r/screenshots • u/OnlineTextBasedRP • Mar 13 '26
Humor Mad Mugging NSFW
Boyfriend loses his mind over stuff like this almost every day.
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u/SATerp Mar 13 '26
Stop even touching their stuff, they can be responsible for their own shit. Then leave them, divorce them, whatever - you don't need that treatment.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
This is what I am going to do. I am no longer going to touch anything of his and let him deal with it again all as his own. I'm moving out to create distance in hopes it will bring perspective.
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u/SatsumaOranges Mar 13 '26
It won't. If this person changes, it will to bring you back and they will start the behaviour over again. The fact that this person reminds you of your mother's abusive behaviour is a good indication you may want to discuss this with a therapist.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I firmly believe everyone is capable of positive development given the proper conditions. I myself have changed over the decades, and have been allowed the grace to do so.
Who am I, if I am capable, not to offer grace to others for the same opportunity, regardless of where they begin their journey?
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u/SatsumaOranges Mar 13 '26
There's a big difference between offering grace and letting someone abuse you. You are sacrificing your wellbeing to enable this behaviour.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I know how I feel about myself, and I know my truth.
No one but I can know these things, for only I am in my mind living in the world through my perspective.
Those are words on a screen. They are no more abusive than reading a book with the same words.
Should he say the same words to me in person, it would be a different conversation.
And even when I have been disparaged IRL, I respond more with curiosity than anything, because it's not personal. It literally can't be, because that person is experiencing their reality through their own biased perspective.
A person can say, you made me mad about this thing.
No, that's impossible. What really happens is a person allows the other person to hit the anger button in their own mind. Gave them control of the car of their body, if you will.
I don't give anyone control of my body. It's my body, I'm responsible for it, and I will feel how I want by feeding emotions I want to feel. If I don't want to feel hurt or anger past the initial push, I don't feed it. I cut off the flow of fuel to the fire and redirect it to more productive thoughts. Like, wow that hurt my feelings or made me mad? Why did that happen? Is it because I don't like the implied truth? What's the implied truth? Is it a falsehood? Do I want it to be true? Do I want it to be false? What do I need to change to align my reality with what I want?
Etc etc.
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u/SatsumaOranges Mar 13 '26
This is sad. Your attempt to depersonalize this and turn it about your thoughts and behaviour instead of theirs is just allowing this person to continue their gross actions. Obviously you won't be persuaded, and that's fine. But there is a reason everyone in this thread is concerned about your well being.
As I said, there is a big difference between a person who is making efforts to improve themselves, but has a bad day and says hurtful things and a person who makes no effort at all. If you call it to their attention and they apologize and redouble their efforts to improve, that is where you can give them grace. If they double down and accuse you of being the problem, they learn nothing and you're not giving them grace, you are being a fool.
I wish you well in the future, but I suspect you won't make any progress with this individual.
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u/JoeyDJ7 Mar 14 '26
Jesus Christ. Just move on and find somebody who isn't so verbally abusive. This is insane, I was very shocked realising this was your BOYFRIEND you were talking to!
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u/No_Aardvark7481 Mar 13 '26
But you said it doesn't bother you. So why are you moving out?
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
To provide perspective and save money.
I hope distance can provide space for rumination on his part, and it's going to save me about $800 a month.
It bothers me an atomically low amount, but I have a decent regen for patience and coping.
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u/jerrytjohn Mar 13 '26
I'm with him. You're acting like a child with zero courtesy. You should break up with him for his sake.
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u/Pepsicola2016 Mar 13 '26
I thought this was your roommate and was very amused--BOYFRIEND?? Why would you let someone treat you like that over anything :(
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
It doesn't bother me, as you can see. Epistemically (I think that's the right word), I understand him better than he does.
The nervous system still takes a hit sometimes, so I go to a sauna for 24 hours for some me time.
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u/CalbertCorpse Mar 13 '26
You are in deep, deep denial. Ask me how I know.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
Lol no I just have a vastly different perspective on the human experience than the majority.
I'm fully aware of the level of disrespect, wrath, and excitement present in direct correlation to the size of the infraction.
It's completely irrational and uncalled for.
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u/jooferdoot Mar 13 '26
So you are aware that this is completely irrational and uncalled for and you're just okay with that?
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
For now, yes.
I don't know if you are aware of the concept of self-sabotage? When things are going good, too good even, a person might get scared and do something terrible to mess it up, because at least the misery and loneliness is comfortable. Especially if a person has lived there for many years.
I have my limits and I monitor carefully. It's more fascinating than anything, that he reacts in such a way. I wonder what sort of thoughts are going through his mind when he does such things. I know his impulse control is completely messed up, as most people can take a deep breath before they allow themselves to get to the point where they send the messages.
