First off, I apologize to all the New Mexico lovers. I also know I can move, but I'm compromising living here for a few years for my partners work. I also love my job and my home life, so it's not all misery.

I just don't understand the love for this state. It is not beautiful. There are pockets of beauty, but most of it is flat and ugly. Also a slog to drive thru.

The food is bland. When I first moved here, people were saying how the mexican food is nothing like Tex-Mex. It is exactly like Tex-Mex with green chili slapped on top of it. Nobody knows how to season their beef. I live near Old Mesilla, so I've been to all the suggestions already. The only place that stood out was Mad Jacks (bbq) but you have to wait two hours, so again not worth it.

Everything is way overpriced. Cloudcroft and Ruidoso aren't worth it. Neither is Old Mesilla or Old Town in Albaquerque. You can buy that same stuff in Mexico, where it came from, for 1/4 of the price.

Albaquerque and the hot air balloon fiesta was a let down. Don't care for the city and a light breeze canceled the take off of the hot air balloons. I'm not saying they should have taken off and risked safety, but it still doesn't make a good event.

People are nice. But everyone just moseys around. Trying to get any kind of service is like pulling teeth and then they half ass it.

I just don't vibe with this state and dread that I still have a few more years here. I loved the city I moved here from and want to go back.

Look im not here to criticize im just saying I constantly hear the accusation thrown at men and while its 100% true so have women. The sheer amount of women constantly throwing around "blowing my back out" and calling their partners "daddy" again not trying to harsh on anyone's yums but like thats a learned behavior not an innate one. And look I'm not super dominant in bed as a man, but im effective at pleasing my partner. So if I have to deal with one more just gross hookup; im quitting. Im at the point now where im just like yeah we can do it in the most unenjoyable way possible if I get little spoon after. A while many block me it weeds out what I dont want :p

Everything about my existence is about my freaking height. For context. I am a 6' tall woman. I would generally say that being tall is fine. Sure I get annoyed at the "do you play basketball" and "how is the weather up there?" But being well past my teens people don't bully me for it anymore. I will save the social complaints because they are the same as every other tall woman on the face of the earth. It is what it is, everyone gets picked on for something right?

It matters everywhere else though. Sitting in airline seats, going to the movies, buying a car, looking for a dress that hits an appropriate length. Buying work pants, long sleeve shirts. And even down to my breaking point today; compression socks. Everything costs more money. If I dont want a hunchback I need custom countertops in my home, an extra tall or sit stand desk for work, the list keeps goin. It always costs more money by a LOT.

I have a vericose vein that is giving me trouble on my leg after losing 120lbs. I hunted and found "tall friendly" compression socks, which is required by my insurance for a certain amount of time before I am allowed to get it fixed. Mind you, this is yet another financial punishment of an extra $60 on top of the normal cost. I measured my measurements. I did everything like I am supposed to. I get them delivered after waiting eternity (because nothing tall is ever on amazon) and they dont even go mid thigh and immediately roll down.

I hate this so much. I just want to be fucking normal. I searched and this was the only place I could find under $120, and they are non refundable.

No offense, but I do not want to hear the opinions and feedback of short or average sized people. You don't get it. Do not tell me how you always wished you were taller (but not THAT tall because you wouldn't want to be a freak, right?).

Are people from the State of WA nuts? I have to deal with them on occasion from work and the lady today finally said "You don't get it.....people out here are different"

No kidding.

Just wanting to vent because I’m not sure if there is anything to do besides process and move on. So here’s the story:

I (30F) recently got out of a relationship. He was great but we just weren’t aligned enough on things like family planning, sexual preferences, and differing views on mental health. We broke up with no bad blood. As I said one of the reason for the breakup was a sexual compatibility issue so when we broke up I had an itch to scratch. I texted someone (29M) that I slept with prior to my relationship. The sex was decent before, but he had a third leg that I just wanted a piece of. After some sexting and texting we make plans to meet up. We live an hour and a half from each other so my intention was to go over to his place, bone, and leave in the morning so I could go to work. Easy peasy in my head.

