Hi, guys, just a quick rant...

22M here, never dated, I've been trying to find someone special for a while, but at this point it just feels pointless.

I am in FWB situation with a 56M for the last six months, I thought we were living something special but today he just sent a message telling me that we should still be friends for the long run. That hurt me but I can't really blame him, at least he was honest. I'm going to meet with him again this weekend to talk about us but I don't think there's much to be done, he doesn't want to date me.

I try using apps like Grindr and Scruff but in my experience most of the older guys I met are just interested in sex and lack the desire for a relationship. It's all about sex in these places and it almost drives me crazy, it just makes me feel more isolated because I don't care about it that much.

I'm just feeling very lonely in this. I can't identify myself with people my age, I can't find a older gentleman who would be interested in me and the one guy I thought was the one just wants to be friends. I don't think I'm going to be lucky enough to meet someone like him again, we met perchance and he is so smart and kind... all the time I spent with him feels like in vain now.

I see all my male friends in relationships with girls their age and I just feel so bad, I want to feel this feeling too. I want to care about someone knowing that they also care about me.

I try to be positive thinking that I need to accept myself first and be happy with just me before trying to include someone else in my life, but loneliness speaks louder...

Hi. 21yo college kid about to graduate.

A problem I've been fighting with these last couple years is that sex and sexual stuff in general isn't fullfilling. I like making my partners happy, but I keep feeling like it's a waste of time. I have way too many hobbies, so my time is very valuable to me.

After reflecting on my past experiences, I think I'm coming to the conclusion that it's the dynamic that really gives me pleasure and contentment. Like, why can't I just lay at someone's feet while they work or something? BDSM stuff? Sure. Put that collar on me and let me just exist next to you.

I don't know. I'm always in a position with my friends, family, classmates, and coworkers where I'm constantly calling the shots and making decisions for them. I'm good at it, but sometimes I want someone else to take the wheel for a bit 😔.

It's just, the kind of dynamic I'm asking for is always tied for sex. A lot of the time it feels like I'm giving them sex as a trade for just having the dynamic. The situation is exhausting and I don't know if there are people that are even looking for that on dating apps and such.

Any thoughts? You don't have to have advice, but I want to hear your guys' opinion 😁

Anything I should be aware of or just have fun?

So I’m 22 and for the past couple of months, I’ve been interested in dating guys who are older than me. And I’ve noticed that I’ve especially wanted to be with a guy who has kids.

It’s not a kink or a fantasy of some kind, it feels more like something that I would want.

I’m not sure if I really want kids and if I decided to have kids that I would want to adopt. I honestly believe that all kids deserve parents.

What do you guys think, is this weird?

On apps like Tinder, DaddyHunt or r/GayYoungOldDating I try to find a younger man. I often match with one (or get chat requests) then

The chat starts with "Hi", then I reply "Hi" or "Hi There!" or "Hello" then a simple "How are you?" or "What are you up to?" then nothing... crickets. This happens like 9/10 times.

Is this a case of the dog catching the car then having no idea what to do? Its so frustrating.

This is word vomit? Of a bunch of thoughts racing through my head right now. I do want to go to therapy but I need to see if I get approved for financial assistance.

This summer , just a few weeks before graduating high school, I downloaded Grindr for the first time ; the both the best & worst decision ive ever made. I was just curious about the app, wasn’t expecting anything to result from it really. No one really caught my interest but then a few weeks passed, I had just graduated and all and then I got a message from this older guy ; asking if I was like the vampire Armand, he had always wished that he was real the most & if I suffer like he did? I was instantly hooked, vampires & i recently had gotten into Anne Rice. We hit it off hard ! Our interests were so similar, our world views, our experiences, our loneliness, everything. I suppose it was a little eerie. He was gentle & sweet, I genuinely thought he was an angel. Im unsure on what’s out there after death , no one really knows but I hope there’s something given how much Hes suffered in life, he deserves that. I hope theres something so I may met him again. We were each others dream types , I never thought that’d be possible..

