For context, I am a bi-woman in a straight passing relationship with a bi-romantic asexual man. I spent most of my 20s dating women, but found my person in a man. Dating was hard as most of the people in the circles I was in were lesbians who constantly told me that I “wasn’t gay enough.” Our area Pride celebration is this weekend and several acquaintances have made it known to me that I should not attend with my husband, as it’s passing privilege and this needs to be a space for “actually queer people.” I was told if I wanted to come, that I shouldn’t with my husband because it “comes across as performative” and no one takes bi people in “straight” marriages seriously and that it’s a bad look for the community. How do I even respond to this? I thought this community was supposed to be supportive and welcoming and now I don’t even know where I feel at home.

I'll try to get right to the point. I'm a 30 something F in a nearly 10 year relationship with a 30 something M who recently shared he's bisexual. The reason he finally shared this with me was because I haven't been able to fully trust him again(after finding out he kept texting an ex after I let him know it made me uncomfortable) and I decided to go through his browser history and found out he's been on Sniffies (dating app) for who knows how long.

I know I shouldn't have been snooping but lately I feel like I can't ignore my intuition. The messages I found honestly felt like the nail in a long awaited coffin. Not only nudes but a few pics with his face in them? He even got somebody's address which was closeby his job. I first thought of pretending I hadn't seen/didn't know anything, but he noticed I was upset.

When I finally confronted him about the messages, he kept trying to deny what I had already seen. The conversation basically ended with him explaining he was embarrassed to tell me about his sexuality and me still upset at the fact he got someone's address and was sharing pictures of himself.

A last bit of context: I found out he wasn't hetero after also coming across things he had been hiding from me, which were in a way connected to an ex.

If you've made it this far, I appreciate it. Now...would you consider this cheating on his part?

Update: Idk how I forgot to include this, but he said he was on the app for the thrill of it basically and hasn't actually met up with anyone...

Any question is a good question. 😁

Sigh. I’m not bitter or resentful, I swear. People can like who they like for whatever reasons they want. But…man…it would be nice to be able to bring my full self to relationships and have that seen as a good thing. Anyway, just a prayer to the universe!

Hi! Turns out after 14 years of MF marriage, I like blowing well endowed guys and semen play… weird. Never crossed my mind. Anyway, this is me and I want to say hi

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As a bi person, i kinda like this girl right now, but i kinda wanna know you guys opinion, what COUNTS as a first time having sex, cause i'm scared if i do it with a girl and i tell friends i did my first time, they're gonna assume its a man... im kinda stuck cause i like men, im not a lesbian so they won't know it's a woman and idk people forget women count as a body...

I’m a very inexperienced woman who is primarily attracted to men, but I am wondering if I’ll feel like I missed out if I get on a dating app or something and find a guy for a long term relationship.

I’ve noticed this a few times: when you realize you’re bisexual—after having spent years focusing exclusively on one gender—do you find yourselves shifting your focus toward the opposite gender?

I’m 15M bi and I guess I’m just posting here because I don't really know who else to talk to about this, and I want to know if anyone else has gone through the same thing or has any advice on how to handle it.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m split into two completely different people. There’s the version of me that my family and friends at school see the guy who laughs at all the normal jokes, talks about whatever, and acts totally fine. Then there’s the actual me, who spends half his energy constantly monitoring everything he says, how he walks, how he stands, and who he looks at so nobody suspects anything.

It’s honestly exhausting. It’s not even that my friends or family are super anti-LGBTQ+ or anything, but every time guys at school talk about girls or dating, I just have to nod along and pretend, or risk awkward questions. I catch myself constantly checking my own body language just to make sure I’m not giving anything away.

The hardest part is feeling really lonely even when I’m surrounded by people I like. It feels like nobody actually knows me, just the character I’m playing every day. I know I’m still young and I have time to figure out coming out when I’m ready, but right now, keeping up the act feels like a full-time job.

Does the anxiety of "monitoring yourself" all the time ever fade? How do you deal with feeling isolated when you’re not ready to come out yet, but hate pretending?

