I (18F) have a brother (21M), we'll call him Ben. We could not be more different. He's a social butterfly who often goes to parties, drives, and stays out late. I keep to myself, seldom get invited to parties, and I'm home by 10:30. Ben went to college eight hours away, and often gets snow; he's gone into the wrong crowd, rich rednecks. He's bought snowmobiles and dirt bikes, drained his college account, forgotten to reapply for fantastic scholarships, and failed classes, which has extended his college career. He doesn't come home except maybe for the holidays if he's not at some friend's uncle's place in Malibu. He's caused my parents a lot of stress (although they're perfectionists, so I take their feelings with a grain of salt), and our relationship could be described as estranged. I went to college this year, I go home every weekend, and as far as my parents know, I have no vices.

On with the question.

My parents had saved up to put in a back deck and hot tub, but the only entrance without walking around the house is my bedroom window. Since I've moved out, they want to put in a door and rearrange things, which is fine with me since my room is the size of a walk-in closet, and we decided to have me move into Nana's place. Nana lived in an apartment-style attachment to the house with a small kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom. Double doors separate our house from her space, but we always leave them open, especially on holidays. Nana lived there for ten years, being cared for by my mom before she moved to assisted living. She still comes home on Sundays, so the living room has to be the same, albeit with a desk there for my summer studies. We agreed to renovate the bedroom to my tastes, though, and I was excited to have my own space, and with just the three of us, the desk in the living room would be quiet enough to study.

Then Ben came and heard the plans. My parents had concealed the conflict for a few days so I felt blindsided when it happened at the dinner table. He wants Nana's space for the summer, since he wants to take his engineering summer job locally, unlike in the past. When I was confronted afterwards, I was told I had the reins of the situation and had two options. Keep the space, or move in his former room. While Ben's room is unoccupied, there's a treadmill, and it's where our elderly dog goes when we're out, so it smells like dog. When I pointed it out, they said they'll renovate it just the same as if I chose to stay in Nana's. Because of his social life, Nana's living room will constantly have guests, and if I have the desk there, it wouldn't be good; nevertheless the nagging I'd get for keeping the space. Choosing his old room is the most practical solution, and choosing Nana's space is the most petty. What do I choose?

TL;DR: Social brother wants the space I want; he's louder and more social and would bring guests no matter what. A different space is more practical, but I don't want to give in to demands.

I currently work in a call center 5 days a week and Barback at a really cool bar 1-2 a week.

The call center lets me work from home 3 days a week but I have to be in the office 2 days a week. I’m pretty burnt out on the job, and I’ve basically hit the ceiling there so I’m not getting any promotions or raises in the future. It pays a little under $25 an hour, and I work there full time. I’m kind of resentful there and unhappy because there is no growth. I’ve worked there 8 years now. It was my first real job that allowed me to get an apartment and changed my life a lot.

The bar I Barback at is awesome and I really want to be a bartender there. That will happen eventually I’ve been told and judging by the trajectory of the previous Barback I have no reason to doubt this.

A chain restaurant in a tourist trap area of my city just offered me a bartender position, full time. So my issue is this- the chain restaurant needs me on the days I Barback.

I don’t know what to do- I think id be happy to leave the call center even if it’s potentially less money (who knows what tips will be like at the chain- I was a server in this same tourist area years ago and tips were often just ok and sometimes really bad), IF I could stay at the bar I Barback at. But the chain is gonna need me those days.

But I want to be a bartender as soon as possible, not at the chain ideally for too long, but it’d be great to have that experience when applying other places.

What do you all think? Thanks in advance.

TL;DR: A) quit my call center job and Barback job so I can bartend full time at a tourist trap or B)
keep my current jobs in the hope I’ll eventually be made a bartender at a much better and more lucrative bar

I knew this guy in college, and we used to study together. He helped me pass a class, and we’d have movie nights where he’d bring me candy. We’re both 22/23, with birthdays one day apart.

I got offended when he didn’t reach out until a month after our last conversation, even though he was just checking on me. I was depressed at the time, and looking back, I feel like I let my emotions get in the way. He helped me so much, and I never even told him I liked him romantically.

We never reconnected, and he changed his number. Now, I want to reach out. I found him on LinkedIn and want to reach out, but I’m nervous about how he’ll react.
Would it be weird to contact him after all this time?

