TLDR: I go on our nonrefundable Ireland trip alone, his visa is not back. Would you go alone, or stay and plan something else.

I am in a predicament, my boyfriend (M26) and I (F29) have planned a trip for my 30th birthday, set to leave on Saturday. I have a Canadian passport and he has an Indian passport, so he needed a visa for Ireland, he applied in time basis the embassys timeline. However, he has not received his passport back with a visa and tomorrow is the last day to hear about it.

That being said I am in the predicament of going alone or not going and us doing something in Canada. It’s a predicament because I got us cheap flights as it was just a week, and he did not book the hotel with a refund (lesson learned 🤦🏽‍♀️). So if neither of us go it’s a total of about 3500$ spent. I think he is in the fence about me going without him, he encourages it but also encourages us planning a week long trip in Canada.

I don’t know where I stand on it because I am going through a lot, the day I leave it’s a year since my dad died, then a year since we buried him and my birthday that I wanted to make a big deal out of this year but it was not my idea to be alone.

So I guess what would you do? Would you still go, or should cut your losses and go somewhere closer together. We haven’t travelled much together just road trips (small ones) and India.

Me and my spouse have been together for 10 years now. We have 4 cats and have lived together for the majority of our relationship. I’m starting to notice that our lifestyles and long term goals are not lining up anymore, along with some things they do that I believe to be on abusive. Abusive or not, we are just not meshing well anymore and I feel like every time I try to bring it up it ends up with them saying I need to try harder. I’m not sure if I can try any harder than I have been. I feel like I’m pushing myself to the limit trying to make them happy. It doesn’t really matter if either of us is at fault it’s just that I don’t think we’re compatible anymore. We’re moving in opposite directions somehow. I think an at minimum temporary separation would benefit both of us.

The main problems about bringing this up are:

•I can’t drive. They drive me places most of the time.

•Separating the cats will be devastating. For both of us and also the cats.

•We live in a very affordable house together, but not if we separate. I’m not sure where either of us will go if we split.

•I don’t think they will respond well to the idea of us splitting. I think they will blow up and not listen. Which may be wrong of me but it’s still how I feel and it’s a big roadblock on approaching the subject.

I’m just not sure what to do right now. I feel like I’m being pushed too far and that they’re not trying, but they feel the same about me. I don’t think either of us are happy right now but we’re too comfortable to face it. We’re both so scared of change. Does anybody have advice on how to navigate this?

TLDR: How do I bring up a separation to my partner of 10 years when we live together, have cats, and I can’t drive?

i want to start this off by saying i don’t intend to be a cheater on purpose by any means but i am in a complicated situation . me and my bf have been together since early august .

the only thing that has ever concerned me with him was that he stated at one point that he would leave if he found someone “better than me” since this is his first year of college as that’s just biology but he would still love me . i made a post about it and got 500 comments telling me to leave him and that he’s a red flag but i still stayed regardless . however he has urged me to go to the same college as him and he says he misses me and all that so i don’t doubt him too much .

now fast forward to present time , i met a girl online on this platform a couple days ago that i really like , she is attractive in my eyes for sure . we gamed for a bit and we have a lot of similar traumas and hobbies and stuff the only real issue is that she lives in a completely different asian country (not gonna state which one for obvious reasons) while i’m in america . which obviously means theres a pretty low chance of us ever meeting plus we have a time difference and all that .

yesterday she did ask me to be her gf and stating that she is obsessive and crazy and needs a fp (favorite person) and she wants it to be me since the last girl got “scared” off by her . she also does sh and a couple other things which i’m worried about . i’m scared i put myself in a situation where someones mental health is dependent on me when i literally didn’t even have to do that , i have a boyfriend . for context she’s also 20 by the way , she’s older than me by a year .

i’m in love with this girl i met online but i have a bf and we’re from the same state , which means its obviously an actual relationship with him meanwhile with the girl its more so an online relationship . but i feel like i love the girl more than him . do i come clean about this to him ? i have to meet my bf soon in two weeks i’m worried ill act weird around him and i wont have an explanation as to why i’m behaving that way .

i feel horrible as if i’m a cheater but i dont know how to fix this and its my fault that i started talking to that girl but felt as if she needed someone to rely on and i wanted to be that person for her but now shes my girlfriend meanwhile she has no idea i have a bf irl .

**TLDR:** I have a boyfriend but started calling a woman I recently met online my girlfriend without telling her about him. I need advice on being honest with both of them and setting boundaries.

Hi Reddit! Long time lurker, first time poster to this sub.

Context: My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for almost 1. I adore this man with everything I have and he does the same for me. Truly the best husband a girl could ever ask for! Trustworthy, loving, smart, hilarious, and all around just a good man. Because he's so smart, he's in law school! Woohoo! I'm so proud and happy for him and he is flourishing. Definitely has found his people, as my brain works VERY differently from his, and is loving it. He's always been a very introverted but charming guy and he has some good friends but never anyone that I'd describe as a twin flame or bestie sort of thing.