When I get there around 10pm we go to his room and we talk briefly and catch up while Law and Order is playing on his tv. He eventually makes his way over to me, puts my hand on his junk, and starts recalling texts I was sending about wanting to eat him up. I do just that, he comes, then he gets dressed and starts acting coy like he has something to say. After coaxing it out of him, he then tells me that this will be our last time hanging out because he just started talking to someone else and he also said I need to “heal” from my last relationship. I say okay… I thought the timing of him sharing that was weird but I’m an adult and took it for what it was. He then takes a phone call for 45ish minutes in another room.

He comes back and sits in a nearby chair while I’m lying down on his bed. He scrolls on his phone for maybe 10 minutes before I point it out to him and he says “what do you want me to do” and I said “I thought we’d at least talk a little.” We don’t lol. Eventually he comes back over to me and asks him to get him back up and I do. He tells me to get on all fours and he rubs my clit for maybe 5 seconds before ramming himself into me. As I said before he has a third leg. So I was asking him to slow down so I could adjust to him. He slowed down briefly, then kept going harder. At one point I was telling him to wait over and over again and he kept saying no. He came after maybe 5 minutes and went to clean himself up and said he was going to sleep. At this point it was maybe midnight so i had been there for 2 hours. I tell him I feel like i might just go back home and he said “it’s up to you” and so I left. He didn’t kiss me or tell me to get home safe or anything.

So I’m not going to jump to assault but I will say I did leave his house feeling gross and used. I’ve had a few casual encounters no strings attached and I have never felt like I was treated as less than human. I feel like he didn’t care about my comfort, my pleasure, and didn’t really want me there but was fine getting what he could out of me.

I did text him the next day telling him I felt like that was weird and he wasn’t really feeling it and he was like “maybe I’m just not that horny” which??? Why have me come over??? I assumed we knew what it was especially with all the buildup.

I started feeling gross like something was wrong with me. Either I wasn’t pleasing him, did I stink, did I not feel good? Something? It messed with my self esteem for a second to be honest. I think he was just an asshole. But I’m trying to reconcile it all.

Edit: a few of you all are calling out that i went to him and i called him. me driving to him was a last minute change he was supposed to drive to me. but we both have roommates and his was gone for the night… i don’t get how some of yall are assuming that i was chasing this man down for sex when all the energy before i got to his place was mutual. he was texting me and pressing me before i entertained him. when he told me he was talking to someone else he said it was a woman he met at his gym two weeks ago… judge me if you want but once he said that i thought to myself that this would clearly just be sex (which is what i wanted) and i was fine with one last hoorah.

i take accountability for having way more patience for than the situation called for but also remember i was coming from 1.5 hours away i wasn’t about to leave when he took his phone call because i had been there about than an hour at that point. he did come back and apologize for the call taking so long for whatever that’s worth.

I can’t mention any discontent about my job because then she goes on a rant about how young people don’t know how to deal with shitty aspects in job culture.

Basically you should be grateful for a paycheck no matter how bad you are treated or if another job could be better.

It would be bad enough on its own except it’s worse because SHE HASNT HAD A CAREER IN OVER 30 YEARS.

She basically just does whatever she wants all day ever since having kids. And we have all been out of the house for over 15yrs. She just cleans imaginary messes, shops and goes to appointments maybe twice a month.

No she isn’t depressed or physically unable. She’s not retirement age. My father isn’t even rich she just said one day “no I’m not working anymore. You can divorce me or suck it up.”

So I HATE HATE HATE that she will lecture me about the job market or working at all. Epitome of the boomer stereotypes. So is my dad but he really did have to work.

I like to talk about sex as a topic like anything else that fascinates me, but people (especially men) take it as an invitation to make advances towards me although I make it abundantly clear that I don’t want that. It really kills the enjoyment because it makes me feel violated or as though it’s my fault they crossed my boundaries. People who actually respect them are few and far between.

I am sure I speak for everybody when I write this informal letter to Gen X and millennials.

Dear the two generations that came before us, it is not 1972 anymore. I cannot just walk into a grocery store, with my resume, hand it to a manager, and get offered a job the very next day. I can't just walk into an establishment, ask if they are hiring, and get an interview right on the spot. I cannot just print out my resume, and go store to store, restaurant to restaurant, or go door to door like an old politician, and find a job. I cannot just ask to speak with the manager, and ask him if he has any job openings, and if I could possibly have an interview. I can't just walk into a coffee shop and ask them for a job and they give it to me. I can't just walk into a dental office and ask to be a receptionist and drop off my resume and have a job the next day.

