I know it’s been talked about a lot I just need some encouragement. I had about 4 drinks on Monday. I had a negative test the Friday a few days before. It’s Thursday now and I have a positive test.

Did you drink before knowing you’re pregnant? How’s your bub doing? Have you given birth?

I’ve booked my first GP appointment for next week and I will definitely talk to the doctor about it.

I found out I was having a boy a few weeks ago and it was quite a shock, but we have been getting excited over it and picking out outfits and talking about names and stuff. for whatever reason… this week I feel new waves of gender disappointment that it’s not a girl. maybe it’s because I spent time with my friends’ baby girls last weekend who I love so much so it feels fresher, idk. Just struggling a bit, especially with the guilt of it all. Looking for any advice 😞

Im a FTM 25 due in Dec. I know benefits of breastfeeding and formula is not exactly the same despite its benefits. Though I really want to consider. I honestly have a little selfish reasons to consider this - After birth i want my body to myself - simply recover and share the responsibilities with my husband so my child doesn’t just depend on me and im not exhausted all the time and simply focus on my recovery.

Anyone who has a similar experience and just prefers to formula feed despite of no complications? Im also not interested in US store formulas that are often recalled and have sth suspicious going on so would import from EU. I know it’d be an expense.

Anyone who has any insights that validate my POV or if you have any rational ideas that could convince me to breastfeed (sth thats not just all about “motherly” feeling coz it aint convincing enough). Like I said, I have my own selfish reasons to not want to unless formula is an absolutely bad/risky idea for my child.

This is my first ever post and please please don't be mean as I am feeling terribly vulnerable with this situation.

I am feeling incredibly jealous of my partner cheating even though I know he is not.

Some context: Over 10 years ago I had through a horrible situationship that left me depressed. I was a very toxic jealous person. Looking back, I don't recognise that person any more.

I am married to my husband for 5 years, together for 8. I never felt jealous of him during our relationship. In fact, I would laugh and make jokes with him if I saw a women flirt with him. I honestly did not feel a drop of jealousy.

We both show our love in different way. I am lovey touchy, tell I love him every day, like to hug and kiss: he, on the other hand, show his love making me breakfast. doing chores in the house. He will tell me he loves me after I tell him... It's very odd that he would hug me out of nowhere and when he does it feels very special. We come from different cultures and I know his family is the same, so he grew up with very little to no acts of love around him.

We have a little one and now I am pregnant with our second. We have a small group of mum and dad friends who kids who to the same daycare as mine. He wfh so he does the drop offs and pickups and it's rare I do it unless I also wfh.

Anyway, for the last months, he has stay over an hour outside the around the daycare with one of the mum friends and her kid. This is making me feel very jealous and I don't know why. This lady is my friend and she is very lovely with me. My little one and her kid play together all day so in my head they don't need an extra hour of play. My husband says he is just letting her play more and he loves to see her play with this friend. I tell him she already played with this kid for 8 hours, she doesn't need more and I would like them to come home quickly after the pickup.

I feel like I am going crazy here. I have to reasons other than this impromptu playdates to feel jealous. I don't feel like seeing this friend because I am scared I will not be nice to her or just be weird and she obvs doesn't know about my feelings.

I just feel like he will cheat because I am pregnant, in pain and I don't even look pregnant because my first left me with a mum pouch and I haven't been able to loose the previous pregnancy weight. In comparison, this mum is beautiful and is very fit.

I asked him to please come home. I share my vulnerability with him and I though he understood but he keeps staying longer after pickups. He got angry and I told him again that I feel this and that and says I preventing our daugther from having a good time because I am irrational.

I am scared of getting depressed and repeating the same situation I lived over 10 years ago. I don't know how to get out of my head. I am a very anxious person and was diagnosed with depression in the past.

If you got here, thank you for reading this.

