I'm 21M, and I've been dating my girlfriend, 20F, for about five months. Around two months ago, she told me that her aunt sexually abused her when she was a child and that it left her with a lot of trauma. She's very religious, so after telling me everything, she said, "But I've forgiven her." I stayed quiet throughout her story and only spoke when she asked for my opinion. Otherwise, I just listened.

We were both in a vulnerable place, so I opened up to her about something that happened to me when I was 10. An uncle I was really close to lured me to his house under false pretenses and tried to rape me. I say "tried" because I think my mind blocked out parts of the memory. It was a really traumatic experience.

While I was telling her what happened, she kept smiling and laughing at the end of my sentences. When I got to the part where I told her, "I'm not sure if he actually did it or not," she started asking me, "Are you sure, or do you just not want to tell me? What did he do to you?" All while smiling.

In the end, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed she might have just reacted that way because she didn't know how to handle the situation, especially since it was the first time I'd told her about it.

Yesterday, we went on a trip with her mom. While my girlfriend and I were alone talking at the hotel, the subject came up again. She mostly wanted to talk about her faith, her ability to forgive, and how God had changed her. Then, out of nowhere, she brought up my experience and asked, "At least your uncle didn't succeed, right? Or did he?"

I told her the story again, and once again, she wouldn't stop laughing. I called her out on it, and she said, "I just don't know how to react."

Then I told her that my uncle lived out in the middle of nowhere, and I was scared he might do something to me out there. She replied, "Brokeback Mountain."

I called her out on that joke, too, and she said, "Sorry," before giving me a half-assed hug. I tried to let it go, but today she brought up the whole mountain thing again, and I couldn't hide how disgusted I was.

I told her that the only person I'd ever told about what happened to me was my mom, and that it took me years to open up to her because I was afraid people would laugh at me. I told her I couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love me could react that way, and that I no longer felt comfortable sharing the things that made me feel vulnerable with her.

She got upset and started making me feel like I was in the wrong for being angry. She said we couldn't change what had already been said, and that since I'd decided not to tell her anything anymore, there would be no communication between us. And without communication, we wouldn't have a relationship.

She raised her voice enough for her mom to hear us, and her mom ended up getting involved. We told her nothing was wrong, but the rest of the drive home was extremely uncomfortable.

So, AITAH for not telling her right then and there how uncomfortable her laughter and joke made me feel? And why did I feel completely justified in being angry at first, but now I feel like I'm the bad guy?

I work in manufacturing in a place called ANCORP in williston fl. in a washing sect of the finishing department . washing metal parts that my department has polished and sand blasted or any thing sent from welders and cnc workers. We use carts for big items or items that can't fit in a bucket or for multiple buckets and I am taught to also have an empty cart or more for items that i have washed or clean. People from other departments many times have had to take my carts and leave me with no cart. So I got fed up and have gotten to the point where i'm placing sticky notes on at least 1 or 2 empty carts that I have available in my station and the sticky note I write "this cart has been reserved for _my first name and last initial _" in permanent marker or in another write "attention !!!" In red permanent marker and declare in black permanent marker "this cart has been reserved" with a cartoon of a rattlesnake in my acknowledgement to the tone of the attention warning that I wrote. My response to people in the factory often leaving me with no cart. And in the factory it seems as if its necessary to be a go getter with grabbing available carts for our work stations.

This just happened and it's bugging me if I was really out of line. I just took my cat to the vet for a light cough.. she had an issue a few weeks ago and so I worried immediately. And just fyi, this is not in the US, so please don't judge by US standards.

So I took my cat to the vet I've been going to for many, many years and when I saw him reach for the medication he was going to apply I asked if we could use a different one since the last time that medication did nothing for my cat. That time I had to take her to an emergency vet (which cost 10 times more what I usually pay the regular one) and they prescribed something else that worked immediately. So I mentioned all this as the reason to use a different medication this time.

He said that was the only one he had and I insisted it hadn't helped the last time. I was friendly throughout this, as we've known each other for many years. And then there was a looong silence and he finally said "well, use the other medication then". I said ok and asked something else to which he replied "I guess, but since you seem to know it all".

So, I feel he got really pissed but I don't think I was in the wrong. AITAH?

My (42F) boyfriend (44M) has cheated on me repeatedly in the past, lied about it, and denied it even when caught with solid proof. We broke up for a while, and then decided to give it another try. Things have been going OK until I realized he is still having secret relationships with multiple women. I don't know the nature of these relationships -- just that there are several women he talks to very regularly on the phone. Sometimes daily, at length. He also talks with them on social platforms that he refuses to add me to as well.

I discovered this was going on when I saw he has planned a trip in secret with 2 of the women. I confronted him about it, and he refuses to tell me who they are, what they talk about, or what the nature of their relationships are. He blew up, started screaming, and ultimatly took off. He said, "I don't tell you about the other women because you always have snide comments and backhanded remarks to make, because you're jealous. And I don't want to deal with it." He insists they are just casual friendships and/or work related. He also has all of his devices locked up (multiple phones, laptops, tablets etc.) so I have no access or visibility into any of his communications with anyone else. He says I am being controlling and invading his space and privacy when I ask about these other women and their interactions. And that I am being unreasonable for expecting transparency.

I told him this is completely unacceptable behavior, especially given his cheating past, and he has to stop "gaslighting" me about it. AITAH for wanting to know who my boyfriend is talking to and why?

QUICK UPDATE: I packed up that night (last Sat.) and left his place at 3am, after we argued about this. Also, for some context, I was unexpectedly widowed when my child was 3. My boyfriend was an old friend of my husband's whom I had never met until after he passed. My boyfriend raised my daughter as his own, with me, since she was age 4-9. And then he started up with this cheating crap. We broke up over it for a couple of years. But then started talking again and I was hoping the 2nd try would be better, with some personal growth. Wishful thinking! But ultimately, I would like people to just confirm that I am not CRAZY for speaking up against this behavior and leaving. Because he gaslights HARD and keeps trying to spin it like I am insane and weird and generally in the wrong for not being OK with it.

