For context, my husband is a combat veteran with PTSD; he has nightmares semi-frequently and doesn’t do very well emotionally when he doesn’t feel safe. He has also expressed that it can be exhausting to be the sole “protector” of the home, and that he generally wishes he had some sort of external safety that he could go to when he’s having a moment of panic.

Some friends of ours had adopted a huge 150+ lb American Akita some time ago. I’m not familiar with the circumstances, but I know he was rehomed to them as an adult. He didn’t seem aggressive the first few times we met him, maybe slightly standoffish but I just figured we were strangers and he needed to be won over. Our own dog loved to play with him, and he loved to play with her. My husband absolutely fell in love with that dog, and told me that he would really love to have one, and that he would finally feel like he had that external safety if we had one of our own. He said he had never felt that safe before, except around that dog.

One day, our friends were out of town, and asked us to check in on the dog since we had met and he knew us. For whatever reason, likely due to his family being gone, he acted as if we were total strangers when we got there. Ears back, tail tucked, licking lips and growling with his teeth bared. Myself, I’m a tall woman, but I’ve always been very thin and not very muscular or athletic. I had a very sudden, very scary realization that if that dog wanted to attack, I would not be able to fight him off or control him at all. I hate to say that day was somewhat traumatic, but I had never before come across a dog that big acting that aggressive towards me. It really put me off owning the breed at all, and I don’t know if I would ever be comfortable having one in my home.

I’ve tried to make compromise with my husband, offering to get a different guardian breed, even one just as big, but always explaining to him that I was afraid of Akitas, and still am. But every time, we go in circles, where I’ll say I’m afraid and he’ll say another breed won’t do because only an Akita made him feel safe like that. To him, that day was proof of what an Akita in our ownership might do if it felt threatened on our behalf, in protection of us. To me, that day was proof that if an Akita snapped, it could cause massive injury to myself, our other pets, or our future children.

I really do feel for my husband, and I truly want him to be able to feel safe in his own home. I just really can’t get over the fear that day instilled in me. I just wish there was some other solution, and that it wasn’t all or nothing on that specific breed… I even tried to compromise by saying that if we did get one, we would just need to get a puppy from a reputable breeder, and put it into intensive training pretty much immediately. I still wouldn’t feel truly safe, but that’s the best way I can come up with to ensure that it would never be aggressive towards us. But since I’m the one saying no, it feels like I’m saying he can’t have that feeling of safety. AITAH for not letting him get an Akita?

Context:
My sister whom presumes to live a lavish life had a destination pre-wedding party for family and friends alike. In the invite they specified that they would cover all expenses for the invitees.

When I arrived, I was approached by the Groom stating he knew that I liked Whiskey and that it wasn't originally covered on their open bar tab, but to, and I quote: "ask for anything you want bro, I got you. Hell, get a bottle for yourself and your friends if you like"
I denied the bottle offering and chose to only ask for a couple drinks (2 doubles).

My mistake that I fully own is that I did not ask for the pricing of the drink menu items offered (I was shown a menu with no prices, that kind of place).

Several days later, my sister asks me to pay the tab for the drinks I had as it came out that each drink cost $150 a pop.

I have since paid my share (3/4s of my tab) but now wonder if I was in the wrong here.

I am going to preface this by saying that I am 17, I work a part time job where my pay fluctuates, some paychecks are ~$80, while others have been ~$300, depending on my hours. Now, when I get paid, my step father, (age irrelevant), splits my paycheck in half and sets half into my checking, and half into my savings. I have no problem with this. However, since I get paid weekly, this means that I have varying amounts of money to use depending on the prior week.

Today, my usual payday, I had just gotten out of school, which is when on Thursdays, I’d usually by my weekly bus pass, which I use to get home from school, and to and from work, however, I saw that my paycheck had not been added yet. No big deal, I had saved some money from my last paycheck just in case my dad was a little late, which wasn’t common, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. So I called my stepfather, with the intent to ask him about my paycheck, to which he didn’t pick up, which was uncommon for him. I figured he’d either been asleep, or hadn’t heard his phone go off, so I called twice more, which within our family is not seen as a big deal, since calls are commonplace for us. However - still no answer. That was really odd. So, instead, I called my mother and asked her if she knew what was up with my step dad, to which she told me, she had accidentally taken his phone with hers, so he was without a phone at that moment, but that he was on the way back to get it. Okay, I understood then. So I paid for my one time use ticket to get home, and when I got home, I called my stepfather one last time to see if he’d gotten his phone yet, still nothing. Okay, not a big deal. I didn’t have a problem with waiting. But when my stepfather eventually got home, he yelled and berated me, telling me that I should’ve been less frugal with my money, and that I didn’t need to call him more than once if he didn’t pick up, since “he’s not my child”. Which I couldn’t figure out what to respond with, since I had woken up. So, am I the asshole for calling him that many times?

TL;DR: My step-dad , who handles my paychecks was late on depositing one, which led to me calling him, which he then got mad at.

I’d like to preface by saying I’m not asking for techniques in dealing with dementia related behavior.

My mother has dementia, and my father is her primary caregiver. My parents are married and live together, and I live about 20 minutes away. Most of his family and friends live overseas, and he typically travels there for 7–8 days twice a year.

Whenever he travels, I’m expected to stay at their house with my mother full time. Although she can still bathe, dress herself, make a simple meal, and get around independently, her confusion and disorientation mean she cannot safely be left alone for any meaningful length of time.

I work full-time, so I’m also responsible for arranging supervision for her while I’m at work. This most recent trip, I couldn’t find a sitter for two days and had to take unpaid time off work—money I really cannot afford to lose. This is something I really wish my father would make arrangements for, as it leaves me scrambling to find a sitter while I work full time and he is retired.

