Yesterday we were going to go out for my friends birthday and my boyfriend was going to pick us up. Her house comes before mine so I told him to pick her up first and then they'll both come and pick me up from my house. They called me and said they were standing outside and I was like alright, I went out and she was sitting in the passenger seat. I went towards the car, I saw she was on a call and I thought she'll get up and go to the backseat but she didn't and I didn't say anything because I thought it wasn't that big of a deal. Then afterwards when we cut her cake and it was time to feed her the cake, there were no spoons. So we had to feed her with our fingers. I fed her the cake and she just ate it normally, then my boyfriend fed her the cake and for some reason she sucked it off his finger. Even my boyfriend was weirded out and wiped his finger right after. Today also she just kept looking at him whenever i'd look at her. So I'm like honestly really confused as to what's going on. Please help me understand if this is normal or not.

Hey folks!

I (26M) recently had to part ways with my girl (23F), with whom I was supposed to get married. Talks for the wedding were already going on.

I'm an above average looking man, with an average height of 5"8. Being ugly and somewhat financially struggling during my teens, I grew up to be way more conscious of my looks and financial status.

I had a glow up entering adulthood and started earning as well. This somewhat resolved my baseline insecurities but my height and financial status wasn't at par as per my own expectations, and became my biggest insecurity.

I kept working on myself, gym to stay fit and working like hell to make more money. I believe money and looks are the way to go.

In the end when she left, it wasn't primarily due to my financial situation or my height at all but the person I'm.

It turns out I was wrong all this time. Money and looks can't solve everything. You need to be there for your loved ones, treat them well, make them feel special instead of taking them for granted.

I was so blind in chasing the money, I forgot to cherish the woman I had. I know I'll hit my financial goals in the next few years but my woman is never coming back.

We dated on and off for 4-5 years. She would end things every once in a while and then would come back. A pattern that kept repeating itself while I lived with anxiety every day.

One day she would propose marriage but won't take a stand for me at home when her family disapproves only to come back three months later and then disappear again.

Met her after over a year last week and had another fight. Came back home. Cried my heart out. Contemplated jumping off the balcony but alas, it was only three floors. Surviving that jump would have been embarrassing.

And two days later, Nothing. It's like something clicked and I am freed.

I remember listening to Mera Piya Ghar aya when I was on my way to see her.

And now I am listening to the same song as I finish my breakfast and leave for office. Only this time. The song is about me making a come back.

My lungs have never been this full of air and the light in my eyes have not been brighter.

I finally feel lie myself 💜

TLDR: Finally moved on 👊🏼

Guys please help me , I have crush on my immediate junior in college and 1 day ago I sent a follow request to her on Instagram and she has accepted it and followed back too

How should i approach her without being creepy- currently annual events are going on in my college and she’s in the organising committee. So she’s posting lot of stories about events and solo stories as well.

Don’t really have mutual friends to introduce her irl
My best option is to reply to one of her Instagram stories

What do you guys suggest ?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, but he moved abroad last year for his master’s. I love him so much, and he feels like family to me, but I’m constantly scared our relationship might not work out.

He has the opportunity to meet someone there, live with them, and experience his twenties, which isn’t possible with me right now. Meanwhile, I’m at home preparing for exams and can’t even call him properly sometimes.

He puts in efforts to keep me whenever I try to break up, and I know he wants to be with me, but I can’t stop fearing that one day he might leave me for someone who can be physically present in his life. How do I deal with this insecurity?

I’m \[27M\], and the woman I’m talking about is \[30 F\]. We were in a relationship for around six months.
She is divorced and was previously involved with another divorced man. Before we started dating, she told me that he understood her situation because he had also gone through a divorce.
Eventually, she and I grew close and started a relationship. She continued talking to him because he was helping her with her divorce-related court proceedings. I trusted her and didn’t want to stop her from receiving support during a difficult time.
At one point, she told me she had left him and unexpectedly asked me to marry her. I loved her, but I felt six months was too early to make such a big decision. I asked her to give us more time.
She was hurt by this, and eventually she went back to him. At that time, I didn’t fully understand what was happening or how close they had become again.
Later, after thinking seriously about our future, I realized that I wanted to marry her. I told her I was ready to commit, but by then she had chosen him.
She now tells me that she wants me to move on. At the same time, she wants to keep talking to me, sharing her problems with me, and having me as someone who understands and supports her. She no longer wants me as her boyfriend, though, and wants to build a future with him.
I still love her, and I keep wondering whether their relationship is based on genuine love or whether the difficult circumstances and the support he gave her brought them together. I know I might be thinking this way because I’m hurt and still hope she will choose me.
I’ve even thought about speaking to him and explaining my side, but I don’t know whether that would help or make the situation worse.
This situation is affecting my peace of mind and my ability to concentrate on my studies and career. I want to move forward, but part of me still hopes that she will realize we could have had a good future together.
**What I need advice on:**
How can I understand and accept her decision when she still wants emotional closeness with me but has chosen someone else?
How do I set boundaries without feeling that I’m losing her completely?
What practical steps can help me stop hoping for reconciliation and focus on rebuilding my life?