Context:
My sister whom presumes to live a lavish life had a destination pre-wedding party for family and friends alike. In the invite they specified that they would cover all expenses for the invitees.

When I arrived, I was approached by the Groom stating he knew that I liked Whiskey and that it wasn't originally covered on their open bar tab, but to, and I quote: "ask for anything you want bro, I got you. Hell, get a bottle for yourself and your friends if you like"
I denied the bottle offering and chose to only ask for a couple drinks (2 doubles).

My mistake that I fully own is that I did not ask for the pricing of the drink menu items offered (I was shown a menu with no prices, that kind of place).

Several days later, my sister asks me to pay the tab for the drinks I had as it came out that each drink cost $150 a pop.

I have since paid my share (3/4s of my tab) but now wonder if I was in the wrong here.

MY (30F) MIL(52F) LOVES to give me gifts. I personally dont like receiving gifts from her, because she gets me gifts ALL the time. And its usually stuff (clothes) I don’t like. I just accept the gift, smile and say thank you.

Little backstory about myself:
I grew up with very little money and always think very hard before buying myself clothes etc. I don’t like to waste money and tent to feel very guilty of I don’t wear ALL of my clothes.
I also HATE having a lot of stuff in my house, since it overstimulates me a lot (i grew up with a mother that loved to hoard). I am very picky with what I get for myself.

So when she buys me outfits its very rare that I like what she Gets me. She also loves buying expensive stuff. so naturally I feel guilty for not wearing the gifts she gets me ( or I wear them and will feel ugly in them).

My husband also doesnt like when she gets him clothes, he didnt ask and why waste money when your closet is already so full. He usually doesnt even touch it, they stay in the exact same spot for weeks (un-opened)

Thats also a thing, bcuz of her gifts we barely have any storage left in our house. It just gets to a point where it excessive.

She also loves buying stuff for our house, but I don’t like her design choises.

Small issue i know but imo this is stealing and we are teaching the kiddos so i think it's an important line.

We are in the grocery store my kid wants to eat 1 grape before checkout i say no that's stealing because it isn't weighed yet. which if it was strawberries or blueberries would be fine with me (because they are preweighed) my husband is ok with her eating a couple grapes while shopping to keep everybody happy.

Am i being uptight (or the AH) by saying it's stealing?

Hi all - I need your opinion. Sorry, its a long one, and it might be a bit wordy because I'm frustrated and felt like I needed to give context for it to make sense.

I recently hit a financial bump.

My car needed big time repairs, around the same time as, due to a different breakdown, I lost a day of pay and had a short check. I had to use up most of my savings to fix my car, and spent the whole weekend doordashing to try and make up for my lost income, so that I wouldn't be short on bills. At the end of the day on Sunday, I was under the impression I had JUST enough to get me to my next paycheck.

Today, I got a banking notice that my account was overdrawn by around $60, with an added $20 for the inconvenience to my bank, leaving me at -$88. Today was the day that my health insurance was supposed to hit, but again, I should have had enough, right?

When I went in to investigate, I found out that, unbeknownst to me, my card payment (and before someone comes at me for having a card/using credit, -its happened before- I have 1, singular credit card, for the purpose of building credit) had hit 6 days after it should have. Mind you, when I did my calculations, I thought this bill was already paid. It should have been already gone from my account on Friday, or at least shown as pending, so that I would have figured that in as already gone on Sunday.

I transferred money I really didnt have to cover the balance, and was grumbling about it when my stepmother, K, walked past and asked what had happened. When I explained, instead of letting me vent and moving on, she started asking me "Well, why didnt you plan for that?", and kept going after the topic like a dog with a bone.

"Don't you know how a checking account works?" (a direct quote) Followed by: Didnt I know it was coming out? Why didnt I plan for it? Where did the money go? Why was I having this problem again? (The last time, something of hers got accidentally charged to my account, but sure, I was just irresponsible with money) Didnt I check my account? Didnt I check my account?

Over and over and over.

I admit, I got even more frustrated, and snapped at her, because she kept acting like I was being stupid for not knowing that the money was coming out almost a week late, no matter how many times I explained - I had checked. I've had a checking account for almost 10 years and knew how they worked. As far as I knew, the money was already gone when I made my calculations. And I had more bills to pay that were supposed to hit between then and now, all of which I had planned for.

But no, I was treated like I was dumb for not going through and scrolling through all of my transaction history to make sure that a single bill had hit on time, before my planned bill pushed me into the red. And of course, she had "NEVER had a bill hit late unexpectedly", so of course I must just not have planned well enough.

When i snapped at her, she started acting as if i was being SUPER agressive for no reason, and that i had no reason to be upset. I won't go into a lot of details about that, because I wont reveal personal details about her here, but I did call her "Little Miss Perfect", and accused her of having a superiority complex (she's pulled this "Well, I'VE never had that problem, so I'm better than you" behavior before).

Finally, she just went "You can go away now," like I was the one prolonging things, and left.

So, aitah for getting pissed, when she kept treating me like I had been an idiot? I feel planned things as best I could, but I dont think that a financial institution's messed up billing system not working should be on me, and the way she was talking at me felt extremely insulting.

TLDR: I had bills hit late, and when I vented about it, ended up in a circular conversation where I was spoken to like I was an idiot for not knowing it would happen.

For context, my husband is a combat veteran with PTSD; he has nightmares semi-frequently and doesn’t do very well emotionally when he doesn’t feel safe. He has also expressed that it can be exhausting to be the sole “protector” of the home, and that he generally wishes he had some sort of external safety that he could go to when he’s having a moment of panic.

