Before anyone comes for my throat, I swear on my life I wasn't snooping. We’ve been seeing each other for about two months and everything felt really sweet and normal. I stayed over at his place last night. Twenty minutes ago he hopped in the shower and left his iPad unlocked on teh coffee table right in front of me with the Notes app wide open.

The title of the note was literally just my first name followed by "Pros & Cons". My eyes caught it before my brain could stop me.

Under Pros he wrote: "Makes amazing breakfast, very affectionate, great laugh, reliable." But under Cons he wrote: "Drives a beat-up 2012 Honda Civic, sneezes way too loud, calves are kinda small, talks about his dog too much."

i am currently sitting here frozen listening to the shower run. I dont even know whether to burst out laughing or pack my duffel bag and climb out his living room window. On one hand it’s kinda hilarious that he’s this neurotic, but on the other hand it feels insane to date someone who is literally auditing my personality and leg muscles on an iPad. Do I confront him when he walks out with a towel or do I just pretend I’m blind?

Boring update

I went over to his house before school. His mum was leaving for work when I came so she let me in. I just asked him why he was being such a prick all along. He did not want to talk about it.

He eventually said he did not want whispers and gossip from the class/school if he sat next to a guy or walked beside a guy. He said hanging around with girls stopped people gossiping.

I didn't sit next to him at school because of what he had said.

My gf sat next to me for a few classes. She said her friends and he were chatting and they asked him what guy he had a crush on. Apparently, he said he had a crush on me. She said she stuck up for me. She called him a predator because he hung out with me, sleepovers etc without me knowing he had a crush.

I went back to his house after school and I just said I am straight straight but I do not really care about the crush thing and I do not really care if people gossip because we sit next to each other. He did admit he had a crush on me.

We did play a few games and I went home. I said sit next to me in school tomorrow. No idea if he will sit next to me in school tomorrow. Up to him. But I did like playing EA FC with him

Thanks for the advice and for encouraging me.

Okay, so my older brother was 16 when he raped me. But this started way before that. When I was around 9 or 10, he used to sexually abuse me.

He would touch my private parts and kiss me.

I remember experiencing physical pleasure sometimes, even though I was just a child and didn't really understand what was happening. He also used to finger me, and that hurt like hell.

When I was 14, everyone went to attend a wedding, so we were home alone. He said, "Let's play a game," and I agreed because I didn't think anything of it.

Then he started grinding against me. He was being so forceful, and I kept telling him no, again and again, but he wouldn't listen.

I got a boner, for fuck's sake, and he took it as a sign that I wanted it. But I DIDN'T. I didn't want any of it.

He started jerking me off, and it felt uncomfortable but physically pleasurable at the same time.

Then came the penetration. It was genuinely traumatizing, and I don't even know how to explain what I felt.

I was scared, I didn't want it to happen, and yet my body still reacted physically. I remember feeling so horrible afterward that I didn't want to exist anymore.

After that, he got into a good university and moved to the US. Even before the rape, he had repeatedly kissed and touched me against my will when we were alone, but I was too scared to tell anyone.

He hasn't contacted me since.

My parents think we just had a fight, and they have no idea what actually happened between us. I don't think they'll ever know.

The thing I struggle with the most is the shame. I experienced physical pleasure and had an orgasm, and I keep wondering what that says about me. Sometimes I still have fantasies related to what happened, and afterward, I feel disgusting.

I hate that I can't seem to make sense of my own reactions.

I don't really have anyone I feel comfortable talking to about this, and I've kept it to myself for years. I just want to hear from people who might understand. Please be kind. I'm genuinely trying to make sense of what happened to me.

Sometimes, what hurts the most is how he just stopped contacting me completely after moving to the US. I know what he did to me was wrong, and I know I shouldn't have to miss anything about that experience, but I still find myself wondering why his absence hurts sometimes.