I thought I was asexual before I met him or that there was something wrong with me regarding me being intersex (that wasn’t the case thankfully! I was in pain for a whole month or 2 after which is related to the intersex thing) so If we had sex, yeah I’d do anything to make him feel good but I’d probably not feel anything myself ; I wasn’t too concerned with that. However when we did end up getting intimate together, it was like he turned a button on in me & I haven’t been able to turn off since. We barely ate or slept because of how addicted we were to each other. I felt awful for waiting for him to wake up just because I was so needy, he didn’t mind at all though lol. I realized I just needed someone gentle, someone loving and understanding to feel this way. I felt really embarrassed about how I was vocal since I hate how high pitched my voice is but he was addicted to it. All my insecurities were things he found adorable, which still feels so unreal to me. My height, my voice, my face, my hands, my parts, my puffy nipples, etc. I feel extremely embarrassed about my puffy nipples, I was squirming & id cover my face so bad when he’d kiss them or play with them, Im super sensitive in general which I feel embarrassed about too… just him talking to me , made me shiver and get all aroused, it shocked him but in a good way. God i was a mess, i was a giggling mess, I had never in my life felt so happy. I feel like I can still feel him on me sometimes, taste him, which obviously doesn’t make sense to me since he’s gone. It’s such a strange thing to feel safe for the first time then have that be taken away from you. To experience first love and it end up in tragedy.

Of course good things don’t tend to last for me. A whole mess occurred with police involvement, we live in a pretty conservative rural area, I think that’s an understatement of the year. I have doctors appointments in the city, it feels so embarrassing even bringing up my town, Ive had many a doctor ask why I would stay there, here? Money unfortunately. Im traumatized , he’s deceased and the part that frustrates me the most is that neither of us committed a crime. I had someone comment before that they hope I get away from where I live eventually because they’re scared I’ll end up like him. I really do wanna get out of here.

I fully believe he was my soulmate. He actually wanted to marry me and move me in with him, oh lovely that would’ve been if things worked out that way.
I so desperately want to feel his love again. Im scared I’ll never experience love again. Im an acquired / unique taste , thats why he liked me after all, “i was a special boy & he was lucky to be with me” well his thoughts. Im sure I’m not most or many mosts type in general so that’ll make things harder maybe even impossible for me. I know he said he couldn’t understand why I was insecure because I seemed so perfect in almost every way to him, which I didn’t understand, I also didn’t understand how he couldn’t see how perfect he was to me. Logically given the lives we lived, the hate we’ve experienced in our own personal lives, it makes sense, I suppose.
I so desperately want to be kissed and held right now, cry in someone’s arms until it feels like everything will be okay again.

Well thats my story , i just have so many thoughts in my head right now. It’s extremely bittersweet. I feel like a doomed young lover in some Victorian Gay novel.

For a bit of context, im 22 and from a small city, I always had a thing for older male but I dont know how to tell if they are into younger guys.
I swim and go to the gym almost every day so I had meet some older men that I find cute but It’s always just a small chat and it ends there, and i can’t really tell if they’re into younger dudes. Maybe I look too straight or I don’t give enough signals that I’m into them.

I feel like it’s harder since I live in a small city, and I don’t really want to get into dating apps since I feel like there’s no point in that and it’s just for sex

So any advice on how to make a move or flirt with them without being too obvious, since I don’t want to be a weirdo, and almost everyone here is married.

So this older guy and I have been seeing each other kinda casually. The thing is we're both on the Asexual spectrum, and I'm on the aromantic one as well. There isn't much of a romantic attraction, but we enjoy each other's company. Sometimes our dates are kind of like parallel play, which I greatly enjoy. (Doing separate quiet activities in the same vicinity.) We've both discussed wanting to have sex with one another though for clarification.