It does not work like that anymore. And I am so tired of you guys thinking that it does. No stores have in person applications, you have to fill out everything online. When you walk into a store, they actually don't know if they are hiring, and the first thing they tell you is to check online and apply there. You need a degree, 10 years of experience, and 5 in that industry, just to get an entry level job now.

No, I can't just walk into a restaurant and ask to start his dishwasher. You need 5 years of kitchen experience, with a food handling certification in order to even be anywhere near the dishwasher. I can't just walk into a restaurant and ask to be a prep cook. You have to have 10 years of kitchen experience, Plus at least three with knives and being a prep cook. It is not that simple anymore.

Not only is it not that simple, but it is more expensive. You could make $28,980 per year, and buy NEW car within the same year if you had no other hlusehold expenses or you rented. You want to know how long it would take somebody on that income now to buy a new car? Probably 5 to 10 years. You could buy a new house after saving up for only 5 to 7 years. You want to know how long it takes us now to buy a house? It's impossible. It's not doable.

I am so tired of the older generation tell myself and other people just to get a job and move out. That's not possible.

I don't know if people really realize just how dangerous cars are, especially at high speeds. Even 50km/hr is an insane rate for a human body to travel. Let alone 110km/hr. I truly don't understand why anyone thinks its okay to tailgate, cut people off or just generally be inconsiderate on the road. The other drivers could be entirely and without question in the wrong and be driving bad, camping in the left lane, accelerating slow, whatever you want to get mad about, but that still doesn't give you the right to drive in a way that could kill someone if something goes wrong? Your ego or getting somewhere on time or "teaching someone a lesson" is so so not worth the risk of driving like a dick. I don't care what the other driver is doing. Just stay safe.

Edit: Maybe I should have added that I made this post because I drive everywhere for work and I saw so much bullshit on the road. I made this post because a close friend of mine just died because another driver couldn't be fucked to pay attention and slow down for 30 seconds. I hope to god all of you taking a problem with this never learn your lesson and continue to be ignorant of how dangerous driving is. I would never wish a reality check on anyone.

its really hard to talk about i dont know where to start and im really upset and trying to not panic. im 22 now and we met when i was 17. i wont disclose what happened/what he did to me during those times. hes now in a very popular, liked and respected group in the rp scene and they do not know what he did to me or my age. i feel extremely anxious even saying this as hes controlled my life up until this point and i dont know what to do. i feel like all of my opinions and understanding of adulthood was just what he wanted from me and now none of it fits into society nobody else im seeing does or wants the things i was taught to do and be. i met him when i had just gotten discharged from being in the hospital for almost a year and having had multiple lung surgeries. he made me feel like i could trust him and that he was the only one i could trust ever. and that only he understood me. he taught me most things as i didnt go to school and didnt have a good household or any role models. im sorry if my grammar is not great im really anxious and upset and hurt right now and im really scared i dont know what to do i just feel really confused. i dont know who to be i dont know who i am. i dont know what i want or how to exist without him telling me what to do. he used me to do all the coloring and shading and anatomy corrections in his artwork behind the scenes that hes taken all the credit and adoration for. hes used me for so many things including things for pleasure that i never told anyone about. i feel really hurt. he abandoned me out of anger because i couldnt fix his photoshop thing and i started apologizing because i was already under a lot of stress due to someone losing their life at the same day and he knew that. i dont know if i should try to reach out to the WoW community and warn them about him or that rp community/group? i dont know if i should just keep burying this deep down in my head? i dont know what im doing and i dont know what to do. i dont know how to feel and i have no support.

I came to the conclusion that I lacked empathy and even sympathy. I'm not very social or extroverted but I'm not a jerk either. I stay polite, not offensive to not get in troubles. But the thing is, my friend told me they were depressed, an another one told me they got raped and an another one that they felt like they were too much for this world.

I typed the message automatically "I hope you get better", "You need professional assistance" and so on but it was hypocritical. I have mixed feelings. I'm entertained and relieved that they got it worse than me but also annoyed because I don't give a fuck.

"I'm here for you" is always a lie, and it often comes from me.

