I'm in the final stretch of my pregnancy, and this experience has made me more pro-choice than ever.

Don't get me wrong, growing our baby has truly been a blessing. I'm so excited to finally meet him, and we are over the moon about becoming parents. But going through pregnancy has also made me realize just how much we ask of someone when we expect them to carry a pregnancy to term.

I honestly cannot imagine being forced to go through this, especially without a support system or the ability to choose what's right for you. Pregnancy is no joke. Between the endless medical appointments and tests, the financial burden, the physical symptoms, the changes to your body, and all the fears and anxieties that come with it, it's an enormous commitment that affects every aspect of your life.

I think it's incredibly selfish and cold-hearted to force someone to go through all of that against their will. As grateful as I am for my own pregnancy, I would never want someone else to be forced into the same experience when they don't want it.

I've had other mothers tell me that my perspective would change once I became a mother, but honestly, I don't see that happening. If anything, experiencing pregnancy firsthand has only strengthened my belief that having a child should be a choice, not an obligation.

Anyway, that's my little rant! I'd genuinely love to hear other people's thoughts, especially from those who have experienced pregnancy themselves. Did becoming a parent change your perspective on this, or did it reinforce what you already believed?

(US based, as I'm sure is obvious)

OMG the next person who asks when my leave starts or why I'm still working. Leave starts WHEN I HAVE THE BABY. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow, I look like I'm going to explode, I'm wearing the same two outfits all week cause nothing fits, I'm waddling around and spending much of my day going to and from the bathroom but I have as many as 4 more weeks before the baby comes out. If I start my leave now my time with the baby gets cut short by as much as a month!

(Also I'm fine to keep working, I have a desk job, it's super flexible, I'm ok. Would I like to not be working? Yes. I'd like to be at a spa. Duh.)

Don't tell me I should start my leave early or ask why I'm still working. If you think pregnant people should stop working at 36 weeks or whatever CALL YOUR FUCKING GOVERNMENT REPS AND TELL THEM TO CHANGE THE LAWS. I can't take another month off unpaid for no reason except that you think my water might break during our meeting!

-end of rant.-

I’m a 28 (f) that just found out devastating news that my baby tested positive for Down syndrome. Me and my husband discussed getting an abortion and I know with the way our life at the moment it’s the right decision for us. We’re both not in a financial position to be able to care for baby with special needs and I just feel it’s extremely selfish to bring a child into this world you’re not 100% sure you’ll be best parent you can be for that child. Even though my mind is made up i can’t help but feel a tremendous amount of grief and sorrow.

This is my first pregnancy and from the moment I found out I was going to be mom it was honestly the happiest day of my entire life. It has always been my dream to be a mother. Now that all feels like a distant dream that feels unattainable. I’m trying really hard not be so negative but I can’t help but go to all the worst case scenarios. What if I’m never able to conceive again? What if this happens again? I’m so petrified of the abortion.

If anyone has gone through something similar, please share how you were able to get past it. I feel so alone and I feel like I have no one to turn to.

I’m so angry at the world today. We were so lucky with our first pregnancy and had a healthy baby boy. Since then, it’s like our luck ran out. We had six chemical pregnancies and one ectopic in which I lost a tube. We were on our final month of trying before calling it off, and lo and behold - we got pregnant! What a miracle, right? Finally, all the pain and suffering “paid off.”

We made it past our chemical losses, it wasn't ectopic, all was looking good… and then at the anatomy scan yesterday we found out we’re missing a kidney. That’s okay, right? Lots of people live with one kidney. Except in my clinical notes, I see that what they are looking for in our “precautionary” fetal echocardiogram next month is whether the artery between the heart and lungs is functioning. If it isn’t, it’s a condition that will impact our baby forever and will require surgery and medications and all that right after birth. And I’m just… So. Fucking. Angry. 

Because what do you mean we went through all this and now we might have a baby that makes it earthside only to die on the damn operating table? What do you mean we’ll potentially have hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical debt that means we are never able to purchase a home, save for college for the kids, or save for our retirement? What do you mean we might have a kid that suffers tremendously, and our older son will suffer from loss of attention and opportunities? What the fuck is this? It feels like we’re cursed.

And I know we don’t “know” for sure yet, but after being on the “wrong” side statistically for over a year and a half, it feels like we’re doomed here too. I’m so angry. I’m so angry. I’m so sad.