First of all, I signed up here solely for this reason, and I feel terrible while writing this. However, the dozens of questions in my mind are driving me crazy. Last May, I found out I was pregnant. Even though it was a planned pregnancy and a wanted child, I don’t know why, but I suddenly found myself in a severe depression. I was overwhelmed by almost schizophrenic-like thoughts; I was constantly convinced that there was something wrong with the baby. My first 12 weeks were spent completely sleepless, stressed, and unable to eat. And unfortunately, smoking. It felt like at that time, I was either going to commit suicide or smoke—it was the only thing that calmed me down. One day, while sitting down, I had a crisis; there was a completely full pack of cigarettes in front of me, and I smoked the entire pack back-to-back without any break. In other words, I chain-smoked 20 cigarettes sequentially without stopping. That day, I went to the hospital first, and then to a psychiatrist. Now, I am far away from those thoughts, and according to the doctors, the baby is perfectly healthy. I am exactly 24 weeks pregnant, and it appears as 26 weeks on the ultrasound. (I haven't smoked a single cigarette since the 14th week). However, my mind and conscience are constantly stuck on those first 14 weeks. What if I caused permanent damage to the baby? I need some positive stories about this. Because smoking without a break like that was a mild carbon monoxide poisoning, not to mention taking all those toxins at once.. feel like I'm the only cruel person who has ever done this and that I have caused irreversible damage to the baby.

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I don’t even think this story needs that much context. My partner and I have been together 3+ years, both in our thirties.

I am getting an abortion tomorrow, he’s known for a little over a week and was supposed to accompany me tomorrow morning at 9am.

Touching base about the appointment before he levees for work our conversation verbatim:

HIM: “about tomorrow… I forgot my mom has a doctors appointment at 9:45am…” smirks and laughs

ME: “… wait… are you joking?”

HIM: still smirking “No. So I’m in this predicament- do I go with my mother who birthed me, or do I go with the woman when it might not even be my child?”

More specifically looking for first time boy mom answers!!

I’m in a rather complicated situation and would love to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar or has advice to share.

I recently found out that I’m pregnant, and not just a little pregnant, but already over 20 weeks along when I discovered it. To say it came as a shock would be an understatement. I had absolutely no symptoms or signs beforehand, and protection was used. Yet here we are!

To make things even more complicated, there are two potential fathers. One is a former long-term situationship, and the other was a summer fling. Both encounters happened within the possible conception window (just my luck!).

I’ve been completely transparent with both men about the situation. Neither of them knows whether he is the father, and I’ve made it clear that I’m open to prenatal DNA testing if either wants to arrange and pay for it. However, I’m not in a position to cover the costs myself, especially given how expensive these tests are and how much I am spending to this situation already. Also, as far as I understand, the commercially available prenatal tests aren’t legally recognised for establishing paternity, meaning we’d likely need another test after birth anyway in my country.

A little background on my situation:
Finding out about the pregnancy so late has turned my entire life upside down. Within just three weeks of discovering it, I had to move back to my home country and essentially start reorganising my entire life. <- I literally do not have much time before birth.

Thankfully, the pregnancy itself has been very easy so far, and everything is looking good. But the circumstances surrounding it have been anything but straightforward.

Potential father #1: The former situationship.
He was understandably shocked and panicked initially. He’s particularly uncomfortable with the uncertainty of not knowing whether he’s the father, which I completely understand. He has expressed that he’d like to be supportive and potentially be present for the birth. However, I simply cannot give him any definite answers about paternity at this stage unless he wants to arrange testing beforehand.

So far, there hasn’t been much drama with him (fingers crossed). The main complication is that he lives in another European country.

Potential father #2: The holiday fling. Now, this is where things get a little more complicated.

He expects daily updates about my pregnancy, which I’ve already explained is too much for me. I’m exhausted from everything going on, and I don’t feel that daily communication is reasonable, especially when we don’t even know whether he’s the father.
Personally, I think weekly or even biweekly updates are more than sufficient, particularly since my pregnancy has been uncomplicated and there isn’t much new to report between appointments.

