r/cringereels • u/Cultural_Fall_3255 • 18h ago

Choreographer & Performance Artist

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881 Upvotes

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137

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 18h ago

People pay to watch this stuff too. My wife was trying to cozy up to some artsy types and they dragged her to something like this where someone was portraying the irony of capitalism and its slavery with an actual iron and ironing board.

200 dollars a seat to watch some angry college grad iron clothes in varying states of frenzy and proficiency. Even asked for audience members clothing and ruined some. Folks werent even angry... when she told me all about this I lost a little more faith in humanity.

84

u/that_dutch_dude 18h ago

sounds like she got to experience the irony of capitalism.

18

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 18h ago

Oh 100% I laughed at it all for a couple days everytime I saw pressed shirts.

1

u/oops_banana 7h ago

Maybe that was the point all along

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 7h ago

Well either way she made friends with some airhead yuppies and I got an interesting story to share hahahah.

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u/terminaloptimism 15h ago

I watched someone get kicked in the nuts by a bald lady in a harness while he was wearing an adult diaper then shit himself. This performance piece cost ten bucks per ticket.

https://giphy.com/gifs/5zbMgry8oQsvIaC0sU

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u/Intrepid_Bobcat_2931 13h ago

I mean online it's ten bucks per minute

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u/terminaloptimism 5h ago

So what you're saying is I got a wicked deal?

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u/WasabiLiving6465 11h ago

Damn, and I’ve been letting people watch me shit my pants for free this whole time?!

1

u/terminaloptimism 5h ago

Capitalize and maximize bro. Know your worth.

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u/ChronicsThumbtack 8h ago

This comment is the reason I have reddit 😂

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u/terminaloptimism 5h ago

For your amusement, this guy also stapled himself and forced himself to puke while the bald lady read from a document which listed all of the legal cases/acts helping advance women's rights. He also kept pouring milk over himself. This was the preamble to the scrotal assault and bowel release. Going into this I had no clue what I was about to witness aside from maybe some bullshit like OP posted.

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u/shagan90 17h ago

Growing up I did work on some rich folks 'farm' (pet project more like), and they would routinely go to this event where the grass is painted with a checker board pattern, each square numbered (A1, B6, etc.), and a cow let loose on this patch. They would literally bet money on which square the cow would shit in first, and they fucking loved it.

Rich people do weird shit with their money

6

u/ViaVitoV 17h ago

I could get into that!!

2

u/MostlyLurking-Mostly 17h ago

That's not even really a rich people thing, they just saw rich farmers doing it.

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u/brainzilla420 16h ago

100% this is has been at every fair I've ever been to in Vermont.

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u/SameasmyPIN1077 17h ago

If you already have a cow and a farm, that feels like some good cheap fun. Go all out and make it a big silly overhyped event. I'd attend that shit.

2

u/shagan90 17h ago

I just dont see paying to sit and drink and watch a cow take a shit.

1

u/Crypticcrypto 16h ago

You are not paying to watch. You put up money in hopes of winning more with a lucky shitty guess.

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u/shagan90 15h ago

They already had fuck you money lol 😆 but I guess gambling is fun even if you're already wealthy.

1

u/Crypticcrypto 15h ago

I would argue it is much more fun. A super wealthy person does not usually end up crying in the parking lot after taking a loss.

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 17h ago

Cow patty bingo.

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u/shagan90 17h ago

This is not a unique thing? Good lord lol

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 17h ago

I'm 78, this has existed all my life.

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u/Stunning_Solution215 17h ago

And also not for just rich people. They do that at my county fair and its like a 10 dollar buy in

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 16h ago

It's a rural thing. County fairs, special events, at farm zoos.

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u/shagan90 16h ago

Well that's interesting, thanks

1

u/BayouDuBois 10h ago

We call it chicken drop in Cajun country.

1

u/lollipop1233a 10h ago

Better odds than a roulette wheel.

1

u/WambritaWings 4h ago

This is called Cow Patty BINGO. I can assure you that poor people also love it.

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u/littlemizcantbewrong 4h ago

It’s called Cow Patty Bingo. It’s a popular event at rodeos.

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u/Ghosty_Boo-B00 17h ago

These are the people that buy bananas taped to walls for obscene money.

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u/plantborb 17h ago

No these are the people that make the banana taped to the wall. Rich people laundering their money and hiding assets buy it. This gives the banana taper more clout and (kinda hilariously) proves their point to less nuanced observers.

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u/ExtendoArmCannon 18h ago

Remember that these are the same people who shout "Read more theory" while pretending to be smarter than everyone else in the room.