30M, live-in relationship of 2 years, completely dead bedroom. Don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m M30, my girlfriend is F30, and we’ve been together for about two years. We live together, have good jobs, make decent money, and share a home with our beloved dog.

On the surface, things are good. We have a life together, we’re comfortable with each other, and there’s a lot that I love about this relationship. If someone looked at our lives from the outside, I don’t think they’d immediately assume anything was wrong.

But our bedroom is absofuckinglutely dead.

I genuinely cannot remember the last time we had sex. It’s been so long that I’ve stopped keeping track. And honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m a fairly sexual person. Physical intimacy is important to me.

I’ve tried approaching this in different ways. I’ve communicated how I feel, tried to initiate conversations without making them confrontational, made gestures, expressed affection through words and actions, and made an effort with non-sexual intimacy too.

The problem is that whenever I try to have an actual conversation about our sex life, she doesn’t engage. She avoids it or brings up something else, and the conversation goes nowhere. We never really address the issue, and nothing changes.

I don’t want to keep bringing it up either. I don’t want to be the guy who’s constantly asking for sex or making his girlfriend feel like she’s obligated to sleep with him. I want her to want me. There’s a pretty big difference.

But I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to want a sex life with your partner, especially at 30. I’m not expecting sex every day or some unrealistic honeymoon phase forever. I understand that things change, stress happens, and libidos differ. But going months, or God knows how long, without sex and not even being able to talk about it properly is a different thing altogether.

And honestly, the lack of sex is one thing. The inability to discuss it is starting to bother me just as much, if not more.

I love her and I don’t want to throw away an otherwise good relationship over this. We’ve built a life together, and there’s a lot that’s worth holding on to. But I also don’t want to keep pretending this doesn’t matter to me and end up resenting her for it.

I don’t know if this is something that can be fixed, whether there’s something deeper going on, or whether we’re just incompatible in this department. It’s hard to figure that out when the conversation itself never happens.

For those who’ve been through a dead bedroom in a long-term relationship:

- Did you manage to fix it? What actually worked?

- What do you do when your partner won’t even have a conversation about the problem?

- And how long do you keep trying before you accept that things might not change?

TL;DR: Good job, good money, good dog, good girlfriend. Sex life is deader than my hopes of getting promoted. Tried communicating, got redirected like a customer care call. Send help.

I 27F am in a good relationship with a guy since four- five months and everything is fine except the fact that i feel I’m too much into him which makes me want to be touchy touchy with him all the time out of love. He on the other hands also enjoys it but not to my extent and probably gets overstimulated at times. Although I do understand where he is coming from, it still hurts my feelings when he refuses my advances.

What should I do ? Has anyone been in my situation? It’s taking up my mental space and idk what to do. I want him only so don’t want to break up

So here is a thing I want to be in a good long term relationship but then not, i tried two times a year apart one recently and last year and first one becomes one stand and after we don't text each other and she also removed me from insta even after asking me to date her, aur is baar she is a friend and we had few moments and I things went for like 3 weeks a I didn't get any feelings so I'm not getting what to do? I'm planning to end things with her too, like I love to be alone but now I'm 22 and I think this year or next will be job and stuff, my college life is going to end and why not a serious relationship? Problem is my not texting non chalant behaviour and major one personal space and feelings like no crush, no attraction till now towards anyone for longer then a month.....and now I don't wanna meet cause it's all end on sex each time and no feelings although sometimes I get this feeling that she is getting attached or even have feelings for me but not me .....

​

We're in a long-distance relationship. She's recently started studying MBBS, while I'm in my UPSC preparation phase, and lately, I've been feeling increasingly distant from her. Before she started college, we used to talk a lot more. Initially, when she hadn't made many friends, she'd call me after almost every lecture. It wasn't that I expected her to spend all her free time with me, but those little moments made me feel connected to her.

