I have to come out in college, and I don't know what to expect...

For context, I (FtM) haven't started the transition process yet, and I figured out just four months ago. I have a year and a half of my degree program left, but I’ve started worrying about my legal name, as official certificates are being generated, which will be an issue, and I’m already thinking about my diploma and the hassle of having to change it later. I discussed it with the university directives, as my therapists suggested, and they were very respectful and understanding; however, I was advised to legally change my name so it would be updated in the records, and they offered to draft a letter for my faculty; but that would mean outing me to my classmates and professors, and I don't feel at all ready for that! Everything is going too fast…

In my field, we’re expected to have an open mind since we’ll be working with people and dealing with cases like this, and I get along with my classmates pretty well, teachers see me as a good student, but I’m afraid things might get awkward, and I don't know how open-minded everyone really is. Also, I didn't exactly give off many signs, other than being a bit reserved or socially awkward, so I don’t know how they’ll take it; I hadn't even told my best friend, I’m planning to tell her first. Has anyone else been through this? How did you handle it?

I’m pretty sure in trans

I wanna be a girl so badly but I can’t do anything feminine cause everyone in my family is transphobic

I also wanna start hrt but my broke ahh can’t afford it

Average UK health care experience

To clarify some things:

1. The friend I was talking to (let's name him friend 1) doesn't know that I have a crush on the other friend (friend 2).
2. Friend 2 is obsessed with goth girls.
3. I texted friend 1 that I'm questioning my gender like 4 weeks ago but now I'm more convinced that I'm a girl and I haven't talked to him since then.
4. Friend 1 has a girlfriend.

HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH (im going to do makeup, shave, and be very pretty)

I just had to listen to my mom and my brother argue about trans issues for an hour straight. My mom is the textbook stereotype of a Terf, she never uses my brother's preferred pronouns, thinks trans women merely existing in female spaces somehow makes them a threat, thinks trans people having a high rate of depression diagnosis is "propaganda", and she's still a harry potter fan (as you can see in the attached image she gave me these harry potter themed sweets one time that were complete trash BTW)

It sucks having to put up with this, can I get some GGD please (Abigail She/Her)

(Art is by Sharlene Yap, you should check her stuff out!)

So, I first came out to a friend about a week ago, and despite a good few hiccups, I think the egg may have actually broken. Now, I've been considering names, and I think I'm ready to try them out, and maybe get some feedback!

My original idea for a name was Agnes. We do have a cat named Agnes, which feels a little weird, but I think I could make it work. more recently though, I've started thinking of the name Myla. I asked for some GDD a few days ago under this name, but I'm still trying to decide if I like it better.

Myla is VERY close to my deadname, so much so that they actually share their British and Latin roots( They both mean "Merciful Soldier," which I've always thought was a cool sort of dichotomy). I do really like the name, and I kind of like that it sort of gives a continuation of my past self. But will I continue to feel that way? Since I first came out, I've experienced dysphoria about an increasing number of things and my deadname doesn't *really* bother me, but IDK if that'll change in the future. I've also heard a lot of people say it sounds made up or is a "tragedeigh," Which I know isn't true, but still feels kinda weird.

Anyways, thank you for listening to me yap, I think I'm ready now for some GDD, along with some feedback, good or bad, on names. Myla, She/They :)

I feel so excited!!!!

i just started hrt a week ago but my family still dosent know im trans, my mother and stepfather are very closed minded and said some very transphobic comments over dinner last night. she also keeps criticizing the ways iv feminized myself like my voice and mannerisms, and that makes me doubt myself sometimes. i just want to go back to my friends at school :(

Originally wanted to post this in said discord server until I realised I couldn’t send images in there so I decided to repurpose it for this subreddit :)

I'm not even a puppy girl but I wanna look like this so bad! she's so cute! (yes i know this template is kinda overused, you can't stop me >:3)

*This is a repost. I changed the meme a bit.

This is a follow-up to this post I made a few days ago

So I have been lurking on this subreddit for some time now because:

1. I deeply admire trans people because they are brave enough to know who they are, unapologetically admit who they are, and become their authentic selves, even though society punishes them heavily for it. I doubt I will ever have that courage
2. I always knew something was up with my own gender. I have felt pretty disconnected from my masculinity and have been questioning for quite some time now. The post I made was to experiment with feminine pronouns, which I liked a lot. I appreciate you all for leaving kind and encouraging comments.

