So i had a date with a man for the first time ever in my life. Im on hrt for a while now and i noticed a change that i find men more attractive (unfortunately) lol. We matched on hinge and later switched to whatsapp and he was just SO dry in texting. I asked him questions, gave him compliments etc. and he always just answered in 3 words without asking questions back.

Anyways we met in a Café and he came 30 min late. Talking with him was much better, played some card games and laughed a bit. It felt cute and we went to my place after, watched youtube and cuddled. The cuddling turned a little spicy which i liked. I got up to put on some ethel cain hehe to put the vibes on and wanted to cuddle some more.

BUT right after i got back into bed he got up grabbed something to eat put a Youtube video on (while the music was still playing like wtf?) And just ignored me. I was laying half naked in bed and he didnt look at me, didnt touch me anymore and said he needs to go now after he was finished eating. Mind you the video was like 20 min long and he didnt even look at me ONCE.

I then just said goodbye in a very pissed tone and he left. Was a few days ago, he didnt text me back.

Wtf was that?

My theory is that he got this weird gay panic some men have when they find transwomen attractive which is fucking stupid because its not gay to like transwomen. I think that because right before he ignored me we where cuddling and his face was in my crotch and maybe he paniced after? Lol

Most of time they read you one way or another and keep interacting with you that way. This is the first I have seen someone address me like a guy and then address me like a girl afterwards. i am in my boymode outfit. I was in the Gamestop to pick up my preorder release of Castlevania Belmont’s Curse. This looks like a young 20 something guy and my next birthday is number 50. This is a new employee I have not seen before. He calls me “buddy” when asking what I need. I give my phone number attached to my GameStop Account and he sees my “girl name” that I have changed my GameStop Account to. I tell him it is my future to be legal name. He asks how I want to be gendered. I told him it probably matters less at this point since I am pre HRT and know I don’t pass. I told him what happened when I got ma’amed while voting on Tuesday. That was one time I probably did not want to be ma’amed since I could be denied right to vote. We do some gaming small talk. When I do leave the store he tells me, “See you later my love”. Last I checked I don’t think men talk to another man that way unless he is gay. I have seen gay employees in GameStop before. He is not one of them. It went from buddy to my love.

ok, i guess im writing this to vent mostly.

long story short, ive been transitioning for a little over a year using estradiol valerate injections and progesterone.

last night was injection day and i drew up the last bit of medicine of one of my vials into my syringe. i noticed it was low, and without thinking i opened a new vial and stuck the *same syringe* in to draw up the rest of my meds. i pulled slightly extra and then squee the excess into the vial.

as soon as i did it i realized i fucked up. transferring meds from one vial to the other is like a biiiggggg no no and i def just wasted a fresh new vial. i feel so stupid and anxious now that i’m down one vial in a conservative state. i need to check when i can refill my prescription.

anyone else done the same?

I am post-orchi but I think I might have to start actually tucking 😭 do we keep wearing high-rise stuff or is there another way?

So i keep seeing posts about the shitty guidance and all tbe comments the typical transphobic bot shit as always.

But im fucking petrified cause im not well and im post op I dont want to go to a mens ward. People are gonna die

I got gendered correctly in my long sleeves crap shirt and jeans with only a little bit of make-up on... I didn't even tell him my name, just moved around.

I thought today was going to suck, but when he said that, my day almost instantly improved.

​

Sisters and girls. I wish we could all fund the money with many donations. And create a land just for us. For no one to harass us and call us names. We don't need TRUMP! What we need is peace and tranquility.

The wound area is only moderately painful. The painkillers worked well!

I'm mentally clear, just can't move. I finally have a pussy! Will be discharged in 6 days, then I'll be able to travel through Seoul a bit in 2 weeks if I recover well after discharge. I'm having a shallow depth vaginoplasty which means there is not a full vaginal canal, so the recovery.will be faster than full depth.

I finally made it! I started HRT on May 22 2024 and it's been 876 days of transitions---4 days longer than the Siege of Leningrad. It's finally done!