EDIT: it's been over a year since we talked.

TLDR; 22F 23M. Met in college last year. Would have movie nights and study together. I liked him and never told him. I got offended that he checked on me 4 weeks after we last saw each other. And I regret doing that. But I found him on LinkedIn and want to text him. We last talked a year ago.

TL;DR - Would you take the risk and leave your life behind for a lifestyle you know would make you happier?

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some completely unbiased advice from people who don’t know me or my circumstances personally.
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation, or even parents who can offer a different perspective.

My partner (26) and I (24) have been together for eight years, and we’re engaged. We’re incredibly happy together, and a couple of years ago, we discovered a shared love for hiking and exploring the more rural parts of the UK, particularly the national parks. We love wales and Scotland!! We’ve never felt more connected, content or genuinely happy than when we’re out exploring somewhere new, surrounded by nature.

The problem is that we currently live in London, and the longer we spend here, the more unhappy we seem to become. Whenever we return from one of our trips, we experience this almost overwhelming feeling of coming back to a life that doesn’t really fit us anymore. It’s hard to explain, but the contrast is becoming too difficult to ignore.

We know the typical London lifestyle probably isn’t for us long-term, but making a move feels much easier said than done. We’ve discussed moving somewhere rural, but trying to find somewhere that offers genuine countryside living while remaining close enough to a city and my family seems incredibly expensive. And if we’re honest, some of the places we’ve looked at feel more like a compromise than the lifestyle we actually want.

Recently, however, we discovered live-in opportunities on rural estates, including in Scotland. Some of these positions offer decent salaries, accommodation and utilities, with what appear to be reasonable working hours and commitments. For the first time, we’ve come across something that could potentially allow us to experience the kind of life we keep dreaming about without immediately taking on enormous living costs and allowing us to save !

And now I’m terrified.

Part of me feels excited by the possibility of starting somewhere new, building a different life together and finally doing something that aligns with what makes us happy. The other part of me is constantly thinking, What if it doesn’t work out? What if we regret it? What if we end up isolated, miss our friends and family, or discover that the reality isn’t what we imagined?

I’ve recently started a new job, which makes the timing feel even more daunting, even though I know I’m not necessarily tied to it forever. My partner doesn’t seem to have the same reservations.

A lot of my siblings live abroad or are planning to move further away, and although my partner isn’t particularly close to his family, I have a handful of very close friends and family whom I would genuinely miss. I know that moving away would mean giving up the convenience and familiarity of our current lives, and I dont know if I would get to keep my connections.

But the other side of this is that I’m genuinely unhappy with the life we’re currently living. I don’t see myself wanting this lifestyle in the future, and I’m starting to worry that staying simply because it’s familiar and safe could lead to its own kind of regret. I’m not someone who usually has such a negative or fearful outlook, which is why these feelings are confusing me so much. I can’t tell whether my anxiety is a sensible warning that we need to think things through more carefully, or simply the fear that naturally comes with considering a big change.

So, I’d really love to hear your perspectives.

If your adult son or daughter came to you and said they’d found an opportunity in a different part of the country that could give them the lifestyle they genuinely wanted, but it meant leaving their jobs, friends and familiar surroundings behind, what would you tell them?

What would you want them to consider before making that decision?

For those of you who have made a similar move, particularly from a city to a remote or rural area, what was the reality like? Did you find it difficult to build a social life? Did you regret leaving your old life behind, or did you wish you’d done it sooner?

What are the biggest risks or downsides you think we might be overlooking? And equally, what are the potential benefits that might make taking this leap worthwhile?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who can be honest about the practicalities, rather than simply saying, “Life is short, just do it!” I know that, but I also recognise that decisions like this have real consequences.

I suppose what I’m struggling with most is knowing the difference between being sensible and letting fear make my decisions for me.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and offer their perspective. I genuinely appreciate it.

TL;DR: should I go see Resident Evil or Other Mommy tonight?

Thursday night is my movie night, and these are the two options available that I haven't already seen.

I'm not really in the mood for horror, but my local cinema is SUPER cheap and I enjoy going out by myself for a night. I don't mind horror movies, I quite enjoy them, but I'm more about cerebral horror, more like thriller, than traditional blood-and-guts 'Night of the Living Dead' or jump scare 'Insidious' horror.

