So, a few months ago, my (26 F) friend (also 26 F) came to visit me as she often does. This time, I asked her to stay for a week as we hadn't seen each other for about a year and she'd just broken up with her boyfriend of 8 years who cheated on her. She knows I'm queer and she's straight, or so she says. So, we hit the club one day and she got so drunk. I mean, I consumed significantly more alcohol but I have quite a high tolerance so I was able to get us both home. She got so wild when we got back because she started listening to loud music and twerking. Oh, and she's a pear shaped woman with a big booty so you can imagine.

Anyway, she then sat next to me on the couch and rested her head on my shoulder. She took my phone, hit record and started asking me questions about my sexuality and if I was interested in all women. That should have been my cue but I instead asked her if she's interested in all men. She said no...and added that she's never been really interested in women but there's one woman she wants to try it with. I played dumb and asked who that was and she said me. That made me uncomfortable but I brushed it off and instead got up to give her some water so she'd sober up a bit.

I thought that was it. We went to bed and she started watching lesbian porn with no earphones on. That gave me second hand embarrassment so I put my pods in and started watching TikTok videos. She removed one pod from my ear after calling me a few times without me hearing anything and she said, "I'd love to taste you." I was fucking dumbfounded cos whaaaatttt? We'd been friends since our first year of university in 2018 and this was just unexpected. I'm a 5'10 woman who is slightly more dominant though still a big softie. Not that it matters but I love topping more than bottoming. Her telling me that gave me the ick for several reasons including that I'm not attracted to her. Although I've had a one night stand with a distant friend back in my university days without being attracted to her, she asked me to do that, we were sober, she didn't kiss me and she didn't touch me because I only allow those I am actually attracted to to do things to me. I don't know if this is toxic but yeah.

As for this particular friend, we're close friends and she wanted to eat my punani while drunk while I wasn't attracted to her. Tf? So I said no. I told her I'm demisexual...which I actually realized after the university one night stand incident (I felt disgusted for weeks and just hated the experience and everything else). So when I told her this, she insisted three more times and I told her, "I hope you'll remember all this tomorrow" before I went to sleep. I guess she touched herself that night.

The next morning, she started acting a little strange so I asked if she remembered everything from the previous night. She said yes and that made me even more uncomfortable. Anyway, to cut the long story short, her stay was reduced by a day and after she left, I felt the same way I did after the university one night stand. When I found that video which she'd recorded in my gallery, I wanted to bury my head in the sand so I deleted it. It's been months but I just can't hold a conversation with her anymore. I feel violated and I don't know if I'm overreacting. We usually don't talk much anyway, but after her stay, the communication has reduced even more. Whenever she messages me, I remember that night and I feel extremely uncomfortable.

What do I do? I've slept with women I actually liked and was never once disgusted. But these two incidents just stand out and idk if I'm hurting her by being distant or if this is the right thing to do. I just can't stand talking to her anymore without feeling uncomfortable, disgusted and violated. Any advice?

lowkey wanna break up with my girlfriend, and i feel like i'm slowly detaching myself from the relationship at this point.

idk, she just hasn't been treating me the way she used to, and it's been making me feel like shit. whenever she's going through something, i'm always willing to listen and be there for her. but when it's my turn, suddenly she's busy or just isn't there for me in the same way.

even when it comes to sex, it feels like it's always about her and what she wants, and rarely about me. honestly, it feels like everything revolves around her, and i'm starting to get tired of feeling like my needs don't matter as much as hers.

i've tried talking to her about how i feel more than once, but it doesn't seem like anything really changes. and i think that's the part that's getting to me the most. it's not even just the things she's doing anymore, it's the fact that i've communicated how much they hurt me and still end up feeling the same way.

i can feel myself starting to resent her, and i hate that because i don't want to get to a point where all i feel towards her is resentment. but at the same time, this relationship is genuinely draining me, and i'm starting to wonder if i've already checked out emotionally without fully admitting it to myself.

idk if i'm overthinking things or if i've just reached my limit, but part of me feels like breaking up might be the best thing for me at this point.

I’m 19F and have only ever dated a girl when I was 13 and have not been in a relationship since.

