We had our last full swap experience March of 2025. We only had a few experiences but the last one put an end to it.
I 60m and wife 55 got into swinging after wife had brought it up to the conversation numerous times. We’ve been married 8 years but the first 5 we had a great sex life. The last three had slowed a lot because she said menopause had affected her. Oral sex from her had pretty much stopped and we went to once a week after some time before we started swinging. Ok sex but not like it use to be.
The first couple we actually had full swap with was ok but not mind blowing. Pretty much like our sex life was, average.
Well we met the second couple a few months later. Rented a cabin for the weekend and this is when my mind games started. After a few hours talking to them in person, we texted them quite a bit before the meet though. We all were in the same bed and paired off. Me and the other woman and my wife and the other guy. We all pretty much did the same way. We give the ladies oral. Next thing I know my wife was all up in the headboard trying to get away like she use to do with me. She said it gets very sensitive after sometime. Then we started intercourse and she was making noises I hadn’t heard since the first 5 years of our marriage. Then when me and lady finished we watched them for 5 minutes or so and he finished. We had been going at it over an hour with sex and foreplay. My wife asked him why did he quit, she wanted more like she use to with me.
We all had a great time but after a few days I got to thinking what happened to the menopause problem that night. They asked to meet again a few weeks later and I told them no. Wife wanted to meet again. No argument though, she just wanted to know why Im calling it quits.
Well the sex was great for few weeks after the swap but it gradually got back the way it was and even more bland from her. No oral from her for a year now. No wild sex, just non enthusiastic sex from her.
Well Ive seen it wasn’t the menopause that caused this, so it must be me. Ive really been considering asking for a divorce but I do love her. Since then I just don’t think shes into me. Its not my looks because Im in real good shape for my age, so not sure what it is.

We went to our first club and I could not stay hard. I’m sure there were other variables like being new etc.. but I do believe porn has sort of ruined me a little. I have to depend on rings for a full erection. And I’m not always horny. Could be that since I stopped working out, my test levels plummeted. Any other guys experience this?

So I guess I’m wondering how many people are aware of the differences in between HSV1 and HSV2.
A lot of people do not. And will see a positive test for HSV 1 and will freak out about that.
But what people don’t understand is over 64% of the population on earth has this. Most of us contracted it when we were children. So if you ever had a fever blister as a kid or a canker sore then you probably have HSV1 that’s asymptomatic.
More than likely, we picked it up from sharing a cup or a kiss from a relative, when we were kids.
This is not genital herpes. That is a whole different ballgame.
We have zero problem playing with someone with HSV1. Just as long as there’s no outbreaks and everybody is careful but like I said, this is a childhood disease that most of us caught back then.

HSV-1 affects about 64% of people globally under the age of 50 and 47.8% to 53.9% of adults aged 14 to 49 in the United States. [1, 2, 3]

A person generally contracts HSV-1 during childhood via non-sexual skin-to-skin or saliva contact (causing oral cold sores). [1, 2]

Key Details
Oral vs. Genital: While HSV-1 is traditionally known for causing cold sores (oral herpes), an increasing number of genital herpes cases are now caused by HSV-1 through oral-genital contact.
Symptoms: Many people infected with HSV-1 are asymptomatic or never realize they carry the virus. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Ok. My wife and I are new to all this. We've had a few experiences, some threesomes (but with straight guys) and lot of exhibitionism. My worry is I won't be able to please most women (or men for that matter since I'm Bisexual) because I am pretty well endowed.

Now. I know what some of you will say that it's not a problem or whatever....but it's caused problems most of our marriage. I'm somewhere like 8 to 9 inches and like 2.5 ish inches wide (6 inches circumference) last time I measured a while ago...I honestly don't know exactly because it's never been something to think about since I've been only with my wife for over 20 years.

Am I just being too anxious or do I have reason to be concerned? If I do, great...I'll know what I'm getting into. I just want practical advice from bi men or women please.

I mean in the real world most women say that as long as it’s at least average, penis size doesn’t matter…but in the swinger community, invariably 90% of posts are looking for a guy who is 8” plus. Assuming people are honest, do you realize how incredibly rare that is?

“A 6-inch erect length falls around the 90th percentile (roughly 1 in 10 men).
A length of 7 inches or more drops to roughly the 1st percentile (about 1 in 100 men).
An 8-inch length drops sharply beyond the 99th percentile, occurring in less than 0.01% of the male population (fewer than 8,000 men out of roughly 8 billion globally). [1, 2]”

Basically we are talking about 1 in 10,000. Are all of these guys lurking on this sub?

Besides aren’t bigger dicks usually softer?

Perhaps the swinger community specifically attracts size queens?

Are the guys they are getting actually 8+ or we just accepting that everyone is overestimating?

And if a guy actually is 8+…you know he is probably heavily booked iykwim.

