Okay I'll start by saying I do not have children. I repeat, I do not have biological children of my own. I have never been pregnant, I have never given birth, I have never breast fed an infant.

Now that's out of the way, I have a genuine question for those of you that have/are doing those things.

My sister in law asked my mom to watch her 4 month old for a few hours today. She pumps, but also has a bit of trouble producing enough at times. She left 4 ounces of milk with my mom today for about 3 hours total time.

My mom ended up feeding him a little over 3 ounces. When my SIL came to pick him up, she was quite irritated that my mom "overfed" him. She says he's on a strict 2 oz every 2 hours regimen, and now "she won't have enough to get him through the night" because my mom gave him more than 2 oz.

My mom called me and at first didn't mention it, but then I could tell something was wrong. She said she's worried they won't let her keep him anymore because she didn't follow their instructions.

Okay. I get it. They have a system, it works for them and my mom kinda messed that up. I get it. My SIL works full time, she's a new mother, she's going through it right now and now she has to pivot.

.

Last month, the pediatrician said he was underweight and needed more feedings. My SIL doesn't want to use formula (her choice), but acknowledges that she struggles to keep up with pumping.

I know absolutely nothing about feeding babies, and I've never felt the shame that some mothers feel because they can't produce enough. (I've had friends tell me that, again, never experienced it myself obviously). I can't imagine what that feels like. I'm not judging her at all. When she called me later talking about it, I opened my big fat mouth and said "have you tried supplementing with formula?" And ... That was the wrong thing to say apparently.

Anyway, how can I, someone who has never had children, even remotely suggest that maybe she should consider supplementing formula? Or do I need to have a seat and keep my mouth shut? If that's the answer, okay. I'll never mention it again.

My mom was really upset. I just want to make her feel better. Can y'all offer some advice?

ETA: thank you so much so far for the replies. I honestly think she's a new mom and she thinks she's doing what she's supposed to do. She would never harm him. I also feel the need to add, that I'm not there when he's fed. She very well may feed him more than 2 ounces at a time, but I'm only going by what I was told by my mom and my SIL. In other words, I'm sure she feeds him what he needs, but maybe didn't prepare for the extra that my mom fed him for that short time and that upset her routine. Please do not think she's a bad mother, she's just young and this is her first. She loves my nephew and takes care of him.

ETA2: thank you to each and every persont that took the time to educate me. I sincerely appreciate it. I realize I'm not there every single time my nephew eats, I'm not there and have no clue as to the feeding schedule. I've learned not to take things literally, that "2x every 2 hours" may mean throughout the day, not considering the overnight feeding and what goes on in their home. I've learned a lot from y'all, and thank you for commenting. I'm no longer going to reply to comments. Thank you again for responding and thank you for the education I've received. Those of you that believe in a higher power, I welcome prayer for my family. Those of you who don't, I welcome good thoughts and positive energy sent our way. ♥️ Thanks again

TW: BRUE

Last week our almost 6 week old went limp in my arms, turned pale, then blue and ended up being taken to the ER by ambulance. I had noticed a sweaty neck during a diaper change, but was confused because I did not think babies sweat. After the diaper change and potentially sweaty neck, I was watching baby closely when they went limp and turned pale. I yelled for my husband and when he got to us baby turned blue. I called 911 and my husband performed back thrusts. When the first responder arrived baby threw up all their milk from their last feed an hour or so before. Shortly after paramedics arrived and baby’s vitals were seemingly normal. They suspected reflux caused it at ER, monitored baby for a couple hours and sent us home. We are still shook. We’ve followed up with our ped’s office twice.

If you’ve experienced this, were there any tests you did after?

If it was reflux related, did your doctor prescribe Pepcid or any other medicine? Did you change your feeding method?

Did you get any referrals to specialists?

How did you ever sleep again?

We did purchase the owlet after this event. It was the scariest and worst day of our lives.