I have the bad habit of lurking on people from the past. I was suddenly reminded of a guy I was talking to from October last year up until March this year. He broke up with me because according to him I was trying to “cuff” him. I live in a foreign country and I was simply trying to have someone around to talk to and share my thoughts and feelings. The breakup was bad and I suffered a lot for a few months.
Anyway, this morning I visited his ig profile and just so happens that he had a story posted. I used an anonymous story viewer site to see it. He had posted himself with a new girl.
It did sting. Not because I have feelings for him. I don’t. But because I’m pretty sure that the girl is his female friend that I already had my suspicions about. Also because when we were together I was treated so badly and she got a completely different treatment.
I’m feeling sad for myself because I just don’t understand why? I’m a nice person and everyone says I’m very beautiful. I have 2 degrees and on my way to getting the 3rd. So I’m obviously not stupid.
I don’t get why I get treated this way:(

I kinda overestimated the gap I had for a left turn yield and a car honked at me bc when I was going to make my turn they were farther away than I thought. The speed was like 35 mph near campus..

I just feel kinda bad though, I wish there was like a way I can apologize to them. Idk if flashing the hazard lights are collectively seen as a quick apology. Maybe I should wave my hand out the window whenever I make a mistake like that again, like I won’t be a bit more cautious next time but still lol. Maybe they saw the wave and me mouthing sorry to them in my clear ass fishbowl windows.

I’m just gonna go about my day like I sent a telepathic thought transmission saying “sorry abt turning left too early, I overestimated my gap I had and how far away you were. I won’t do that again and I will be more patient when making left turns like that!! Have a good day!”

I don’t think this was like. A crazy bad driving mistake. Esp compared to when I was freshly starting out driving with my instructor. But I feel bad abt it so Imma get it off my chest here and move on lol

15F and im going to go nuts bro

ive been throwing up consistently since like mid summer, it started once every two months then once a month then once every two weeks then once a week now almost two or three days out of a week multiple times a day

any time i threw up before my dad would assume I was making myself do it to miss school like he used to (even though it was happening during summer and during weekends too just not as often cus there’s not as many weekend days as weekdays obviously?????)

he finally started believing me after I threw up in front of him a couple times but EVERY time i throw up there’s almost some excuse from either of my parents

like I haven’t eaten yet even tho it happens when I eat too

im stressed about school even tho it happens on weekends too

my diets bad even tho my diets went to shit NOW because I can only eat bland foods like 3 days outta the week, my diet used to be really good actually and I used to be super healthy

finally after me begging my mam to let me go to the doctors, she booked an appointment and I went

the doctor was asking a lot questions related to bulimia but when I persisted that I was perfectly happy with my body (which I am) she prescribed nausea pills

they worked and I had like a week of bliss, this morning I threw up right after taking them though and have had another day of vommitting

my parents keep coming up with more excuses and im going to actually go insane bro

My husband has no fucking common sense. There is 0 attention to detail, 0 awareness, 0 mindfulness. We right atleast once a week because he is bot at all cognizant of his actions. I can never relax because it feels like I have to parent him all the time.

Things are always lost, broken, or ruined.

We went to a music festival this weekend. I told him 3 times not to cut off his wristband and he STILL DID IT so we had to pay to get it replaced.

I was putting mine into my shadowbox, he grabbed it out to show his cousin and FUCKING LOST IT.

Im infuriated.

I can never have anything. I can't have art on the walls because hell knock it over, I can't have nice clothes because he fucks up the laundry, I can't have bras that fit because he "accidentally" took them fron where they were hanging and ran them through the washer and dryer, I can't keep the house clean because he comes through like a tornado, I can't have my clear water bottle for work because he put it through the dish washer

For context:

Today I woke up at 3AM in the morning. Immediately went downstairs, opened the fridge, and saw the mango cake that we bought the day prior for my late grandfather's birthday (he passed away early this year but we still celebrate the deceased's birthdays as as a form of commemoration), and decided I wanted to eat it for breakfast.

Now growing up, in my country, cake was considered just another form of bread that even little kids could have for breakfast so I thought how bad could it be? What's the worse that could happen? I'll probably be fine.

That was the worst fucking mistake I have ever made in my life.

I have shat pure water 4x already since 5AM and have nearly shit myself 2x.

And the worst part is after the 1st shit our water had cut off (I assume for maintenance) so I was entirely relying on stored water (I don't use toilet paper, we believe in bidet supremacy).

After the 3rd shit our house had completely run out of water but I assumed I would be fine. I had my lunch, and even drank a mango shake (another horrible mistake).