SO EXCITED AND HAPPY RN!!

I wanna be her so bad. Whenever I journal about April, I treat her like she’s separate from me. Like last week when I wanted to come out during a camp retreat but chickened out, I think about it as taking her over but leaving her in the car the whole time.

Other times when I’m in bed I imagine her in bed with me giving me cuddles and love.

I feel crazy

Edit: Thanks for all the good vibes. I’ve been openly inviting April to spend time with each other. She is so fun! My confidence in us is getting better, and hopefully I can show her to the world and people will love her.

After months of research and waiting for appointments, I finally got my prescription and can start HRT! Thank you to all of you for the support. I couldn’t have done it without you all!

I was responding to a question in another post, and when I typed that ‘as a femme trans woman I still love working on my [American 4x4 vehicle manufacturer that starts with a J]’ a warning popped up saying “Your post contains a term that is not accepted in this community.” Deleting the four letter vehicle make resolved the warning. Substituting the names of similar vehicle makes, like Toyota, didn’t trigger a warning.

Is there a slur or other offensive meaning associated with that name? I’m a member of a queer 4x4 club and want to make sure I’m not saying something offensive!

Yesterday I went out with my bff friend and she helped me choose a bra, gonna go out with her tomorrow to buy it cause we couldn't yesterday.

It looked so good on me, I loved it and it caused euphoria 😭 (tears of joy)

I’m feeling so overwhelmed, I’m still at the beginning of HRT and everything feels too much. I feel so hurt by everyone’s comments and opinions, I feel like everything is out of control, I feel like I don’t know what’s going on and I feel crazy. All these emotions feel very intense. :(

what keeps you going every day? what do you personally find in life that makes it so beautiful?

just wondering what my sisters think about the world

Being trans and in chronic pain is literally the worst combination I could have ever gotten thrust upon me. For a bit of context, I work at the library, where my main patronage is old people who have nothing better to do with their lives, and I go to a nearby cafe quite often for lunch, where old people sit around to drink coffee and complain about the political climate from about four years ago.

In comes me. A girl who passes fairly well when wearing makeup and not speaking, but where there is still something clearly off about me from all angles. Add in the fact that I can no longer comfortably walk without a cane most days. I have become a specimen to be stared at with no subtly, and it happens quite often.

Despite the title, its not only from men. In fact, my breaking point today was not how old men will fully turn around in their seats to stare at me. No, it was when working behind the front desk of the library, a woman brought up her books. While I scanned them, she stared between my face and my lanyard nametag (which says my name and she/her pronouns). This is fairly common and wouldn't have been bad, but when it was done and I sat back down, she continued to stand there and stare at me. And then she leaned over the desk to stare harder, said nothing, before finally walking away.

It's just like. Mind your own fucking business! I'm aware I have multiple things wrong with me, it just so happen that before I can fully fix them, I have to look like a freak of nature in the interim! I don't want to be like this!

Frustrating.

<3 Eleanor

Hey y'all!!!

A few days ago I met a person at a party who introduced themselves as nb. We started talking about transitioning, since I'm an out and open trans girl. We talked about how they were already on e for a few months and stopped since they were afraid 'it got too big', talking about mainly boobs (I heard out later in the conversation).

They have a boyfriend and doubted to start HRT again, since they liked it, and also sometimes think they are a trans girl too, but they were too afraid of the opinion of others and mostly their boyfriend (since they're boyfriend 'hates boobs'). They were also afraid that they were not pretty enough and will not be pretty in the future on e, so they rather be a not so pretty non binary person.

I got a little sad, and also somewhat feel like they wanted me to help them, but I am not mentally in the position to really support someone like that.

It made me sad, because I heard them and just thought: you're afraid, but you want to be an e.

AND ALSO BREAK UP THE BOYFRIEND, PLEASEEEEEE

Wish that someone's sister, or a friend who was a girl, would "tie you down" and "force" you to paint your nails or wear a dress or something?