My baby is now 6 weeks old. She basically has had a diaper rash the entirety of her 6 weeks of life and I am out of ideas. We have tried everything under the sun and nothing seems to help. Pediatrician says to “just keep doing what you’re doing.”

My baby developed a diaper rash around the first week of her life. She poops constantly, every single diaper change is poopy. When we’re changing diapers sometimes we would go through 3-5 diapers per change because she would just keep sharting. She developed red sort of raw spots on her bottom, some eventually even turned into sores and bled a little bit. We feel horrible because it obviously is painful for her and makes her changes miserable. We seen her pediatrician about it twice. She prescribed mupirocin. Basically every diaper change we would wash off her butt in the sink, (also used wipes to wipe a lot too but tried to wash in water as much as we could) pat dry, use a hair dryer to completely dry the area, apply the prescribed ointment and then apply a thick layer of a zinc diaper cream over that. We have tried every single brand of diaper cream. A&D, Destin, Boudreaux, triple paste. I do air time with her with no diaper from time to time as well. I also try to rub some breast milk on it from time to time. We have tried different brands of diapers, different wipes, water wipes seem to be the best but they are expensive. The rash will go away for a day or two and then immediately come back so it’s basically a never ending nightmare. We change her every hour to two hours during the day and whenever she’s up at night which is every 3-4 hours. She is exclusively breast fed. Not sure if it could be something in my diet? Her pooping has slowed down a bit but she’s still poopy every single change. Not sure what else to try with her but we all need relief from this never ending cycle.

Last night I abandoned all hope. I didn’t do bedtime routine. I didn’t do the 7:30p bath. I just sat up to bf on the couch as long as he’d like after changing him into his nightgown, swaddle, and a new diaper. He fell asleep on the boob at 8:30, transferred him to the bassinet, and he slept the hardest he’d ever slept in his entire life (literally). Didn’t wake himself up grunting and thrashing. Transferred flawlessly every single time. Even gave us repeated two hour stretches. He’s 10 weeks today, 6 weeks adjusted.

Has the bath been overstimulating him? I was watching wake windows and naps. He never seemed too overtired or under tired after the bath/bed time routine.

Or does he just take his timing really seriously and decide to start giving us better nights of sleep at 6 weeks old (adjusted)?

How do I do this again?? I feel so human today. With my husband doing 9-1a shift, I got to sleep 9-2:40a straight!

Due to baby being in Neonatsl initially, they put her on formula. She’s a month today
I have since pumped and continued formula, she does latch and with abit of persistence could’ve breast fed

But sometimes in the night the last thing I want to do is pump, I’m so tired. I’m feeling guilty and she only had a bottle of breast milk a day, the rest is formula.

I think I’m looking for some consolation, I feel guilty for not trying to EBF. I partly feel like I’m missing out, and making her miss out. But I’m still giving her some breast milk.

I don’t really know the point of my post but just wanted to get it off my chest.

My little one has her vaccines today and I’m already dreading it. Any tips how to manage it smoothly during and afterwards? Also for how long did your baby struggled with fever, fussiness etc..

Also she normally loves going outside both in her pram or in carrier and often it’s what settles her . Could I still take her out for a walk even if she was having fever or is it better to just wait it out at home?

Ps: please refrain from any pro or anti-vaccine discussion, this is just post seeking advice how to manage afterwards

My husband and I (28 & 29) have been married for 8 years. We are best friends and rarely argue or have any issue. We’re very like minded and genuinely enjoy being with each other. We just had our first baby - a little boy - in August. It has rocked our world. I love that little boy more than anything - but the change to my husband and I’s relationship has shaken us a bit. We’re constantly short with each other. I feel he doesn’t always take initiative and help with tasks for the baby without me having to ask (and he’s willing to - it just takes a little nudge). He gets overwhelmed easily from never having been around a baby before and probably some unspoken imposter syndrome. My mom watched the baby for us over the weekend so we could go have dinner just the two of us - but it was nothing like it was before we had our son. We just kind of rode quietly in the car and ate quietly and went home. It feels like we are in a fog - really the first time we’ve experienced this in our whole marriage. Has anyone had a similar experience with being married for a while before having kids? Does it get better? How can I help him or not be so frustrated myself? Do I need to just let go of what was and figure out what our new relationship dynamic - married with kids - will be? Tips, tricks, advice welcomed!