2 hours ago I was playing league and had felt a rumble in my tummy (I knew it was back and wanted to play but I decided to ignore it in hopes of it being through a fart).

But as soon as the nexus fell, I felt a strong surge of wattery shit right in the exit of my ass coming out and had needed to use every muscle in my body to keep it in.

I knew I had lost.

I ran down the stairs and yelled "I CAN'T HOLD IT IN. I'M GOING TO SHIT MYSELF."

And immediately ran to the toilet.

I sat down and the flood breaks broke through and everything came out.

When I turned the tap on and no water came out I knew this was it. I'm now in it for the long ride.

I have sat here for the past hour and a half with dried shit all over my ass and a cramping asshole and balls and can do nothing about it.

The bathroom smells so bad it could suffocate a young child.

I then realized that the water most likely would come back at midnight (It's currently 7:30) since it usually does at that hour.

I've given up completely and am just sitting here regretting all the decisions I had made in life leading up to this.

If only I had reheated the chicken instead of eating that damn cake and why the fuck did I make a mango shake again? What's wrong with me.

I just hope God smiles down at me and turns the water on even for just 5 minutes.

Thank you for listening.

Goodbye.

So where to start. Ive found trouble in life, I wasn't a bad kid I wouldnt say. For the most part I followed the rules. I was driven to rebel at times by an inner " fuck it " in me where I deserved the outcome I got. No one scared me more then my 6 ft 4 narcassistic father with a raging temper from his own childhood trauma. Other grown men in groups never challenged him when I was around. Not once. So it re-assured me I didnt just think he was tough because he was my dad, he was a scary fucking guy.

I grew up with a kid who I hung out with a few times. Originally I played baseball with him at a young age. Didn't know him well. He was cocky, alot taller than me at that age until later in high school therefore better at cross country which I dominated my own school despite my being short til grade 5. In grade six me and this kid tyler were put in the sane senior Public school and he was defibetly better at some sports. Baseball and hockey were not school sports which I played competitively outside of school. We remained acquaintances, not so much friends. To be honest he hung around some of my friends cause we all played sports but he wasn't my friend. We saw him as a little over the top cocky and defibetly an ass kisser when it came to teachers and authority. Which me and my friends were not. Even one of my closest friends whos dad was the head of the local o.p.p. did not kiss authoritys ass.

In high school my house became the weekend party house because my parents had a trailer on the weekends the left for and my place was wide open. For the most part I was responsible and kept the parties small. There's always that one bigger one though and it came around grade 11. I was 16. Had an older acquaintance buy the booze and just had everyone pay a certain fee as they came in and that allotted them enough drinks to get a good buzz. All except for one brought their own booze. The earlier mentioned tyler decided to come. The same tyler who I found out later had brought the booze cause they were leftover ironically from a party he had at his own house a week before. As the night went on he proceeded to open a box of mini Cinnabons cereal and started spitting them on the floor just to be a dick or think it was a funny way to disrespect the house I guess. I glanced at my friend jeff who was about my height but 260 and solid and gave him the nod. He grabbed him and together we escorted him nicely, not roughing him up just making him walk as best he could out to my friends car. It was only a 5 minute ride to his parents house but at the last second we pulled up to his front yard I could tell he was gonna puke so I opened his door. After the car stopped I shoved him out rather gently with my foot and left him there.

A few days later im hanging with my friend Jeff who was the gut who helped escort him home, ( and older friend of Jeff's older brother was the one who drove as he hadnt drank ) but my dad had called Jeff's dad who was the o.p.p. officer and we both got rounded up to go to my parents place which we knew was odd. At first dad had my and jeff because we were younger move a two seated bench he had built from the backyard to the front deck while we knew our dad's who didnt really know eachother talked. Apparently Tyler's dad had called and said his sun stumbled in drunk a couples nights before and had been drinking at my parents place. Booze we served him lol. The part of the story left out is that tyler had brought his own booze from the household of the man complaining where he had a party just one weekend before with people drinking. Apparently he went on to say he could sue and blah blah my dad said he gad hung up on him before he could finish lol. But me and my friend jeff got a speech about how parents could be liable if something happened with someone drinking at the house reassured by Jeff's dad the o.p.p. officer to hit the point home which im sure is why dad had him bring us over.