I always wanted to grow my hair out, dye it, or get piercings, but my parents would always dissuade me from doing so. I kind of hoped that someone would do this to me as "torture" or something so it wasn't, like, "my fault" for wanting to wear makeup or try on girly stuff.

In pre-school, we had a reversed wedding roles kind of play day, and I still remember how I felt being a maid of honor and holding flowers for my best friend at the time. Probably stuck with me more than the other kids at the time 😅

So basically, I’ve alway felt less than others (not emotions but like actual sensations). My genitals just don’t feel sensitive, I can’t feel much in my nipples, even my hands feel a little muted sometimes. I’ve always worried that I’d be a let down in bed.

But then I heard two things after coming out as trans: 1) that hrt kills you sex drive 2) that hrt makes you waaay more sensitive, to the point that you could climax with body parts that aren’t your genitals.

If both are true I’m hoping so much that the second is true. I want to be married one day and I know that sexual troubles can harm a relationship so I’m hoping, begging that hrt will help me.

hi, i know this is like, one of the only times i've actually posted (i mostly just lurk), but i need to rant now
i'm 17, realized i was trans like a month-ish ago (not on HRT yet), and since my family seemed to be relatively accepting, i made the mistake of being quick to come out to my parents, they're the only people irl that i'm actually out to
i thought they'd listen, maybe understand, try to be supportive
but it's like they just don't care? like, they're just ignoring it
I tried bringing it up again with my mom recently, she told me that it's just a phase and she thinks i'll get over it
now, when we were talking about other stuff that isn't specifically related to being trans, she made a comment that i keep "trying to be in some community", and acting like what i feel isn't real
i know that she was referring to when i came out as trans
god i just hate this, i hate the fact that she doesn't understand, i hate how she keeps invalidating me, she's never even had the decency to ask what my preferred name is, or how i'd like to be addressed, the most she's ever done was mention once that i'm allowed to try her clothes when she and dad aren't home (which is rare, it's almost always at least one of them home at the same time as me, and when they aren't then it usually isn't for long enough for me to try out clothes, put them back, and switch to my regular outfit)
i can't even talk to her about this because it's like she's obsessed with me being "normal", like any time i show that i might not just be a regular straight, cisgender, neurotypical teenager, she thinks it's a phase, an act, or something
she thinks she knows ANYTHING about me, but she doesn't, she knows the face i put on around her, how i act when she's there, she doesn't know who I am, she doesn't know how I feel, and god damn it i HATE how she acts like she knows me better than i know myself, it's the most infuriating thing ever and it's worse how it's like she doesn't even know what she's doing????
i asked her before i came out if she'd support me if i was trans, she said she would, well where in the actual FUCK is that support now?! oh, right, it doesn't exist, because she's clearly only fine with that idea in theory and not in reality
i'm so fucking tired

thanks for listening, sorry for making this other people's problem

Hey y'all!!!

A few days ago I met a person at a party who introduced themselves as nb. We started talking about transitioning, since I'm an out and open trans girl. We talked about how they were already on e for a few months and stopped since they were afraid 'it got too big', talking about mainly boobs (I heard out later in the conversation).

They have a boyfriend and doubted to start HRT again, since they liked it, and also sometimes think they are a trans girl too, but they were too afraid of the opinion of others and mostly their boyfriend (since they're boyfriend 'hates boobs'). They were also afraid that they were not pretty enough and will not be pretty in the future on e, so they rather be a not so pretty non binary person.

I got a little sad, and also somewhat feel like they wanted me to help them, but I am not mentally in the position to really support someone like that.

It made me sad, because I heard them and just thought: you're afraid, but you want to be an e.

AND ALSO BREAK UP THE BOYFRIEND, PLEASEEEEEE

I'm 18, I've been on estrogen for a few months now, unfortunately my family is super transphobic, I've tried to ease them into the concept but it doesn't matter. I'm getting to the point where I can almost pass consistently if I wear makeup and dress feminine, when they find out I'll prolly get kicked out and be finishing senior year in my car lmao. Wish I could have just been born a real girl