he actually let the people that cared about him die because he was too lazy to take care of them and to clean his disgusting house. he was feeding his mother cigs while she was on oxygen til she literally exploded
I think it's asmonmold's room, or rather to be specific I think that's the photo from that one time he cleaned up a little (could be wrong idk it's been ages since I've systematically exterminated everything right wing or grifter-ish off my fyp on everything)
It is, he's cleaned up a couple times and it generally goes right back to this at some point, or at least did last time I saw anything involving him. Hes gone so far off the deep end i try to avoid him these days.
I genuinely haven’t been able to stop thinking about this panel. It’s so easy to be self destructive. Taking care of yourself takes so much more work. Val’s introspective hits so god damn hard.
Yup, depression and low self-esteem are fucking you up badly (because let's be honnest: often they goes together). You just stop to take care of yourself unless forced by circumstances (like having to go out), you make everything to not attract attention, to stay hidden. And you let yourself rot like that, being aware that it's not healthy but all it does is hurting your moral even more so you get less energy, creating a very bad cycle very ahrd to break
Definitely this hit a nerve withing me, If I have discovered this comic a few years ago this panel would either made me cry or hate this comic for ever.
Thankfully now I can appreciate this and look at this from a kinda different angle
lol thanks. The style is called "I'm flying by the seat of my pants" XD I just scribbled down some colors with a blendy gouache brush, used a hard light layer for some glow, and then scrubbed over it with a photoshop art history brush for some painterly texture
Oh lord. This is actually how incels and femcels think! Like, they believe that every stare they get is directed at them in disgust! Poor Val!
Being trapped in those thoughts is not good!
I genuinely wish Val would value herself more. She's looking too much into the eyes of the crowd. To the point she thinks Audrey is the only one looking at her normally.
She's fallen into the trap of every gaze directed at her being negative and that is seriously sad and tragic! Audrey can only help Val get out of it, but Val has to be the one to do the hard work!
Hopefully she'll be able to regain her confidence!
He's an amazing wingman and I have all the respect for Audrey! He's gotten Val out of those baggy grey clothes and for Val to be a bit more outgoing, but it's up to Val to change her own line of thinking!
I do love how much of this comes down to her introspection and being willing to climb out of the pit she fell into.
And also that it's not easy. No "thanks I'm cured" quick fix. Standing there a day later in a room that's definitely not going to be put together when Audrey shows up, because healing takes time and because Val's not put together. But she's trying, and that's what matters. <3
She's had amazing progress. She even went out for a night swim with Audrey! But she can't do that for the sake of Audrey. She has to do that for the sake of herself. To go out and socialize and to wear what she believes to be stylish without fear of judgement or harassment!
To be fair, lots of non-femcel and incel people think like this, too. They just direct all the blame inward. Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything.
As someone with really bad social anxiety i can confirm that thats true sometimes my brain will just start telling me that i shouldn't go to places because nobody wants me there. It used to be harder when i was younger but i learned to force myself into those social situations more often now, even if it still isn't exactly easy
Im six seven and I guess im attractive because people say so and I get advantages with my looks or end up getting with people who are so much more good looking than I think i am.
It took me way too long to open up and not think people think im a freak due to my size
I know we all think of the monstrous incels doing awful, hateful things as the only types that exist but there's also a lot that only have hatred for themselves, living lonely sad lives and keeping away from incel communities which is what breeds most of the unhinged ones. I wouldn't even be surprised if the majority of incels are like this - directing the hatred and blame on themselves alone.
Incel just means involuntary celibacy, not "hatred of all women and non incel men".
I don't think this is strictly an incel thing. I've felt this way on many occasions, and still very much do from time to time. Its just a low self-confidence thing. These feelings are normal, but you can't let them consume you. Never let those thoughts go unquestioned and never give up on yourself.
There's a weird potential crossroads between low self esteem and narcissism. The "everyone hates me" thoughts can be traced back to self esteem, anxiety, trauma... But where some spiral or some cope, there are others who turn it into a victim complex (I'm using these terms for brevity; I'm not a doctor, not medical advice, etc).
These are the ones at risk for falling into -cel rhetoric (among others) because it soothes and coos the ego, saying "there there, you've done nothing wrong, it's all their fault". Externalizing your problems generally has a lot of success because it's the lowest bar for entry - there's no introspection needed, and no or little effort is asked of you. The quote comes to mind: "Unlike the cruel Leonidas who demanded that you stand, I require only that you kneel."
Canto 10 of limbus company, focused on Meursault (a character inspired by the protagonist of The Stranger of the same name) focuses heavily on perception and experiences
Particularly the fear of being methaphorically 'chained/nailed' by the gaze of other people, getting perceived and simplified by random strangers and losing your own identity to it (probably not helped by the fact that N corp operates a giant simulation where the reality is created from the perception of the people operating it)
Val believes she has been chained to being a contemptible person because of the gaze of others and is not ready for Audrey's gaze to nail her as someone deserving of happiness instead
So the terminology and imagery used as well as the fear of the gaze of others draw strong parallels to limbus company canto 10.
By the way you should play limbus company it's a really good game. Canto 10 is just one chapter in a story that goes into a lot of different things
Awww, poor Val. Trying to survive the gaze and judgement of others can be very hurtful. I hope she learns that unconditional love is a real part of the human experience and the world isn't as cruel as it sometimes seems. Shes got a really special friend in Audry. 💜
Wow. This really hit home. I recently came into a growing fire of my own, surprised by the fact that the fire wants to be next to me because I'm me.
For some reason I'm accepting the fire, excited for it. Have I grown?
I remember being looked at and treated with disgust by my peers when I was a kid. I just assumed I deserved it. That there was something inherently different about me that warranted that treatment.
In a weird way it might be a good thing that I thought that way though because I never grew to hate the world. My self esteem was very bad but I was never bitter or angry. And now when I look back I know they were just elementary school kids who didn’t know better yet.
Not gonna lie, I'm invested in both the story and the stupid shenanigans you set up for the patreon callout. It's like a completely separate work at this point.
As someone on the recovering end of a deep depression year (a close friend is helping me get a psychiatrist to have my meds adjusted) this hit really hard. I was never ready for that type of gaze, but it is exactly what you need to help pull yourself out of it.
Shen have always enjoyed your stuff. But I got to say ever since you started leaning into narrative, good God are you fantastic! Keep it up. I hope one day I write something that compares to what you can do with comics.
real. I'm so used to being the stupid one that's wrong all the time that when I got actual friends that respect me and gave expectations I just felt really overwhelmed, like wtf do you mean I helped you, I can't do that!?
There is no light behind those eyes... OH GOD okok I SEE THE LIGHT!
Also, I have a question Shen!
You see recently I had a little talking phase with a girl named Audrey who just so happens to be a swimmer, and my ex before that also went by Val. So when are we going to get a punk artist named Ryland (highschool ex) as a side character? And can Val get a chicken at some point?
Too many times I’ve heard you have to love yourself first to be in a relationship. Forget all that, you do not have to be perfect just try earnestly that is all you need to do
I came here from r/comics since I couldn't comment on this there, but I just wanted to say I thought this comic was great and I think the last panel of the lil guy and the comic trail and the box is super funny!
I've casually seen your stuff for years and I've always liked it and it's just gotten better. So, good stuff! 😊
Like words aren't able to easily convey how much I like this comic and the last panel thing. It's such a cute way to be like "support me here!" while still being really funny and creative.
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u/LovelyLuna32684 3h ago