Due to my mental health I’ve been isolated for many years and have gained a lot of weight since I was 13, I’m too scared to go out and talk to other women since I’m scared of rejection and genuinely believe I’m too ugly to ever find love.

I have two close friends and they are out dating and hooking up with people all the time and I’m constantly jealous, I cry myself to sleep some nights wishing it was me even though I know in my self I’m not mentally ready to date but I don’t think I ever will be. I just feel so left behind and I don’t know how to cope with it.

i swear there is something deeply sinister about october in the wlw universe..every year without fail, october comes around and some devastating, character-developing, life-altering event takes place. like it’s practically a rite of passage. mine happened the first week of october and i fear this particular chapter of lore is going to take quite some time to recover from. anyway, we’re only halfway through the month. has your annual october canon event happened yet? if so, what happened!

f24, thinking about breaking up with my gf of 5 years and i feel so guilty about it

my gf and i have been together for 5 years, but lately things just feel different. she's been snapping at me and raising her voice more, and it feels like she doesn't really make time for me anymore. she's been prioritizing her friends lately, and idk, i've just been feeling so shitty and left behind.

we're also ldr, which makes everything harder. sometimes i wonder if we're just growing apart and if life is slowly taking us in different directions.

i still love her, and that's what makes this so hard. but at the same time, i don't feel the same connection with her anymore. i miss how we used to be, and it hurts feeling like i'm slowly losing someone who's been such a huge part of my life.

i feel so guilty even thinking about breaking up bc we've been together for 5 years. that's such a long time, and the thought of walking away from all of that makes me feel awful. but i've also started realizing that sometimes it's the little things that slowly change how you feel about someone.

idk if i'm overthinking things or if we're just going through a rough patch, but a part of me feels like we're growing apart, and i'm scared to admit it.

for those of you who've been in long-term wlw relationships, how did you know when it was time to let go? have you ever loved someone but felt like you weren't really in the relationship anymore? did you try to work things out or did you eventually walk away?

i honestly don't know what to do rn :(

I’m a 35 yr old disabled artist. I struggle with a few mental and physical disabilities that are relatively invisible but affect me enough that bosses don’t like to keep me around for long. I’ve been unemployed for a decade since having my daughter and have multiple side hustles to try and make ends meet.

I’ve always been bisexual, but since becoming a mom I’ve been too insecure about not having much income to approach women. Women don’t generally approach me and I’m pretty sure it’s because I probably read as Bisexual and in my experience the lesbians I have met have trauma surrounding bi women and either avoid us like the plague afterwards, or they have issues within relationships with bisexual women later… I get it but damn, give a girl a chance?

Dating men for the last decade has me beyond tired. I only date men because women seem uninterested since I became a mom.

But my biggest insecurity is not knowing if I’m doomed before I even start because I’m a broke bish?

Both women in our 30s. TLDR at the bottom. Sorry in advance if this isn’t the right sub, I’ve posted in another one without much luck.

I met this super genuine, amazing girl on a dating app who made a lot of effort to meet me in person. We are both in our 30s. About halfway through our first meetup, she disclosed that she had severe baseline anxiety. We had a great convo, and at the end, she initiated a hug, then ghosted me for 2 weeks.

She came back and said if I’d like to meet up again, she’d like to, but no pressure. So we met again. I asked where she went for 2 weeks, she said she was deep in the weeds in anxiety and that was why she disappeared and didn’t mean to. She also said she acted out of character by telling me about her anxiety so early on, she tends to avoid telling people about it for fear of how she’d be viewed. She said I asked questions out of curiosity instead of judgement, was safe, disarming, and trusting, made her feel comfortable. She also said she stopped utilizing the dating apps.

She lingered after the hangout and was flirting, so I said I couldn’t read her mind and was confused. She said she struggled being straighforward, then 2 days later, friendzoned me via text. I said I understood and respected it, but she should let me know if I add to her anxiety. She said I didn’t.