Caring for my mother is emotionally exhausting. Because of her dementia, she believes she is the adult in charge and becomes nasty or defensive when redirected or corrected. She constantly loses things, and much of our time together consists of arguments, searching for misplaced belongings, and trying to redirect her. I understand that her behavior is a result of her illness, and I do not to take it personally. I keep her occupied and try to avoid engaging in arguments, but that doesn’t make the situation much easier.

She also becomes extremely distressed when my father travels. She doesn’t understand where he is, why he left, or when he’s coming home. At the same time, she resents my presence and repeatedly tells me she doesn’t need me and wants me to leave. So I’m left trying to supervise someone who doesn’t want me there, while managing her distress and hostility for days at a time.

This is probably the eighth time I’ve taken care of her while my father has been away, and I honestly don’t think I can do it again. I feel clinically depressed by the end of my week with her.

I feel obligated to help because she’s my mother, and I want my father to have a break from his caregiving responsibilities. But I also feel that it’s unfair for him to travel without having a reliable care plan in place, knowing that I work full-time, cannot afford to miss work, and will be left managing her cognitive destabilization due to his absence.

These trips are damaging my relationship with my mother and creating significant resentment toward my father. I find very little joy in our time together during these periods, and I don’t want the time I have left with her to be defined by misery and conflict for both of us.
I don’t want to deprive my father of the opportunity to travel and see his loved ones, but I also don’t think I can continue sacrificing my finances and emotional well-being to make those trips possible.

**Am I the asshole if I tell my father I can no longer be responsible for caring for my mother while he travels, even if that means he has to change his plans?**

And, separately, is it reasonable for my father to continue taking these trips at all even if we can arrange alternative care for my mother, given how distressed and destabilized she becomes whenever he leaves?

Edit-
Thank you all for the feedback. This is incredibly validating.

I do have siblings but they are not involved in any way.

I have the utmost empathy for my dad. I TRULY don’t know how he does this, and his undying devotion to her is something for the books. I don’t want to take away his very short respite time.

We have been discussing in home care for years, but my mom is very bossy and says she won’t allow anyone in the home. I would be more than happy to get this going, and have had caregivers lined up and ready to work, but my dad gets manipulated by her being nasty about it not wanting anyone, and inevitably pulls the plug. My father and I are both totally realistic that she needs more care, but I don’t live there and can’t be the person to open the door when the caregiver arrives.

I assure you I am doing everything I can to make sure both of my parents are able to have some quality of life, it’s just at the point where it’s beyond what I can manage myself.

To be continued I suppose.

my dad has lung cancer. i have had a tumultuous relationship with my parents throughout the years. so i should preface, im particularly guarded about them, although overall our relationship has improved over the years and ive accepted things of my childhood.

one weekend recently i visited them with my daughters. at one point over the weekend i came inside to the living room, and my daughter was standing there, looking at me with tears in her eyes. i asked her what was the matter. she does this thing where when she’s upset or something is bothering her, she shuts down/has a hard time articulating what’s bothering her.

i realized she was upset and asked her again what happened. she wouldn’t talk. so i said “let’s go back here and talk”. took her back to my mom’s room and said “what’s going on honey”? she said my mom ‘hit her with a towel’. me, confused, and just comforting her, i asked if she was just playing. my daughter said no. i asked why, and she shrugged her shoulders, implying she didn’t know. i said “do you want me to talk to her?” and she said yes.

i went out, pointed to my mom, motioned her to come over to me. i said “she said something about hitting her with a towel?” my mom: “what? why would she say that?” she walked past me and went to talk to my daughter. what actually happened was my daughter was watching TV, my mom called her name several times, she didn’t answer, so my mom bopped her head with a cloth, lightly. i asked her to at least clarify that she didn’t intend to startle her, that she wasn’t mad. i think that’s important regardless of whether anything hurt. after all, she’s 4, and she was clearly upset by it.

fast forward: my mom suggested a few days later that she was ‘disgusted’ by my ‘behavior’ and appalled that i would ‘humiliate her’ the way i did. against my better judgement, and for the sake of keeping the peace for my dad, i took ownership for what i could see having come off the wrong way: pointing to her and motioning her to come. i called her and said “mom, i apologize for how that may have come off, it wasn’t my intention. my sole intent was to check on her and make sure she knows daddy is on her team.” mom said she appreciated the apology, we hung up.

later i get another text, saying essentially that just because i apologized doesn’t mean we’re good. that we need to talk, that she’s stunned i would humiliate her. i told her i took initiative, took ownership and apologized for my part, clarified my intentions, and will not apologize for checking on my daughter so there’s nothing more for me to discuss and that if she needs space, she can take it.

well she left me a voicemail today saying i’m a jerk, can’t believe i won’t hear her out, she loves me as a son but doesn’t like me, and i don’t care about my dad.

then dad calls today. ended up being an explosive argument but long story short: my 4 year old daughter is a ‘liar manipulator’. He genuinely believes my daughter lied and manipulated me. When i told him there’s nothing wrong with me checking on her feelings, he said that’s some ‘woke bullshit’. Like he seemed to be genuinely triggered at me for being on my daughter’s team.

ended with my terminally ill father saying my 4 year old is a liar manipulator, i’m a woke piece of shit, he’s gonna die and i can have a nice life.

AITAH? Or am i right to die on this hill? Am i crazy or is that absurd to call a 4 year old a liar manipulator?

EDIT: I had asked my dad what he believed I should’ve done differently since i’m ‘woke’. He said i should’ve just told her it was only a towel and to go play. Move on. To me, that’s the exact kind of unavailability that breeds secrecy and teaches a kid that being vulnerable isn’t safe. I will never do that to my child.

