This is the Vintage Tarot deck, a version of the Ryder Waite tarot deck that I think can be found just about anywhere
Background: My boyfriend (Kasey) is a divorcee who shares three children under the age of five with his ex wife (Sandy). They got divorced about a year ago and I got together with him several months after that. She has sole custody of the children and he has visits with them once a month. At his most recent visit he told me that there was a man (Jason) accompanying Sandy who informed Kasey that he would be coming to all the visits going forward. Kasey texted Sandy about it after the visit and said that he didn’t feel that it was fair for her to bring a plus one to his visits and also that it was infringing on his ability to spend time with the children and she basically told him “tough”.
Well now, a couple of weeks later Sandy informs my boyfriend that she and Jason are actually married and have moved to a nearby town where Jason works and owns a home. She indicated that the visits would be throttled back even more than they have been due to them now being in a different town. She also told my boyfriend that she wants him to allow Jason to adopt the children and be their legal father. My boyfriend is completely blown away by this news as they have not been divorced for very long and he had no idea that she was even dating anybody seriously, let alone engaged or married. She refuses to answer any questions about the situation and told him she will give him some time to deliberate but then expects an answer about the adoption query. I decided to do a spread to try and find out at least some of the energy surrounding this and where it’s coming from but I am a total newbie at tarot readings done myself and really welcome any and all input that might help direct and educate me. Thank you in advance for your help it is really and truly, deeply appreciated.
Why did Sandy enter into this marriage with Jason?
Answer: Six of Cups reversed
The first thing I always think of when I see this card is children. So when I saw this card reversed I took it to mean that her primary concern was the children and a lack of stability in their lives- the card seemed to me to show the children’s environment and lives being literally turned upside down. She moved back in with her parents after the divorce and continued to live there until she moved in with her new husband, so it makes sense to me that she would be motivated to remarry by the idea of being able to resurrect that old stability and constant presence of a father figure that they had before the divorce.
Why motivated Jason to enter into the marriage with Sandy?
Answer: eight of swords reversed
This also makes a lot of sense to me. Evidently Jason is a widower- his first wife was driving with him in a car, they got into an accident and she was tragically killed. It’s even possible that she was pregnant when she died- when my boyfriend asked Jason if he had children, Jason gave him a weird, cryptic answer, something like “not here now”. So my boyfriend thinks they might have been expecting. Even if she wasn’t, this card to me implies that he jumped into the marriage with Sandy because it freed him from the prison of his mind, ruminating about his wife’s death. He was afraid of being alone and he saw this marriage as an escape out of his thoughts and his past
How long did Jason and Sandy know each other/date?
Answer: chariot reversed with the five of cups upright as a clarifying card
When I first drew the chariot reversed I was like “wtf?” Because it seems to me that their relationship was anything but delayed. However, after drawing the five of cups as a clarifying card I felt like I understood better. First of all I take the relationship as between two to five months in duration (I read online that Mercury rules the fives and Mercury also rules the period of two months). Either way we are talking about months and not years (my boyfriend told me has been entertaining the possibility that she was seeing this guy before they were divorced due to the speed of the remarriage). I also noticed the black cloak of the five of cups and was reminded of mourning clothes. The guy is staring at the three overturned cups. So i took it to mean that if the relationship was five months that Sandy was mourning the death of her first marriage for three of those five months. This made the reversed chariot make more sense- the delay would be her having not properly processed her divorce and he his wife’s death. Only two of the hypothetical months were spent actually building a relationship together. I also feel that their motivations are shown here- there is no “forward motion” so to speak. Both of them are running away from their past and not into their future if that makes sense. They’re not choosing each other they are trying to claw their way out of old lives that make them uncomfortable
How does Sandy feel about Kasey?