Some friends of ours had adopted a huge 150+ lb American Akita some time ago. I’m not familiar with the circumstances, but I know he was rehomed to them as an adult. He didn’t seem aggressive the first few times we met him, maybe slightly standoffish but I just figured we were strangers and he needed to be won over. Our own dog loved to play with him, and he loved to play with her. My husband absolutely fell in love with that dog, and told me that he would really love to have one, and that he would finally feel like he had that external safety if we had one of our own. He said he had never felt that safe before, except around that dog.

One day, our friends were out of town, and asked us to check in on the dog since we had met and he knew us. For whatever reason, likely due to his family being gone, he acted as if we were total strangers when we got there. Ears back, tail tucked, licking lips and growling with his teeth bared. Myself, I’m a tall woman, but I’ve always been very thin and not very muscular or athletic. I had a very sudden, very scary realization that if that dog wanted to attack, I would not be able to fight him off or control him at all. I hate to say that day was somewhat traumatic, but I had never before come across a dog that big acting that aggressive towards me. It really put me off owning the breed at all, and I don’t know if I would ever be comfortable having one in my home.

I’ve tried to make compromise with my husband, offering to get a different guardian breed, even one just as big, but always explaining to him that I was afraid of Akitas, and still am. But every time, we go in circles, where I’ll say I’m afraid and he’ll say another breed won’t do because only an Akita made him feel safe like that. To him, that day was proof of what an Akita in our ownership might do if it felt threatened on our behalf, in protection of us. To me, that day was proof that if an Akita snapped, it could cause massive injury to myself, our other pets, or our future children.

I really do feel for my husband, and I truly want him to be able to feel safe in his own home. I just really can’t get over the fear that day instilled in me. I just wish there was some other solution, and that it wasn’t all or nothing on that specific breed… I even tried to compromise by saying that if we did get one, we would just need to get a puppy from a reputable breeder, and put it into intensive training pretty much immediately. I still wouldn’t feel truly safe, but that’s the best way I can come up with to ensure that it would never be aggressive towards us. But since I’m the one saying no, it feels like I’m saying he can’t have that feeling of safety. AITAH for not letting him get an Akita?

A bit of context. I, (15, almost 16F) have been friends with a girl who I’ll call Amanda for this post. Amanda is a 16F, and this has been a huge stress on my mind.

Amanda and I became friends around May 2026, and she was honestly a really nice friend to me. She was always open and honest, and that’s where I tend to become a bit confused. Recently, Amanda made me join a scout group, and told me it was because she wanted to hang out with me outside of school. I joined, mainly because she had asked me, but also because I wanted to get off my phone and spend time outdoors. As soon as I joined, Amanda started using me as an excuse to not speak to her friends in that group. This was a bit confusing for me, as she had raved about how nice and cool everyone was.

After a few weeks, I finally asked Amanda why she wasn’t speaking to the people in the group anymore, and she told me that a boy in that scouts group had sexually assaulted by putting his hands on her hips. Naturally, I was horrified, and so I didn’t ask any more questions. However, another girl from this scouts group had started asking me questions about why Amanda hadn’t been talking to her. Pressure built up on me, and I eventually broke and told the girl (I’ll call her Amy) what I’d been told by Amanda. Amy was shocked, and then she told me that she knew what had actually happened. According to the Amy and the boy who’d been accused, Amanda had been forcefully trying to push the boy into water, and he’d put his hands on her hips to move her aside. The three of us were all upset, however, Amy took it a step further and began messaging Amanda, swearing at her and telling her she shouldn’t be making up false accusations like that, as they’re extremely serious. I do not condone the swearing, as I wasn’t aware what was being said at the time, but I do condone the scolding.

Amanda began to panic, and she and another girl (I’ll call this girl Lindsey) began to distance themselves from our friends. After a while, Lindsey began trying to be very nice with me, but in a sort of fake way, I’d say. Then she told me that Amanda wanted to talk to me, and that she’d be joining us in the conversation. Amanda did eventually pull me aside, but I refused to have Lindsey there, as I knew they’d try to accuse me of telling. The conversation was a brief summary about how horrible it was for her, and how, according to her, she was innocent because it was her ‘right to be upset’ however I don’t think it was her right to accuse someone of SA. They didn’t know who told the girl, because I asked Amy to keep it a secret because I didn’t want to be verbally abused over something that was serious. And I don’t know if anyone else will agree, but the weight of being told something like that is extremely intense for a teenager. So while I should’ve taken it to an appropriate adult, I had the feeling that the boy had the right to know what she was accusing him of behind his back.

But for the past few weeks, I think Amanda has been suspicious that it was me who told, she doesn’t have any evidence though. So, AITAH for ultimately telling someone about the SA allegations my friend created, which led to her being in trouble?

\Small note: Amanda has since gone to the police about this, and now the boy is facing a lot of stress. According to the boy, the police won’t listen to his side of the story, and Amanda is now making all of my friends in that group avoid me. I had a recent encounter where she led them to walk away and ignore me, although I’ve tried to reach out to talk about it with most of the girls who are now ignoring/avoiding me.*

i 21f have had a horrible history with my mother. she has kicked me out twice, the first time dropping my suitcases of at college when i was 16 and the second time in the second term of my first year of uni.

after every time i have been the one to bring back contact and start a dialogue again. this time, i got a cab to help me move back into student accommodation as i had to move home due to building works for six weeks. when i moved out i told my mum months in advance that i wanted help and she arrived at 8pm with my sister meaning that we couldn’t fit enough things in the car and had to make multiple trips which was stressful with work alongside.

me booking the van became a big problem bc she booked time off without telling me in order to “help me move”, but since she hadn’t communicated anything with my i assumed she wasn’t helping and made other arrangements. she accused me of being abusive because she was “too scared to talk to me”, cursed the day i was born and added all sorts of insults.

we haven’t spoken in over a month and now she is graduating from a course she is doing and my family is getting at me to go. but i have both university and other team sports commitments that i don’t want to miss out on for something i haven’t even been invited to by the person it’s for.

my family is saying im unfair because we are supposed to make sacrifices for family but my university works different to others in that if i miss the lecture i will be extremely behind, and my seminars are the days after which doesn’t really give me a lot of time for catch up. i said i would go when i was under the impression that i wouldn’t miss anything but now i just don’t want to.