He’s also been asking for pictures of my belly and very specific details about my medical appointments. Some of these questions feel unnecessarily intrusive, and honestly, they make me uncomfortable.

We were never in a relationship. It was a fling, and while I absolutely respect his potential role as the father, I also feel that my privacy and personal boundaries should be respected.

There are also significant cultural differences between us that I’m concerned could create disagreements down the line. On top of that, I live in Northern Europe, while he lives in Africa.

My biggest concerns about the future:

Regardless of who turns out to be the father, there are several things I’ve been thinking about, especially because neither pregnancy possibility comes from an established relationship, and both men live abroad.

1. The baby’s surname?
   I really want my child to have my surname. Considering that I’ll be the primary caregiver, the baby will live with me in my home country, and I’m neither married to nor in a relationship with either man, this simply makes the most sense to me.
   However, I suspect this could become an issue with potential father #2, particularly because of our cultural differences. Has anyone dealt with disagreements over surnames in a similar situation?

2. Communication and updates after birth?
   What is a reasonable expectation when it comes to keeping the father updated?

I absolutely want my child to have a relationship with their father, but realistically, I’ll be raising a newborn largely on my own while also managing my everyday responsibilities. Later as a working mom, hopefully.

I don’t want to feel obligated to provide constant updates, photos, or video calls, especially when it starts to feel like I’m reporting to someone rather than simply sharing information about our child.
Where do you draw the line between being cooperative and maintaining healthy boundaries?

1. International travel and maintaining a relationship with the father:

This is probably one of my biggest concerns.
If the father lives in another country, especially outside Europe, how do people realistically manage visits?

For example, flights to Africa can easily cost €1,000 or more. Am I expected to spend my own money and limited annual leave travelling there so that the father can see the child?

I understand that maintaining a relationship with both parents is important, but I also don’t think it’s reasonable for the entire financial and practical responsibility to fall on the parent who is already doing most of the day-to-day childcare.

I know this might sound selfish, but I genuinely don’t see myself spending my limited holidays and savings on regular international trips, especially when I’ll already be carrying the main responsibility of raising the child. How do other single parents navigate this? Do you split travel expenses? Does the parent living abroad usually travel to see the child? What arrangements have worked for you?

1. I genuinely appreciate that both men have expressed a willingness to take responsibility if the child turns out to be theirs. I know that’s not something everyone in my situation gets to experience. At the same time, I’m struggling with the feeling that my personal space and privacy aren’t always being respected, particularly by potential father #2.

I understand that the uncertainty is difficult for them too. But I’m the one physically going through the pregnancy, preparing to give birth, and completely restructuring my life around a baby I only recently found out about. I feel like there should be some understanding that I need space to process everything without constantly having to explain myself or provide updates. And again, we don’t even know who the father is yet.

It’s an incredibly messy situation, and I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate it all…

I am 20f and before pregnancy I weighed 115 pounds I am now 22 weeks and weight 140 is it normal to have gained this much weight Google tells me I’m over weight😖.
Did you gain this much weight in the second trimester?

how do we feel about the name anne-marie. i love it dearly but ive been on the fence about every single name:,)