I just don’t understand this one dimensional thinking. Like what about performance, girth, hardness, body type, other skills, etc…What am I missing? Just a curious observation from a chill sub-8 dude.

Hi, me and my GF (26y) are looking into visiting a club as first timers due to curiosity of the lifestyle, we are unsure if we want to participate in any play other than maybe with eachother. Is this acceptable or can it be seen as ”rude”?

I don’t even know how this happened.

I have a massive hog. Not “big,” not “impressive”; the 9th wonder of the world kind that makes women tap out in under ten minutes and then text me the next day saying they need round two to refill the void I left behind.

Fine, whatever. But now their husbands are treating me like a service.

Phone’s been ringing nonstop. These guys are calling from work, from the car, from their own beds, dead serious: “Hey man, you free Thursday? Wife’s been in a mood and regular dick just isn’t cracking her anymore.” One dude offered to pick me up and bring me Wingstop. Another asked if I do package deals for him and his buddy’s wife.

I’m not a business. I’m just a guy with an inconveniently large hog who wanted to swing occasionally. I wanted to plug a few leaky pipes, now I’m plumbing entire irrigation systems and the husbands are getting weirdly polite about being waitlisted. One of them asked for my Calendly link.

Anyone else dealing with this or am I the only one whose dick feels like a public utility? I’m starting to feel insecure.

Edit to update: Thanks everyone for sharing your experience and suggestions. I realize now I was being too ambitious and heavy on the wishful thinking. We will wait for the next GB in 3 months, where Im sure I will enjoy it much more! Thanks for looking out for me and the new girls!

original post*

I'm scheduled for a breast augmentation on Oct 19th, and the husband and I are hoping to still be able to participate in gangbang night at out favorite club on Nov 12th. Women with breast aug experience, will this be doable or is it too soon?

I will still be required to wear a compression bra during that period, which is less sexy but important. I was thinking if I stayed on my back for most of it, it would be less disturbing to the surgical area. Also I am only getting 250cc implants, so perhaps that will make an easier recovery?

Am I being too ambitious? Or is 3 weeks a reasonable wait time to jump back in the scene? I'd love to hear your experience with LS and breast aug recovery. Thanks!

Hi all, bi guy here. Much to my surprise I’ve experienced a lot homophobia when it comes to straight males in the LS. I meet couples and the guys lists himself as straight because they say listing him as bi limits their options. Hey, to each their own, that is not what my post is about.

A LS club my lady and I visit has special nights for couples only and the facility has a large open play room, it’s basically one large bed. We met another couple with a bi guy. Straight guys out there, what would your reaction be to seeing 2 guys in a 69? In any other situation I wouldn’t worry about what others think but in that environment I think it would kill my sexual desire to be looked at as disgusting or for people to want to distance themselves.

Need ideas on how to ask my wife if she’d be interested in being a hotwife. She’s incredibly hot and I’d love to share her but I’m worried she won’t be interested and I’m not ready for that judgement

Hola.

Durante ya varios años, durante el sexo o cuando nos masturbándose uno así otro, mi esposa me pedía contarle las cosas que hice con otras parejas, o algo que quisiera hacer con alguien que ella conociera (si vecina, alguna amiga, alguien del trabajo, etc.)

Hace unos días en una sesión de masturbamigos jaja, me dijo que quería que consiguiera a alguien para hacer un trío (ojo, específico que fuera mujer, no hombre, no pareja). Dice que la primera vez le gustaría que fuera sólo por llamada o videollamada más bien, después conocería en persona y esperar que algo pase, ella quiere verme coger con alguien, pero quiere que la primera vez sea por videollamada para ver si podrá o sólo es parte de su fantasía.

Ni ella ni yo queremos afectar la relación que la verdad es estupenda en cada sentido, así que lo tomaremos con calma.

Más que una invitación es una confesión, pero si saben de alguien avisenle jaja.

Se que el grupo en principalmente angloparlante, pero lo po go en Español por que ella no habla nada de inglés,y yo apenas me doy a entender, y pues también es importante la comunicación.

Saludos y espero no molestar, conozco poco de este mundo

Has any one used or seen a Sybian at a party? Being shared? Does it really give an intense orgasm?

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My partner (F34) and I (M36) have been in the lifestyle for a year and a half. These are some of the positive things I didn’t expect to experience in the swinger way of life:

Going out partying again: Getting dressed up, going to clubs, dancing, drinking to have fun… All of that seemed over once we had kids. Honestly, I didn’t even feel like going back to it; I preferred our life of dinners at home, board games, and video games. Now I realize it was something I actually enjoyed and missed.

The friendships: I didn’t expect to make friends, and least of all with a guy who’s fucked my wife. Now we hang out with couples and groups of couples from the lifestyle just to go out for dinner or hiking, and then meet up that same night to fuck properly. My social life has improved a lot.