I don’t really know how to start this off
At the beginning of this month, I had my anatomy scan later than usual around 25 weeks. They found excess spinal fluid in babies brain +18mm on both sides(anything under 10 is considered normal). With this, they told me that baby will probably be born with cerebral palsy and based off of the amount of fluid that they found it’s though to be very severe. so they started talking to me about the option of abortion due to the quality of life of baby.
Within the same week, they had me going for an MRI to see more details. I got a call from the doctors office, confirming the findings along with other abnormalities in babies brain.
So long with what they had already told me, they told me that it’s looking to be where there’s a possibility that baby might not even survive birth or very long after birth.
This will be my second baby. My first was born, completely healthy.
They did draw blood too do a more thorough, genetic screening or to check if I got an infection for cause.
I don’t know what to do. I obviously don’t want to have baby being in pain.
I don’t know processing also due to the fact that up to this point, everything seem to be healthy. Heart rate was always good baby was moving very well. and consistent
Even though she moves and it’s constantly kicking, she’s in the right position she’s supposed to be at this point of pregnancy. I feel like I’m partially in denial.
I have yet to tell family due to my mom is a very emotional person who doesn’t manage her emotions very well and I’m trying so hard to manage mine and I just can’t handle managing her too right now.
I have my toddler who is now two years old and I’m trying to get it together for her I have occasionally a couple breakdowns around her so she seen me crying, and this last week she’s been more clingy towards me and now she wakes up at night screaming for me and I don’t know if that has to do with what’s going on.
Kicks feel like false hope.
My support system is basically just my husband. Who I know is also feeling this hard.
I also don’t know what I’m planning.
For after.
I’m not sure if I’m writing this for advice or for rant I guess both. We guidance ? I don’t know.

This is my first pregnancy and I reluctantly told some of the people at work because I was already feeling pretty horrible at 6 weeks. The comments I’ve received from other women (who have had children!) are things like “you’re too early to have symptoms” or “it’s psychosomatic”, “you just think you have symptoms because of the movies”

Anyone else hear this and get super frustrated?! It feels invalidating and I’m self conscious about being sick around them because I’m afraid they will think I’m faking.

I had orange and it wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. Passed my test today!

Anyone else reward themselves with a drink after birth/first breastfeed? Or is this too young ho of me?

30F FTM here at 39+3 and just patiently awaiting the arrival of my son.
Anytime I’m doing anything I’m just like “imagine my water breaks while I’m making breakfast/taking a bath/using the toilet/etc”.

I’d love to hear some stories from other people on what they were doing when they went into labor, how far along were they & how they felt throughout the day and any other anecdotes they’d care to share!

At 20 weeks pregnant I had an ultrasound / anatomy scan that came back with an abnormal result - so my doctor referred me to the children’s hospital in the city. I had my appointment there today. They did another scan with better technology and explained that my baby has a rare tumour - a totally random situation, 1 in 40,000 chance. So far things seem stable, but no matter what happens, my pregnancy just got a lot more complicated - I will have to have all my future appointments in the city, which is a 2 hour drive away from home, have to see a specialist instead of my family doc, get a ton more scans and even an MRI (which I’m scared about), I could loose the baby early or have a preterm or emergency delivery, my chance of c-section has gone up and if my baby lives will need surgery and a stay in the NICU. 😮‍💨🥺 plus, there is a chance of severe consequences from surgery. I want to be the best mom I can be and make the right choices - but I’m scared. The doctors talked to me about the option to terminate but the idea of that seems so terrible to me and there’s not enough information yet to know what the outcomes will be - plus, no one has a crystal ball.

Not sure if I’m just ranting or why I’m posting - just afraid, and wondering how all you mom’s are staying so brave.

I’m 15 weeks pregnant.

Both of my siblings and their partners are going to be in town this weekend and the plan was to announce the pregnancy to everyone there in person. I told my partner about the plans. We did the NIPT test and already have the gender results so it was going to be one big pregnancy and gender reveal.
The family plans are Saturday. (Writing this on Thursday night). My partner asked me tonight if I would be disappointed if he didn’t go. I said “yes, I want you to be there” he started going on and on about how Saturdays are his only full day off and he doesn’t want to go out and do anything. This wasn’t an issue until tonight and I asked if something happened between the plans being made and consistently talked about and tonight. He said no and said that I was being selfish for not caring that he is tired and wants a day of rest. (But also, if you’re tired NOW, should I just expect zero help from you when the baby is here?) The plans are an early family dinner at my mom’s. Nothing crazy just siblings getting together for taco night.

I feel so upset, disappointed and alone right now. I feel like he ruined the excitement over finding out the gender results last weekend and now is stripping me of the excitement of announcing to my family.

