A little emotionally charged vent because I just don’t understand.

Was seeing a guy a couple months ago. We dated briefly (3 months) before he decided we were on different paths and ended up things. It was way more intense and emotional, but that’s the gist. For more context, at the time we met he was in the process of moving to another state due to work.

He comes back 2 months later, telling me he finally moved and life was going well. He a wanted me back. For some time I was upset about the breakup, though it was brief we saw each other almost every day and I thought we had something. He said the L word first, and gave me positive experiences that past long-term partners didn’t. I told him to leave me alone, he would give me space then reach out again. I believed this persistence also while providing me space was evidence that he did really miss me and wanted to try again. Part of me wanted to trust him, but another part of me was extremely hesitant.

I decided to give it a go, but I treaded lightly as to not overly invest myself like before. I went to visit him 2 weeks later, it was a great time. The days after, he’s calling me, telling me he loves me, talking to me about possible future plans. Yesterday he’s asking me to send details about an upcoming event of mine so he could be sure to attend… then today was silence. No texts back. Wouldn’t pick up a call. My heart sank a little, I had a feeling this could happen. In the evening I finally get a text saying he thinks “we have different directions that don’t match for the time being”. I don’t know what that means- I work full-time and am completing a masters. He would often say that I haven’t experienced the world the way he has (military), and he doesn’t think I know what I want until I do.

Maybe this was actually projection, that he doesn’t know what he wants? Shifting that thought onto me made him feel like he had it all together?
Did/does he actually love me? Was I just manipulated?

I’m grateful I treaded lightly as to not get my heart hurt in this scenario. I am angry because I feel lied to. Why ask my opinion of something? Why say you love me? Why say you’d make the effort to be there… when you knew you’d end it the next day?

TLDR; Guy I was dating broke up with me. Came back 2 months later, said he loves me, and then ends things the day after “making plans” to come to my graduation.

I just need to vent this into the void because I don’t want to gross my partner out. Don’t read if you also don’t want to see a gross confession

I don’t think my diet has been different enough to warrant the stool that just ripped me open. I have a decent amount of protein every day, but I suppose my fiber has been a little low. But nothing beyond the normal?

Last night, I felt a bowel movement coming down so I jumped from bed to scurry to the toilet. It didn’t feel like past times when I knew I was dealing with constipation. It felt more like I was suddenly trying to pass a baseball of a shit.

When I tell you I was stuck there for what felt like half an hour. This baseball sized stool could not vacate the premises. There was nothing in queue that could push it out, it was just stuck there halfway out the door. I didn’t want to strain too hard, so I patiently waited with moderate efforts every couple minutes.

Goddamn did this hurt like a motherfucker. Every minute felt like the ring of sauron was burning my ass. I questioned if this was actually a butt baby for a moment. It certainly felt like it.

Eventually by some miracle, my inner muscles found the strength to kick the baseball sized butt baby into the basin below. I’m amazed it even managed to flush. It’s been 24 hours since then and I’m still in pain. I’ve had another bowel movement since then, and even though that went smoothly down, I could tell the exit has been left with serious fissures. I need some vasaline.

Why the fuck did this happen ugh

edit - I appreciated the kind words on the first thread before it was locked. I might see a doctor if this happens again

Life sucks. Nothing is permanent, absolutely nothing, I don't care how much you think someone loves you or how much you love someone or how much you cherish something, NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING lasts forever. And ik you always hear "nothing lasts forever" and may think about one person or thing that "you know" will always be there, no matter how many times you hear it, but just believe me- and everyone else- nothing is permanent.

I just recently lost two family members, and my best friend, and my brother, im in such a dark place. I've always heard "nothing is permanent" and I always thought "ik nothing is permanent but I KNOW my brother is, we grew up together, I mean there's absolutely no way he could possibly leave me unless like a passing happens" I "knew" he was permanent, I knew it like a fact, I believed it, next thing I know we had a huge falling out, ive tried to desperately fix it hundreds of times, but he just somehow doesn't care anymore, im hurt so bad

I don't care how much you "know" someone is permanent, I don't care that you "know for a fact" someone is permanent, nothing is permanent, absolutely fucking nothing.

They're going through a tough time. I'm not sure they'll be happy for a long while. I feel selfish for missing my friend. Afterall, they have it worse and here I am complaining that they don't have the time or energy to be a person with me anymore

I keep wanting to cut everyone off. I haven't. Yet I don't know where the future will lead me or anyone. Sometimes I wonder if there is a future. I'm so sick of being sad. I'm sick of being sick of bein​g sad. Now the sun is going so it'll get worse.