I'm not a video game fan either. I've never played Resident Evil or seen any of the other movies, so I'm not drawn to that.

Anyone seen both of these movies and know which is better? Is one more cerebral/twist than the other?

TL;DR Should my husband continue with a remote contract job and we move or accept an onsite job in our current state higher pay?

My husband and I got married this year and had the goal of moving states after the wedding and before winter. Some original plans changed and we ended up delaying the move (was supposed to be this weekend). He got a job offer for a role that is fully remote and fine with him moving and has currently accepted it. He is a top candidate for another position that we would have to stay in our current state for.

Details:
Remote job is 12-18 months but comes with no PTO and minimal benefits. This is likely to extend or become permanent at some point. This also is a $7/hr raise for him.
Main con is obviously the not very great benefits that come with a temp job.

Onsite job is 12-18 months and is very likely to be extended. He will have normal PTO accrual and benefits. Access to a company vehicle. This is a $14/hr raise for him.
Main con is staying where we currently live which highly restricts which jobs I can apply to. Essentially I’m limited mostly to applying for remote roles (my job is quite niche)

Obviously neither is really super awful. For added context, I am currently in a temp role until the end of the year, fully remote, slight potential for it to be extended through March. Thus why a location difference could matter for me. However with my scope, there’s a chance it doesn’t help since we aren’t looking at moving to a major metro (NY, LA, etc). We also do not live near family, so this isn’t a factor for us.

Major decision really is between moving with a less than ideal benefit scenario vs taking a somewhat better job, but with limitations to my own career.

Its a weird question but I can either buy a sim racing rig right now or save up my money and go on a international trip with 3 close friends before we go to university in like 2 years. I would choose the trip but the 2 year wait vs right now makes it tough.

TL;DR should I get a sim rig right now or wait 2 years for a trip with close friends

Hello. I am shopping for motors because I want to make a drone. The motors have been hard to find but I found this guy on fbmp that’s selling them at half the price. $13 instead of $25. I’m thinking of purchasing it from him but he lives a 100 mi away so he’s going to have to ship it to me. I checked his profile and all he on his Facebook page is 5 listings all of which are hobby motors. He doesn’t have any buyer or seller reviews and his account was made in 2026. He just might be another hobbyist but idk. It’s NOT my house, I just rent a room in it and I live with two other people. So I guess I shouldn’t be too worried but then he’d have my name and address. But also I don’t think crazy people sell hobby motors and based on his last name he’s Asian (lowkey racist I know but it makes him a bit more trustworthy). Not too sure what to do here because I really want those motors.

TLDR: should I give out my address to this guy on Facebook marketplace that has no buyer/seller reviews but seemingly has a low chance of being a serial killer

Hi all.

I changed my name legally last year aged 22 and I am starting to regret it

My birth name was a name that was quite old fashioned. It’s a name in my country that is popular amongst maybe 45-70 age. It’s a traditional biblical name but I never liked it growing up. I never liked introducing myself and I felt like it didn’t feel like me.

I decided to change it aged 22 to a name I liked. I really like my new name but to be honest with you this has done me more harm than good.

The one thing I hate is the adaptation and having to correct literally everyone who calls me by my old name. It’s so annoying and frustrating and it’s so cringe saying sorry it’s “\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_” to the point I have just stopped correcting people. I try and avoid old friends cos the process is so cringe.

It feels like everyone is doing u a chore and a favor and ehen people get angry with me they start saying my old name and one guy even said that’s not your fucking name is it.

One thing I have realized as well is that I don’t hate my old name as much as I used to. Woukd i objectively say I liked it? No not really but it’s not a horrible name. It’s slightly old fashioned and it doesn’t suit me and tbh I wish my parents never chose it for me and I wouldn’t choose it for my own kid but it’s whatever. My name is my name. I’m not Muhammad Ali. I

I’m going to go back to my old job soon. Half the people have changed and I’m not looking forward to correcting my old colleagues.

My life was actually better under my old name. I think the problem was myself not my name

What do I do from now? Thr name really hasn’t stuck and it’s done more harm than good

TLDR: I’m an idiot

TL;DR: Should I keep my grueling job to protect my career path and lose my boyfriend, or quit the job to focus on university, my sleep, and saving our relationship?