Hello everyone! I’m officially 8 weeks pregnant today, and I haven’t told anyone yet because I’ve been waiting for my first OB appointment next week on 10/21. 🥹
I’m honestly so nervous. As happy as I am to be pregnant, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that there’s actually a baby growing inside me. I don’t feel pregnant in the sense that I can actually believe it’s real, if that makes sense.
The only thing I’ve really been holding on to is my daily nausea lol. I have food aversions, brushing my teeth is a struggle because I feel like gagging, my breasts are sore in the mornings, and I pee all the time. I know symptoms can vary, but I think I’ve been using them as reassurance that everything is okay.
I’m genuinely so happy to be pregnant, and this is something I really want. But at the same time, I have so much anxiety about my appointment next week. For some reason, I keep feeling like I’m not going to get good news, even though I don’t have any particular reason to think that. I think I’m just overthinking all the things that could go wrong.
I’ve also found myself on the side of Instagram that constantly talks about pregnancy risks, miscarriage, and everything that can possibly go wrong. I know social media can make these fears worse, but it’s hard not to spiral sometimes.
I just really, really want my first appointment to go well. I want to see my baby and finally feel like I can breathe a little.
For those of you who were anxious before your first ultrasound, especially around 8 weeks, how did you cope with the waiting? Did anyone else convince themselves something would be wrong even when they had no real reason to think that? I would really appreciate hearing your experiences, especially some positive stories.
I think I’m just looking for a little reassurance and validation that I’m not alone in feeling this way. ❤️
Thank you for listening!

We are having our first and possibly only baby. We really want the sex of the baby to remain a surprise until birth. The office already knows we don’t want to know on the nipt test, but I’m terrified of it being ruined another way. For example: me reading a radiologist report for an ultrasound and it being on there. Has anything like this happened to anyone before? Just trying to think of all possibilities so I can do my absolute best not to have the surprise ruined! TIA!

Looking for stories on both sides and those of women who have gone through both with pro’s and cons. Given the chance (which is extremely rare) would you choose natural or c-section for a first time mom?

It’s 3am, I bought a test last night, not genuinely thinking it was possible that I’m pregnant, and I got a positive result.

My husband is asleep, and I know when he wakes up this won’t be happy news for him. He wants us to be in a better place, and I do agree, but I don’t even know what to do now.

I was set to get a breast reduction in December and I had essentially decided that I was either going to do a reduction or have kids one day, but not both.

It feels like a sick joke from the universe to just sneak a pregnancy in there right before I was resigned to not having children.

My husband is the best person in the world, but I know he’s gonna panic and not want us to do this while we’re still living in an apartment. I’m so scared to tell him because it’s going to change everything no matter what.

I want to be excited but I don’t feel ready, I’m 30 so I genuinely don’t know if I could be ready if I’m not now lol but I also live in the US and that’s terrifying in itself.

What a world!!

I’m a 28 (f) that just found out devastating news that my baby tested positive for Down syndrome. Me and my husband discussed getting an abortion and I know with the way our life at the moment it’s the right decision for us. We’re both not in a financial position to be able to care for baby with special needs and I just feel it’s extremely selfish to bring a child into this world you’re not 100% sure you’ll be best parent you can be for that child. Even though my mind is made up i can’t help but feel a tremendous amount of grief and sorrow.

This is my first pregnancy and from the moment I found out I was going to be mom it was honestly the happiest day of my entire life. It has always been my dream to be a mother. Now that all feels like a distant dream that feels unattainable. I’m trying really hard not be so negative but I can’t help but go to all the worst case scenarios. What if I’m never able to conceive again? What if this happens again? I’m so petrified of the abortion.

If anyone has gone through something similar, please share how you were able to get past it. I feel so alone and I feel like I have no one to turn to.

Hi! I’m a 21F, who’s been dating my boyfriend for a very short amount of time. Despite the odds of my birth control, and one condom break, I am pregnant. Don’t know how long, I know only a few weeks at most. I’ve taken 3 tests, but have not been to a doctor yet. (This is a very recent discovery) My boyfriend is 34. I’m a college student, he works delivery’s and pulls a bitching salary. I’ll have my degree this summer and my job pool will open up. My parents would kill me if they knew, and would expect me to terminate. My classmates would judge me. The only other person that wants me to keep it is my boyfriend. He’s full throttle into this, fully prepared to promise me that my dreams and future won’t change, and that things won’t get fucked up basically. We want to get married in the next year.

I’m sorry I know this is rambling and If it’s not allowed just delete it but I thought no one better to ask for advice for than,,, other women who are or have been pregnant?

