r/TikTokCringe • u/ConradFisher69 • 16h ago

Humor/Cringe Guy gets ROASTED on a dating show

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u/Feeling_Ad_1034 16h ago edited 15h ago

Honestly he's doing much better than most men. He's just not her type. The genuine laugh at her backhanded insults is perfect. He seems secure in himself to me.

EDIT: IF YOU DISAGREE, Why not provide a BETTER EXAMPLE of a secure man's response than his?

305

u/Worried_Jellyfish918 14h ago

Being able to laugh when someone insults you is usually the sign of a person who is happy with how they are

30

u/EcstaticBoysenberry 11h ago

Yeahh. That would probably fuck me up a little inside for a minute but knowing myself id probably laugh in the moment with the person 😅

-1

u/Competitive-Outside8 10h ago

No. Laughing when someone makes a harmless joke about some insignificant foible is one thing. Even harsher jokes from people who have clearly established that they genuinely care about you can be laughed off. A stranger saying stuff that is clearly meant to hurt is not something to be laughed off. That's a time to calmly and confidently stand up for yourself.

1

u/MonStarBigFoot 9h ago

But they are a stranger who cares what they think?

1

u/Competitive-Outside8 9h ago

The question was how a truly confident person reacts to actual insults. Nervous laughter isn't the answer. Laughing dismissively and then excusing yourself could work. Calmly sitting out down as I suggested can work. I'm sure there are other options that just aren't coming to mind right now. But the point is that what we saw here was not a confident person shrugging off the insults.

1

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 9h ago

I know this is a backhanded insult to the girl in the video, but I have a strong feeling she doesn’t know she’s calmly roasting the guy.

Had this gone on for any longer than a minute or two, yeah press the button and say it was really nice meeting you with a smile. But he did great.

3

u/Competitive-Outside8 8h ago

You didn't need to be patient with someone who's being a condescending asshole. You also don't flip out on them. But calmly standing up for yourself is what you do if you're actually confident. The Reddit cowards seem to disagree, but that doesn't surprise me. We are absolutely not seeing a display of strength and confidence in this video.

1

u/hikeskiclimbrepeat 28m ago

Relax dude, she ribbed him with the personality comment. Wouldn’t go so far as saying she’s being condescending. They’re just having fun and the guy responded super well. If he responded calling her out it wouldn’t display confidence, he’d just look thin skinned.

1

u/Competitive-Outside8 11m ago

No. She was insulting him. And you can respond to that kind of thing without being thin skinned. That means not blowing up or making a huge deal of it, but calmly calling them out and making it clear that you're not just going to sit there and laugh at their insults like a pathetic tool. And that's what he'd do if he were actually confident, rather than just laughing nervously.

1

u/Vypaah 3h ago

How would you calmly and confidently stand up for yourself when someone insulted you with "having a great personality"?

2

u/Competitive-Outside8 2h ago

Do you honestly not see that that was a backhanded compliment?

243

u/Frosty-Bat-8476 15h ago

For all you know he just laughs when he’s nervous or upset lmao lots of people have weird responses to stress or anxiety.

116

u/R34CT10N 15h ago

We don’t know, but we can make educated guesses. It looks like he picks up on her accidental “roast” and laughs genuinely at it, and then laughs again when she presses the button. It doesn’t look like true nervous laughter to me.

Sure, it could sting a little bit on the inside too, but it’s also pretty damn funny, and making humor out of awkward/unintentional situations is an infectious form of “confidence” or whatever you want to call it. Dude seems solid

32

u/meeps1142 13h ago

100%. That type of confidence will get you far. Not everyone will be into you, and being secure in spite of that is such a green flag.

7

u/Hilarity2War 13h ago

If you can laugh at people making fun of you, you'll get ahead at life... is this the lesson?