2 days later, we were supposed to hang out, but she bailed, saying she was in a pool of anxiety, then she rescheduled for the next day. We ended up going out, and then made out for an hour. She texted the day after saying that she couldn’t deny the connection and would like for the kiss to happen again. 2 days after that text, she invited me over, ordered me doordash, and was flirting. At the end of the night, I asked if we were going to kiss and she said she was tired and going to bed. I was confused and she sensed it and told me to get out of my head. So we hugged and I left.

Next couple of days we barely talked, then she bailed on a hangout only to invite me over the next day (exactly 1 week after the make out) and that’s where I confronted the confusion. I asked if the text saying that there was a connection was a lie, she said no. So I said I feel like she was into it but spent the days after thinking it through and decided to revert back to the friendzone. She said she struggles to say what she’s thinking but essentially, yes.

She said she needed to heal before getting into a relationship and I said what relationship, we’ve never defined anything. This convo kept going on and basically she ended up calling me exhausting, to which I took great offense. I turned to leave and she called out saying a few different things, one of them being “you’re running out of here.“

3.5 weeks of pure silence since that blowout. But I finally broke my silence with a text and haven’t heard anything.

Of important note, she was exploring her sexuality and I’m the first woman she’s talked to/done anything with. Which adds a lot to her anxiety, to which I am incredibly cognizant of, but the back and forth was too much for me. I could understand the anxiety, but not the whiplash.

I need help understanding from the anxious perspective what was possibly going through her head when she called me exhausting and why she disappeared afterwards/if she’ll ever reopen the convo or if she’s just done.

TLDR; incredibly awesome person with severe baseline anxiety giving mixed signals, then insults me and ghosts me indefinitely after. Why? And how much weight are we putting on the anxiety for this behavior versus just saying that’s who she is.

I asked out a girl today who lives at my college.

We are both freshman’s in college. We’ve known eachother for a little less than a month, and have hung out in groups together, and talked and texted briefly.

We have a lot in common, same major, we live in similar areas, have a class together, we both like to write, read, and love plants. So far our conversations have been really good.

We have plans to go to a coffee shop and then look at bookstores after. Super low-key.

I just have never been on a date before. This is like the first time I've done ANYTHING romantic with anyone ever PERIOD. She's the first person I've ever asked out.

I don't know what to do, or how to be? I’m a chronic overthinker, so im already worried about being awkward, or not forward enough. My friends said flowers were a good idea, I agree. But like what do you do on a first date? Do you kiss them? Do you just hang out? What makes a date different from just hanging out. I don’t know!

please give me tips and advice 🫪 im so scared.

I genuinely dont know if this is a discussion, support or vent :( but I'd like support/discussion pls

Hello, ladies. So I'll try to make this short. I'm bi and always known that but didnt accept it until I was 16 (religious reasons). Around that time, one woman online flirted with me but didn't take us seriously. (I know that's a common lesbian experience). Then a girl in my class was kinda bi but really wanted a bf/dick and would talk about it, which was upsetting. She started teasing me after realizing I had a crush on her. Eventually, we kissed but then she never talked to me after. It was at a sleepover after we all went to sleep but I think maybe the others heard and got uncomfortable so none of them hung out with me anymore :(

It's been 10 years since then, and no women have expressed interest in even being my friend (they always want a guys attention over mine or after we hang out and if I dont reach out we'll never hang out). It makes me so sad. A closest gender fluid (girl) coworker said I have a twink body... idk if that was supposed to be a compliment or not :/ That was the end of the conversation.

A girl recently dm me after a game (no coms) after seeing I had a lesbian +bi pride charm in game and asked if I liked girls, I said yes and she kinda started meaningless flirting. Flirting off the bat like that didnt feel 'good' to me but I tried to lightly flirt back for her sake. I wanted to hear her voice to have SOMETHING to go off of. We had a quick call a few nights later and I thought it was a nice time. She warned me that she was shy so she was a little quiet but other than that everything was fine. I've been asking her how her day is and small talk, but she doesn't really seem to care to know who I am like at all. I honestly thought she was maybe a guy posing as a girl because of the way she was flirting, which is also why I wanted to call. (Come to find out she lives 2 hrs away side note)

Enough of my backstory and back to the main point. I dont feel attractive to women :( I know I'm underweight and probably have been most of my life. I understand that I need to become more comfortable in my skin but I dont see that happening till I gain weight (been trying to gain since middle school). Something you have to understand is that adults, men and women, constantly talk about how skinny I am, so it makes it hard to not be insecure/notice. I also dont feel like I 'appear obviously gay' most days.

