Honestly he's doing much better than most men. He's just not her type. The genuine laugh at her backhanded insults is perfect. He seems secure in himself to me.
EDIT: IF YOU DISAGREE, Why not provide a BETTER EXAMPLE of a secure man's response than his?
People who are disagreeing with you are ignoring the fact that he made a joke about his own virginity in the beginning, so yeah he’s secure and confident enough to joke about himself and therefore laugh at himself
Eh. Not saying he is not secure in himself; but people joke about their insecurities all the time, usually to get ahead. Like people who are insecure about their weight making fat jokes and laughing at other people's jokes even if it hurts.
So imo laughing at oneself is not necessarily indicate being secure, while secure people can laugh about themself too.
Laughing, prematurely, is healthy and is usually a good signal of feeling good (babies laugh when they're happy/comfortable; babies cry when they're sad/uncomfortable). It just so happens that people develop weird quirks and mix up the signals/responses, which is one some people will laugh to relieve themselves from discomfort to make themselves more comfortable. The response becomes the cause and not the consequence anymore.
Laughing is actually a very typical response when people are nervous or upset. Ask anyone who gives legal counsel or therapy, or honestly just look it up. Idrk that that's why he was laughing but it is a very common stress response.
You're not contributing anything by pointing out that it could have been a cope. I acknowledge that.
I'm saying you're engaging against my claim that he came off as a secure man, and if you're going to go down the road of "well you don't know that", I'd like to see an example of what a secure man's response would have been.
And you've ignored my request for that 3 times now, so IDK how you'd come at me with "Did you read..."
But remind me again that he could be dying on the inside.
You said it's among healthy responses, I just honestly thought you or others reading might like to know that it commonly isn't. Outright stated that I do not know why he was laughing. Honestly a little odd that you're this butthurt, relax man.
When you say 'it commonly isn't', how are you defining that? Like the only way the laughing itself could be an unhealthy response to me is if it's in response to something terrible, like hurting something or someone else. In this situation I think the least healthy laughing it could be is if it's to conceal insecurity, but that's just the least healthy and not necessarily unhealthy.
Like the only arguments I've seen in this vein are either people saying 'he could still be insecure', which is true but is speculation and therefore (imo) pointless, or 'he is insecure but trying to hide it' which just reads like projection. I haven't read an argument from anyone how him laughing here in this specific situation could be unhealthy.
I just honestly thought you or others reading might like to know that it commonly isn't.
I think this is the part that's wild to me, and it's not just you.. there's tons of comments here echoing your comment.
It's like: to me, this is an example of a confident dude dealing with a difficult situation, framed as him getting roasted. And he is getting roasted, but great on him for taking it so well, laughing it off, and just generally being chill. Not many men could do that, and I find it impressive.
IDK what the standard upvotes/visibility/comments ratio is, and my parent comment is getting quite a lot of visibility, but it's insane to me how many people feel the need to - in spite of all of that - jump in and remind me that "Akshewally, laughing could be a cope. he could be triggered"
And the tell is that literally no one can offer an example of what a response would look like if he wasn't actually triggered/butthurt.
Dude. Chill. I was mentioning it because it's a common stress response and you said it's among healthy responses, im just saying it often isn't. Seen people get screamed at for laughing all the time. This guy seems perfectly secure, he seems like a totally chill dude, and even if he is nervous or really uncomfortable, he can still also be secure in himself. It's a weird format, you're being filmed on awkward first date chatter, personally I would have handled this far worse than he did. These mountainous replies are not necessary, I clearly agree with you on most of this. I was genuinely trying to be informative, I've seen people get screamed at for laughing because others weren't aware it's a common stress response, I thought it would be useful information to share, thats all. This is a ridiculous amount of back and forth for something so trivial. Go eat something, or get a drink, for real. There probably are people calling him insecure using the stress response reasoning. I am not one of them, and they are not worth your time.
You keep responding to the comments that don’t agree with you lol people are entitled to their own opinions and you clearly are the one who’s upset about it 🤷🏼♂️😭 like your responses just keep getting longer. Chill tf out bro, I’m sorry people disagree with you, but it’s not that serious.
My reply has gotten the second highest amount of upvotes in this thread, but do you see me replying to everyone that thinks I’m wrong? No. 💀 because I actually don’t give a fuck.
Yeah, it did stand out to me as strange that so many people are going out of their way to potentially discredit his excellent (clearly better than mine, heh) handling of the situation.
It's like: Imagine someone performs an emergency landing in an airplane, saves everyone aboard, and afterward somebody says:
"Well, just because he looked calm doesn't mean he wasn't internaly terrified."
Laughing could be a secure mans response. Smiling could too. Having an actual conversation about why she's being mean could be too. I never said this wasn't a secure mans response, that's why I wasn't bothering to provide examples.
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u/Feeling_Ad_1034 16h ago edited 15h ago
Honestly he's doing much better than most men. He's just not her type. The genuine laugh at her backhanded insults is perfect. He seems secure in himself to me.
EDIT: IF YOU DISAGREE, Why not provide a BETTER EXAMPLE of a secure man's response than his?