13

u/meeps1142 13h ago

I mean, there's nuance to it. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself, but there's wisdom in knowing when to not give AF about someone else's opinion of you. Choose your battles

1

u/ethanlan 4h ago

I mean yeah as a general rule. Unless its completely inappropriate.

One of the things I really learned to appreciate growing up in a huge city, there are so many battles out there and you wont survive if you fight all of them

1

u/ethanlan 4h ago

Lol one of my best friends nows first thing she said to me was I hate you and my response was I dont care.

-6

u/jotsea2 15h ago

'educated' based on what?

4

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 15h ago

If you don't think his laughs are great responses that indicate he's secure, PLEASE SHARE what you think a good response that indicates he's secure would look like!

-10

u/jotsea2 15h ago

As others have said, he might be nervously reacting or upset and not know how to react otherwise. Men use humor to hide pain constantly.

Pretending like we know anything about this individual based on a 30 second clip on the internet is mind boggling.

3

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 14h ago

Nice job. Way to completely ignore my suggestion and misinterpret what I was saying.

His response makes him come off as secure in himself. Could he actually be insecure? Sure. Does his response make him come off that way? No.

Please help me understand what I'm wrong about, and give me what a better response from him could have been.

-3

u/jotsea2 13h ago

that its not an 'educated' guess

It's a 'guess'.

2

u/One_Warthog256 12h ago

Why won't you answer his question?

0

u/jotsea2 12h ago

I literally did.

-7

u/crazytalkingsandwich 15h ago

“Trust me bro”

42

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 15h ago

A laugh is still among "healthy" responses, but go ahead and share with me what a better response would have been?

21

u/sevenpioverthree 14h ago

People who are disagreeing with you are ignoring the fact that he made a joke about his own virginity in the beginning, so yeah he’s secure and confident enough to joke about himself and therefore laugh at himself

1

u/throwawaycuzfemdom 57m ago

Eh. Not saying he is not secure in himself; but people joke about their insecurities all the time, usually to get ahead. Like people who are insecure about their weight making fat jokes and laughing at other people's jokes even if it hurts.

So imo laughing at oneself is not necessarily indicate being secure, while secure people can laugh about themself too.

10

u/kitsunekratom 14h ago

Agreed, laughing is good here. To make it even better, he could have said "Yeah, I do have a great personality!" enthusiastically

0

u/Hilarity2War 13h ago

Laughing, prematurely, is healthy and is usually a good signal of feeling good (babies laugh when they're happy/comfortable; babies cry when they're sad/uncomfortable). It just so happens that people develop weird quirks and mix up the signals/responses, which is one some people will laugh to relieve themselves from discomfort to make themselves more comfortable. The response becomes the cause and not the consequence anymore.

-5

u/SorbetFucker 13h ago

Laughing is actually a very typical response when people are nervous or upset. Ask anyone who gives legal counsel or therapy, or honestly just look it up. Idrk that that's why he was laughing but it is a very common stress response.

7

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 13h ago

"Yeah I can't think of a better reaction than his, but I'm sure his was no good because it could have been a cope"

Got it.

-8

u/SorbetFucker 13h ago

?? Did you read the latter end of my comment?

1

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 13h ago

You're not contributing anything by pointing out that it could have been a cope. I acknowledge that.

I'm saying you're engaging against my claim that he came off as a secure man, and if you're going to go down the road of "well you don't know that", I'd like to see an example of what a secure man's response would have been.

And you've ignored my request for that 3 times now, so IDK how you'd come at me with "Did you read..."

But remind me again that he could be dying on the inside.

-1

u/SorbetFucker 13h ago

You said it's among healthy responses, I just honestly thought you or others reading might like to know that it commonly isn't. Outright stated that I do not know why he was laughing. Honestly a little odd that you're this butthurt, relax man.

2

u/Glogbag1 10h ago

When you say 'it commonly isn't', how are you defining that? Like the only way the laughing itself could be an unhealthy response to me is if it's in response to something terrible, like hurting something or someone else. In this situation I think the least healthy laughing it could be is if it's to conceal insecurity, but that's just the least healthy and not necessarily unhealthy.