Now let me address the first point of the meme:

There are many signs that I might be transfem. My dysphoria peaked when I was still in school, so many of these signs do not impact me that much anymore now that I'm in online school. I'm a minor btw

1. I dislike being called by masculine pronouns and words, especially when they come with "implications". For example, I hated when people told me that "you must do this thing because you're a masculine young man". Instead, I liked being called a girl and by she/her pronouns. Although it pretty much only happened online, I enjoyed it a lot when it happened. From my perspective, she/her and girl are cuter words than he/him and man, so I just like them more. Getting called by these words makes me feel like a cutie patootie.
2. Even though I had no friends, I hated the male culture at my school and seemed to resonate more with the female students. The culture of male friend groups seemed to revolve around sports, aggression, and competition, which was extremely repulsive to me. Female social circles were more affectionate, respectful, supportive, academically inclined, and caused way less drama. This made female social circles much more appealing to me, but since I was still unfortunately a dude whose confidence was strained by autism and dysphoria, I never actually connected with them.
3. I hated being perceived as too masculine. I literally searched up stuff like "feminine body language" on r/MtF and r/feminineboys. Having feminine mannerisms (according to reddit) made me feel better in public.
4. Dysphoria pt. 1 — Face. I couldn't stand my face in public. I felt extremely awkward whenever I saw my own face in anything. It felt like something was wrong with it that I couldn't pin down. I perceived my face extremely negatively; every single facial expression made me feel like a weirdo. This eventually led to me starting to wear a face mask in public, which made me feel much better. I felt uncomfortable whenever I didn't have a mask or was forced to take it off. I remember that the worst school days were the ones when I forgot to wear a mask.
5. Dysphoria pt. 2 — Voice. I hate my current masc voice, so I recently started getting into voice feminization training, which resulted in a sore throat for some reason. So I can't voice train right now. Same as facial dysphoria, every vocalization I made felt awkward and improper. I was really jealous of feminine and "gay" voices because these voices were more energetic, expressive, and bright.
6. Dysphoria pt. 3 — height, shoulder width, hand size, & feet size. I like being small. I wish I was shorter, had thinner shoulders and chest, and smaller hands and feet. Even though I'm just 167 cm tall.
7. Dysphoria pt. 4 — body hair. I HATE BODY HAIR SO MUCH. I wish I could just laser all my body and facial hair. Before I started shaving, I never wore shorts because I was disgusted by my leg hair. Now I shave my body hair which made me feel much better, but I am still not wearing any shorts.

Now on why transitioning isn't worth it to me

1. transphobia: my parents are extremely transphobic. My mother is a devout evangelical christian so it's pretty obvious what she thinks about trans issues. I am forced to go to her transphobic church every Saturday with her. My father is not religious — he's just a giant bigot for the love of the game. He once said there are only 2 unforgivable things that I can do — drugs, and homosexuality. And I'm pretty sure "homosexuality" also includes transitioning. Both of them will go crazy if I do anything too feminine, like wearing feminine clothes or makeup. I literally have to hide the fact that I shave my body hair from them out of fear that they might see it as too gay or some bs like that. So right now, even if I were trans, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. If I eventually do transition as an adult I would have to ensure that I am financially independent and then go full non-contact with them. I'm not sure if that's worth it because going non-contact will hurt their feelings a lot.

the world is also pretty fucking transphobic. I plan to live in the US as an adult, which voted in Trump as president. If I do transition, I would be a trans person in a sea of transphobes, which is definitely going to be unpleasant.

1. I'm a fucking coward. Previously I mentioned that I admire trans people strongly for their courage. I don't think I can ever have that courage. I'm very obedient, I hate taking risks, and I couldn't even tell my parents that I'm shaving my body hair. If I can't even do that, how would I ever have the courage to present in a non-conforming way, let alone transition?

2. Passing. It's pretty hard for transfems to pass, from what I have heard. I'm convinced that most transfems I'm seeing on the internet are the minority that pass very well. If I transition, I'll probably be in the majority that don't pass, causing me to simply look like an ugly man in makeup and skirt. Which to me is worse than just staying cis.