TLDR: haven’t spoken to my mother in nearly two months and my family is telling me to miss school and my team obligations go to her graduation even though she hasn’t invited me.

i’m happy to give more information/clarification, just didn’t want to drown this first post with info i’m not sure is relevant lol

My wife (31F) and I (29M) have been married two years and have an eight-month-old son. We used to argue frequently, but I thought we’d improved. Recently, things have gotten worse.
She returned from a four-day business trip feeling guilty about leaving our son. I reassured her he was too young to remember, but would notice absences when older. She interpreted that as me calling her a bad mother. When she mentioned travelling more, I questioned how we’d manage without family support. We both work, and I’d originally wanted to delay children until I was financially established. She felt criticized, and I apologized.
She’s also been wanting more affection and sex. I’ve struggled with exhaustion and financial stress. Almost my entire salary goes toward bills. After a night of drinking and clubbing, she wanted sex, but I was exhausted and fell asleep. We discussed how stress affects my libido, and I thought she understood.
Then we went grocery shopping. At checkout, she went to grab something nearby. Knowing she’d taken longer than expected before, I deliberately chose the longest line. Still, I had to let five people ahead of me. I called and searched for her, eventually finding her discussing medication with a pharmacist.
I wasn’t upset about the pharmacist. I was upset she hadn’t communicated the delay. A quick message would’ve allowed me to leave the line. When I explained, she simply said “Okay” and walked away. No acknowledgment or apology.
This bothered me because she’d expect an apology if our roles were reversed. I feel she expects me to validate her feelings but resists doing the same.
We barely spoke afterward. The next day, she called me downstairs to talk but kept insisting I was angry about her speaking to the pharmacist. Frustrated that my actual concern wasn’t being heard, I walked upstairs.
She followed carrying our baby, shouting that I was damaged, had a bruised ego, and constantly needed to assert myself. I swore and told her to leave me alone. I’m not proud of that.
Sunday, she had a meeting, and we only have one car. I arranged for a visiting relative to babysit while I ran errands and had some personal time. She refused, insisting I personally watch our son.
I drove out with him. When she came banging on the car window demanding the keys, I deliberately laughed and stuck my tongue out to annoy her. Childish, absolutely.
The relative later confirmed they could babysit, so I returned and left our son with them. My wife became furious, took him from the relative, and insisted I watch him. I refused because childcare was available.
She followed me outside barefoot, carrying our baby and shouting that I had to take him because I’d asked for this child. I called her insane and refused, feeling she was forcing me to comply. She eventually drove away with him, disabled her location, and disappeared for approximately ten hours.
The following day, a mutual friend helped us discuss everything. We both shared our perspectives and reconciled. We were laughing, affectionate, and happy again.
I admitted worrying she’d reopen the argument because historically, our disagreements sometimes only end when I’m too exhausted to continue and agree just to restore peace. She insisted everything was resolved.
That night, around 3 a.m., she brought it up again, saying we shouldn’t involve outsiders in future disagreements. I don’t necessarily disagree, but we’d just agreed to move forward.
I listened, asked if she’d finished, and when she asked for my thoughts, I said I had nothing to add and went back to sleep. She’s been distant and barely speaking to me since.
I recognize my mistakes: mocking her, swearing, and calling her insane. She’s also eight months postpartum, exhausted, and building a business. I understand that.
But I feel my emotions matter only when they don’t inconvenience hers. I’m expected to apologize and acknowledge her feelings, while expressing mine becomes another argument.
AITA for expecting an acknowledgment and apology?

When we met up for coffee in the center, I was with my car. After we finished and walked over to my car, my friend asked if I could drop them off near their house if it’s not out of my way (about 3km out of my way)

I told them that while it was a bit out of my route, I’d still be happy to drive him if buses weren't running at that time because our city has regular, public transport. After that my friend said, "No worries, I'll catch a bus, see you later," and we parted ways. AITA for refusing to drive him if he had buses for 3km out of my way?

update: hey guys, forgot to mention that before going to coffee with friend i was also out for other errands (total of somewhere 7hrs with the coffee) and when he asked me, i was really tired and that’s why I partly declined but still offered if there weren’t buses anytime soon that i’d take him home

Ive been seeing this woman for 2 months she’s met my friends before when they visisted and i haven’t met hers and halloween is right around the corner, we arent doing it together because her friends dont know me so theyre not inviting me to their party, which valid im a stranger but.I feel like she didnt try hard enough to be like hey Ive been spending every day with him, hes cool, he should come or at least maybe dont go and we do our own thing. Im also not from here just moved halfway across the country 5 months ago so I dont exactly have plans, I cant go out with someone who else cause were exclusive and I really like her but Im just going to end it and see If i can atleast find a friend or fly back home maybe. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.

I’d like to preface by saying I’m not asking for techniques in dealing with dementia related behavior.

My mother has dementia, and my father is her primary caregiver. My parents are married and live together, and I live about 20 minutes away. Most of his family and friends live overseas, and he typically travels there for 7–8 days twice a year.

Whenever he travels, I’m expected to stay at their house with my mother full time. Although she can still bathe, dress herself, make a simple meal, and get around independently, her confusion and disorientation mean she cannot safely be left alone for any meaningful length of time.

I work full-time, so I’m also responsible for arranging supervision for her while I’m at work. This most recent trip, I couldn’t find a sitter for two days and had to take unpaid time off work—money I really cannot afford to lose. This is something I really wish my father would make arrangements for, as it leaves me scrambling to find a sitter while I work full time and he is retired.

