This might be a little messed up, but does anyone else feel this weird grief when their friends (or people on social media) complain about men in their dms, men hitting on them at parties, men constantly asking them out or ‘bothering’ them when they’re for example running errands?

I feel like my friends have new guys trying to hit them up every week and they’re always telling me about new crazy or interesting stories while I’m nodding along with no similar experiences of my own.

It just makes me feel like a freak, like it’s a law of nature, a coming-of-age experience every woman goes through except for me. After all, bothersome or ‘annoying’ experiences are also part of life. Bonding over them together with your girlfriends is supposed to be a common experience.

Of course, I’m not talking about real harassment as that is very much different.

1. KV.

I’m at the age where a lot of my friends (well, “friends”, do they even count if you don’t see each other out of work?) are starting get married and have kids.

And I haven’t even gone on a date once the three decades I’ve been alive.

Kids are probably a no for me, but I would’ve liked to at least get married, but how am I going to do that if I get no interest?

No men are interested in me besides creepy old men that go for anyone, and probably only because I’m stuck looking like a teenager despite my age. I don’t attract women at all.

I grow facial hair and a unibrow. I have bad teeth due to too much fluoride as a child and depressive spells causing bad hygiene. Despite trying to put great effort into making my face look acceptable, barring makeup due to sensory issues, I am still ugly.

I also struggle with my mental health, due to intense bullying due to my looks, and having a severely abusive family. I’ve been homeless twice. The world is not kind to weird ugly black girls.

I’m a black woman in an area where that is undesirable (but is it really anywhere unless you’re lightskinned?) and my facial proportions are all wrong. My face is unattractively round. I have a severe RBF, and I am built like an orc.

As a depressed teenager, I thought maybe when I was at the age I am now, I would’ve finally found someone that sees me and understands me. That I would find my person and that all the suffering would be worth it. I lay here at 30, thinking about how stupid I was. But I still persist, because if I don’t they win, but really how much longer am I going to have to be alone?

I’m seriously getting jealous of my friends, random people I encounter at work, and people on the internet for having what I don’t. A happy family that loves them. A partner that loves them. It’s even worse when I see a fellow weird girl in a happy relationship. Then it becomes “What’s wrong with me that makes it so I can’t have that?”

I literally feel nothing but sadness and rage now. I’m happy for these people, but I am sad and angry for myself. I am trying to improve myself more to where I can support myself, be “fully self sufficient” to where I don’t need anyone’s help but, but it just hurts…

Everywhere I go, even if its just for a simple walk outside my house, I would catch atleast one person side eyeing me or giving me this disgusted look as if they are offended by my existence. Im 100 percent sure its because of my hideous ogre and it has always been, I don't talk about this with anyone as they would just say its "all inside my head" when I could've sworn its not. Like cant I just not be reminded of my ugliness just for fuckin once, God couldn't even bother giving me a normal looking face. Everytime I catch one person staring at me from now on, I just get irritated or pissed off at this point like cant I just not be reminded of my fuggliness just for fuckin once.

Months ago I longed for my sex drive to end. I hated the nagging desire that remained inside me. Now I believe I’ve reached true acceptance. I wasn’t meant to have sex, which does still feel a bit strange to admit, since it seems like that’s all our true purpose is on this earth and it’s what people have been doing for thousands of years, it’s just not in my cards. I can’t/don’t imagine myself having sex, I feel detached from the fantasy. I don’t feel arousal or excitement from the thought. I still masturbate every now and then, but when I do it’s more just for dopamine, not because I’m horny. It does make me sad to think about my life. I wish I could’ve been a normal girl that had normal experiences, but we can’t all be so lucky. I’m just glad I don’t ache as often as I used to

Just wondering bc there are so many posts on this sub about 'has a man ever' and as a bisexual I am increasingly like 'some of us are bi!!'. (Tbf I see those posts going through the archives, idk if they're posted frequently now.)

It really messed me up being raised to believe I had one job and being unable to do it

I've tried everything: irl, online, I tried to date incels but even they rejected me, no matter what they say looks is all they care about. Being ugly as a woman dooms you to a life of loneliness and its really hard for me to accept that. Anyone else in a similar situation? I know most here are younger.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

My nose is so big! Even after contouring it still looks huge!

I also noticed that my eyes are misaligned! My left eye kinda sits above the right eye and is slightly slanted.

I have hollowness and dark circles under my eyes.

I also noticed that I look cross-eyed when looking upfront at the camera!