I’m not exactly sure how many DPO but I have been feeling so exhausted. I missed my period and waited until my entire period that would’ve happened was over to take a test.
I NEVER miss a period, only by a day like one or two times.
I knew I was pregnant, had a big feeling.
Tool the test on Tuesday morning and sure enough!! I go to the DR tomorrow to have it confirmed. Super excited. Technically I am 3 weeks and 3 days in
I know it’s early but it’s my first and I am just so happy this moment is here for me 🥹🥹

Edit to add: sorry for TMI but normally I’m a pretty gassy person lol but this gas now has been insane 😮‍💨

We just had our first “anatomy scan” at 16w 6d today. Baby girl looks great and developing normally. Sweet baby boy is also developing normally, all except his head. He has bilateral dilation, the lateral ventrical being 12.9mm. The doctor said she couldn’t see CSP or a lot of brain tissue but that it is early. My husband and I are going to the genetic counseling and going to do the MRI to get a better understanding of how his brain is looking with the extra fluid. I was just wondering if anyone has had experience with this and what the outcome was? The doctor painted a very grim picture for us, pretty much he either will die in the womb or shortly after birth. But some of the research I’ve done says that may not be the case? This baby boy is so darn active every time we see him in ultrasound, his heart rate is strong, the doctor saw a brain stem. I’m just not convinced to give up on the precious boy. I’m just hoping for stories, good or bad to prep us as we move forward with testing and hoping.

My wife and I recently lost our baby at 10 weeks. This would have been our first child. It's one of those things you don't really know how to feel about. It's not like grief you've learned to deal with growing up. You just don't know how you're supposed to react.

You walk into your first ultrasound excited, completely unprepared for the possibility of hearing that there's no heartbeat. Then you start talking to people and realize just how many have been through the same thing. That 10–15% chance they tell you about at the hospital somehow starts to feel like an understatement.

As the father, I know this is something I'll carry with me forever, but I also feel like I've been able to process my grief relatively quickly. I know it's different for my wife, both physically and emotionally, and right now my biggest priority is helping her through it at her own pace.

For those who have been through this, what helped you the most? What did your partner do that made a difference? How much of healing was about talking about it, remembering, and processing everything, versus trying to move forward and not constantly bringing it up?

And something a bit more specific. We had already picked out names, one for a boy and one for a girl. For those who went through something similar, did you give the baby you lost one of those names, as a way of saying goodbye? Or did you save the names for your first child who would eventually be born? I honestly don't know how to feel about this. It feels strange either way.

I know the obvious answer is "everyone is different," and I completely get that. I'm not looking for a one-size-fits-all answer. I'd just really appreciate hearing what worked for you, so I can broaden my perspective and hopefully be a better partner through this.

At first it was whatever now I’m kinda of tired of hearing it. Like I know my bump is bigger than the average but I don’t need to hear it constantly. I’m not a super sensitive person and I joke about it myself but for it to be the first thing you say to me is so rude. Especially when you feel not yourself at all.

Have I ever wanted a McRib? Never!

Did I just see one on my Reddit feed, and now is it the only thing I can think about? Yes!

Am I also Canadian with no hope of this happening? Unfortunately, also yes 😅

Love being Canadian, but right now I really wish we shared the same menu as our neighbours.

Is anyone else having the stinkiest gas ever? Im having to step outside to not cause my family to have to evacuate the home.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Hey everyone, I'm 26 weeks pregnant with mine and my husbands first baby. This week I've started getting really bad sciatica pain, so much so that I had to crawl down the hallway to get in bed because I could not stand, my husband knows this and even set up my heating pad for me the last couple of nights. Well, last night I asked him to feed the dogs before we got in bed, he said he would then when he came to bed said "we'll just feed them in the morning" I don't like letting them skip meals so I got up and started doing it. While I'm scooping their food into their bowls the sciatica pain flairs up again and I'm sitting in the floor crying because it hurts so bad, he comes in and tells me that I'm "doing to much and it's not that big of a deal" he takes them their bowls and we go to bed. Fast forward to tonight, I again ask him to feed the dogs to which he says he will. I go get in a bath and come to our room to put pajamas on and he's asleep in the bed. I wake him up and ask him again to feed the dogs. He says he will, I wait 20 minutes and he falls asleep again 2 more times. I finally get up and go feed the dogs and he tells me that I'm making a big deal out of it again.

For context, I'm a stay at home wife and normally feeding the dogs is something I do but with this pain I can barely bend down to even pick up their bowls. I have also noticed a pattern of if I ask him to do something he goes to bed and "accidentally" falls asleep, and keeps waking up and falling back asleep until I get tired of waking him up and go do whatever it is myself.