Other than the skinny thing I think I'm pretty :) men think I'm very pretty and like to flirt with me, especially older ones 😒 so I know I'm 'conventionally attractive' more so than not. But I also dont wear makeup, and I feel like that would possibly make me prettier?

I had a realization today that no women besides family has ever called me pretty that I can remember. That, along with the twink comment, just kinda feels like a blow.

And cherry on top I have ADHD... so I get excited sometimes and I feel like I'm too much for people. So if my personality is 'too much' and my body is 'not enough' where do I go from here? 😓

Xoxo, your fellow lonely wlw <3

posted on another page too but kind of been on a spiral I’m a lesbian I’m 26 and I broke up with my long term girlfriend of 2 years who I lived with a few months ago who I still love very much. I broke up with her due to a lot of reasons I’m not comfortable going into online. Let’s just say it was kind of an unhealthy relationship and there were alot of problems

Regardless of everything I miss her and love her still so much months later and I question everyday if I did the right thing. I feel like I ruined my life by leaving her and threw away my one chance at love.
We had a lot of issues and she did too but looking back I’m like “was it really that bad” we had a lot of good too! I get nervous seeing all these horror stories about how awful and small the lesbian dating pool is and I’m an incredibly picky person I feel like I ruined everything and I’ll end up alone forever

Also I can’t reach back out to my ex she wants nothing to do with me and is in a new relationship calling the new girl “my love” on instagram. Please someone give me some hope and reassurance that I’m not doomed due to this decision I made I keep feeling like I’ll never love someone like I loved her

Me and my gf have been dates for two years (we’re both minor and met in middle school) and when k think about the future or my life after HS I get this pit in my stomach I feel like I’m stuck and scared because I want to explore more when I’m of age and there little things we both just don’t agree on (nothing serious just minor things) and I feel so guilty for maybe wanting a different partner in my future. And for wanting somthing different in a sexual way I just don’t feel like we’re a good fit in that way. I know we’re very young g and have only been intimate a few times and I just feel that connection like I once did. I want to break up but other times I don’t want to either because a lot of our friends are mixed together and I feel like I could be over thinking it I just don’t know what to do, I’m sorry this message is scattered and kinda senseless I just need som advice on how to handle this. I’ve been feeling like this for a while.

it’s been 4 months since we broke up, but our situation has been so weird and complicated, especially since we work in the same place. what hurts me the most is that whenever i try to explain things from my side, she easily gets frustrated and seems so tired of listening to me.

for context, she gave me trust issues, and i found out after the breakup that she had been admiring one of our friends, someone i had already felt uncomfortable about. there was also this one time when i poured out all my emotions and feelings, only to receive a reply that said, “i understand what you are saying, but i do not feel it.”

all i can say is that we really can’t please everyone, not even those who once said they loved us. we can’t force someone to choose us when, in the first place, we were already just one of their options. and we cannot expect someone to love us as much as we love them.

it’s just so sad to realize that you can be so good, caring, and loving to someone, and yet, after everything, it still wasn’t enough to make them treat you better.

Hi all, it's definitely too early to be making this post, but I can't stop thinking about it so I thought I'd get some perspective.

I met a girl in one of my university lectures last month and found her attractive, so I started talking to her and asked if she wanted to study together. She agreed, and we exchanged numbers. Since then, we've been sitting together in lectures. I know she's a lesbian from things on her bag, but I'm quite straight-presenting, so she probably assumes I'm straight and only interested in friendship.

Last week, we studied together for the first time, and it went well. We quizzed each other and laughed, but our conversations were mostly academic, so we didn't get to know each other much personally. At the end, I asked if she had plans for the following week and whether she was originally from our university city. She answered both questions but didn't ask me anything in return.

Later that day, I texted her for the first time to ask if she wanted to study again this Sunday. It's now been a week, and she still hasn't replied, although there are three days left until Sunday.