It's not that my ID and passport photos turned out bad, I genuinely look like this! 😔

By the time I have enough money to do cosmetic plastic surgeries and get done with recovering from those procedures I will probably be in my 40s!

There goes any romantic prospects...

Life is so unfair... 😔

Improvement/venting post:

I hope that this post doesn't come off as tone death. I have good news to share with everyone; I don't get bullied anymore and I'm in therapy. Therapy is genuinely working for me (even though I'm not where I want to be at mentally at this moment, but I'm working on it) and I haven't gotten bullied for almost a year now. However, I realize that I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to my social skills, confidence, and my lived experiences. I am a 24 year old who feels like a big portion of her teen years were spent getting outcast, harassed, forgotten, and spoken down to. I spent a big portion of my life being treated like I'm less than. Now that I get treated like I'm a human being, I don't even know where to start when it comes to building myself up.

With my self-esteem, I am now mentally in a better place than I was 5 years ago. I don't talk down to myself as much because I feel like there's no need to. Anytime I'm feeling down, I listen to gospel music. It's not as difficult to dress myself up as it used to be. However, I realized that I still struggle with thinking that my looks means everything (if I'm not pretty, then I am worthless) and with feeling ugly (I still get confirmed that I'm unattractive). I feel like I can't relax because I am on high alert (I felt like I could relax around people because they were always treating me badly). I struggle with dressing up because somehow in my mind that means I think I'm too big for my britches or that I think I'm pretty when I'm not. I don't know what type of hairstyle or makeup style fits me or would improve my looks. Nobody else had to feel this way growing up except for me. Everyone was allowed to be themselves and not think about their looks 24/7, meanwhile I was too busy trying to make myself invisible to toxic ass people.

My social skills are terrible too. I still struggle with putting people off and not knowing the reason why. I was just texting somebody for weeks just for them to take longer to text me back and not speak to me in public. At least my professor, who happens to be autistic themselves, understands me and kind of took me under their wing. I don't even know where to start when it comes to dating or sex. I've never had sex before and I honestly never felt sexy. I feel like it's too late because I'm already older and I should know better! However, I don't because my freedom of choice was stripped away from me at a young age just because of my unattractiveness and my autistic traits. Some men (usually older men) want me, the guys my age can't be bothered with me at all. One guy sighed so hard today because he thought that I was trying to hit on him (I wasn't). Plus, rejection hurts me more because I struggle with rumination (even though I'm working on trying to keep myself in a positive mood).

It's like my freedom was stripped away from me at a young age because of things I had no control over. Now, I have to start from scratch and learn things that people learned at 21. It's so unfair to see people come online and deny that unattractive people have their fair share of hardships when my experiences are right here to show otherwise. I sometimes feel more like a child than a woman (I'm not infantilizing myself to look quirky. I'm just trying to explain how I feel as someone who is socially inept). Is anyone else in the same situation and does anybody else feel this way?

In real life, I have a total of zero friends. I really miss having female friendships. The last time I had female friends was when I was 12 or 13.

I don't think I've ever met a genuinely ugly person in my life. Everyone has SOMETHING about them that's pretty/beautiful. I can't seem to apply this to myself. I'm 21 and look like I have wrinkles, I have acne, my eyes are dark and beady, my hair is always frizzy and just witchy looking, etc etc etc. I can find genuine beauty in everyone else but myself. I'm bisexual and have never been in a true relationship before and have never had anyone EVER show interest in me. When I would ask people out I'd get rejected always. I just don't find myself beautiful at all. Other people are to me though. I crave attention and validation from someone. I just want to feel pretty. I want to feel desirable.

(Kind of a TMI post, just a heads up)

I’ve had difficulty with penetration for a while now. Last year I attempted my first Pap smear and it took three attempts, it was so painful and uncomfortable. Thankfully it came back normal so I should be good for three years. I dread getting another one.

I think I might possibly have pelvic floor dysfunction/vaginismus or a vulva pain disorder, because whenever I attempt penetration with more than one finger on my own it burns/is painful. I get really anxious and have to stop. Thankfully today I was able to schedule with a gynecologist in December to hopefully get to the bottom of what’s going on and begin treatment.

But this makes me feel even more like a failure. I’m scared that the OBGYN will diagnose an issue that will take months or more to treat. Like vaginismus or something. I’ve read that vaginismus can take a while to treat, with having to do pelvic floor therapy and using dilators, etc.

I’m terrified that if by some miracle I find a guy to be in a relationship with or to lose my virginity to, I won’t be able to do PIV and it’ll disappoint him and he’ll leave. I already feel like I’m missing out on “womanhood” by never being pursued or being in a relationship or anything. The fact that my vagina doesn’t work right is like an insult to injury. I think to myself, “Oh, if you think you’re a turn off to guys now, imagine when you tell them this.”