I'm sick if begging to be seen. I'm sick of being the person people go to for stability and anchoring when they need it. I want to be reliable, but so often, when things get better, people leave. Maybe it's because they now associate you with bad times or because they don't know how to repay you and they are uncomfortable with their perceived 'debt' or because they didn't want to bother those they actually cared about with their issues so they pulled you from their back pocket as a temporary fill-in.

On some level, it's probably my fault for pouring so much into this friendship. I don't want to leave them alone, but I'd rather be alone than live wanting to tear off my skin every other day. At least then, it'd be my fault.

I don't know they're going to do that. I also don't know they won't. I'll probably stay because I'm a fucking self-hating, self-destructive martyr, but I don't trust anything. I don't trust anyone.

God I know I'm a bad person and a bad friend. But it's true. I don't hate them, but I wish things were different. Not just for their sake.

I am a bad person and a bad friend and it's all the same shade of brownish gray. Dookie

I hung out with a guy I liked. My parents track my cell phone and my car, so I left my phone in my car while we hung out. Two and a half hours later, I got back to my car to multiple phone calls and texts from my parents. I called my mom back, and she was very upset, asking me where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing. She also called the coffee shop that I said I was at and asked the employees to find me. She was also looking at Ubers to drive to my location.

When we called, I told her the truth about what I was doing, and it sparked a conversation about her saying I am not adulting and that she failed me in some way. I am currently a full-time student with a part-time job. I don’t have much in savings, as I put all of my money into my investments and Roth IRA.
She also told me I’m not responsible and that I need to pay bills, so I’m now taking the initiative to pay my car insurance and my phone bill. However, she told me that me paying those would make no difference and that they always need to know where I am as long as I live with them.

It sucks knowing that I had saved enough to move out, but instead, I invested in my retirement, and now I need to try to save even more just to move out.

The past week has been very stressful for me, the last couple of days especially. I have been in some high stressful situations probably low for normal people and it's just turning my brain into a mess. I had an incident about a week ago, I can only remember details of incident as the focal point, everything else has become a blur. I remember having to navigate a rough trail because of an navigation error then having to find a new way to my destination praying the GPS would auto correct itself, after driving around it did but I was like 10 mins behind. From there my memory is just a mess as I fall further and further behind.

I vaguely remember stopping at a gas station as I was stressed I wouldn't be getting home on that little bit of gas. I don't remember almost any before then I was so stressed.

Now I'm having to talk to insurers for the first time and my anxiety is making it hard for me to say clear statements! I must look like an idiot, it doesn't help that I already have a terrible memory now my anxiety is fucking me at an important moment!

I can't afford to screw this up. Giving vague answers to where the event happened even though I barely even remember the location. I have to go off a post I barely made before going to sleep that night to vent to even remember the details! Fuck my own brain.

Now things have escalated and I'm having to do things I'm not used to interact with so many different people I feel like throwing up. I have severe anxiety and am putting up a good front but I feel so much shame! I know the incident happened on that day and while I was out doing gig work but I was so anxious and in my head I can barely say definitely the location.

I feel like I am going to do something extremely stupid if I fail one more time because of this damn anxiety!

Something hilarious happened that even makes me feel worse. I was at a dealership. I never been to one on my own. I was speaking to the guy one on one, I was approved for a vehicle as long as I have a down payment (I don't have it) I was just looking and seeing if I could possibly save up for one. He was nice and polite about everything but I stumbled on the first line coming out of my mouth! I simply had to say I was approved to purchase a vehicle and I wanted to look around before I decided and I spit out a jumbled mess of words that sounded like an elementary kid called up on stage in front of an auditorium full of high schoolers.

I'm an fucking failure of an adult. Only good thing I've done is help out with the kids in my family. But I set a bad example as they grow older and leech off those around me.

I feel like the insurers aren't going to pay me out and I can't afford to make things right for my inexperience and mistake.

The pay wasn't even worth the damages

So many decades on earth and I'm still making mistakes kifs half my age make as they become adults.

Fuck I just want to escape. I can feel the disappointment piling on. It's so fucking suffocating.

So I (28M single and have never been in a relationship) I see a few posts online talking about their significant other either wanting to have sex not often enough and so they cheat and it confuses me because why don't you just communicate about it and if they can't give you the attention you need (not judging) then just leave. I've had a few of my friends and coworkers complain about it to and I'm just like IDK Big Dawg I can't even get a date with a woman.

Shit like this really confuses me like the amount of negative relationship posts outnumber the wholesome ones to god damn much. Makes me scared to get into a relationship sometimes.