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any advice or just knowing I’m not the only one would mean a lot

I’m a 22 year old trans guy and I’ve been on testosterone for the past 6 years and not until year 2 was I starting to notice that I was becoming attracted to men. I shoved it down and just ignored it for the longest time but whenever I become excited especially they’re all I can think about. I have been with women and liked women (don’t get me wrong I still do) I don’t know where this is coming from and it’s getting tot he point where I don’t want to hide it anymore and it’s getting worse. Being with a guy makes me nervous and something I have never done before. I know I’m talking it up to be this big scary thing and I know it’s not but this shit is confusing. I want a bf or at least an experience with a guy. Anyone else go through this?

i’m going to try keep this short because last time i posted ppl were so mad at me for this idk why but i still need advice. basically ive been with my bf for about 4- 4 & 1/2 years. which is yes, a long time. but lately ive been really stuck on what my problem is when it comes to even the most basic intimacy with my bf. (ive spoken to him about it already he’s not in the dark). and he doesn’t know why either. i love my bf, i think he is incredibly physically attractive and physically, too good for me. it’s NOT at all that ithink he’s unattractive but even kissing him for long periods of time feels like a chore sometimes.

he loves physical touch whether it’s just wholesome stuff or not, but we have never gone all the way because i have never been ready for it especially considering we got together so young. and he completely respects that. also i feel like everything we have done has this awkward element because again, we were so young and both kinda terrible at everything so that stresses me out further. sometimes i change between wanting to go all the way and absolutely dreading it because i feel like im getting older and im kinda expected to amongst my demographic if that makes sense. also if it helps ive had dreams about it and also dreams about it with women so ive accepted to myself that im atleast bi.

basically, idk if im asexual, lesbian?? (more unlikely i feel) or there’s just an issue with our relationship bcz we got together so young and did stuff so young i have this added pressure to be perfect. or maybe im just scared because obviously im still a virgin so maybe im scared of the pain or something going badly i also have realised lately that it may just be my horrible self esteem because i feel horrible about how i look 24/7 and he always tries to reassure me. but i try to not bring it up to him too much because i don’t want to be draining. i don’t know what it is. if anyone has had a similar experience lmk please!

I’ll be visiting later this month looking for recommendations on decent hotel with a bar and any local establishments I should visit that is more our vide
Thanks

Ok I'm 18M and like a lot of guys here ive been straight my whole life. I've had expereinces with women that's all good. I've also always been that frined that makes loads of gay jokes, and because of it for a loooong time ive gotten gay allegations, most jokingly but i have been paused by my friends and genuinly aksed if I am attracted to them. I've always said no, and my answer is still no. I don't think this aspect has a lot to do with what im struggling with rn, but worth mentioning i guess.

Well since about a year ago the idea of me being attracted to certain men has been floating in my head, and doesn't feel completely unnatural. Weirdly its mainly anime men, like gojo, geto or sanji ifkyk. The problem is that when it comes to real life I extremely rarely see a guy and think 'oh shit' in that way. In fact it's maybe only been about two or three times fr. It's this specific aspect that's messing with me so much, cause even though in a way i feel kinda bi, in practice its rarely feel it. Like at work I work with a lot of guys and not once do i feel aattraction towards them, and i don't feel the constant slight pressure to impress men like most straight guys do with women. Idk I guess it can feel like I'm faking it or that I just want to be bi and am not actually. Also, the fact that im pretty straight presenting makes it harder to fully accept it and I'm also 6'6 and go to the gym so I have a decent build so I'm way bigger than most guys, even the ones that i have found somewhat genuinly attractive, which gets in the way of what i would want when with another guy which would be to feel more relaxed and not have my guard up, unlike when i am with a woman i am attracted to. I guess i just want peoples views on it, and some advice on how to move forward, and wethers its ok to be like 5% into guys 95% into women or something like that?

Thank you

Few points of interest:
- I have bisexual friends telling me that to them I am clearly in denial HAHAHAH
- I have pecked a guy friend whilst drunk on various instances

- I have fantasized about getting with guys, wether that be having sex or just making out, but when I look around at real guys I don't super rarely see anyone I'd actually want to do that with

For who don't know: I am heteroromantical bisexual who is sexually attracted to male and female but only feel romantic attraction to male

I'm 27 and only recently started realizing (or maybe finally being brave enough to admit it lol) that I might be bisexual.

I feel like a part of me always knew deep down, I've always been super close with my female best friends and craved that emotional and physical intimacy with them. With one of my friends, we actually became friends after we were making out drunk😂

Then I fell in love with my ex-bestie, for the first time ever. Like as soon as I saw her I felt like I'm losing my mind about her. I never really saw it that way or allowed myself to admit it at the time (tbh the thought kinda scared me), I explained it away like "we're just affectionate and super close" etc. but emotionally I felt like we were dating. And now looking back, it's pretty obvious lol. She was actually my "gay awakening" and the biggest love of my life (also my biggest heartbreak).