The relationship is over and he's moving out.

Original post link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/0cN7Z3gtJm

I had previously posted an update but with some of the personal details involved, I decided to delete it. He had disappeared Friday for 5 days and today I insisted that he come and have a conversation with me. He did not let me know he was leaving, or where he was going, or even that he was okay and when I asked him about it today, he told me that he didn't tell me because before that I was being a bitch to him. That crossed the line for me, and made me realize that this is not a person I want in my life no matter our history. His depression and his personal struggles regarding the reason for his absence do not excuse his actively trying to punish me by making me worry. I told him to coordinate with my mom who also lives on the property to remove his things, I gave him the information to move off of my phone plan, and I told him that I don't want any further contact and blocked him. It seems he's been staying with a friend since he got back and he can stay there indefinitely, it's not my problem anymore.

I wish the update was better but I know I'm making the right decision for myself. Better to protect my peace and be single then put up with even another day of being treated that way.

A couple friends to my wife are getting married. And for their wedding party, they asked men to wear black suit.

I have nice suit in different color (navy blue, etc) but not black. And I refused so far to buy a new black suit just for this.

My wife got mad at me and said she is attending without me unless I buy a black suit only for this.

AITAH ?

Hi, I will try to make this as simple and short as possible. Sorry if anything is off; English is not my first language, and while I am fluent, I dont always communicate things properly in these kinds of situations.

My (20f) parents (49m and 55f) were together until I was 16. They had always had issues, but the final nail in the coffin was when my father started cheating on my mom with a coworker (50f, and I will call her Bianca).

Bianca was on her 3rd husband, had two children, and is just a mean person. I have never met her, but from what people who have seen them in public say, she treats my father horribly. Demands expensive items and treats him like he is less than her and should just do whatever she wants. Even though it has been multiple years, Bianca and my father are still apparently together.

After my father started cheating, he did not speak to me for months; my mom had to beg him to text me. He called my mom horrible names and was just a terrible father. Our relationship was almost non-existent. 2 years into still seeing Bianca despite her being married, my father cheated on her with one of my mom's friends, never apologized, and just continued seeing Bianca.

My relationship with my father has gotten much better as the years have gone by. Fast forward to now, I was going to go visit him at his office next week, as I would be in the city he works in, and he texted to ask if I was okay meeting Bianca.

He has never asked this of me before, and I am not quite sure what to do. I want to say no; I don't want to meet this woman and have to spend time with just her and my father, but would this be dramatic? WIBTA if I said no?

AITAH for not giving up a shift at work that I worked hard to get and won by meeting the required metrics to bid for? For context, one of my coworkers recently expressed that she felt blind sided that I bid for the morning shift with weekends off instead of telling her what I was bidding for during our quarterly shift bid. She went on to say that because she had kids that I ruined her routine because by her having to come in about 30 minutes later remotely and leaving half an hour later plus work weekends I have ruined her kids routine. I am a single person with no kids, but I have been working weekends since July after the last bid and have worked hard to meet and exceed what is required to get a better shift in my work area.

MY (30F) MIL(52F) LOVES to give me gifts. I personally dont like receiving gifts from her, because she gets me gifts ALL the time. And its usually stuff (clothes) I don’t like. I just accept the gift, smile and say thank you.

Little backstory about myself:
I grew up with very little money and always think very hard before buying myself clothes etc. I don’t like to waste money and tent to feel very guilty of I don’t wear ALL of my clothes.
I also HATE having a lot of stuff in my house, since it overstimulates me a lot (i grew up with a mother that loved to hoard). I am very picky with what I get for myself.

So when she buys me outfits its very rare that I like what she Gets me. She also loves buying expensive stuff. so naturally I feel guilty for not wearing the gifts she gets me ( or I wear them and will feel ugly in them).

My husband also doesnt like when she gets him clothes, he didnt ask and why waste money when your closet is already so full. He usually doesnt even touch it, they stay in the exact same spot for weeks (un-opened)

Thats also a thing, bcuz of her gifts we barely have any storage left in our house. It just gets to a point where it excessive.

She also loves buying stuff for our house, but I don’t like her design choises.

We moved into a new place and our couch was too large for the living room. We decided to sell it via Facebook marketplace. It originally cost around 3400€ and it is only 3 years old. The couch is in great condition and still fluffy and comfortable. Since we're selling the old appartment, the couch needs to leave by a certain date, as the new owners want to renovate the flooring.

At the same time my MIL started toying around with the idea of getting a new couch herself, as hers is 10+ years old and scratched to death from cats that no longer live with her. Our initial price of 800€ didn't find any buyer on Facebook and my MIL found the price too high, as this couch was not EXACTLY was she was looking for.

We dropped the price to 600€ and found a person who was willing to buy it for 500€. We accepted this offer and arranged a pick-up date (the day before the appartment needed to be empty).
Shortly after, MIL saw the new price and said that she wants to have it. We told her that the couch is promised to someone else now and we thought this whole thing ended there.

3 Days before the pick-up date, the buyer contacted us again and told us that she did not measure her living room correctly and that it would not fit.
The same day, MIL came to visit the new house and I told her about the couch update. Her husband looked and her and said "then we will take it?" to which she nodded. I told her that it's a good price and if she still decided to get a new couch in a few months, she would probably still be able to sell this one for around 500€, so there is almost no loss. She said "yes that is true." in response.

This was a week ago. Yesterday we still didnt get a payment of her, so my wife asked me to send a Wero request (I believe in the US it's called Venmo?) to her, as a reminder. My wife saw that her mother was out and about to go shopping for a new and expensive carpet to go along her newly acquired couch and thought "well if she's spending money, might as well pay us first".