Caring for my mother is emotionally exhausting. Because of her dementia, she believes she is the adult in charge and becomes nasty or defensive when redirected or corrected. She constantly loses things, and much of our time together consists of arguments, searching for misplaced belongings, and trying to redirect her. I understand that her behavior is a result of her illness, and I do not to take it personally. I keep her occupied and try to avoid engaging in arguments, but that doesn’t make the situation much easier.

She also becomes extremely distressed when my father travels. She doesn’t understand where he is, why he left, or when he’s coming home. At the same time, she resents my presence and repeatedly tells me she doesn’t need me and wants me to leave. So I’m left trying to supervise someone who doesn’t want me there, while managing her distress and hostility for days at a time.

This is probably the eighth time I’ve taken care of her while my father has been away, and I honestly don’t think I can do it again. I feel clinically depressed by the end of my week with her.

I feel obligated to help because she’s my mother, and I want my father to have a break from his caregiving responsibilities. But I also feel that it’s unfair for him to travel without having a reliable care plan in place, knowing that I work full-time, cannot afford to miss work, and will be left managing her cognitive destabilization due to his absence.

These trips are damaging my relationship with my mother and creating significant resentment toward my father. I find very little joy in our time together during these periods, and I don’t want the time I have left with her to be defined by misery and conflict for both of us.
I don’t want to deprive my father of the opportunity to travel and see his loved ones, but I also don’t think I can continue sacrificing my finances and emotional well-being to make those trips possible.

**Am I the asshole if I tell my father I can no longer be responsible for caring for my mother while he travels, even if that means he has to change his plans?**

And, separately, is it reasonable for my father to continue taking these trips at all even if we can arrange alternative care for my mother, given how distressed and destabilized she becomes whenever he leaves?

Edit-
Thank you all for the feedback. This is incredibly validating.

I do have siblings but they are not involved in any way.

I have the utmost empathy for my dad. I TRULY don’t know how he does this, and his undying devotion to her is something for the books. I don’t want to take away his very short respite time.

We have been discussing in home care for years, but my mom is very bossy and says she won’t allow anyone in the home. I would be more than happy to get this going, and have had caregivers lined up and ready to work, but my dad gets manipulated by her being nasty about it not wanting anyone, and inevitably pulls the plug. My father and I are both totally realistic that she needs more care, but I don’t live there and can’t be the person to open the door when the caregiver arrives.

I assure you I am doing everything I can to make sure both of my parents are able to have some quality of life, it’s just at the point where it’s beyond what I can manage myself.

To be continued I suppose.

TLDR: I accepted an invite to this girl A's timeshare in mexico (free all-inclusive) who my friend L introduced me to, and another girl, P, is also going, but L and P had a falling out last year and haven't talked. I like P and A and really want to go on this trip bc they're fun, but L is really upset and calling me out for not taking her side.

I (22F) have known my friend L (22F) since we were freshmen in college, about five years, and now we both live in NYC together. We lived together for two years in college and have always been close, but never exceptionally close - I don't confide in her and I wouldnt call us soul-sisters, but we have fun together and try to get drinks or dinner every other week. I like being her friend and having her in my life, and I would be really sad if our frienship ended, but I wouldn't say she is one of my best friends, yet she is one of my closest friends from our college.

Last October, I was going to Spain to visit my then-boyfriend and L was studying abroad in Italy at the time. She met me in Madrid and we spent 5 days together, along with her abroad friends A (22F) and P (21F). I really hit it off with the girls and we had a blast that weekend, going out and exploring. I especially had some deep conversations with P and she helped me break up with my boyfriend that week (she had experienced similar manipulation/charm and was really empathetic in a way that L wasn't).

After that trip to Spain, I stayed instragram friends with A and P, and was on their close friends story and we would DM or text here and there. Since I moved to nyc in June, I've started to see P more and more because she also lives in Brooklyn. I really like her energy and I actually think I'm a more similar person to her than to L (me and L have very different lifestyles and hobbies).

However, the trouble is that L and P had some issues at the end of their semester in Italy, and after a tense trip, P started withdrawing from L and eventually stopped hanging out or texting her. L felt very hurt by this, and tried to reach out for closure, and P didn't respond. P says she doesn't remember ghosting L, and that from her perspective they just didn't click. L says she feels really hurt and sad about how their friendship ended.

I knew that L was sad about her friendship ending with P, but honestly the story she told didn't sound like they did anything to each other and it sounded more like a frienship that worked while they were abroad and fizzled out. She didn't ever mention their rift to me after initially telling me about it, they still follow each other on instagram and I know she never had any issue with A, they just dont text anymore.

And, knowing all of this, I kept P in my life w casual DMs, and as I moved to Brooklyn, we started seeing each other more as she lived nearby. I've seen her about once a month since I moved here in July, and I really enjoy her energy and presence. I mentioned to L that I had been seeing P, and she seemed off-put and suprised and a little annoyed, but she ended up asking why I didn't invite her or tell her about it sooner. I was suprised when she said that and said I'd mention that to P and send her an invite sometime down the line. And I was happy that it seemed like she wanted to reconnect.

And then I saw a post on A's close friend story, about two months ago, and she was asking who wanted to go to Mexico with her over Christmas. I swiped up and was like YES PLEASEEE, half thinking it was a joke or wouldn't go anywhere. But then A reached out a week or two later and invited me to come to her dad's timeshare in Cancun for a week in Mexico- I would only have to pay for my flights and the excursion. I said yes and was super excited to get to reconnect with this cool girl. And then I learned that A was inviting P, and I was also excited bc I really like P. And then I realized I would have to tell L and my heart twitched, because I did know that it would make her feel excluded and hurt.

I just didn't know how much.