The irony of all this is Tyler who was always a cocky prick and obviously was the dick in this story who committed more wrong and lied is now a cop. Lol. And his father that called was later involved in a major lawsuit and found guilty of embezzling money to himself from a multi million dollar auto motive factory he worked in the office for. Do I have a problem with all this. Fuck yah I do and sonetimes you just need to put the story out there. I have a few more about the mafia in blue that happened later. Which I will post another time. Ty to all that took the time to read this and have a good one my friends!

I am currently in college and live with two of my closest friends. We’re currently third years and have known each other since high school and are very close.

Anyways we used to talk all the time in the common area at night or just do school work together. Anyways one girl, let’s call her Sarah, her and her boyfriend call at night (he’s off campus and she’s on) and like go on their Minecraft world? The other girl, let’s say Rebecca, is kinda in the talking stage with this new guy and is on call with him all the time at night.

Anyways I barely see them outside of their rooms and they rarely come out to the common room unless to cook or tell me something about the house work. Whenever I do get to talk to them, it all comes back to boys. About what one’s boyfriend is doing or about how the other is always making plans with her talking stage. I’m sick of it. I try to make plans and change the subject but I get nothing. Instead Rebecca says she’s burnt out but makes plans with the guy and keeps talking about him. Sarah, on the other hand just hangs out with her boyfriend all the time (they’ve been dating for a bit over a year now).

I kinda just miss talking with them and have told them such but nothing. So what do I do? I have other friends and I do hangout with them, but these two are my closest friends here. I’m graduating early as well (this year) and they’ll still be in college next year so I want to make the most of our time together. Idk. I feel as though I’m becoming secondary to men. I keep doing work in the common room and like hope one of them will come out but instead I just hear both of their calls side by side. I don’t want to keep hoping. I know it’s petty but I wish they’d show the same care for me as I did them.

Tldr: I’m probably just insecure in my friendships with my roommates because we don’t talk as much anymore. I kinda want to just move on and don’t know how.

I have spent my entire college life pursuing biology to go into research/ continue with a medical laboratory science certification. I thought I would like it and I do but I just feel so hollow sometimes. However, I can’t deny that I am very fortunate enough to have excellent grades and experience in conducting research. What’s hurting me is knowing that when I was growing up I enjoyed acting and making art/comics and was encouraged by my teachers and peers to continue.

I was a wimp though, and didn’t follow through in order to make immediate money from anything STEM related and have a career off the bat. Sadly, this doesn’t even seem possible in the time we live in so I feel like life really says I can’t have either.

I’m lucky that I found a science field that I’m semi-passionate about but it just cannot beat the joy I get from putting paint on canvas or acting out skits with my friends. And the bigggg painfully sour cherry on top of my regret flavored cake is knowing I can incorporate my main love into my life (as a hobby), but never to the extent I want where it can be my whole career.

Sigh

I miss my mom, i miss the guy i loved, all i want is understanding and love and comfort, it's a privilege to have i know but my heart is in so much pain i worked so hard for that so why can't i have it? I don't want to grow up not at all... I wanna go back to being a baby i just want someone to hold me so bad it's all i ever wish for, i pay everyday for this one thing and all i crave is someone that is all, can all this terrible terrible pain be compensated? I forgive God for it i really do but i just want this one thing to have please my chest hurts really bad i don't wanna die alone it's my biggest fear, i don't wanna be alone right now i just want to be told i wont be by myself and I'll be okay that's all i want..

Help needing to make a list with demands, for my sister. (She already gave me one)

Let me 24F start by saying I love my sister 22F but she’s making it difficult.

She asked me on the phone about a list of expectations for her and o would like some help to formulate those in a way it doesn’t make the situation worse.

She is currently pregnant with baby number 1.

I want to be in the life of my nieces and nephews. Else I’d cut contact and have my peace.

Her List:

~ make an effort to reach out to her

~treat her with respect

~Respect her decision and don’t question or judge them

~Respect and don’t judge her wishes regarding her family, lifestyle, way she raises her kids

~Respect her Family

~No cursing

My problems with the list

~ the last time we met she ignored me most of the time.

She told me I’m only in the wedding group chat so I don’t feel excluded. Now she’s pissed I didn’t help more.

Everytime we talk it’s about how mean everyone else is and shittalk about them.