This is where things go south. Upen receiving my money request, she started texting my wife in a very rude way. Ranting about how not elegant it is to send the request and that she thought the couch would be free, since they were helping us out to empty the appartment. For the record : in the meantime we had 2 other people interested on Facebook Marketplace, so we definitely did not need the so-called "help". We were simply trying to make them a favor (by going family before marketplace) as she wasnt too happy to spend 8000€ on her dream couch yet.

MIL continued to send rude and senseless text messages, to the point where it made my wife cry. After the kids went to bed, I sat down and tried to call both MIL and FIL bother neither picked up the phone. I sent them a long text message explaining why I thought it would be clear that it's not a free couch and so on. FIL then replied with an even longer text message defending their position and doubling down on calling us "evil" and "selfish". My wife then responded defending our side and herself and now there hasn't been a reply in over 15 hours.

My wife is absolutely destroyed and cannot comprehend why her whole (and very good) relationship with her parents just gets thrown out of the window because of 500€.

For context: MIL and FIL go on many holidays per year, enjoy fancy restaurants on a weekly basis and generally live a pretty good life, so it really makes no sense to us why they cannot simply pay the 500€. We have 2 kids and moved into a new house, we can use pretty much every cent right now. We're not poor but moving always brings up a lot of unplanned costs and the small financial boost could really help right now.

So, AITA for sending the money request?

EDIT: info: the couch is in their house already. I helped them move it 9 floors down from my old appartment and into their transport vehicle. they got rid of their old couch ...

When we met up for coffee in the center, I was with my car. After we finished and walked over to my car, my friend asked if I could drop them off near their house if it’s not out of my way (about 3km out of my way)

I told them that while it was a bit out of my route, I’d still be happy to drive him if buses weren't running at that time because our city has regular, public transport. After that my friend said, "No worries, I'll catch a bus, see you later," and we parted ways. AITA for refusing to drive him if he had buses for 3km out of my way?

update: hey guys, forgot to mention that before going to coffee with friend i was also out for other errands (total of somewhere 7hrs with the coffee) and when he asked me, i was really tired and that’s why I partly declined but still offered if there weren’t buses anytime soon that i’d take him home

I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for over a year. We’re planning a weekend trip to the university he graduated from because he was invited to an alumni dinner, and I’m going as his guest. It’s about a four-hour drive away. I’ve never gone on a trip with a partner before, so I’ve really been looking forward to it.

I still live with my parents and pay rent. My mom has always been strict about what I can and can’t do, and I’ve usually listened to her. This time, though, I told her I was going rather than asking for permission.

She immediately said, “No, you’re not going.” I told her I was and that I was letting her know my plans. She said I was disrespecting her and her rules while living under her roof. I said that I pay rent and that going away for a weekend isn’t something I’m doing in her house.
We kept going back and forth until I asked what she would do if I went anyway. She stayed quiet. I specifically asked whether I should prepare to come back and be kicked out, but she didn’t answer. She hasn’t actually threatened to kick me out, so that’s a fear I have, not something she explicitly said.

The next day, she called me at work and asked when I was going to take a day off. I’ve been working extra hours to make up for the weekend hours I’ll miss, so I said I’d be off that weekend when I went away with my boyfriend. She said, “I told you you’re not going.” I told her I wasn’t going to argue and that I was still going. She said no again, I said yes, and she hung up.

I’m frustrated because I’m 22, almost 23, and I feel like I’m still being treated as a child. I work, pay rent, graduated from college, and plan to go back to school. She often says she can’t trust me, and it hurts because I’m trying to be responsible.

It’s also embarrassing having to tell people I can’t go on trips or do things with them because my mom won’t let me. I want to make plans based on my own schedule, finances, and responsibilities. She’s had the chance to live her life, and I feel like I’m struggling to start living mine.
I’ve been planning to move out around next summer, but I wasn’t financially prepared to do it this soon. If I did get kicked out, I believe I could stay with my boyfriend temporarily until I found somewhere of my own, but that isn’t how I wanted to make that transition.

I think I might be the asshole because I still live in her home, and I told her outright that I was going regardless of what she said. I understand that there are household rules, but I don’t think living at home should mean she gets to decide whether I can go away for a weekend.

AITA for going on the trip despite my mom telling me I’m not allowed?

My cousin (31) has a best friend (35) she’s been very close to for the past few years. I have never met or talk to her friend.

I was talking with my cousin a few days ago, when her best friend became the topic of our conversation. At first, she explained that her friend had recently been hospitalized following a serious accident at home (several members of her family were injured, and there were multiple deaths). She went home but is still undergoing physical therapy. I was of course very sad for her and her family.

After that, we moved on to “lighter” topics, and she told me that her best friend was in a relationship with a man who has a child from a previous relationship, and that she was actively trying to prevent him from seeing his child. Her friend was even resorting to blackmail, saying things like: “If you see your child this weekend, I won’t talk to you for x days/I’ll leave you.”

Anyway, I thought that was awful, and I said something like: “Your best friend is horrible, her boyfriend is a piece of shit for letting that happen, I feel sorry for the poor kid, and honestly, I don’t even know why you hang out with them.” I may have been a little more harsh but that was the gist of it.

My cousin didn’t say anything at the time, but after we parted ways, she contacted me to say that what I said was really mean, that she’d expected my support following her friend’s accident, and now she’s not talking to me anymore.

Did I really say something that offensive? I didn't insult her best friend about her accident (which I sincerely sympathize with), I just feel like the two things have nothing to do with each other.

Ok so I (21F) cooked pasta with anchovies today at home. I have 2 roomates (22F both). One of my roomate came home and immediately smelled the smell of fish and got angry. I had opened all the windows in the appartment but yeah you know i agree it’s a smell you don’t easily get rid off.

