kami talaga sa harap ng bahay. E nung pandemic, yung tinatayuang lupa ng tindahan e hindi pala saamin at nalaman ko na lang nung giniba na yung tindahan. Sobrang bagsak kami nun, bukod sa walang kita, padagdag ng padagdag din yung pressure nila sa mga pinagkautangan. If i'm not mistaken umabot sa 6 digits yung utang. Each. Almost a million sakanilang dalawa.

Hindi ko alam pa'nong umabot sa gano'ng point pero shet tangina ksbsjabajab yung anxiety nila parang pinasa sa'kin nung time na 'to. Everytime na may motor or kotse na humihinto sa harap namin nanlalamig na katawan ko, nanginginig ako, and for some reason naiiyak. Dagdag mo pa yung pressure sa school dahil first time namin magr-research paper and leader pa'ko nun. Umabot sa point na in just 1 month bumagsak yung weight ko ng around 17-20 kg. Yes. Almost 20kg. Idk kung pa'no ko na-survive 'yun.

Umabot din sa nagkabaranggayan na. Everyday gigising ako sa sigawan sa labas, pero wala akong magagawa at stuck ako sa bahay. Honestly, alam kong may mas worse pa na ngyari pero dahil na din siguro sa stress e naapektuhan na yung memory ko. I swear sobrang blurry nung mga pangyayari pero until now damang dama ko pa rin sya mentally. Yung tipong sobrang nagagalit ako sakanila kasi alam ko namang may kaya kami dati e, yung tindahan ni lola umaabot ng 10k net per day (prime loc, nagc-catering din pero bilao lang), tapos dagdag mo pa na parehas manager parents ko dati sa ibang bansa.

Now back dun sa baranggayan, dahil nga dun e yung anak ng tita ko pati na rin silang magkakapatid e nagshare share na para lumiit to the point na kaya na nilang bayaran. For approximately 3 yrs siguro naging maayos at tahimik kami. Now 2026, here we are AGAIN! TANGINA!. gigising sa sigawan. Makikipagtaguan sa bumbay. Wala na akong mukhang maiharap sa mga nakapaligid namin kasi kung dati e kilala kami na may kaya at nilalapitan kami ng mga kamag-anak namin, ngayon kilalang kilala na kami as yung pamilya na lubog sa utang. Ngingitian ka na lang para hindi maging rude pero alam mong as soon as nakatalikod ka e pagchichismisan ka.

Tbh, 'pag nagp-post sila pinapa-untag ko or hindi ako sumasali sa group pic, iniisip ko din kasi yung future line of work ko na mahalaga ang integrity at syempre yung perception sa'yo ng tao (business prog, i heard anlala ng chismisan sa corpos).

Ayun, back to zero nanaman tangina kung kelan pa-graduate na'ko. Hindi pa man din ako nakakatikim ng unang sahod—ni wala pa ngang trabaho—pero sila na mismo nagb-budget ng "magiging sahod ko". Kagaguhan 'di ba? Lumaki akong walang awang puro kahihiyan ang binibigay nila sa'kin pero sila pa 'tong may ganang magdikta sa kahahantungan ng buhay ko. Pakengshet.

And if nagtataka kayo why hindi ko pa sila kinucut off? unfortunately, i need their connections (yes, oo, masama, pero in a job market na sobrang hirap ma-employ ay lunok pride na lang talaga) lalo sa parents ko na nasa ibang bansa, mas mapapadali buhay ko if nasa ibang bansa ako. Naawa din ako sa mga kapatid ko na if ever ay sila ang sasalo naman. Sapat na na naransan ko, kahit pa hindi kami close (6 yrs age gap sa sumunod, 7 sa bunso. both pinanganak sa ibang bansa habang nasa pinas ako, met them when i was already 11 na—p.s. had no idea na may bunso(7yrs age gap) na pala kami lol. Sobrang ewan talaga ng set-up.). I feel so stuck. Gusto kong umahon pero hindi ko alam pa'no. I know my capabilities, and unfortunately dahil nga hindi ako masyadong naalagaan at napangaralan nung bata, i'm learning EVERYTHING now lang na college na'ko.

Ayun, sobrang haba, pero sana sa mga mahilig mangutang ay alalahanin nyo din yung nasa paligid nyo—lalo na sa musmusang anak nyo, nakakarinig din ako ng mga stories na 'pag nandyan na daw naniningil ay yung mga bata pa ang pinapakausap dun sa maniningil. Kinilabutan ako. Ako nga na nakikita lang sila na apektuhan na mental health, pa'no pa kaya sila?