The funny thing is, despite all this, I have literally zero experience with girls besides drunk kissing. So I'm in this weird place where I'm figuring out my sexuality at 27 and have absolutely no idea where to start 😂 Also, I saw many posts where people said online "turning gay late" is a big no for them. I'm quite confused tbh.

I'd love to hear from other girls who figured this out in their mid/late 20s or even later. Did you always kind of know? Was there a specific person who made you realize? And how did you navigate actually exploring that side of yourself?

Just looking to hear some stories and maybe connect with girls who can relate 🫶

So, the thing is I’m 20M and lowkey desperate to have a sexual experience. The thing is, however, I’ve never even kissed anyone and I really don’t want my first time to be with a guy. So, where do I find guys who’d be down to do stuff besides anal sex and kissing?

Is something I thought I would never type out. 32M I thought most of my adult life that I was bi but leaning more straight, and that I would experience the bi cycle in varying degrees over the years.

That was until a few months ago when I had an 'epiphany' and since then I feel like my brain is rewiring itself, women are literally becoming less attractive and men more which I didn't notice during the bi cycle before (my attraction to women wouldn't go away but my gayness would increase). Currently I have very little attraction or desire to be with a women and all I can think about is being with men

So now I'm thinking back and questioning the bi cycles and wondering if it was just repressed gay feelings bubbling up to the surface all along?

I'm a bisexual with a male preference, but am a heteroromantic who wants to be a father some day. If any of you are parents, do you ever tell your kids about your sexuality? How do you approach sexuality to kids who are often too young to fully understand it?

I know that I am attracted to men as a female because my stomach swoops and I get overly awkward/flustered but I have grown up primarily around women and I do not get the same anxious and giddy feeling that I get around men towards women even though I can find them attractive and be interested in them. Is this normal or is it a sign that I am actually not attracted to women? I feel like I should get the same ‘butterflies’ that I get around men but I don’t know if it’s just because I am not really used to interacting with men as often as women.

I F19 am bisexual, I grew up in a conservative Catholic family. I originally came out to my mom at 15 but slowly she pushed me back in the closet. She didn’t know about my girlfriend, even though she knew I was bi. After that going horribly wrong (on my mother’s end) I chose to only date men. But recently I have been feeling more attraction to women than men.

I no longer live with my mom anymore and so it isn’t a problem but I don’t want any women I date to meet her. I live with my aunt and uncle who are accepting of me so I could bring her home if I so chose, but I worry about what will happen when I do finally tell my mom. Should I risk it and date women anyways or just not bother?

So I'm a bi dude. It took me a little while to fully accept that and I came to that conclusion a little later than some (mid 30's.) Part of what took me so long is how different my attractions towards men feels than my attraction to women. I fully accept there are countless ways to "be bi" and none are more or less valid than others.

With all that said, I feel weird that I have zero interest in kissing guys. I have interest in doing all kinds of other things with men and have always absolutely loved kissing women, but the idea of making out with guys does nothing for me. I'd like to think I've grown past any internalized homophobia, but that would be the easiest explanation.

I am curious if anyone has similar experiences though.

In high school I thought I was a lesbian, I dated women, have slept with many women, and just loved gals. Early in college I tried dating guys and honestly it wasn’t so bad. I liked that there were a lot more of them available statistically. I’m from a rural Midwest area, the dating scene is kinda bleak for queer people.

For the last couple years I’ve pretty much stopped dating women altogether. I think they’re beautiful and I’m attracted to them from time to time but I just don’t have a strong urge to date them. I find I have more fulfilling relationships dating men nowadays.

Idk if anyone else has been through something similar but does this mean I’m actually straight after all?

Genuinely losing my mind, with a guy for 7 months and he finally dumps me because he quote on quote “wants to be with a straight girl”. He has known the whole time I’m bisexual.

The last time I was with a woman too, she wanted to be with someone exclusively with women (at least she didn’t wait 7 months to tell me). I feel like there’s no winning.

Just a rant I guess. I’m kind of fuming.

I’m in a long term open relationship and I’m interested in women too but unsure about it for myself
What should I do?