r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Lock_Psychological • 20d ago

Unskippable ad I keep getting threatening texts

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I get these ALL the time. I’ve never donated to these “people.” Never supported them. Never voted for them. Nor has my wife. I received four of these today. All threats. Always a telling me it’s my last chance. These are some of the less malicious-sounding ones.

I’m not even sure they’re legitimately from those parties, though I wouldn’t put it past them.

So… report as spam. Report as spam. Report as spam.

It isn’t like it’s painful. Just pretty irritating.

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u/AggravatingRow7018 20d ago edited 20d ago

You better be careful jd is going to have his way with your couch.

779

u/Lock_Psychological 20d ago

Dammit. It’s a leather couch. Black leather.

Maybe just burn it now.

If I can’t have it, he can’t… “have” (🤮) it either.

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u/brokerceej 19d ago

A lot to unpack here but I'd rather not.

63

u/Com_BEPFA 19d ago

Trust me, JD doesn't have much to unpack at all.

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u/Algaroth 19d ago

I wonder if he consumes interracial couch porn... Like black and white cushions together and stuff.

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u/atomantsmasher 19d ago

"Black leather you say? Mmm tell me more..."

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u/NightlyKnightMight 19d ago

Hide mouse traps in the couch folds

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u/aerdvarkk 19d ago

Nah. Leather is easier to clean than most couch fabrics.

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u/Eckx 19d ago

Should be safe, he only likes white leather.

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u/alghiorso 19d ago

Your average republican voter wishes they were the couch

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u/tamsyn003 19d ago

I keep hearing jokes about JD and a couch, but no one will explain why he's connected with couches and I'm scared to google it- did he pull a Salah (from gorlworld) with one or something?

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u/AggravatingRow7018 19d ago

Around the time they took office a picture of Vance from college came out where he was humping a couch.

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u/tamsyn003 19d ago

Oh okay lol thank you for the context!

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u/PoorFellowSoldierC 19d ago

Wrong, it stems from a twitter account joke post that said he described fucking a couch in his book. Why even reply if you dont actually know what you are talking about? Do you just automatically believe random people online and then repeat what they said without checking if its true?

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u/AggravatingRow7018 19d ago

Oh no I got one thing wrong so I must just believe everything i hear. Get a life weirdo.

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u/Towelyban 19d ago

Why did OP censor Vance's last name and leave his first name open?

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u/FallenAngelII 19d ago

At least my cooch is safe.

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u/Intelligent-Ear-9181 19d ago

Is your avatar Dale Gribble? I love KOTH lol