Like the only arguments I've seen in this vein are either people saying 'he could still be insecure', which is true but is speculation and therefore (imo) pointless, or 'he is insecure but trying to hide it' which just reads like projection. I haven't read an argument from anyone how him laughing here in this specific situation could be unhealthy.

0

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 13h ago

I just honestly thought you or others reading might like to know that it commonly isn't.

I think this is the part that's wild to me, and it's not just you.. there's tons of comments here echoing your comment.

It's like: to me, this is an example of a confident dude dealing with a difficult situation, framed as him getting roasted. And he is getting roasted, but great on him for taking it so well, laughing it off, and just generally being chill. Not many men could do that, and I find it impressive.

IDK what the standard upvotes/visibility/comments ratio is, and my parent comment is getting quite a lot of visibility, but it's insane to me how many people feel the need to - in spite of all of that - jump in and remind me that "Akshewally, laughing could be a cope. he could be triggered"

And the tell is that literally no one can offer an example of what a response would look like if he wasn't actually triggered/butthurt.

3

u/SorbetFucker 13h ago

Dude. Chill. I was mentioning it because it's a common stress response and you said it's among healthy responses, im just saying it often isn't. Seen people get screamed at for laughing all the time. This guy seems perfectly secure, he seems like a totally chill dude, and even if he is nervous or really uncomfortable, he can still also be secure in himself. It's a weird format, you're being filmed on awkward first date chatter, personally I would have handled this far worse than he did. These mountainous replies are not necessary, I clearly agree with you on most of this. I was genuinely trying to be informative, I've seen people get screamed at for laughing because others weren't aware it's a common stress response, I thought it would be useful information to share, thats all. This is a ridiculous amount of back and forth for something so trivial. Go eat something, or get a drink, for real. There probably are people calling him insecure using the stress response reasoning. I am not one of them, and they are not worth your time.

-2

u/Frosty-Bat-8476 13h ago

You keep responding to the comments that don’t agree with you lol people are entitled to their own opinions and you clearly are the one who’s upset about it 🤷🏼‍♂️😭 like your responses just keep getting longer. Chill tf out bro, I’m sorry people disagree with you, but it’s not that serious.

My reply has gotten the second highest amount of upvotes in this thread, but do you see me replying to everyone that thinks I’m wrong? No. 💀 because I actually don’t give a fuck.

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u/SorbetFucker 13h ago

Laughing could be a secure mans response. Smiling could too. Having an actual conversation about why she's being mean could be too. I never said this wasn't a secure mans response, that's why I wasn't bothering to provide examples.

14

u/experiment53 10h ago

A secure man would shit his pants to establish dominance

4

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 10h ago

TIL I'm a secure man!

39

u/MackAttack0137 13h ago

It's crazy how insecurity is seen like a perfectly normal human emotion for women but a character flaw for men. Like maybe men wouldn't have such fragile egos if they weren't expected to be secure in themselves 24/7

12

u/StrangelyBrown 15h ago

He seems nice but that answer was slight Gabe energy.

"I'll tell you her last name tomorrow because she's going to be screaming it tonight!"

11

u/Rael_Sianne 11h ago

"Why would she be screaming her own name?"

2

u/ScepticalReciptical 9h ago

You don't do that?

3

u/kitsunekratom 14h ago

Who TF is Gabe?

6

u/DrScarecrow 13h ago

A character from The Office

1

u/cupholdery 13h ago

You wanna dance on the blacktop, homie?!

26

u/djpiperson 15h ago

This is not the confidence you think it is. Source: I laugh too when uncomfortable, just like he does. 

35

u/DownWithTheSickness8 15h ago

Of the reactions you could have, an awkward laugh that keeps the convo from getting too tense is a good one.

Laughing while uncomfortable is social behaviour, and exhudes some level of confidence even if you arent really comfortable at the time.