I recently had a newborn about 3 1/2 weeks ago and my wife is currently dealing with the healing process of a C-section. I’m more than happy to do absolutely as much as I can to help with our baby and her recovery but, I myself I’m starting to get sick. nothing crazy just a sore throat and a runny nose but enough to raise concern. any tips that I can take to help stop the spread of sickness and keep my baby and wife safe! as I said the title I’m a new dad and I’ve always lived a very “just cough till you don’t” lifestyle when it came to sickness now that my priorities have changed my concerns have changed as well please help with any home remedies or easy medicines. I can buy over-the-counter. Motivation is also welcome. o7

Basically, anyone had any experience with Osteopathy

Why did you go and what was the outcome?

LO is 3 weeks old, we breastfeed and co-sleep. The past couple of nights he'll feed, I'll hold him upright for 10 mins or more as he can spit up where my let down is strong. Then he'll settle back to sleep next to me.

At some point whether its half an hour or 2 hours he'll start fussing as if he's hungry. Enough to wake me and think ok let's feed, I get my pillow and then...he's fast asleep again. So I go back to sleep. 10 minutes later the same thing. Over and again he'll do it until eventually he really does wake up and want a feed. He's not crying or over-hungry at that point, just normal

He doesn't do this during the day and its not like he's far away from me in a crib, he's right next to me.

Its exhausting keep being disturbed for no reason. Is this normal noisy newborn sleep or have I been ignoring my child???

I resigned from my job today after returning from my very privileged 6 weeks of maternity leave. I know people who don’t get ANY, much less paid. Having to return to work while having a tiny needy baby who can barely open their eyes is cruel. They don’t even understand they have their own body. Your body is their comfort and safe place. Not only that, but childcare costs as much as I make. So what’s even the point??

I’m very fortunate have a husband who can support us for now, but that is no excuse for the sorry system we have in place that protects companies from having to actually put families first. The fact that paid maternity leave is not required is freaking mind blowing, or even assistance with childcare costs. It’s an absolute travesty.

So for context my son's birth weight was 3.4 KG. He suffered from Jaundice and Dehydration in 4 days and was admitted for phototherapy and saline for a day. That time his weight reduced to 2.95 KG.

Now he is 25 days old and his weight increased to 3.35 KG. He feeds ok (exclusively Breastfed), pee and potty are normal. But seeing in many places babies grow a lot more in weight in first month, makes me concerned. Is it normal or should we see a doctor?

Baby Rupert was born on Monday, after my wife was induced Sunday night and it was quite a scary experience, babies heart rate kept dropping, she was on constant monitoring and we had 6 nurses / doctors in the room when it was time to push as they were expecting an emergency C section to be necessary but all was okay in the end.

First night home was traumatising, and after a handful of hours sleep across 3 days in hospital we got even less on our first night home. All three of us were in tears by the time he finally slept about 5am for a few hours.

So we had a very good case of sleep scaries going to bed last night but we had a stretch of 3.5 and then 2.5 hours were we all managed to sleep, what a difference it's made today! We feel positive, every nappy and outfit change feels far less intimidating and we're trying to get used into our groove with enjoying our two week baby bubble!

Looking forward to the weeks to come as two becomes three!

Hi all. I’m hoping someone has gone through something similar because we’re really struggling with feeding right now.

My son is 6 weeks old and had a tongue and lip tie release on 10/6. We’ve been seeing an IBCLC, OT for tension/body work because he’s had feeding difficulties since birth (clicking, tiring out, taking forever to finish bottles, etc.).

Things seemed to be improving after his release, and he was consistently drinking 800+ mL a day, but over the last day or two something has completely changed.