Okay, I have started my university and also company which gave a grant also gave me an opportunity to work with them, I sgreed

But I have to wake up early, study and then work whole evening till 1am and I'm coming home at 2 am due to that, so I have sleeping issues

Even though I thought this would help with my career path, and I xan manage everything

However, I realized later that this is separating me and my boyfriend, btw with whom I'm living rn

And today he asked if I choose him or my work

So what should I do, we are almost 1 year together, I haven't felt such love, like feeling fully comfortable and obsessed with partner and same stuff with him

So he asked me to choose having only uni and spending time togethe and I can sleep well etc, or I will choose work and lose him

What would you do in such situation, if that was your true love ?

​

TL;DR should I stay Friday night to Sunday afternoon or stay Friday night to Saturday afternoon, but it takes me 6hours to get there and back, they are fine with either but they have 1 year old kid help please

I got invited to my cousin's house and I'm debating on how long to stay, my original plan was to stay Thursday night to Sunday night, but then he said it would be best to come Friday night and stay till the Sunday, he is married with a 1 year old so I thought would it be best to just stay 1 night and leave the next afternoon, but the thing is the journey to his house is 6 hours and I'm taking the train plus the public transportation so it feels like a long journey to make just for a short hello if I only stay a night, what would you do

TL;DR 24F| I'm living in a very chaotic household, and my preparation is not going up to the mark. My schedule depends on my home timing.

I have to even take a year gap in 2025 because of the shifting process.

So now I'm planning to move to another city, which is although known to me and I'll live in a hostel.

Or I can stay where I'm, I mean the current city and take a hostel or pg here and prepare.

WHO SHOULD BE DONE

Hello, I am looking for opinions on the situation I’m currently stuck in the middle of. I think I know deep down in my heart what I need to do and am going to do in the next few days. I just want to hear it anyway.

I’m considering calling Adult Protective Services on my family. Namely my two younger brothers

For context: My mom has been together with my step father since I was 5 years old. I am now 29. I lived with them for almost two decades. My step father is a physically, emotionally and financially abusive alcoholic. My mother is a victim of that abuse as well, but she is also emotionally abusive, addicted to methadone, and extremely neglectful who says that she’s sorry and will cry but do nothing to change her circumstances or help her children when confronted. Both of them are responsible for extreme physical, medical and emotional neglect.

I have been out of that environment for almost 7 years now, and have been in trauma therapy and have recently recovered memories that made me recall just how bad it was. My ACES score is 10 out of 10 just for example.

My two younger brothers still live with them. The youngest is 19, and the other is early 21s. I’ll call them A and B.

A certainly has trauma, ADHD, and is a victim of the same neglect I grew up with, he has rotting teeth, dropped out of school like I did and and I’ve only just been able to help him get a therapist and a primary care doctor- yet I believe he has a chance to escape with some outside support.

B is my biggest concern in that he is autistic, has the mental maturity of a 13 year old if that. He is deeply codependent with my mother who has not gotten him into therapy for his severe anxiety, OCD and depression, nor a dentist or doctor, and has allowed him to drop out as well. Nor has she looked into disability for him as he will likely not be able to function on his own due to his upbringing and mental maturity.

I am deeply concerned for both of them since I know the pain of that environment.

My mother is neglectful of herself, does not do anything to change even though I have begged and offered help for years and tried to get her access to DV resources. She doesn’t even have the excuse of lack of other resources because my stepfather never takes off work, is gone for 11 hours a day, and she has access to union insurance, a car, and a twice weekly allowance (financial abuse I know).

So it’s all lack of effort by choice, even despite her own abuse by my stepfather.

I guess I’m just looking for confirmation that yes- this is the right thing to do. I’m scared of doing the wrong thing l, and I don’t want to just turn a blind eye. I refuse to. If anyone has any other ideas, please let me know.

TL;DR: Do I call APS on my family and risk an unknown outcome? Or do I not call, and keep looking for another solution that I have yet to try?

(I cannot move them in with me, I am on disability and do not have the room. I have tried encouraging, helping my mother, comforting her and doing it all myself- I even applied to be a medical representative for my disabled brother but there’s nothing I can do util they have an open case on him- and my mother will not follow up.)

