Before anyone comes for my throat, I swear on my life I wasn't snooping. We’ve been seeing each other for about two months and everything felt really sweet and normal. I stayed over at his place last night. Twenty minutes ago he hopped in the shower and left his iPad unlocked on teh coffee table right in front of me with the Notes app wide open.

The title of the note was literally just my first name followed by "Pros & Cons". My eyes caught it before my brain could stop me.

Under Pros he wrote: "Makes amazing breakfast, very affectionate, great laugh, reliable." But under Cons he wrote: "Drives a beat-up 2012 Honda Civic, sneezes way too loud, calves are kinda small, talks about his dog too much."

i am currently sitting here frozen listening to the shower run. I dont even know whether to burst out laughing or pack my duffel bag and climb out his living room window. On one hand it’s kinda hilarious that he’s this neurotic, but on the other hand it feels insane to date someone who is literally auditing my personality and leg muscles on an iPad. Do I confront him when he walks out with a towel or do I just pretend I’m blind?

Boring update

I went over to his house before school. His mum was leaving for work when I came so she let me in. I just asked him why he was being such a prick all along. He did not want to talk about it.

He eventually said he did not want whispers and gossip from the class/school if he sat next to a guy or walked beside a guy. He said hanging around with girls stopped people gossiping.

I didn't sit next to him at school because of what he had said.

My gf sat next to me for a few classes. She said her friends and he were chatting and they asked him what guy he had a crush on. Apparently, he said he had a crush on me. She said she stuck up for me. She called him a predator because he hung out with me, sleepovers etc without me knowing he had a crush.

I went back to his house after school and I just said I am straight straight but I do not really care about the crush thing and I do not really care if people gossip because we sit next to each other. He did admit he had a crush on me.

We did play a few games and I went home. I said sit next to me in school tomorrow. No idea if he will sit next to me in school tomorrow. Up to him. But I did like playing EA FC with him

Thanks for the advice and for encouraging me.

I know this probably sounds completely juvenile coming from a 28-year-old grown man, but I’ve been kicking myself all morning and I don't know who else to ask about this.

I’ve been seeing this guy for about six weeks. He’s genuinely incredible, super grounded, patient, and completely out and comfortable with himself. I came out pretty late (around 25) after growing up in a very religious small town so while my close friends know, I’ve never actually had a public relationship before.

Last night we went to Trader Joe’s to grab ingredients to cook dinner at my place. As we were walking back to teh car around 8:30 PM, he just naturally reached over and laced his fingers into mine. Instead of just holding his hand like a normal person on a date, my entire body went rigid. I literally flinched, looked over both shoulders to see who was watching, and pulled my hand back into my jacket pocket before my brain could even stop me.

The look on his face crushed me. He gave a quiet "oh sorry" and put his hands in his pockets too. The drive home was painfully quiet. i apologized at dinner and explained it was just a stupid reflex, and he said it was fine, but the vibe definitely shifted. Does that hyper-vigilance ever actually go away, or did I just ruin something good because I can't get over my own internalized garbage?

Found out my partner of over a year was cheating on me with multiple different guys, consistently, from the very start.

It feels surreal, the level of lies he had to have kept up makes me genuinely sick.

It’s really shattered my perception of trust.
I feel stupid, naive and really, deeply, disappointed.

I kicked him out my house, he texted me saying he didn’t feel enough for me (as an explanation as to why) & still loved me & our relationship means/ meant everything to him… I told him I thought he was disgusting and have blocked him.

I’ve been through break ups before, I know with time it gets better, but any advice from people who have experienced such betrayal would be appreciated.

Thank you.

My boyfriend has like a 7-inch dick (i think) but THICK. I'm only 5'7 and I think sex hasn't been super great because I'm so tight even if I'm trying stretches and doing p*ppers. He enjoys getting head a lot, but when I do it I really go at it, then he cums and I'm like uh okay one of us finished. I don't think he'd be opposed to giving me head if I wanted, but I don't enjoy it as much. So when we're not having hard sex I'm not usually getting off (even though I think it's hot just making him cum)

im 5'1 and im insecure as hell about it i cant lie. vented about it to my friend recently and she said that im lucky im not straight cause id have issues with dating. yall fw short dudes?

