Let me tell you why.
I have a cousin who is already in a relationship. Even her parents know about it, but they couldn't care less and straight up told her, "You're going to marry a guy whom we choose." My cousin is against it, but they've already started looking for alliances and all that. My cousin's parents are at our house most of the time, and at least three times a day, they make calls asking about potential alliances.
The questions are really weird. They start with normal questions like what they do and their age, then move on to what their parents do. After that, it only gets worse. They ask how many houses, lands, and cars they own, how many pounds of gold you're going to give your daughter, and many other weird questions. Like, idk, is this shit normal?
After the call, if both parties agree, they ask the parents to exchange photos of their children.
In this situation, my cousin's father didn't have a good photo of her, so he called her while she was at work and forced her to send one. He refused to hang up until she sent it. Eventually, he convinced my cousin to send him her photos after promising that he wouldn't share them with anyone. So, you know what happened eventually? He did the exact opposite . He also got a photo of the guy, and that weekend, when my cousin returned home from work, he literally showed her the guy's photo and started showing off, telling her about him. But she refused again and was furious that he had sent her photo to someone without her permission. He then proceeded to tell her how the guy was fairer than her and asked her what more she could possibly want. My cousin walked away in anger, and you know what's ironic? Her father is dark skinned himself.
That's the mentality I hate about arranged marriages. My cousin's father is the rudest and most inhuman person I've ever seen. He never stops whining and even beats my cousin's mother. It has happened thrice, as far as I know, over the years. And the irony is that my cousin's mother is one of the sweetest souls I've ever met, only to end up with a man like him. Sometimes, she even says that she regrets marrying him, although she doesn't say it directly. She has also told us how her husband was looking for a fair skinned girl to marry, and I honestly think that might be one of the reasons or the only reason that he married my cousin's mother. He even tells her to lose weight sometimes because she's getting fat.
Many people argue that arranged marriages have a lower probability of ending in divorce. That happens not because the couples love each other so deep they end up solving the problem it's because they live with it and don't wanna disappoint their parents or face society's judgment if they get divorced. But honestly, I feel like a lot of men (NOT ALL!!!) Whoever goes through arranged marriages can be extremely misogynistic. Some of them barely know how to talk to women or behave around them, and the same can go the other way, too.
I hate the fact that it's forced. I hate the fact that it's casteist. I hate the fact that it's racist and toxic. I hate the thought that I might end up marrying someone I'll regret spending the rest of my life with. I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than be somebody's someone.
Sorry if I've offended anyone. I genuinely didn't mean to. And I'm happy for those who have truly found the love of their lives through arranged marriages. Have a nice day, brothers and sisters! Your opinion guys?