I'm 22 F , got a job offer that requires me to travel 2 hours that's totally 4 hours back and forth. Now I'm staying in my house, i take care of home necessities as in my house we have my grandparents, mom works in our bakery and dad works in different city,comes home once a month. I take care of house and help my mom with bakery. As i got job offer mom refuse me to go as I have responsibilities at home. Mom says if I take this job i have wake up early as 5:30 to get ready and reach at work and come home at night 8pm which could take toll on my body and this timing can cause me to skip breakfast and eat lunch at restaurants all the time. TL;DR should I take the job or listen to my mom.

Hi all, it's my first time posting here and I hope I can find some clarity. I've been trying to make this decision for over a year and it's seriously been causing me lack of sleep and anxiety :( I'm a 24M with a psych BA who's been living in Japan and working as an assistant teacher the past few years and it's been fun but I want to go back home for grad school and kickstart my real career.

For the past year, I've been trying to decide which program I want to go for. The ones that keep coming up are an MSW (master's in social work) and an EdS in School Psychology. Both of these have their own pros and cons so it's been extremely difficult to settle on one, and time is running out because I need to start applying to grad programs.

MSW pros are that it's super flexible and allows me to work in a variety of settings and roles i.e. schools, hospitals, private practice, and the work feels directly meaningful. I think I'd love to have my own practice someday and work with LGBT populations in a 1-on-1 or community setting.

Cons are that it's less financially practical and has a steep curve before a comfortable salary. I'd have to do unpaid practicums while in school and then spend 2 years post grad earning hours for licensure. I have savings and no debt from undergrad so I think I could do it, but in this current economy I question if it's the smartest choice.

School psych pros are that it has a higher initial salary straight out of the 3-year grad program, summers off within the school system, and built-in alone time to write reports which is great for my ADHD introvert brain. I also think I'd enjoy giving assessments and working with students to improve their experience at school.

Cons are that it limits me to one setting (schools) and role and many school psychs report being overwhelmed with unsustainable caseloads, endless paperwork, and feeling like a testing machine, which I worry will wear me down over time. School psychs also talk about how they feel more like gatekeepers to SPED and like they barely get to work with students personally, unlike a school social worker, for example. It's still the more comfortable path but if I realize I hate what it entails, I'm kinda stuck.

TL;DR should I choose a career path that's super flexible and meaningful but has more financial strain initially, or a more bureaucratic path that traps me in one role/setting but comes with a higher salary and built-in summers off?

I got invited to a Halloween party and I’m planning on sneak out. I wasn’t gonna go in the first place because I’m scared of being caught. My parents are Asian, strict, and very religious. I’ve been caught in a lie multiple times before and I’ve told myself that I don’t want to keep disappointing them. Thinking about it though, I really want to go. My plan is to invite my friend for a sleepover and we sneak out. I can’t sleep over in my friend’s house cause they’re weird about it. I’ve had friends over before and they don’t mind my friends sleeping over. My bedroom has a window directly to the front of our house. I’ve tried sneaking out before but I can’t figure out a way to open it; that’d be the first thing I need to figure out. My parents never usually enter my room when I have guests over. The party starts at 10 p.m. so by then my parents should be in their bedroom, either asleep or using their phone. I feel like I shouldn’t go but I also feel like I’m being ruled by fear. I’ve been able to hide things from them before but I’ve never snuck out. What else should I consider before fully deciding to sneak out for Halloween?

I’m a very stereotypical Asian daughter: I’m a straight-A student, I do everything my parents tell me to, and I’m majoring something in STEM. The lies I’ve been caught with is hanging out with a boy (who eventually became my boyfriend, now ex; my parents never found out), cursing, and lying about getting a ride from a friend. I lost my parents’ trust and I’m slowly regaining it. I’ve been relatively honest with them; I honestly just don’t tell them things I know they disapprove of. While I know I should’ve never lied in the first place, in a way my parents never gave me a choice. They never let me have guy friends (or date guys to begin with), hang out with my friends, or learn how to drive. I don’t have a curfew cause they never let me out. They used to be against me having a job but I fought for it because I like having money and the freedom that comes with it. I also plan on moving out eventually. I feel like I shouldn’t sneak out but at the same time I just want a taste of freedom.

TL;DR: I want to sneak out to a Halloween party, but I’m scared of getting caught by my strict, religious parents. I’m torn between wanting freedom and not wanting to disappoint them again, and I need help deciding whether it’s worth the risk.

