is it acceptable here to post about specific gods? I tried the Hellenism sub and it was very unwelcoming and harsh

My comrades, as a former Christian and socialist I wish to reveal that Christianity disturbed me greatly while I was still a member of the church.

How did I come to Christianity?

As a result of a depression after my parrot, which I had kept for nine years, died a year ago. I sank into the deepest nihilism of depression and already contemplated suicide, until my psychiatrist suggested that I speak with the priest of our church. I followed this advice and asked the priest why life is only so painful, why it holds such emptiness. He told me that this insignificance and emptiness were merely a façade of the devil, intended to turn me away from God’s word and creation and to drive me into the most complete disintegration until I could no longer find the way to God. So I asked him what I could do against the devil. The priest replied that I should open my heart to Jesus by coming to church every Sunday and praying together to the Lord Christ; thus the love of Jesus would slowly enter me and gradually drive out the devil and his egoism. That would be the first goal in life; the second would be to return this love to Jesus by helping others. And that is what I did for a year, until a month ago. For several months I had already been asking where the love of Jesus remained, because for months I had been having family problems. Several times I prayed to Jesus without my father and mother becoming reconciled again. I never found peace from these disputes until my girlfriend once invited me after school to go hiking in the local mixed forests. I accepted the invitation, and while we walked we spoke about our faith—I about Jesus and that I missed him, and she about Father Sun, for she is a neo-pagan. I asked her whether the love of the sun was really as strong as that of Jesus and the Holy Trinity itself. She replied roughly, “The love of the sun is so bright that even its light penetrates the shadows within us.” With my family problems I found this idea wonderful, for it resembled the love of Jesus. During the walk she also spoke of Mother Nature, her love for every creature upon her, and spring as the awakening of the earth and nature. Meanwhile I noticed how strongly I was distracted from the stress at home simply by immersing myself in nature.

So two weeks ago I decided to practise a pagan faith in secret outside the church and to pray daily to the earth for life. Yet, occupied as I am with intellectual insignificance, a feminine nature makes no sense to me at all! Nature consists fundamentally of the theory of evolution and Darwinism. We perceive nature as so passive and peaceful only because we are protected by modernity! And precisely for that reason we think the earth is peaceful and associate it with a mother.

That is exactly what disturbs me: behind the modern façade nature remains fundamentally martial, driven by instinct, egoistic; the most adaptable wins, the weakest dies!

Even human beings are by nature deeply egoistic—race over race, party against party, nation and state!

Do we not resemble nature rather strongly?

Just as a tomcat would try to drive a rat from its territory in order to protect its kittens and its queen, so the human being does in the form of soldier and worker through the most complete political armament against the threat at the front, in order to protect the children and mothers from the monster that lurks beyond the borders!

Therefore I decided to regard the earth as fundamentally masculine; even the sun and the moon I saw as masculine forces that all follow cosmic Darwinism, such as mutual regulation (Jupiter and Saturn), defence against asteroids and meteorites, the control of orbits, the disintegration of minor objects, and so on. For me the universe is a place of masculinity that never comes to rest.

And what does my socialism have to do with this?

I base my anti-capitalism on the view that the bourgeoisie may be a threat that must be averted, exactly as the earth and its magnetic field avert solar storms.

I hope you have a deep understanding of my view, and goodbye!

Hi everyone. I'm a new eclectic pagan. To explain, I was an atheist for a while but I've wanted to reconnect with my spirituality for a while now. Unfortunately there are issues. I've dealt with psychosis once before (it was a week long series of episodes), and I have diagnosed ocd, which has included scrupulosity/religious ocd in the past (for me it was getting intrusive thoughts about praising the devil).

How do people like me tell if we're actually communicating with a deity or if it's our mental health issues?

so before today i had two cars: one old and one new. the old car sold today for just under $2000 (when i say old i mean old. it still had a cd port and the key was an actual metal car key) while my new one was in the shop. i lightly dedicated the act of putting money into my car as an act of love to lord hermes and offhandedly said “may all that is paid upon this day return to me threefold.” the total repair costs came out to around $500 and one of the worker guys recommended me a place a few towns away to take care of my rust spots for about half of what they’d want (about $300). it doesn’t take a genius to do the math on this one but i think it’s really funny that i got exactly what i asked for, a little more but no less /lh thanks hermes 🙏🪽

I've never had much thought about connecting with my family on my father's side until this month. I celebrate Dia de los Muertos. Not related to pagan, but from my Hispanic side, I still do like to celebrate the lives of those who have passed.

With that being said, I want to try connecting, speaking, any sort of communication with my grandparents, and my uncle and aunts on my dad's side. I only knew and met of my grandmother when I was very young.

So, any advice? Everything is open. Feedback, advice, all of it. Or books, sites, etc is also welcome. Thank you

Hi,

So I have always had weird dreams. They used to be predictive, as in I'd have the dream and 6 months later what I dreamt would happen, but now they're just vivid weird dreams. I've had pretty scary dreams about snakes multiple times in the past. But last night I woke up from a dream that had me wondering...

I don't know if anyone sees dreaming as some sort of spiritual sign or anything, but hear me out...

In my dream, I was standing in this really nice living room area, it had richly stained wood, like oak or cherry or something, really nice looking. I had a German shepherd that was brown and black in color sitting next to me just looking around. Next to the dog was a figure of a man. I couldn't see clothing or a face, I just felt like it was a man in this dream... Suddenly a snake with the body of a viper (had viper patterns) and the head of a cobra came slithering in and right toward me. The dog was agitated and barking at it and the guy started yelling. I just remembered saying 'get this snake out of here' and instantly the dog and the man went after this snake and managed to chase it out. The man tried grabbing it by the head, but I yelled to him not to grab it cause it was venemous and it would harm him. The dog wound up biting the snake, the snake bit the dog, and then the snake was gone. The dog went back to the calm demeanor it had, but its face was swollen and I felt bad that it got bit. Then I woke up.

Again, hope this post is allowed, and I don't know if anyone believes that dreams mirror spiritual things or not, but my question is, would this mean that maybe someone is trying to spiritually attack me? Or in waking life do I need to watch our for someone? I'd like to know what anyone thinks, if anything. Advice is appreciated. Thanks!