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u/CalbertCorpse Mar 14 '26
That’s…. Called denial. Even if you think you “see” it. Jesus, just look it up.
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u/CalbertCorpse Mar 13 '26
That’s… that’s exactly what a person in denial would say.
Try: “hmmm. Not sure I agree but you have some experience I don’t want to discount entirely, so maybe I’ll look into it.”
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean by the second part of your comment. Could you clarify for me please?
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u/Pepsicola2016 Mar 13 '26
Mmmm, okay im glad you are still taking time to nurture your mental health. How much of your relationship do you feel like is spent attempting to "fix" him? You seem to really engage him from a psychological lens.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I do my best to simply disengage when it becomes irrational because I don't want to fall into the trap.
I engage with the entire world from a psychological lens. One of my earliest memories was my mother screaming at me about something insignificant and I was more curious than anything as to what set her off internally to such a degree.
And I wonder why it took me so long to realize I might possibly may be AuDHD, and even longer to confirm the diagnosis, lol.
Every interaction I have ever had always involved calculating responses based on my tactical analysis of the situation, the known variables, and a wide swath of unknowns for which I can't possibly account.
I can't help it - it's who I am.
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u/tedx432 Mar 14 '26
You’re over-intellectualizing your experience in order to maintain emotional distance. This hurts you and is sending your nervous system to shit. We accept the love we think we deserve.
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u/Fuj_san9247 Mar 14 '26
Agreed. OP, you can meticulously reflect and examine your personal management of the dynamic you’re in, but I’m sorry- no amount of pseudo-regulation you do will ever compete with the absolute homeostasis that your nervous system would be at without this person.
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u/jojopotattoo Mar 14 '26
I side with him. If you're using his stuff then hand wash it and put it back where you got it so he has it to use when he needs it, not whenever the dishwasher is full enough to warrant running it. Or better yet, get your own mugs and things so you don't even have to use his?? I would be fed up too, it sounds like you do it intentionally to press his buttons and make every little thing inconvenient for him.
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u/fluffycatscrote Mar 13 '26
Jesus Murphy! Does he even like you? Stupid jerk. Him, not you.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I wonder sometimes. When his anxiety demon isn't making him lose his mind, he behaves as such.
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u/jazbaby25 Mar 13 '26
Anxiety doesn't make you treat someone like this. I have terrible anxiety, and I don't treat my partner like this, even when they've moved something.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
Your experience with anxiety is this singular experience. His has a mixture of anger as well, which is probably the primary difference.
His anxiety doesn't even let him leave the house outside of work. It's a battle, to be sure. I hope having someone to lean on will make it easier to win.
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u/Bigtittygothgfxo Mar 13 '26
I would’ve smashed the mug tbh. He sounds like a nightmare & you shouldn’t put up with being treated this way.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
It's a metal mug. He is a handful, and I shouldn't, but the world is rarely the way it should be, no?
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u/Bigtittygothgfxo Mar 13 '26
The world not being how it should is out of your hands. The treatment you accept isn’t.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
True, except I have my honor to consider. I made a commitment to give this my all (while still maintaining my health in the four spheres of being), and I'm still doing well.
Sticks and stones have not been thrown, and words I don't believe can't hurt me.
It reveals far more about him than me.
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u/Bigtittygothgfxo Mar 13 '26
Who are you trying to convince? How he speaks to you isn’t okay but we accept the treatment we think we deserve…
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 31 '26
I wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about this part of what you said:
but we accept the treatment we think we deserve…
I realized it's something I've heard my whole life, and didn't think about for myself until you brought it up again. I asked myself why, and realized that for me, it doesn't land as it does for most.
I deserve to be treated the way that I treat others. That's the hard equation. However, I have yet to meet another person capable of treating me the way I feel I deserve to be treated.
Not even my best friend, who has known me since we were pre-teens, has the same level of patience, grace, and ability to make space in nonjudgment that I have for everyone.
How I treat others is how I deserve to be treated.
If I only accepted behavior of that caliber...I would never interact with anyone. And that is a boring and lonely state of existence.
So, I accept the behavior I can endure.
Minor discomfort, inconvenience, and irritation happens in varying levels of magnitude with every interaction I have with everyone, and that's ok. That's literally life and evolution. It's absolutely necessary to create friction and tension to produce the environment for development and change.
The verbal/textual expression of others passionately emphasizing their particular needs is irritating, sure...but temporary, and hardly actually harmful if a person knows their truth. Once those needs are met, the irritation is soothed and does not need to express again.