I told her last night, about 3-4 weeks after I bought the tickets, because I had been waiting for a 1on1 moment and I wanted to have the talk in-person. I brought it up and the conversation went bad. She was crying, very hurt, and said that she felt like I wasn't taking her side and that it was another example of me not having her back (I stayed friends with someone she had a situationship with in college who I had been friends with before). She said I should have texted her as soon as the opportunity came up and that I should have told her, not to ask permission, but to see how it would make her feel. She was like "even if I would've told you it hurts me you still would go through with it bc that's the kind of person you are" which hurt. And she brought up one of my ex-friends who I had a study-abroad friendship breakup with and was like "how would you feel if I texted V and planned a trip to Mexico with her?" which also stung bc I know that would hurt me. But quite frankly, I didn't think her rift with P was that bad, I just thought they fizzled out as friends. I think another reason why she's hurt is feeling like she was not included in the process, which I totally get. But midway through the dinner she left the restaurant in tears and the only thing I've heard from her is when she texted the college group chat that she isn't coming to homecoming next weekend anymore.

I feel awful that I hurt my friend, and I am really sad that this is likely going to be a friendship-breaker for her. But also, I don't want to cancel the trip bc I was really looking forward to it and I really fuck with A and P. And I think if I cancelled it, I would resent her and I dont think she would fully forgive me anyways. So now I have to decide if our frienship is worth preserving and if I am willing to cancel this trip and screw over A (she put the resort booking in my name and it would cost $ to change it). I do not think a week in Mexico is worth a 5-year friendship, but I also think that me and L have different expectations for loyalty in friendship and it has me reconsidering if our relationship is something I want to fight for if she expects me to cancel this trip.

I am really sad for her and I understand that she's hurt and I feel like a dick. But I still don't think I did anything wrong. Am I the asshole? Should I cancel the trip?

16M.

We have two TV's in the house, one in the living room and one in my parents bedroom, the one in the living room is located in a place that shines light all over my room and I can clearly hear the sound.

It was 10 PM and I was trying to sleep so I asked my parents to move to the bedroom TV because I had to wake up at 6 AM the next morning and they got mad.

btw I can't close the bedroom door because I have trouble breathing with a closed door.

AITAH for asking them to move to the TV that is located in their bedroom?

I am going to preface this by saying that I am 17, I work a part time job where my pay fluctuates, some paychecks are ~$80, while others have been ~$300, depending on my hours. Now, when I get paid, my step father, (age irrelevant), splits my paycheck in half and sets half into my checking, and half into my savings. I have no problem with this. However, since I get paid weekly, this means that I have varying amounts of money to use depending on the prior week.

Today, my usual payday, I had just gotten out of school, which is when on Thursdays, I’d usually by my weekly bus pass, which I use to get home from school, and to and from work, however, I saw that my paycheck had not been added yet. No big deal, I had saved some money from my last paycheck just in case my dad was a little late, which wasn’t common, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. So I called my stepfather, with the intent to ask him about my paycheck, to which he didn’t pick up, which was uncommon for him. I figured he’d either been asleep, or hadn’t heard his phone go off, so I called twice more, which within our family is not seen as a big deal, since calls are commonplace for us. However - still no answer. That was really odd. So, instead, I called my mother and asked her if she knew what was up with my step dad, to which she told me, she had accidentally taken his phone with hers, so he was without a phone at that moment, but that he was on the way back to get it. Okay, I understood then. So I paid for my one time use ticket to get home, and when I got home, I called my stepfather one last time to see if he’d gotten his phone yet, still nothing. Okay, not a big deal. I didn’t have a problem with waiting. But when my stepfather eventually got home, he yelled and berated me, telling me that I should’ve been less frugal with my money, and that I didn’t need to call him more than once if he didn’t pick up, since “he’s not my child”. Which I couldn’t figure out what to respond with, since I had woken up. So, am I the asshole for calling him that many times?

TL;DR: My step-dad , who handles my paychecks was late on depositing one, which led to me calling him, which he then got mad at.

okay so basically i found phones that were unused it was like a whole box. i texted the guy asking if they were tested or not and they said no, so i asked if any of them are able to turn on and he say yea some then the last thing i asked was could he send some pics of the bundle and so he did.

he told me he would discount for me if i bought it today. The original price was $73.53 and he discounted to $49.02 so i said alright I’ll take it. He sent me his info and i said could u give me a while to transfer the money? He said alright. 30 mins later he comes and texts me, he says if you don’t want it it’s okay cancel the offer and deleted all the photos he sent me.

I then told him no i still want it, it takes me a while to transfer money. And he said okay. As i was busy during that time i had no time transfer. a bit later he came texting me again, saying that if he doesn’t receive the money in 4 hours he’ll wish me joy and to cancel the offer.

and this is where I feel like i might be the asshole, i told him could you wait? ur being very impatient. He got so mad after i said this, he said that i wasted his time and if i didn’t want it I could’ve just cancelled that he said the deal was for today only not tommorow or the deal after and at last he said “understood?” Which pissed me the hell off.

He sent alot of messages like he just kept writing and I just told him “stop yapping, is this ChatGPT?” And he got so mad at this, he started calling me poor and if I was poor I shouldn’t have made an offer and waste his time, he then called me an asshole and to go fck myself.

then he left me a review saying that I was a nuisance that I kept asking questions and asking for pictures and that I wasted his time and said that I was being rude even after he gave a discount. I replied saying “you’re the one who wasted all my time, giving me a time limit to when I should send the money, I said I wanted it already couldn’t you just wait, and some more you’re calling me poor? Thinking I couldn’t afford this? Ur lack of impatience is horrible. I told you give me time as im busy just now, if I haven’t gave the money yet then be patient. as if anyone is interested.”

AITAH?

EDIT: forgot to mention this but a lot of reviews are calling him a scammer and that he’s a rude individual. in one of the reviews he replied to he told them that he hoped they get scammed and that they were annoying. tons of reviews saying he was arrogant, rude and had a bad attitude, that if you found something better and no longer intrested he’ll start swearing at you.

Ok so I (21F) cooked pasta with anchovies today at home. I have 2 roomates (22F both). One of my roomate came home and immediately smelled the smell of fish and got angry. I had opened all the windows in the appartment but yeah you know i agree it’s a smell you don’t easily get rid off.