If she doesn't respond, I'm unsure how to act when we see each other in lectures the following week. Should I still sit with her? Does she think I'm clingy or needy? Should I compensate by acting cold and distant? I also don't know if she already has a girlfriend, so I should probably figure that out too before I lose my mind.

Thanks in advance!!

I am newly single. I was on the receiving end of a breakup recently, which was a first for me. This is a level of pain & suffering I have never experienced.

In the past when things fell through with a partner, I would take to the apps and find a new muse to ease the pain of the dissolution of the old connection within a few weeks.

While casual dating and sex was always fun, I don’t want to do that this time around. I want to take my time to heal and repair before stepping back on the dating sex or pursuing any form of romantic/sexual connection.

I am currently receiving weekly therapy. I have no intentions on downloading any dating apps. In fact, I’m repulsed at the idea of dating again. However, I know there will come a time in the near future where I’ll want to be intimate with another woman.

So my question is to my fellow allosexuals, how do you practice sexual discipline?

I’m honestly not too sure what this is but i just needed to get this off my chest. I’m Female and when im stone cold sober and it’s late and im laying in my bed thinking i think about girls i think about what it would be to kiss a girl or take her on a date/bring her flowers but these are things i could never say out loud.

When i was in school there was this girl lauren and i was her best friend but she was so much more to me, she was my first girl-crush but i never could’ve told her because we both grew up in christian households so being gay was heavily frowned upon. There was another girl too gianna i liked her too but i actually made the move to kiss her, i liked it though it didn’t feel weird or different it felt right.

I’ve never actually dated girls though i’ve only kissed or made out with them but idk when it comes to dating i just feel stuck like i can take girls out on dates and make them feel loved but once it comes to having a label on it i get terrified.Ive snuck girls around my parents once or twice.

Ive only brought home guys to meet my parents though becauseThe first time i came out to my mom she cried and told me i didn’t know what i was talking about, i have no gay cousins but my whole family is once more very christian so im sure coming out wouldn’t end well.

I guess im also scared to tell my friends, i know there not homophobic or anything but they make a lot of jokes and i feel like if i try to have a serious talk about them with a topic like this it’ll end up as a joke and k won’t feel like it’s taken seriously.

i’m not asking for advice or judgment i just wanted to say this and get it off my chest.

I've been agonizing over this topic a lot lately and wanted to drop my thoughts in a little corner of the internet.

So I am a woman married to another woman. My wife also happens to be the only long-term partner I've ever had. However, I'm not a lesbian; I'm a Schrodinger's bisexual, where I have only ever been with a woman, but I have felt attraction to non-women before. But because I am in a strictly monogamous marriage, any attraction besides what I feel for my wife is functionally irrelevant. I am probably bi/pan, but resonate most with the terms sapphic, WLW, or queer based on my lived experiences.

I frequent online sapphic spaces and often get recommended posts from them. Recently, some of the discourse I've seen has been so disheartening. Earlier today, I got recommended a post where people were saying they hate the terms "sapphic" and "queer" because they feel like they are just used because people are just afraid to say lesbian, or only used by people who are "spicy straight". In that same community, I had someone tell me a while ago that I am not in a "lesbian relationship" with my wife, because I am not a lesbian. And internally, that is true -- because the term lesbian does not describe the breadth of my personal attractions, I use other terms. But labels are used externally too: Broader society sees my wife and I, assumes us to be lesbians, and treats us as such. Then, in bi/pan spaces, because WLW pairings are less common, I see much less representation of my lived experiences as a woman married to a woman than I do in WLW/sapphic ones. I often don't feel bi enough for bi spaces because I don't relate to a lot of content there, but the majority of sapphic spaces are called "lesbian" spaces by default, which makes me feel like an intruder/poser for even being there as a non-lesbian. The things some folks in sapphic spaces say about bi women doesn't help. I have had trouble reconciling labeling with what I feel internally versus how I am seen externally, especially after reading enough negative stereotypes and assumptions about bi women (to be fair, I've heard this is notoriously an issue monogamous bi folks face, either "too straight to be gay" or "too gay to be straight" based on who you happen to be dating -_-)

In the end, I know it's counterproductive to dwell on this. Labels are there to help us make sense of who we are, and if they are not helpful, it's not like you have to claim them. But as I've seen posts in communities with people who share experiences with me, it has been exhausting ruminating over the labels I resonate with internally vs. the labels society pushes onto me externally vs. how other people define and interpret and disagree over said labels and the stereotypes people have.