Alam ko naman na may ibang mga tao na wala talagang choice kundi umutan, pero sana naman dun lang sa wasto at kayang bayaran, hano? hindi biro ang malubog sa utang, pero mas hindi biro ang lumaki sa pamilyang puro utang atsaka iaasa sa mga susunod na henerasyon ang kaginhawaan.

Sa mga mangungutang at lalo na sa mga may anak d'yan: Ugaling magbayad ng utang. Umutang lang ng kayang bayaran at kundi man kayang bayaran ay KAYO ang kumausap sa pinagutangan nyo, hindi yung idadamay mo pa ang bata. Katulad ng palaging sinasabi sa internet na" Think before you click" ay dito naman "Think 1000000x before you utang". Waley AHAHAHAHAHA. Ayun lang, be wise, be nice.

p.s. may mga utang din parents ko pero dahil nga sa set-up namin ay hindi ko masyadong alam yung kwento nila, basta alam ko around 2022 ay nasa 150k pero now down to 23k. Tumulong din sila sa pagbayad—more on sa'kin related yung bayad, kasi yung tita ko is binulsa pala yung portion ng pang tuition ko dapat so nung pa-graduate na 'ko ay hindi ako pinayagan kasi may outstanding balance.

Anws, meron akong ipon, well, more on emergency fund as someone na sakitin. It's not a lot pero at least may mahuhugutan. Syempre 'di ko pinaalam sakanila na may pera ako. Tanga ko naman nun.

I just want to let this out kasi pagod na pagod na ako maghanap ng trabaho. 1 year and 5 months na akong unemployed (I graduated last year 2025) ang dami ko ng in-applyan, walk in man or online, pero wala. Gusto ko na sumuko, pagod na pagod na talaga ako and hindi ko alam if kakayanin ko pa ba 'to. Nakakahiya na rin sa mother and sister ko, sila bumubuhay saakin and nagbibigay ng pamasahe para maka apply, pero kundi puro bagsak, wala ng update. Napapaisip nalang ako, hanggang ganito nalang ba ako? Sobrang pagod na ako mabuhay dahil lagi nalang ganito. Napaka talunan ko naman. Sa dami ng inapplyan ko, wala man lang ni isa.

Tangina ng company na to, at first i was fucking grateful for it cuz its creative industry and tbh its fucking amazing to work in creative industry eh pero puro kaputanginahan nalang.

They offered me 2 jobs for 14k, i was young and think im too inexperienced so i didnt expect high.

And as the day goes by nadagdagan nanaman ng isang role work ko which is being an AE, tho AE lang ako kapag lumalabas or we have shoots. When we had a corpo shoot yung boss ko suddenly gave me a another role in prod design na wala naman ako kaalam alam, im handling all the finance and design na kailangan for that shoot. At first nakikita kong opportunity sya eh since maganda sya sa portfolio pero parang nagiging abusive naman na? then last month i think hinayaan sakin yung isang project which i handled talking to the client, yung mga bookings ng places, yung edit and materials for editing and props na need gamitin and bilhin. No one help me unless nakitaan ako ng awa. Im fucking 20 and handling 5 roles sa isang araw without any backbone or knowledge abt it. Binabawi ko nalang pangungupal nila minsan pinapatagal ko pag lalayout ko and para masama rest utak ko tlga.

Then last week they suddenly call me telling na they need someone to retouch yung mga doctor na iphophotoshoot 100+ NA DOCTOR INAYUSAN KO and inassist ko rin yung shooters and AE that time since kulang manpower. I got the salary fucking hell regular rate lang binigay sakin…. eh usually kapag nasa labas iba ang sahod and the fact na yung work na yon binigay lang sya biglaan sakin…. sugapa na sa pera kung sugapa pero putangina lang umuwi ako ng basang basa sa bagyo non tapos gabing gabi talagang mag dedemand ako ng higher salary.

tapos mga sexual subtle jokes ng mga co workers towards sakin, hindi ko nalang maiopen talaga sa kanila kasi what point? hindi rin naman mapapatalsik nakikita rin ng head wala lang sakanya….Game na game silang bastusin ako dahil bata at babae nakaka putanvina maging babae tangina.