All I'm saying is, probably the guy is not feeling gery good about the underhanded insult, but keeping a straight face regardless is impressive.

12

u/Hour-Perception-5417 15h ago

Maybe in a date, but people always think i’m not taking things seriously. Worse, some of them think I am making fun of them.

2

u/djpiperson 15h ago

Yeah that the Joker in that movie. QUITE LITERALLY!! I had this conversation when my gf-now-wife started dating. She'd think I was laughing at her or at the arguments we had. 

4

u/Hour-Perception-5417 15h ago

The first time I got pulled over, the cop kept asking if I was on drugs. I explained its just a nervous reaction. Then of course he hits me with the “why are you so nervous?”. Which ofc made it worse

1

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

It's okay for conversations to be tense sometimes, especially when one person insults another.

6

u/DownWithTheSickness8 14h ago

absolutely, if you choose to adress it

but better it be on your terms right

1

u/meeps1142 13h ago

For sure, but it's also okay to just not give a fuck about someone else's opinion of you. There's a balance; sometimes it's worth it to stand up for yourself, and other times it's best to just shake your head and move on with your day.

1

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 13h ago

For sure. I don't think that's what happened here tho. I think he gave a nervous laugh because she did actually insult him and he didn't want to make things awkward by acknowledging it.

5

u/Excuse_Odd 13h ago

This woman is being insanely rude and disrespectful, there isn't really a better way to respond without getting into a fight about who's less attractive.

0

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 12h ago

Thank you. The amount of people who can't wrap their heads around this in the comments is insane.

5

u/Xilent248 15h ago

This is the most literal projecting I've ever seen on reddit! 

8

u/Friendly-Rice7351 10h ago

Its so funny how you watch a video of a woman being shitty and still feel the need to take a shot at men. Just classic tbh.

1

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 9h ago

Yeah, I got a little over-involved in my comments here because of that. Unreal.

12

u/CrazyElk123 15h ago

Him laughing doesnt mean he didnt find it insulting or negative. What a delusional comment.

40

u/thissexypoptart 15h ago

No part of their comment claimed he didn’t find it insulting or negative. The comment was praising his seemingly nonchalant (doesn’t mean on the inside) demeanor in taking the insults.

Calling people delusional when you’ve read something into their comment they never said is unnecessary.

Being secure doesn’t mean you don’t perceive insults or negativity. It means when you clock an insult you don’t let it get to you. At least in the moment, no telling what happens after he goes home, he seems secure and well adjusted.

-19

u/CrazyElk123 15h ago

They commented "genuine laugh". How do we know its genuine? If he took offense to the comment, i dont see how its genuine in that case?

And its not mens job to not be offended by backhanded comments. Weird thing to comment.

8

u/thissexypoptart 15h ago edited 15h ago

How does “genuine laugh” in your mind equate to “the dude doesn’t find the insults insulting or negative”?

Genuinely laughing, as opposed to a noticeably forced laugh, is a sign he’s at least outwardly taking it in stride. You can absolutely take offense to something and then genuinely laughing about it, these are not mutually exclusive things.

No one said anything remotely related to it being “men’s job” to not get offended by backhand compliments. You’re just reading things no one said all over the place, huh?

A well adjusted person, man or woman, can take insults to their face in stride and not have a mental breakdown about them, understanding it takes a petty person to be that insulting. You don’t have to laugh about it, you can just tell her she’s being unacceptable, but laughing about it is a sign of being well adjusted.

-8

u/CrazyElk123 15h ago

How do we know its not forced though? Its not hard to fake a "genuine laugh" if youve done it often before.

5

u/R34CT10N 15h ago

How can we really know anything for sure? Even if we ask him later, how do we know he’s not lying about his reaction?