She asked me why i had to cook this, i apologized for the smell.

She then complained again at least 5 times in the afternoon, saying she was mad at me. Mind you, we had friends coming over at like 6 pm and i was baking cookies and they all complimented the smell of the cookies.

Like i KNOW it smells bad right? But i don’t cook fish often… i don’t know man.

AITAH?

EDIT INFOS:
-The friends coming over were mine, and hers.
-It was the first time i cooked something like that in a year of living here.

I (40f) was with my ex (51m) for almost 10 years. I have a hard time describing the relationship because it wasn't a traditional relationship. Unlabeled (not either of our things) but exclusive. We never lived together, and never joined finances. He never met my family (for very specific reasons that arent important here). I met his mom and (adult) daughter a couple times but didn't really have a relationship with them. Great people, just involving families was not the kind of relationship he and I wanted.

Let me preface this with: I know. I'm stupid for loaning money. Im not here to find out if I'm an idiot for loaning money. I already know I am. I'm also not here for judgments on my relationship - it worked for us (until it didn't and we broke up). I'm only here to figure out if my plan to recover the money he owes me makes me TAH.

Some helpful background for why I am in the position I am. A few years into the relationship (around 2018), he had some major car repairs he couldn't afford, so i loaned him money for the repairs. No written agreement or anything. Just a handshake agreement and trust. I never mentioned it again and he paid me back in full several months later. No problems.

In January 2024, his daughter was trying to get out of an abusive relationship and needed a new apartment quick. They didn't have money for a deposit. So I loaned him the money. In January 2025, he had an unexpected temporary layoff and needed help to get through the next couple months. So i loaned him a bit more. He acknowledged he still owed me the money from 2024 and promised once his house sold he would pay me back.

In August 2025, I found out his house had sold in June but he hid it from me. He also hid a bunch of other stuff from me. By December 2025 I was tired of his BS and decided the relationship had run its course. He told me he would get a second job after the new year so he could repay me in early 2026. I didnt want to be unreasonable and demand payment before the holdiays or anything, so I said that was fine.

Then in February 2026, I texted him to ask about the status. He kept giving excuses. Saying he didnt have the full amount right then. I said it was fine - he could do payments like a couple hundred dollars a month until it was paid. He just wanted to do the full amount and get it done all at once. So I gave grace. March, more excuses. April more excuses. May he ignores me until I threatened to take him to court. Then he said he would pay July 15.

July 15 comes and goes; nothing. I reach out a week after, and it's more excuses, just needs another couple months. He has now "promised" that payments will start the end of this month. I only got that promise by saying if he didn't arrange a concrete payment plan, I would file the lawsuit the next day.

In the meantime, I found out he went on multiple trips over the last several months - and not cheap ones. Napa Valley, world cup in Dallas, Daytona Beach, an Usher concert 4 hours from home, and he is currently on a Caribbean cruise! This man has been crying about not having any money to pay me while living his best life on my money. Any one of those trips probably could have covered the amount he owes me.

I absolutely can file suit if he doesn't pay this month, but I really don't want to. In my state, all court records are readily available to the public (like can just go on the website and download it without even logging in or paying anything). I work in the legal field so I personally know almost all the judges in my county, and I really dont want to go in front of them if I can avoid it. So if he doesnt pay me in two weeks like he promised (although clearly he isn't actually trustworthy so I'm not expecting he will actually pay now), I was considering contacting his mom just to see if maybe a little encouragement from her might get him to pay without having to go to court. I only hesitate about because I wasn't ever close with her and at this point, it's been a couple years since I've even seen her. So it feels a little weird and "tattling". But he's clearly been stringing me along and being less than open and honest with me about things.

So, WIBTAH if I sent a letter or called my ex's mom to encourage him to repay me (not to get her to pay me)?

I am 15, my mother's 55, my brother's 15 and my father's 51. This is all my version of events, so there's obviously some bias.

Yesterday we (my mum, brother and me) were eating at the table. My father was working. The conversation turned to someone's death at my brother's school. My mother started talking about how we must never commit suicide and how we've had an easy life so would have never felt these feelings before.

For context, my mother has a history of shouting since we were little when we did something wrong (basically everyday). My brother says I'm "scared" of her shouting. I've also had some issues with mental health (unbeknownst to my parents) due to my absolute failure at socialising.

She was saying all of this quite forcefully, and I felt like she was going to shout and also kind of triggered by the fact we'd apparently had an easy life. She probably wasn't going to shout, lookinh back, but she was probably in that kind of state tbh.

So I said "ok, thank you" to try to calm everything down (in my mind). She felt shut down, I think, and started shouting. So I left the table since I just can't deal with stuff when she is shouting.

She was shouting more as I left, and I knew I'd just be shouted at more if I went down so I decided to just stay upstairs.

My brother came up and said I had to go down. I got kind of upset and said that if I went down she'd just shout. He tried to persuade me, but I refused. He left and went down. Immediately she started shouting at him (I felt kind of vindicated). He is less scared of her shouting so argued back at her and defended me (he's amazing but he should try to avoid arguments imo as he's always arguing with her about her very right-wing politics).

The shouting continued on and off for the whole of the evening and she started talking about how we treated her like a slave and she'd cooked for a whole hour. She said we had to run the bath and I had to put away the newly washed clothes. I was perfectly fine with this, I don't mind doing my clothes. I asked her if she wanted to go in but she just shouted at me.

My brother told me we had to cultivate a relationship with her as she was our mother (he was very visibly distressed). I gave him some chocolate I'd bought to share earlier when I was buying food for our mother to cook after school and said it was impossible when she was always shouting.

Eventually I got to sleep even as my mother and brother were arguing for maybe the 4th time.

I didn't see her in the morning, but my father asked if I was ok as he'd heard about it from my mother. I told him he should check with my brother.