She asked me why i had to cook this, i apologized for the smell.

She then complained again at least 5 times in the afternoon, saying she was mad at me. Mind you, we had friends coming over at like 6 pm and i was baking cookies and they all complimented the smell of the cookies.

Like i KNOW it smells bad right? But i don’t cook fish often… i don’t know man.

AITAH?

EDIT INFOS:
-The friends coming over were mine, and hers.
-It was the first time i cooked something like that in a year of living here.

My boss got pregnant and made everyone attend her baby shower by hosting it in the middle of the workday in the office. She also sent an email with the baby registry wish list that said you don't have to buy it but "recommends" you buy something.

I dont think it's fair that she makes 6 figures and most of us make the median USA salary of $59,000 so I didn't buy anything for the baby shower.

AITA?

My (28M) dad (55M) is asking me to attend a funeral that is roughly a 9-hour drive for an aunt (NOT my father's sister, I believe she is a cousin or maybe familt friend) who passed away fairly recently. I was notified a few hours ago (Wednesday evening), and the funeral is Saturday morning.

I already dislike the idea of attending because funerals are difficult for me and I sincerely dislike travel, especially by car. It being such short notice is not the end of the world, but it is frustrating and almost triggering to me because of how admittedly rigid I am with schedules. I would also have to take off work and because I have no PTO left, I would be unpaid.

However, my moral conflict is that this weekend in particular is one in which I planned on celebrating two birthdays that I'd been looking forward to. One because I'm good friends with them, and two because my mental health has been in the toilet (especially due to loneliness) recently and I kind of need the pick me-up that comes with having fun with friends. I have another family event that the following week that I've canceled plans for, too. I'm loathing the fact that my judgement is partially clouded by this.

Additionally, I didn't really know my aunt. I learned her name yesterday, and I know one of her children (who is ~15 years older than me and I haven't seen or spoken to him in over 10 years). So while I recognize that funerals are really for the living, I don't really know any of the living family members. If I go, it would be for my parents, and mainly to help with the drive (though, there is no expectation for me to drive since my dad doesn't mind such drives).

I've offered to send a card with flowers and $, offering my condolences in place of me being there physically, but I can't help but think I'm being impolite and selfish.

For some clarity:

- I wouldn't be the one driving. I'm just being asked to go with. My mom is going with dad, so he's not alone.

- I'm calling her my aunt because she's my dad's cousin/family friend. Not a sister, though I don't actually know what the relationship is. I don't know the widower.

- $ + card because I can afford to alleviate some of her financial stress and I recognize that it has been tough for this couple as they've gotten older

I work in manufacturing in a place called ANCORP in williston fl. in a washing sect of the finishing department . washing metal parts that my department has polished and sand blasted or any thing sent from welders and cnc workers. We use carts for big items or items that can't fit in a bucket or for multiple buckets and I am taught to also have an empty cart or more for items that i have washed or clean. People from other departments many times have had to take my carts and leave me with no cart. So I got fed up and have gotten to the point where i'm placing sticky notes on at least 1 or 2 empty carts that I have available in my station and the sticky note I write "this cart has been reserved for _my first name and last initial _" in permanent marker or in another write "attention !!!" In red permanent marker and declare in black permanent marker "this cart has been reserved" with a cartoon of a rattlesnake in my acknowledgement to the tone of the attention warning that I wrote. My response to people in the factory often leaving me with no cart. And in the factory it seems as if its necessary to be a go getter with grabbing available carts for our work stations.

okay so basically i found phones that were unused it was like a whole box. i texted the guy asking if they were tested or not and they said no, so i asked if any of them are able to turn on and he say yea some then the last thing i asked was could he send some pics of the bundle and so he did.

he told me he would discount for me if i bought it today. The original price was $73.53 and he discounted to $49.02 so i said alright I’ll take it. He sent me his info and i said could u give me a while to transfer the money? He said alright. 30 mins later he comes and texts me, he says if you don’t want it it’s okay cancel the offer and deleted all the photos he sent me.

I then told him no i still want it, it takes me a while to transfer money. And he said okay. As i was busy during that time i had no time transfer. a bit later he came texting me again, saying that if he doesn’t receive the money in 4 hours he’ll wish me joy and to cancel the offer.

and this is where I feel like i might be the asshole, i told him could you wait? ur being very impatient. He got so mad after i said this, he said that i wasted his time and if i didn’t want it I could’ve just cancelled that he said the deal was for today only not tommorow or the deal after and at last he said “understood?” Which pissed me the hell off.

He sent alot of messages like he just kept writing and I just told him “stop yapping, is this ChatGPT?” And he got so mad at this, he started calling me poor and if I was poor I shouldn’t have made an offer and waste his time, he then called me an asshole and to go fck myself.

then he left me a review saying that I was a nuisance that I kept asking questions and asking for pictures and that I wasted his time and said that I was being rude even after he gave a discount. I replied saying “you’re the one who wasted all my time, giving me a time limit to when I should send the money, I said I wanted it already couldn’t you just wait, and some more you’re calling me poor? Thinking I couldn’t afford this? Ur lack of impatience is horrible. I told you give me time as im busy just now, if I haven’t gave the money yet then be patient. as if anyone is interested.”

AITAH?

EDIT: forgot to mention this but a lot of reviews are calling him a scammer and that he’s a rude individual. in one of the reviews he replied to he told them that he hoped they get scammed and that they were annoying. tons of reviews saying he was arrogant, rude and had a bad attitude, that if you found something better and no longer intrested he’ll start swearing at you.

A bit of context. I, (15, almost 16F) have been friends with a girl who I’ll call Amanda for this post. Amanda is a 16F, and this has been a huge stress on my mind.