He’ll start a bottle totally fine and drink anywhere from 50–90 mL without an issue. Then he’ll fuss like he needs to burp, so we’ll stop and burp him. When we try to give him the bottle again, he absolutely loses it. Screaming, crying, turning away, and sometimes getting upset just seeing the bottle near his face. He usually calms down immediately when we hold him upright against our shoulder.

For example, just now he drank 75 mL perfectly, started fussing, so we burped him. When we tried to put him back on the bottle, he started crying and wouldn’t take any more. Sometimes he’ll even seem hungry again but cry the second we try feeding him.

We’ve been using Lansinoh bottles with Pigeon SS nipples and just started trying Dr. Brown’s at our OT’s suggestion. We’re also doing the stretches after his release, which he absolutely hates, so I’m wondering if that could be part of it. We backed off today and his disposition seems happier but feeding is not improved.

I’m getting really worried about creating a bottle aversion. We’ve been in touch with his providers, but I’m just looking to hear from other parents who’ve experienced anything similar.

Has anyone had a baby who drinks perfectly fine at the beginning of a feed but then completely refuses to go back on after burping? Was it reflux, pain, bottle aversion, or something else? Did anything actually help?

I’m feeling so stressed about every feeding at this point and just want him to be comfortable again.

I don’t get it hahaha is it like my body is finally getting some sleep and is like hang on, I need more

Don’t get me wrong I’ve had days with broken sleep where I’m exhausted but I haven’t feel this tired in weeks. I just wouldn’t and didn’t expect having a longer stretch of sleep myself would leave me feeling exhausted.

I have gone back to the gym, started building back up once I was cleared from the physio. Understandably I know my recovery is slower and I’m a lot more sore now. Maybe that’s contributing to my tiredness. I’m not doing anything too excessive at the gym, been going 3-4 times no longer than an hour and I make sure I eat enough throughout the day and enough carbs, fat and protein through whole foods.

I have tried literally everything to put my 8 week old down at night and it just doesn’t happen. We ended up falling asleep together with him on my chest at night.. please no judgment I already feel bad enough. This has been going on for about a week now. I have not accepted it and continue trying to get him to be laid down. I don’t know why he went from being able to sleep at least 2-3 hours comfortably in his bassinet, to crying literally every time I lay him in it no matter what. I’m an EP mom who under produces so it’s really taking a toll on me the fact that I’m going to have to give up on giving him any of my breast milk at all now because I have been having to go 8-9 hour stretches without pumping. He won’t latch either anymore. He is a NICU baby, born 5 weeks early so I’m aware he’s going to be like a newborn for a little while longer than most babies but I’m just so defeated at this point. I feel like the worst mom ever.

Earlier tonight at around 9pm, my 16 week old was arching her back mid feed and started to become wildly uncomfortable. I could tell she needed to poop as it had been a few hours since her last and she’s a pretty consistent pooper. I tried giving her gas drops, and doing the bicycle legs, but nothing seemed to work and she started to cry hysterically because of it. I used one of the Frida Windi’s, she was able to poop and felt immediate relief. I was then able to nurse her back to sleep. At around 11pm, she again woke up in pain, arching her back and crying. I again, used another Windi. I’m sure I probably shouldn’t have but it’s late and I wasn’t sure what else to do and we’ve never had to use them before. (I know not to over use them). She was able to poop at lot more and then pass a ton of gas. She’s now nursing and seems pretty content and sleepy. She does not have a fever.

Since this is a new behavior for her, I was googling and intussusception kept popping up…. So now I’m freaking out and thinking that maybe this may be a more serious situation? Her poop is normal and she’s not displaying any other odd behaviors.

Do you think she’s just having a gassy night and I shouldn’t be concerned??

I thought the wearing the breastfeeding moms sweatshirt was a joke - but this morning my husband is watching our son while I go to work and he is on the cusp of sleep and started fussing I put one of my tank tops on my husbands shoulder before I left and IMMEDIATELY my baby stopped crying in his arms!!