God, I feel so disgusting even admitting this, but there were times when I liked his touch. I was so young when it started, and I didn't understand any of it. Sometimes I think I miss the attention, or the feeling of being wanted by someone who was such a big part of my life, and then I hate myself for even thinking that way.

How can I feel hurt that he stopped contacting me when he's also the person who hurt me so badly?

I don't understand my own feelings anymore.

Found out my partner of over a year was cheating on me with multiple different guys, consistently, from the very start.

It feels surreal, the level of lies he had to have kept up makes me genuinely sick.

It’s really shattered my perception of trust.
I feel stupid, naive and really, deeply, disappointed.

I kicked him out my house, he texted me saying he didn’t feel enough for me (as an explanation as to why) & still loved me & our relationship means/ meant everything to him… I told him I thought he was disgusting and have blocked him.

I’ve been through break ups before, I know with time it gets better, but any advice from people who have experienced such betrayal would be appreciated.

Thank you.

title says it all

So I saw a recent post about this topic, and he made me remember an experience I had this past summer.

I met this hunk type over Instagram and physically, he is absolutely my type.

But while we were chatting in the DM's he was saying to me how much he likes my ass and how he likes how big it is. Which I was flattered by, but then he asked me "did you poop today?" I reply and say "no". He proceeded to ask me "well, when was the last time you did?" I said "idk" and tried changing the subject. He then brings it back to talking about poop again and asks me if I can film myself and send it to him. Needless to say I blocked him.

It sucks cause physically he was perfect and he was handsome. But his obsession with poop made me utterly sick.

My boyfriend has like a 7-inch dick (i think) but THICK. I'm only 5'7 and I think sex hasn't been super great because I'm so tight even if I'm trying stretches and doing p*ppers. He enjoys getting head a lot, but when I do it I really go at it, then he cums and I'm like uh okay one of us finished. I don't think he'd be opposed to giving me head if I wanted, but I don't enjoy it as much. So when we're not having hard sex I'm not usually getting off (even though I think it's hot just making him cum)

Am I strange for using my foreskin to hold back the juice when jerking off in my room?

To add context: Im more of a "shooter" than a "dripper". So it creates a mess in my whole room if I just let it shoot. When im jerking in my room I mostly just grab my foreskin really tight and all the juice is pumped into that newly formed space.

Am I weird for that? Or are there other guys using that as well?

I know this probably sounds completely juvenile coming from a 28-year-old grown man, but I’ve been kicking myself all morning and I don't know who else to ask about this.

I’ve been seeing this guy for about six weeks. He’s genuinely incredible, super grounded, patient, and completely out and comfortable with himself. I came out pretty late (around 25) after growing up in a very religious small town so while my close friends know, I’ve never actually had a public relationship before.

Last night we went to Trader Joe’s to grab ingredients to cook dinner at my place. As we were walking back to teh car around 8:30 PM, he just naturally reached over and laced his fingers into mine. Instead of just holding his hand like a normal person on a date, my entire body went rigid. I literally flinched, looked over both shoulders to see who was watching, and pulled my hand back into my jacket pocket before my brain could even stop me.

The look on his face crushed me. He gave a quiet "oh sorry" and put his hands in his pockets too. The drive home was painfully quiet. i apologized at dinner and explained it was just a stupid reflex, and he said it was fine, but the vibe definitely shifted. Does that hyper-vigilance ever actually go away, or did I just ruin something good because I can't get over my own internalized garbage?

im 5'1 and im insecure as hell about it i cant lie. vented about it to my friend recently and she said that im lucky im not straight cause id have issues with dating. yall fw short dudes?

As someone who works in sexual health, that's my personal opinion about informed consent.

I am 26M and every time I go to the gym, workout, and get undressed and wear my towel, I always get a semi erection. During the shower I get full erection, then semi again when changing into my clothes. I always have to wait for it to calm down a little. It’s awkward and embarrassing because my current gym is very busy and packed, and I worry someone might look at me and think I’m a pervert. I’m not thinking anything sexual, but it just happens. It’s been stressing me tf out and the previous gym I used to go to removed the shower curtains so I had to sign up for a different gym. I don’t know what to do.

