How do you guys make time to meet? I think my biggest struggle atm is finding someone that has the same availability as me. Aside from the hundreds of rejections, the people that do seem interested have regular 9-5 jobs, as most of us do. However, thats the only time I'm available, as in the evenings I can't just get up and leave without the wife wondering or asking questions. My job is fairly flexible, so day meets are the easiest for me.

Any advice for this?

I (32F) am in my first affair with AP (58M). My husband and I have had a very rocky marriage, and I honestly don’t know that we can ever actually fix it. I won’t say that I have never thought of finding someone outside of my marriage, but I will say in that moment of meeting, I wasn’t actively searching for someone.

Now, I’m playing this very close to home. We’re neighbors. Like literally live across the highway from each other. It started one day back in May when I had my two toddlers outside playing and he had just gotten home and stopped to check the mail. I saw the hesitation right before he ran across the street to my driveway. We had only ever briefly talked once prior. He introduced himself and there was that spark when he took my hand. He was the one who reacted to it before I ever said or acknowledged anything.

Our chemistry is incredible and we have started to explore dynamics. I love being his little girl and submissive dirty slut. He’s meeting so many needs for me and I know I am for him too. I’m working on getting over the nervousness of dirty talk in person to him. It’s a me thing, not him. I’m scared of saying the wrong thing or being embarrassed by him, even though he has only ever been supportive, respectful, and kind. It’s just the carry over from my marriage. So, tips welcome on becoming more comfortable with saying the words!

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. I’m a little scatterbrained and hoping that all somewhat made sense.

Question, if you or your AP is on vacation with your respective families, do you still text with them or expect them to text with you while gone?

I (37F) have a colleague (43M) who split with his wife a year ago. We have similar aged kids and have always worked well together and gotten along socially.

We were laid off at the same time and kept in touch, meeting for lunch occasionally. He helped me get a job where he was working so we are now back at the same workplace, but working for different groups. He plans his in office days on when I will be in so we can meet for lunch and is bummed when we will miss each other for a week.

He’s made a few comments that make me think he’s interested in something more than friendship, but I’m not sure. Once he said our former boss told him she thought him and I would be a great couple after he told her he was getting a divorce. He’s mentioned playing hooky from work and going to a baseball game together. He never talks to me about other women he’s dated or been with since the divorce, but has shared stories of his ex and her new boyfriend.

I love my husband and never considered an affair. But lately I feel like I just need something to feel desired, to be an individual outside of being a mom and wife. I’ve never let on that I’m interested in being anything other than friends, but I find myself thinking about it more and more. I’m wondering if it could be fun to signal back to my friend that I am interested and see how he responds?

AP and I were in a long distance relationship for multiple years. We are both married with kids. The first year we saw each other 2 or 3 times but after that we made a concerted effort to see each other as much as possible. The last few years we have been together every other month and texted a couple times a week. We told each other we loved each other once. Even though we didn’t say it much, it was apparent in how we treated each other.

AP recently divorced. It wasn’t AP’s choice. I don’t know much about it other than AP’s spouse wasn’t happy and is the one who drove it. According to AP, the spouse never found out about us. I wasn’t excited about it and considered ending the relationship at that point. However, for a variety of reasons I decided to continue.

When we were together last week AP was off. I tried to talk about it but AP brushed it off and asked for sex. I reiterated that I wanted to talk and AP went out to the bar until late. The next day AP acted like everything was normal and asked for sex. When I said I needed to talk AP again brushed it off and went to the bar until 3 AM. I was asleep when AP got back. I texted him when I left for the airport to call me when he woke up. It’s been 6 days and nothing.

I truly care deeply for AP and appreciate the time we spent together. I tried to talk to AP to no avail. I know I could have fought harder for us but so could have AP. My marriage is emotional draining and so much work already. Truthfully, as disappointed as I am, it’s a relief.

So I posted a very detailed ad on r/affairs. Of course, I got a ton of responses. Now for the task of seeing who makes the cut. The easy part is deleting all the boys who can't read or talk about their dick, then the photo swap, I do this early on to see if they are even interested in my looks and vice versa. Those who survive get moved to alternate platforms.
What are your requirements and deal breakers you discuss straight off the bat?