How to tag this I'm unsure, advice is fine & discussion is fine. I wish I could think of a more witty title but hey! No Ai was used. Pure human rambling (i am AWFUL at summarizing things).

(I'm making scrolling on here /after seeing a few previous posts and comments on this subbreddit.)

Edit ; I'd also like to add, it's okay for younger guys & older guys to be more private or secretive about them being together if they so wish. People have their different reasons. You can be in a committed relationship and not be open. He'd probably still be alive if we were more even more secretive, never went to any public places, etc. I don't live a life of privilege neither did he. Sometimes it's survival.. these are just my thoughts

I don't like this idea that all older men only want sex because it simply isn't true and I don't think hooking up a lot while you're young will make said young guy feel good if what the young guy wants is a committed relationship, that's such idiotic advice to give, It's not the same.

Older men can be sensitive too, they can want deep genuine connections, to just have someone they can finally open up too, and so on. I think these kind of men are hard to find where i live but if he exists so must other men like him even if rare or maybe a better way to describe is even though they're more quiet so they get drowned out by the louder voices. He was happy to just have my company, for me to want to stay near him, for him to be able to open up for the first time ; the sex was just a bonus. He didn't want for me to have sex with him and that be it. He cherished the connection. He seemed to think I'd perhaps leave him after, that id end up using him, he realized that wasn't true at all thankfully. Then he started to worry about how innocent and naive, I seemed ; how people would take advantage of that, of me, especially since it was natural. He was very worried about me.

I also think everyone deserves to be spoiled inculding older men. I sadly can't provide that, i feel really guilty about it especially since I don't wanna take advantage of anyone for money, he got onto me for worrying so much and made it clear through words & actions, that i was safe with him. So it's good I'm not really putting myself out there , i wouldn't even be able to pay for even just a soda for myself ; I'm sure that's not very appealing to most older men even if I'm an older teen 18-19. I wish i had money to spoil him then, I had a measly a 140? Ish dollars this summer, i wanted to do something for him or pay him back for the motel maybe the food but he wouldn't take it. He said I should keep it, i didn't have to do that, that he understood my sentiment but I needed it yk? He was right. Its all gone now. He understood my situation better than most. My point still stands tho.

Thankfully my deceased older partner who i was briefly with this summer, understood me completely. He didn't want me to be doing hookups all the time because he knew I'd just get this gross empty feeling afterwards, chasing some imaginary high. Most would soley me as a fetish or an experiment, he wasn't lying, this all I've unfortunately run into after him and even before him. He was once the boy I was. Though I guess I'm more naive unfortunately & childlike which I sadly can't control, I'm glad he understood it was out of my control obviously. Most people I've encountered are even half as understanding. I'd be with him still if he was still alive, he was an angel..

No one's looking to cherish me or have a genuine connection, which is fine. I never expected to even experience my first kiss. I don't mind older men liking me for how young i seem or that i pass for younger, (that's why I lost my grindr account this summer "underage access" though I was 18, I'm not 11-14. I was able to gain my account back, this has happened to other profiles of mine too), it's that they only care about sex/seeing me as experiment/fetish, that's the annoying or frustrating part. They don't want to nurture or love me.

I get why so many younger guys in this subbreddit want relationships, not FWBs or hookups or casual sex. It just isn't the same. I may be in a awful situation right now but I'll take all his advice & heartfelt talks to heart.

I hope the others in here, not just younger men, will NOT settle for less than they deserve. You deserve love and true connection, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. He said if someone couldn't love me at my worst , they didn't deserve me at my best. I like the way he spoke and thought, never judging me or being cruel but gentle and kind. If an older guy wants you only for sex & that saddens you, that's not some insane thing, i think that's normal to feel sad about. Vice versa. Wanting a relationship, dates, stuff outside of sex, is totally okay.

I may be a bit less optimistic in my own situation but I do believe everyone here who wants a relationship will get it, at least i hope you do, everyone deserves love, i truly believe that. ❤️

Hi, guys, just a quick rant...

22M here, never dated, I've been trying to find someone special for a while, but at this point it just feels pointless.

I am in FWB situation with a 56M for the last six months, I thought we were living something special but today he just sent a message telling me that we should still be friends for the long run. That hurt me but I can't really blame him, at least he was honest. I'm going to meet with him again this weekend to talk about us but I don't think there's much to be done, he doesn't want to date me.

I try using apps like Grindr and Scruff but in my experience most of the older guys I met are just interested in sex and lack the desire for a relationship. It's all about sex in these places and it almost drives me crazy, it just makes me feel more isolated because I don't care about it that much.

I'm just feeling very lonely in this. I can't identify myself with people my age, I can't find a older gentleman who would be interested in me and the one guy I thought was the one just wants to be friends. I don't think I'm going to be lucky enough to meet someone like him again, we met perchance and he is so smart and kind... all the time I spent with him feels like in vain now.

I see all my male friends in relationships with girls their age and I just feel so bad, I want to feel this feeling too. I want to care about someone knowing that they also care about me.

I try to be positive thinking that I need to accept myself first and be happy with just me before trying to include someone else in my life, but loneliness speaks louder...