Red delicious apples… are the worst right?
My husband picked up groceries (I’m the shopper usually.)

What’s the community like think?

So, I’m 31 and the truth is that I’ve never really had much sex up to this point. I’m a lot more comfortable just masturbating and enjoying myself. And I was curious, how common is it for other gay guys to live like that, regardless of age?

I'm 33 (M), a physician, and I also teach at a medical university. Coming from a conservative family background, I've worked hard to get where I am, and I'm proud of it.

Three years ago, on my birthday, I came out to my mom. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was crying and terrified of how she'd react.

It went badly. At first she said it wasn't true and I was just imagining it. She didn't sleep that night. The next day she cried, then suggested taking me somewhere to be "treated." Then she said it was a shame after everything I'd achieved. If I were a construction worker or a shepherd, at least it wouldn't be such a disgrace, but why did it have to happen to me of all people. She also said that if my brother and his wife found out, they wouldn't let me near their kids. She blamed a couple of relatives who already knew for "stabbing her in the back."

For a while she didn't call or text me at all. Then there was a period where she became very controlling and insisted I come home every week and stay only with her. I was 30.

I kept telling myself she was in shock and would come around with time.

Now, three years later, she never mentions it. Not once. It's as if the conversation never happened. I have a serious boyfriend she's never asked about.

The thing is, my mom has always loved me, and she still does. She's caring and interested in everything in my life, except that part. That's what I can't wrap my head around. Life is short. As a doctor I see every day how fast it can end. How could she not stop and think: "My son opened his heart to me. A 30-year-old man broke down crying in front of me. He must have suffered and hidden this for years." How has that thought never made her reach out, ask a question, try to understand? I understood the shock at first. But three years of silence I just can't understand.

My dad and my brother don't know. I honestly have no idea how they'd react, though I know my brother doesn't approve of "these things." He sometimes asks when I'm getting married and having kids, and part of me wants to just tell him everything. But we're not that close, and I'm not sure I want to put myself through something like that again. Is there even a point?

I've been to therapy and talked to friends, and I'm living my life. I'm not falling apart. But it still sits with me. When I visit my family (they live in another city), I feel trapped and my self-confidence drops. I've stopped going as often. Friends of mine came out to their moms, who also went through shock but eventually said "you're my son and I love you as you are." That never happened for me.

I'm not really asking what to do. I'm just curious how others see this whole situation. How would you read my mom's behavior? Have any of you been through something similar?

For those in relationship ,could you share how you met your partner and how long you are together

​

ok so i am a pretty hung guy and i use this acc for sexting girls so lets get it out first .. the thing is i just had breakup with my gf few months ago and since then i was craving sex with a fat ass and i dont really know when i switched from watching fat ass girls to fat ass boys being banged in doggy position .. idk if if my sexuality is changing or its just sexual urges ..

I'm a fucking liar, who's lied about my weight and age on several occasions. I don't anymore because people need to like me as I am. I realized I would prefer it that way rather than just getting the D mercenary style.

Any other disgusting liars out there? What do you lie about most?

so im 19 closeted gay and im new here in reddit, i started posting pics to maybe finds someone to have fun with secretly but now i enjoy the attention, the lust, and every comment i receive which i didnt know i will enjoy. now i cant stop getting validation especially from someone older than me

What time do you go to sleep and what time do you wake up? How old are you?