So, I’m 31 and the truth is that I’ve never really had much sex up to this point. I’m a lot more comfortable just masturbating and enjoying myself. And I was curious, how common is it for other gay guys to live like that, regardless of age?

So I saw a recent post about this topic, and he made me remember an experience I had this past summer.

I met this hunk type over Instagram and physically, he is absolutely my type.

But while we were chatting in the DM's he was saying to me how much he likes my ass and how he likes how big it is. Which I was flattered by, but then he asked me "did you poop today?" I reply and say "no". He proceeded to ask me "well, when was the last time you did?" I said "idk" and tried changing the subject. He then brings it back to talking about poop again and asks me if I can film myself and send it to him. Needless to say I blocked him.

It sucks cause physically he was perfect and he was handsome. But his obsession with poop made me utterly sick.

If you're openly gay, and your friend knows that, and you know for sure that he's straight, please don't confess your feelings to him. Don't make things awkward or put either of you in that position.

Things will change after that. Even if you both manage to work things out, your friendship won't stay the same, because you were the one who couldn't let it stay the same.

And if things do change, that doesn't mean they're bad friends. Not everyone can handle being romantically liked by someone they thought was just a friend, with no other intentions.

If you genuinely value your friendship and want to maintain it, it's better to try to move on from your feelings.

And this isn't exclusive to gay guys. The same goes for girls who develop feelings for their gay friends, or straight guys who fall for their lesbian friends. In all these cases, the other person can't reciprocate those feelings, and you have to understand that.

Of course, this isn't a universal rule. There will always be people who don't mind and can still maintain the same friendship afterward. But that's a small percentage, and I don't think it's worth risking a friendship over that possibility.

It's much nicer to tell them that you used to have a crush on them, rather than confessing while you're still actively in love with them.

title says it all

I'm 33 (M), a physician, and I also teach at a medical university. Coming from a conservative family background, I've worked hard to get where I am, and I'm proud of it.

Three years ago, on my birthday, I came out to my mom. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was crying and terrified of how she'd react.

It went badly. At first she said it wasn't true and I was just imagining it. She didn't sleep that night. The next day she cried, then suggested taking me somewhere to be "treated." Then she said it was a shame after everything I'd achieved. If I were a construction worker or a shepherd, at least it wouldn't be such a disgrace, but why did it have to happen to me of all people. She also said that if my brother and his wife found out, they wouldn't let me near their kids. She blamed a couple of relatives who already knew for "stabbing her in the back."

For a while she didn't call or text me at all. Then there was a period where she became very controlling and insisted I come home every week and stay only with her. I was 30.

I kept telling myself she was in shock and would come around with time.

Now, three years later, she never mentions it. Not once. It's as if the conversation never happened. I have a serious boyfriend she's never asked about.

The thing is, my mom has always loved me, and she still does. She's caring and interested in everything in my life, except that part. That's what I can't wrap my head around. Life is short. As a doctor I see every day how fast it can end. How could she not stop and think: "My son opened his heart to me. A 30-year-old man broke down crying in front of me. He must have suffered and hidden this for years." How has that thought never made her reach out, ask a question, try to understand? I understood the shock at first. But three years of silence I just can't understand.

My dad and my brother don't know. I honestly have no idea how they'd react, though I know my brother doesn't approve of "these things." He sometimes asks when I'm getting married and having kids, and part of me wants to just tell him everything. But we're not that close, and I'm not sure I want to put myself through something like that again. Is there even a point?

I've been to therapy and talked to friends, and I'm living my life. I'm not falling apart. But it still sits with me. When I visit my family (they live in another city), I feel trapped and my self-confidence drops. I've stopped going as often. Friends of mine came out to their moms, who also went through shock but eventually said "you're my son and I love you as you are." That never happened for me.

I'm not really asking what to do. I'm just curious how others see this whole situation. How would you read my mom's behavior? Have any of you been through something similar?

Hey, I'm a bottom, but I don't feel any physical pleasure from anal sex. All the pleasure I get from being a bottom comes from making the other guy feel good. It's entirely psychological for me.

However, I'd really like to experience physical pleasure from anal sex too. Do you guys have any tips or suggestions? I've even tried going a week without masturbating to see if that would make a difference, but it didn't change anything.