So basically he took me down to stay at his cabin together, and it was kinda implied that we'd bone because of the emphasis on the fact that it's in the middle of ass freaking nowhere. Although there was some tension, nothing much happened. I mean our knees touched when we were fishing. That was kinda romantical I guess. But we both got grossed out because the texture of water on the hems of our shorts mixed with physical proximity was quite unpleasant. I guess we also gateway hugged, but apparently the gate is locked shut because there wasn't much going on there. We also cuddled on his bed, but neither of us like the humidity that forms during physical contact from sweat so we just grazed fingertips from across this giant ass bed. What's nice though is we have the same sleeping schedule(I like to be in bed by 8pm.) Overall, the trip was was more action than we've ever had with each other. Not quite sure it counted as fucking though. Either way I've had my fill of romantic experience for the year.

How did you guys initiate fucking with your partners?

A little update to my previous post.

We had a proper conversation about the situation, including the fact that he's connected to my family and wider social circle. I also mentioned that I think I'm starting to develop some feelings towards him, although I'm not entirely sure what those feelings are or how serious they actually are.

To be clear, I don't want a relationship with him either. I think part of what I'm feeling might just come from hooking up regularly being so attracted to him and enjoying the intimacy between us. It's a strange feeling because I know this is meant to be casual, but I sometimes find myself thinking about him more than I expected.

We talked about the privacy side of things too since I'm still closeted and don't want this getting back to my family or people we both know. We agreed that he'd distance himself a bit from my social circle while we continue seeing each other casually.

Honestly, I'm glad we talked about it rather than letting things get complicated without acknowledging them. We're on the same page about not wanting a relationship and I don't feel like I'm waiting for him to change his mind. I just want to understand my own feelings and make sure I don't end up overthinking something that's supposed to be fun.

I'm still really attracted to him, and I enjoy the age gap and the way he makes me feel. I guess I'm just surprised by how easily a casual hookup can start to feel more personal when it happens repeatedly.

I am a guy in my late 20s, bi and into crossdressing. Since as long as I can remember I have been having sexual fantasies about older, daddy-type males above the age of 50, and have finally decided that I would like to explore if the fantasy is as good in reality. However, I've been having problems finding someone, and have been told that I am too unrealistic in my criterias. I am wondering if my criterias are indeed too unrealistic and how I should approach this. Here are those and the reasons behind:

1. I am not directly seeking a long-term relationship. If something eventually developed, let it be, but right away I am seeking something short term with no fixed expectations.
2. Beyond asking the other one to be DDF, for first sexual meetings, use condom for everything, including for orals. I know that it does not transmit HIV but there are many other nasty diseases that can transmit through sexual interactions including oral sex, and I really wanted to be safe. I think this is the one that turned most people down.
3. Ideally, allow me to wear a wig and lingerie. I don't need to dress in full female clothese but I feel like it's part of me sexually and that makes me feel more comfortable.
4. Meeting at a hotel for a first sexual meet - park for non sexual stuff. I feel like a neutral place is the safest so less worries for both end, but I am happy to pay for the hotel obviously
5. No married man. Those who agree with my first 4 criterias tends to be married man and I absolutely do not get involved in any kind of cheating.

Am I asking too much? Any advice would you offer?

I used to see a guy 7 years older than me, but one time while we were doing it the dad side of me came out and I called him son and boy. He liked it, so I kept going with it. I might just have more dad energy than he has, but I think it’s both funny and hot that I became a dad to a guy older than me. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I kinda like the dynamic.

I'm 19m, short guy. I prefer older men, just because I think they are cute and I like that they have more experience and can help teach me the ropes (figuratively and literally). I wonder what makes us younger boys attractive? Just curious, can't understand why some prefer people my age.

Older gay men were born during a time of mass civil unrest—aids crisis, lavender scare, don’t ask don’t tell—that left a lot of older men pent up, repressed and emotionally stunted, unlike their straight counterparts they never really got to live freely enough to express themselves honestly

Thanks to them, though, younger gay men get to (mostly) express ourselves, even if we face discrimination it’s not nearly as built-in to everyday life in America as it was around 50 years ago, and as time progresses homophobia rates will continue to decrease.