Now she's made friends including male friends, and spends time hanging out and playing cards with them. I understand that this is a normal part of college life, and I genuinely want her to enjoy it. But I can't deny that it makes me insecure, especially because we're long-distance.i feel bad that we don't communicate like we used to. Earlier she'd call me whenever she had some free time. Now i sometimes feel like I'm no longer the person she instinctively thinks of. A few days ago, I called her while she was in the library, and she didn't pick up, which was unusual for her. I called her out of jealousy and insecurity because she was with her male friends.I start overthinking whether her feelings or priorities are changing.I realise that some of this might be my own anxiety. She's entering a new phase of life, meeting people and building friendships, while I'm in a preparation phase. Sometimes, it feels like her world is expanding while mine is staying the same, and I'm scared we're slowly growing apart.

I've talked to her about how I feel, and I don't want to become controlling or make her feel guilty for having male friends or enjoying college. At the same time, I miss the closeness we had, and I don't know how to deal with these feelings without repeatedly seeking reassurance from her. She also wants to fix this. It was her who started feeling distant first, now she doesn't feel it but I do.

How do you deal with jealousy and insecurity when your partner makes new friends, including male friends? How do you distinguish between your own anxiety and genuine emotional distance from your partner? Is it reasonable to ask for consistent time and effort, and how do we rebuild our connection without making communication feel like an obligation?

I love her, she loves me and want her to enjoy this phase of her life. But I'm feeling neglected and unwanted. I don't want my insecurities to damage our relationship, but I also want to feel connected.

I’m 30M, and I’m in an arranged marriage setup with a 28F. We’ve met several times, and I genuinely like her. However, I’m noticing some things that are making me question whether we’re emotionally compatible and ready for marriage.
Initially, she wasn’t very interested in this match, but gradually things improved, and she started showing interest in me. Things have moved forward, but I still have some concerns.

1. She frequently likes sad reels about her ex.
She has a main Instagram account and a second private account. I don’t have an issue with her having a private account; everyone deserves privacy.
What bothers me is that on her main account, she regularly likes reels about heartbreak, being abandoned by an ex, wondering why he left, and other depressing relationship content. I’m talking about 2–3 such reels almost daily.
I understand that people take time to heal from breakups, and liking reels doesn’t necessarily mean someone still loves their ex. But it makes me wonder whether she’s emotionally ready to move on and build a future with me.

2. She’s very sensitive and gets hurt easily.
She sometimes gets upset over relatively small things and cries easily. I feel she might have some unresolved emotional pain or past trauma, but she’s not comfortable sharing much about it with me.
I don’t expect her to reveal everything about her past, and I don’t want to diagnose her. However, I’m concerned about how we would handle disagreements and stressful situations after marriage.

3. I’m always the one initiating communication.
I almost always initiate calls and messages. She rarely reaches out first.
I understand that people have different communication styles, especially in arranged marriages where feelings may take time to develop. But sometimes I wonder whether she genuinely wants this relationship as much as I do.

4. The effort to meet feels one-sided.
I’ve travelled to her city around 10 times to meet her. She has come to my city only once, and that was to see my house.
I don’t expect everything to be exactly 50–50, but I’d like to feel that she’s also making an effort to spend time with me.
My dilemma:
I genuinely like her, and I don’t want to walk away from a potentially good relationship because of overthinking or insecurities. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore important concerns just because I’m emotionally invested.
I’m particularly worried about whether she’s emotionally available, whether her feelings for me are genuine, and whether the lack of initiative will continue after marriage.
I also recognise that I might be interpreting some things incorrectly. Her private Instagram account, sensitivity, or interest in sad content doesn’t automatically make her dishonest or unsuitable for marriage.

I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been through arranged marriages or experienced similar situations.
Am I overthinking the Instagram reels, or is it reasonable to discuss emotional readiness with her?
How do I distinguish a reserved person who takes time to open up from someone who isn’t genuinely interested?
Should I continue giving this relationship time, or pause the marriage process until these concerns are resolved?
What conversations should we have before making a lifelong commitment?
I don’t want to judge her unfairly, but I also don’t want to enter a marriage hoping that these issues will magically disappear afterward.