Anywho I will continue to do my best to ignore all the negative posts and be steadfast in socializing with the opposite gender I hope everyone has had a great day today and drank enough water.

Thank you if anyone actually reads all of my yapping. ❤️

I miss my mom, i miss the guy i loved, all i want is understanding and love and comfort, it's a privilege to have i know but my heart is in so much pain i worked so hard for that so why can't i have it? I don't want to grow up not at all... I wanna go back to being a baby i just want someone to hold me so bad it's all i ever wish for, i pay everyday for this one thing and all i crave is someone that is all, can all this terrible terrible pain be compensated? I forgive God for it i really do but i just want this one thing to have please my chest hurts really bad i don't wanna die alone it's my biggest fear, i don't wanna be alone right now i just want to be told i wont be by myself and I'll be okay that's all i want..

This is pretty unserious and half joking so please domt come fighting me, I know there are different tastes and genres I just wanna get it off my mind lmao

So im trying to flesh out my DDR playlist and its going well. This one particular playlist im grazing through (I believe its every DDR game's tracks in one playlist) has a laaarge bit of music in Japanese in it near the bottom; anything from anime openings/endings to popular music from Japan and even indie over there.

Tons of really good music, some anime ones I've recognized, classic touhou songs etc.

Then theres this very particular type of music that comes on and its grating.

Immediately opens with anime girls talking all loud and excited before the song comes on, or it just goes right into the song. And compared to the Japanese pop/rock/swing/whatever normal song was on before—its loud.

I try to listen through each song to see if its fit for my DDR playlist but I just cant dude.

Its so annoying and loud. Like, its so high pitched it feels like it hits the top of my brain as if its just hit the max pitch my brain can decode.

And I swear to god every song in that particular genre that comes on sounds like its the same anime girl. Like idk if theyre different voice actors or characters singing but I swear if you put them all in a room you'd never be able to tell who was who.

They all sound like a dogs chew toy, or a high pitched instrument, just something bad.

If you like those characters im glad theyre your cup of tea. I know hearing them each episode is TOTALLY different than back to back to back loud anime girl singing but holy shit. It gets to a point dude.

I appreciate everyones different tastes and likes, its just holy shit back to back loud in my car was crazy.

Its kind of a funny vent. But I kinda feel bad for the voice actors of those characters. I feel like in some instances, those characters are made like that on purpose as if thats their only redeeming factor as a character. Ive heard so many characters with normal voice ranges that are amazing and dont have to rely on that trope. Im sure those voices are meant for specific genres of anime but still.

So where to start. Ive found trouble in life, I wasn't a bad kid I wouldnt say. For the most part I followed the rules. I was driven to rebel at times by an inner " fuck it " in me where I deserved the outcome I got. No one scared me more then my 6 ft 4 narcassistic father with a raging temper from his own childhood trauma. Other grown men in groups never challenged him when I was around. Not once. So it re-assured me I didnt just think he was tough because he was my dad, he was a scary fucking guy.

I grew up with a kid who I hung out with a few times. Originally I played baseball with him at a young age. Didn't know him well. He was cocky, alot taller than me at that age until later in high school therefore better at cross country which I dominated my own school despite my being short til grade 5. In grade six me and this kid tyler were put in the sane senior Public school and he was defibetly better at some sports. Baseball and hockey were not school sports which I played competitively outside of school. We remained acquaintances, not so much friends. To be honest he hung around some of my friends cause we all played sports but he wasn't my friend. We saw him as a little over the top cocky and defibetly an ass kisser when it came to teachers and authority. Which me and my friends were not. Even one of my closest friends whos dad was the head of the local o.p.p. did not kiss authoritys ass.

In high school my house became the weekend party house because my parents had a trailer on the weekends the left for and my place was wide open. For the most part I was responsible and kept the parties small. There's always that one bigger one though and it came around grade 11. I was 16. Had an older acquaintance buy the booze and just had everyone pay a certain fee as they came in and that allotted them enough drinks to get a good buzz. All except for one brought their own booze. The earlier mentioned tyler decided to come. The same tyler who I found out later had brought the booze cause they were leftover ironically from a party he had at his own house a week before. As the night went on he proceeded to open a box of mini Cinnabons cereal and started spitting them on the floor just to be a dick or think it was a funny way to disrespect the house I guess. I glanced at my friend jeff who was about my height but 260 and solid and gave him the nod. He grabbed him and together we escorted him nicely, not roughing him up just making him walk as best he could out to my friends car. It was only a 5 minute ride to his parents house but at the last second we pulled up to his front yard I could tell he was gonna puke so I opened his door. After the car stopped I shoved him out rather gently with my foot and left him there.