Amanda and I became friends around May 2026, and she was honestly a really nice friend to me. She was always open and honest, and that’s where I tend to become a bit confused. Recently, Amanda made me join a scout group, and told me it was because she wanted to hang out with me outside of school. I joined, mainly because she had asked me, but also because I wanted to get off my phone and spend time outdoors. As soon as I joined, Amanda started using me as an excuse to not speak to her friends in that group. This was a bit confusing for me, as she had raved about how nice and cool everyone was.

After a few weeks, I finally asked Amanda why she wasn’t speaking to the people in the group anymore, and she told me that a boy in that scouts group had sexually assaulted by putting his hands on her hips. Naturally, I was horrified, and so I didn’t ask any more questions. However, another girl from this scouts group had started asking me questions about why Amanda hadn’t been talking to her. Pressure built up on me, and I eventually broke and told the girl (I’ll call her Amy) what I’d been told by Amanda. Amy was shocked, and then she told me that she knew what had actually happened. According to the Amy and the boy who’d been accused, Amanda had been forcefully trying to push the boy into water, and he’d put his hands on her hips to move her aside. The three of us were all upset, however, Amy took it a step further and began messaging Amanda, swearing at her and telling her she shouldn’t be making up false accusations like that, as they’re extremely serious. I do not condone the swearing, as I wasn’t aware what was being said at the time, but I do condone the scolding.

Amanda began to panic, and she and another girl (I’ll call this girl Lindsey) began to distance themselves from our friends. After a while, Lindsey began trying to be very nice with me, but in a sort of fake way, I’d say. Then she told me that Amanda wanted to talk to me, and that she’d be joining us in the conversation. Amanda did eventually pull me aside, but I refused to have Lindsey there, as I knew they’d try to accuse me of telling. The conversation was a brief summary about how horrible it was for her, and how, according to her, she was innocent because it was her ‘right to be upset’ however I don’t think it was her right to accuse someone of SA. They didn’t know who told the girl, because I asked Amy to keep it a secret because I didn’t want to be verbally abused over something that was serious. And I don’t know if anyone else will agree, but the weight of being told something like that is extremely intense for a teenager. So while I should’ve taken it to an appropriate adult, I had the feeling that the boy had the right to know what she was accusing him of behind his back.

But for the past few weeks, I think Amanda has been suspicious that it was me who told, she doesn’t have any evidence though. So, AITAH for ultimately telling someone about the SA allegations my friend created, which led to her being in trouble?

\Small note: Amanda has since gone to the police about this, and now the boy is facing a lot of stress. According to the boy, the police won’t listen to his side of the story, and Amanda is now making all of my friends in that group avoid me. I had a recent encounter where she led them to walk away and ignore me, although I’ve tried to reach out to talk about it with most of the girls who are now ignoring/avoiding me.*

I, a (40f) mom of 3, have been running a small but steadily growing playgroup for about 3 years, since my oldest kid was 2. A bit of background: We are American expats who live in a foreign country that happens to be a desirable medium-to-long term destination for other traveling families or families looking to relocate to that particular country. The native language of the country isn’t English, and it’s difficult to learn, despite the fact that there is some level of basic English proficiency everywhere. Like us, most of the families who join us are homeschoolers or “worldschoolers” (families who travel together long term as a lifestyle), or families looking to relocate from their home countries to our city and are scouting it out. The families that join us find great relief in the meetups because it can be really hard to meet other native English speaking families abroad, and their kids basically get access to an instant pool of friends who share their language, for as long as they choose to stay there. Anybody can join the Facebook group and I’m very welcoming to new families. The playgroup is understood as being for kids 0 through about 6, though I’ve never set formal rules or an age limit. I’ve hosted the meetups twice a week, every week for 3 years. I’m not getting paid for it, and frequently spend my own money on craft supplies and activities for the kids. I started it, simply, because we were homeschoolers and I knew my kids needed friends.

A few months ago, a new family joined us. Charlotte (27f), has 3 kids, and her and her family had recently relocated to our city. They didn’t know anyone so like other families they were very glad to join and quickly started attending each meetup. Almost as quickly, her son (7m), let’s call him Jax, started getting into trouble. My eldest son, Drew (4 then, now 5) started to have run-ins with Jax. Now my son is a sweet kid, but like many almost 5 year olds, has big emotions and can be reactive especially if provoked. I started noticing Jax picking on Drew almost right away. Jax, by the way, is a smart, confident kid with a commanding personality, and I noticed the younger ones would kind of do what he said. He kind of has big CEO energy, if you know what I mean.

Well, Jax started telling the other kids to pick on Drew, and leave him out of games. Drew likes to collect rocks and flowers and make piles when he plays by himself. Jax came over and kicked over the piles. There was an incident where Drew was climbing a playground ladder, and another parent saw Jax try to push him off (he could have really been hurt) Jax randomly threw leaves in his face, tried to slug him a few times, and called him names. Drew, predictably, reacted strongly to getting picked on. He had a few meltdowns, went red with fury, and threw rocks in retaliation once. Eventually, Drew started to get anxious on the way to meetups. He’d ask if Jax was going to be there, and stay quiet when I said yes.

Before long, I started noticing grumbles among other parents, too. Jax kicked sand in a two year old’s face. Jax tackled another boy and made him fall down. One particularly bad meetup, a pair of friendly kittens was hanging around the park. Jax picked up a kitten and kicked it into a bush. He told the other kids to help him squish butterflies. One parent overheard him talking smack about her son, confronted him, only for Jax to smoothly lie to her face about what he was talking about.