Main 20+ years ki ho gayi hoon aur aaj tak kabhi kisi relationship mein nahi aayi. Main hamesha kehti hoon ki mujhe bhi boyfriend chahiye, mujhe bhi love experience karna hai, kisi ke saath emotional connection feel karna hai, care, affection aur relationship wali chhoti-chhoti cheezein experience karni hain.

But there's something I don't understand about myself.

Jab bhi koi ladka mujh mein interest dikhata hai ya mujhe approach karne ki koshish karta hai, toh main automatically usse distance create karne lagti hoon. Main consciously aisa karne ka decide nahi karti, bas naturally mere saath aisa hone lagta hai.

Aur sabse confusing baat ye hai ki mujhe relationship chahiye bhi. Kabhi-kabhi sochti hoon ki kaisa feel hota hoga jab koi tumhe genuinely love karta ho, tumhari care karta ho, tumhare baare mein sochta ho aur tumhari life ka ek special part hota ho.

But jab mujhe actually kisi ke saath relationship mein aane ka chance milta hai, toh main khud hi peeche hatne lagti hoon. Mujhe samajh nahi aata ki aisa kyun hota hai. Kya mujhe commitment se darr lagta hai? Kya main relationship ke liye ready nahi hoon? Ya phir mujhe sirf relationship ka idea achha lagta hai, but jab woh reality banne lagti hai toh main uncomfortable ho jaati hoon?

Ab main sochne lagi hoon ki kya mujhe genuinely relationship mein aane ki koshish karni chahiye? Kya mujhe bhi life mein ek baar love experience karna chahiye, ya phir mujhe is baat ko lekar itna nahi sochna chahiye aur naturally life ko chalne dena chahiye?

Kabhi lagta hai ki relationship mein aana chahiye, experience karna chahiye. Kabhi lagta hai ki rehne do, jab shaadi hogi tab dekha jayega. Aur kabhi sochti hoon ki agar aise hi single rehna hai toh usmein bhi kya problem hai?

I'm genuinely confused because jo main chahti hoon aur jo main actually karti hoon, dono bilkul opposite hain.

Kya kisi aur ke saath bhi aisa hota hai? Agar hua hai, toh aapko kya lagta hai ki aisa kyun hota hai? Aur mujhe kya karna chahiye?

I'd really appreciate your honest opinions and experiences. Please judge mat karna, main bas khud ko samajhne ki koshish kar rahi hoon.

So I (32/M) have been talking to this girl for the past 2 months. We met through arranged marriage setup,have met only once though since we live in different cities. We don't have many common interests, but as far as we have talked i found her to be pretty nice. Now the things are moving pretty fast, like families are planning next steps. But the problem is I like her, but I don't know if I am able to see her as a lover yet. It's not like I don't like something about her or I have found any faults in her. I have had a bad breakup a few years back and I haven't been in a relationship ever since. I like her character and family is also quite nice. So married guys, please help!!

Should I proceed further? Does love really happen after marriage?

I don't want to miss out on someone who is really nice and have a good character.At the same time don't want to spoil our lives too!!

I’m [23F] and I have a boyfriend [23M]. We have been together for a while now and both of our families know. We were in a live in relationship as well. But he is moving to Europe for his Phd and he will return after 4-5 years. I’m planning to get a masters, but I don’t know where.

My family recommend we get married and move abroad and live together, and I can get my masters in EU as well (they don’t know we were in a live in relationship).

My boyfriend was a bit reluctant and so was I. It feels like we are too young. But if I get to go to the same country as him, I think it’s good ? But I’m very confused? Is it too early? Will I regret it?

PS: My parents won’t send me with him if I’m all alone on my own or if we aren’t married

Hey all I 22M met a girl one year ago in a WhatsApp group some how we connected & starting study & sharing daily targets

Fyi I was a very nerd & only talk about stuff related to study with her also i never connected with a girl at that age

So she was very talkative & she is the one who always initiates conversation which is outside the study related stuffs which I try to avoid as it waste my time

But slowly slowly i started liking that but try to avoid

Then after one month we become friends and she used to share her pics without asking commenting on my status writing sorry msg for things which never her mistakes

She used to told me that she wants to go with a bike ride with me in night etc etc then we met and used to sit in parks for hours roam to many places & i hold her hand put my head on her shoulder touch her cheeks & she likes it also

One day she told me she had a breakup with her bf before we know eachother & she regret this but the bf was very abusive so she cut all the connections with him

From that day i maintained the distance but somehow i never able to carry this for long and again started talking with her we both gave couple vibes now after one year many thing happened we gave gifts to eachother she asked for a jhumka from me and all