I internalize nothing anyone says about me, because no one knows me like I do. It is nearly impossible for anyone outside my perspective to know what I've been through, how my thoughts process, how I cope, and my biases, because I'm me and others are themselves.
I have such peace from my light and truth that yes, I think this is funny because of the extreme over reaction. I still inhabit a physical body with a nervous system, however, so I need to maintain a systems equilibrium in that regard, and I do.
I reach baseline serenity, and I'm good to interact with humanity once again.
I think, because of this, it allows others to grow and find their own peace.
I haven't had an interaction like this with my boyfriend in two weeks. He's managed to process what I view as those aforementioned by-products of reality at a much better rate. I did nothing to fix him, I just don't take it personally, and provide the space and grace I feel I deserve from others, even if no one is ever going to be capable of providing it.
I endure the behavior, because I have to accept behavior for human interactions.
Thank you very much for reminding me of this idiom and giving me some introspection pathways I hadn't yet explored.
Have a great day!
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I am not trying to convince anyone. I was merely explaining my thought process to you.
> How he speaks to you isn’t okay but we accept the treatment we think we deserve…
This is thought provoking. I'm going to ponder this. Thank you.
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u/Let_me_crypto Mar 13 '26
I hope you’re safe and doing fine.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I am, thank you. I take nothing personally because it's nearly impossible for me to do so at this point in my spiritual journey with my level of mental fortification and degree of emotional resilience.
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u/Let_me_crypto Mar 13 '26
I sincerely appreciate and applaud the level of calm and respect with which you even responded to the texts. Kudos to you!
But it can only go on for so long, it would have a very deep effect on your mental health too.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I agree! I have set for myself both a temporal limit of endurance and an energy bandwidth minimum. Should I hit either of those, I'm out.
I have to track daily because my capacity for bullshit is astronomically high due to my insatiable curiosity of the mechanisms of the mind.
Fortunately, I don't internalize anything he says, because that's bullshit. I know my truth, who I am and all that of which I am capable.
As Marianne Williamson said, We are powerful beyond measure.
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u/sweetbeards Mar 13 '26
That is definitely narcissistic behavior - I would get out of that relationship ASAP - no joke. It will get worse
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I can see how it would be seen as such. It's just extremely high anxiety and a lack of perspective.
It's actually gotten better!
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u/sweetbeards Mar 13 '26
You’re in denial - narcissists do not get better. They are always high anxiety because they live in fear of being found out that they are not who you think they are. Do research, narcissism isn’t what you think it is
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u/SeawardFriend Mar 13 '26
This has gotta be bait…
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u/Jack_of_Hearts20 Mar 13 '26
Apparently not. She's is going to bat for him in her other responses
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u/SeawardFriend Mar 14 '26
Lmao. I wouldn’t talk to my worst enemy that way, much less my gf. Tf are people on these days?
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u/OkBreadfruit2181 Mar 13 '26
This is a bf? Not your father?
I mean, please stay with him. Please. You’ll never learn
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I recognize that you are making a jest about my father, I just don't understand what it is supposed to be or infer. Could you clarify?
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u/DramaIV Mar 13 '26
Oh my god. Some of yall are so seriously easily baited, look at the username and post history, Christ.
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u/BUSKET_RVA Mar 14 '26
😂🤣👍🤘Thank you and I love you. Some of these junior therapists/psychologists-in-training have really made me worry for future generations
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u/CDUBduality Mar 13 '26
Where in the world would you be where there is a dishwasher, people you live with, that you don't know and have to keep everything in your room. More to this is presume.
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u/misterfuss Mar 15 '26
When I saw the beginning of the screenshot, I thought it was a bad roommate situation, but it’s with a boyfriend.
Dude needs to exit this toxic relationship ASAP!
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u/hawksdiesel Mar 15 '26
Lol, yeah this is a run situation....red flag dude waving his flag hard here.
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u/brianlives Mar 13 '26
Seems like y'all are not working well at taking care of one another.
It appears that he has expressed to you previously how moving his things and not returning them is frustrating for him. Instead of honoring his requests, you dismiss them, then gaslight him when he gets upset. Not only that, you then seek to humiliate him online. That's a pretty big foul in my book.
His tone could use some work, but he has a simple request that you choose not to respect. He has a good reason to be upset (not respecting his things and wishes).
Lots of red flags going on here.
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
We have both discussed how we are learning one another, and we discussed how I should do his laundry. I didn't realize it extended to dishes, which in my mind go in the kitchen.
I found the exchange humorous, but I find many things humorous that quite a few people don't.
I let him know what I was doing.