My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year na. Early in the relationship, nalaman kong hindi pala maayos at malinis ang hiwalayan nila ng ex nila (and some other things). Pinalagpas ko at sinubukan naming ayusin ang relasyon. Pero walang linggo o buwan na lilipas na hindi ako umiiyak. Still, I stayed in the relationship kasi mahal ko pa rin siya.

Moving forward, nagkakaroon na kami ng issues sa isa't isa. Para sa kanya, I don't consider his feelings enough. Pero para sa akin, masyado siyang seloso at emotional. He's my first boyfriend and I'm in my late 20s. I've been that single and independent aries girlie my whole life at unti-unti akong naiirita sa mga gusto niyang baguhin ko sa sarili ko. I wouldn't go into details but some examples are:

1. Halos bawat galaw ko, dapat ma-update ko siya (nakaalis na, nakasakay na, pababa na, naglalakad na, etc.);

2. Halos pagbawalan na niya akong dumikit sa kahit sinong lalaki, kahit matagal ko na kaibigan, hindi straight, ganun ang friendship dynamics namin, etc.;

3. Gusto niyang hinahatid at sinusundo ako at all times, kahit sa sinasabi kong lakad ko, at mas prefer ko na ako lang ang pupunta at uuwi na mag-isa;

4. Ang bilis niya magtampo, kahit saglit lang akong hindi makakapag-reply, even on working hours, even when I'm with my friends;

5. If it's something na gusto naming pareho (music or food), dapat kaming dalawa lang ang pupunta concerts, pop ups, fests, kahit may other friends akong nag-aaya rin o pwedeng sumama sa amin;

6. Kulang na lang, halos lahat ng non-essential free time ko, nasa kanya na kahit ilang beses ko na rin sinabi na 'wag niya akong gawing mundo niya.

And the list goes on. Maraming beses na kaming nag-usap na para na akong nasasakal sa paraan ng pagmamahal niya sa akin. Babawasan daw niya, babaguhin daw niya. Pero paulit-ulit pa rin. I know I may be seen as insensitive o hindi dapat pumapasok sa relasyon to some, kung ganito ang mindset at personality ko. Ramdam ko lang din talaga na hindi kami nagma match sa isa't isa sa maraming bagay.

Ang kaso, may suicidal or self-sabotaging tendencies siya. Mag-isa lang siya sa apartment niya at ilang beses na rin siyang nag-post about exiting this world every time na may malalang pagtatalo kami. He doesn't have other friends, he's not close to his family nor co-workers. Ako lang ang literal na nakakausap at nakakasama niya sa araw-araw. I know this because I see his social media accounts, at wala siyang ibang ka-chat or anything. Nagbabasa lang siya ng manga sa phone o nagso-scroll ng shorts/reels/tiktok.

Sa tuwing maiisip ko na ayaw ko na, pagod na ako sa ganitong situation, maaalala ko na siya rin, napapagod pero hindi naman nakikipaghiwalay. Sobrang dalas naming "mag-explain" sa mga bagay-bagay na napagdidiskusyunan namin. Nakakapagod na para akong nagbabantay lagi sa gagawin at sasabihin ko, worrying na baka magtampo o sumama ang loob niya. And at some point, I'm pretty sure na ganun din ang pakiramdam niya sa akin.

We've had a breakup attempt twice now, pero hindi natutuloy sa hiwalayan dahil magme-message siya at magre-reply pa rin ako. I have a gut feeling na kaya ko makipaghiwalay, mami-miss ko pero kaya ko mag-move on. I was never a "boy-crazy" type of person, at siya lang ang lalaking pinansin ko sa lahat ng nagkagusto sa akin. I've been single my whole life before him kaya alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako 'yung tipo na made-depress o malulugmok kapag nawalan ng boyfriend.

My mom and I was on a video call last night with my tita at napansin niya (tita) na may healing pimple ako sa mukha. Biniro niya ako na in love daw ba ako (she doesn't now that I have a boyfriend). Napaisip ako, in love ba talaga ako o I'm simply just in a relationship. Hindi ko rin masagot ang sarili ko o baka hindi ko lang maamin sa sarili ko na hindi ko na ramdam na "in love" ako.

Maraming beses ko na naisip na gusto ko na makipaghiwalay pero mas naiiyak akong isipin na wala siyang makakasama kapag umalis ako sa buhay niya. Ang pangit man pakinggan na naaawa at nag-aalala ako para sa kanya pero ayun ang klase ng pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko ngayon sa relasyon namin.