I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I want to experience it. I want to create a life and give it the best possible chance at succeeding in joy, in hopes that maybe they will live out something fulfilling. Idk, I just got out of an abusive relationship a bit ago, and this man is promising me everything I want. And I think I know deep in my gut I really want this. I guess I just feel like. Wrong? For wanting it? Like everyone and everything around me is telling me I should just get rid of it.

Not a bot I promise. Just a tweaked out college girl.

Anyone else’s baby upside down at 12/13 weeks? Woman had me turning back and forth on the table to try and get a good ultrasound image and pressing me pretty hard with the wand. She said it happens sometimes, but it’s something I’ve never seen in anyone else’s scans.

I’m not really concerned, just found it to be strange and wondered how many others had that happen?

I am currently on vacation and got a prenatal massage at a hotel. I’m 16 weeks pregnant and don’t have a very noticeable bump yet to other people. They had me lie down on my stomach and gave me a towel to put under my chest. It didn’t feel weird to lay on my stomach but now I’m freaking out that I’ve harmed my baby. Did anyone else lie down on their stomach around the same time and be fine?

my husband isnt an alcoholic by any means and drinks every now and again but its bothering me because im due for labor any day now.

im 39 weeks today so labor is bound to happen any day now. he told me at 38 weeks he was going to stop drinking just incase i go into labor any day, but yet tonight he came home with a pack of beers and i absolutely lost my shit. im upset because why are you telling me things then not backing them up?

i said “what if i was to go into labor? youd be drunk and unable to drive”

then an argument started. we havent argued in months. so im crying while im writing this.

im just really upset because he keeps saying “im gonna stop drinking” but comes home with a pack of beers and i made that point very clear. the point is he makes broken promises and goes back on them and it hurts my feelings.

im just probably emotional and pregnant. i cant control what he does but it just hurts my feelings that he says one thing then his actions say another.

Hello, I am in my 10wk2d of pregnancy, and I am a working woman. At my workplace, I unfortunately need to climb stairs at least four times a day, and that is three floors. My OB-GYN told me it is fine to climb stairs. The road conditions are very bad, so my OB-GYN advised me to avoid two-wheelers, meaning I need to walk to my workplace. Basically, I walk and climb stairs many times a day, and although I do it very slowly and gently, I am exhausted by the end of the day. I feel absolutely drained and am genuinely worried that I am overdoing it because I do not want to regret it later. How much is too much when it comes to activity during pregnancy?

I’m three months pregnant. Can I still eat Subway if I ask them to toast the meat on the side before adding it to the sandwich?

Found out I was pregnant with my ex’s baby and unfortunately can’t keep it. Been prescribed misoprostol - would welcome any advice on what to expect

I just made a post 3 hours ago about freaking out but now I need some potentially immoral advice…

I just found out about 3 hours ago that I am pregnant. Two positive pregnancy tests, it’s happening, it’s in me.

I’m a HEAVY daily cannabis user. I’m not sure yet if I’m going through with this pregnancy, but if I do I plan to be sober throughout the entire thing.

But like… is it horribly immoral to smoke one last time, even though I know I’m pregnant?

I smoked last night before bed, not knowing that would be the last time. I just want to know that it’s the last time so I can process that.

I realize how fucking dumb and selfish that sounds, so I just need some really honest advice here lol

Anyone else reward themselves with a drink after birth/first breastfeed? Or is this too young ho of me?

I am almost 11 weeks, started at 152lbs and am hanging out at 163 lbs now. 5'3. And transparently I feel SO ANXiOUS. FTM and just no clue what to expect. I am working out 2-4 times a week, 2 of those being morning 1 hour strength training and the others being walks or bike rides. I am eating a little more than I typically would but primarily just because if I don't eat I feel really nauseous.

I just need advice on where to go from here. I want to stay as healthy as possible in pregnancy and am worried that I have gained this much already. Please talk me off a ledge, give me advice, tell me your stories. Whatever I can do to put myself and baby in the best position possible! TIA!!!!