So we have this relationship where older men fail to express themselves while their younger counterparts are almost hyper expressive due to their newly obtained rights. As a younger gay person who’s into older men I believe that this disconnect is one of the bigger issues that prevent me from getting into relationships with older men. Because if you can’t express how you feel, how am I supposed to trust you with anything?

What do you think?

EDIT; I’ve seemed to have struck a nerve in a lot of people, and I admit that I phrased this wrongly and needed to be clearer about what I meant without using generalizations

But I’m also willing to bite the bullet and say it out loud because any healthy relationship between a younger gay man and an older gay man should be sharing room to discuss how their cohorts life challenges shaped how they express themselves emotionally.

So I want to preface this by saying that I am really happy in my relationship and truly love my partner dearly.

We have been together for 4 years, own a house together and both have great careers making good money.

Recently I have had what one would call a quarter life crisis.

I recently brought up to my partner the idea of me going back to school to pursue my dream of being a Cardio Thoracic surgeon.

He was supportive but in his eyes I could see that he did not like the idea of going into his retirement years struggling with me as I go through this process.

I have 3 options really

1. Break up with him and pursue this journey on my own
   
2. Stay with him and essentially make him endure the sacrifice with me
   
3. Go to PA school for 2 years and hold off on going to med school.

Any advice very appreciated

Me 58 my partner 29. We have been dating for 4+ years. My anxiety is a bit much right now. Started therapy last week. Anyone here experience the anxieties fearing the future loss of their younger partner? If so how did you navigate it.

You know the rule. 20% of X accounts for 80% if Y. In this case, I'm eighty-something with twenty-something mmm... friends? So I thought I'd start a thread. Names are fictional, but not events.

Me, yeah, 80ish, 5'10", silver shag on top, black frontal hair, pretty darn fit dad bod if I say so myself. After I was widowed (from a guy) I tried the apps, with pics; surprised of so many responses from younger. Thirties and forties, but the trysts have been with twenties.

Cody hit me up on Grindr. Just a block over from my condo. Twenty-four at the time, he hosted while his parents were away during the day. His fetish was zentai. Fit 6' body head to toe dressed in skin-tight lycra black with his rock-hard 6.5 erect from the hole in the crotch. He didn't last long with my mouth massage and delivered a load that dripped over my lips. I guess that was just a hookup, but it didn't end there.

Most recently this evening, but stories to tell in between. And stories with Matt, another local twenty-something. Should I continue this thread? (I probably will anyway.)

Whether it be purely out of fun or rooted in deep emotional connections, what is your best sexual experience? I suppose you can also describe your "best" as more nuanced, being comprised of many experiences over a certain time period in your life. What makes it the best?

I met a guy on Grindr, he is 20M, I am 37M.

We developed a FWB situation. At first, internally I was okay with this morally as I did not think it would last, but it has developed into a strong FWB situation. We care about each other and sometimes he texts me for emotional support.

Despite giving him agency, such as only meeting if he initiates, if he says no to something I respect that and never push him, and I told him he has no obligation to me.

Despite this, internally my comfortability with this is morally diminishing.

Anyone have any advice? I am thinking of telling him we can no longer meet as I am no longer comfortable with this.

do you through apps dating sites try to find an older stable man that will take you in provide safety security well being mentorship you provide companionship loyalty as was there for him taking care of his needs

Or do go out on your own what services govt agentcy help foster car that age out provide a support structure to help provide guidance

How gay boys that age out of foster care at 18 make it what is isn't benefical to them during this process

Like the title. Recently discovered that I M31 has developed strong feelings for a M23 year old. I know they’re an adult age wise however we are all in different stages of our lives. We both admire each other as beginner string players. He’s been playing cello for like 7 years and I just started with violin 2 years ago.