4

u/Mountain-Singer1764 18h ago

It's notable when people keep telling you to 'read Lenin' but they never actually quote or explain any of his theories.

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u/unlikely_spider 17h ago

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one

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u/TheRobbuddha 17h ago

One of my favorite Lenin quotes

3

u/_J_Herrmann_ 17h ago

happiness is a warm gun.

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u/AreWeThereYetNo 17h ago

That’s not Lenin. It’s Gal Gadot

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u/accents_ranis 17h ago

Well, the author of those words actually read Lenin.

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u/AstroPygmy 18h ago

Pfft, try Dostoyevsky whilst imprisoned, poseur!

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u/Responsible_Mode3663 17h ago

I am the walrus.

1

u/awsunion 15h ago

No it isn't. The people in that room were just bored and looking for something offbeat.

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u/Horror_Garbage_9888 17h ago

They charged 200 bucks to shit on capitalism?

3

u/Your_Girl9090 15h ago

Isn't that ironic? 😅

1

u/AbjectHotel6610 10h ago

Dontcha think?

2

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 17h ago

That's how starving artists can afford to starve. They get 2 or 3 pay offs a year and coast on it.

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u/TumbleweedNo4678 17h ago

I've seen this thing where people paid to fill a stadium to watch dudes throw a rubber ball into a metal ring. They did it over and over again and everybody got all excited about it.

2

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 17h ago

I get your point, people can be entertained in any number of ways.

I'm personally against professional athletes making millions a year for doing what they used to do for free and with more passion.

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u/TaiStreetsAhead 14h ago

So are you against professional sports existing at all or do you think the owners should make all the money and the players should play for peanuts? Because personally, I've never paid $200 to sit in an arena and watch Mat Ishbia brick jumpshots.

0

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 14h ago

I think the pay shouldnt be as lucrative and that the revenue should be funneled back into the cities that support the teams. You know that many cities invest heavily into supporting teams by offering incentives and such. It would be nice if that high level of profits went back into the cities to help fund sports programs, help the low income families that spend their last 20 dollars buying a hat with their teams logo for their child's christmas gift, building infrastructure and the like.

I'm by no means a communist or socialist, I just believe that greed for oneself only breeds contempt. I take 10% of the profits for each of my businesses to pocket, 20% is reinvested and the rest is put into profit sharing and bonuses. This is a sustainable business model that rewards the workers for their hard work and dedication.

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u/TaiStreetsAhead 13h ago

Are you advocating for keeping ticket and concession prices just as high to generate the same amount of revenue teams currently gain? Or are you saying the prices should be lowered as well as the player salaries?

Also, I assume you mean profit and not revenue.

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 13h ago

That's more of a toss, every business knows that if people are willing to pay then that's what you should charge. If people paying 11 dollars for a 30 cent hotdog see it as a charitable donation to their city then all the better. They say a fool and their money soon part. As for ticket prices if I were to have one change it's that once every few years free tickets are distributed to folks so they can attend once. Either that or schedule extra exhibition games each year and allow free entry.

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u/TaiStreetsAhead 13h ago

every business knows that if people are willing to pay then that's what you should charge.

...except professional athletes though, right?

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 12h ago

Yes, you have to be realistic. CEOs that manage tens of thousands of employees arent walking away with 100mil after 8 years. You can keep playing the "oh wont someone please think of these poor professional athletes" but it's not a song I'm going to dance to.

1

u/Own_Butterscotch_129 cřingè papa 17h ago

Not everybody

1

u/TumbleweedNo4678 16h ago

I'm not really trying to bash on basketball or people that enjoy sports. I'm just pointing out that what we enjoy is all relative. I know people that hate sports and people that love it. But who cares- let them enjoy it. As far as performance art and art in general I will say the goal is sometimes to combine things in new ways to create a visual or experience that is completely unique. A classic example is Marcel Duchamp's Bicycle Wheel that is at MOMA. It's just two ordinary things stuck together in a new way and to my eyes- it is fun and interesting and forces us to question what art really is. But in the end, most great things that we enjoy and are entertained by are derived from a creator who thought about trying something new.

1

u/LiveMarionberry3694 17h ago

Well one thing takes a high level of skill and years of dedication

0

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 16h ago

So does high pressure welding, being a surgeon, pilot, watch maker, and dozens if not hundreds of other more necessary careers.

Someone plays baseball for 6 years of school goes pro starts making 30k a game couple years later they are making 600k a game. There are thousands of other people who have necessary skills and dedication and help the world function that even 30k a month of 6 day a week 14hr days would be more appropriate.