The life hack works!!

i have a 6 week old. We want to go camping this weekend, has anyone gone camping with a newborn? is this crazy to do?

You hear again and again that it's not good to let a newborn cry, with the caveat that it's ok to put them in a safe place to give yourself a breather if it all gets too much.

...but it feels to me like there's more nuance than this. Sometimes my 9wk old cries every time she is put down and she is clearly tired. I try all the usual methods to soothe her but nothing works. Eventually out of exhaustion I give up for a few minutes and let her cry (I'm not trying to do cry it out, I just have exhausted everything else and nothing seems to be working), and then sometimes she falls asleep after a few minutes of crying. It's almost as if all my interventions were actually stimulating her and she needed a moment to calm herself. I guess what I'm saying is, sometimes allowing a bit of crying isn't about trying to train the baby, but if you've tried all your soothing methods sometimes they might need a moment to settle themselves without the stimulation of being picked up. Does anyone else get where I am coming from, or is this stressing her out letting her cry a bit?

I also feel like the quality of the cry matters when deciding what to do. Some cries are more whimpery and exhausted sounding and those are the type that I find sometimes are best left alone. Other cries I wouldn't leave her to cry for a second because she is clearly in great distress. People seem to always talk about the length of time you leave a baby to cry but I've always instinctively felt the type of cry matters just as much.

My baby is 7w 5d old. Since the middle of week 6, something happened with her. She refuses to nap, wakes up a lot more often at night, struggles to go back to sleep, acts fussy at my breast, and is in general very hard to please. She wasn't like this before, at least not to this level.

I am alone at home with her for the majority of the day. She wakes up around 7am every day, that's when she is in a good mood, smiling, cooing, we have some fun time together. Then something changes. She screams her lungs out if I go to the toilet, screams if I make myself food and eat, screams if I just go to fill up my water bottle, screams when I brush my teeth, and a lot of the time screams even when I hold her; she literally screams all the time apart from when she is eating or finally sleeping for 30 minutes. This means I have to let her scream way more than I would ideally like, as I still need to do some things for myself. I feel so bad for her as she is losing her voice by the end of it, but I really don't know what else to do. I literally cannot please her. I tried babywearing, but she hated that too. She doesn't seem to be more gassy then usual, no fever, feeds well as she is gaining weight very nicely.

I know letting them cry for a couple of minutes won't hurt. But this is way more then that. I'm worried this is bad for her. I don't know how to handle this situation. I love her so much, but I feel like this is our new norm and it scares me.

You would think I won a baby lottery - my 9 week old sleeps through the night with one or occasionally even zero wake ups. Sounds great, but he makes so much noise: grunting, yelping, squealing, knocking on the bassinet walls with the swaddle zipper. I can’t sleep at all, I guess my mom brain reacts to every peep. He is too young to be moved to his room, and I can’t sleep in earplugs. I thought it got better at some point but last 3 nights the noise returned, louder than ever. We give him gas drops, but I don’t think they make any difference.

Oh, and on top of that he moves like a clock arm, gets himself perpendicular to the bassinet, gets stuck and gets upset.

Baby is five weeks old today, and I feel like I’ve regained enough consciousness to write a coherent post-event review. This is based on an analysis of my experiences with LO and meta-analysis of other people’s accounts.

In a nutshell: babies come equipped with about 85% of the final hardware and about 10% of the final software. Software updates are non-linear and unpredictable, and none of the systems appear integrated.

Finding 1. Exorcist Eyes
Closing your eyes is the combination of the eyeballs rolling up and the eyelids closing at the same time. Babies (at least the model I’ve been assigned) appear to lack this coordination, resulting in a rather jarring appearance.

