r/TryingForABaby • u/tessblrr • 21h ago
ADVICE Not sure what to do next - lap/IUI/IVF/something else?
My (32F) husband (31M) and I have just started our 12 cycle of trying without a single positive test, after which we will officially fit the diagnosis of “unexplained infertility”.
I had my Mirena removed in October 2025 after being on BC for 10-15 years. My cycles returned pretty much straight away and have been 30-32 days with ovulation generally around CD19-20 (ie semi-short luteal phase). I usually start spotting 1-2 days before my period (~10-11 DPO the last couple of cycles).
A summary of what tests we’ve done already:
- SA x 2 - both no issues, all within range
- HyCoSy & internal ultrasound (x2) - tubes clear, no adhesions or other issues noted
- Basically every blood test applicable (AHM/full hormone panel incl cortisol (I thought it might be stress from work…)) - all within normal range
- I use Mira and BBT (via Apple Watch) for cycle tracking which have confirmed ovulation every month (first ultrasound noted a corpus luteum and second noted follicles maturing so there don’t seem to be issues there). I admit some months timing hasn’t been great but it’s been good more often than not.
- We’ve both significantly cut down on drinking and don’t smoke weed, and I’ve been taking every prenatal and fertility-related vitamin under the sun.
- All other pieces of random advice (just relax, dont track for a cycle, go on holiday, etc etc)
The only thing we haven’t tested is blood progesterone at 7DPO which I am doing this month (currently CD4). I suspect this might be part of the problem because of the short luteal phase but it has also been longer the last two cycles (12 days instead of 10) so perhaps not.
We saw a fertility specialist about a month ago who essentially said he suspects I have mild endo and our only option is to have a diagnostic laparoscopy and/or do IVF. I’ve never even considered endo for myself as my periods aren’t painful or heavy and I’ve never really had any of the symptoms but he seemed adamant. I mentioned the short luteal phase and he said that’s another indication of endo and didn’t suggest a luteal phase blood test (I’m doing this on my own). He also said because I appear to be ovulating every month there isn’t any benefit of doing a medicated cycle either.
We’re at a bit of a loss as to what we should do next. Ideally we’d like a baby as fast as possible, but we also have limited funds to throw at this at the moment. From my perspective our options are:
Lap first - either pay $10k out of pocket for private (in Aus with no private health) or wait 12 months for public, noting that this might be a waste of time and/or money if it comes back clear like I think it might and we would need to do IVF anyways,
Try IUI first - this would be approx $1-1.5k out of pocket but doesn’t sound like it has a high chance of success if I DO in fact have endo and we again might have to do IVF anyway, however it sounds anecdotally like it can be successful and can’t hurt to try?; or
Straight to IVF - we found an IVF clinic in Melbourne that does bulk billed IVF which would be ~$4K all up (we live in Adelaide but my brother lives in Melbourne so we’d have somewhere to stay for the two weeks we’d need to be there for). The issue with this option is that I’m about to start a new job so getting the time off will be challenging, and the fertility specialist we saw said that if I do have endo we have a lower chance of successful IVF and I might end up needing to do the lap anyway.
Mentally I’m exhausted with this whole process and am at the point where I’m happy to throw shit at the wall hoping it’ll stick.
We’re incredibly lucky (well, unlucky because my dad died, but you win some, you lose some) in that I have some inheritance coming in sometime next year, so once that comes in we can afford to throw as much money at this as we like, but I really don’t want to waste another 6+ months doing nothing and would also prefer to keep that money for our baby if possible.
Question/advice that I’m looking for is:
1) Aside from the 7DPO progesterone test, is there anything we haven’t done that could be useful in either figuring out what is going wrong or improving our chances?
2) Is it worth doing an IUI first while we wait for the time/money to try IVF?
3) What would you do in our situation?
Sorry for the super long post but thank you for reading. 🩷