Minsan iniisip ko na baka mali talaga 'yung pang-unawa ko, at masyado akong stuck sa "buhay single" na mindset. Sinubukan kong i-adjust lahat ng ginagawa ko para sa kanya pero unti-unti kong naiisip na hindi na ako 'to, napapagod ako, nakakasuya na lang.

Silently checking out pero hindi ko rin maiwan.

It’s only been a few weeks since I started my new job, and I already want to resign.

On paper, this job is definitely better than my previous one. The pay is higher, the benefits are better, and I know I should be grateful for the opportunity. But somehow, I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t belong here.

I never felt this way at my previous job. I don’t remember ever crying in a bathroom because I was so sad and didn’t want to go back to the office. Now, I find myself doing exactly that.

Another thing is that the actual work is so far from what I expected based on the job description. I went into this role expecting one thing, but the tasks I’m currently doing, and the ones I’ve been told I’ll be handling, are quite different from what I had in mind.

And honestly, the work itself isn’t even the only problem. From the very beginning, I was already hearing people talk behind other people’s backs. They would casually share their issues with other colleagues and make comments about them, and it immediately made me uncomfortable. It made me wonder what they might say about me when I’m not around.

This is something I’ve always hated, even at my previous job. During lunch breaks, I just want to eat in peace and enjoy my one hour of free time. I don’t want to spend that time discussing other people’s lives or listening to office gossip. I want to take a break from work, not spend it talking about more work-related drama.

But apparently, if I don’t join in, people might think I don’t know how to get along with others or that I’m someone who prefers to keep to herself.

But what am I supposed to do? During breaks, I genuinely just want to be alone. Sometimes, I just want to eat by myself, enjoy some peace and quiet, and temporarily disappear from everyone.

I know I’m still new, and maybe I need more time to adjust. I also know that no job is perfect, and I can’t expect to love every aspect of my work. But I can’t help comparing how I feel now to how I felt at my previous job. I never dreaded going to work this much before.

It’s frustrating because I know this is a good opportunity financially, and I don’t want to make a rash decision. But at the same time, I’m starting to wonder if the higher salary and better benefits are worth feeling this unhappy every day.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did things eventually get better, or was that feeling of not belonging a sign that the job just wasn’t right for you?

Gabe it stings talaga minsan kasi talagang oily skin ko. Tapos itong boss ko habang nag-uusap kaming mga babae, di pa pala nakamove on dun sa checklist ko dati before ako maregular.

Backstory: May 2 checklists kasi nung period na probi ako, 1 yung for work operations and 2 yung sa grooming. Yung sa grooming mga simple lang yon as in if nakamakeup ba ako or if nagsusuot ba ko id, nakauniform ba etc.

Sabi niya ako na raw maggrade sa self ko hahaha so ang ginawa dahil nagmamadali na kami non, pinerfect ko, as in 100% huhu di ko naman alam na seseryosohin niya pala. Nainis daw siya. Tapos kagabi napaalala ko na may checklist ulit ako kasi nag-iba ulit ako role sa work so may grading sheet ulit me pero wala na yung sa grooming (habang nagssmalltalk kami nung mga new hires kasama siya at yung bisor puro kami gurls) Sabi ba naman, biglang inungkat, di exactly to pero eto..

"Oh *name ko* ikaw yan na naman may grading sheet ka na naman. Ayusin mo baka madaliin mo na naman kami. Akalain mo itong babaeng to (nagsshare na siya sa iba) pinerfect yung grade niya, dun sa grooming, akala mo naman talagang malinis eh (inulit niya pa yan haha)

(Tapos nagreact yung isang new hire nga eh, grabe naman Ma'am ang sabi)

Kasi nagsting lang dahil struggle ko talaga oily skin, saka may pimples ako lalo na ngayon may dark spots pa then ang buhok ko pa di ko talaga alam if lalambot pa kaya nga nagpagupit na ko maikli. Pero kasi boss ko parang inis na inis sa mukha ko? Sa totoo lang haha grabe, iniisip ko yong sinabi niya until now. Tingin ko kasi talaga sa face ko is maasim na nga hahaha tapos ginanon pa huhu may right evenue naman sana sa gano'ng call out ng boss di ba, wag naman sana sa kami-kami pang mga babae. Mukha naman kasi silang mga ulikba, lamang lang sila ng kinis eme 😭😭