But all this things was creating a mess in my head as i want a clarification as what we really are? So I decided to confess her in first two days she denied & said u are the best thing happened in my life but i never had feelings for u so I ended that topic & stop talking to her but later she says u are the man I was always looking for, my ex was the toxic & all so we connected for a week doing flirt etc but later I got to know that she is still connected with her ex which is her bf in reality but they fight too much & he is toxic af

So I confronted her & she says she can't date two people we fought we abused eachother & now we are not longer friends

But my question is why the fuck she did this to me? Why people do this if they can't forget their ex why to look for someone else

I am hurt as I lost that person as well as my friend which I share everything

He called me in the evening, and I couldn't stop myself from answering. We spoke for barely two minutes before he abruptly hung up. I didn't call him back, but I spent the entire night fighting the urge to reach out, just to know if he was okay.

I keep thinking about a year ago, when I had surgery. When I woke up from anaesthesia, the first thing I asked my mom was why he wasn't there. A few minutes after they shifted me to my room, he came. The room was dimly lit, he kissed my forehead, and I was trying to remove my oxygen mask just so I could talk to him.

I tried everything to make things work between us. I loved him unconditionally, showed up for him, and stayed even when everyone around me told me to leave. I kept putting my feelings and self-respect aside because I genuinely believed that, eventually, things might change.

But the last time, I felt disrespected in a way I couldn't keep overlooking. As much as I wanted to believe things could work out between us, I had to accept that some things might never change, no matter how much I cared.

The hardest part is that we never even dated. We were never officially in a relationship, yet he became such a significant part of my life. I don't know what to call what we had, but I know that what I felt was real.

I've had so many breakdowns wondering if things could ever be different. Even now, a part of me keeps asking, What if things change someday? What if we find our way back to each other? But I also know I can't keep waiting for a possibility at the cost of my own peace.

How do you move on from someone who was never technically yours, but whom you loved so deeply? How do you accept that something can mean so much to you and still not be something you can stay in?

I know I need to choose myself this time. I just wish doing the right thing didn't hurt this much.

Hey so its my first time meeting him and i never thought he was suxh type of person that would force me like this but unfortunately he was so he said lets meet in a room it would be comfortable to talk , i agreed after a long time but soon as we entered the room he starting touching me a lot which i dont like obvs so i told him and he hugged me harshly and lay me on the bed and kept touching me and when i got mu angry tone he sat on me like my legs as he forced me to lie and kissed me forcefully and he was not letting me go and i realised tht i made ahuge mistake , so i understood one thing that i have to now behave smartly and i trued to be calm but he didnt stop touching and now it was a lot i dont like it bhyi , then again he forcefully kissed me and one thing more from the starting my tears fell down and he already knew i was in pain and when he again forcefully kissed me i just kept closing my eyes and now he said ket me remove your top or ekse he will tear it and then i scream and he got panicked and said ok we r going out chill but he said wait as everyone woukd have heard my noice but i said i dont care lemme go and he said just waut and kept pleading and he didnt let me go then he again got angry but after some time i heard some noise outside and i scremed and i was crying so got panicked and fastky i went out by ooening teh door there were 2 people outside ididnt care and i mived out of the hotel and he came backwords but i quickly took my activa abd went ( one thing more when i came down tears were un my eyes and a lot of people were there) now idk wht to do?

So there is this girl who is my friend. We have been friends for a year now. We were in same class of college. We have a trio in which we hang out. Sometimes its just me and her alone talking about life and stuff on her flat's roof.

So when I saw her first time i found her cute. As she was my friend's friend, I started the conversation smoothly and we became friends soon.

Initially, I had no intention of liking her as i felt it was weird and impossible for me to like a friend. There exists a line which i can't cross.

But now when i look back, to October 2025, when we got close as friends, I realise that a seed was sown there itself. Maybe i had developed a little bit of feelings for her which i didn't realise bcz i was actually trying to date someone else at that time (like dating apps which i stopped using in November itself). I was doing things a person do when he likes someone. But i never realised my liking for her and thought it off as a crush maybe.

Months went by. We used to chat a lot on whatsapp, me sometimes complimenting her (little bit of flirting) to which she replied positively (which i think was unexpected bcz we are friends after all🥲). And whenever i was absent from college she will msg me to come. We did usual friends stuff like movies, cafe, parks, etc (obviously in a trio).

