r/LGBTWeddings • • 8h ago

Advice Navigating Gendered Language for Non-Binary Partner (Me)

17 Upvotes

Hello!! My partner and I have been together for almost 6 years and have started discussing marriage plans. While we are waiting for now (financial reasons), I have still been stressing about the inherent gendered language at weddings. He is a cis bisexual guy and I am an AFAB non-binary person who uses they/he pronouns. I am not out to most of my family, but I'm not exactly in the closet either. I am totally fine using they/them pronouns and non-gendered language in front of my family but wouldn't be comfortable being called 'husband', 'groom', or being referred to with he/him pronouns in front of them. I will also look like a mostly traditional bride as I like to look pretty and feminine for big events!

I don't care if family gossips about us using non-gendered terms, but I'm unsure how to get around language like "I now pronounce you husband and wife" and the "Mr. Mrs." stuff. What are some alternatives that will work legally? We will likely be married by a friend or family member in Massachusetts and we are both NYC residents.


r/LGBTWeddings • • 7h ago

Title: Warning to NH/New England couples: Our experience with Greenhouse on the River in New Boston, NH

10 Upvotes

My wife and I got married at Greenhouse on the River on October 11th, and I genuinely wish someone had warned us about the management and day-of coordination before we booked.

First, I want to say the venue itself is absolutely gorgeous. We fell in love with it, spent months making nearly all of our wedding decor ourselves, and put an unbelievable amount of time into planning every little detail. Our wedding was still beautiful because of our friends, family, and other vendors, but the experience with Molly and her coordination team was honestly awful.

We paid for setup, breakdown, and day-of coordination. Months AFTER booking, we were told that the setup included in our package would actually take place during our contracted rental hours. We had already planned our 2pm ceremony and sent invitations, so we were told we'd need to pay another $750 ($375/hour for two additional hours) to have everything ready in time.

We questioned why we were paying for setup AND losing rental time to accommodate it. Molly sent multiple lengthy emails defending the charge, explaining how much staffing was required and how much work went into preparing our wedding. We eventually paid it.

And then the actual setup was nowhere near what we'd been promised.

We spent months creating a detailed coordination binder with photos, diagrams, quantities, and instructions for practically everything. We emailed it ahead of time AND delivered a physical copy. The finalization questionnaire we received after our coordination meeting was almost completely blank and literally had our WEDDING DATE WRONG.

Despite having everything written out, they left an entire box of prepared bud vases untouched. We specifically requested ten per table, and approximately four were placed. We'd purchased two additional buckets of flowers from their required florist and had family and friends staying up late preparing arrangements, only for so much of that work and money to go to waste.

The stars weren't hung in the greenhouse, the sweetheart table letters were arranged incorrectly, half our itinerary cards weren't placed, ceremony decorations were incorrectly positioned, candles weren't set up and turned on, and extra lamps weren't even taken out of their boxes.

And after all of Molly's emails about the additional staff needed for setup, when we stopped by during setup, the only people we saw working were Molly and Tammi. I don't know who may have worked at other times, but that certainly raised questions for us.

Honestly, though, the decor is not even what I'm most upset about.

The actual day-of coordination was HORRIBLE.

After cueing us to walk down the aisle, Molly and Tammi seemed to stop coordinating the reception. Our DJ wasn't told dinner was ready so he could call tables, wasn't cued to open the dance floor, and nobody made sure the lights were turned off for dancing. Our PHOTOGRAPHER had to step in.

Nobody told us when it was time to cut the cake. Again, our photographer handled it.

Our cannolis weren't brought out when they should have been because nobody coordinated their preparation and service.

At one point, I actually had to find Tammi and ask why WE, THE BRIDES, kept having to track down the coordinators to get things done.

My mom and maid of honor repeatedly couldn't find either of them throughout the reception. Other people noticed, too. Our photographer and other vendors ended up taking on responsibilities that should have been handled by our coordinators.

I genuinely cannot explain how frustrating it is to spend months planning your wedding, pay professionals to manage the day, and then find yourself doing their jobs during your own reception.

The problems didn't stop there. Our decorations were packed haphazardly with literal trash mixed in, our two approximately $80 bathroom baskets weren't returned, and we had to contact Molly afterward to ask about them.

We'd also been told that because of the heavy rain, their team would load our packed decorations into our rental truck overnight so we could return it by 9am. The NEXT MORNING, they emailed to say everything was still inside the greenhouse and we'd need to load it ourselves. We also received conflicting instructions about where the truck keys were.

And I really need to mention Molly's demeanor, because that was a problem from the beginning. Both people we brought to our coordination meeting independently commented afterward about how unpleasant and unwelcoming she was. She didn't introduce herself or even smile. Throughout planning, we found her communication defensive and dismissive.

You don't have to be bubbly or overly friendly to coordinate weddings, but I don't think expecting basic kindness, professionalism, and actually being available during the event is unreasonable.

What really pushed me over the edge was what happened after the wedding.

I emailed Molly a detailed complaint explaining everything that went wrong. Then I saw the venue post on Instagram about how much attention to detail they put into setting up weddings. I commented that I couldn't disagree more after our experience that weekend.

Shortly afterward, BOTH my wife and I discovered we'd been blocked on Instagram. As of October 15th, we still haven't received a response to the complaint.

We're genuinely considering small claims court over the additional charges and the coordination services we paid for but don't believe were adequately performed. We have photos, emails, and our coordination binder documenting the issues, and I'm including some of the photos here.

I'm sharing this because I would have wanted to know before booking. The greenhouse is beautiful, but that doesn't make up for the stress of having to manage your own wedding when you've paid someone else to do it.

If you're planning a wedding in New Hampshire or New England, please get EVERYTHING about setup hours, staffing, rental time, and coordination responsibilities clarified in writing.

We only get one wedding day. I'm grateful ours was still full of love and wonderful people, but I'm incredibly disappointed that we spent parts of it doing jobs we'd already paid professionals to handle.


r/LGBTWeddings • • 21h ago

A little reddit love ❤️

10 Upvotes

My wife (38F) and I (36F) have been married for three wonderful years, and for our third wedding anniversary, I’ve made her this handmade, leather-bound book filled with Reddit posts I think she’ll love reading and some favourite ones. The ones we constantly talk about, laugh over, and bring up in conversation days after we’ve read them.

I’m asking if anyone in this community could leave a short message wishing my wife a happy 3rd anniversary as an epigraph . I’m hoping to print your comments and include them on that page, so one day, she’ll reopen this book, revisit all these posts, and re-read all the anniversary wishes.

Thank you in advance for helping add this personal touch.

And to my incredible wife: Happy 3rd anniversary, baby. I’d choose you — and all our wonderfully unhinged conversations — every single time.
🦋🔥🐝🌸


r/LGBTWeddings • • 8h ago

Fashion Wedding Jumpsuits or Caped Dresses

4 Upvotes

Does anyone know of any good places to shop for a wedding jumpsuit? Or places that sell unique or funky wedding dresses or sets?

I want to wear something unique, fun and stylish for my wedding next fall. I’ve seen cool cape accessories and have planed to try on some more traditional dresses with capes. I wouldn’t mind online shops and I travel frequently across Canada for work, so if you know of cool shops here lmk.