Anyways, now that I've written this out, hopefully it's out of my system and I'll stop compulsively thinking about :,^)

I have a crush. Typical, yeah, but I have a problem. From my past experiences with girls, my way of approaching them always seemed friendly? Like they never got the clue that I like them. They think I approached them to be just friends, you know what I mean?

This is probably a stupid question, but how do you approach or pursue a woman romantically?? I have this huge fear of making them feel uncomfortable, or that they would think I’m a pervert or a weirdo. I don’t want that. I don’t wanna be straightforward either.

Sorry, I’m not new to this but I also am not the best at this. How do I get them to like me beyond just friends?

Hi everyone. My ex-girlfriend (21) and I (21) just broke up a few hours ago.
I’ve been feeling so drained these past few months, about everything including our relationship. We’ve had a lot of problems and fights, even over stupid things. We haven’t seen each other in months, and I kept telling her that we should meet and hang out, thinking maybe things would get better between us, but she kept brushing me off. That honestly hurt me, especially because she went out with her friend but couldn’t seem to make time for me lol.
We also stopped calling, stopped playing games together, and just stopped spending time together in general. It’s been really hard, and eventually I started seriously thinking about breaking up with her because I felt like I wasn’t in love with her anymore. I do love her, but I’m not in love with her the way I used to be.
So I sent her a long paragraph explaining how I felt, and I wished her happiness and all the best.
What really broke me was her response. She said she felt the same way. She said she thought it was just a phase and that it would eventually go away, but it didn’t. She also said she had been thinking about breaking up with me, but she didn’t because she thought I was already going through a lot and didn’t want to make me feel worse while I was mentally exhausted.
And honestly, it doesn’t hurt me that she feels the same way. What hurts is that this entire week she kept asking me if I was going to break up with her, if I still saw her in my future, and things like that.
I even asked her directly if she wanted to break up, and she said no.
So finding out that she had actually been thinking about breaking up with me too is just really confusing and honestly hurts. I don’t understand why she kept asking me those things if she was already feeling the same way.
I feel like I was the one who had to actually say it out loud, and I don’t know how to feel about that. Like, why did you make me be the one to say it when you were already thinking the same thing?
I’m not even saying I wanted her to fight for us or anything. I just don’t understand why she made me feel like I was the only one who had to make that decision when she was already feeling the same way.

​

My ex-girlfriend (19) and I (18) were together for about 10 months but we were friends for 2 years prior. She has a difficult situation with her dad being extremely homophobic and would be very upset if he knew we were together. Which is in no way her fault I sympathize with her. Everything was great honestly or at least I thought, until this summer. Ever since summer had started she had pushed me away more. Made zero time for me at all and when I tried to make plans she would come up with excuses. Her dad had no idea we were together and just thought we were best friends. Whenever I brought up something that was upsetting me she would freak out on me saying how inconsiderate I am and how I only think of myself. Her and I were both having family problems, she would vent to me almost 24-7. But when I wanted to tell someone and talk to someone about the thing that had been weighing on me, she freaked out on me.

For more background when we were together she would get jealous of all my friends, she isolated me. When I hung out with my best friend I've had since 1st grade, she said she got uncomfortable that I was around her. So I pushed them away, I thought this was okay because I had her. While she could hang out with random people she met two days prior and go out to dinner with a girl SHE KNEW HATED ME.

Back to the summer. She freaked out on me for asking if I could talk to her about my family, i was sobbing at this point and she told me she "doesn't need someone crying for her for help". Which I wasn't doing, i just wanted to get it out. She honestly knew little to nothing about my home life because she never bc she never asked and she was so busy with her problems I was too scared to say anything. I didn't want to make it seem like I was undermining her issues.