So my question is, am I overreacting? Is it really not a big deal?

my husband isnt an alcoholic by any means and drinks every now and again but its bothering me because im due for labor any day now.

im 39 weeks today so labor is bound to happen any day now. he told me at 38 weeks he was going to stop drinking just incase i go into labor any day, but yet tonight he came home with a pack of beers and i absolutely lost my shit. im upset because why are you telling me things then not backing them up?

i said “what if i was to go into labor? youd be drunk and unable to drive”

then an argument started. we havent argued in months. so im crying while im writing this.

im just really upset because he keeps saying “im gonna stop drinking” but comes home with a pack of beers and i made that point very clear. the point is he makes broken promises and goes back on them and it hurts my feelings.

im just probably emotional and pregnant. i cant control what he does but it just hurts my feelings that he says one thing then his actions say another.

I'm choosing to pump from day one and formula feed if/when needed. I do not see myself breastfeeding directly, point blank. My OB is pressuring me into at least trying while in hospital and I've told her I do not want to. My compromise is pumping until I can't.

Trying to find reliable resources online has been a headache. Every official site, consultant, prenatal class, postpartum class; only has breastfeeding as an option and to discuss alternative ways of feeding with your OB. Just running circles after circles trying to find information. So far my only resources have been other women, but where are they getting their information from?

I'm just so fed up (no pun intended) with the lack of support I'm already getting for my postpartum. I'm so overwhelmed with picking out plug-in pumps, manuals, flange sizes, wearables, and all the extra bits and pieces. I don't even know where to start and just get paralyzed and tell myself another day.

I also just discovered there's flange shapes too that I gotta worry about?

I want nothing more than my daughter to be comfortable in her own skin. I never want her to feel like her natural features are ugly, and I think that starts with how you parent your kids.

My mom hated that I looked exactly like my dad. And that has been made known for as long as I can remember. It really ramped up right around 7 years old. I remember at the ripe age of 7, being forced to get highlights because my hair was “too dishwashy”. I never stopped dying my hair blonde until this pregnancy. I was forced to shave my legs. I wasn’t allowed to cut my hair because it was “boyish”. I was constantly reminded that I had my dad’s nose. If I ate when I was hungry I was told I’d “gain 300 pounds”. When I hit puberty I started gaining weight in my hips, and my mom would say things like “ope that’s your dad’s side shining”. And as you can imagine, all of this combined caused a ton of self esteem issues, that followed me into adulthood. She still makes comments about my features even as an adult.

I can’t imagine thinking my own child is anything but perfect. I never want my daughter to feel the way I’ve felt. I think a lot of that starts with me embracing my natural features and changing the way I see myself too. I just want her to feel beautiful and confident in her own skin. ❤️‍🩹

I am pregnant with a baby girl, and her father has completely dismissed me since I’ve been pregnant. Tried to bribe me with money to get an abortion, and doesn’t want to attend OB appointments with me “cause we’re not in a relationship” he thinks going to an OB appointment with me is like going on a date, It’s ridiculous. I’ve expressed to him multiple times I’m not forcing him to be with me, I’m not even forcing him to be an active dad.

I think he’s trying to hide this emotions for me. Acting like he does not care about the baby. but before we knew the gender, he had told me he wanted a girl. He wanted to name her. He said he wanted her to has his last name. But he doesn’t wanna attend any appointments?? Doesn’t respond when I update him on how the baby’s doing, when I send him ultrasounds, nothing.

He sent me a text the other day saying “If you felt bad for someone and they ended up getting pregnant and you told them you didnt want it and then they didnt listen and wanted to keep it while they just treated you like shit talked shit to you almost everyday and you have no feelings towards them what would you do?”

I responded “I would just abandon the mom and the baby and let them live a peaceful life honestly” then blocked him.
He then texted me from a relatives phone number, stating that he’ll be picking me up on my due date to take me to the hospital, which that’s not even how it works… Who’s to say I’m to have my baby on my due date…. lol
After I thought about it for some time, I responded to him, and I told him that I didn’t really want him there while I wasn’t labor because he hasn’t been a support to me during my pregnancy. Why would I think he’d be a support to me during my most vulnerable moment. And he is offended and mad. I told him he’s more than welcome to go into once she’s born, but not while I’m in labor and giving birth.
Am I wrong for this? Has anyone else been thru this, and what would you do in this situation? Please any advice would help

Was among the first to get the new box, which was released yesterday!! 🤩 Love the almost 90 year old Finnish tradition!

The box itself can be used as the baby's first bed, it comes with sheets + a mattress.

Box includes (among other things)

7 bodysuits

7 pairs of pants

2 zippered PJs (cotton)

1 wool zippered overall

1 winter overall (convertible to sleeping bag)

1 pair of insulated mittens and booties

1 sleeping bag

2 hats

Hygiene products for mom

For people interested in learning more about it:

https://www.kela.fi/maternitypackage

(not sure if this is allowed, but I'm just so psyched!!!)