They moralize my medical need for MTF gender affirming surgery lying to me that God wouldn’t want me to have it which contradicts “With God, anything is possible”, demanding spiritual benchmarks a.k.a. moving the goalposts before "allowing" surgeries disguising it as “care” or “concern”, but they’re just being architects to my suffering. They even have the nerve to say I’m selfish when they’re manipulating me using shame to control me by saying I’m selfish because I’m not doing what they want me to do: be a straight or gay cisgender male.. They’re narcissistic!

I’m a trans girl who’s a teen and I’ve always knew that I was a girl from when I was 2, but tried to live as a Christian boy, feminine boy, and a trans girl. When I lived as a Christian boy it felt ”unnatural“ and being in a role that isn’t me and I had the pressure to act as a boy instead of myself and I got mental health issues from it. Then I tried living as a Christian trans girl and now I don’t have any pressure to change myself and feel the most honest and happiest I’ve ever been with God. But my mental health has been getting worse because I’ve been asking if we could start medical care for a long time and still my dad is saying no. My dad has seen my mental health getting worse and it’s obvious, but he says it’s all because of my wish of hormones that‘s made my mental health worse so we wouldn’t get it. He also doesn’t support trans anymore and thinks it could be a sin because he’s seen my mental health getting worse “after I became trans” even though I always was, but couldn’t because he used to be an anti-trabs and against trans Christians. He only believes I have gender dysphoria and I’m choosing to be trans and when I’m “reborn on Christ” my identity would change.

So I’m trying to do things that could help my situation and he doesn’t accept progressive Christian books at all so it’s hard to find stuff. The first part I did find; therapy sessions with Dr. Mark Yarhouse for my dad to learn to accept my identity and see me a girl, but Dr. Mark also doesn’t support medical care.

What are some books or resources that can help to be my next step that’s traditional Christian but also does support trans medical care?

Recently my trans friend who helped me come out is not in a good place right now. She won’t be able to get gender affirming care where she lives due to some political bs, and she’s concerned if she really is trans. I worry for her because she’s been open about her thoughts of ending her life early and with how she’s been talking about what she’s going through on Discord, I’m afraid she’ll make that mistake. Plz pray for her to be at peace with herself, transitioned or not, and to have hope in her own future. I couldn’t imagine a life without her. She’s agnostic from a Muslim family, so I also pray for her salvation. She’s too precious to lose to the darkness.