After she freaked out on me, she told me not to talk to her. So I didn't, I left her alone. Days later she comes back to be mad at me for not trying to make things better. I was genuinely in shock. She told me I ruined her? And how she couldn't believe I acted this way. We were really rough for the next few weeks, she didn't seem like she cared anymore but I was so scared of losing my only person. She was all I had, so I didn't break up with her.

A couple weeks later, she told me her and her whole family are moving back to her home country permanently, Argentina. (This has nothing to do with being deported, her, and her whole family has citizenship). I was distraught, and she told me we could make this work. We ended things, she was treating me like shit and I couldn't do it anymore. She had no intentions of coming back to the US, it wasn't going to work.

Fast-forward to a month later, it was now late August. I was finally having fun again. After 10 months of isolating myself and telling myself that I enjoyed being alone, I started talking to my friends again. It made me realize people other than her cared about me. I was much happier, and people noticed.

My ex would still look at my Instagram posts, and I kinda kept her out of spite so she could see I was happy without her. Thats kinda mean but I was messed up. Towards the beginning of September I got a long letter in the mail, of her telling me how she will always love me and I'll always be her favorite. I'll put the letter below but honestly read this note and tell me if she is crazy because she constricts herself a million times

Edit: the note will not let me send a photo so I will copy it digitally

I swear it’s not even really an applicable thing for most wlw aren’t most of us “switches” and reciprocate??

I mostly hate how normalized it is to slide into a lesbian couple post with a “who’s top and who’s bottom” or any variation of that. Like straight people don’t get people asking about their sexual dynamics but because someone is a lesbian it’s ok?

It also feels so gender role esque because everyone immediately assumes someone who’s dominate or masculine is the one who “tops” and that feels so regressive. Lastly, I think it’s stupid because doesn’t the average person want to give and receive sexual pleasure? So why are we acting like everybody and they mama is either a pillow princess or stone top? (No hate to people who are it’s just weird to put everyone in that box yk??)

People who overuse these terms are genuinely ruining fandoms too by trying to push wlw characters into specific roles. I feel like it’s affecting how wlw characters are portrayed too because now in a lot of media it seems they’re basically hetero gender dynamics but make it two girls. I had to stop watching Thai gl because of this it irritated me way too much how prevalent this stupid ass terminology and heteronormativity of relationship dynamics are.

I’m getting kind of resentful towards mlm media too as a result. The new Avatar series apparently has a confirmed gay (or bi don’t remember) male character in the first few episodes and I can’t even bring myself to watch the show as a result. The legend of Korra didn’t even get a kiss and they’ve already had a character as an established gay guy in the first season. Granted things are a little different now than they were when Korra came out but still.

But then there’s how people treated the lesbian couple in bridgerton contrasted with heated rivalry. This happens all the time. Netflix cancels their lesbian shows or sidelines the lesbian characters meanwhile gay shows and movies become household names. It’s making me so bitter honestly and it’s so upsetting. And then Netflix took she ra off too? wtf was that for.

I feel so starved of wlw media, music, art, just anything and it makes me miserable. I’ve been listening to the same 5 hour wlw playlist I’ve made for months and practically have ever song memorized and can only add more like once in a blue moon when I actually find good lesbian songs.

I don’t even know what else to say this just sucks. I hate living in a world where my identity is so sidelined isolated. It’d feel better if I had some lesbian friends or something I just feel so alone.

Hi! I'm looking for support. I recently got some news and I'm feeling disappointed and sad.

I (26) thought things were going great with this woman I met recently (27). I felt we had really strong chemistry, but it seems the chemistry was one-way.

It has been a couple of years since my last serious relationship ended. I went on a couple of dates last year, but I didn't feel chemistry with either of the people I saw.

I got on a dating app after a year of no real romance at all. I'm picky, so I told myself I'd only swipe right if the person met my hyperspecific criteria. I only saw one person who meets the criteria. She was stunning and looked fun. I superliked her a little under 2 weeks ago and we matched.