A few days later im hanging with my friend Jeff who was the gut who helped escort him home, ( and older friend of Jeff's older brother was the one who drove as he hadnt drank ) but my dad had called Jeff's dad who was the o.p.p. officer and we both got rounded up to go to my parents place which we knew was odd. At first dad had my and jeff because we were younger move a two seated bench he had built from the backyard to the front deck while we knew our dad's who didnt really know eachother talked. Apparently Tyler's dad had called and said his sun stumbled in drunk a couples nights before and had been drinking at my parents place. Booze we served him lol. The part of the story left out is that tyler had brought his own booze from the household of the man complaining where he had a party just one weekend before with people drinking. Apparently he went on to say he could sue and blah blah my dad said he gad hung up on him before he could finish lol. But me and my friend jeff got a speech about how parents could be liable if something happened with someone drinking at the house reassured by Jeff's dad the o.p.p. officer to hit the point home which im sure is why dad had him bring us over.

The irony of all this is Tyler who was always a cocky prick and obviously was the dick in this story who committed more wrong and lied is now a cop. Lol. And his father that called was later involved in a major lawsuit and found guilty of embezzling money to himself from a multi million dollar auto motive factory he worked in the office for. Do I have a problem with all this. Fuck yah I do and sonetimes you just need to put the story out there. I have a few more about the mafia in blue that happened later. Which I will post another time. Ty to all that took the time to read this and have a good one my friends!

I lost my fur baby August 14th and its been hard the night ive cried and wondered why me , why did this happen to me instead no answered its hard maybe I wasnt meant to be a mom . Maybe thsts why , my roomates have 2 cats and they lasted longer then my baby did, he passed away at 3 turning 4 , from diabetic shock . It was the hardest thing i had to do. Its draining , im now 2 months and I broke down today. I just keep screaming cone back . I need my baby back but its never gonna happen I miss my boy so much . Its so hard not having the routine we had , im supposed get a kitten but there been alot going on in my life and the kitten isnt even born yet , was supposedly in labour but nothing yet, its painful I am craving that routine again, im craving the love, my home is empty without a fur baby to love me.

I just moved out a month and a half ago in order to attend university. I moved 14 hours north in my country, to the very north where I know absolutely nobody. This is something that I have wanted to do for the past 4 years, I was so excited to get accepted into the university that I wanted to attend, to find an apartment, to move out and such.

I just turned 22, I have struggled with depression, harming, addiction and suicidal thoughts since I was 13 years old. I have overcome much and achieved most of the goals that I set out to achieve up until now, yet they all feel empty and just as if I ticked a box on a list. I have rarely felt a sense of accomplishment or joy about achieving goals. I have learned to live with my problems, gotten used to them and they are comforting. I wasn't able to bring my cat with me when I moved, because my landlord does not allow pets. I honestly do not know how I am going to do this without my cat. He was the only thing that kept me going at my worst. This loneliness is killing me, without my friends and family I am left so isolated. Not only that, I miss my home region, the wide and open fields which stretch as far as the eye can see. Hell, something as small as the accent, I miss hearing that.

I want to cry, to scream, to smash my head against a wall til I lose consciousness, to lie down in the woods on a snowy day and let the world forget about me completely for eternity. I can't even cry, I want to so badly. Then there's my ex who stalks me and tries to make my life hell even after I got away from her. The emotional abuse that she put me through wasn't enough, she has to still attempt to hurt me. Hell, she made me apologise to her because I was sexually assaulted before I even met her. All to break me down, to make me depend on her, to twist me into her little puppet.

There are a few people that I would call friends here but I feel as if I exist in another universe, they are unable to hear my muffled screams and unable to see me for who I am. This is what I wanted, to move here and have a "fresh start". So why do I feel this way.

I stick out like a sore thumb because of the way I dress, my interests, my style and my height. This, I feel leads to further alienation from most people. That being said, I ultimately do it to myself, I do not let people close to me. I want to be independent and I am afraid of letting people close due to being hurt badly and by many in the past.

I want to make other friends that have the same interests as me, that I can actually meet in person and hang out with. Yet at the same time, there's this sense of futility because most people just drain me of the very limited energy that I have.

95 percent of the emails I get are unnecessary. It's always nice to get that one good email - but it's not worth all of the garbage. Maybe I just need a new address....

I’ve been hearing some…joyful noise from my downstairs neighbors that I at first thought was a little kid crying. I was like “aww poor little guy”.