Answer: the Lovers
So im ngl I was quite gagged when I pulled this card for this question. Their divorce sounded quite acrimonious and from what I have observed, Sandy seems to definitely not have any warm fuzzy feelings for Kasey. She’s not downright horrible but she does seem to really enjoy getting her hooks in Kasey whenever she can and wielding what power she has to try to hurt him. So I didn’t know what to think of this at all. I did some research and believe that the card might relate to the older meaning of “the choice” that was used before the Ryder Waite reinterpretation of the Lover card. She was the one who filed for divorce and I think that she might be reflecting on having made that decision and whether it was for better or for worse. Is it possible that this card
mean that she regrets having filed? I do think that she saw Kasey as her true partner and believed that they would be together forever. I think it’s interesting and I wonder if her second marriage has caused her to think about Kasey and kind of realize that what they had might have been special. Going off of the reversed six of cups it seems like she wanted to bring back that security and safety that she experienced in the past and that was why she got married again, but she might be realizing that she won’t be able to replicate her bond and emotional reciprocity with Kasey so easily. Is it also possible that this could somehow be reflecting the choice of her second marriage and showing that she regrets that?
Why is Sandy pushing for Kasey to allow Jason to adopt the children?
Answer: knight of swords upright
Sandy is coming at this as a battle that is to be won. She doesn’t want to negotiate with Kasey and she thinks that taking the logical angle of “it’s what’s best for the kids! This is what makes sense!” Will help her win. I see the horse as trampling the feelings of Kasey underfoot and I see how the knight is charging towards the lovers card to strike them down. It hurts her to see Kasey because their bond was deep. She doesn’t want to have to deal with those feelings anymore and if she cuts him off from the children then she doesn’t have to. She mistakenly thinks that charging in and doing this will free her from the negative energy the failed relationship has created in her. She hides behind the children’s welfare but really this is about her desire to be rid of Kasey and make a new identity for herself as Jason’s wife
Do Sandy and Jason love each other?
Answer: seven of swords upright
This card I believe speaks to the impulsiveness and the secrecy of their marriage, the fact that they hid it from Kasey until it was already done. My boyfriend told me that Sandy is cautious to a fault, with a backup plan on top of the first backup plan. I dont see it, at least not in this instance- I see recklessness and that both of them got married to basically a stranger. I think it speaks to them not showing one another their true selves. I don’t know that this is necessarily malicious (maybe it is, idk)- I think both of them have not processed the trauma of their respective situations at all and so their new partner is seeing the fragments of who they are in the wake of their heartbreak. I think this card speaks more strongly about Sandy than it does about Jason (idk why). I think she is engaging in self deception and telling herself she’s ready to move on, she’s committed fully to Jason, she loves him, etc.
She hasn’t processed the wound of the failed first marriage at all- it is still alive in her so to speak. She got remarried for strategic reasons and she has not been emotionally vulnerable at all. My boyfriend keeps telling me that she is “so cold” and totally different than she was when they were married.
Will this marriage last?
Answer: page of wands reversed
I think they had a genuine spark that got their relationship going but they don’t have any real connection to keep the fire burning. Both of them are going to move out of the fog of what they are going through mentally and have a hard time because their relationship was not founded on intimacy, vulnerability or trust. The marriage will die if they can’t find new ground to support it
What does her family think of her getting married to Jason?
Answer: two of cups upright
I am a little bit gobsmacked that her family could be so naive as to believe that it is a good idea for her to get married to a guy she just met while she is still reeling from a divorce, but there you are. The two of cups to me shows that her family thought that they were a great match because their lives mirrored in going through the loss of a spouse while still young (Jason’s wife died right around the time Kasey and Sandy were going thru their divorce). Her family thinks that they will grow into the lovers, that they are off to the races. I think this refers back to the seven of swords card- i don’t think she has told anyone how she really feels about things, so her family thinks everything is wonderful even though she barely knows this guy and is still deeply hung up on her ex husband. It seems to me like Kasey is the one she really loves, not Jason. I also wonder if the timeline accelerated so quickly to marriage because of pressure from the family because they saw the partnership as being so ideal, which refers back to the reversed chariot and the possible interpretation that Sandy (and maybe Jason too?) felt like the situation was not being steered by them?