I am super insecure. Full stop. Just, as a person. I've been cheated on in the past and had a VERY ROUGH upbringing. It's something I've been working on for YEARS in therapy (6 years now) and I've made leaps and bounds of progress but my biggest fear has always been for him to find better and leave me legitimately, then I can't even be mad. He deserves the best and I'm terrified that he'd be better off with someone whose brain works similarly to his. This hasn't ever been something that's been a realistic fear really, and I know it's my own insecurities. He has given me every reassurance in the world and I trust him 100000% + he knows about my current struggles and is being so awesome about them.

Two weeks in, he makes a new friend \[30F\], we'll call her Penny for sinplicity. Cut to him instantly clicking with her and being near inseparable in two months. She is so smart and successful and they spend SO MUCH time together by virtue of their classes, being friends, and being great study partners. She owns a house (in another state) and plans to move back there once school is done. I've met Penny, she's great, I like her a lot and I'm so so happy my husband found such a great friend. I also want to make friends with her and know that she has 0 interest in my husband romantically.

However, now I'm facing the start of every recurring nightmare I've ever had where he leaves me. I know he won't, I know it's my own issues, but he's never clicked with someone like this before, especially another woman. It's terrifying to me. I know he isn't looking but that's not where the fear comes from. It comes from him genuinely deserving the best in life and me being scared he's going to wake up one day and realize someone else would be better for him.

I know it's a me problem and he's been so supportive and open and wonderful about everything, but I don't know how to deal with him being so close with a woman that is the embodiment of all of my worst insecurities. It isn't her fault, it isn't his fault, and I do not want to ruin this friendship for him. He's been more than willing to take a step back and wants to make sure that I'm comfortable but it isn't fair for him to have to do things differently when he isn't doing anything wrong.

So, Reddit, any advice on how I can deal with my own insecurities and get used to this quicker?

TLDR: My wonderful and introverted husband has clicked with a smart lawyer lady that is the embodiment of my worst insecurities and I need help getting TF over it because it is 100% a me problem

It seems like my [36F] partner [38M] cycles their emotions. Some days they are a little more stand offish, not affectionate, short, abrasive. Then it's like a light switch, obsessive, overly affectionate, lovey dovey, gross bullshit (that I fucking love, mind you). This will go on for about 5-10 days and then right back to the beginning of the cycle.

Does anyone else experience this with their partner or themselves even? Is this normal for a long term relationship?

Side note: I am on the AU spectrum so trying to understand how other people function really stresses me out and i truly don't understand. I lack empathy, not for the lack of trying but because I just truly don't have any. I can feel sympathy but empathy is lost on me. My partner and I have been together for almost a decade, so this isn't new to us and this behavior isn't new either.

I'm just trying to understand if it's something I'm doing to make him cycle like this or if this is normal for a long term relationship.

TLDR is it normal for your partner to have cycling affection towards you?

I'm 31F, and my boyfriend is 31M. We've been together for four years, and I'm looking for advice on how to navigate a disagreement about marriage and financial stability.
When we started dating, I had a business that was giving me decent returns. Unfortunately, the business started struggling, and I decided to focus on finding a job instead. I've been actively applying for jobs and exploring other ways to earn an income. At the beginning of 2026, I was fortunate enough to get a paid internship, which I'm currently doing. I'm also thinking about starting my own NGO in the future.
Our relationship has generally been good. I love my boyfriend, and I have no doubt that he loves me. He's caring and supportive, and this is the main issue we've struggled with.
When we met, he was living at his parents' house and didn't own a car or a house, although he had a career. Over the years, I've encouraged him and supported his goals. Today, he has his own house and a car. At one point, when he wanted to buy another car, I encouraged him to prioritise buying a house instead because his current car was still functioning. He listened, and I'm happy that I've been able to support his progress.
Now, after four years together, I feel ready for us to start planning our future. For me, that means discussing marriage, traditional marriage requirements such as dowry, and how we can begin building a life together.
However, he doesn't feel ready to commit to marriage until I'm financially stable. He wants me to have a reliable income before we take that step. There was a point in our relationship when he told me he had considered ending the relationship because of my financial situation
I understand wanting a financially secure partner, and I don't expect him to carry all the financial responsibilities in our future.
But I'm worried because there is no clear timeline for when he will consider me financially stable enough.
I'm genuinely trying to improve my situation. I'm applying for jobs, exploring business opportunities, and thinking about different ways to make ends meet. I use part of the little money I earn from my internship to pay for land that I acquired jointly with my sister. I'm not sitting back and expecting him to provide for me.
I also don't depend on him for my personal expenses or ask him for money. When he gives me money, it's usually because he chose to do so willingly.
I've explained to him that financial stability isn't always guaranteed.
Someone can have a good job today and lose it tomorrow. I want to become financially independent for my own sake, too, but I don't know how long it will take to get a stable job or build a successful business.
What makes this difficult is that I feel we've reached a stage in our relationship where we should at least be discussing our plans and working towards a shared future. I don't want to pressure him into marriage before he's ready, but I also want to understand whether we have the same expectations and timeline.
HOW DO I MOVE FORWARD?

TLDR: My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, but he doesn’t want to commit to marriage until I’m financially stable. I’m actively working towards financial independence, but I don’t know how long it will take, and I need advice on how we can plan our future together.