Based on all the available information, social cues, etc, it looks genuine to me, and I’m okay with that being the best I can say. If you think it’s not genuine, then we need to hear some reasons why (not that it could be fake, but why it looks fake in the video)

1

u/vansinghworld 15h ago

Usually non-confrontational people laugh off insults as a defense mechanism. Doesn’t mean they don’t feel hurt or insecure by the comment made.

If this was someone who’s confrontational they wouldn’t be laughing, just how I see it.

0

u/CrazyElk123 15h ago

Its okay to just say you dont know, and i dont know. Its that simple. Im just saying that we have no idea if he took it with stride or not. Me saying this does not mean i think the opposite of the comment.

4

u/thissexypoptart 15h ago

Well my friend we can’t read his mind, all we have to go on is the video But again, we’re talking about outward appearances, and faking a laugh that sounds genuine is certainly a better adjusted response to insults to your face than alternatives like breaking down crying, getting insulting yourself, or completely shutting down in silence.

A person who can act convincingly nonchalant in the face of personal insults is outwardly at least more well adjusted than someone who has an emotional fit about them.

2

u/CrazyElk123 15h ago

Yeah sure, i just find it weird when commenters make assumptions based on a short clip. But i guess thats just reddit.

4

u/thissexypoptart 15h ago

What assumptions? The original comment you replied to said his laughter in response is perfect and he seems secure in himself. Really the only assumption being made there was that he’s not her type, since we obviously can’t read her mind on that.

Really odd to be calling people delusional and reading some weird point about “men’s jobs to not get offended” into what they said though. Is everything okay?

2

u/CrazyElk123 15h ago

The laugh being genuine, as ive already commented. We have no idea if he found it offensive or not, and if the laugh was forced or not. Thats it.

3

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 15h ago

But the speed dating thing IS a short clip, and in social dynamics (which are also often short clips, especially when meeting someone) I'm hard pressed to find a better response to the back-handed insult than his laugh.

Part of why your argument isn't working is because you're not providing a better example of a good response.

Do you have a better response in mind?

1

u/BarelyFunctionalGM 14h ago

Okay, tbf, I'm not sure I'm comfortable saying breaking down crying is a poorly adjusted response to insults to your face.

Not sure if that's what you meant, and I'd agree defusing the situation is better, but I've definitely called people assholes before for arguing that, and have been called an asshole when I found myself on the other hand of telling someone to tough it out.

4

u/Tasty_Particular4997 14h ago

you can still genuinely laugh at something offensive.

that's like what a lot of comedy is based on.

1

u/Short-Sound-4190 15h ago

Honestly I also read genuine - as in BOTH of them are just goofing during this exchange from the beginning: this guy answered the virginity question with his current age and said "I'll tell you tomorrow", making a joke that they were going to have sex that night, then they both seem to be pretty good naturedly laughing at it and when he reveals it was actually 18 and she uses it as an in to start ribbing him back with the whole 'oh she's SO pretty' and then the 'she must have really liked your personality' -

I also suspect just from context clues is that what we didn't see is that the photo was of him/him and the girl around age 18 - he has a baby face that could probably pass at a glance as 15 even at 25 yrs old, so he was probablys still in a not-uncommon awkward phase or not done growing yet at 18.

3

u/odysseyofocelots 11h ago

the comments on this innocuous video are so insanely dramatic and emotional, wtf is going on lmao?

2

u/SkangoBank 14h ago

That isn't what they said at all.

Laughing shit off is a much better reaction than some hyper-insecure and overly defensive response, as you might be able to relate to.

4

u/East_Living7198 15h ago

They never claimed that the laughing doesn't mean he didn't find it insulting or negative. The secure part is being able to receive something insulting or negative and still be cool.

8

u/federalmanagement_21 15h ago

The guy literally made a joke about not having sex seconds before that he’s obviously secure and self effacing.

2

u/SkangoBank 14h ago

That isn't what they said at all.

Laughing shit off is a much better reaction than some hyper-insecure and overly defensive response, as you might be able to relate to.