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u/LiveMarionberry3694 16h ago

Cool, but we’re talking about skilled positions that people enjoy watching. It’s the combination of both things that sports has.

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 16h ago

As we scroll reddit watching people do the dumbest shit or watch people watching the dumbest shit...

0

u/LiveMarionberry3694 16h ago

I’m not really paying anything extra or going out of my way to do so. You keep missing these nuances

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 16h ago

Folks are making money off this though, just like folks do on youtube and tictoc and sports. You think the athletes pay comes from the seat sales? Television, radio, sponsorship ads, cameos and endorsements, selling merch etc.

0

u/LiveMarionberry3694 16h ago

Again, I’m not paying anything extra or going out of my way. That’s the difference

2

u/ChurchOfTheEUC 17h ago

I mean ... that's exactly what they did right? Portray the irony of capitalism.

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u/Critical_Classic_921 16h ago

If I had the time and the inclination I’d troll rich dilettantes by putting on an “art” show where I paint pictures with my balls or fart in a jar or something.

1

u/Colhinchapelota 16h ago

The ironing of capitalism is never done.

1

u/weveyline 16h ago

Lap that shit up

1

u/GingerWitch666 16h ago

Wow, that sounds a little... ironic.

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 16h ago

Very on the nose to say the least.

1

u/Your_Girl9090 15h ago

The levels of irony in this story are complex. 😅

1

u/improvization 15h ago

First thing I thought was "this better be free" lol

1

u/agawl81 13h ago

Is that any worse than seeing a stand up guy who insults half the population or a concert where you can’t see cause you’re too far back and can’t hear the artist because people think they need to sing along?

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 13h ago

To each their own. My wife has plans to make me attend a concert at a public venue next year. I'm quite opposed for those reasons.

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u/BungleBums 13h ago

I feel like it's the duty of the audience to laugh and jeer when Performance Art turns into a farce like that. Like. Yes, I'm sure there's such deep and impacting meaning in this imagery that you wept when you came up with it. It's still a shitty idea, poorly presented, and badly recieved, that should have stayed in your journal, and it sounds like that line would have gotten more approval than the entire performance.

Some people might say this would be a stifling of the creative spirit, but from the perspective of a gardener, you pull weeds out if you want the flowers to have room to grow.

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u/Shane-Dad-underfire 13h ago

You're not wrong. I find that folks are a little too tolerant of foolishness now a days. But I'm an old man and when I was young anything not already existing was considered pretty unrealistic and foolish

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u/BungleBums 13h ago

It is damned hard to try and remain flexible and open while holding a bonk-hammer in the other hand. But, dang, at the very least, the audacity of charging people to see this kinda nonsense. That didn't take years of training under masters, or long hours of intense refinement and soul-searching to come up with, that looks more like something they came up with when they realized they needed rent money in two days, you know?

2

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 12h ago

It does reek of uncoordinated desperation hahhahah

1

u/EvilDrPorkChop01 12h ago

But the real idiots are the people who paid
To watch this clown show.

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 12h ago

They say a fool and their money soon part.

I remember when I came back from Bosnia there was a lot of beggers on the street corners and there was two men busking not too far from them. Their act was terrible, they were uncoordinated and not much cleaner than the beggars. People were stopping to give them a significant amount of money. I remember even giving them a twenty myself. To me it seemed better to give money to folks who are at least trying something than giving it to folks who didnt even hold up a sign but just laid/leaned nearby their sign.

1

u/p-at--t-er--n 10h ago

200 dollars a seat to watch some angry college grad iron clothes in varying states of frenzy and proficiency.

College tuition will not pay for itself.

1

u/lollipop1233a 10h ago

Did the person brand themselves or just iron clothes?

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 10h ago

Ironing clothes while getting angrier and sloppy and eventually rushing or burning the garments including clothes from the audience. From what my wife said. Clearly it left an impression and it was to parallel how capitalism makes folks feel like slaves and such.

1

u/This_Site_Sux 8h ago

As someone that has been to wayyy too many of these kinds of events. I have never in my life heard of an event charging anywhere even remotely close to that. Even at major galleries.

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 8h ago

Exclusivity is what drives prices. Why do folks buy million dollar paintings? So only they can view it. I never understood why all those nazi we killed were hoarding art. I asked one before he was executed and he said it was to keep it out of the hands of the (censored)

1

u/This_Site_Sux 8h ago

Meh, agree to disagree. That's not really how the art world works and I really don't believe the 200$ ticket to watch bad performance art story, but you do you 🤙

0

u/UseYourNogginBrother 15h ago

Do they ask for tips too?

0

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 15h ago

Collection receptacles are probably present for tips or appreciation donations.