~ She doesn’t treat me with respect. 0! She has a habit of treating me infront of other like a disabled child. And tried to get her to stop that so many different times and she hasn’t.

~ Her decision was to have a baby (no accident) with a man 8 years older who she has known for 4 months. And be a stay at home mom with no education. I respect it. But I certainly questioned it.

~ Times in the past she still hasn’t forgiven me where I disregarded her wishes (according to her) include:

I said I wish to earn more money than you hypothetical future husband, (after she told me how rich he’ll be)

That I wish her child will be gay (after she said I’m just imagining being attracted to women)

That I joked I’ll give her kid a children’s book about the Lovelife of animals.

Some of those happend over three years ago. And she is still pissed

Also I’m not allowed to tell the kid that I’m Bi.

Tell it what sex and sexuality is or that god doesn’t exist (I never even planned to do that! )

~ i aktuelly like her fiance. During family dinners i usually sit down next to him or opposite and talk to him so my sister has to talk to my parents without hiding behind him.

And of course I’ll love the child

~ she said no courses even if I stub my toe. But the N-word is ok. That’s the only one that’s fine.

Additional wishes from me:

~For her not to be so goddam racist and xenophobic. Like when she was talking about gypsîs in Rome.

~Not so homo and transphobic. Like all are confused and perverts.

~That I can actually ignore for the most part but it’s so fucking embarrassing if she says that stuff in public and I’m next to her.

~What really hurts me is her sexism and misogyny. Like when she said that the rape of my cousin 16F wasn’t so bad because she at least she wasn’t a virgin. (I wasn’t present during that one)

~ that she treats me with respect and that I can trust her when things go south. But she has proven time and time again impossible so I’m not sure I should add it.

So I (28M single and have never been in a relationship) I see a few posts online talking about their significant other either wanting to have sex not often enough and so they cheat and it confuses me because why don't you just communicate about it and if they can't give you the attention you need (not judging) then just leave. I've had a few of my friends and coworkers complain about it to and I'm just like IDK Big Dawg I can't even get a date with a woman.

Shit like this really confuses me like the amount of negative relationship posts outnumber the wholesome ones to god damn much. Makes me scared to get into a relationship sometimes.

Anywho I will continue to do my best to ignore all the negative posts and be steadfast in socializing with the opposite gender I hope everyone has had a great day today and drank enough water.

Thank you if anyone actually reads all of my yapping. ❤️

Fffffffuu why do I have to be struggling so much with these exams. They literally determine what I can and can't do for the rest of my life and NOW I start being unable to do stuff I used to find easy. I feel so helpless right now and I just honestly want to curl up on my bed and go to sleep and maybe it will all go away for good. I feel ungrateful saying this but I just hate this life. My entire future resting on these exams is ludicrous. Now I'm so stressed I can hardly remember the small details of what happened an hour ago unless it contributed to my stress. I have probably failed one of my optional exams (not too bad because no college really cares about it anyway) but I also think I have only got a slightly above average passing grade in my second best subject. I NEED the top grade in that to study at the selective college I want to go to. But now I will probably never get in and my life will surmount to nothing of significance. I will just be another star in the sky. Actually, no, not even that. I am not worthy of being called a star. Just another bit of space debris or some other dark, lonely, useless, solitary, unwanted lump of atoms of the like.

Please don't take offence from this regarding grades, anyone. I know I should be happy with above average grades, but I know I can achieve more so I can't be happy until I reach my goals, something which I have now fumbled in the most epic fail in the history of me. I also just have some stupid problem where I can never be happy with anything but the best from myself if I have an interest in something and I'm crying a lot now so I'm just going to leave it here.

I don’t know why I feel bad, I stood up for myself. Talked to my therapist before proceeding with speaking to HR at my job, checked in with myself after putting up with his innuendos and comments about my body. I heard I wasn’t the only person he would say these things to which only made me feel worse and angrier at the fact that this person was so comfortable with being a weirdo towards others. It was actually hard for me to speak up, I’d gone through abuse (verbal, mental and physical) my entire childhood and when I did speak up to adults like my mom or the daycare teachers- nothing ever happened. I guess I just got used to submitting to the discomfort and dealing with it because that’s how it’s always been before. Now as an adult I advocated for myself and others and it actually was acknowledged. How weird. My brain hasn’t really processed that part. But it has processed how I feel bad about them losing their employment and a way to provide for their family. I keep telling myself it was never my job to control what words came out of his mouth or what actions he committed- why does this weigh on me? Why didn’t he act like a civil normal person. I don’t understand why I’m confused. The whole time I talked to HR I was pinching myself under the table trying not cry, trying not to shut down. To remember I was there to protect myself, that’s my job now as an adult. I wish I didn’t feel so awkward and guilty for doing what I could to help me.