3. Boobs. I don't want to have boobs. I feel like they would be uncomfortable and inconvenient. I like having a flat chest.

Because of the reasons listed above, I feel like transitioning isn't worth it and it's just better for me to be a cis guy. So even if I'm transfem "internally" it doesn't matter because I'm not gonna actually transition anyways

So yeah. My rant is over. Thank you for reading to this point. This is probably much longer than most egg_irl posts, and I'm really sorry for that.

Hello everyone, this is a bit of a rant and me putting some thoughts into words, and also asking a bit of advice 👉👈, feel free to ignore this if u want. Sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't want it to be.

So, I've never considered the idea of liking my body or enjoy beig a boy at all, to me, it wast just a bit of low self esteem, something that would pass eventually, I hate that I grow a beard, I've never thought of getting in form or something, and never really cared for fashion or anything else, also I've never been in any romantic relationship, I just never saw myself being a boyfriend to anyone.

So, as a complete shut-in that read to much romance manga, especially yuri, this meme was way to relatable, like "IK RIGHT?? wouldn't life be much better if I was a woman in a lesbian relationship??, also what's egg_irl?". So after relating to more memes in here, and doing some research I just thought "well, if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, then I guess I'm trans" just like that, no big reveal, no months of questioning, just another label on top of me.

I already enjoyed cross dressing, but I just thought it was a weird fetish of mine, I already had long hair, never really liked that school forced me to cut it short, so after breaking away from school I've been letting it grow quite a lot. Just until that, I've never connected the dots that I might be doing this unconsciously.

After a while of secretly dressing fem and getting so happy when a waitress or a barista confused me and called me a girl (I usually only go out with my mom and sister, so they usually call us girls as a collective), and my mom correcting them, one unfortunate night my mother found me wearing girl's underwear.

She had a lot of questions and while I answered I came to the conclusion that while she wouldn't be fully supportive, she wouldn't be an obstacle if I chose to transition, she told me not to do it in front of my grandparents (kinda understandable, since we were living w them at the time, and they wouldn't be supporting) and also she told me she understood how I felt, cuz she also used to think she should've been a boy.

She never did or said anything about it after that, and never really asked me again, but she still corrects waiters when they confuse me with a girl; I've never wore anything too fem, but I do prefer women's jeans and she just looks at me weird when I buy some, but tbh after she found me, I haven't enjoyed dressing fem at all, no euphoria, no looking forward to having the house for myself so i can wear a skirt, nothing.

I've gone back to thinking that it's just a phase and I'm growing out of it, I don't feel dysphoria, I thought for a while that maybe I'm non binary, tbh I don't know anymore, idk who to talk to, what to read, or where to look for. IK that looking at jt from outside the closet is made of glass, but from inside it just feels like it has always felt: normal, monochromatic, and safe. Idk if I should ask for GGD, or if I should leave and wish you all good luck.

Anyways, thanks for reading this if u did. If not, it's ok, mucho texto, some would say.

at this point, im positive its purposeful malintent.

ive talked about the idea of passing before, in that you dont HAVE to pass. its ok NOT to pass. but that the inverse is true too, meaning that its ok to WANT to pass.

this in mind, i know that most times i DO pass. i know im not that clocky. but i also know, i dont pass 100% of the time, and that "people" (transphobes) will catch that and do whatever they can to get to me and get on my case.

this is all to say, dont let "people" like that get to you. you're beautiful and transphobes will attack anything they deem not cis enough for their tastes. only they wont say cis.

idk what format this is but this is what it has been like in the past month

so i think my egg was thanos snapped yesterday but i have no clue. but like i don't feel like i'm trans but also i don't feel like i'm cis but i do feel like i'm cis like all at the same time and it's confusing aaaaa

at least my friend group is supportive :)

Never, in my entire fucking cartoon life, have I ***EVER*** been so called out by an advertisement for mattresses. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

need i say more

Like I genuinely look at myself in the mirror daily thinking “when will the changes from estrogen happen???” even though I know very well I am not on estrogen 😭 Like I don’t know why I’d expect changes from something I’m not even on but I think that goes to show how badly I wish I was on it right now. I genuinely get so sad every day that goes by that I delay me being on it because that’s one more day where the effects of it can’t even hypothetically begin to start. I AM MORE THAN READY!!! (in a cis way of course)