Charlotte, his mom, seemed to be aware her son was misbehaving. She’d jokingly say things like “yeah, you don’t want my kid.” When another parent would tell her something he did, she’d go talk to him privately, then he’d run off again. In our group, it’s common for other parents to step in when there was a problem among kids, even if it’s not their kid (village justice/mediation), which I’m totally fine with. Charlotte had an issue with this, and asked me to tell the other parents to come directly to her when he did something bad because “Jax was scared of strangers” (this all happened within the first month or their arrival). Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, I tried to accommodate her, but the end result was that he’d do something bad, me or the parent would try to get his mom, and Jax would run away. Btw Charlotte does also come to meetups with a 3 year old and a 1 year old, so she undoubtedly has her hands full.

After the kitten incident, a few parents came to me directly and we started to talk about Jax openly. One told me she’s got ‘spidey senses’ about Jax, and doesn’t want her daughter playing alone with him. Another said her son was becoming anxious on the way to meetups too. I started noticing that some of our regulars weren’t coming, and confirmed through another mom they were avoiding Jax.

By this time, I was so stressed out with the situation, (I was also 6 weeks postpartum with my 3rd) I decided to tell Charlotte she couldn’t bring him anymore. I called her, despite being a very non-confrontional person, and tried to explain it wasn’t working out. I was nervous on the call. I’ve never had to kick anyone out of anything before. I felt bad for her. She’d said multiple times how good the group had been for them and I knew I was about to separate kids in a new country from their new friends.

She didn’t take it well. She thought me asking them to leave was unfair, and seemed surprised when I listed the dossier of evidence against him. She argued that nobody had told her he did most of those things, so she didn’t have a chance to correct him. She accused me of criticizing her parenting, because I said Jax’s behavior wasn’t being managed properly. Which is true: If it were it my kid, and I knew him capable of pulling this shit, I’d follow him around every meetup and make him behave, and if he didn’t, I’d take him home.

In the end she asked for another shot, which I gave her because I felt bad. I asked her to take a break from the group for two weeks so things could cool down. When they returned, I texted her a list of rules Jax had to follow: basically all of the common sense no bullying stuff.

To my surprise, things were a lot better that week (two meetups). Jax seemed to be much better behaved and Charlotte, for her part, followed him around and intervened in minor incidents quickly. There are a couple of other kids who really like Jax and had fun playing with him. Even Drew, at the end of that second meetup seemed pleased: “Jax is nice to me now.” But, I still had the problem that the other kids and parents, myself included, were apprehensive about him and didn’t trust him.

I told Charlotte the following Sunday that I was willing to give him another shot, with a trial period. If Jax could behave as well as he did that week for the next 3 weeks (6 playgroup sessions), and the temperature of the group seemed relaxed and trustful towards him, he could stay, but that ultimately it still might not work out and if at the end things were still not feeling right, I reserved the right to ask him to leave permanently.

Charlotte got defensive again. She said her son played very nicely the past week and she didn’t want to subject him to an extended probation with no guarantees he’d have his friends at the end of it. She thought I was imposing special rules and scrutiny on him I wasn’t imposing on other boys, who also ‘have challenging moments’. She questioned my authority to put him on probation at all, saying she understood my role to just be that of ‘location coordinator’. (One of the things I do is pick the hangout spots every week) And the kicker: she told me they intend to keep coming “with the same expectations as everyone else”.

So, I kicked her out of the Facebook group and the associated WhatsApp group. I sent her a brief message to the effect of “it’s my group I can do whatever I want, bye,” And blocked her.

Mostly I think I was pretty generous to her and reasonable. There was clearly a problem and I had to do something about it, and was within my rights to kick her out of the group I started. But here’s where I might’ve been assholish:

Quite a few times when there was a problem with her kid at the group, I didn’t tell her, partly because I had my hands full with my own kids, and partly because I was resentful I had to follow her son around to make sure no one was getting bullied, while she sat with the little ones and chatted with other moms.

I could’ve been more mature after her last message, rather than booting her and calling it a day, especially since she’s got two younger kids who did nothing wrong and also benefitted from the group. But I was tired of the stress (I LITERALLY have a two month old), wary of having to be vigilant for the next 3 weeks, and pissed at her disrespect.

Maybe I could’ve gritted my teeth, sucked up the disrespect, and given Charlotte a “take it or leave it” last chance for the sake of Jax, who I recently learned was only half brother to the little ones, and who was recently separated from his real dad and moved to another country, and who did seem to have improved after I laid down the law.

So now Charlotte has to find a new place for her kids to socialize, in a place where I’ve built not the only (but probably the best) playgroup for homeschoolers in our little expat community. AITAH?

TLDR: A badly behaved 7-year old was ruining play for other children at my playgroup. I gave his mom chances to fix it. I set conditions for him to return permanently, which she disrespectfully rebuffed, so I kicked her out.

I (40f) was with my ex (51m) for almost 10 years. I have a hard time describing the relationship because it wasn't a traditional relationship. Unlabeled (not either of our things) but exclusive. We never lived together, and never joined finances. He never met my family (for very specific reasons that arent important here). I met his mom and (adult) daughter a couple times but didn't really have a relationship with them. Great people, just involving families was not the kind of relationship he and I wanted.

Let me preface this with: I know. I'm stupid for loaning money. Im not here to find out if I'm an idiot for loaning money. I already know I am. I'm also not here for judgments on my relationship - it worked for us (until it didn't and we broke up). I'm only here to figure out if my plan to recover the money he owes me makes me TAH.

Some helpful background for why I am in the position I am. A few years into the relationship (around 2018), he had some major car repairs he couldn't afford, so i loaned him money for the repairs. No written agreement or anything. Just a handshake agreement and trust. I never mentioned it again and he paid me back in full several months later. No problems.