I'm 18yo and I would like to instal it but firt of all I would like to here your's story

hey so like the title says, i just discovered something really annoying about myself.

i’m pretty sure i can only hookup with guys that i’m emotionally attracted to. i’ve had a string of hookups and notice that i’m only able to cum or honestly even stay hard if i’m emotionally into them.

i just got back from a hookup with this smoking hot twunk with a bubble butt that i was definitely very physically attracted to. the caveat is, like most hookups, i showed up to his place and knew nothing about him. as soon as i walked in we barely spoke, started to undress and he got on the bed on all fours. i started to top him but my dick was literally up and down the whole time.

at the risk of sharing too much, i knew this was a possibility so i wore a cock ring and popped a tadalafil that i got from one of those online ed med providers before i got there and i still couldn’t stay hard which pretty much confirmed for me that it’s a mental block and not a physical one.

i’ve had other hookups in similar situations where i’ll show up to a guys place, know nothing about him, but instead of getting right to it, we spend time talking, making out, and getting to know each other a bit and end up having a great time.

i also pretty much completely stopped watching porn awhile ago because i was curious if that was having an effect on me, but the issue is still here.

i’m not attaching shame to it because at the end of the day, feeling shame is a choice that i don’t have to choose, but more than anything i’m just annoyed and confused and want to know if any of you bros have been through anything similar or have any advice? i feel like i need a sex therapist or something lol.

i’m all ears for whatever you guys wanna share.

thanks!

I (TM28) dont do hookups often because I’m very picky and cautious. Got out of a marriage last year and have been hesitant to date. I Met a guy on hinge last week and he said he was clean when he tested 3 months ago. We hung out and hooked up

He Used protection for penetration but i gave him head without the condom.
3 days later my throat is a little sore, weathers been weird i suppose (naive thought), now i have a fever too. Great! Tylenol and ibuprofen. Still sick for the following three days, throat gets worse and i cannot swallow anything without being in a world of pain. Feels like I’m constantly swallowing needles whether i eat or drink or even swallow saliva. Body chills, high fevers, shone a light on my tonsils. They are insanely swollen, my uvula is shriveled up and bent, the worse parts are the white/yellow patches of pus all over the back. I genuinely saw that and felt insanely gross.

Okay i drove to my hospital and they had me come in for strep throat test. The test for that came out negative, doctor said it might be an STD instead.

So i had to take more swabs this time for potential chlamydia gonorrhea and herpes. Still awaiting results, but they shot my ass with an injection for now and gave me oral numbing solution. (It barely helps with the pain) ive lost like 10lbs in less than a week due to my inability to swallow much from the pain. Even water hurts to swallow regardless of temperature

Messaged the hinge guy to get tested too, and told him what happened, and to inform any other possible partners he had. He says he has one other partner (which he hadnt disclosed before)

His profile didn’t state that he was poly and that he was seeking a long term relationship. So i feel a little betrayed and pissed mostly because I’m still in so much fucking pain but if i knew he had another partner then i mightve been more proactive with using a condom for oral too. im not against people having other partners, i just wish they disclose this i suppose. The hookup wasn’t even satisfying for me :(
He seemed remorseful and was nice to offer to get me medication, but i genuinely dont wanna see him ever again, this whole thing gave me the ick. I feel disgusted with myself but I’m glad I’m clean below, id literally jump off if I’m in even more pain than i already am

planning to use condoms for BJs too now but Ik some guys start complaining and whining when i bring that idea up. For now I’m shutting myself in because holy fuck this was so not worth it.

Ive been reading peoples experiences and feel like I’m dealing this worse than most others. Would appreciate hearing some similar experiences and how you dealt with it.

Edit: partial lab results just came in.

I’m Positive for herpes, specifically HSV2 the genital kind, in the back of my throat and around my lips

Talked to the guy again so he can also try to get tested, most likely it was a case of asymptomatic shedding and i happened to catch it

Hey, I'm a bottom, but I don't feel any physical pleasure from anal sex. All the pleasure I get from being a bottom comes from making the other guy feel good. It's entirely psychological for me.

However, I'd really like to experience physical pleasure from anal sex too. Do you guys have any tips or suggestions? I've even tried going a week without masturbating to see if that would make a difference, but it didn't change anything.

(I recently started having sex again after years of not being with anyone. During that time alone, I probably stimulated myself anally fewer than five times. To make matters worse, I'm taking desvenlafaxine, which has lowered my libido and reduced my sexual pleasure overall.)