….it was not a poor little guy

My neighbors were getting freak nasty! And I’m starting to connect some other sounds too. Drilling. They had been drilling for days. And I’m suspecting it was a sex swing or rig of some kind. Lucky bastards. THAT SHOULD BE ME. But bf and I are too pussy to drill into the walls or ceiling in this apartment.

Insert that angry “happy for you. Nice. Cool😡” meme. Maybe one day we’ll say fuck it and get one. Then we can really be professional upstairs neighbors.

Edit: yes i am assuming it was a sex swing based only on drilling sure it could be them hanging up shit. But the sex is something i can’t miss and the connection isn’t that far out there given what ive been hearing

I'll probably delete this later. I'm having a low point today, and I'm allowing myself to be sad and to vent to strangers. Sorry if I'm incoherent, I'm a little emotional as I write this.

I'm just so tired of being everyone's 'therapist'. I'm so so exhausted of constant negativity wherever I go. Everyone is just complaining. Barely anyone has anything nice to share anymore.

I went through things, I know what it's like. I had to be watched because I was suicidal. It's been years and I managed to get out of it. I'll be forever grateful for the support, but also for my own strength to pull through. I consider myself pretty happy now, and I'm content with my life. Busy as hell, yes, but content.

But some days it feels like everyone's actively trying to drag me back down. I know they don't really mean to, but it's so damn difficult sometimes.

Family, friends, my partner, everyone's going through something and they all come to me. I'm glad I'm that person for them, of course - but it's so damn tiring. I'm here for them, and will continue to be there for them. I know what it's like to struggle and how difficult it is to work on yourself. But I can't help but think, is it wrong to wonder what life would be like if I had equally happy people with me?

I love these people. I would never give up on them. I feel like shit for being tired of it, but I need a break too sometimes. I know that they have it so much worse, I've been there. I know I'm a sissy for complaining about listening to them when they're the ones living it, but I'm so tired of the same conversations and the same problems. I can't think of new things to say. I don't know how to help them anymore.

My low today? We have a trip coming up in a few days that I was so excited for. It's my first break away from work and school and life in so long.

My partner has already had a few bad days lately and today was another one of them. He complained about the cost of it yet again. I had previously suggested a few cheaper options but he insisted this was fine. And on a normal day, he still is fine with it, but I can see he's not as excited about it. There are multiple reasons why I think he's falling into depression and it just might be breaking me too at this point.

I've even been thinking about cancelling the trip. I don't even know if I want to go anymore.

We absolutely will go and have fun, don't get me wrong, but I just wanted to be happy about it, and today I'm not feeling it. The closer it gets, the less I'm feeling it

Edit: i am aware of the irony of my post, complaining about people complaining lol. It's not lost on me

My FIL is such an asshole.

Context: Last 6 months I've been lifting and did an (accidental) bulk after 10 years of an on/off restricive ED. I'm now trying to lose fat in a healthy way.
I have had so many problems with him nitpicking everything I do and literally picking on me for 2 years. Everything I do.
I'm cooking? "You should make it like this". I'm cleaning? "You should clean it this way". I'm meal planning? "You don't need all that protein". I got bed ridden from an illness for about a month? "So you haven't worked out in almost a month, you're not trying. Have you seen yourself lately?".

What happened tonight: He KNOWS I have a restrictive ED history. But tonight he said "Have you seen yourself lately? You haven't been going to the gym; you don't even need all of that protein because you're not using it". Mind you, this week I JUST got back into the gym after my illness, so I've been back to meal planning again. I'm only aiming for 115g of protein now instead of my bodyweight in protein since I'm not bulking anymore...which, while it still above normal intake, is a good intake for weight loss while lifting to preserve muscle on a WOMAN.

What I've tried: I ALWAYS tell him that muscle gain and weight loss is different for WOMEN. We have a monthly cycle which preserves more water weight at times, or makes us bloat other times, or makes us ravenous/crave like a man could never imagine. It is SO much harder for us to both gain muscle and lose fat - of course I have to be meticulous and do things differently than he does. But he's a narcissist and thinks his way is the only way because he can't see outside of his own self or educate himself on other people.

YES I need all that protein.
YES I need to lift when losing fat.
YES I allow myself a treat here and there because I'm a human.
YES I need to weight my food out because it's different for women and we can't just eat whatever we want and lose weight, especially when we are SHORT (dramatic because I'm angry, I know)

I'm literally crying in my room because a grown as man bullies me when I'm finally trying to be healthy. It's almost weekly. I have until January for us to move out. His comments made me almost slip back into that unhealthy restrictive mindset but I am trying so hard to power through those thoughts and keeping my eye on the prize - the healthy prize.