In January 2024, his daughter was trying to get out of an abusive relationship and needed a new apartment quick. They didn't have money for a deposit. So I loaned him the money. In January 2025, he had an unexpected temporary layoff and needed help to get through the next couple months. So i loaned him a bit more. He acknowledged he still owed me the money from 2024 and promised once his house sold he would pay me back.

In August 2025, I found out his house had sold in June but he hid it from me. He also hid a bunch of other stuff from me. By December 2025 I was tired of his BS and decided the relationship had run its course. He told me he would get a second job after the new year so he could repay me in early 2026. I didnt want to be unreasonable and demand payment before the holdiays or anything, so I said that was fine.

Then in February 2026, I texted him to ask about the status. He kept giving excuses. Saying he didnt have the full amount right then. I said it was fine - he could do payments like a couple hundred dollars a month until it was paid. He just wanted to do the full amount and get it done all at once. So I gave grace. March, more excuses. April more excuses. May he ignores me until I threatened to take him to court. Then he said he would pay July 15.

July 15 comes and goes; nothing. I reach out a week after, and it's more excuses, just needs another couple months. He has now "promised" that payments will start the end of this month. I only got that promise by saying if he didn't arrange a concrete payment plan, I would file the lawsuit the next day.

In the meantime, I found out he went on multiple trips over the last several months - and not cheap ones. Napa Valley, world cup in Dallas, Daytona Beach, an Usher concert 4 hours from home, and he is currently on a Caribbean cruise! This man has been crying about not having any money to pay me while living his best life on my money. Any one of those trips probably could have covered the amount he owes me.

I absolutely can file suit if he doesn't pay this month, but I really don't want to. In my state, all court records are readily available to the public (like can just go on the website and download it without even logging in or paying anything). I work in the legal field so I personally know almost all the judges in my county, and I really dont want to go in front of them if I can avoid it. So if he doesnt pay me in two weeks like he promised (although clearly he isn't actually trustworthy so I'm not expecting he will actually pay now), I was considering contacting his mom just to see if maybe a little encouragement from her might get him to pay without having to go to court. I only hesitate about because I wasn't ever close with her and at this point, it's been a couple years since I've even seen her. So it feels a little weird and "tattling". But he's clearly been stringing me along and being less than open and honest with me about things.

So, WIBTAH if I sent a letter or called my ex's mom to encourage him to repay me (not to get her to pay me)?

I (25F) lost my mother when I was five, and I don't know who my father is. I was raised by my maternal grandmother, and I lived with her and my mother before my mother passed away.

I've been living at home for most of this year after studying away from home. I contribute financially to the household, but I've also been working towards moving out and becoming independent.

Lately, I've been seriously considering cutting my grandmother out of my life because I feel that our relationship has become toxic. However, I feel guilty because she raised me after my mother died, and I don't know whether I'm being ungrateful or justified in wanting to walk away.

For context, there have been incidents throughout my life that have affected how I feel about her.

Growing up, I would ask my grandmother about my father's identity, and she would tell me she didn't know. When I was around 10, she suggested that I write to a television show that helps people find lost relatives so they could help me find him. Looking back, I find this insensitive to say to a child who had already lost her mother and was growing up without knowing her father. I understand that she might have been trying to help, but the memory has stayed with me.

Another incident happened when I was 18. I found my mother's former boyfriend and wanted to establish whether he might be my biological father, so I asked about doing a DNA test. My grandmother responded by saying that it wasn't her fault my mother was promiscuous and that her decision to raise me was a favour.

That comment hurt me deeply. I understand that raising me was a responsibility she took on, and I appreciate that she provided a home for me. However, I sometimes feel as though she uses the fact that she raised me as a reason I should tolerate things that otherwise wouldn't be acceptable.

There have been other incidents over the years, but I'll focus on what's happening now.

My grandmother has a habit of getting into debt, and I often end up taking on more financial responsibility than I anticipated. She also lies to me about things, which has affected my trust in her.

Recently, she had renovations done. I anticipated that she would need a new oven, so I offered to buy one for her because I didn't want her to go into further debt. Shortly afterwards, she decided to buy additional furniture on credit. The repayments are now eating into the household's food budget, meaning I may have to contribute more money again.

A few months ago, she made a comment that my money is our money. I found this concerning because I'm trying to save up to move out, and I don't believe that contributing to the household means I'm obligated to take responsibility for her financial decisions.

Yesterday, I offered to lend her some money but explained that she would need to pay me back because I would need the money myself. She responded by asking whether I ever pay her back. For context, the one time I borrowed money from her, I repaid her.

Because of her debts, she hasn't been buying much food. Last night, she made extra food for supper, and today I asked whether we could have the leftovers for lunch. She asked me when I had ever eaten that particular food before. I explained that there wasn't much food available and that I was willing to eat whatever we had. She still didn't want me to eat the leftovers.

I know the food incident might sound minor, but it bothered me in the context of everything else. I contribute to the household, try to help financially, and am working towards independence, yet I feel that my needs are often disregarded while I'm expected to help resolve problems I didn't create.

The more I think about our relationship, the more I wonder whether I actually want her in my life once I move out. Part of me wants to cut contact completely because I'm tired of feeling guilty, financially responsible, and hurt by someone who is supposed to be family.

The other part of me feels guilty because she raised me. I know that she made sacrifices, and I sometimes wonder whether wanting to walk away means I'm failing to appreciate everything she did for me.

I also worry that I'm making this decision based on resentment rather than looking at the situation objectively. I don't want to be unfair to her, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life in a relationship that makes me unhappy simply because I feel indebted to her.

So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to cut my grandmother out of my life, despite the fact that she raised me after my mother died?

Am I being ungrateful for considering going no-contact with someone who took responsibility for me, or is it reasonable to decide that the history we share doesn't obligate me to maintain a relationship that I no longer feel is healthy?