The flirting and sensuality: I never stopped having sex with my wife, but we did stop flirting with each other. Getting that back with other women has been a wonderful experience. The jokes, the approach, the seduction… I love all of that almost as much as the sex itself. And thanks to that, I’ve relearned how to seduce my wife again.

Self-esteem: I’ve never felt so good about myself and my body. Same with my wife — she always had complexes about her flaws. Now she walks down the street with the confidence of a queen.

I didn’t have a small dick, I just let porn fool me

Hello peeps, we are a newbie couple and we recently had the conversation about swinging. The country we’re from (malaysia) is not swinger friendly and does not have much clubs. Would like your opinion, should we travel out and attend swinger events in thailand (sinfulhouse) or is it best to meet a local couple on sdc and see where it goes. Also any tips for newbies on approaching couples? We’d prefer an experienced couple to help us walkthrough the experience and make it pleasant and less awkward

Hello friends. Interested in your thoughts on the challenges we've (47M/49F) had. 2 experiences with couples and a handful of single guys. We've been to Secrets Hideaway in FL a couple times now and enjoyed the playroom ourselves, but no play with others. We recently cancelled a hotel takeover because the thought of going, doing the awkward social thing, but being distracted enough by sexy others that we don't hate it, then ending the night playing together when we'd have better sex at home just doesn't appeal.

The kink we play with is mainly D/s. She's down to play with others and if I tell her we're going to a hotel room with others, she'll do what she's told. We'd discuss, of course, but I already know her answer - 25 years married, I like to think I've learned something. So my question is how likely is it to find play partners that will be OK with just my vetting and communication to participate in a scene with us? I know many single dudes are down to play like this, but would couples? Is this crazy? I can't seem to find any other dynamic like this, but surely we're not the only ones...

EDIT: Consent will be given to anyone that needs it before or during the scene. I'm not looking for some dramatic surprise reveal here. All parties will know what is happening, but not each other. I just want to know if this is something people have done successfully and their insights.

We have searched the sub and seen all of the places people have mentioned but it honestly leaves us with more questions, so we are hoping you fine people can help us out with some suggestions.

We are planning a week long vacation in February or April next year and want to spend at least a couple of days at a swingers resort or club. There are a bunch and we are unlimited in the places we can go inside of the US but our biggest issue is that we are picky. Both 35 white in very good shape and considered attractive people. We do ok financially and tend to like the less trashy crowd - we aren’t pretentious by any means but missing teeth and smoking cigs with your windows rolled up is a quick no for us lol.

We love tropical and aren’t opposed to staying in Florida. But we’ve never been to any of the clubs or resorts or anything before. We’ve had some swaps and absolutely loved them.

Any suggestions? What questions am I not asking that I should be?

any body been to Moon City in Paris recently. The recent reviews on google aren't great, but the reviews here seemed pretty good

Noticed that halfway through a night at Secrets Hideaway, its a little difficult to stay fully hard or get to the finish line. Obviously taking a few minutes in between can help a bit, a bit of fluffing, but does anyone have any good suggestions for ED that work relatively quick and last longer? Ive debated getting a viagra prescription just to have it on hand for these occasions. Thoughts?

My wife and I (41f, 42m) are taking a trip to San Antonio in November (12th-15th) and are planning to check out Colette while we're there. We will be in town Thursday-Saturday so we're thinking about going Thursday night to get a feel for it, then come back Saturday for the iCandy party.

This will be our first time in a lifestyle club. We have been trying some apps and online to find some folks in our area to connect with, but little to no luck. I know some folks locally that claim to be in the "lifestyle" but honestly they seem like they're just out to fk other people and not truly living it the best way. That's not what it's about for us. We want to do this right. We've settled on going to a club first so we can talk and get some advice from more folks in the lifestyle. It just seems like the best way to dip our toes in. And SA is only a few hours from us, so not a big deal to come down there.

A few questions:

Would Friday night be better for us than Thursday? Feels like Thursday might be a bit better to get to talk to some people. But I worry about the cheaper price for too many single males. Are they pushy? We want to relax and have a good time talking to couples, etc.

What type of setups do they provide at the bar? Just sodas/juices? Or do they have margarita mix, etc?

Single female scenario is what interests my wife the most, (I know, I know...they're called unicorns for a reason 😜) but not opposed to another couple if the vibe is right. How is the single female situation?

How big of a bag do people bring for change of clothes, other items? Are toys allowed?

What's the average age difference from, say, Thursday regular night to Saturday for the party?

Are cowboy hat/ boots allowed? I know the Saturday night party is "Galactic Cowboy" themed so I expect to see plenty then. But Thursday/Friday?

We're trying to come prepared for anything honestly...lol.

Hey All

Newbies here!!

Dipping our toes after years of talking about it?

You hear rumours of a big swinging scene in Ireland 🇮🇪.

Is this true?

Is it discreet?

Should we just go abroad?

Any help would be appreciated.

Love to learn more for ourselves.

Thanks.

Assuming a club for many.