We went on 3 dates and I thought they were all fantastic. The shortest date was 3 hours and the longest was 11. She's beautiful, brilliant, and hilarious. We had a ton in common. We seemed to have compatible lifestyles and goals. I honestly felt myself become a little infatuated. I hadn't felt this way about anyone in 3 or 4 years.

I thought we had strong chemistry. I thought we were both having so much fun.

I didn't hear anything from her after I dropped her off from our 11 hour date on Monday. I sent her a text with some weekend date ideas and my availability yesterday. I sent her a text with some weekday date ideas today. She hadn't responded to either messages.

She sent me a text about an hour ago in which she said she thinks I'm cool but she didn't think the romantic chemistry that she was looking for was there.

I won't say this was unexpected, since she hadn't responded yesterday. But I'm still a bit shocked, since I felt the chemistry so strongly and I thought she was feeling it too.

Now I'm wondering if I said or did anything wrong. Or maybe there's some other reason that she doesn't wish to share (which is fine, she doesn't have to share it).

I've been more feminine than my partners in all of my past relationships, and I've been the pursued one way more often than the pursuer. This was the first time I'd dated someone who's similarly feminine.

I felt so timid, maybe from being hurt by people disrespecting my boundaries in the past, but I didn't push for much physical touch and I'm wondering if that was the issue. We only held hands. We didn't kiss or cuddle. In retrospect I feel like there were opportunities in which I should have tried, and I was planning to on our next date before she told me she's not interested.

When I asked her if she wanted to hold hands I did it in the most awkward way possible. I think it comes from a place of having been victimized before and feeling the need to overcompensate when asking for consent as a consequence.

It hurts a lot, even though we only had 3 dates. I showed someone my sincere self for the first time in years and I was excited to see her sincere self. I felt like I could be vulnerable around her and I tried to be the kind of person she could do the same with.

I told my friends about her, and now I feel embarrassed. I thought things were going so well.

I know that if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be, and I'm glad she told me now so early instead of trying to force things and strong me along or ghost me. I told her it's okay and I appreciate her honesty.

Still, I'm disappointed and sad. I made peace with being a spinster after my long-term relationship ended. I like my space and solitude and me-time. But this experience reminded me why I like romance, so I'm experiencing a pain I haven't felt in a few years.

It's tough being sapphic and picky outside of a big city :(

I'm struggling to understand how I felt such strong chemistry yet she didn't. Every time I haven't felt chemistry with someone in the past it has been mutual. The dates were near perfect but I guess that's not sufficient.

What are y'all's thoughts?

Thanks for reading/responding!

Hi everyone! I currently just went through a very tough/complicated breakup does anyone have any tips to sort of move past it? I’ve don’t better compared to the last week but she has someone new even if she denies it but I’m not dumb. I’m 20 and she is too. She ended up having feelings for someone who’s 29 y/o female with a 4 y/o child. Crazy I know….. she cheated 100% but denies it and I’m just trying to cope. They’ve only known each other for maybe less than 3 months now and well she chased after the girl and left me high and dry😐 We were together for 4 years.

¿Para platicar ?

This is my first wlw relationship and it has been great so far. We started dating recently, but have been seeing each other since the early summer.

Recently, I realized that she never washes her hands. That wouldn’t be too big of an issue because I probably never would’ve even noticed, except for the fact that when she gets food on her hands, she licks it off instead of washing. Whenever we go out to eat, she is constantly licking her fingers. Her hands are always very sticky, and she even leaves a sticky, foggy residue whenever she touches her water or wine glass. It has started to really gross me out and make me less receptive to her touch. I wouldn’t say I am a total clean freak, but I am constantly washing my hands because I hate having dirty/sticky hands, and I go through hand soap relatively quickly.

An example of this happened last night. We were eating tiramisu and a big glob of the cream fell onto her fingers and hand. Instead of washing it off, she licked her fingers intensely and used her teeth to get it out from under her finger nails. She then wiped her hands on her shirt and grabbed my face to pull me in for a kiss. All I could think about when she did that was how sticky her hands were and how grossed out I was, so I faked a sneeze to get out of kissing her.

I hate that this grosses me out so much, but it does. She is pretty sensitive, so I am unsure how to go about discussing this with her.