Finding 2. Glass bones and paper skin?
I suffered from a moderate case of postpartum depression, but separate from that I was also TERRIFIED of SIDS. I mean, I still am very vigilant and make every effort to comply with safe sleep practices, but for the first couple weeks it felt like I was playing the world’s worst game of The Floor is Lava. (I would like to stress that this is not PPA, rather the result of hearing endlessly about SUDDEN Infant Death Syndrome.) Put baby down on the couch to pull my pants up? Nope. Put baby on the bathmat because momma really needs to pee? Inconceivable. Somewhere in my mind it became “if baby is not on back on a firm surface = immediate SIDS”On second thought, maybe it was PPA after all.

(A key aspect of SIDS prevention is keeping infants from falling into deep sleep. While incredibly restorative for adults, babies can actually forget to breathe in deep sleep—hence the requirement for firm sleeping surface.)

(Edit: it has been pointed out that “forgetting to breathe” is perhaps not the most accurate description of the risk related to deep sleep—it reduces babies’ ability to appropriately respond to a buildup of carbon dioxide levels, which is usually to wake up.)

Finding 3. To warm or to not warm, that is the question
My milk is taking its sweet time to come in, so I’ve become a master at prepping formula. I’ve been blessed in that LO will take a bottle straight out of the fridge, so I thought “jackpot, that’s one less thing to worry about.” We had been gifted a bottle warmer so around 3 weeks we decided to give it a whirl, just to say we did. Boy what a difference. LO will not only take the bottle, but will go to sleep so much faster after feedings.

I don’t mean it to be universal advice, but I do think it’s a bit like pizza—I’ll eat pizza warm or cold, but it is a distinctly different experience between the two. If you can swing it, I suggest you give it a try.

Finding 4. Digestive Updates
Healthy human adults are equipped with many one-way valves in our digestive systems to make sure food proceeds in one direction. When these valves don’t work like they ought, we get things like reflux and heartburn. Newborns have the hardware for this one-way action, but not the software controls necessary to engage them. Similarly on the other end, we adults have sphincters to ensure poop doesn’t just fall out whenever. Same case here: hardware exists, but the software is nonexistent to glitchy at best.

LO is currently in the stage where these software updates are coming in fast and furious, but… version control appears to be lacking i.e. the one-way valve engagements appear to be reducing spit-up, at the cost of making burps that much more difficult. Similarly, part of the daily witching hour is LO trying to poop. (Not constipated, just trying to figure out how to “let it go” so to speak) Small doses of simethicone have been successfully applied as a temporary patch, but eagerly waiting for the next update.

Finding 5. Feedback is not easy to decipher (aka you can’t feed your way through witching hour)
It’s a fact universally acknowledged that babies cry. Many of them also come equipped with a body language module. Unfortunately none of them come with deciphering instructions, and the messages aren’t a simple matter of add-subtract. For example, babies often bring their hands to their mouth when they’re hungry. They will kick erratically when they have a dirty diaper. However, hand-to-mouth + kicks do not equal hunger + dirty diaper—in the case of my LO it’s likely gas pains and the hand sucking is a comfort measure. In the very first weeks there were practically no issues with gas pains due to the one-way valves and sphincters not being engaged (everything just left as they pleased), so it took a couple days to realize that not every cry was cue for food.

(A common misconception is that you can gently touch their cheeks to find out if they’re hungry—if they open their mouth and turn their head toward the touch it means they’re hungry. This is incorrect as the rooting reflex is just that, a reflex. It’s more likely they’re trying to find out what’s touching them.)

Now that I’ve written this all down, I’m sure tomorrow’s updates will render these all completely wrong. It’s been the most wonderful and exhausting emotional roller coaster, and I can honestly say I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, but I’m doing my best. It’ll get better.

(I’m realizing that this is still a bit of a ramble—newborn trenches ain’t easy, y’all)

My 2 month old will start crying and screaming if I put him in his bassinet, but then as soon as I put him on the changing station to change his diaper, he calms down. Not every time, but enough. Obviously I cant leave him to sleep on his changing station, but if i can baby proof it and make it safe, I genuinely might let him sleep there lmao. I dont even know how he can tell the difference