I’m just rambling at this point I think, sorry. But can any other women here relate?

I remember a few years ago when an extremely attractive woman asked me how old I was, in front of this other guy, and I should not have caved when she asked me. I should have told her that I don't like to give out my age when asked. The attractive woman had nothing to do with that other man, but I still didn't like it. They say it's not appropriate to ask a woman her age, and I'm one of those people who agrees with that statement. I feel like the disclosure of my age could be used against me, and I'm not up for that.

These girls receive gifts. The gifts include designer products, luxury services and even fancy restaurant outgoings.

Men are always begging in their DMs at minimum or sending flowers, begging at their door.

I am a sociable person and can befriend all types of people and it’s a huge strength of mine.
I am also very funny hence most girls LOVE to hang out with me.
Maybe as their duff 🤷🏽‍♀️
maybe as their clown 🤷🏽‍♀️
maybe it’s genuine ! 🤷🏽‍♀️

All ik is that this is 100% true.😐

We don’t receive validation and care and yet we’re expected to love ourselves. It’s a hard task.
I’m crying out of anger and frustration; why am I not worthy of beauty and attention?

Sorry about tipfelers in title.

Do you also do this?

For example, I like to think I have pretty eyes. So I go outside in a mall for example and then I just see the truth. I see how what I think is somewhat exceptional about me, is just average, very common and usual. I see hundreds of girls with same or better eyes just walking around casually not making a fuss about their eyes.

It is so sobering and grounding but in negative sense.

The realization of just how replacable and invisible I truly am.

I daydreamed so much about falling love that I am getting depressed. Oh damn here we go….

I now have this intense pit in my chest filled with loneliness. Guys I can’t keep doing this anymore.
I am trying my best to stay away from drugs and hookups but it’s not helping. My loneliness follows me and manifest into everything around me. I need to escape.

One of my jobs involves working in a small setting and this lady who runs it always calls the other woman 'beautiful ' as in 'Thank you, beautiful ' but she never does me. Not only am I forever alone but there's not a day goes by that I don't see how lacking I am. Ugly and forever alone. It's unbearably hard to be me.

I'm so exhausted of being ugly and my self esteem ↘️↘️ I wish I wasn't ugly and average looking at least. So I don't need to lurking in this sub and I can't enjoy feminine things anymore I reached a level of thinking I should be a trans man maybe that wil makes me less care about being ugly

Reposting here.

People love to repeat the assumption that "women hate beautiful women and therefore mistreat them." While I can’t speak for every single case, I want to share my own observations on the matter.

I see women worship female beauty—and, as a consequence, beautiful-faced women—in the exact same way men do. It is a universal obsession. I simply don't see the myth of women hating pretty women playing out in real life. There might be occasional jealousy toward an exceptionally beautiful woman, but that jealousy alone doesn't translate into hatred, and it almost never leads to active hostility.

As for the broader idea that women are generally more negative toward one another: if there is truth to that, I don't believe it is driven by looks. Instead, it stems from status and achievement—resentment over another woman being more successful or accomplished. Most women in the world fall within a normal range of appearance and receive regular attention and compliments, so their core competitiveness naturally lies in other areas.

Ultimately, I find the "women hate pretty women" trope to be a myth. If that would be the case we wouldn't see girls and women fawning over pictures of pretty girls online (even more than men do) all the time, and beautiful women would not be surrounded by groups of female-admirers from childhood onwards. If anything, many women hate women who are *not* good-looking for that reason alone—something I can personally attest to. The biological drive to adore beauty exists equally in men and women, and that admiration consistently leads to social privileges. When negative dynamics do occur between women, beauty is rarely the cause in my opinion.

#

Why it so difficult make friends especially new one I use have was work lot of places never made friends there and coworkers didn’t like me for one bit and managers was treating me differently and even I talk to some people they would eye side me and giving me attitude and I’m in community college and it hard and people rude and giving me silent treatment and I just want friends have social life instead of relationships.

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

It is insane. I am so obsessed with women's bodies to the point I sometimes think I am a lesbian but I'm not😭.

It's just that to me it feels like I've never actually saw boobs in my life because I have none so they seem like something out of this world for me.

I frequently imagine myself with their boobs, how weirldy feminine would that feel and how sexy would it be. But it is beyond sexy...I just can't imagine how would it be to actually be a real woman with boobs😭