TL;DR: I do management/administrative work for the military's online courses. It pays like shit. Should I try to learn cybersecurity instead?

Disclaimer: I'm not from the US, so if parts of my story seem to not make any sense, this is the reason why. The system works a bit differently here.

feels like I had so much going for me at some point. In high school I had decent grades, I was part of a few extra curricular activities, I was quite popular among my peers, I was extremely articulate and passionate about developing my speaking abilities. People used to tell me I'm the one who's most likely to 'make it in life'.

Then I chose to study foreign languages in college. I didn't fully understand how stupid this decision was at the time, wish I did. I went with two of them: English, which I was already at a C2 level beforehand, but is still the most spoken language in the world, and another more exotic one that I was told was in high demand.

The college experience itself was quite rough for me. Moved to a different city and had to work part time to afford rent, absolutely did not fit in with the people who lived there, but managed to push through. Didn't graduate at the top of the class but still had decent grades and the professors respected me. I was even invited to teach a seminar while still a student and received praise for my thesis.

After graduating I knew someone who knew someone who had a language teaching center in my city. They loved me during the interview, hired me basically on the spot and gave all the advanced courses (C1s and C2s) to me right away. While I was happy to be able to work in my field right out of college (which seems to be extremely rare for people who studied what I did), the pay was despicable. I was making minimum wage, no benefits, and was also expected to help with translation on the side, when not teaching a class. In theory a great start in my career, but I was already starting to feel self-conscious about pay, because the people I knew who worked in other fields (especially programmers) were making 5 times what I was making on the regular. At some point I was talking to a friend of mine who was a bartender and told her how much I made and she told me she genuinely didn't know minimum wage was that low.

Living with my parents was the worst part of this. On minimum wage there was absolutely no way I could ever afford to move out, and that stressed me out intensely. I'm not in good relations with my family and always wanted to gain my independence as soon as possible, which simply wasn't an option while working that job.

Then a miracle struck. The military needed an English teacher in my city. I met all the requirements for applying, so I just went for it. My competition was virtually non existent as the other applicants were primary school teachers whose English level simply wasn't good enough and who had no experience teaching adults. I got the job and my salary tripled (at the time I though that made me rich af, despite being basically a lower-middle class wage).

I honestly felt like I was the shit for the first few years. Soldiers and officers would salute me, call me "Sir" or "Professor", I had my own office, I was taking part in meetings with higher ups and attending conferences. One year in I was offered a sort of promotion: being the team leader in a training program modernization project. No pay increase, unfortunately, but I basically had a middle management position in the military system, as a civilian. Put my heart and soul into this, took inspiration from various kinds of online learning platforms and tried to implement all the best features I saw into our courses, and to make the life of both teachers and students as easy as possible. Again, received praise for my activities from everyone I worked with, but no pay increase.

During these years I took care of my personal development too. I got in stellar shape and competed in a few running events and obstacle courses. I joined a public speaking club, became its president for a while and even won a competition at the national level. Got a master's in management and security studies from a military university close to where I work, received an incredibly amount of praise for my dissertation and was encouraged to pursue a PhD on the same topic.

Putting all these things into writing makes me feel incredibly grateful for both my health and all the positive influences I had growing up. As arrogant as it might sound, I am happy with what kind of person I grew up to be, especially having been raised in an extremely neglectful family that did very little to support me.

Yet, there's one problem. I'm poor. Not 'I don't know where my next meal is coming from' poor, but I make less than almost all of the people I know. I am successful in my field, by many metrics, but my field pays like shit, and I feel like choosing to study foreign languages set me back in life forever. I know I would have dedicated myself equally as much to any field I chose and were I to have studied medicine, engineering or computer science I would have most likely been loaded by now. But I didn't, and no amount of hard work will ever make me financially stable in this line of work.

A few months ago I decided it's time for a career change. Since my experience working in the military makes me a good candidate for security clearance, I decided pursuing cybersecurity might be a good option. Plus, I didn't really have any other idea. I started studying religiously every single day, no exception: how networks work, basic scripting in Python, Bash and Powershell, CTF exercises, jailbreaking, even got an entry level certificate (ISC2 CC). Yet, the market just ain't in the right place for me to make a career switch, even if I become truly knowledgeable in this field. Programmers with college degrees and years of experience are getting fired all the time and many of them are switching to cybersec, so now there's an unbelievable amount of competition for junior roles. It just doesn't seem feasible for someone who's technically an English teacher to be given the time of day.

