Im getting older and just dont fit in with my young trans friends in their 20s! I hope it fit in here

Just as mentioned, I'm shy of 4 months on HRT and biggest thing I can say is that I feel so much better. I can't wait for the one year mark 🖤♥️🖤

Edit: Started at 32 after having a meltdown on my birthday so y'know that was fun

Hi all! I am in a pickle, my therapist at the va has moved on and I tried a new one for the last few months and it has not worked out…I am wondering if anyone in this group can recommend a therapist in the Des Moines Iowa area?

I guess it’s not so unusual for older trans women to be torn between their family and finishing transition to full time as just me. Over a decade of secretly taking hrt and lying about it to my wife. Over a decade of our kids wondering when we will divorce and dad begin living full time as female. First two grandkids this year, and not certain I would ever be welcome around them again if I am living full time as me. Wanting to just be accepted and loved for being me. Tried the desperate attempt of purging again, after promising myself I would never do that again five years ago. Now I’m rebuilding all of my necessities and planning an appointment for a quality wig. Meanwhile, I’m beating myself up emotionally for again betraying my wife with my secrets. When will I ever get things right!?!

Mid-2000’s teenager Brooke would have been SO excited about this

Today, I felt beautiful. Some days, that feeling is fleeting and sporadic. Today, I didn't have on fancy clothes. I didn't do elaborate makeup. Today was just me, my old beat up sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and I felt beautiful. Which is really hard for me.. Because most days I feel so ugly inside and out. I know i've talked a lot about my separation from my wife. And honestly, I feel like a broken record because these feelings just keep playing on repeat. I have been trying all day long to just get myself to sit down and do my schoolwork with the bare minimum of success. I'm in the middle of midterms, and struggling so much to just make things happen. My grades are fine. I'm not worried about that.I'm just recognizing the struggle that i'm going through and how difficult it is to just "do" sometimes. This is my, or will be my second weekend away from home and it feels like a lifetime. I know it's going to be a long time before it happens for me. But I wish it would stop hurting so much. I can't keep redoing my makeup.

It's been a wild ride filled with sacrifice, rejection, acceptance, growth and finding who I am more day by day.

I think one of the best parts has been finding community. Finding myself within the trans and wider queer community has been a joy. Especially participating locally. Helping other girls going through similar things to me.

I came from a place of profound loneliness and isolation to one of being surrounded by support and love. I am so grateful for this!!

I can't wait to see where the next year takes me and how I can grow and help others as well.

Hola. Es la primera vez que escribo... me estoy peocupando por mi cintura/cadera. Soy mtf y voy 1 año y 2 meses de trh. No noto ningun cambio de la cintura para abajo. Arriba si. Pero abajo nada... ya deberia notar algo digamos en el trasero? Hago ejercicio pero no mas de 1 vez por semana pero dudo que sea el problema... por cierto tengo 35 años...ah. la cara también la noto exactamente igual. gracias.

Honestly was super nervous but a few pounds lighter, curbs , hips and chest coming in as well as my hair length lending itself to my new body really elevated my confidence! Not showing my face out of privacy though it is also seeing a lot of beautiful changes ! but I am very happy with how things are going and I just got the refil for the next 3 months! My doctor said we will increase my dosage on my next checkup so im very excited to see what wonderful changes are coming my way :)

There’s my inner self, out, she’s 52 and loving it! 😻

Love you guys, thank you for being so inspiring!!

As I’m still living very much in boymode day to day I am looking for seamless / invisible bra recommendations that can be worn under a tight t shirt compress a little and be invisible at the same time.
My main work is sports coaching so I need the support but also need the invisibility as well.

What’s your go to for something like this?

I got gendered correctly in my long sleeves crap shirt and jeans with only a little bit of make-up on... I didn't even tell him my name, just moved around.

I thought today was going to suck, but when he said that, my day almost instantly improved.

Alas still no boobs

Depends on the weather, but one of these two probably.

So I've been on hrt for coming up on two years now and over the past two years I have been *ravenous*. It's like being a teenager again with how hungry I am.

But in the last week or two, my appetite has just fallen off a cliff. I can't eat more than about half of what I used to, even if it's something I really like.

I've never experienced an appetite shift like this, but seeing as the increase was brought on by hrt it makes me think the decrease has the same source, but I wanted to ask if this has happened to anyone else?

I'm not terribly concerned or anything, I'm far from undereating or being malnourished, but I thought I'd ask out of curiosity.

Every time I post a selfie I end up getting at least one dm from someone who has obviously creepy, fetishizing intentions. Yesterday was no exception. I engaged, looking to give the benefit of the doubt. They kept trying to steer the conversation to talk about my hips, my breasts, how they would want pleasure from someone who would know how to please a man since they transitioned from being a man. I tell them I'm a Buddhist and what do you know, all of a sudden they are tired and must go to sleep. I guess the sex doll isn't allowed to talk about their interests/beliefs lol.

I started to like pink… and then I got this sweater (jacket?)… I told my daughter I like pink these days… and she hated pink to be the a girl color… and she said, “papa, you are beautiful in any color. And you don’t have to wear pink to be pretty!”

ambivalent
adjective
Having two opposing feelings at the same time, or being uncertain about how you feel:

- I felt very ambivalent about leaving home.
- He has fairly ambivalent feelingstowards his father.
- an ambivalent attitude to exercise

—-

It seems like trans people may have a lot of ambivalence to deal with. I wonder whether, with time, we get much better at it than the average person.

For example, in my case, being simultaneously happier and more confident than ever with the changes, but utterly heartbroken that my partner has now rejected me.

I have a feeling that the emotional changes of E have played a huge part in giving me the capacity to cope. I don’t think I would have had the “emotional resolution” to do it before.

Have you had to hold a lot of conflicting emotions?

I no longer see myself as in boymode with a bare face

/ᐠ˶>⩊<˶マ ₊˚⊹♡

39 turning 40 in a couple of months. Got prescribed HRT back in April but a kerfuffle with my blood pressure kept me from being able to start Estrogen. Spiro, while my blood pressure was worked on. Got it down in June and Started the patch. But my 3 month follow-up was also in June. I had been on the patch in June about two weeks and my levels were checked...mainly to check my kidney function with the Spiro and testosterone. Testosterone was below normal for cisgender men but still high for female and my Estrogen was high for men and low for female. Talked to my prescriber and she asked if I wanted to double the Estrogen. And I said no, we just started lets see where it is in 3 months when I have my follow-up.

Well Even though I'm changing the patch in the regular cycle my Estrogen is in normal male range and my testosterone came back a freaking 600....on a testosterone blocker. And it was a bit surprising because I've grown boobs, I have the growing pains, my hair started to grow back. I'm getting hips and look more curvy. But I feel like banging my head against the wall.