3

u/Haxorz7125 14h ago

Some people need to learn to laugh at themselves a bit.

When I hung out with a girl once she told me “you have really nice skin for someone who dresses like that”, I had just come off work and was wearing a hoodie and pajama shorts, she was tagging along to the dog park.

She immediately felt bad realizing how it might come across but I thought it was the funniest shit ever.

1

u/whatisdedmaynvrdie 14h ago

Yeah that guy fucks

3

u/Slumunistmanifisto 13h ago

She'd refer him to friends.

2

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 13h ago

So his response should have been what? demanding a list of referrals? Help me understand.

6

u/Slumunistmanifisto 13h ago

No im saying hes normal and has humor, she probably has single friends, and probably knows a similar humored girl. 

Chicks love a chance to match make bro!

6

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 13h ago

Ah sorry I'm treating every response as disagreeing with me lol. Gotta calm down.

4

u/Slumunistmanifisto 13h ago

No worries!

Siri, play love is a battlefield

3

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 12h ago

Thanks I needed this lol. Enough reddit for today.

3

u/RudeAndInsensitive 12h ago

Ya. I read as playful teasing. I don't think she finds him to be her type but she seems to enjoy his presence. In his position I would assume she is good for meeting her friends.

1

u/Traditional_Top9730 12h ago

He’s being genuine and she’s being a little snotty. Seems like a nice guy and whoever ends up with him will be a happy lady.

1

u/birbirdie 9h ago

Other people rush to push the button when the other one goes for it. Like they cant handle rejection, in real life this translates people suddenly thinking the other person isnt hot the moment they get rejected.

1

u/Euphoric-Poe 3h ago

lol his confidence is actually really attractive

1

u/Razor1834 2h ago

There is no response to this that seems secure. The only possible ones is if everyone else recognized him as a celebrity of some kind.

0

u/Ok-Constant5290 14h ago

Honestly?....Just walk out. Why give someone who is blatantly putting you down for no reason any more of your time? The lad probably has confidence issues and she's just made it worse. I wonder what people would say if tables were turned?

5

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 14h ago

I agree that at some point in IRL situations like this, "It was nice meeting you" followed by walking out would have been warranted, but due to the pre-arranged short nature of the interaction, walking out would have came off as weaker than simply laughing and playing along until the fast-approaching end of the interaction.

8

u/MJ_Live92 13h ago

Him laughing off that backhanded compliment like that suggests he does not have confidence issues. There’s no reason to suggest he’s insecure from
this. Walking off there would’ve been extremely lame. He handled the whole interaction very well, other than his first answer.

0

u/Embarrassed-Weird173 3h ago

BETTER EXAMPLE of a secure man's response than his?

ANDREW TAINT WOULD BE LIKE ALL SIGMER AND BE LIKE 67 YO RIZZ AHH. 

Type "shit".

-16

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

A secure man wouldn't laugh, he'd ask for an apology.

8

u/kitsunekratom 14h ago

He would absolutely not ask for an apology. That's what a loser would do

-10

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

No. A loser allows themselves to be insulted.

9

u/kitsunekratom 14h ago

No, a weak insecure man takes offense to insult they know isn't true.

-4

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

You can recognise that something is offensive without taking the offence to heart, and ask for an apology because it shows disrespect to yourself even if you're not affected by it.

3

u/kitsunekratom 14h ago

But she was clearly not trying to insult or be aggressive. If you were to ask for an apology, you'd look like an insecure loser, because you would be. Or, you could laugh, agree that you do have a good personality (taking her insult into a compliment, while letting her save face), and come out looking like a charismatic Chad. Choice is yours homie

2

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

Doesn't matter that she didn't mean it either.

I mean, different people are going to have different interpretations of that interaction. It didn't read as secure to me, it read as an uncomfortable laugh because what she said did mean something but he didn't want to address it in the moment. Which reads as insecure to me.