By March, i started realising that she holds a special place in my life but i can't say its love. Even our friends started teasing us in groups (making it obvious for her), and then I had to sweep the dirt under the rug, denying the accusations, where she supported me.

In the month of june this year, we were at a park where she was clicking photos with the third person in the group (a guy) and i felt a sense of jealousy, which though never happened before.

I came back home and thought this was getting serious. I introspected and realised i do have genuine feelings for her.

I didn't want to propose to her because:

a) she once told me that she was friends with a guy in coaching elsewhere where the guy actually liked her. But she said she couldn't accept that because she find it difficult to look for romantic relationship after being friends( i thought god was trying to send me a signal here), which even i find it weird. MAYBE THIS IS THE FEAR I HAVE. I dont want to be treated like that guy. And if i confess, i think she will clearly think badly of guy friends. ( she has been single her whole life, being the studious one, she has rejected multiple proposals)

b) And she is two/three years older(26/27) and more mature than me(24). She is preparing for govt jobs and fully dedicated to it. She has seen little success so she is kinda worried about her employment status rn. Also her family is asking her to move back home if she is not going to work and just want to prepare for govt exams. But she doesn't want to move back and is seeking private employment now. Some family members have also started talking about her marriage now.

Given this background, i didn't find it suitable to become an added headache for her by proposing to her.I'm career focused now, and dont wanna face any disturbance in my life. It goes the same for her.

Also she once clearly stated that i was the one of the last friend she has made in college and apparently one of the 'good' friend.

Therefore i stopped talking to her for a month ( it was vacation time and we both were at our homes), didn't msg her for a month to get some clarity. It was difficult. I used to get dreams where i was talking to her. I used to get bad headaches. I was missing her so much.

I tried to resist my temptation to talk as much as i could. I guess it worked out a little. My craziness for her came down a bit. I gave myself some time.

So here is what i realised about myself:

There is some sort of liking for her, but do i actually love her? I DON'T KNOW. I REALLY DONT KNOW. Though I love spending time with her. It just makes me content and feel complete. My day is made

I really never imagined us being together, like where guys manifest how it'd be like to be actually with someone. I can't create a picture of us being together in future ( my self defense mechanism is saving me from heartache i believe)

I guess i have created dual personality now. One which says she is just a friend and I really do not long for her.And my day goes normal.

Another personality gets sad thinking we cant be together, wants to talk to her and reads older texts and get happy. My heart beats faster when im about to msg her (I've continued conversations now), wait for replies, gets happy seeing one. Gets sad when she replies with 'hmm'. Loves spending time with her, care for her, just want to see her. Look at her photos. Overthink what she could be doing, where she is going.

I have been single my whole life. I had chances of making gfs but i didn't avail it because i never felt like i could be honest and dedicated to them. They didn't make me feel complete. Like something was missing. So i pulled away multiple times, from various girls(respectfully). But with this girl, i felt like maybe she is the one. She is the complete one. I like everything about her. If she is in my life, it feels like a void in me has been fulfilled.

But I don't want to confess. Im afraid of losing her if she doesn't like me back. Im waiting for the time where this thing dilutes and i start seeing again her a friend. I cant afford to lose such a good person from my life.

She is mature and really smart, and i guess she has never given any hint if she likes me.

Otoh, I'm comparatively less mature. But i have given her various hints by now. I mean my behavior around her is enough to raise suspicions. Our other friends clearly suspect that i like her.

So i am hanging between this two thoughts. And i can't decide if i love her. I really really want her in my love life and also i don't. I cant decide.

What do i want? Best case scenario, if she likes me back too. Equally best scenario if i start seeing her back as a friend again.

My ultimate question

1) what exactly is that? Where i have mixed feelings for her. I love being around her but cant decide if it is love. I WANT CLARITY.

2) And how do i know if she likes me back or not, without actually asking her.

3) what should i do? It is going on for 4 months now.

(If anyone wants added inputs, i can provide that. I may make edits. I wrote this in 2 days)

I F(22) has been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(23) for past one year. My boyfriend and I have been together for around a year. He’s a Tamil Brahmin, and I’m a Malayali Nair. His mother doesn’t approve of our relationship because of our caste difference , also she expects someone who is more culturally rooted , which is not really me.

We’re still young, and marriage isn’t something we’re planning any time soon . I know we have a lot of growing up to do, and neither of us can predict what our lives will look like years from now.
But knowing that his family might never accept me makes me question everything.
I don’t want to ruin what we have right now by constantly worrying about the future, but I also don’t know how to enjoy the relationship fully when a part of me is already knowing the possibility of losing him oneday.