Just a vent I guess more than anything.

i'm 26, female, and i ended my first long-term relationship earlier this year. i am doing okay; i've moved on and don't have any regrets about ending things with my ex. i don't miss him. we weren't compatible and it was for the best. after a few months i felt like i should try meeting people, but it's been incredibly difficult.

i tried a few online dating apps for a while, matched with plenty of people, but nothing came of it and i never even went on any dates before i stopped using the apps since i felt like it wasn't good for my mental health. the problem is, i'm not sure how else to go about dating. i have friends, a job, and go to the gym, but waiting to meet someone in daily life by chance seems pretty far-fetched, and i live in a rural area so that doesn't help either.

i was single all my life until this most recent relationship, and had been accustomed to being alone and making myself happy. i have a fulfilling career, hobbies, and pets that i love dearly. i have everything i could need really. i am financially stable and have my life together. it just SUCKS that i don't have someone to love. i don't need it, and i'll be okay without it, but sometimes i get so sad thinking about the little things like watching tv cuddled up with your person or laughing in the shower together. i miss that.

i was watching a tv show the other day and there were two people in a relationship laying next to each other in bed talking and i had to turn the show off because it made me so upset. i am just so lonely and i feel like dating is completely hopeless. i'm not bad looking, i'm thin / fit, and i think i'm pretty enjoyable to be around??? not everyone's cup of tea, of course, but i can talk to anyone and i think i have a decent personality. i'm introverted but act like an extrovert in most social situations. i don't want to sound conceited but i think i'm a good option!? but i just can't seem to find someone who shares the same views, interests, or lifestyle as me. and i'm feeling so hopeless and envious of people who have a partner by their side.

i know i'm young and i shouldn't give up, but the FOMO is so painful sometimes. i feel like i'm going to wake up one day in a nursing home alone and i can't stand looking at couples on tv :(

This may be silly to post, I’m kind of just venting.

I have struggled to make friends for years. I have been friends with my friend, justin for almost a decade. We have spent a lot of time together and are very close and he has been basically my only close friend for the past 4 years or so.

I recently made a new friend, angie. I am very anxious and struggle opening up. This is the first friend I have hit it off with in so long, and she’s a lady! I’ve been wanting women friends for a long time now, so I’m very happy.

I’ve been talking about her a lot to Justin. All was well at first but the other night he seemed off when I was talking about an event I attended with Angie. He said something along the lines of I wish I wasn’t boring and I have nothing to contribute and do nothing and I asked if it had anything to do with me speaking of Angie, he admitted that it was.

Now, I’ve tried to limit my speaking of my other Angie, and when I do he is disinterested and doesn’t engage with what I’m saying. I asked him what that was about tonight just trying to see where he’s at and maybe come to an understanding.

He basically said that he doesn’t care because he doesn’t know her which confused me because he doesn’t act that way about other topics. He wouldn’t really engage with the conversation either and told me he feels like I’m trying to fight which was kind of upsetting because I just wanted to get to the bottom of how we are both feeling.

Is there a better way that I can handle this situation?

I (F20) have ongoing undiagnosed symptoms which i won't all list here and also endometriosis. I think i have some sort of hormone sensitivity as any fluctuations in my hormones seem to have an extreme effect on me. I will have so much energy and be so happy one day and then the next i will be completely drained and depressed and cry about anything or mad and irritable and frustrated.

It is relentless and I know it effects the people around me especially my fiance. Recently I have had 5 or less hours of sleep every night for 2 weeks. I actually feel like I cannot function. My brain is so slow and foggy I don't know how to control my emotions, I want to cry and I feel nauseous.

By some miracle I am getting through work, sort of ish. I have the problem of a reasonably large moth in my room. Maybe medium sized, a normal person wouldn't care. I however really do. I already have a phobia of insects and arachnids and now in my sleep deprived state it is even worse. I slept on my beanbag in a different room because of the moth and I am afraid to enter my room.

My Fiance is very busy today and while he said he would help it really sounded like it would be a big burden and really get in the way of everything he needs to do today. So I told him not to help but I contacted pest control and the guy seemed a bit weird i wouldn't trust him in my house as I am a woman living alone and others don't do same day service.

Idk what to do because my medication i need is in there and I idk how to deal with the moth even looking at it makes me gag. I also really need to sleep in my bed tonight as I am already extremely sleep deprived and Saturday is the only night I get a long sleep.