1

u/kitsunekratom 14h ago

She says "I bet you have a really nice personality."

Without condescension or aggressiveness. Can you interpret it negatively? Sure.

However, in this situation, assume good intent, agree that you do, and you turn it into a positive interaction. And then she will see, yeah, he does have a nice personality and increase the attraction.

If he were to stop, assume negative intent, and ask for an apology, the interaction will just take a turn for the negative and sour the mood. And it doesn't even guarantee an apology!

All for what? Perceived self respect? Do you think this is Peaky Blinders? What red pill trash are you watching?

Having self respect means anothers insult cannot bring you down because you don't need their respect or opinion to define you. Now, if the insulting is constant or aggressive, then the reaction should change but we're no where close to that

0

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago edited 13h ago

The implication was clear, to not make that connection would just show social incompetence.

The mood was already soured by the insult, by addressing it she is offered the opportunity to sweeten the mood.

I'm not saying to be aggressive with asking for an apology. You can simply say "are you implying I am ugly?" offering the chance for her to apologise and correct what she said, for example.

Edit: also, this bugs me. Self respect is not about never taking anything as an insult ever. You are allowed to have insecurities. It's how you respond to those insecurities that matters. Unapologetically doing the things you need to do to respect yourself is self respect. If that means pointing out when an insult has been made against you then you do that!

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u/Hour-Perception-5417 14h ago

Only a loser would take every insult as a personal offense. An insult from some random person on a speed dating show doesn’t need to be addressed. A (genuine) insult from a friend or close acquaintance might.

1

u/kitsunekratom 13h ago

Looks like he yeeted himself from the Internet, he was gaining too much self respect

-3

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

You don't have to take offence to recognise that an offence has been made. I can call you an idiot, you can recognise that I have called you an idiot, and you can ask me to apologise. All without believing that you are an idiot. And I would apologise for that.

2

u/Feeling_Ad_1034 12h ago

Right, you could ask for an apology regardless of your internal emotional state... but emotional intelligence should kick in and inform you that asking for an apology in that specific situation is a counter-productive move because it makes you seem offended, regardless of whether you actually are or not.

Which is why me pointing out that him appearing to genuinely laugh it off is such a strong move (again, regardless of if he was offended or not, because as many have gone out of their way to point out - we don't know)

1

u/Hour-Perception-5417 14h ago edited 13h ago

Ah, I see what you’re saying. I still don’t think that would necessarily apply if you arent going to see or associate with the person again.

I agree it’s good to nip people walking all over you in the bud if they are in your community or social circle. If it is measurably affecting your reputation (like slander), anyway.

1

u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

Really? I honestly have it the other way around. I'm much more tolerant of my friends talking shit to me because I know them and I know they love me. I'm very intolerant of people I don't know saying something like that because well... the opposite! They don't know me!

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u/Hour-Perception-5417 14h ago edited 14h ago

Friends “talking shit” isn’t actually insulting though. That’s what I said in my first response to you.

If some random dude at the function is talking shit to me, who cares? He doesn’t know me.

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u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

Ok, I get that. I guess I've never had a friend that genuinely insulted me! It's always just ribbing.

Sure I agree with that, but that's not the situation here, right?

This is a dating thing where someone has indirectly insulted you to your face on video. Which you potentially might see again in the future (although given that they insulted you, probably not).

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u/Feeling_Ad_1034 14h ago

This thread right here is honestly a big indicator of what's wrong with dating and relationship dynamics these days. This is insane.

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u/chikunshak 14h ago

Does a solicited apology even mean anything? That's how you interact with your children so that you can teach them self awareness.

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u/Conscious_Waltz_5314 14h ago

Yes. You can make someone aware that what they said hurt you and they realise their mistake, change their behaviour, and make amends.

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u/ChirpToast 14h ago

Speaking of an insecure man ^

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u/Feeling_Ad_1034 14h ago

HARD disagree, that sounds like an insecure man.