(I recently started having sex again after years of not being with anyone. During that time alone, I probably stimulated myself anally fewer than five times. To make matters worse, I'm taking desvenlafaxine, which has lowered my libido and reduced my sexual pleasure overall.)

Genuinely curious what everyone has stuck up there ass.

Me not that long ago I was scrolling tru tik tok and there was this business page that offers remote jobs near my area . And the guy on the video offering the jobs was hot 🔥 , and I just jokingly commented i don't want a job I just want u too Crack me , also I was drunk so I regretted it afterwards , and when I was sobered up and I went to erase my comment cuz I was like dam that's so embarrassing. I already had a message from him . I said I was sorry i was drunk n he said it was OK. Then we started talking more , he said he had a girlfriend. I was like aww dam . But then he was like can u host ? Haha. I said yes , he came over it was probably the best sex ive had with anyone till now. He actually still comes over once in a while when he has time and fucks me . We became good friends we even drank at my place already.

Red delicious apples… are the worst right?
My husband picked up groceries (I’m the shopper usually.)

What’s the community like think?

I feel kinda shitty admitting this, but lately I've been getting jealous of my straight friends and how easy dating seems for them. Not saying they don't have problems, obviously they do, but at least they have actual options.

One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago and he's already been on like 5 dates. Another one met a girl at the gym and they're seeing each other now. Meanwhile I've been on Grindr and Tinder for what feels like forever, talking to the same 20 guys who either want to hook up immediately or disappear after two conversations. And before anyone says it, yes, I do go out and meet people outside of apps. It's just not that simple when you can't even tell if a guy is gay half the time.

The worst part is listening to my straight friends complain about having too many matches or not knowing which girl to ask out. I know they're not trying to be annoying but jesus christ, I'd love to have that problem for once.

I'm 26 and I've only had one serious relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just doing somthing wrong or if dating as a gay guy really is this frustrating for everyone.

Does anyone else get jealous of straight people sometimes? I feel like an asshole even asking.

Hey guys, so I’ve been dating this guy for about a month now, and he told me he’s HIV positive but undetectable (U=U).
We’ve only done stuff like kissing, hugging, handjobs, and I’ve sucked his nipples and fingered him. We haven’t had sex yet.
I’m the top and he’s the bottom. I wanna try more things with him, but honestly, I’m a bit scared about the HIV part. He says he’s undetectable, but I don’t know if I can trust that blindly since we’ve only been dating for a month. I also don’t wanna take PrEP right now.
I’m not judging him or anything, I just wanna be careful and understand the risks before doing anything.
So I wanted to ask:
1. Is it safe to get a blowjob from him without a condom?
2. Is rimming him safe?
3. Can I top him with a condom? Is that safe?
I’d appreciate some honest advice, especially from people who’ve been in this situation. I like this guy, but I also wanna make sure I’m not putting my health at risk.

I'm 18yo and I would like to instal it but firt of all I would like to here your's story

My boyfriend (30) and I (29) have been together for a year now and the sex has been nothing short of amazing. No complaints, well until now.

So lately the sex has been a little different, not bad but something feels off and I’ll explain the patterns I’ve picked
up on.

1). First the last maybe two times I’ve noticed that my boyfriend went soft while he was inside which has never happened before. The first time he immediately started kissing me and fondling my nips and got hard again and both simultaneously climaxed. But it was just interesting bc that had never been an issue.

2). The second thing, is my boyfriend is very verbal when he climaxes, like to the point where the neighbors know my name. Recently, he hasn’t been as verbal and the only way I’ve knew that he came was after asking lol. Also, usually after sex we’re both panting and sweating and shaking, but that also has not been the case.

How do I go about this bc as a retired over-thinker, my alarm bells are raised a little bit and I know that conversations about intimacy are very uncomfortable and I don’t want it to come across as if I’m critiquing his performance bc that is not the case. I really want to figure out what the root cause, if there even is one, so we can maybe make some changes.

I do see myself spending the rest of my life with him and and I would hate for this to spiral into a bigger issue and he leaves me or cheats on me because I am not satisfying his needs.

Edited: for grammar and clarity.

Am I strange for using my foreskin to hold back the juice when jerking off in my room?