I'm honestly very tired at this point. It feels like I've been grinding non stop for over a decade at this point. I won so many battles yet ended up losing the wsr. I aced everything I did, but only chose useless things to ace. I thought being a fast learner, being disciplined and dedicating yourself to what you do is the key to a financially stable life, but this certainly doesn't seem to be the case. I chose a stupid major in college. Nobody else forced me to chose this. Now it's high time I try and make a change. Is cybersecurity reasonable in my case?

I’m 18 and recently moved from India to London to study at a prestigious university , with the goal of eventually pursuing a law degree and building a career in law.

Since moving here, I’ve been hating it, I have lost the sense of motivation that made me want to come here in the first place. I miss my family and the familiarity of home, and some days I genuinely question whether I want this life at all. Other days, I tell myself I just need more time to adjust.

I’m now considering two options: studying in the UK and returning to India after my degree; or going back to India now and studying law in my hometown in a mid tier college instead. It would mean completing my law degree there and starting my career in India, which is where I can realistically see myself living long-term. I could potentially pursue an LLM abroad later if I wanted to.
Continuing in the UK would be a significant financial commitment for my family, so I don’t want to make this decision based on prestige alone.
My biggest fear about returning is regretting giving up this golden opportunity and always wondering what my life could have been. But I’m equally scared of staying for years, sacrificing so much, and realising I never really wanted this life in the first place.

I also feel embarrassed by the idea of returning home so soon. I worry about how other people might perceive it, even though I know their opinions shouldn’t determine such a major decision. I don’t want to stay just to prove that I can, but I also don’t want to leave simply because the beginning has been harder than I expected.
The hardest part is that even when I try to imagine the financial side not being an issue, I still can’t confidently say which life I want. I can’t tell whether I genuinely want to leave or whether I’m just unhappy right now and desperately want things to feel familiar again.

TL;DR- Is studying abroad always worth it? Especially if you want to build your long term law career in India? Should I move back or not?

I have finished the summer season and have more than one month of free time.

I booked a flight (for 15€! just one way!) that will depart in three days and the plan is to do the entire Camino Francés. However, I am wondering if I should leave or not.

Some points...

1. I have already done a Camino (different) 6 years ago, so it wouldn't be a totally new experience
2. I have walked the entire summer season as a guide
3. The summer season led me to see my friends rarely, so I would like to recover my social life
4. I feel the need to stay away from home
5. In any case I have small projects to work on if I don't leave
6. Along the Camino I would meet a lot of new people

The Camino would be definitely a great experience but I'm wondering if it is what I really need now. What would you do?

Thanks!

TL;DR I’ve finished the summer guiding season and have over a month free. I booked a €15 flight to do the Camino Francés, departing in three days, but I’m unsure whether to go. After a summer of walking, I’d like to reconnect with friends, but I also feel the need to get away from home. Would you go or stay?

EDIT: still undecided! I will see how I will wake up tomorrow 🙃. Thank you all for your answers!

Tl;dr a) pay ticket or B) go to court and hopefully get some money off.

Got stopped last night for an unregistered vehicle because it had expired back in April. I was utterly flabbergasted because I always pay my registration and I swear I had paid it.

A) pay the ticket

B) go to court and explain this is the first time in 22 years this is happened and maybe get a couple hundred bucks off. (They usually are pretty good with reducing if people show up to court)

Either way I’m completely fine paying it, I’m actually very happy he stopped because I genuinely had no idea. if I had gotten into an accident that would have been way more expensive then $600. I want to phone the detachment and thank him actually which I don’t know if that’s weird or not.

Edit: sorry! Forgot to add they usually send a letter in the mail as a reminder and i guess this year they decided to do emails because checked my email saying it had expired. I usually pay all my insurances beginning of year. So I guess it did slip my mind, and paid my insurance this morning!! Feel like a fool!

I am extremely conflicted about moving back from abroad either next week or at the end of the year. I initially planned on moving next week, but got a perfect opportunity out of the blue to stay a bit longer. If I move at the end of the year, I'd have more time to enjoy my last couple of weeks in the country I've lived in for four years (local travel, etc.).