For those who have been in a similar situation, how did you deal with this? Did you continue the relationship and take things as they came, or did knowing that you might never have a future together eventually become too painful?

Background -

We both are studying engineering and it's been one year of our long distance relationship. His college is in my hometown so it's a brief time we get to meet before he goes to his hometown and my parents are super strict and I have no friends to go out with so even if we are in the same city at the same time i can barely meet him. His college hostel is 20km away from my house.

Present,-

I came home for puja vacations and even though I was in town for a week and a half before he goes to his hometown i met him for 5 minutes. 5 freaking minutes only when he was going to the station and my house came in the way. We did a handshake because people were around I can't afford any ruckus those 5 minutes I was only stressed because I told my mother I am going to take snacks from the shop below our house.

Before this meeting I met him last on 7th May. 5 months and 5 minutes of meeting only.

I can literally count on my hands the hours we have been together. 2 days in summer vacation for like 5 hours each. 18hrs in a college fest. And 2 hrs last December winter. And twice when he was going to station barely 30 seconds a glimpse of him face from balcony.

30 hours and it's been more than a year.

I miss him a lot at moments and i cry so much. Our one month proposal aniversary is coming and we can't go out together. We have never been to dates. Right now I'm missing him so much I feel jealous of everyone who get to see their partners everyday when I'm dying to meet him. Our relationship is great we both understand each other out way of tackling fights is also good we are in a healthy relationship and the way he cares for me is amazing. But a part of me craves physical closeness. My mental health is not very good I have last history of self ha*m, suic*** tendencies, PTSD. There are times when I am sad Im having panic attacks I just want him to hold me because that is the most peaceful place. I am a crybaby sometimes I start crying on video call with him just because I want to be close to him and he hates tear in my eyes I feel bad for that.

One day in the physics lab my lab partner touched my waist from both his hands to move me to other side. At that moment I was frozen I carried on with my task but when I came home I realised what had happen I broke down at that moment I wanted him to hold me. He was there with me on call tried to calm me but when I'm emotionally stimulated my hearing senses shut down or something i feel all voices around me are noise.

Right now also I'm crying I'm missing him so much I don't know when I'll meet him next. Maybe one day more in November and then next summer. I can't handle long relationship like this.

My very close Friend is in love with a girl at our college and has been for a while, he's been trying to get close to her for a long time, but a few months ago she started to like me instead of him, she sat close to me on the bus, started resting her head on me, started even touching me on occasions to get noticed and as she started doing this, my friend became very depressed, we're both very close and our friendship matters dearly to us both, atleast to me it is. So he asked me to let her go for him. this was a dilemma for me, as I am not someone who has been close to too many girls, i am very lonely in terms of relationships, and at first I didn't really want anything with her, but she grew close to me, I started to like her antics, even tho I wasn't really fond of her, I became fond of how she behaved around me, no doubt I have begun to like her for the joy she brings to me. She makes me happy and I can't help but be dragged towards her for making my miserable life better.

But here's the bad part, My friend can't seem to move on from her, he tells me he's seriously in love with her and wouldn't be happy if she became close to me especially as we're really close friends as well. He asked me to not move forward with her, I thought of this for a while but came to a conclusion, I like her, but won't break our friendship for that, so I told him, you can try on her. I won't get in your way but if you get rejected I will move forward with her anyway. And that's where the problem comes. He insists that I fully divest from her and that I still risk making our friendship worse if he gets rejected and I get in with her afterwards.

I am willing to leave her for him, but he wants me to fully part with her forever even if he gets rejected. I promised him I won't come in their way while he tries to get into a relationship with her, but he still doesn't want that, he wants me fully out. His reasoning is that me being with her even after being him rejected will ruin both our friendship and his love, and he can't deal with both. Now what should I do? I don't wanna sacrifice what I have with her just for him to get rejected and leave me empty handed as well. But he insists that's the only way it will work out. What should I do?

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Okay guys, I had a pretty interesting conversation with one of my close friends recently, and now I'm genuinely confused about my own opinion on this. 😭

So last month, one of my friends went to Vietnam and ended up having sex with a sex worker. He paid for it, had his experience and came back to India.

Now here's the thing. He has a girlfriend. They've been together for quite some time, they're pretty close, and honestly, they're a cute couple.