To add context: Im more of a "shooter" than a "dripper". So it creates a mess in my whole room if I just let it shoot. When im jerking in my room I mostly just grab my foreskin really tight and all the juice is pumped into that newly formed space.

Am I weird for that? Or are there other guys using that as well?

For those in relationship ,could you share how you met your partner and how long you are together

My boyfriend [45M] and I [25M] have been together for 10 months and live in together. Recently, he made a new friend who is a single gay guy [30M]. At first, I didn't think much of it, but my boyfriend's behavior around this guy has started setting off major alarm bells. I admit that I have let my anxiety get the better of me. I haven't been obsessing over the guy himself, but I have been repeatedly expressing my fear to my boyfriend that he is going to cheat on me.

The Red Flags:

• He avoids opening messages from this guy when I'm sitting next to him. He deliberately waits to open and reply to them until I am asleep or when he is isolated in his home office working.
• We are going to Amsterdam for my birthday with my best friends. My boyfriend completely crossed a line and invited this new guy to come with us. When I said "WTF?", his excuse was that the guy has no friends here, and he just asked to be polite, knowing the guy would reject the invite (which he did).
• Before the Amsterdam thing, my boyfriend randomly showed me texts where he told the guy "I love my boyfriend so much and don't want to ruin things." The guy replied saying he has his morals. At the time I thought it was sweet, but now it feels like a calculated move to pacify me so he could keep pushing boundaries.
• Now, he is actively pushing me to go out with him, this new guy, and the guy's friends to museums and then out on the town. It feels like he is trying to force us into group settings to legitimize their connection, knowing that if I refuse or act uncomfortable, he can just point the finger at my jealousy.

My boyfriend is a massive people pleaser. When I express my fear that he might cheat, he completely flips it on me. He says I am the one ruining things with my jealousy, and actually told me he hopes I "embarrass myself enough times trying to find something that does not exist because I'll find nothing - and that way I'll learn to trust him."

At the exact same time, he is aggressively love bombing me. He talks about moving to another city together, buying a car together, tells me he wants me forever, and is constantly kissing and hugging me.

My Dilemma: I know my anxiety about him cheating has been an issue, which I am trying to stop. But I feel like he is using my fear to gaslight me and deflect from his own highly inappropriate boundaries.

How do I navigate this dynamic without just playing the role of the jealous boyfriend? Has anyone dealt with a partner who does shady things but covers it up with intense affection and shifting the blame?

I’m 22 and a college senior in NYC studying accounting and finance with a minor in law. I’m planning to apply to law school next month, with the goal of eventually working in BigLaw and practicing corporate or tax law. I’m ambitious and hardworking, and I try to approach people with kindness, practice emotional intelligence, and stay grounded. I’d love to connect with other gay guys who share these values and are working toward similar goals or already work in these fields: to build friendships/professional connections and exchange experiences/advice. I’m also open to a date if we click!

I’ve had some pretty weird experiences on dating apps lately and just wanted to share lol.

1. Met a guy on Tinder. We had great conversations and planned to meet over the weekend. I even prepared some food for him. The day before, he said he wasn’t feeling well, and then just disappeared.
   
2. Met a guy on Grindr, hooked up, had a great time, and kept chatting afterward. Then one day I noticed he’d deleted me. No explanation, nothing.
   
3. Another guy on Grindr. We were having a great conversation and literally agreed to meet up in a bit. Then out of nowhere, he blocked me. Profile gone, messages gone. Like what??
   
4. Met another guy on Grindr and spent the whole evening together. He kept saying things like “I really like you” and “I have a big crush on you.” Then the next day, he just stopped replying.

I mean, I get it. People lose interest, things change, whatever. But is it really that hard to just say you’re not interested anymore?

And honestly, these aren’t even all of my experiences. I’ve had plenty of similar things happen before.

I know ghosting is common, and I understand that people lose interest. Nobody owes me a relationship, and that’s totally fine.

But even though I’m kind of used to it by now, it still makes me a little sad sometimes. I guess I just wish people could be a bit more considerate.

I am an old guy. I work remote. I work with this young dude who is always on camera even when no one else is. He is very good looking and seems straight. Of course, a lot of younger gay people don't have the same tells people had when I came out in the 80s. Is the desire to be seen a thing with this generation?