I am in a terrible social situation. I have a “friend” let’s call her Sadie. We are both in our twenties and have been BEST friends for the last 5 years or so.

We used to have a very equal friendship. However this year she has relied on me quite heavily and I gladly helped out. She had a lot going on and I completely understand that. I planned her wedding, made her dress, did the photography. Among various other regular friendship favours throughout the year. I was happy to help out a friend. But in return she has proceeded to lose all respect for me.

At the start of the summer she out of nowhere started becoming critical of me. She’s always been very outspoken and opinionated. But it shifted. It just became random attacks on my character. I didn’t take it personally at first and just assumed it was pre-wedding stress, financial stress etc. but it has been months now and she still acts like she no longer likes me.

The part where things became concerning for me is that she started bad mouthing me very severely to our mutuals. All of her friends are my friends that I introduced her to. Luckily my friends have also noticed how odd Sadie has been acting and swear her shit talking won’t get to them. But it’s incredibly disheartening to know that this person I have bent over backwards for is going around bashing me.

She has straight up made up lies about me that are very serious. It’s like she’s spreading misinformation about every angle of my life. She is telling people my relationship with my boyfriend is miserable and insinuated he ABUSES me?!?? (He absolutely does not. We have a very respectful and stable relationship). I’m just baffled that she is doing this and don’t understand her motivation.

We did have a “chat” (I did NOT mention that I know what she’s been saying behind my back). I went into the conversation calmly telling her that I feel her view of me has changed and that she no longer likes me, and asked if there’s anything I did to cause that. She immediately proceeded to go full defence-mode. Asked for “evidence” of her treating me differently. Every point I brought up she denied and turned around against ME. Claiming it’s because I’m negative, that I’m a bad person etc. her examples were very odd like “you curse in public”….. (so does she). She just kept saying vile things toward me, literally just describing every part of me that she doesn’t like.

At the end of the chat I took accountability for having been depressed and emotionally distant…but I did ask if she could acknowledge that despite my mental struggles I was very communicative and still came through as a friend for her and did the wedding etc. I also asked if she could simply take some accountability for being harsh toward me.

She didn’t take any accountability and I ended up mentally checking out and just agreeing to whatever she felt. And left the conversation agreeing that everything is “my fault” I just couldn’t take the attacks any more.

The part that really hit me is that within this conversation one of her attacks was to mock my MENTAL HEALTH. Sadie is a friend who knows everything about my life and my mental struggles etc. and I cannot fathom how someone who knows how difficult it is for me can flip and make fun of my difficulties.

I just don’t think I can ever view her the same after that. But because I “admitted fault” she thinks everything is good now.

Anyways. She now STILL won’t stop bad mouthing me. I just want a break from her.

The issue is that she is DANGEROUSLY revengeful. If I tell her I no longer want to be friends, she WILL get worse with her “retaliation” toward me. I know her.

Aaaaaand…. We are coworkers. Yay.

So I am forced to work with her every damn day. And she has told people that I should be fired. She even told me that my boss wants to fire me (he’s never mentioned a single concern to me in months)

So I have a feeling she’s TRYING to get me fired. Or if I do anything else to upset her she WILL get me fired (she’s veryyyy buddy buddy with the boss)

Anyways. I can’t take it. I am now looking for a different job, paranoid that she will turn my friends against me, and unfortunately I AM now affected by her critical remarks.

The way she has acted toward me has set off a domino effect in my brain where I can’t stop questioning if I’m just a horrible person that people tolerate while actually hating. My brain now won’t stop spiralling.

I just don’t understand why she has flipped a switch and decided she hates everything about me. Especially after I have spent this year being so incredibly supportive of her.

I’m tired. All she had to do was nothing. She had a friend who was always there for her. She had a free wedding . And all I asked in return was nothing. Instead I got hatred.

TLDR: My best friend suddenly hates me and won’t stop shit talking me after I ran entire wedding for her and supported her through soooo much this year.