Hey! So, before I continue to type this, please note that I KNOW some of my actions were probably rude. When I say I'm not sure, I'm saying my reaction to something, NOT my actions.

6 months ago, I made amends with a person online. Essentially, I was 15 and they were 20 and because I was a teenager with no friends irl, I attached to EVERYONE, including this person. However, I was immature and so whenever someone didn't text me back or left me on read, I would get really upset and act... clingy. Not clingy in a weird sense, but clingy as in "I don't have a lot of friends and I'm pissed off that I'm not getting a convo going."

OBVIOUSLY, I was immature because I know now that a 20-year-old can't EVER be friends with a 15-year-old, so this person was valid. Plus, I made other dumb mistakes too on the internet.

Fast forward, I am now 18, but I made amends with them when I was 17 (going on 18). Despite only 2-3 years, I matured a lot. I no longer feel clingy to ask and I don't do dumb shit anymore. So, I apologized for what I did, said I knew what went wrong, and said that I wanted to start a friendship or a relationship at some point. He forgave me and so for the next 6 months, I made sure to ask how his day went.

Maybe to some that is weird, but remember that I was 17 (now 18), so the gap is no longer weird imo since we are BOTH adults and he is friends with people that are 17 right now.

Anyways, I noticed that they are now not answering questions or trying to start a conversation. At first, he said he was busy with college, which I respected the honesty. However, it became annoying when questions were no longer fully answered and it was extremely stoic texting. Like, dryer than the Sahara Desert level texting.

Today, I got a little vulnerable and semi-vented, asking for feedback on something. There was no response. Usually, when I saw the green icon, I knew that he was probably not online, but when I checked again, he forgot to turn off activity. I could see clear as day that not only was he active that whole time, but he was playing a virtual game (it's on Discord, so you can see that in their status without digging deep).

I felt hurt and thought "ouch... okay" and realized that the no responses and shortness was his way of giving me a hint. So, I deleted the message and unfriended him silently.

While there hasn't been any response of any sort, I am mixed up on if I was establishing a boundary or if I am just a straight asshole. However, my thought process was this:

Just because he forgave me does NOT mean it was forgotten or doesn't sting. I can try to start a friendship, but he doesn't owe me a response of any sort, nor does he need to coddle me.

At the same time, I am upset because I consistently apologize and say "Hey, if I ever make you uncomfortable or say something you don't like, please be honest. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Despite that, I never gotten a talk on that. So, I feel slightly insulted for being ignored even when I gave him the opportunity multiple times to tell me if he wanted to be left alone. There's no point in trying to be subtle since it isn't always spotted quickly.

But then again, I also know that sometimes, you aren't emotionally ready to handle a heavy text and might need a video game or food to make you feel better. Unlike when I was a kid, I know now that I can't make people text and I shouldn't be a burden to them. Also, I went too fast to try to get a friendship or connection going 6 months after apologizing. I know I matured, but he didn't see my progress. He only sees my words.

So, here's my thing: if he texts saying "what happened to the texts" or anything of that sort, I will explain this. However, I know he won't and I'll probably never get a follow-up, so me texting all of this would be immature. Also, I don't feel hurt-- at least it left off decent enough.

My issue is that I don't know if I was giving myself a boundary and respecting his, or if I was an asshole from the start.

I have the bad habit of lurking on people from the past. I was suddenly reminded of a guy I was talking to from October last year up until March this year. He broke up with me because according to him I was trying to “cuff” him. I live in a foreign country and I was simply trying to have someone around to talk to and share my thoughts and feelings. The breakup was bad and I suffered a lot for a few months.
Anyway, this morning I visited his ig profile and just so happens that he had a story posted. I used an anonymous story viewer site to see it. He had posted himself with a new girl.
It did sting. Not because I have feelings for him. I don’t. But because I’m pretty sure that the girl is his female friend that I already had my suspicions about. Also because when we were together I was treated so badly and she got a completely different treatment.
I’m feeling sad for myself because I just don’t understand why? I’m a nice person and everyone says I’m very beautiful. I have 2 degrees and on my way to getting the 3rd. So I’m obviously not stupid.
I don’t get why I get treated this way:(

Explaining depression can often sound like a pity party
I’m sorry
You hit a point
A point of no tears, so anger, no self reflection
Just exhaustion
Then no one believes you, your just “annoyed”
I’m not anything.
I’m tired of pretending
Pretending that every genuine feeling of happiness I have doesn’t have a rock being throw at my head with a note attached to it saying “you don’t deserve to smile”.
I’m sorry I sound un interested
I appreciate your concern I really do
I’m just so tired
I just want to exist in life
I’m done experiencing it
Just let me sit down
Just for a moment
Maybe one day I’ll want to go back out and pretend I’m living my life
But for now
I’m tired

Now we're no longer friends. 3 weeks before he said he developed feelings for me and I foolishly told him I had too even though I was planning on keeping my feelings to myself forever. I regret it so much. I suspect he confessed to lure me back in because we hadn't talked for a while and I was sad about the growing distance between us, as we had an emotionally intimate connection. We stayed friends, but 3 weeks later he was lonely and venting to me about how someone he considered a best friend, and another woman who he liked romantically made him feel like a joke that night.

