I found my diamond in the rough. She was everything that I was looking for. She had all the right itches in all the places I want to scratch. We talked. We listened. We made plans for the future.

While it was only a short time ago that I made my first post, it appears the feeling was not mutual. While I was smitten, she was carrying a scar that I could not see.

Today, our dynamic ended.

I received a message that was fairly ominous, but was clearly a message that she was having trouble so I reached out.

What followed was quite an astounding piece of bravery.

She indicated that she was having issues from outside our dynamic that was negatively impacting the dynamic.
We talked about steps forward, but it was pretty clear her mind was made up.
For a sub to come to her dom, and be authoritative, to be assertive and to do all of this while quite clearly on pain. That takes true bravery.

While my little one was hurting, she still was able to have the clarity to give me the one thing I asked for. Closure. Even when it pained her to do so.

So let me be clear.

This is how you do it.
If you have a problem. You speak up.
You don’t fall upon your sword. You don’t run off in to the darkness. You don’t hide and hope the problem fixes itself.
True bravery isn’t always fighting the hordes and the masses. Some times it’s the little voice in the dark, the one that whispers “enough”, even when doing so will hurt.

Our dynamic may be over, but my door has not closed. It will remain open, because of how you walked away, not in spite of it.
I’m proud of you little one. The sun will shine on you again.
I just hope to get to see it.
Good luck.

-Oh

Hi!

My partner and I have decided to try clicker training out. We're looking for ideas for training that would help me take care of myself better (such as brushing my teeth) or ideas like that, though we would not be opposed to NSFW ideas. What do ya'll have your subs clicker trained on?

Any ideas, both SFW or NSFW are appreciated.

So, I'm going to meet this really hot guy from grindr. He's a couple of years older than me, and we're going to hook up today. The thing is, he's submissive, and I'm going to be the dom top. The problem is that not only have I never dominated anyone before, but this is also only my second time topping someone. How do I do it? Any tips on how to be a good dom and top?

He asked me how I'd like him to look when he opens the door, since he's hosting and I told him to keep his clothes on because I'm going to strip him naked. He also said, “Bend me as you please in any part of the house” and “I'm free use.”

I did ask him about his boundaries and he said no restraining, no spitting. (He said he's okay with me pushing these boundaries, but only in future if we end up having some connection)

Please give me tips and tricks on how to approach this whole situation. What should I do? How should I greet him? How and where should I start? What should I do next? And what should I do after we both cum?

Honestly, any tips would help. I should also mention that he said he's interested in making this a regular, ongoing FWB situation, like sleepovers and everything.

Posting from a throwaway for privacy reasons.

I have been in several dynamics and a part of the community both in person and online for 7 years now and am pretty knowledgeable when it comes to RACK and similar basic things regarding BDSM guidelines.

The one thing I struggle with continuously is that as I grow and find out what my core/true kinks are, I find it easier to vet and tell right off the bat what my non-negotiables are and whether I'm going to click with the person or not.

It's recently been brought to my attention that I come off as a dick in my posts and as someone who only wants to get off vs form a genuine bond.

I very plainly state that I'm visual and exhibitionism is one of my core kinks that I look for when I engage with subs. That does not mean that I expect nudes right away, but it implies that visuals are important for me as is teasing. I know that is not everyone's cup of tea and I fully respect that. Comfort and safety come first.

However and I find it very unusual being called out by subs who have barely interacted with me calling me out for having preferences. Especially people who I have not previously engaged with in any way, dynamics or otherwise.

I feel like submissives do not understand the effect an emotional bond has in such a connection and the difference it makes vs "just porn" and they often mix the two.

I feel that part of our responsibility as doms is to educate as well as to care for our submissives while safely exploring sexuality, so I'm looking for ways to convey that no kinks should be judged or are less acceptable than something else.