I feel so embarrassed someone by the fact that I really like this guy. I don’t know if he likes me I just know that we spend a lot of time together even outside rehearsal times. He calls to check in and for so reason like hugging me.

All this can just be in my own but I think I need advice on how to go around this. He’s a good friend and I’ll rather have them him as a good friend with me. Serious advice needed please.

This has all happened within the last two weeks and I'm honestly a bit overwhelmed by how quickly it's developed.

I'm 25 and not out. A couple of weeks ago I ended up going home with a guy in his 50s after we met at a bar. He's someone from my wider social circle and is actually quite close with my family which makes the whole thing more complicated.

It was supposed to be a one-time hookup but we've ended up seeing each other regularly since. It's purely casual between us we're not dating or in a relationship but I'm completely obsessed with him. He's the first older guy I've been with and he makes me feel incredibly attractive and wanted in a way I haven't experienced before.

He's been respectful about me being closeted, which I really appreciate. The problem is that because he's connected to my social circle, it can feel awkward.

Part of me really wants to keep seeing him more for a while because I'm having a good time exploring this age gap dynamic I've never done before. Another part of me is wondering whether I should end it now while it's still simple before I become more attached or things eventually become awkward or messy.

Edit: To be clear he's told me he's only looking casual fun which does suit us both but I think the more we do it the more we risk getting caught

Soy un chico de 18 en el closet que esta buscando estar en pareja ya que no me gusta mucho lo casual, supuestamente soy atractivo o eso me dicen muchos pero supongo que no todos son sinceros cuando quieren llevarte a la cama.

I’m Chinese, gay, and 29 years old. When I was around 20, I was still mainly attracted to guys my own age. But the county town I lived in was very small. One day, a man about ten years older than me invited me to his place. He had a thing for licking and worshipping handsome guys’ feet. He was the first man I ever had sex with, and that experience planted the seed of my attraction to older men.

When I was 26, I had my first experience as a bottom. It was with a 55-year-old man, around the same age as my father. He was in great shape and quite well-endowed, and the experience was very good. But after I graduated, I left that city.

During the six months after graduation, when I was 26, I went through a particularly stressful period in my life. I started meeting a lot of men in their 40s and 50s through dating apps, and I had sex with some of them. But instead of making me feel fulfilled, those experiences actually left me feeling empty. Strangely enough, though, my attraction to older men only became stronger.

Nowadays, I find myself almost exclusively interested in porn where there is a large age gap between the top and the bottom. In another city in China, I also once experimented with receiving oral sex from a 65-year-old man, and I often find myself reaching out to men aged 55 and older on dating apps.

One thing that really troubles me is that many of these middle-aged men are married or have families. Having sex with them gives me a strong sense that I would be doing something immoral by potentially damaging their families. Because of that, I have almost completely stopped sleeping with them since 2023.

At the same time, when I look around and see people my age gradually getting married, having children, finding stable jobs, and moving forward with their lives, I sometimes start questioning my own sexuality and sexual preferences. When I talk about my preferences with my gay friends, some of them think I’m a freak and openly look down on what I’m into.

For me, I think what I may actually be attracted to is the feeling of being cared for, or perhaps a sense of stability and mature masculinity. But it’s extremely rare for someone to make me feel like he could truly be “the one.” Most of the older men I meet on dating apps don’t really take care of their bodies, and some of them don’t even maintain basic personal hygiene. Other times, after talking to someone for a while, I discover that he has a family, and I force myself to stop contacting him.

Overall, this mindset makes me feel very lonely. In Chinese LGBT communities, gay men who are attracted to middle-aged or older men are often labeled as having “daddy issues,” being materialistic, or even having some kind of sexual disorder. Because of this, I think most people who share my preferences are afraid to talk openly about their experiences.

I just hope that by sharing this here, I can find a little bit of warmth, understanding, and comfort from a community where I don’t have to feel so alone.

I'd love to hear your different kinks and fetishes especially from the older gentlemen in here