Now that I know that the request extends to *all* of his things, I plan to respect that. I agree there was lack of clarification on exactly what is expected.
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u/BrotalityREAL Mar 13 '26
This might be the single most toxic relationship I've seen in a HOT minute
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u/DrCrazyCurious Mar 15 '26
OP, run.
Run.
This is an almost word-for-word recap of a conversation my friend had with her boyfriend before he broke her jaw and left her in the hospital.
For the love of god, start fucking listening to the hundreds of people saying this man is a problem.
Your desire to help an emotionally wounded man might just leave YOU physically wounded.
"Oh, not me. That only happens to every other woman who lives through this," said every victim of partner abuse.
Run, OP. Please. Run.
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u/hypeserver Mar 13 '26
Hey OP, I imagine these comments aren't what you expected. Your boyfriend is an abusive POS that you've already desensitized yourself to. You need to move on. This will not get better, only worse.
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u/JHSD7 Mar 13 '26
This is hilarious!! I love that you told him you’re putting it on Reddit 🏆🏆🏆
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u/OnlineTextBasedRP Mar 13 '26
I say what I mean and do what I say I will.
And thank you! I thought it was hilarious too!
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u/vss95 Mar 14 '26
These screenshots are perfect for r/amitheasshole because I think a lot of people will say that OP is indeed an asshole
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u/matrixknight88 Mar 14 '26
If this was just your roommate, I'd have said to leave his dishes for him to wash, but given you said boyfriend who you presumably want a future with, and assuming he wants the same, he needs to grow up and learn to integrate.
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u/DependentBass7097 Mar 14 '26
If you dont leave its encouraging this type of behavior, but if youre into it, then I guess you do you but if you guys are in an established relationship, this is so childish of him, these are the things you almost think or maybe have the start of the thought but dont end up saying, and your take on it from other comments seems a little too 3rd person for me to think its even a real person commenting "ive always been psycologically minded" isnt justification to be with someone that is out of control, at best you have a scientist/lab rat relationship and at worst you're acting like youre the scientist vecause he tries to undermine you. Its best to leave people that acts like this consistently to their own life, because they will end up dragging you down further.
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u/DependentBass7097 Mar 14 '26
Oh! Every day! Because youve been with him and shown that he can act that way day in day out its always gonna be this way, think, if its been like this for the past week, month, or year(s), its gonna be the same every day week month or year(s) in the future, you cant make important life altering decisions around someone that lets the primitive aspects out constantly because they will let the "what about me" out constantly as well as the "making it about me" and the pity parties, but maybe you know all this and just want validation in being around a toxic soul, and maybe youre toxic to match in a scientist experimenting way to match how he acts primitively, because its noones fault but yours if you decide to put up with this kind of exaggeration of expression where he lacks the supression of extremes on a daily basis
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u/DependentBass7097 Mar 14 '26
Honestly, maybe disregard my comments, this is an odd situation and I want no stake in how it plays out
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u/RitaKackbert Mar 15 '26
I hate when my stuff is touched, used or misplaced without anyone asking me first. Did you do this multiple times and that's why he's freaking out or was it the first time? I would totally understand him, if you ignored all his requests. Otherwise he clearly would be a dick.
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u/PyreStudios Mar 14 '26
I could understand if it was just your roommate, but the fact it is your bf is insane work
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u/Macharli Mar 14 '26
If someone rage baited and gaslit me the way you have in these comments, I would be losing my mind over insignificant shit like you putting my mug in the dishwasher too.
There are much bigger fish to fry in this situation and from your responses m, I suspect you’ll continue to let him get away with his abusive behaviour until you have absolutely hit rock bottom mental health wise.
He is abusive. You are letting him continue to do this. You need to leave.
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u/Individual-Paint4622 Mar 14 '26
JFC.
This dude is next-level abusive. I fear for the day he escalates (and he WILL) to physicality. He will do it with zero hesitation or guilt because he absolutely believes he is in the right and that OP is actively attacking him.
He has zero respect or regard for OP and an even smaller grip on reality.
I’d be concerned for his mental health if I wasn’t MORE CONCERNED for OPs safety.
He will brutalize the person in his path when he snaps.
There ain’t no way. I’d leave him and his fucking mug in the dust ASAP.
His texts aren’t funny, they’re a fucking warning.
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u/Theorphanmhm Mar 14 '26
Why not just leave I’m sorry but that’s genuinely a control freak manchild
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u/hungo_mungo Mar 13 '26
Wait, woah woah woah woah woah.
You are actually in a relationship with this person?
I read that right. You get treated like this for putting a mug in the dishwasher and you are still in a relationship with them?