I got back from school today and at first my father instigated a big hug between us and I thought she'd got over it. But then she started shouting about how we treated her like a slave and how much effort she had done for that food.

I went upstairs and found my unwashed school clothes (usually washed with the rest) singled out and on my bedroom floor. My father said she'd calm down.

AITAH? She hasn't been angry for so long since my brother and me accidentally spilled ink on the carpet?

A couple friends to my wife are getting married. And for their wedding party, they asked men to wear black suit.

I have nice suit in different color (navy blue, etc) but not black. And I refused so far to buy a new black suit just for this.

My wife got mad at me and said she is attending without me unless I buy a black suit only for this.

AITAH ?

I (25F) lost my mother when I was five, and I don't know who my father is. I was raised by my maternal grandmother, and I lived with her and my mother before my mother passed away.

I've been living at home for most of this year after studying away from home. I contribute financially to the household, but I've also been working towards moving out and becoming independent.

Lately, I've been seriously considering cutting my grandmother out of my life because I feel that our relationship has become toxic. However, I feel guilty because she raised me after my mother died, and I don't know whether I'm being ungrateful or justified in wanting to walk away.

For context, there have been incidents throughout my life that have affected how I feel about her.

Growing up, I would ask my grandmother about my father's identity, and she would tell me she didn't know. When I was around 10, she suggested that I write to a television show that helps people find lost relatives so they could help me find him. Looking back, I find this insensitive to say to a child who had already lost her mother and was growing up without knowing her father. I understand that she might have been trying to help, but the memory has stayed with me.

Another incident happened when I was 18. I found my mother's former boyfriend and wanted to establish whether he might be my biological father, so I asked about doing a DNA test. My grandmother responded by saying that it wasn't her fault my mother was promiscuous and that her decision to raise me was a favour.

That comment hurt me deeply. I understand that raising me was a responsibility she took on, and I appreciate that she provided a home for me. However, I sometimes feel as though she uses the fact that she raised me as a reason I should tolerate things that otherwise wouldn't be acceptable.

There have been other incidents over the years, but I'll focus on what's happening now.

My grandmother has a habit of getting into debt, and I often end up taking on more financial responsibility than I anticipated. She also lies to me about things, which has affected my trust in her.

Recently, she had renovations done. I anticipated that she would need a new oven, so I offered to buy one for her because I didn't want her to go into further debt. Shortly afterwards, she decided to buy additional furniture on credit. The repayments are now eating into the household's food budget, meaning I may have to contribute more money again.

A few months ago, she made a comment that my money is our money. I found this concerning because I'm trying to save up to move out, and I don't believe that contributing to the household means I'm obligated to take responsibility for her financial decisions.

Yesterday, I offered to lend her some money but explained that she would need to pay me back because I would need the money myself. She responded by asking whether I ever pay her back. For context, the one time I borrowed money from her, I repaid her.

Because of her debts, she hasn't been buying much food. Last night, she made extra food for supper, and today I asked whether we could have the leftovers for lunch. She asked me when I had ever eaten that particular food before. I explained that there wasn't much food available and that I was willing to eat whatever we had. She still didn't want me to eat the leftovers.

I know the food incident might sound minor, but it bothered me in the context of everything else. I contribute to the household, try to help financially, and am working towards independence, yet I feel that my needs are often disregarded while I'm expected to help resolve problems I didn't create.

The more I think about our relationship, the more I wonder whether I actually want her in my life once I move out. Part of me wants to cut contact completely because I'm tired of feeling guilty, financially responsible, and hurt by someone who is supposed to be family.

The other part of me feels guilty because she raised me. I know that she made sacrifices, and I sometimes wonder whether wanting to walk away means I'm failing to appreciate everything she did for me.

I also worry that I'm making this decision based on resentment rather than looking at the situation objectively. I don't want to be unfair to her, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life in a relationship that makes me unhappy simply because I feel indebted to her.

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to cut my grandmother out of my life, despite the fact that she raised me after my mother died?

Am I being ungrateful for considering going no-contact with someone who took responsibility for me, or is it reasonable to decide that the history we share doesn't obligate me to maintain a relationship that I no longer feel is healthy?

My (28M) dad (55M) is asking me to attend a funeral that is roughly a 9-hour drive for an aunt (NOT my father's sister, I believe she is a cousin or maybe familt friend) who passed away fairly recently. I was notified a few hours ago (Wednesday evening), and the funeral is Saturday morning.

I already dislike the idea of attending because funerals are difficult for me and I sincerely dislike travel, especially by car. It being such short notice is not the end of the world, but it is frustrating and almost triggering to me because of how admittedly rigid I am with schedules. I would also have to take off work and because I have no PTO left, I would be unpaid.

However, my moral conflict is that this weekend in particular is one in which I planned on celebrating two birthdays that I'd been looking forward to. One because I'm good friends with them, and two because my mental health has been in the toilet (especially due to loneliness) recently and I kind of need the pick me-up that comes with having fun with friends. I have another family event that the following week that I've canceled plans for, too. I'm loathing the fact that my judgement is partially clouded by this.

Additionally, I didn't really know my aunt. I learned her name yesterday, and I know one of her children (who is ~15 years older than me and I haven't seen or spoken to him in over 10 years). So while I recognize that funerals are really for the living, I don't really know any of the living family members. If I go, it would be for my parents, and mainly to help with the drive (though, there is no expectation for me to drive since my dad doesn't mind such drives).

I've offered to send a card with flowers and $, offering my condolences in place of me being there physically, but I can't help but think I'm being impolite and selfish.

For some clarity:

- I wouldn't be the one driving. I'm just being asked to go with. My mom is going with dad, so he's not alone.

- I'm calling her my aunt because she's my dad's cousin/family friend. Not a sister, though I don't actually know what the relationship is. I don't know the widower.

- $ + card because I can afford to alleviate some of her financial stress and I recognize that it has been tough for this couple as they've gotten older