Known naman sa amin na maarte yung boss namin plus may pagka-mapanglait. Gusto niya mabango, maayos ganyan pero grabe talaga kasi inaayos ko naman sarili ko, saka if nakikita ko naman ibang kasama ko, hindi talaga sila gaanong nag-aayos but if maccompare mo talaga, medyo put up together silang tingnan kasi nga nabiyayaan ng magandang buhok plus walang acne. Ako kasi tingin ko talaga kahit di pa siya nagsasalita, mukha akong madungis, which is di ko makontrol medyo kasi nga talagang may acne pa rin eh 😭😭 ang mahal na ng binili kong mga gamot. Kaya nga magpapaderma ako noon ko pa pinaplano. Pero grabe talaga yung boss ko na yon to exert yung pagiging superior niya. Sabi talaga, akala mo naman kung sinong malinis, ang dating kasi sa akin, kahit anong effort ko ng pag-aayos, mukha pa rin akong ulikba haha

Yung visor ko nga naramdaman siguro na grabe naman yung boss ko, ang dagdag ba naman niya, oo kasi ma'am yung araw minsan wala siyang lipstick (dinaan na lang sa lipstick) pero I know sa self ko, yung overall appearance ko yung tinatarget ni boss

Kailangan ko lang Talaga itong ilabas. Before anything else, I’m also working towards achieving what I want in life since its my responsibility now. I owe myself that much.

Ever since bata ako, lagi akong nacocompare ng lola ko sa apo ng kapatid nya (2^nd cousins ko) kaya ko rin siguro ito nararamdaman. Mayaman kasi magulang din nun. Apat silang girls. Ako syempre na girl din, kaya nacoocmpare. Sa grades, sa kung san magaling, sa activities, etc. I came from a middle class fam. We rent, no car, but im thankful kasi never naman kami nagutom. Sa private rin naman kami pinagaral. Pero ayun nga, kanina nagising akong nag announce yung pinsan kong one year younger lang sakin na buntis sya and nag gender reveal na. Well may kaya naman sila kahit 23 palang sya. Nakakatravel sila sa US even yung lalaki may kaya yung pamilya. Hindi ko maiwasang mainggit. Maiinggit na they never have to worry about working, about money, about the future of their kids kasi mayaman naman lahat ng pamilya nila. Her older sister flys private planes with his bf. Ako, andito, nagtitiis sa toxic kong trabaho kasi ako yung panganay at ako ang back up plan. Nagkataon pang 2 years na ata akong survival mode since college grad haha. Hindi ko maiwasang mainggit kasi parang they have the freedom to do whatever they want. Ngayon, sigurado akong macocompare nanaman kami. NBSB ako at 24, sila lahat may bf, magkaka anak na rin yung isa. Its funny how kapag nabbring up rin na kung bat wala pa kong jowa ang sinasabi ko nalang ay ayaw ko rin naman magkaanak pero deep inside, pangrarap ko yun. I want to build my own family, be loved & have my own kids. Funny how sa mundo na maraming ayaw na mag kaanak, pangarap ko yun & ofc gusto ko lang rin kapag sigurado akong kaya ko silang bigyan ng Magandang buhay. Wouldn’t want to have kids ng hindi ko naman kaya at dahil lang gusto ko. Ang sakit lang nun haha na nagpapanggap akong ayoko or wala akong paki para wala lang masabi pero pangarap ko rin naman yun. Kasi sa totoo lang gusto ko rin naman maexperience magdate at magmahal or masaktan & learn from those.

Alam ko naman na hindi ko dapat kinocompare kasi magkaiba kami ng upbringing and magkaiba kami ng opportunities na nilatag nung pinanganak kami. Iba ang social status ng mga magulang naming at alam ko rin na dahil adult na ako, ako na ang responsible pagandahin buhay ko. Sadyang may mga araw lang Talaga na d ko mapigilan yung mga ganyang pakiramdam kaya gusto ko lang mailabas. Pls also note na I never showed any bad attitude towards them sa mga nararamdaman ko. Never ko naman prinoject kahit kanino. Tinatago ko lang rin sakin kasi nahihiya akong ganun nararamdaman ko.

Its been 5 years since my papa passed away from corona seriously i can't express my pain. Its been 5 years still i cry sometimes at night can't express my feelings to anyone because i have to be strong for my mother and my brother. I feel like if i cry on someone shoulder i will make myself weak. But i genuinely want a shoulder to cry upon. Too hard for me i have to handle all things by myself. I am indian