But apparently, he hasn't been completely satisfied with his sex life.

He told me that he has certain sexual fantasies, especially involving a particular body type and stuff like lifting his partner during sex. His girlfriend is on the heavier side, so some of those things aren't really possible for them.

He has discussed his preferences with her before, but she isn't interested in changing her body or going to the gym. And fair enough, that's completely her choice. Nobody should have to change their body just to satisfy someone else's fantasies.

Anyway, while he was in Vietnam, he met a sex worker who matched the physical type he'd always fantasized about. And he decided to pay for the experience.

After coming back, he confessed everything to me. And man, he was feeling extremely guilty about it.

I could see that he was genuinely struggling with what he'd done.

Now, as his friend, my first instinct was to calm him down rather than make him feel even worse.

So I told him something like, "Bro, it's just a paid service, right? You weren't emotionally involved with her. You didn't fall in love, go on dates or develop a connection. You paid for an experience, and that was it."

In my head, I was comparing it to any other service. There's no emotional attachment, no romantic involvement, nothing beyond the transaction.

But then he asked me a question.

"Okay, imagine your girlfriend went somewhere, paid a guy to have sex with her, and came back. Would you be okay with that?"

And I actually thought about it for a while.

Then I told him, "I think I would be okay with it."

For example, suppose my girlfriend had some particular sexual fantasy involving a guy with a different body type or physical characteristics that I simply couldn't offer. If she paid someone to experience it, with absolutely no emotional involvement, I don't think I'd have a huge problem with it.

But if she secretly started talking to another guy, flirting, going on dates, building an emotional connection or maintaining some kind of relationship behind my back, that would genuinely hurt me.

And I wouldn't do those things either.

That's where I personally seem to draw the line.

But after coming home, I started questioning my own thinking.

Am I being too casual about this?

Because when I think about it, paying for sex doesn't automatically mean your partner would be okay with it. Just because there's no emotional connection doesn't mean there's no betrayal, right?

And another thing is, I was looking at the situation from my friend's perspective because I wanted to make him feel better. But I haven't really thought about how his girlfriend would feel if she found out.

Maybe I'm just separating sex and love more than most people do.

I personally feel that physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are two different things. But I also understand that for many people, sex itself is something exclusive to a relationship.

So now I'm curious.

Do you guys consider paid sex cheating, even if there's zero emotional attachment?

Does the fact that money is involved change anything?

And if you genuinely wouldn't mind your partner paying someone for sex, does that mean you have a different understanding of monogamy?

I'm not trying to justify what my friend did. I'm genuinely trying to understand where people draw the line.

Because right now, even I'm questioning my own logic. 😭

My girlfriend and I recently broke up, and I’m struggling to accept it because we still love each other.

A while ago, at a dance class we go every weekend, I playfully slapped her cheek(very lightly, just to tease her) and pulled her towards me. In my mind, it was playful affection, but she experienced it as being hit and manhandled in public. She’d told me not to do that outside the bedroom, and I apologised and stopped. Later after 2 months, she told me she’d been holding onto the incident for weeks and that it had made her feel unsafe

Here’s some context:
in private, she’d asked me to slap her and be rougher with her during sex. I’m not naturally that kind of person, but I explored those things because she enjoyed them. I think I wrongly assumed that this kind of playfulness would translate outside the bedroom, too. I understand now that consent in one context doesn’t mean consent in another. I never intended to hurt or intimidate her, but I know my intentions don’t erase how she felt.

There were other issues. She often felt I was emotionally unavailable, that she had to initiate every deep conversation, and that I didn’t let her into my inner world. I started opening up more, but she felt it was too late.

We cried during our breakup and told each other we still loved each other. Since then, we’ve had affectionate moments and talked about missing each other, which makes this even harder to process. I’ve asked her to reconsider, apologised, and explained my perspective, but she’s said she doesn’t want to continue the relationship.

I keep thinking that if she could understand my intentions alongside her experience, we might have worked through this. But I also know she doesn’t owe me another chance.

**I’d appreciate honest advice:**
Has anyone experienced something similar, where an unintentional action changed how their partner felt about the relationship?
Am I minimising her experience by thinking this was something we could have worked through?
How do I take responsibility without constantly trying to prove I never intended harm?
Should I go no contact and accept the breakup, even though we still seem to have feelings for each other?

I’m not looking for ways to force her to come back. I want to understand this situation more clearly and learn how to move forward.