However, somehow it does feel like I'm standing still if I do so and missing out on stuff back home. I am excited to start new projects and meet up with friends, which I already made plans for. At the same time, we're only talking about a time frame of 6-7 weeks extra. I don't know why this is so hard. I will definitely come back as a tourist here, perhaps already next year.

TL;DR: move next week to home country or in December?

Hi yall, I have a really big choice to make. I am 22F, recently graduated college and have been job hunting for about 4 months for a full time position. I am hoping to go to med school eventually, so I am looking for clinical jobs. I finally got a call back from a plastic surgery clinic where I could get clinical and surgical experience. Overall this job would benefit me a lot as a person and help me grow. When I went in for the interview it felt so welcomed there. However, they want me to start in January 2027 but I had told them prior that I had a big trip coming up in that month where I would also attend my cousin's wedding and would need time off. The manager was very understanding of my circumstances but also needed someone to fill that spot. Like there is no way I can even go for two weeks at all since it is their busiest month.

She said based on my age, I should just take the opportunity to go on this trip before I get locked into a job and my career. She said there might be another opening in Fall 2027, and I should frequently check in with her about a opportunity opening so she can keep me updated in case.

Other than that the cons of the position is that it is quite a far drive, with traffic would be like 1 hour. My cousin that is getting married is one of our first cousins to get married, and my mother (who would be coming with me) said I should just attend the wedding, I would also be visiting my dad who has been living there alone for quite a few years now (and I recently found out he has been falling into bad addictions). My mom believes I will find another job eventually and I should let something a job get in my way of celebrating a loved one. But she also knows how much I have struggled to find a job and have stressed about it. I also thought about it in the lens that this one month of my trip will potentially take away so much good experience I could have gotten.

Even if I didn't have gotten this position, I had already concocted another plan where I just stop looking for jobs at the moment and continue my part time job and study to get certified as a medical assistant and just go on my trip for a longer time and continue searching for jobs in January again. I already have two years of experience and getting certified will probably make me more competitive.

I have want both outcomes but it is impossible, and I can reason for both sides opinion of what I should do.

TL;DR Should I choose to accept my dream job or should I go to my cousins wedding + a month of travelling before I get locked into my career.

That’s it. Looking to decide in the next 30-60 minutes. Here are some pros and cons:

Pros:

1. Casino
2. Could win money
3. Time out and having fun, win or lose
4. Demolished my to do list so no skirting responsibilities.
5. Money is good so no chance of bankruptcy

Cons:

1. Had 2 drinks so maybe I’m just lacking inhibitions.
2. Uber is 30$ one way (cause of drinks) so that’s an expense.
3. The drive there yawn
4. Could lose money
5. Just broke up with the girlfriend Sunday night so I may just be looking for a dopamine fix.

TL;DR: should I go to the casino, list of pros and cons

EDIT: ok we’re doing it. We’re getting there safe (Uber) and I’ll pull out $300 and leave if I lose it. I’ll update you all later.

EDIT 2: I broke even! Minus the uber rides. Thanks all.

we want to live together and save a ton of money, we are debating the pros and cons of navy and police, with the main setback of navy as not being able to live together unless we get married and less income after 4 years of service compared to the police. we will be living in kop or philly suburbs area if he chooses the police academy... so what should we choose?

we mainly want to know the benefits, pros and cons of choosing either one.

TL;DR which is better long term, navy or police?

TL;DR trying to figure out if I should stay in my comfort zone as a nurse and a 20 something adult or move to a completely different city.

Context 28F moved to US from the Philippines a couple years ago now working as a medsurg/tele nurse. Still currently living with my mother paying a part of rent and a whole lot of my mental health. now presented with 2 options.

option A:

- stay in Illinois, familiar
- save money on rent
- starting pay $40 + differentials
- stay close to family and significant other
- med surg to medical ICU transition
- small suburban hospital, part of big hospital system
- good benefits, no pension

option B:

- move to Wisconsin, start from scratch
- will be renting own place
- starting pay $42 + differentials
- ginormous hospital system
- be away from family and so
- med surg to transplant RN transition
- good benefits, pension after 5 years

Any other questions/factors you want to know, let me know in the comments!