He prefaced the vent with"you probably don't want to hear this" and it made me realize I was just used for validation and free night time therapy without a care for how hurtful that was for me to hear. I ended up calling him out for disregarding my feelings and keeping me on the back burner because I was hurt. It was something I had felt in the friendship before this because he'd often ignore me and talk to me after he got home from hanging out with his bar friends.

The most shameful part is I apologized and tried to save the friendship after, but was distanced from. He made it clear his mental health was very poor, so I attempted to give space, be a caring friend and trust things would return to "normal". Maybe it would have, but I couldn't keep swallowing my hurt because of this. Weeks after the falling out I got drunk, texted him a lot (with no reply. We had previously texted 6 nights before on a good note) and asked him to block me because I was spiraling and didn't trust I'd stop reaching out.

It's humiliating and I left with no dignity. I have so many mixed feelings about the whole thing and can't stop mulling it over. I realized I was probably never important nor loved by him.

Everything about my existence is about my freaking height. For context. I am a 6' tall woman. I would generally say that being tall is fine. Sure I get annoyed at the "do you play basketball" and "how is the weather up there?" But being well past my teens people don't bully me for it anymore. I will save the social complaints because they are the same as every other tall woman on the face of the earth. It is what it is, everyone gets picked on for something right?

It matters everywhere else though. Sitting in airline seats, going to the movies, buying a car, looking for a dress that hits an appropriate length. Buying work pants, long sleeve shirts. And even down to my breaking point today; compression socks. Everything costs more money. If I dont want a hunchback I need custom countertops in my home, an extra tall or sit stand desk for work, the list keeps goin. It always costs more money by a LOT.

I have a vericose vein that is giving me trouble on my leg after losing 120lbs. I hunted and found "tall friendly" compression socks, which is required by my insurance for a certain amount of time before I am allowed to get it fixed. Mind you, this is yet another financial punishment of an extra $60 on top of the normal cost. I measured my measurements. I did everything like I am supposed to. I get them delivered after waiting eternity (because nothing tall is ever on amazon) and they dont even go mid thigh and immediately roll down.

I hate this so much. I just want to be fucking normal. I searched and this was the only place I could find under $120, and they are non refundable.

No offense, but I do not want to hear the opinions and feedback of short or average sized people. You don't get it. Do not tell me how you always wished you were taller (but not THAT tall because you wouldn't want to be a freak, right?).

its really hard to talk about i dont know where to start and im really upset and trying to not panic. im 22 now and we met when i was 17. i wont disclose what happened/what he did to me during those times. hes now in a very popular, liked and respected group in the rp scene and they do not know what he did to me or my age. i feel extremely anxious even saying this as hes controlled my life up until this point and i dont know what to do. i feel like all of my opinions and understanding of adulthood was just what he wanted from me and now none of it fits into society nobody else im seeing does or wants the things i was taught to do and be. i met him when i had just gotten discharged from being in the hospital for almost a year and having had multiple lung surgeries. he made me feel like i could trust him and that he was the only one i could trust ever. and that only he understood me. he taught me most things as i didnt go to school and didnt have a good household or any role models. im sorry if my grammar is not great im really anxious and upset and hurt right now and im really scared i dont know what to do i just feel really confused. i dont know who to be i dont know who i am. i dont know what i want or how to exist without him telling me what to do. he used me to do all the coloring and shading and anatomy corrections in his artwork behind the scenes that hes taken all the credit and adoration for. hes used me for so many things including things for pleasure that i never told anyone about. i feel really hurt. he abandoned me out of anger because i couldnt fix his photoshop thing and i started apologizing because i was already under a lot of stress due to someone losing their life at the same day and he knew that. i dont know if i should try to reach out to the WoW community and warn them about him or that rp community/group? i dont know if i should just keep burying this deep down in my head? i dont know what im doing and i dont know what to do. i dont know how to feel and i have no support.